“SHE’S DEAD! WRAPPED IN PLASTIC!” Oh, Pete. Dear Pete.
Here’s your chance to buy the coffin used for Laura Palmer’s burial in Twin Peaks. I can’t imagine any use for it beyond Claus Von Bulow sex games or a coffee table that makes your Tinder hook-up run out screaming (or, perhaps worse, NOT run out screaming.)
And, no, I didn’t watch the remake, sequel, whatever you want to call it.
Couple and Homeless Man Said to Have Made Up Story Behind $400,000 GoFundMe Campaign
The strange case of a couple in New Jersey who raised $400,000 on GoFundMe for a homeless good Samaritan appears to be skidding into a surprise ending.
Following earlier legal turmoil, the couple reportedly turned themselves in to [sic] authorities on Wednesday and will face charges for allegedly conspiring with the man to make up a heartwarming story in order to crowdfund the fortune, according to newly reported court documents.
NBC Philadelphia obtained a copy of a complaint by Burlington County prosecutors that accuses Mark D’Amico and Kate McClure of conspiring with Johnny Bobbitt Jr. to deceive GoFundMe users into making donations. A source familiar with the case told NBC that D’Amico and McClure had already turned themselves in but did not confirm if Bobbitt had done the same.
According to the report, the three made up the story that inspired 14,000 contributors to raise $400,000 for Bobbitt. In October of 2017, McClure started a GoFundMe campaign that claimed she’d run out of gas on the interstate when Bobbitt, who was allegedly homeless, approached her car. She said that he told her to sit tight and proceeded to use his last $20 to get her fuel. Inspired by his kindness, she and her boyfriend, D’Amico, set out to raise $10,000, allegedly to get him on his feet. A flood of donations ensued as the story went viral and the couple made television appearances. It’s unclear exactly what parts of the story were allegedly made up, but NBC claims that the charges will include conspiracy and theft by deception.
The GoFundMe scam is a fine long con to add to the grifter playbook.
Raccoons Suspected of Having Rabies Were Actually Just Drunk as Hell
Following recent reports that two masked perpetrators were raising alarm in a town in West Virginia, police say they have reason to believe the troublemakers had just gotten wrecked.
The Milton Police Department reportedly received accounts of stumbling and disoriented raccoons at least twice in the last week, and locals worried the raccoons might have rabies. But those suspicions were wrong. The raccoons in question—including one who was identified by police as Dallas—had reportedly gotten wasted by eating some fermented crab apples.
“Ptl Scarberry made his first apprehension today, taking this masked bandit into custody with assistance [sic] of Sgt Collins and several neighborhood residents,” the Milton Police Department wrote in a Facebook post on Monday. “Ptl Withers caught one yesterday on Brickyard Ave with the help of the city street department. Today’s culprit was on Highland Ave and Mason Street and it was a community effort.”
Both raccoons have been safely collected and dropped off in the woods. The department noted that if you happen to stumble upon one of these drunk idiots, you should not approach them. Call the city’s non-emergency line and they’ll come to collect the bombed raccoon themselves.
You and your buddy are just out to have a good time, get a little tipsy and the fucking cops scoop you up and dump you out in the middle of nowhere and you’re like “Earl, where the hell are we?” and Earl’s all like, “How the hell am I supposed to know?” and you’re like, “What the hell was in those crab apples?” and Earl’s all like, “Beats me, dude, but I ain’t never drink again! Let’s try to figure out how to get home!” and then you both try not get eaten by a gotdamn cougar.
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! DAMN YOU TO HELL, TIM BURTON!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And to get the horrible elephant out of your head…
Comments
378 responses to “Thursday Afternoon Links – Drunken Raccoon Coffin Sex edition”
“And, no, I didn’t watch the remake, sequel, whatever you want to call it.”
Well, I thought it was good.
I forgot the sequel existed until this reminder.
I still play the soundtrack from the original series once in a while. Here’s a fav
(A Real Indication)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnNf_ZMKHeg
Mostly, I just didn’t want to risk it. I’ll probably end up watching it at some point.
If you are a David Lynch fan, you will like it. If you tolerate David Lynch, it will remind you why you’re not a David Lynch fan.
If you want a conclusion to the Black Lodge/Annie Blackburn story arc, you will be disappointed.
It’s heavy on comedy David Lynch which is my least favorite David Lynch besides meditation cult David Lynch. https://youtu.be/rQsGma4_H1Y
Dougie Jones https://youtu.be/vBRAY_bIIaE
Yes, but you’re a potato.
Are the crows going to be in the new Dumbo?
I sure enough don’t know bout dat!
Were they also the birds who were smoking cigars?
I don’t remember the movie all that well — I saw it as a kid in the 60s when it first came out — and most of what I remember is that his ears allowed him to fly just like the Flying Nun.
Yes sir. They also taught Dumbo to fly.
I thought they were magpies like Heckel and Jeckel?
The Crows
Their leader is really named Jim Crow? Wow.
That’s a little too on the nose
That’s…..a bit much, no?
Remember the crows in “Fritz the Cat?”
