Thursday Morning Links

Greetings and salutations, dear friends. Its been a while…

Why’d I take this shit job again?

I won’t even bother trying to do much of a sports update since so little happened yesterday (other than ManUre choking). That may take a couple days of me actually watching games to get back up to speed. I do know Liverpool also such into the knockout stages of the UCL. Let’s see what the final 16 draw brings. I need to get through another weekend of the NFL before I know what the hell is going on other than the Steelers shitting the bed. College bowl games start soon, I think. If I get a few minutes, I’ll create a bowl pick-em deal again, or someone else can, so we can measure ourselves against each other again. More details on that possibility coming soon. And that’s pretty much it for sports.

Hey, Henry IV was born on this day. So were: industrialist Werner von Siemens, theatergoer Mary Todd Lincoln, super-soldier (that’s actually a gross understatement) Sgt Alvin York, actor Van Heflin, boxer Archie Moore, comedic genius Dick Van Dyke, actor Christopher Plummer, guitarist Jeff Baxter, rocker Davy O’List, wrestler Sylvester “Junkyard Dog” Ritter, moron Ben Bernanke, snaggletooth actor Steve Buscemi, musical genius Morris Day, actor Jamie Foxx, singer Taylor Swift and sharp-dressing golfer Rickie Fowler.

This paralyzation trick also works on chickens

Its also the day on which the following events occurred: Pope Paul III opened the Council Of Trent, Dartmouth College received its charter, The Nanking Massacre took place, Jackie Robinson was traded to the Giants but chose to retire rather than make the move, “Alice’s Restaurant” was released, Billy Martin was fired by…the MINNESOOOOODA TWIIIIIINS, Yasser Arafat addressed the UN in Geneva (and then promptly went back to his hidden fortune in Paris), Al Gore finally conceded the 2000 election, Saddam Hussein was captured and Salma Hayek fingered Harvey Weinstein in a claim of sexual assault.

That’s all for that. Now…the links!

“Something stinks. Must be downwind from Calais again.”

Theresa May survived her no-confidence vote and will now seek a lifeline from EU leaders in order to save the shitty Brexit she negotiated. I still don’t see what’s wrong with unilaterally saying “these are our immigration rules for EU “citizens” and these are our trade offers…take them or leave them. Sure seems simpler than groveling with the people who you’re ending a relationship with who have no real mechanism to force you to stay.

You want a weird story? This is a weird story.. No spoilers, you gotta read it yourself.

Speaking of the aforementioned Weinstein, I think its safe to say his attorney is planning a vigorous defense.. I’m getting some popcorn. And no, not for $8 a box at the local theater but at home from my own popper.

This story is proof that the world is full of assholes. Way to teach your kids love and tolerance, assholes.

Now powered by diesel, batteries and human waste (allegedly)!

If you’re the kind of person who thinks its cool to literally piss on the floor of your workplace, then Chicago has a public sector union job for you! Apparently you can even take a shit in a plastic bag and not get fired.

Sometimes twitter people you respect come up with something so incredibly stupid that you don’t know if they’ll ever regain your trust. This is one of those times. Nerds, please address this in the comments.

Christ, what an asshole. Not that its surprising because it happens every year. But still…what an asshole.

Here’s a good one for you as we approach the Christmas season.

Now go give em hell, friends.

Comments

454 responses to “Thursday Morning Links”

  1. Evan from Evansville

    I don’t care what you say I’d fuck the hell out of Miley.

    Vroom vroom.

    1. Pat

      Even if she wore a welder’s mask and NASA equipped me with a prophylactic wrapper made from the same shit they use to keep the space shuttle from disintegrating on reentry I’d take a pass.

      BUT, you know, you do you.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Evan must be trolling us with this Miley and Carly Rae Jepsen love.

    2. Rebel Scum

      fuck the hell out of Miley

      Pass.

      Also, would you even after seeing this?

      1. Suthenboy

        Biggest boner killer I have seen in a long time.

    3. Slammer

      I’ve said it numerous times, and I’ll say it again…she has perfect tits

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        We will not hear from Q today. He will see this and faint.

      2. MikeS

        I’ll not go so far as to say perfect, but they are quite excellent. Her only redeeming feature, really.

    4. FOS

      If fuck her and her and Linsey Lohan

      1. Private Chipperbot

        /fist bump.

        I just think of Lindsey in her Mean Girls sweater.

      2. MikeS

        I would also fuck Linsey…if I had a time machine.

        1. Chipwooder

          This. 20 year old Lindsey was a knockout.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            She was 35 by the time she turned 20.

            And went straight to 50.

          2. Mojeaux

            Nicole Kidman and Meg Ryan carved up their faces. So now they’re “Oh, honey, you’re trying too hard” years old.

          3. SugarFree

            At least Kidman had herself carved into a statue of herself; Ryan looks like a deranged Muppet.

    5. SugarFree

      You guys know this is only because Evan saw those Instagram pics of Miley squatting to piss in a parking lot, right?

      No kink-shaming, please.

      1. Evan from Evansville

        I have taken many a piss/wank wile driving. No. I did not wash my hands.

        Kindred spirits unite.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Salma Hayek fingered Harvey Weinstein

    Ewww

    1. AlexinCT

      As libertarians i thought we were not supposed to judge people’s sexual preferences…

      1. Suthenboy

        We can judge, we just dont use govt or social pressure to prevent them from indulging. I can still point and laugh.

        1. Sean

          Nelson Muntz is a libertarian?

          1. AlexinCT

            Wait, are you asking if he is? Cause he certainly is…

          2. bacon-magic

            ha ha

  3. Pat

    You want a weird story? This is a weird story

    It reads like a synopsis of an X-Files episode. I miss the X-Files…

    1. If Sculley was replaced by Miss Cleo, right?

      1. Pat

        Nerds, please address this in the comments.

        People who unironically stay in children’s fantasy fandoms into adulthood should be sterilized for their own benefit.

        1. Pat

          Huh, don’t know how that ended up here.

          Anyway, uh, Sculley vs Ms Cleo…

          1. hate_speech

            Well, the only thing wrong about that post is the thread you posted in!

        2. Nephilium

          There’s been a hierarchy in place since 2002. We probably need to update it and add branches for Harry Potter and Teen Dystopian novels though.

  4. Pat

    Way to teach your kids love and tolerance, assholes.

    Listen if they didn’t want their kid getting beat up at school they should have picked a better surname.

    I’m sure the school’s 7 billion dollar anti-bullying grant from the DOE will help… as long as the kid wants to transition to a non-binary genderqueer and needs bathroom accommodation.

    1. What’s sad is that the kid has given in and will change his name. What he needs is lessons in how to beat the shit out of someone and a bunch of creatine.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        6th graders hate Trump? Public schools working as intended.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Exactly this. The anti-bullying bullshit has turned into “Don’t hurt bullies, they have feelings too”

      3. Pope Jimbo

        I have a great uncle who somehow was named Evelyn. He was from the side of the family that was Irish, short and very strong. In a mob of tough dudes who grew up in the depression, he was the toughest because he spent so much time fighting anyone who laughed at his name.

      4. The Last American Hero

        Remember when all those conservative kids were roughing up all the “Bill Clintons” back in the 90’s?

        Yeah, me neither.

      5. Bobarian LMD

        My name is Sue, how do you do?

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Bobby Berto, Joshua’s stepfather

      Great another privileged shitlord is about to change his name to Berto.

      1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

        The kid is just setting himself up to run for president in 2044. You gotta start early these days.

  5. Suthenboy

    Who steals a bicycle? Lowest form of thief, that’s who. Stereotypes dont exist for no reason.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      From my experience? Everyone steals bikes.

      I’m still trying to figure out how SP, OMWC and Leap distracted me at the last Minnesoda meetup so they could steal my bike off the back of my car. WAIT! I just figured it out. It was Tundra! Him begging off at the last minute was just a ruse. And SP’s ranting about his absence was just another layer of the ruse to throw me off the scent.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Ooops, hit post too soon.

        I was going to accuse Leap and OMWC of plying me with drinks to keep me from figuring it out at the time.

        I was the victim of a classic group heist. Let’s call it Lakes 10,000

        1. leon

          The Minnesota Job?

          1. Chipping Pioneer

            Dude, Where’s My Skidoo?

          2. MikeS

            Jimbo: You got a tatoo!

            Tundra: You do too!

            Jimbo: What does mine say?

            Tundra: Uffda. Tell me what mine says!

            Jimbo: You betcha! What does mine say?

            Tundra: Uffda. Tell me what mine says!

            Jimbo: You betcha, what does mine say?

          3. Pope Jimbo

            *snort*

            I had to read it a few times before I figured it out. At least us Minnesodans can read, you NoDaks can’t even do that.

          4. MikeS

            For those of you who don’t get the reference (I assume the vast majority of you) it is a reference to this scene from Dude, Where’s My Car? I lost 90 minutes of my life that I can’t get back to that movie. Although, I do still parrot this scene to this day.

            I half expected someone to list it last night in the guilty pleasures post. If they had, they would have beat even banginglc1 and his love of Lifetime movies.

          5. AlexinCT

            Reminds me of the blond I dated that I entertained by writing “Turn me over” on a piece of paper, then doing that and writing it again…

            She had hours of entertainment from that, leaving me alone to do my thing, and never complained.

          6. MikeS

            Frozen Reservoir Dogs

          7. MikeS

            Felonious Old Men

      2. Old Man With Candy

        That’s a story we’ll be telling for years.

        Of course it was Tundra. Can’t trust snubbers.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Well SP might be telling for years. You? Even with wild enthusiasm and a generous reading of actuarial tables, “years” seems a bit much for you OMWC.

          The genius is that you guys totally sold me on the idea that Tundra snubbed us. I never thought until today that you were all in on this grand scheme to steal my shitty Walmart bike.

          I realize now that you don’t really own a giant white dog. That was just Tundra in a polar bear suit. I should have seen through it when he started to lick Leap so enthusiastically.

    2. straffinrun

      Uh, that’s the only thing besides umbrellas I get stolen from me. Both of them are more “borrowed” than stolen. Found the bike both times ditched at the station, so I assume it was some hungover salaryman that was late for work.

      1. Sensei

        I think its hysterical that the only two petty crimes I’m aware of in Japan are bicycle theft and umbrella theft.

        It’s a remarkably honest culture.

        1. straffinrun

          Unless your name is Carlos.

        2. Tejicano

          I have heard this for decades from the long-term Gaijin cadre – “The only things that get stolen in Japan are bicycles and umbrellas”. It’s almost like you are not supposed to really own them, you just happen to have one around until somebody else needs it. And the bikes are more like two-wheeled boomerangs – they usually come back.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            I wish I could find the inflight rules and laws for gaijin video somewhere online. Bicycle theft and knife possession are specifically addressed.

            “Traffic safety and crime prevention videos for tourist in Tokyo”

      2. slumbrew

        Tangential, but I had my gloves stolen a couple weeks ago, from the cloakroom of the goddamn Harvard Club.

        To be fair, this was prior to The Game at Fenway and there were a bunch of Yalies there too, so it may have been one of them.