I’ve been going through the library of old Disney movies as my daughter gets old enough to watch them. Luckily, her mom hasn’t been home while we’ve watched some of the, uh, less “socially aware” parts. Like the Siamese cats from Lady and the Tramp. Or the Indians from Peter Pan, which even I found a tad cringeworthy. She’s made her peace with the crows from Dumbo, but it was a close-run thing.
How’d she take Song of the South?
You mean the best Disney movie ever?
Dance for me? While, I”ll dance for them…
My kids got a DVD of “Holiday Inn” (Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire) last week after they saw it at an old-movie party. The musical scene for Lincoln’s Birthday is pretty much all in blackface, which evidently gets it cut from some productions. My impression was mostly how ridiculous it looked. The Lincoln-worshiping lyrics were what stuck in my craw and are pushing me to hide the thing from them.
I have a four-DVD set of all the old Batman movie serials from 1943. In the very first episode, at one point Batman is creeping down an empty street looking for a lead on the villain, who of course is Japanese (played by a white guy.)
The narrator announces “Batman has gone down into Gotham City’s Japanese quarter, which now stands empty since the government has wisely rounded up all the shifty Japs…”
Hoo.
Or the Indians from Peter Pan, which even I found a tad cringeworthy. –
How?
There’s a lot more “ME BIG CHIEF SMOKUM PEACE PIPE” than I remember. I didn’t need to go to a safe space or anything, but I can see where it might be a bit much.
Oh goddamit.
I get jokes, I swear to god I do.
Splendid
Are there struggle sessions for food?
ideological food?
So no organic either?
God forbid they’d have food made by devout Christians.
I want my food atheist-sourced and theology-free!
Something tells me that they won’t deny their two new Muslim girls their Halal dishes, though they’d be hard pressed to say that the Muslim cook was less ideological than the fry cook at Chik-Fil-A.
But that’s goodthink or something.
Or have their team named after them. I think this is the dumbest one yet.
http://abc6onyourside.com/news/local/petition-created-to-change-capital-universitys-mascot
Ummm, why is their Crusader dressed like a legionary?
I was wondering the same thing. My guess is the school isn’t turning out the best and the brightest.
Just this week my undergrad college changed their logo from an unshaven gruff-looking Spartan/Titan guy to a computer-generated design of lines meant to suggest, I assume, a helmet of that era. Just the helmet now, though, no person inside. I guess they want to imply inclusiveness, that all are welcome to put on that empty helmet (and fight off the Greeks, I guess).
Wonder how long the USC Trojan lasts? Or will they keep the name and change the mascot to a condom?
“She said her opposition to the mascot is because of the history of the Crusades, which she explained played a part in anti-Semitism and Islamophobia”
Oh man. That’s one hell of an ignorant take
Constantinople says “What the fuck? Why does everyone ignore the 4th Crusade?”
Sweats nervously in Orthodox
Yeah, she’s an idiot.
Indeed. She forgot the acts of cannibalism performed by the Crusaders.
“A petition is circulating around Capital University to change the school’s mascot Cappy the Crusader.”
“Crusader” is anti-Muslim / Semitic? Batman has a sad.
Species Appropriator as well.
To be fair, that’s not a crusader. I’m not sure how the Jewish community or anyone of Arab descent will feel about the new mascot, Cassius the Centurion, though.
If Crusader is deemed offensive, I say the school should change it’s logo to a group of indigenous, anti-colonial freedom fighters: Knights of Santiago.
I sincerely hope Rachael is found starving to death on the street and Chick-Fil-A helps her out.
Because heavens forfend there should be any implication of giving thanks to any divine being for the survival of cishetero white shitlord colonializers at the detriment of native peoples.
Nah. It means tofurkey with vegan gravy, gluten-free stuffing and mashed cauliflower slurry without salt or dairy (cow or otherwise.)
Scrolling thru her twitter feed. She comes off like a Bieber fangirl.
No chick-fil-a/ideological food
I don’t think Chick-fil-a is Halaal.
My wife tears up at just the trailer for the new dumbo.
I just think “man I really need to buy a .375 H&H”
That’s a “when I have more money than sense” gun for me.
My brother-in-law uses one as his elk gun. Shooting that thing is awesome. So loud. So much recoil. It is the thunder of God.
#375Ouch&Ouch
It’s a good medium-game rifle. Well, by African standards. In North America it’s a “OH MY GOD WHAT A FUCKING CANNON” rifle.
Get a .375 Ruger instead. Same size bullet, slightly more powder, slightly better ballistics, and it comes in a standard sized action so the gun is easier to haul around.
For sure. But we’re talking about killing elephants here and the H&H is traditional. It’s killed more elephants than probably every other caliber put together.
I’d probably go with a .458 Win Mag and also get a .458 socom upper for my AR so I could reload using same die (I think). Of course, I have plenty on my wish list before those.
You know who else was thwarted by a circus beast?
James Stewart in The Greatest Show on Earth?
Cleopatra and Hercules in the movie Freaks?
(one of us! one of us!)
Siegfried and Roy?