        Either way, good to see them keeping the “self-entitled douchebags” stereotype alive.

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think I’ve found straff (or Evan, can’t tell)

        1. Tejicano

          Korea

        2. Sensei

          Are you saying all that funny foreign writing looks the same?

          (It’s Korean BTW.)

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            This is why libertarian parties are so much fun…

          2. Tejicano

            The funny thing (to me) is that Hangul (written Korean) is probably the simplest, most logical way to write any language. For anybody who has studied more than a couple writing systems it can be learned in a few days (you just have to have it in your environment if you want to remember it).

          3. Sensei

            Fun video about the origin of Korean…

            https://youtu.be/j9hzK0K1L4I

            His Japanese language videos are funny too, especially if you’ve studied Japanese.

          4. Bobarian LMD

            The other martial arts in the world (kung fu, ninjutsu, etc.) are all seriously diluted imitations of Sinanju.

          5. Pope Jimbo

            SHUT UP!

            As someone with a bunch of Koreans in his life, I am so fucking sick of the whole “Hangul is the bestest evah!” nonsense.

          6. Tejicano

            “Sorry ’bout that…. here’s a beer for you…”

          7. Evan from Evansville

            I admit that it was pretty easy to learn, though they do have their quirks (like the quite-rare quadgraphs (right term? word with 4 letters rather than 2 or 3).

            I sometimes wish that I spoke more Korean. I know numbers (the Korean set, not Chinese) very well and food, grammar terms, directions, the basics. But my work actively doesn’t want me to use any of that, and I don’t like talking to strangers even in English.

            It’s very easy to get by here without speaking a lick of Korean. I am upset with friends that don’t even know how to read the bitch though. I don’t understand how they go through their day without being able to go a place, ask how much something costs, order it and make sure that you get it to go, or not knowing how to tell a cabbie how to get home without resorting to a map.

            No, I can’t have an in-depth conversation with someone in Korean, but I don’t really want to. But, yeah, I absolutely can go to non-expat areas and be able to at least get my shit done.

            Ten more working days.

            Also Pope: We’re doing my going-away party/trip in Daegu in mid January. I’ve played shows there and done a tree zipline course there. But I don’t know much about it other than there’s a military base there.

            Any specific ideas? We’re probably just going to be lads about town, but if there’s anything you know of specifically I’d love to hear.

          8. Pope Jimbo

            Evan,

            When I visit Daegu, we hang out at the convenience store one BIL owns or at a nearby village (Nam San) where my MIL has a farm.

            I couldn’t even tell you where they are. I just get in the car and go where they tell me. I think it is pretty far from the base because I never see any other Westerners when I am hanging out there.

            Sorry, but I’m the worst tourist guide ever when it comes to Daegu.

        3. straffinrun

          Probably Evan. Those Chicks have the look you get from being raised by a comfort woman and not a geisha.

        4. Evan from Evansville

          ATTENTION. CLICK ON THIS LINK. I AM NOT JOKING. Q SIGNAL. HM SIGNAL.

          Machicolations!!! . *nerdy inside joke*

          Best thing Korea has ever done.

          Waveya girls dancing for an all-boys middle school. They properly lose their shit.

          Whoever organized this is a god damn genius. I can’t imagine how many fucking tent poles were spontaneously spewing forth their natural goo.

          The kid in front with the orange shirt and blue vest. Literally has lost his mind.

          It. Is. Spectacular.

          1. Evan from Evansville

            Shit. I thought I had the full thing. GODDAMMIT. i just wanted a version with sound…I’m officially working on it.

          2. Evan from Evansville

            This is slightly better.

            I am so disappointed in the secret service myself right now.

          3. straffinrun

            So much better than my high school talent show. Most of those KPop girl bands are run by Kim Jong Uns. Probably have suicide nets outside the studio windows.

          4. Creosote Achilles

            Holy Fucking Shit. Can you imagine the absolute maelstrom of mendacious twattery that would produce from the SJW left if that had happened here?

          5. dorvinion

            Machicolations?

            Shadiversity?

          6. Evan from Evansville

            Hell. Yes.

          7. I don’t know what Waveya is, but I do know there ain’t a damn thing wrong with anything that’s happenin’ in that video. I do wish whoever had the camera was taller, though, because whatever those girls did once they dropped down low made men out of those boys.

          8. Evan from Evansville

            Props to the kids holding the younger/smaller kids on their shoulders.

            That’s gotta be an awkward poke to the back of the neck.

            Shoutout to my obligatory Kpop crush, Mina.

            Yowza.

  6. Suthenboy

    From SP’s article last night since I didn’t post in time:

    Imagine 10,000 years ago a large fire with a whole tribe gathered round at night. The children are all seated together while an old man tells them a story. There is lots of oohing and aaaahing from the children as he waves his arms and uses his hands to make shadows on the nearest hut wall to add to his story telling. Now fast foreword to the middle ages. There is a miniature stage with the old man standing to the side telling a story while little cartoon-like puppets act out the story. Same kids, same oohing, aaaahing and laughing. Fast foreword to the 19th century. A full sized stage with actors telling the story, each one playing a part. Fast foreword to today. You are in your living room with a bowl of popcorn watching…say…Jaws…on your TV. Brody, St. George, whatever you name him is in the fight for his life and the world depends on him.

    Movies are no different really than the old man 10,000 years ago. They are just telling a story with visual aids. It isnt about the rubber fish. It isnt about the unrealistic aspects of any of the visual aids. It is about the story. That is what movies are to me. Does it illustrate the human condition? Does the story define courage or cowardice? Man against man, Man against nature, Man against himself…all of them are about how individuals overcome adversity.

    Good morning everyone.

    1. Pat

      Seven basic plots and all that.

    2. PieInTheSky

      What does this have to do with Bedazzled?

    3. Sensei

      So “Quest for Fire” is your guilty pleasure? 😉

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL. My dad took me to see that on my twelfth birthday. Rae Dawn Chong has a special place in my heart pants for all time.

    4. hate_speech

      This right here is why I get so pissed off at movies. The elements of story-telling are millenia old. So how the fuck are movie studios cranking out formulaic garbage that doesn’t even adhere to the basic elements of the formula!?

      1. Evan from Evansville

        With the rare jester excepted, in days of yore the storyteller wasn’t trying to make money. The old man was either entertaining his grandkids (if he were so lucky) or trying to impart wisdom in an Aesop-esque way that is understandable to the youngins.

        Studios now have to tell a certain story in order to justify massive budgets. A geezer with shadow puppets, performing in front of loved ones don’t have that pressure.

        1. hate_speech

          Maybe true, but the point is that the elements of story-tellling have been worked out well in advance. No R&D required. If you’re just looking to crank out products that will get a return on your huge investment, you stick to the tried and true. Introducing a profit motive shouldn’t incentivize you to make a worse product at higher cost. That just seems backwards.

          Also, it sounds like you might be implying that more traditional story-telling wouldn’t appeal to the masses, but if so, I disagree with that. These styles didn’t survive because people find them uninteresting. And the Lord of the Rings movies, or original Star Wars trilogy are a testament to people’s love for classic story telling.

          1. Evan from Evansville

            I largely agree with you. But I think that most (not all) movies are selling the spectacle rather than the story. Especially with overseas markets being so big now.

            Movies that emphasize story are much smaller and make less money. Inception (hell, almost all of Nolan) being a current exception.

            I’m with you that all these shit movies should have the basics down, but every big movie has to squeeze in demographic aspects into everything which downgrades the actual story. It sucks. But sometimes they get it right.

            Logan, for example, was a fucking bombass movie. I loved it. Studios are so wary of taking a chance that they rarely do so. If I was a producer in charge of $100M+ I’d want to play it safe too.

            Frankly, this has always been the case.

    5. Count Potato

      Tfw, Suthenboy is the redneck Carl Jung.

    6. Danimal

      Well said… This is why I really liked Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, but could never really get into any other superhero movies. The storytelling, dialogue, and acting in Nolan’s films were superb. The visuals and action were excellent, but not over-the-top. Most “superhero” movies are just silly.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    As libertarians i thought we were not supposed to judge people’s sexual preferences…

    Judge? Yes.

    Punish? No.

    I would judge you to be a fool, or worse, if I saw you on your roof, preparing to jump off with an umbrella. I wouldn’t call the cops and have you arrested.

    1. AlexinCT

      What if I asked you to hold my beer and watch? Would you?

      1. Nephilium

        Hold your beer? Sure. There’s no need for you to add wasting beer to the rest of the dumb mistakes you’re about to make.

        1. AlexinCT

          Thanks for making sure I don’t succumb to alcohol abuse by wasting the stuff…

  8. PieInTheSky

    Sometimes twitter people you respect come up with something so incredibly stupid that you don’t know if they’ll ever regain your trust. This is one of those times. Nerds, please address this in the comments. – It seems to be one of those libertarians pretending to be a chick to attract attention. sad.

    1. The Last American Hero

      I just assumed “respect” was a code word for “admired her tits”.

  9. Rebel Scum

    I just read that Christine Ballsy Fraud won the Sports Illustrated “Inspiration of the Year” award. I would be surprised but I recall that a man, Bruce Jenner, recently won “Woman of the Year”. Though I would think that a sports mag would, you know, stick to sports figures and be apolitical. But what do I know?

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      She presented the award, did not win it.

      1. DOOMco

        Is that really better?

        1. Certified Public Asshat

          Slightly yes.

      2. Rebel Scum

        Oh, guess I misread.

      3. Pope Jimbo

        Are you sure she didn’t win it for wrestling?

        She was a pioneer in the sport! The first woman to wrestle boys 30+ years ago. In her testimony she said she was wearing a one piece suit which is exactly the uniform required of other wrestlers.

    2. Drake

      I would love to see a graph of SI’s historical subscription volume.

  10. Not Adahn

    Best response to the Dumbledore thing:

    “I’m torn between seriously explaining why this is as wrong as pants on a trout and realizing this is the internet and you have a penchant for pushing people’s buttons.”

  11. AlexinCT

    Color me totally unsurprised to find out that the dnc operatives with byline’s latest story claiming that Trump is too stupid to listen to the US intel machine is another fake-news story. From the article:

    Fred Fleitz, a former chief of staff for the Trump White House National Security Council, gave the Washington Post’s Greg Miller an on-the-record interview for the article. Fleitz decried on Twitter what he called a “very misleading fake news piece” and “bad journalism.”

    “He ignored most of what I told him in an on-the-record interview and misrepresented the few quotes from me that he used,” Fleitz, a former CIA analyst, wrote.

    Emphasis mine, but it seems we have reporters that come away not just with a different story they want to report on than what is going on, but are willing to ignore the facts and real interview in order to write pro-dnc, anti-Trump propaganda.

    1. tarran

      Anyone who is stupid enough to give an interview to a journalist deserves deserves everything they get.

      At some point an act is so stupid and reckless that your victimization is your fault too. It’s like walking into a syrian refugee camp with a large star-of-david tattooed to your forehead.