RIP, Roy
Gaius Terentius Varro?
Catherine the Great?
Thwarted? That’s a new one, but I’ll allow it. Euphemisms these days…
Athwarted, maybe.
Fruit Stripe Gum?
That stuff is the best gum ever…for the first 30 seconds or so.
Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8?
Soul Asylum?
Roman Christians?
Kate Capshaw?
House Dems are going to tear each other apart over Pelosi and it’s going to be hilarious.
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/11/nancy-pelosi-speaker-challenge-tim-ryan-seth-moulton.html
The dem party has been co-opted by leftist who are now going to be eaten by hard leftist radicals. Beautiful. They are going full commie.
*checks popcorn stock*
Agreed.
They say this every time there is a vote for speaker and the establishment curb stomps the Rheeeee brigade.
She isn’t going anywhere. This guy tried it in 2016. He’s more of a traditional Democrat. The party has moved even further away from him since then.
Does Slate have a new logo/masthead every week?
Ain’t it good, ain’t it right,
That I’m elected here tonight
(Congratulations, Rufus.)
LoFl.
Me rock you gently long time sugar, sugar.
In other words, voter fraud. I was following this race on election night. That guy lost by a mile.
I suspect there might be more to that raccoon story.
https://pics.me.me/getting-your-dick-sucked-jacking-off-sucking-your-own-dick-16150828.png
Not. Clicking. That. Link.
What made you suspocious?
Nor am I.
Seriously, the Count has to know that you have to disguise such a link using tinyurl to pull an HM.
Meh. Just open it in a private window.
Yeah, that’s a rookie mistake, there.
It’s funny.
It appears Tim Burton took Danny Devito’s character from Big Fish and put him in Dumbo and cast him with… Well Danny Devito.
That’s exactly what I thought too.
Who better to play the character of “Danny DeVito”?
Cope’s an expert on ancient megalithic structures:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_Cope#Archaeology_and_antiquarianism
I’m aware that ICE doesn’t make immigration law, Congress of which you’re a member does that. So why don’t you do your job and fix the law instead of sitting around being a cunt would have been my answer.
https://www.nationalreview.com/news/kamala-harris-draws-parallels-between-ice-and-the-kkk/
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The Democrats nominating Kamala Harris would be the one and only thing that could cause me to vote Trump in 2020.
THIS IS A WOMAN WHO ONCE ARGUED, AS ATTORNEY GENERAL OF CALIFORNIA, THAT THE STATE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN PRISON REFORM BECAUSE IT WOULD ROB THE STATE OF SLAVE LABOR, AND SHE WANTS TO BE THIS PROGRESSIVE HERO????
I’d love to see an IQ test on her. It has to be in the low-80s.
Check out Stefan Molyneux here
Now, now. I’m sure her emotional IQ is very high. [rolls eyes]
You seem to believe in the progressives’ good intentions.
Sitting around being a cunt isn’t her job?
More of a calling than a job for her.
Maybe she should reserve this analogy for teacher unions that keep poor minorities trapped in failing schools that operate more as a jobs bank than an education facility
Or Democrat politicians who keep poor minorities trapped in failing public housing projects.
Just a different kind of cannon fodder.
2022? But I want to go to the bourbon park noowwww.
http://amp.kentucky.com/news/business/bourbon-industry/article221639740.html
This guy gets it:
I had a flat-coat retriever who used to lick himself to climax. He could shoot his load more than 20 feet. Never let him in the house.
Hahahahahaha
*deep breath*
hahahahahahahahahaha
I’m a gotdamn genius!
I am shocked.
Me too. I thought all the homeless were noble and just one missed paycheck away from being you or me.
And yet one or two of them got greedy and ruined this terrific business project.
Great tune!
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.”
Now that I’ve watched the trailer, I completely agree.
Geez, it wasn’t that bad.
It’s Tim Burton and he didn’t even kill Dumbo and have it come back as an undead elephant.
I’d rather watch that movie.
God, now I want Pink Elephants scene to be the point where it turns into old-timey Burton horror-lite movie, as they whisk Dumbo to a bizarre (but family friendly-ish) underworld from which he must escape.
That may be part of the movie (see the Dreamland entrance and Michael Keaton as an obvious bad guy)
Rutgers decides professors are free to have opinions.
Certain opinions.
I’m always surprised when white liberals criticize gentrification and yet still live in gentrified communities. They don’t understand that they’re the gentrifiers?
yeah, but no one seems to describe things in economic basics any more; why should this be different ?
90% of what I read is new contrivance to get around the simple classic notions of how things work (I think that’s what Glibs capture under post-modernism). I tell my son that gentrification isn’t a thing; people investing and then fighting it out with competitors and substitutes for price and therefore return is a thing: the market. He could only see it when I asked him about a theoretical building he had saved all his life to buy and renovate: which government agency should set the rent? And how many apartments would he make available for anyone, rich or poor, if he couldn’t set the rents himself (markets withstanding, of course).
Agreed. Though, I would add that most gentrification nowadays is less market driven and more government driven. Thank you, Richard Florida
White people are bad wherever they go. If they gentrify, they displace those good poor people. If they buy new houses in the suburbs, they ruin the pristine environment. If they live in a working-class neighborhood, they are white trash.
And don’t forget, just by ‘going’, that’s ‘white flight’.
Doh!
Yes, I learned this at the National Museum of Mexican Art in Pilsen – there were “tweets” all over the walls with insights such as:
“White people be like, this neighborhood used to be Polish. IT’S CALLED WHITE FLIGHT.”
Also, buying a house in the suburbs is “white flight.”
My neighborhood is undergoing gentrification. It makes me sad because I miss the folks running through my yard shooting each other. And I miss immediately counting shots heard from the very first one. It’s a great skill and I’m afraid I’m going to lose it. On the plus-side, the restaurants are much, much better. For example:
https://www.toriramen.com/tori44menu/
“Lana it’s ok, those are ruger gp100’s and they totally fired 12 shots total. They are out of ammo”
Introducing ‘Monopoly For Millennials.’
“Forget real estate. You can’t afford it anyway,” reads the tagline to the board game that strikes a nerve every bit as much as it strikes the jugular, a game too real to be funny, which is exactly why it’s so funny. “Adulting is hard. You deserve a break from the rat race,” reads the box’s back alongside a graphic of Uncle Pennybags taking a selfie….
“Collect Experience points by visiting the hottest Destinations,” reads the description on Amazon. “IT’S ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE: In this version of the Monopoly game, the player who collects the most Experience — not the most money — wins the game.”
A lot of people are upset about this, but I think it’s funny.
“Hasbro, can you provide the URL for the Hasbro-official website featuring “Monopoly for Millennials,” where you trash on my age demographic because baby boomers caused an economic catastrophe that rendered us financially impotent for a decade? Thanks!” said one angered Twitter user.
Fuck you, you sniveling whiny little bitch!
/fellow millennial who actually has a job
“I can’t buy a house in the [tony neighborhood] of [uber-progressive city], fuck you, Boomers!”
That blaming other people and then demanding that they help you thing is the milennial stereotype that makes them the most hated, I think.
$50 on amazon. Maybe if I come across it in a brick & mortar store.
anyone else play with the pot in the middle? i forget what we had to roll to win it.
You have to land on free parking to win the pot.
^^This^^
We played where you had to land on free parking to get it.
I think it was landing on Free Parking?
In before somebody gives up the Free Parking twist.
Missed it by that much.
People who play by that rule are the reason the game sucks.
1. There is no goddamn pot of free money.
2. All properties MUST be sold when someone lands on it. If the person who lands on it doesn’t want it, it gets auctioned off.
Following those two rules keeps the game under an hour long.
Look at Hoyle, here.
Free Parking + free money = WINNING
Rule 2 is a great rule. Rule 1 just increases the randomness of the game and keeps losing players interested, even as their game falls apart.
That is, violating rule 1 does those things
You mean “cheating”?
It’s not cheating if everyone agrees on the rules.
/not a politician, even
+1 Social Contract
Not only the pot, but the other two pillars of Reasontarianism as well.
And tweeting all about it just like millenials.
I am like soooooo upset. I cried into my Peppermint Snowflake Frappe.
Will the live action Dumbo movie have the racist birds in it?
The bad: My sister, who is the smartest yet the dumbest person I’ve ever known, is getting remarried. Two days after Christmas. Scheduled just this week. I’m pretty sure she’s pregnant, even though she’s denying it. New soon to be husband is an idiot.
The good: He’s somehow less of an idiot than the ex husband. Plus he actually has a job, unlike the ex husband.
More good: You can start a pool on how long it will last.
Unpossible: We have the same sister!?!
I’m selfish and mean and never pull punches, but dumb people need love, too. My sister has spawned an entirely new and unique branch of incompetent for our family, besting redneck lows that I thought no one could ever surpass. But they take care of each other in their own pathetic way; they are all each other have.
Knowing my sister, it was never going to end well, so the how and the whom with which she crashes her shot at this life are mere details. I find myself feeling sorry for just about everyone.
Reverse Coyote Ugly: This Thanksgiving down in Texas, reckon my ex-laws will be blaming me for anything they all saw coming!? Probably so.
I’m pretty sure she’s pregnant, even though she’s denying it.
You’ll know for sure when she has a healthy 11-pound preemie in 7 months.
From my daughter today. John is her husband of 30 years. Meagan is their 24 year old daughter (my granddaughter)
We’re out Meagan’s ,John is doing more work. I left it up to him if he wanted to tell them he lost his job.
John: I lost my job.
Meagan: What’d you do this time?
John: Talked about what I did at the Dept of Defense
Meagan: Haven’t you learned in 30 yrs to keep your mouth shut?
Florida man’s mugshot goes viral, draws a slew of ‘neck’ jokes
Any Florida Glibs seen this guy in your neck of the woods?
Nobody is going to lynch that dude.
I wouldn’t make fun of him to his face. Not with that neck.