      1. AlexinCT

        So you recommend that when asked for an interview smart people tell them that they just write their fiction on their own.

        1. tarran

          The simplest thing to do is to smile, pleasantly say “no comment” and move on.

          1. AlexinCT

            They will then quote “an anonymous source” to say what they wanted to hear you say so they could make the article fit the narrative.

          2. MikeS

            “A person familiar with Alex’s thinking said it’s not impossible that Alex might like to fuck goats.”

          3. AlexinCT

            I am more of a fan of pigs…

          4. tarran

            Of course…. but that’s not my problem.

            Let them tell their lies. Let other people listen to their lies.

            Just don’t participate. Ignore their output. Don’t assist them with input. Just live your life.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Anyone who gives an interview without recording it for their own protection is a fool.

  12. Pat

    West Yarmouth man shoots pit bull to death after dog attacks him

    A West Yarmouth man was forced to shoot and kill a pit bull he was fostering Sunday night after the dog viciously attacked him, sending him to the hospital with serious arm injuries, police said.

    The 25-year-old man was allegedly lying in bed with his girlfriend and the pit bull, Max, who he recently began fostering, in their new home on Woodbine Avenue when the dog attacked around 6 p.m. The man had tried to move the pit bull, but the dog reacted by biting him on the left arm. The man tried to get the dog to release, but it refused, Yarmouth police said in a statement.

    In a desperate attempt to end the attack, the man reached for a 9mm handgun he had in his nightstand and shot the dog, police said.[…]

    Police took the man’s handgun, a 12-gauge shotgun, and ammunition found in the home “for safekeeping.”

    1. AlexinCT

      And he will be sentenced to “Pound-me-in-the-ass-prison” for owning a fire arm and shooting a dog the cops were hoping to get a crack at…

    2. Suthenboy

      He lives in MA, what did he expect? I will never set foot in that state under any circumstances.

      1. FOS

        Agreed. I’ll only go to Mass. To take a big shit.p

      2. tarran

        There’s a part of me that wants to anonymously write an editorial and send it to the Boston Globe demanding that the April 19th festivities in Concord and Lexington be stopped since they glorify gun violence.

        My fear is that instead of people saying “WTF!?! How did we get here?!?” that people will instead say “what a great idea!” and make it happen.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Filed under ‘Did not produce desired outcome’.

          In defending the removal of statues commemorating former Prime Ministers in Victoria, one dope wrote ‘If someone comes to my house and is offended by something, I remove it’.

          1. MikeS

            The only way that makes any sense is if “it” means the offended person.

          2. straffinrun

            Or his dick.

          3. Rufus the Monocled

            Either way, it’s faux-righteous bull shit.

    3. leon

      Don’t want him surviving the next attack.

    4. Rebel Scum

      Police took the man’s handgun, a 12-gauge shotgun, and ammunition found in the home “for safekeeping.”

      How is this even remotely legal? It’s not like these items are evidence in a criminal investigation.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Police took the man’s handgun, a 12-gauge shotgun, and ammunition found in the home “for safekeeping.”

    Of course they did.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      You want hysterical gun reporting? Here’s your hysterical gun reporting:

      Here’s your hysterical gun reporting:

      Community college kid doesn’t like his grade so he punches two teachers. Bad story. But the digest I read about it totally fixated on the following line of the story:

      When he was arrested, police say they found a handgun in his backpack.

      Gun was never used in the crime. I guess the journalo was worried it might have been a cop gun and thus likely to go off on its own at any time.

      1. Rebel Scum

        That’s like saying it’s a ‘school shooting’ because the resource officer had a negligent discharge, or it was an ‘alcohol related crash’ because there was a 6-pack in the trunk.

      2. Spartacus

        So did they change his grade?

  14. AlexinCT

    It looks like proggies have finally found a tax they won’t get behind……

    Am I evil for praying that California does this and then gives an exemption on the tax to illegal aliens?

    1. Pat

      Give us dick pics or give us death!

    2. Suthenboy

      They are getting what they voted for. Fuck ’em.

    3. leon

      “This is how conversations take place in this day and age, and it’s almost like saying there should be a tax on the conversations we have.”

      Still not as dumb as the ‘Tax’ that is for existing aka healthcare mandate.

      1. Rebel Scum

        Remember that this is a state (or maybe I am thinking of a locality in the state) in which you can’t park such that your license plate cannot be seen from the street even though you don’t have to have a license plate if the care is on private property and not on the state road.

    4. invisible finger

      Hard to believe they aren’t already taxing phone service.

      1. SugarFree

        They do but aren’t making enough money, Hence the texting tax.

    5. Rebel Scum

      California will tax anything, and to prove it they are looking at taxing text messages to help pay for cell phone service for poor folks.

      What happened to Obamaphones? And I can’t be bothered to read to find out how they intend to tax text messages, but if I were a citizen there I would be (figuratively…) up in arms over this.

  15. Pope Jimbo

    I may need to rethink my plans to go fishing this weekend. Of course I don’t have a fancy ATV to drive out on the ice.

    For any of you Glibs who do go out on the ice, remember to use ice claws. It sort of sounds like they might have saved one of those guys.

    1. PieInTheSky

      Or just send your orphans on the ice if there is some reason to

      Not being used to a place of frozen lakes I would not drive on ice

      1. Nephilium

        Lake Erie hasn’t frozen over the past couple of years, so a local bike shop hasn’t been able to hold an event biking across the lake to Put-In-Bay. I blame global warming.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        The one time my Korean mother-in-law visited, my wife wanted to show her how ice fishing worked, so we drove out on the ice and I drilled a few holes.

        As soon as the MIL saw the water she asked my wife what the deal was. When it was explained that we were on a lake she instantly demanded to be brought back to shore. In fact, she walked to shore and I had to drive around and pick her up on land.

        She definitely did not believe me when I tried to tell her that there was so much ice on the lake a train could drive over it. Of course, why should she listen to anyone dumb enough to marry her daughter?

        1. Tejicano

          Asian parents can never see their children, and by extension their children’s spouses, as adults. You will always be a child in her eyes.

        2. straffinrun

          They don’t ice fish in Korea? She must be a city gal.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            Farmer, but I don’t think it gets cold enough to drive on the ice around Daegu.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Those will work nice when someone tries to creep in to start working your hole.

      Shank ’em with an ice claw.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        start working your hole

        So rename them Weinstein Claws?

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Which is way better than Weinstein Claus. He cums down your chimney.

    3. Fourscore

      “Of course I don’t have a fancy ATV to drive out on the ice”

      Then you’ll have to take the snowmobile. State law: Any vehicle sold in MN in the summer must have a boat attached. In the winter a snowmobile.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        I’ve never owned a snowmobile.

        For every one person I’ve known who used one responsibly, I’ve known 5000 who use them as gas powered DUI death machines. Way too many stories like this every year.

        I’m no friend of MAAD, but snowmobiles seem to bring out the absolute worst in people.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          A few years ago some friends and I were heading to Boyne Mtn for new years. We were going about 70mph on the highway when a guy on a snowmobile blew past us on the trail a ways off the road. Those dudes are insande and/or drunk.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            A rancher I know in western NoDak lost his son and daughter-in-law that way. They were driving home out in the country one night and hit a culvert and went tumbling. Both were pretty damaged and it wasn’t possible to tell if the crash killed them or the cold did as they lay there.

      2. The Last American Hero

        At what point did snowmobiles start getting called “snow machines”? 40 years of calling them snowmobiles and now every time I see one on TV, they refer to it as a snow machine. Did the handicap snowmobile lobby complain or something?

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Still snowmobiles here in Minnesoda.

          1. MikeS

            Snowcat is the proper term

          2. The Bearded Hobbit

            I remember them as “Ski-doo”s.

    4. pistoffnick

      My 7th grade English teacher drove his brand new truck through the ice on Lake Pepin. It cost him a lot of money to extract it.

    5. Stillhunter

      Darwin award alert. Those side by sides are as bad as trucks for the psi. Probably a (literal) ton of weight on a small footprint. Get out of the damn thing and look around. No such thing as safe ice.

  16. Rebel Scum

    Theresa May survived her no-confidence vote and will now seek a lifeline from EU leaders in order to save the shitty Brexit she negotiated.

    I heard part of her statement where she said that she was going to attempt to negotiate a better deal. I, of course, do not believe her for a variety of reasons. But that aside, I don’t even know what there is to negotiate*. Tell the EU to fuck off and go about your merry way. They have friends in the form of the US so I don’t see what the deal is. The Brits used to be proud. Now they are pansies.

    * I acknowledge that she is a closeted “remainer” which guides her “negotiations”.

    1. straffinrun

      She is going to get exactly what she didn’t want in the first place (a hard exit) because of her desire to protect crony markets in the EU and The UK. It’s kind of poetic. The no confidence voted weakened the hell out of her position.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Brits are cucking so hard they’ll watch their teenage and preteen daughters prostituted so as not to rock the boat. Britain’s a dead letter.

      1. prolefeed

        Umm, enough of the PMs stood up to a bad deal and essentially said, “Why the fuck should we grovel and make concessions and pay money to get out of a union we don’t want to be in, when giving them nothing still gets us out of the union?”

        This is not cucking.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I was being flip, but their problems are far greater than hanging on to Brexit by threads. Am I right in assuming the no-confidence vote failed out of fear that it hands the office to Corbyn and his allies? That commie antisemite Corbyn is considered a threat is a big red flag.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    What if I asked you to hold my beer and watch? Would you?

    Hell, yeah.

  18. Pat

    Climate change: Failure to tackle warming ‘suicidal’

    The UN secretary-general has warned negotiators at a major meeting that failing to increase efforts on climate change would be “not only immoral but suicidal” for the planet.

    Antonio Guterres has flown back to Poland to try and push COP24 to a successful conclusion.

    At the UN talks, a group of countries have said they will enhance their climate plans before 2020.

    The EU and others say they are responding to the urgency of science.

    Some observers believe that the return of Mr Guterres to these talks is a sign that significant progress is not being made.

    In his remarks to the conference, he underlined that fact, imploring the delegates to speed up the pace of negotiations and to be open to compromise.

    He said that key political issues here in Poland remain unresolved.

    “To waste this opportunity would compromise our last best chance to stop runaway climate change,” Mr Guterres said. “It would not only be immoral, it would be suicidal.”

    1. leon

      It’s alright though, i heard suicide is painless

    2. AlexinCT

      Only way to get global marxism going is to scare people into it, I guess.

    3. PieInTheSky

      You know what lets get those molten salt reactors on line, just in case.

      Also burning coal for energy for an advanced civilization is lame.

    4. Antonio Guterres has flown back to Poland to try and push COP24 to a successful conclusion.

      If he cared about cutting emissions, wouldn’t he have held a teleconference in the first place?

      1. AlexinCT

        You ingrate!

        The elite are not expected to give up their jet setting life, just us deplorables…

    5. “the urgency of science”

      I forget who they opened for at the Aragon Ballroom, in 2009…but they were awesome.

    1. DOOMco

      I swear to God I’m moving.