Hah, an old friend of my wife’s from when we lived in Pensacola sent her the link to that yesterday. My favorite comment: “My neck, my back, they took my meth AND my crack”
And fuck Bob Tyler Toyota. Those guys suck ass.
What… the hell is that? Yikes.
They collared a neck with a body.
This guy did it better
Every day is neck day!
I thought Warty was from Clevelansd not FL
“She said her opposition to the mascot is because of the history of the Crusades, which she explained played a part in anti-Semitism and Islamophobia”
Those Crusaders killed a lot of Semites.
Saved them the trouble of killing each other.
The Crusaders were a bunch of garbage people.
So what you are saying is that the Muslim world needs to rethink their hatred of the Crusades?
More seriously the Crusades were ostensibly a counter offensive by Christendom against expansionist Islam. You can certainly be skeptical about the actual motives of the Crusaders but the atrocities, looting of allies, murderous rampages, cannibalism etc. were pretty much universal accompaniments for warfare in an era where military units were made up of serfs and mercenaries, training consisted of if you survive for a while you may learn something, and logistics consisted of “If you are hungry go find some food and quit bothering us about it.” Every horror of the Crusades is repeated, and intensified during the 30 years war.
I’m not sure how gathering German Jews into a synagogue and lighting it on fire can be considered “collateral damage” of an offensive against the Seljuk Turks 1,000s of miles away.
The human brain hasn’t changed that much in a millennium to say that our ancestors weren’t capable of the same moral reasoning that we can do.
Mark Hamill
@HamillHimself
For centuries, men have had their chance to rule government with middling-to-poor results. Who’s ready to let women take charge completely? Just women. I know I am.
Luke’s always been kind of a twerp.
You have disappointed me for the last time.
For millennia, people have had their chance to rule government with pootr-to-disastrous results. Who’s ready to let individuals take charge of their own lives completely? I know I am.
Get out of here with that crazy shit
Lol, individuals don’t build roadz.
I’ve always identified Mark Hamill as a woman.
Hey Mark, how are you enjoying your Star Wars character with a broad running the franchise?
Poor results? I beg to differ.
I can’t imagine any use for it beyond Claus Von Bulow sex games or a coffee table…
Given your past literary output, I somehow doubt this professed limitation of your imagination.
Mostly just wanted to make a Claus von Bulow joke. They don’t come up all that often.
Alan Dershowitz: You are a very strange man.
Claus Von Bulow: You have no idea.
Reversal of Fortune is a great flick, thanks in part to the casting of Irons and the late great Ron Silver.
https://twitter.com/jdforward/status/1062789374075637761
“Orthodox Jews Are Infected with Anti-Semitism”
Oh man. Close it up, this is the hottest take I have ever heard. Well done, morons.
Isn’t Forward like Reform Judaism’s Pravda?
I think Reform Judaism is too conservative for Forward
Disagree with you.
Source: I know my orthodox Jewish, idiot ex-brother in law.
Florida updates:
Turns out Bill Nelson *doesn’t* want to count every vote [Ed note: The votes here are illegal, but suing to have them not counted doesn’t go along with what he’s been saying since the beginning]
Nelson lost ground in the Miami-Dade County recount. It’s rumored he also lost ground in Broward, but that hasn’t been officially announced yet. Though Broward did better than Palm Beach, because at least they finished the recount in time.
Just as a point of interest. JB, Page One was my great uncle’s restaurant.
https://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/2014/01/19/page-one-restaurant-fondly-remembered-/4479951/
https://twitter.com/nytopinion/status/1063151162415894528
BREAKING: Everyone who works at the NYT is a pussy
That’s…… that’s……
oh you’ve got be fucking kidding me
It’s a joke but something tells me there’s truth in dem dere hills.
That’s actually kinda funny. I don’t know what’s the context, and I’d probably hate it if I did, so I’m okay with it. B- effort Babylon Bee material.
OFFS!
Aw come on, they’re trying this “acting human” thing and you go shit on it?
If 90% of their content was replaced by this, world would be a better place. Not only would there be a small, but perceptible reduction in amount of shit shoveled onto us, with such odds, they might have a funny one every week!
*stretches collar*
Tough crowd
Yes. Now go think about what you did wrong, and recite eight chapters of Man Who Was Thursday.
I call BS:
no writer at the NYT can write a spreadsheet
They can, just like apes can read philosophy.
Satire. Crappy satire, though.
Are the crows going to be in the new Dumbo?
I completely forgot about that. The weeping and wailing would be epic.
How the $#@%ing hell does Microsoft have such a dominant position when they can’t produce documentation that isn’t riddled with errors or vague to the point of worthlessness?
Vision, dude.
“School Punishes Male Teacher For Refusing To Watch A Naked Girl In The Boys’ Locker Room”
http://thefederalist.com/2018/11/14/florida-school-district-gags-p-e-teachers-telling-parents-girl-watching-naked-sons/
I’m sure the school administrators will have his back when he’s charged as a sex offender.
It’s the Kobayashi Maru of PE.
^This
BAKE THE CAKEWATCH THIS FEMALE MINOR UNDRESS, BIGOT.*Bill Weld nods approvingly*
Since said student identifies as male, the coach is a bigot and he must watch underage males undress. Under the accepted precedent, as long as he repeats “No homo” every 90 seconds, it is not sexual.
I cant really follow that. Does the student have a dick or not?
Don’t question xers lived genitals.
I guess #MeToo is lower on the proggie victim stack than transgenderfuildqueerotherkin.
Ann Coulter notices that discovered ballots all seem to go the same way – and Republicans are pussies.
Does anybody here use that Stabil stuff? I put the Porsche away for its winter nap earlier, and it did not want to run. I have hardly driven it for about three years, and I think the fuel (thanks, Iowa!) was the problem. It sneezed and coughed and stuttered like crazy. The exhaust smelled awful. I guess maybe I should dump some “preservative” in it. I had a similar problem with my generator, last time I needed it. I pulled the starter rope until my shoulder told me to stop, nd it wouldn’t even cough.
* Winterization” = move it over a few feet, put the top on, roll the windows up and remove the battery.
Stabil is next to worthless.
Star-Tron is more effective. That said, if you can get ethanol free fuel and completely fill the tank before winterizing it, you’ll be much better off.
I use in the lawn mower gas. Seems to work.
On your generator, make sure you cut the fuel off, run it dry, and drain the carburetor bowl before putting it away.
As a veteran chemical packager, I don’t believe any label claims written outside of Lynchburg; the industry is a mountain of lies.
My guess is that E10 fuel is a risk. Maybe drive way out in the country to find ethanol-free before storage?
Does anyone drain everything? I always ran seasonal two-stroke engines dry and just started over with fresh gasoline in the spring; never had a problem, but this was all down South. Gaskets and hoses might crack if they are dry for too long, but materials are so much better these days I wonder if this isn’t strictly an old-school problem.
We can’t just flood everything with kerosene because it might leak down into the cylinders and wreck everything on restart.
Start the thing and run it now and then. Letting a vehicle sit creates more problems than people realize. Seals dry out and crack without being doused by oil now and then. Keep the tank full of gasoline, no ethanol. Start it, rev it and let it run for a few minutes at least once per week.
If you have A/C, be sure to turn it on as well: circulating the refrigerant coats the o-rings and keeps them soft and fat.
Lots of ag A/C compressors die because they run only once a year for the part of the crop cycle they support (single-crop combines, for example). Compressors on custom equipment die all the time: they are installed on standard chassis, but the builder doesn’t finish them out for months (self-propelled RV, for example).
Lookit the Yufus wanna be over here, get your own schtick Don.
Yes, AC. I forgot about that.
This. Totally this.
Trump is considering throwing Gulen to the wolves (turning him over to Turkey for almost certain torture and execution) so they can make nice with the Saudis who also…
yeah, this would be bad if he did this. Hopefully not. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/white-house-weighs-booting-erdogan-foe-u-s-appease-turkey-n933996?cid=sm_npd_nn_tw_ma
That would be very bad and unhelpful.
I do wish that media outlets would keep track of their baddies, though. Two weeks ago Turkey was good, after being bad about a year ago, and now they’re bad again. A mere year ago, Rand Paul and Tulsi Gabbard were dangerous radicals for demanding that the US stop supporting Saudi Arabia’s war against Yemen and now you’re dangerous if you don’t support ending Saudi Arabia’s war against Yemen.
I think it’s fair to say that not many reporters are all that familiar with the world outside of the Acela corridor (maybe parts of CA too).
I’m just going to say what no one else is willing to admit: Turkey would not have gone to shit and elected Erdogen so many times if the Europeans weren’t so dismissive of the idea of allowing them in the EU
Fucking Europeans screw everything up good and hard
They humiliated the secularists and proved the religious fanatics to be right all along
Also, if Kemalists didn’t spend 70 years implementing wonders of socialism because it will work THIS TIME, ATATURK SAID SO, Erdogan never would have picked up small business votes. And then by simple expedient of liberalizing economy made himself look like some kind of a genius in his first term.
Why would the U.S. need to “placate” Turkey over the murder of a Saudi citizen bu Saudi agents?
“You get to kill a dissident, and you get to kill a dissident, and you get to kill a dissident…”
Cool hockey story.
https://www.cbssports.com/nhl/news/the-capitals-had-to-dress-a-31-year-old-womens-hockey-coach-as-their-backup-goalie-vs-jets/
“Hockey players are insanely friendly”.
No better breed of athlete I say.
I like the refreshing lack of cartwheels and dancing after they score.
Not familiar with Tiger Williams, eh?
Ugh
O.M.G. LOL. I REMEMBER THAT GOAL!
My son was watching something to do with football the other day and ask “who was Jack Tatum”. Showed him this. He was stunned. It also explains why receivers didn’t dance around and taunt the defense after every catch.
(Although – fuck the Raiders. That ’76 playoff game was the officiated like a Democrat recount. Al Davis obviously bought the Refs. )
So I like how when I try to get work done at work, everyone fights me, because that would mean doing work at work.
I never saw Florida Man as a business hours kinda guy.