      Oh I didn’t grab the other link from them.
      https://m.sevendaysvt.com/OffMessage/archives/2018/12/12/burlington-city-councilor-accuses-other-members-of-racism#CommentsMobile

      Burlington: known racist hotspot.
      I love the strategy coming back on them all.

    2. Pat

      Razor blades are available at every 24 hour drug store, so…

    3. leon

      “48-hour waiting period before purchasing a firearm”

      I think it’s funny that this is a great idea on how to stop suicides (it isn’t), but letting teachers carry if they so desire is a bad way to stop shooters (it is a good idea).

      1. DOOMco

        48 hour waiting period for buying or renting cars. Getting abortions, too. Let’s make that a week.

        He’s in his 20s. Killing yourself is shitty. But it’s your body and life.
        These same people want assisted suicide to be ok.
        And what happens when the guys goes through it and waits the 48, killing himself ok hour 50? Do we just extend it next year?

        1. invisible finger

          Suicide is dandy as long as a government gatekeeper third party gets a cut.

        2. leon

          In the end it’s not about suicide, it’s about the evil black object.

          1. DOOMco

            Yep. They want it gone here.

            Fucking fucks.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Meanwhile, gun violence is on the decline but let’s still push it.

    5. Rebel Scum

      In the wake of a young Vermonter’s suicide, Sen. Phil Baruth (D/P-Chittenden) said he will introduce a package of gun-safety measures in the 2019 legislative session that include a mandatory 48-hour waiting period before purchasing a firearm.

      They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means. And a waiting period is a clear 2A violation*. The Vermont Constitutions is pretty clear on this as well, if I remember correctly.

      *Yes I know they exist all over the country anyway.

      1. DOOMco

        Our constitution is very clear, and last year’s laws are also (imo) unconstitutional.

    6. DOOMco

      Who the f disliked my comment?
      Fucking busy bodies.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    If May survived that “vote of confidence” what does that say about the depth and quality of leadership in the Tory Party?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That they’re almost ready to graduate from primary school?

    2. SoberPhobic

      Time for a new “vote of confidence”?

      1. Rebel Scum

        Vote early, often and until you get the desired result.

    3. prolefeed

      It was a “we’ll let you go on pratting on for a bit while we figure out who we want as your replacement, but you’re gonna retire before the next election and your Brexit ‘deal’ is dead in the water” sort of confidence.

      I’d say they did pretty damn well.

  20. invisible finger

    That pissing from the bus story…Call me what you want but I actually don’t blame the driver in that particular case.

    There were no riders. The bus had a service issue and the CTA was taking a long time bringing another bus. He’s not allowed to walk away from his bus in that situation. So where the fuck is he going to go? And the media likes to pretend that there’s no reason to fear for your safety in some of those neighborhoods, daily homicides notwithstanding. The CTA knows this, which is why the “punishment” was so light as to be non-existent.

    1. Yeah — I thought it was a nothingburger, too.

    1. AlexinCT

      Of course, it could also be this sort of shit

    2. hate_speech

      I work at a place where we design systems that use industrial robots. Those things are huge, and I’m always a little nervous around them. They probably weigh like 1,000 lbs, and if there’s a failure in the E-Stop (unlikely but possible), it’s just going to drop to the floor. Also our safety practices are a nightmare and I’m worried somebody is going to plow one of those robots into me. As my boss put it: That robot is going to get to the target location, whether your head is in the way or not.

    3. straffinrun

      Ooof. Can’t believe he lived through that.

    4. Evan from Evansville

      Who is the pic in your handle? I’ve wondered for a long time.

      I don’t see terribly well, but I refuse to believe that you could possibly as perfectly oldish-but-not-yet-out-of-the-game rugged handsome as that man appears to be.

      It could be a lovechild of Hugh Jackman and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I’m not yet sure which of them gave birth.

      1. Pat

        It’s the replacement Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World guy.

        1. R C Dean

          So, the second most interesting man in the world?

          1. AlexinCT

            HERETIC!

            I AM the most exciting man in the world…

          2. The Last American Hero

            No. The Most Interesting Man in the World flew away on a rocket ship in his grand finale, so the current guy is technically the most Interesting Man in the World.

            By the way, how they hell they never turned that into a major motion picture is beyond me.

    5. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Owwwwww……..

    6. commodious spittoon

      Fuck me, I clicked wanting to see this monster robot, not its victim.

  21. DOOMco

    Good news everyone! It was -5 when I turned my car on.
    Drove halfway to work and my belt tensioner failed. Alternator didn’t spin, and the car died 250 feet from the parking lot.
    Hoping it warms up enough to tighten the belt back that afternoon.

    At least it’s that and not the more classic ej bearing spin.

    1. AlexinCT

      Yikes…

    2. Pope Jimbo

      belt tensioner

      For those of us who are mechanically declined, is that a fancy word for too much beer, not enough exercise?

      1. DOOMco

        It does seem appropriate, reading that again.
        Just didn’t need it today.

    3. commodious spittoon

      -5

      Man is not meant to live like this.

      1. The Last American Hero

        Don’t worry, it’s weather, not climate.

      2. Count Potato

        Holy fuck, that’s cold.

        1. prolefeed

          I still don’t understand how any place that gets down to -5F has any significant population.

          -5C, sure.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            We visit Oahu every few years. Usually in January.

            A few trips ago, we got there a week after Honolulu set some cold temperature record (52 if I remember correctly) and all the locals would instantly start commiserating with us once they heard we were from Minnesoda.

            “Hey brah, we totally get how winter sucks now!”

            Then we would tell them it was -15F when we left to visit. After that they would suck because we stepped on their fantasy of being a step removed from going full Donner Party.

      3. Spartacus

        I feel ya. It was like 46 here yesterday morning. I almost got frostbite getting from the car to the office.
        Right now it’s 79 and sunny.

  22. Pat

    A college kid running for 13th Ward alderman gets a lesson in the Chicago Way

    It’s overkill of epic proportions, like using a sledgehammer to kill a gnat, or firing off a nuclear weapon to kill a sparrow. A Southwest Side David vs. Goliath story.

    The David is David Krupa, 19, a freshman at DePaul University who drives a forklift part time. He’s not a political powerhouse. He’s just a conservative Southwest Side teenager studying political science and economics who got it in his head to run for alderman in a race that pits him against the most powerful ward organization in Chicago.

    The Goliath is the 13th Ward Democratic Organization run by House Speaker Michael J. Madigan, aka Boss Madigan, the most powerful politician in the state. Boss Madigan has long hand-picked his aldermen. He likes them loyal and quiet. The current silent alderman of the 13th Ward is Marty Quinn.[…]

    To get on the ballot, Krupa was required to file 473 valid signatures of ward residents with the Chicago Board of Elections. Krupa filed 1,703 signatures.

    But before he filed his signatures with the elections board, an amazing thing happened along the Chicago Way.

    An organized crew of political workers — or maybe just civic-minded individuals who care about reform — went door to door with official legal papers. They asked residents to sign an affadavit revoking their signature on Krupa’s petition.[…]

    More than 2,700 revocations were turned over to the elections board to cancel the signatures on Krupa’s petitions. Chicago Board of Elections officials had never seen such a massive pile of revocations.

    “The board has received a few revocations here and there in very rare electoral board cases over the years,” said election board spokesman Jim Allen.

    But more than 2,700? Impossible, no?

    “They’re pretty rare, and no one can remember anything approaching this volume of filings in past cases,” Allen said.

    1. PieInTheSky

      Political machine Democrats know what is best for the people, they cannot let some kid derail utopia

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

      Obama learned everything he needed to know about how to govern from Chicago and Illinois.

      1. Rebel Scum

        Do you know what other slimy, conniving, manipulative machine politician was from Illinois?

    3. leon

      Kid shoulda spouted socialist nonsense and he’d have been good.

      1. The Last American Hero

        It’s not about Team, as there’s no way a conservative would win that seat, it’s about power.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Rotten to its core.

      There’s no way in hell Obama didn’t learn dirty tricks. It’s about as unlikely as him not listening to Rev. Wright’s fiery sermons for 20 years.

    5. AlexinCT

      Government picking winners & losers 101: never go up against the establishment types unless the establishment has picked you to do that.

    6. Rebel Scum

      Curious how they got double the revocations to signatures the kid got. Also curious how Democrat-heavy districts tally 120% of eligible voters.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        There is no voter fraud, Hitler! Why are you trying to suppress voters?

      2. prolefeed

        I’m guessing they didn’t know who had signed the petitions at that point, so they followed the kid around and “asked” everyone on those streets to revoke the petition.

        How the fuck is anyone craven enough to not tell someone else to go to hell for demanding that you revoke your support for an alternative on the ballot?

      3. Mojeaux

        “Nice life you got here. Be awful if something happened to it … ”

    7. creech

      Pretty mild actually. Decades ago, the Democratic machine in Berks County, PA had the mayor’s primary opponent committed to an insane asylum before the primary. Naturally, doctors found he was perfectly sane… right after he was defeated in the election.

  23. Certified Public Asshat

    Deadspin comes around on wealth taxes

    But baseball teams, even the most expensive and most talented ones, are not trying to be the best they can be, and for that, blame MLB’s Competitive Balance Tax, which has one hell of an Orwellian name. (“Legalized collusion” would be a more accurate one.) As nicely spelled out here, it’s a salary cap, despite the name. If it weren’t, why would two of the three teams who were over the luxury tax threshold last year have fought so hard (and successfully) to get under it this year? Why would only two teams out of 30 be projected to be over it in 2019?

    Well, they almost get it. But probably not.

    1. Baseball is a closed system and not a free market so I really don’t care how redistribution-y MLB gets.

      1. robc

        And their PrivSec union approved the system.

  24. nw

    “Mike Carroll, 57, always wondered what happened to his father, Korean War veteran George Carroll,
    who disappeared in 60 years ago in 1961, when Mike was just eight months old.”

    A 57 year old man’s father disappeared 60 years ago? Ok, I realize they’re
    rounding, but to the decade? Furrfu.

    1. AlexinCT

      The ghost did it….

  25. The Late P Brooks

    belt tensioner failed. Alternator didn’t spin

    WhAt about the water pump?

    I had something, briefly, a Nissan, I think, with the oil pump driven by the timing belt. That’s some bold engineering, right there.

    1. DOOMco

      Water pump is off the main timing belt/chain inside. I lost power steering and the alternator. The AC is on that loop too, but I don’t think o need that as much right now.

    2. The Last American Hero

      I broke 2 tensioners on my old car once. There was a very fine line between not enough tension and way to much.

  26. Nephilium

    We really need to take the word anarchy back. There’s a punk fest coming to mid-Ohio called Camp Anarchy. If you decide to camp there, the following rules apply:

    Can I bring food, beverages and a cooler to the campgrounds?
    Feel free to bring your own food and a cooler to your campsite. ONE (1) case of beer cans will be allowed PER VEHICLE. (absolutely no glass bottles or liquor will be allowed into the campgrounds.) Feel free to bring bottled water/soda (sealed) No glass is allowed whatsoever.

    Are campfires allowed?

    No. Campfires, fire pits, fire cages or any other open flame device will not be permitted anywhere on the festival site.

    So, 1 case of beer per vehicle (which has to stay on the premises), and no campfire. Why the fuck would I want to camp there? Thankfully there’s some hotels about 15 minutes away. I know it’s all for liability reasons, but still…

    1. Pat

      Listen, just because we’re anarchists doesn’t mean we can’t have some reasonable rules and restrictions.

    2. PieInTheSky

      why would anyone go to a punk festival?

      1. Nephilium

        Because they like punk music and beer? The band lineup is solid, though tending towards mid-90’s stuff: Offspring, Rancid, Pennywise, Suicide Machines, NOFX (libertarian punk band!), Bad Religion, Less Than Jake, etc…

        The beer sponsors they have on now are solid, but I’m willing to bet that Stone brewing won’t be involved.

        1. Pat

          I don’t know about the rest of the band, but everything I’ve ever heard from Fat Mike regarding politics was pretty standard mainstream left Bushitler stuff.

          1. Nephilium

            The Plan:

            Call it libertarian, cause we do as we please
            Don’t need fear, or force or farce to know morality
            Cuz morals aren’t substance you can shove in someone’s ear
            They’re basically a bi-product of a mind thinking clear

            Now, that song did come out back in 1999, so it’s possible they’ve “evolved”.

          2. Pat

            I mean, a pretty fair number of libertarians were on the whole Bushitler bandwagon too, and I’m not any kind of scholar on NOFX. I just remembered a few snippets from back then when everyone was doing the whole anti-war peacenik LARPing thing and it all became kind of indistinguishable after a while.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Fuck Bush. That “compassionate conservative” asshole who got us into multi-decade wars for nothing and expanded the federal government far beyond what it had ever been before. May he and his apparatchiks rot in Hell.

          4. Pat

            I don’t have any fondness for Bush, but the hysterical bullshit at the time was just like the #Resistance thing now, and rang especially hollow once the exact same people who spent 8 years perpetually hyperventilating started vociferously defending all of the same policies 5 minutes after Obama was elected. If there were any sincere anti-war leftists or principled opponents of executive power at the time they were few and far between and disappeared into the ether as soon as they outlived their media utility. It was like an 8 year long Rage Against the Machine concert.

          5. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I don’t disagree. My loathing for the man and his policies continues unabated. His chocolate doppelganger was even worse.

        2. PBRstreetgang

          “X” is playing? I’d consider on that basis alone.

          1. Chipwooder

            Billy Zoom is the man. Love his style.

        3. Private Chipperbot

          I wish Bad Religion wasn’t so batshit left wing. I love their music.

    3. egould310

      That sounds awful. Not very anarchy.

    4. straffinrun

      They are measuring how much beer I can bring. I was told there would be no rulers.

    5. Tejicano

      Do I need to say it?

      …common sense anarchy…

  27. Rebel Scum

    Apparently you can even take a shit in a plastic bag and not get fired.

    Better a paper bag and light it on fire.

  28. Pat

    California man freed after two days trapped in restaurant grease vent

    A man has been rescued after spending two days trapped in a grease vent at a vacant Chinese restaurant in California, police say.

    Emergency crews responded to reports of “a faint voice calling for help” from the building in the San Francisco area.

    The man was said to have been exhausted and suffering from dehydration, but he is expected to make a full recovery.

    Police say he may have been trespassing, but it is unclear whether the incident was a burglary attempt.

    1. AlexinCT

      He just had the munchies, wanted him some sweet & sour chicken meow, and refused to be deterred by the sign saying the place was closed.

    2. pistoffnick

      The man was said to have been exhausted

      Exhausted…good one.

  29. Rufus the Monocled

    People who claim to be nerds aren’t nerds.

    Bet you she was semi or full popular in school.

    We have a full blown:

    -Narcissist crisis
    -Single mother hood crisis
    -Nerd crisis

    1. PieInTheSky

      I say we round up these fake nerds and shove there head in a toilet

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        WEDGY!

        1. straffinrun

          Swirly. Unless you Canucks are more evil than I thought.

    1. Pat

      A crazy person on the New York subway. Annnnnnd, it’s Trump’s fault.

    2. leon

      Didn’t watch the sound, but the guys facial expressions are hilarious.

      But why did no one try to deescalate the situation?

      1. AlexinCT

        Didn’t watch the sound

        You have this power naturally, or by use of tech?

        1. leon

          It’s a curse really.

    3. Slammer

      “white privilege” “Trump voter”.

      We don’t see what led up to this woman hitting the chinese lady, not that it matters..it’s clearly assault.

      But if calling her a chink and implying she voted for Trump is what bugs you, not the assault, then you’re an asshole, too

  30. Slammer

    I guess I’ll watch the The House Oversight Government Operations Subcommittee hearings on the Clinton Foundation today. I don’t expect anything to happen, nothing does.

    Clinton Whistleblowers: Thursday’s Public Hearing to Reveal “Explosive” Information

    A trove of documents on the Clinton Foundation alleging possible pay for play and tax evasion have been turned over to the FBI and IRS by several investigative whistleblowers, who will be testifying in an open hearing before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Thursday, according to the committee and lawmakers.

    …a former whistleblower, who has spoken with agents from the Little Rock FBI field office last year and worked for years as an undercover informant collecting information on Russia’s nuclear energy industry for the bureau, noted his enormous frustration with the DOJ and FBI. He describes as a two-tiered justice system that failed to actively investigate the information he provided years ago on the Clinton Foundation and Russia’s dangerous meddling with the U.S. nuclear industry and energy industry during the Obama administration.

    William D. Campbell’s story was first published by this reporter in 2017. He turned over more than 5,000 documents and detailed daily briefs to the bureau when he served as a confidential informant reporting on Russia’s nuclear giant Rosatom. Campbell worked as an energy consultant, gaining the trust of Russians and providing significant insight into Russia’s strategic plans to gain global dominance in the uranium industry. He reported on Russian’s intentions to build a closer relationship with Obama administration officials, to include then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, as reported. The documents he turned over to the DOJ, which were reviewed by this news site, showed Campbell had also provided highly sensitive information both related to the uranium case, as well as other intelligence matters, since 2006.

    1. leon

      That guy? He’s clearly a criminal. Why else would the DOJ raid his house?

    2. Rebel Scum

      possible pay for play and tax evasion

      “Possible”

  31. leon

    So I was thinking about She Gevara and how some in the left are pushing the idea that we need more young people in government. Now I’m a young guy (27) so I think it’s fair to day that this is stupid, and for the very reasons OC demonstrates. Many young people still think that they have found the secret answer. Especially in this day and age where historical knowledge is so rare.

    For example I doubt that OC even knows that the late Roman empire also faces migrant crises. And that the French had issues with ‘migrants’ demanding payment to leave. But that won’t stop her from trying to use her old ‘new’ ideas.

    1. Pat

      I mean… to a certain extent, the very idea that a 30 year old grown ass woman is considered a “young person” is because of how infantilized this generation is (myself included). By the time you’re that age you shouldn’t be acting like a sniveling overprivileged prep school sophomore. Alexander Hamilton was 30 when he was elected to the constitutional convention. Half a dozen other delegates were in their 20s. James Madison was in his mid 30s at the time and contributed most of the intellectual heavy lifting. There’s no excuse for being a no nothing sack of a shit waiting tables with an economics degree at 30.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        When fully a quarter or more of the people you grew up with were dead by the time they hit age 30, it tends to have a sobering effect on you.

        1. Pat

          That’s part of it, but even until relatively recently in history you were expected to grow up a lot sooner. My grandparents at 30 were a lot more mature than my parents at 30, and my parents were arguably more mature at 30 than I was.

        2. dorvinion

          Life expectancy numbers as usually reported factor in infant and child mortality which of course was high.

          Make it to age 10 and you likely had a fairly long life. Probably not into the 80s, but certainly well into your 50s or 60s

          1. leon

            https://ourworldindata.org/life-expectancy

            At age 5 life expectancy was 50 years, at 50 it was 70 years.

          2. creech

            There are lots of cases of seriously wounded Civil War soldiers surviving 50 years or more
            with infected, never healing wounds.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Well that’s just horrible.

      2. leon

        Very fair point. I’ve been fairly responsible in my life which I think shows professionally. A 27 year old may be young, but shouldn’t be an ignorant child. Freaking Alexander the great was 33 when he died.

        1. AlexinCT

          I suspect that those in your generation that actually have decided to be mature are not very well liked by a large swat of your peers. Especially those that want equality of outcome uber alles.

      3. AlexinCT

        Unfortunately for western society, the success it has had and the wealth it has generated has not only allowed too many people to simply ignore common sense and engage in all manner of idiocy, but has so completely disassociated people from the consequences of bad decisions that had they been made but a century ago, meant certain death. That is why we have people in age groups that a mere generation ago would have been considered adults, and expected to act as such, throwing childish tantrums and demanding the world conform to their idea of la-la-land, and getting away with it. This shit never ends well for any society when the pendulum swings that way.

    2. DOOMco

      Same age!
      High-five gif

      I don’t want someone our age in charge, even if it’s one of us.
      But some of the people our age amaze me in the shit they say and think.

      1. Pat

        I think trshmnstr is approximately my age, as are a couple of other mid-career professionals on here, which makes me feel like an abject piece of shit, quite honestly. But even as much of my life as I’ve wasted on idiotic frivolity, I’m not asking anyone else to subsidize it, and I’m confident I would make a better overlord than at least 9/10 of the people in congress.

      2. Desk Jockey

        You guys are old (24).

        Sometimes I consider who I would rather have running for office. The rednecks I went to high school with, or the progs I went to college with. Then I consider what alcohol will quickest drive the thought from my brain.

    3. SugarFree

      It really has nothing to do with her age. I was less of an idiot than her at 15.

      She is the product of an intense echo chamber, a chorus of voices telling her that she was smart and accomplished no matter what she did and never correcting her or contradicting her out of the misguided fear that her “self-esteem” might be damaged. She is the perfect imperfect product of her place and time, a useless person excelling in a useless microculture of prideful stupidity.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        There’s no excuse for her – or anybody else for that matter – ignorance. At 15 I had already read ‘All quiet on the Western Front’.

        I doubt she even heard of it.

        The people who voted for her. Them I hold in very low regard.

        She’s unbelievable.

        1. prolefeed

          She basically got elected by 15,897 people who voted for her in the primary, in a congressional district that would have around 735,000 citizens. Anyone who thinks that Representatives actually represent the median voter in a district doesn’t understand how many people have checked out of the notion that their vote counts.

          1. prolefeed

            That’s 2% of the citizens in that district deciding who “represents” them. Even accounting for underage kids not eligible to vote, that’s maybe 4% of the adults.

      2. R C Dean

        Its not that she’s young, so much as that she’s immature (and ignorant, but part of being immature is the lack of humility to even realize that you might not know everything).