I’m not. Sometimes I get off at 7pm. Sometimes 1 am.
Sometimes get off twice a day whether you need it or not?
I don’t see a problem with that.
Is Westernsloper doing something unspeakable to your “candied peppers” again?
No. The fact that ws isn’t nibbling on my smoked belly means I have to take care of it myself.
I’ve been on a space kick lately, listening to various things from NASA’s golden age of the 1960’s.
Youtube’s algorithm took me to this video with the audio track of a launchpad test of Apollo 1. *The* Launchpad test. Where three astronauts were incinerated after a spark ignited the spacecraft’s 16psi pure O2 atmosphere.
And at the 30 minute mark, you hear the reports of the fire, ending with Chaffee screaming into the radio that they’re burning up.
Depressing as hell.
According to NASA’s investigation, they weren’t burned alive; rather, their O2 hoses ruptured, forcing toxic fumes into their lungs, and the high levels of CO in the fumes caused their hearts to stop. It killed them so quickly that, when their bodies caught on fire seconds after the last radio transmission, they were already dead.
Thanks, Debbie Downer.
the book “Failure is Not an Option” has a good chapter on that incident. It really shook everyone in the control room.
Star-Tron is more effective. That said, if you can get ethanol free fuel and completely fill the tank before winterizing it, you’ll be much better off.
Hmm, thanks. I have never had this much trouble before (I used to think “bad gas” was an old wives’ tale), but the fuel at the pump just gets worse and worse. I have been telling myself I should go get some ethanol free premium for the generator, but I keep putting it off. I’m a cheapskate.
What is cheaper, expensive gas or a new generator?
Brooks,
I use Stabil in my small engines and motorcycles prior to storing for the winter or summer in case of the snowblower.
I used to run dry, but the residual gas in the carb turns to varnish in the summer. I had better luck with gas and stabilizer.
I was able to get my old snowblower and motorcycle started and running well by using Mechanic In a Bottle. It’s not magical, but it really cleaned the carbs. I pour it in then drain the bowl and
repeat. They usually start right away.
https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/mechanic-in-a-bottle
Does anyone drain everything? I always ran seasonal two-stroke engines dry and just started over with fresh gasoline in the spring; never had a problem, but this was all down South. Gaskets and hoses might crack if they are dry for too long, but materials are so much better these days I wonder if this isn’t strictly an old-school problem.
I have always thought it was better to leave the carburetor wet. Never had problems with my lawnmowers or weed eater.
I can’t argue with that: I’ve never had a two-stroke mower or a weed eater that wasn’t disposable.
I use non-oxy gas in all my small and old engines. I always use Sea Foam in gas that won’t be used in awhile. I store the Triumph full, but drain all my small engines and store them dry (with some oil in the cylinders). I always change the oil before storage as well.
Not sure if it’s the ‘proper’ way, but all my stuff starts and runs great.
I leave everything as is. If it doesn’t start later I pull off the air filter and shoot a squirt of ether. Almost always solves the problem. I get a little concerned with the 2 cycles but never had one go bad.
A heartwarming article about gay dom/sub relationships, bears, and death from silicone injections into the genitals. Completely NSFW link. You should not read this. https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/katienotopoulos/silicone-genital-injection-death-tank-hafertepen
“Don’t try this at home, kids!”
Done and done.
You should not read this.
*Hovers cursor over link*
*Considers whether I have made enough dumb decisions for one day*
…
Well, I read it. *I’m* a man. [glares around belligerently]
It was a bummer. Though the guy who died sounded like someone who was going to make a fatally poor choice eventually.
I I bought my boys the complete Tom &Jerry collection this year (the best cartoon ever in my opinion). So before it starts who do you get but Whoopi Goldberg giving a lecture about how racist T&J was. They also throw a warning before it starts so you know about all the terrible racist caricatures about to befall your tender eyes. At least thy haven’t censored the cartoons yet.
How can this be real life?
Well that is wildly inconsistent:
Whoopi Goldberg Tells Disney To Stop Hiding Its History
“I’m trying to find a way to get people to start having conversations about bringing Song of the South back, so we can talk about what it was and where it came from and why it came out,” she told Yahoo Movies.
In the same interview, which can be seen below, she goes on to say that she wanted to see new merchandise featuring the jive-talking crows from Disney’s 1941 classic Dumbo. “I want people to start putting the crows in the merchandise, because those crows sing the song in Dumbo that everybody remembers [“When I See an Elephant Fly”]. I want to highlight all the little stuff people sort of maybe miss in movies.”
How many times does this asshole need to have the same goddamned conversation???
Or maybe it is consistent. She wants it to be available so she can have a lecture at the beginning.
Or she got paid to deliver a silly lecture and took the money because someone else would do it, or, worst outcome, there’d be no DVDs. I mean, principles is nice, but work is work.
I’m fine with that, as opposed to Disney, who pretends that Song of the South doesn’t exist (despite one of their most popular rides at Disney World being based on it).
Seriously? Who the fuck elected Whoopi Goldberg hall monitor?