  32. PieInTheSky

    And because it has been a loong time since I looked at what my favorite idiot webcomic author is saying on the twits

    I love the “communism won’t work because people are naturally greedy” line, because if people were really so greedy we would have guillotined the rich and taken their hoarded wealth long ago.

    https://twitter.com/existentialcoms/status/1072972876855173120

    the answers do not disapoint

    1. PieInTheSky

      Also

      Remember, as technological advanced come, GDP per capita increases every year. If your standard of living isn’t improving, someone is stealing your share of the improvements.

      and

      The fact that people think the free market can better handle insurance makes me wonder what people think insurance even is. It’s just a pool where we put our money to mitigate risk. No one can “innovate” it to be cheaper, unless the innovation is ripping people off.

      lol

      1. leon

        “No one can “innovate” it to be cheaper”

        Actuaries would have a sad, but they are too busy being rich to give a shit what this guy says.

        1. AlexinCT

          So would technologists, people that re-imagine cumbersome and antiquated processes that are costly and bloated, and people using AI to help computers learn from massive amounts of data how to provide a better product at a more reasonable price.

          Then again, marxists really never care about any of this shit other than where their free shit comes from, so we shouldn’t expect them to have a grasp on reality of any kind.

    2. Pat

      Nate Upham
      ‏ @n8_upham
      16h16 hours ago
      Replying to @existentialcoms @leuavila

      Also, note that communism has been in place, reasonably successfully, in the Kerala state of India since 1947 (minus a few years in the mid 2010s). Little told story

      Yeah… certainly no hiccups in the Indian experiment with communism.

      Jesus fuck.

      1. “Flint Water System Apologist”

        Fun story about India, in the 70’s when all the rage was “peak population”, the government of Indira Gandhi literally kidnapped and forcibly sterilized the poor in that country thanks to generous funds provided by the West and the United Nations. That’s socialism in a nutshell: the individual is sacrificed for the whole.

        https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-30040790

        1. AlexinCT

          I have worked with many Indians, and quite a few admitted they felt the worse thing that happened to India was the acceptance of communist system, because it allowed the elite class to use it to basically maintain a class system (as they were pushed to abandon their old cast system) as well as keep the massive level of corruption that permeates their society going and undermining growth & progress. You should hear the shit they have to go through – paying bribes and far worse – to be allowed to get permission for stuff we here take for granted.

          1. “Flint Water System Apologist”

            “because it allowed the elite class to use it to basically maintain a class system”

            Which explains exactly why socialism is most popular with the wealthy and far less accepted among the working class.

          2. AlexinCT

            Collectivism, requires and always will end producing a 2 class system. The top men that own everything and do so because they hold all the power, and the miserable serfs/plebes, because misery is the one equality of outcome that always can and will be delivered by the people peddling that requirement.

            It is not accidental that under capitalism those that manage to build great wealth also will get power, but that only the powerful can get wealthy under collectivism.

          3. commodious spittoon

            The people pushing for socialism are ignorant twits, but I don’t think even they are blind to the inevitable class system. Who knows whether they truly believe they’re bound to enjoy a sinecure in the politburo; I suspect they’re driven more by the thought of seeing the current crop of producers crushed under the boot and forced into the class of proles. They’d prefer being poor amidst desolation to being mediocre in affluence, just so long as their employers and landlords and more successful friends and sibling are knocked back.

          4. Mojeaux

            I don’t think even they are blind to the inevitable class system.

            Feature, not bug.

            They believe they will be the ruling elite because they are smarter and deserve it.

            Everybody else is a People of Walmart and deserve their subjugation for being gross and deplorable.

          5. R C Dean

            Collectivism, requires and always will end producing a 2 class system.

            Indeed. Collectivism requires a group identity, an “us”, which in turn requires a “them”.

            Marxism and its spawn have always been about putting in place a system where the “intellectuals” are in charge. No wonder academics are so enamored with it.

      2. AlexinCT

        Why do you want to harsh their delusion by demanding they actually deal with reality, Pat? That is not very woke of you…

  33. PieInTheSky

    “I Now Understand How Nelson Mandela Felt”
    written by Titania McGrath

    https://quillette.com/2018/12/13/i-now-understand-how-nelson-mandela-felt/

    1. straffinrun

      Ha-ha! *Points*. Also, when did Quillette start doing satire? They should do more.

    2. “Flint Water System Apologist”

      This is beautiful. It’s more of a troll of Laura Loomer than SJWs

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      My name is Titania McGrath. I am a radical intersectionalist poet committed to feminism, social justice, and armed peaceful protest. In April of this year, I decided to become more industrious on social media. I was inspired by other activists who had made use of their online platforms in order to spread their message and explain to people why they are wrong about everything.

      What does it say that I find it difficult to determine whether or not this is satire?

      1. straffinrun

        The pic of the girl. Where have I seen that before?

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      That was a masterclass of epic satire.

      That person is a gift to the West.

      1. slumbrew

        I _think_ it’s the same person who did Godfrey Elfwick. If so, I love her.

        1. Count Potato

          Maybe.

    5. PieInTheSky

      Also

      In my absence from Twitter, I took the opportunity to spend some time at a resort in Val d’Isère, where I could relax and contemplate my oppression. I even managed to write a book which I have entitled Woke: A Guide to Social Justice. I did want to call it My Struggle, but that title was already taken apparently.

      You know who el… eh nevermind

    6. Nice! I’m actually considering joining Twitter just to follow Titania.

    7. Count Potato

      I wonder who she is?

  34. The Other Kevin

    So little happened in sports? The Blackhawks FINALLY won a game! That’s news.

    1. Nephilium

      And there’s a slim chance the Browns might make the playoffs!

  35. Pat

    Democrat Rep. Ted Lieu: ‘I Would Love’ To Regulate Speech

    In a segment on CNN Tuesday afternoon, Rep. Ted Lieu (D-California) lamented that the First Amendment prevents him from regulating speech.

    CNN’s Brianna Keilar asked the congressman if he missed an opportunity to hammer Google CEO Sundar Pichai about the search engine’s vulnerability to be co-opted by foreign governments and bad actors. In response, Lieu said he wished he could regulate speech.

    “I would love to be able to regulate the content of speech,” Lieu said. “The First Amendment prevents me from doing so and that’s simply a function of the First Amendment.”

    1. straffinrun

      I don’t remember the Nolan chart having a “Constitutional Tyrant” quadrant.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Over the long run, it’s better that government does not regulate the content of speech,”

      Nice utilitarian argument you’ve got there.

      1. Rebel Scum

        And in the short run I guess we are cracking eggs to make omelets.

    3. Slammer

      Don’t read the comments

      1. straffinrun

        Slammer also wants to censor. Shame!

        1. Slammer

          The internet comments in a nutshell

          1. straffinrun

            That was a clean hit down the third base line. Nice.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I never listen….

        Citizen’s United inspires stupidity on both sides.

    4. leon

      “Google CEO Sundar Pichai about the search engine’s vulnerability to be co-opted by foreign governments and bad actors. ”

      But the Republicans are crazy for thinking there is bias in Google’s results.

    5. Rebel Scum

      The First Amendment prevents me from doing so

      Good one. Next you’ll tell me that 2A prevents the gov’t from regulating and even “banning” firearms. He knows dammed well that congresscritters and presidents, facilitated by the courts, do not hold to the Constitutions or their oaths to it. It is also telling that he apparently understands what 1A means. I take it that most all of them understand the actual limits that are supposed to be on them, but they are willing to violate them towards ideological ends. And by ‘ideological ends’ I mean power for the sake of power.

  36. AlexinCT

    And I am sure he is pissed he is not one of them. Cause that is usually the objection these peddlers of marxism have to others having wealth…

    1. LJW

      He’s definitely up there in the rich category though. I don’t get how any Marxist can follow that hypocrite.

      1. AlexinCT

        Believing in marxism requires a broken mind IMO, which basically prevents people from making logical connections/conclusions that would immediately make it unpalatable. I used to tell proggie lovers of collectivism peddling asshats like Michael Moore, the Hollywood crowd, and democrats, that it sure was funny to watch these people getting stinking rich selling envy, mediocrity, and a philosophy that can only provide misery to them. They would get real pissed and make all manner of excuses, but never actually see they were being used and wise up.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      What about the army of unelected bureaucrats operating in the deep state who act like kings and queens?

      I find those to be more problematic.

      Sanders wants into the billionaire’s club but is too lazy to get there so he tries to figure out a commie weasel way to get there.

  37. The Other Kevin

    “musical genius Morris Day”

    I’m not sure I’d call him that. Morris Day and the Time were a group manufactured by Prince. He wrote all the songs and played all the instruments, and he hired people to sing over his guiding vocals (apparently you can still hear those vocals in some of the songs). Some members of the band were Prince’s body guards.

    I read about all this in a Prince biography. He was behind a lot of musicians in the same way as The Time.

    1. Drake

      Did prince talk about his hoop skills in the book?

    2. The Other Kevin

      No, but he was great at ping pong, and had a table at his studio. Once he had Michael Jackson at the studio and Prince took great pleasure in dominating him at ping pong.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

      I will not have you intimidate Sloopy to the point where he doesn’t link to Vanity’s b-day when it comes up. (maybe NSFW).

      If I have to put up with Morris Day, to see more Vanity, so be it.

      1. Count Potato

        That doesn’t link either.

  38. Mojeaux

    Chiefs v Chargers tonight. Mr. Mojeaux is going to the game with his dude pal and he’s like a kid on Christmas morning. So cute.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Dude pal?

      I hope it’s platonic.

      1. Mojeaux

        Yeah. He doesn’t make friends easily and with kids and my working all the time, has had no opportunity to hang out even if he did have one. Until now. Having a dude pal to hang out with is important to him.

        1. MikeS

          It is very important. Good on you for encouraging it. Not all women do.

          1. Mojeaux

            It’s no skin off my nose, and I like it when he’s happy and excited about something.

          2. MikeS

            Just for the record; my comment was kind of blurted out due to to previous relationships I’ve had. I know neither sex has a monopoly on being controlling.

          3. Mojeaux

            Oh, I didn’t take it as anything but an observation from a dude’s point of view. ?

          4. commodious spittoon

            Fake news. I exercise perfect control: I deny them my essence.

          5. Mojeaux

            No not-very-commodious spittoons coming along?

          6. commodious spittoon

            How could I possibly raise a child in Trump’s America? How could I look xer in the eye and try to explain, through the tears, “We could have aborted you and saved you from this nightmare hellworld of mean tweets and endless special counsels, but we were selfish and chose to have you anyway”? How could I even approach a woman with intimacy in mind as she cowers in her handmaid’s helmet and covers up her cookie so I don’t grab her by it?

          7. Pope Jimbo

            I have a few buddies my wife is leary about me hanging out with. I think her fear is that we might one day both say “fuck it, let’s move into a bachelor pad and have fun 24/7”. She is never fond of seeing them darkening our doorway.

            I have the honor of being that same threat to a few of my buddies wives as well.

        2. The Last American Hero

          If you haven’t seen it, check out the movie “I Love You Man”

    2. Pope Jimbo

      I am a closet Chargers fan this year. I have a good friend who lives in San Diego and for years has been a hopeless Chargers fan. We have commiserated on why the Chargers and the Vikes have underperformed and broken our hearts.

      Now they are looking real good after moving to LA and I like teasing him about it.

      As a side note, my buddy says the move to LA really hasn’t changed anything. He never went to games live, so he still watches them on TV just like before. The only real change is that he had to change the web site that he reads the sports column in. He is absolutely tickled pink that he doesn’t have to pay for a stadium.

      1. Mojeaux

        I have been impressed with the Chargers this year, and today I respect them as a challenging opponent, so I predict a good game.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          You have a chance in football. But you are doomed if it turns into a BBQ cookoff.

          1. Mojeaux

            Them’s fightin’ words!

  39. Scruffy Nerfherder

    In a good mood this morning?

    Let me fix that for you.

    1. “Flint Water System Apologist”

      Sue that school district into oblivion. I imagine that she could find a sympathetic jury. There would just have to be no public school teachers in the jury pool, since it’s their need to rent seek that leads to the absurdity of truancy laws and the harassment of those who home school

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’d be in full “burn it to the ground and salt the earth” mode.

    2. straffinrun

      No yellow vest needed. You’re gonna see parents in camo and war paint if they keep that shit up.

    3. DOOMco

      Jesus fucking Christ.

    4. MikeS

      Holy shit. Fuck those control freaks.

      I just donated to the HSLDA.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Same here. We’ve been members for years because we always have at least one kid who’s partially home schooled. But this deserved a little extra.

    5. leon

      As someone who was home schooled as a kid, this really hits the feels.

  40. “Flint Water System Apologist”

    https://twitter.com/evanperez/status/1073018466196733952

    “The Russians did Brexit”, so says super serious and perpetually butt hurt “journalist”.

    I was also late to work this morning and I’m hoping I can blame that on the Russians, because I’m an “adult”.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Weirdest thing is how it increasingly seems clear the Russians helped propel Brexit and the sitting UK govt is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      I’m always impressed with how major media journalists can make Trump’s tweets look like Catholic school grammar.

      1. leon

        But let’s all Mock the one cause he has spelling errors. We be so superior to him ’cause we speak in retarded basic bitch hood rat.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      What power the Russians yield upon us all.

      The same people who produce the Lada.

    3. Rebel Scum

      Fascinating. Like the Russians ostensibly supporting the NRA because they want the American population to be sufficiently armed. “To what end that benefits Russia?” a reasonable and curious person might ask.

      1. Count Potato

        My favorite is that Louise Mensch think Russia is behind #metoo.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Vox knows what’s good for you.

    Based on the research, a higher alcohol tax would reduce drinking and likely excessive drinking in particular, saving thousands of lives and preventing all sorts of crime and public health problems. This research dates back years, and there’s a lot of it, Toomey said, making a tax hike one of the most evidence-backed ideas in alcohol policy.

    Yet Congress has moved in the opposite direction in recent years. In the tax law passed last year by Republicans in the House and Senate, a slew of changes effectively cut the alcohol tax by 16 percent, according to an analysis by Adam Looney at the Brookings Institution. Looney estimated that “the legislation will cause … approximately 1,550 total alcohol-related deaths annually from all causes.”

    ———-

    To put it another way, increasing the cost of a six-pack of Bud Light by 50 cents — and other drinks by similar levels — would probably save thousands of lives every single year.

    This is a conservative estimate. It counts only deaths from alcohol-caused diseases. The number of saved lives would be higher if it accounted for alcohol-related deaths due to violence, car crashes, and other problems.

    We need to raise the alcohol tax. The numbers don’t lie. Lives will be saved. The unclean will be punished. Society will benefit.

    1. DOOMco

      We just need to tax a little bit more

      1. AlexinCT

        And by a little bit more, we mean we will take it all and give back to you what we think you deserve/need. That’s what marxism says is the way to do this anyway.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Future Perfect
      Finding the best ways to do good. Made possible by The Rockefeller Foundation.

      Rockefeller is the gift that keeps on giving.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Taxes are inefficient.

    4. Certified Public Asshat

      “The tax influences how much people buy and how much people drink, and that ripples then through to the burden of alcohol-related disease and injury on our society.”

      Gah, why does this only apply to sin taxes?

      1. R C Dean

        “The income tax influences how much people buy earn and how much people drink work, and that ripples then through to the burden of alcohol-related disease and injury on productivity and wealth of our society.”

        Checks out.

    5. Rebel Scum

      a higher alcohol tax would reduce drinking and likely excessive drinking in particular

      No. It would make it more expensive. And are they suggesting that if you tax something you get less of it? Perhaps we should talk about taxes on food.

    6. Private Chipperbot

      To put it another way, increasing the cost of a six-pack of Bud Light an abortion by 50 cents — would probably save thousands of lives every single year.

      Wonder if that would fly?

    7. Endless Mike

      They should just outlaw alcohol. Sure it’s been tried, but that wasn’t REAL prohibition – with the right people in charge….

    8. Count Potato

      That makes no sense at all.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Mark Kleiman, a drug and criminal justice policy expert at New York University’s Marron Institute, argues that the research on the alcohol tax is very clear.

    “The single most effective thing you can to reduce crime right away is to raise the price of alcohol,” he told me. “If you talk either about crime policy or drug policy, that’s got to be the No. 1 recommendation — just because it’s so easy. It doesn’t cost you anything. You don’t have to kick in anybody’s door. You just have to change a number in the tax code and crime goes down.”

    Government is magic.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      You don’t have to kick in anybody’s door.

      As long as they pay their taxes, and file their paperwork, and obtain their licenses, and….

    2. LJW

      The 1920’s beg to differ. iMO prohibition is no different than inflating the price to unaffordable levels.

      1. DOOMco

        Very true. Colorado still has a black Market for pot.

        Because the taxes kept most of it at the same price, and now there’s more supply. So the risk addition in illegal pricing has basically dropped to zero.

    3. whiz

      If you increase taxes too much, you get a black market in that commodity.

      1. whiz

        Ooops, I should refresh more often.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Yikes. There are some world class mental gymnastics on display in that Vox thing about alcohol taxes.

  44. Count Potato

    “California lawmaker arrested for ‘child cruelty’ says he spanked his daughter, 7, for acting out – and her teachers called the police when she told them about it”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6492067/Lawmaker-arrested-child-cruelty-says-spanked-daughter.html

    This is their top story.

    1. R C Dean

      Two thoughts:

      The little hellion was mad about being spanked and ratted her own father out. Guess who is now in charge of the household.

      officials at Dailey Elementary Charter School noticed an injury on the child and reported it to authorities.

      Hmm. I wonder if the injury was actually caused by the spanking. If so, I would call it more of a beating than a spanking.

      Oh, one more:

      Mrs. California Lawmaker: Would.

      1. Evan from Evansville

        Ooooh, that’s a hardwood indeed.

        1. R C Dean

          I would say that, as a profession, doctors have the hottest wives. They certainly have the lawyers beat.

          1. Count Potato

            IANAL, but you probably shouldn’t say that to Mrs. Dean.

      2. If I read the article correctly, he didn’t do anything wrong according to California law, right? So why should he take the advice of the CPS and get his family into therapy? Maybe the daughter, after he justifiably whoops her ass black and blue, but the whole family?

        But seriously, while I appreciate that there are definitely situations where a child being abused could be helped by knowing that he or she can tell another adult with some kind of authority who can intervene in some fashion, it seems like you’re just as likely to have a system in place where a kid could get a bruise through normal kid stuff, get pissed off at dad, and claim that dad did it. And then you wind up in a situation where the whole family is traumatized by the state, Dad’s at risk of losing his job, and the whole family can go down the shitter quickly.

    2. Rhywun

      With those children, he thought, that wretched man must lead a life of terror. Another year, two years, and they would be watching him night and day for symptoms of unorthodoxy. Nearly all children nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Schools they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it.

    1. SugarFree

      “It’s so hot when Liam gives me a shot of penicillin before he staples on three condoms.”

    2. Rhywun

      They have cybersex?! OMG how edgy and surprising!!

  45. The Last American Hero

    The musical selection should have been this,

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWur6dfOlAs

    1. Drake

      Goodyears for your donkey cart. (Too bad you already ate the donkey)

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Eduar Bremo, a member of Goodyear’s factory-workers union, said that the company is paying severance packages to its more than 1,200 employees and giving each 10 tires, which are hugely valuable in shortage-wracked Venezuela.

      Winnie Mandela has some ideas on how to best use those.

      1. R C Dean

        I like the fuck you to the government there. Now they can’t get their mitts on those tires to resell them and pocket the money.

  46. Endless Mike

    I think we can all agree that Tom Bombadil would kick all of their asses. (Ducks, runs)

    1. The Last American Hero

      Tom is The Master, and has been in that spot long before Gandalf’s sorry ass showed up on the scene.

      So long as the fight takes place in the Old Forest, advantage Tom. Dumbeldore may have spells, but Tom’s songs are stronger. And don’t even start in with Star Wars. Tom would have a yellow boot up Vader’s ass so fast he’d still have time to pick some flowers for Goldberry.

      1. robc

        The removal of Tom Bombadil is Peter Jackson’s greatest sin.

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          It would have been terribly difficult to pull that off with quality, I think.

          I’ll keep my minds image of what Tom is like, thank you very much.

          1. robc

            They would have needed to make 6 LOR movies instead of 3, to go with the 6 books.

            I mean, if they can make 3 Hobbit movies….

        2. R C Dean

          I’m say foggy, at this point, on the books, but Tom did make an appearance in the first(?) Hobbit flick.

          1. dorvinion

            Tom was not in the books, nor film.

            They did add Beorn to the films.

  47. Drake

    I’m still surprised that James Fields was convicted of First Degree Murder. He’s a mouth-breathing idiot, but he sure did not per-mediatate murder. That was a disturbing show trial.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Jury was probably scared out of their minds to vote otherwise.

    2. Rebel Scum

      I want to know what evidence was provided to support a first degree murder charge. Seemed like manslaughter to me.

      1. MikeS

        Here you go

        Jurors also were shown a now-deleted Instagram post that Fields shared months before the Charlottesville crash. “You Have the Right to Protest, But I’m Late for Work,” read the post shared on May 16, 2017, accompanied by an image of a car running into a group of people.

        he backed up before barreling forward and crashing into another vehicle at the corner where the counterprotesters were gathered.

        1. Drake

          That’s it? That proves intent and the guys with guns chasing him and people beating on his car don’t even make the grade for reasonable doubt?

          1. leon

            He thought about it once, so he must have planned to go to the protest to do just that.

          2. MikeS

            https://www.nbc12.com/2018/11/30/fields-instagram-posts-depicting-car-running-into-crowd-allowed-trial/

            On what was supposed to be his last day with the Daily Progress in Charlottesville, Ryan Kelly was working as photojournalist on assignment covering the protests and counter-protests on August 12th, 2017. As counter protesters headed to 4th and Water Streets he followed the march taking photos. Kelly says he spotted the Challenger slowly back up in the downtown mall, thinking the driver was trying to get out of the area. Kelly told the jury he heard screeching tires, an engine revving, and the car sped past him as he held down the shutter and continued to take photos.

          3. MikeS

            For the record, I’m not saying it was 1st degree. Rebel asked what evidence they based it on so I linked it.

            I went looking for video showing him being attacked before he drove into them. I can’t find it. Has it been memory holed?

          4. There’s a warning there about shit you put on the Internet. To be honest, there’s also a warning there about avoiding situations where bad shit will likely happen.

  48. KibbledKristen

    Wherein my earworms become your earworms.

    1. Mojeaux

      Dammit. I clicked. Thanks, Kristen!

      1. KibbledKristen

        You’re welcome!! 😀

          1. KibbledKristen

            LOL – shortened Youtube URLs are blocked at my office!! Ha!

            (if that is Wham’s “Last Christmas”, I am DEAD. I’m still going strong in the Whamageddon game)

          2. Mojeaux

            *gnashes teeth*

          3. robc

            I am not sure I have ever heard that song in my life.

            Seems like an easy game to survive.

          4. MikeS

            Right? I’m going on 47 years straight.

          5. KibbledKristen

            You’ve probably heard it, just didn’t remark on it. It plays in heavy rotation in every mall, restaurant and radio station that plays Xmas music.

  49. KibbledKristen

    So as everyone in the Facederp and Tweeters are lamenting how terrible 2018 was, I’m like:

    -Got a substantial raise, back on salary, accruing vacation days
    -Learned to shoot a firearm
    -Bought a firearm that I like to shoot
    -Went skiing in CO (that’s every year, but it’s always a highlight)
    -Dumped deadweight squeeze

    Like, 2018 has been pretty awesome. 2017 was better, but this was a good year.

    1. LJW

      – less money stolen from my paycheck ($250 a month including my wife)

      -got a promotion with raise

      – birth of my second child

      – daily derp from the left for entertainment

      2018 was a good one.

    2. Mojeaux

      Good list. I think Mr. Mojeaux and I need to sit down and write some of ours down.

    3. commodious spittoon

      -Completed three of five terms for my associate’s
      -kept up on rent, bills, and tuition without going into hock with the feds
      -car’s still running and intact
      -so am I and most of my family, for that matter
      -I’m not sitting in a trench this winter, but I get to see colorized WW1 footage in a week

    4. R C Dean

      2018 was pretty much indistinguishable from 2017. I got nuthin’ to complain about.

    5. CPRM

      I started making cartoons!

      1. Count Potato

        Go you!

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Closing in

    Mueller in recent weeks released sentencing memos for Cohen, Trump’s former national security adviser, Michael Flynn, and former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort.

    “When you say beginning of the event — that means impeachment?” CNN’s Erin Burnett asked Heck on Wednesday. “Means he’s gone before the end of the term?”

    “I don’t know precisely what it means except for what I intend for it to mean is this: that the Mueller investigation is getting closer and closer,” Heck replied. “Now, they now have the president as an unindicted co-conspirator for breaking campaign finance laws.”

    The real lesson, here: Never, ever get involved in politics. Those people are the scum of the earth.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Campaign finance violations are handled with fines. But by all means wax retarded about Trump’s impending downfall over the equivalent of jaywalking.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Obama was assessed a $375,000 fine by the FEC. By all means, if we’re going to take campaign finance violations seriously, take them seriously. But don’t let’s pretend it’s unique or uniquely damning, just because you don’t like the guy holding the reins. Especially if we’re just going to ignore the tens of millions of dollars the Clintons harvested from foreign governments while Hillary was Secretary of State. Apparently, the only financial crimes worth investigating are those committed in furtherance of a campaign for political office. Accepting fees from foreign governments while you’re actually holding political office is perfectly kosher.

        1. Rebel Scum

          That and I seem to recall the Obama campaign(s) being fast and loose with the acceptance of online donations, not controlling for whether or not they were from within or outside the country.

          1. R C Dean

            Same here. I believe they took the affirmative step of turning off controls to prevent foreign donations in his first campaign.

    2. R C Dean

      What’s funny is, what Cohen plead to isn’t even a crime. The fact that he’s going to jail proves (to me) that he didn’t implicate Trump. Mueller was bitching that they didn’t get sufficient cooperation from Cohen. He’s an idiot and a dirtbag, but it doesn’t sound like he was willing to testify to critical elements of a campaign finance violation by Trump himself. So the blathering about unindicted co-conspirators is just more TDS fantasizing. If Cohen had rolled over on Trump the way they wanted him to, he would have testified that Trump was a co-conspirator, and they wouldn’t have jailed him.

      Also overlooked: Cohen has a number of his own skeevy real estate deals that have nothing to do with Trump. I suspect that’s what Mueller’s leverage was, and why Cohen did the plea deal.

      1. R C Dean

        Nice analysis of why Cohen isn’t guilty of any campaign finance violations.

      2. Sean

        None of which has anything to do with Russia collusion.

        1. R C Dean

          Collusion with Russia also isn’t a crime.

          Now, there are things a candidate can do with a foreign country that are crimes, but there is no such thing as “criminal collusion with a foreign country” as such.

          Mueller’s appointment is illegal. I can’t understand why none of the courts who have looked at it haven’t thrown it out.

          1. Rebel Scum

            Collusion with Russia also isn’t a crime.

            Bingo. All the usual suspects go along with the “collusion” line without defining what they mean.

            I can’t understand why none of the courts who have looked at it haven’t thrown it out.

            Too busy filing injunctions against actions by the president that are fully within his authority, such as rescinding constitutionally dubious executive orders of the previous admin.

          2. creech

            “Now, there are things a candidate can do with a foreign country that are crimes, ”
            You mean Trump didn’t give our adversaries access to, say, technological secrets about making more stealthy submarines, or, say, access to significantly more uranium? If he had done anything like that, then “String the Traitor Up.”

  51. Count Potato

    “Everything Old Is Bad, a Continuing Series at Vox
    By Charles C. W. Cooke”

    https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/vox-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-constitutional-age-floors/

  52. Count Potato

    “College Gender & Women’s Studies Department: Abolish the Police

    “We Call for the Abolition of the Police, ICE, Borders and the Judicial System,” the post stated. “We demand abolition! Abolition of the police, abolition of borders and ICE, abolition of the current punishment-based justice system. We demand for our communities to be empowered to take care of themselves, for no borders, for rehabilitation and healing justice.”

    “Abolition is a process that we are committed to fight for,” it concludes.

    Sorry — this is completely and totally bananas. I’m a huge advocate of criminal-justice reform, and I think that there are far too many people who are locked away in prison for nonviolent, victimless acts such as drug crimes. I certainly would like to see these people released, and for drugs to be legalized so that fewer people take their place. For such offenders, I would agree that an approach of “rehabilitation” works much better than a punitive one and is less expensive.”

    https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/12/college-gender-womens-studies-department-abolish-the-police/

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Don’t worry, Antifa will protect us.

    2. Rebel Scum

      Abolish the Police

      Without police to whom to they report all the rape – oh, I see.

      We demand for our communities to be empowered to take care of themselves, for no borders, for rehabilitation and healing justice.

      Communities don’t have borders that you would want to use to keep those troglodyte deplorables out?

      1. creech

        I think the idea is that the community will elect someone (let’s call it a Commisar) to recruit a squad of woke citizens (let’s call them NKVD) to identify the non-woke and bring them in to be questioned by their friends (let’s call it People’s Court). Then they will be rehabilitated (let’s call it the Gulag) or more seriously admonished (let’s call it Bullet to the Back of the Head).

    3. Rhywun

      The department reportedly shared the nine-point platform, which was created by the National Trans Youth Council, on Facebook with the description “something to believe in.”

      Talk about mission creep.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Those with mental illness know what’s best for us.

    4. Dude, I’ve been on this for years! Every time somebody says, “If it weren’t for the police you’d get mugged and murdered and raped every day in your comfy little living room, peon!” and I reply, “Hey, champ, I’ll trade you the cops not having to respond to any call from me or to my property for an unconditional carry exemption and no restrictions on firearms.” I never thought that I’d find allies for a nightwatchman state in the Gender Studies department!

  53. KibbledKristen

    Speaking of “grievance studies” – Joe Rogan did a great interview with the folks who made up that phrase. I’m sure many of you have already seen it, but I was pretty riveted the whole 2 hours

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZZNvT1vaJg

    1. commodious spittoon

      You’re not wrong, I could totally see how riveted you were.

      *adjusts binoculars*

      1. KibbledKristen

        *looks around suspiciously*

  54. Danimal

    So my 2 year old daughter is very susceptible to leading questions. She came to me crying a few weeks ago, and I half jokingly said “Oh, did mama hit you?”. She said “Yeah, mama hit me!”. I tried this a few more times – like when she came to me with a scratch or bruise – and each time she says “Yeah, mama hit me”. And I have to correct her and say “Don’t lie. Mama did not hit you. That’s not nice to lie”.

    She gets bruises on her arms and legs from rough-housing with her older sister and, you know, just generally acting like a two year old. And I’m terrified that one of the day care ladies one day is going to ask her a leading question as to where her bruises came from and she’s going to say “Yeah, mama/dada hit me”.

    If any of the brownshirts from social services ever step foot on my property… well… it terrifies me to think what I might do.

    1. R C Dean

      #believeher

      Sounds like your wife needs to be picked for questioning, comrade.

    2. leon

      My 2 and 3 year olds are the same way. It’s worse that I’m a bit of a tease and so will blame them for things that i obviously did (like farting)… cause now the 3 year old does it. It’s learning on both ends here.

    3. kinnath

      I can’t imagine raising kids these days.

      20 years ago, my wife and I were having breakfast in the local diner. We had our 2 year old grandson with us. He grabbed something he wasn’t supposed to, and my wife smacked his hand.

      Some busy-body at a table near by decided to intervene and say that my wife should not hit a child. My wife gracefully said some non-profane version of Fuck-Off. The busy-body didn’t take it well. So she stood up and declared she worked for Child Protective Services and could take the child if she thought it was necessary.

      A big burly guy at a near-by table said told the busy-body that she wasn’t taking the child anywhere. Everybody that knew us and knew that we were good parents.

      The busy-body turned pretty much full circle and realized there were about 2 dozen sets of eyeballs staring her down. So she decided to sit down and shut up.

      Today, I imagine the busy-body would have called in SWAT for back up.

      1. R C Dean

        Me, at that diner: “I’m a lawyer who works for a mandatory reporter and deal with CPS pretty regularly. I would testify under oath that what just happened was neither abuse nor neglect. If you try to seize that child, I will support a criminal complaint against you for kidnapping.”

    4. Mojeaux

      A friend’s tween-ish kid threatened her with calling CPS. My friend put the number on the refrigerator and said, “Remember. They take the child.”

      1. R C Dean

        Nice.

        “Go right ahead. Just remember – you’ll be the first one they drag out of this house, and I don’t have any idea where you will wind up or for how long. You might want to Google “foster care abuse”, though.”

      2. Drake

        I told my kids to go ahead and pack a bag if they ever pull that kind of a thing.