I can see the rationale for that, but as described I think it would be counter-productive. Who are the kids going to believe: the stern stranger giving a lecture or the funny cartoon animals?
I bought that for my kids. It was put out as a response to those who were angry they’d put out a T&J without Mamie, etc. So they tried to memoryhole it, got caught, and brought the whole collection back with Whoopi doing the apologetics.
Like 15 years ago I got a Looney Tunes collection with a bunch of their World War II cartoons with Leonard Maltin at the beginning giving context for the … um … portrayal of Asians therein. FWIW of course.
The thing is… I don’t know, maybe I was just autistic as a kid, but I never realized that the maid was even black for the longest time. Same thing with the crows in Dumbo. Those apes/monkeys in Jungle Book were awesome though…
Did any of you guys actually realize how racist cartoons in the old days were when you were kids or did it go over your head?
Yes.
No, but I didn’t live in America, so we had our own racisms without idiots projecting their neuroses onto the whole world.
No, because those cartoons had already been banished when I was a kid.
No way. I am a lot younger than you iirc.
Maybe they aired edited versions and that is why I didn’t see any particularly racist stuff.
Never saw Dumbo, so I can’t comment on that. I don’t remember a maid in T&J. It’s also entirely possible that I DID see a maid and just didn’t give a shit and/or was clever enough to see it as a product of its times etc.
I’m not even talking about that shit. I’m old enough to remember when they showed reruns of Bugs Bunny straight up murdering Japanese while calling them slanteyes.
Thanks, Channel 9!
Damn, you are old.
He is one of the OG followers of the Old Ones after all. Jeez, I didn’t know that was even a thing.
And notice that, of course, the clip begins with Bugs cross-dressing.
My mom would have a few words with me about the cartoons before I saw them, but it was more of just a “this is how things were back then”. Hell as a Hispanic kid growing up, I loved Speedy Gonzalez. The maid in T&J was great too, sick of Tom’s shenanigans and tomfoolerly.
Also grew up watching Simpsons too and found Apu to probably be the only decent person in all of Springfield.
This is the tragedy of the whole affair.
I will not have the good name of Disco Stu besmirched!
I can’t believe I forgot about Disco Stu, Jay Sherman, and Duffman. BRB, turning in my Simpsons fan-card.
Jay Sherman caused Groening to remove his name from the episode so you’re OK.
And Duffman was a bit of a prick, too.
¡Ándale, ándale!
I liked the Speedy cartoons too.
Also, apropos of nothing, I put a new starter on the truck. Much happier, now.
Baby steps.
Crony is as crony does.
Online retail giant Amazon will be opening two new headquarters — one in New York and one in Virginia. Each state gave the billion-dollar company gobs of money to woo it to open up shop, but Virginia went a step further and gave Amazon something that should worry every journalist and anyone else concerned with transparency and the connection between the State and Big Business.
Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, a Democrat, has promised Amazon that the Old Dominion State would give the company two days’ notice about any Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests. This is being done to allow Amazon “to seek a protective order or other appropriate remedy.” So, Amazon will be given a heads up about anyone looking into the business so they can shut it down.
The Virginia government also promised it would only disclose what is required under applicable law, cooperate “with the company,” in responding, and “limit disclosure, refuse to disclose, and redact and/or omit portions of materials to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law.”
Time for DC to annex NoVa and for WV and VA to reunite.
I’ll say that that’s a pretty common thing in any non-disclosure agreement; it’s in my basic form I use (even FOIA when I do contracts with public entities). But in context with everything else they’re getting…
JFC.
To Boston’s credit, they offered Amazon precisely nothing for HQ2. No tax breaks, nothing. Just “this is a good place for you”, but nothing beyond that.
Sometimes the local pols do the right thing. Not often enough, but sometimes.
Except they were still proposing it be in Boston.
Sure, they would have liked the jobs. They just weren’t willing to lift their skirts for it.
They were proposing the old Suffolk Downs raceway, not Boston proper, which probably would have been a win for that area.
…the Old Dominion State would give the company two days’ notice about any Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests…
I wonder how this squares with “equal protection”?
I see you’ve already forgot the FYTW clause, I see we’re going to have to hold you back again this year Mr. Gadfly.
Aww, nuts.
*Looks down at shoes, shuffles feet*
Hmmm.
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/the_conners/
So almost 100% of critics love the show, and 2/3 of the public hate it. Sounds about right.
I was thinking the other day about how critics so rarely identify the best comedies. And it’s because they really just aren’t that smart, despite all their self-preening. They really like movies best that slam home obvious themes and plot twists, and act like they’re all ‘sophisticated’. But for example, critics never liked “Holy Grail” or “Life of Brian”, which were incredible Python — but “Meaning of Life”, their later effort which was far too obvious and is no true Python fan’s favorite movie of theirs, was adored by the critics — because this time the critics could actually get the jokes.
They’re the ones who think we’re populists and alt-right.
I finally found the Prius I would drive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFbvYeFO8w4
“Supercars of Philadelphia
8 hours ago
2k likes and I bring these lads a lamborghini that throws flames to do this on next ”
Hmm.
Nicee
More Florida updates: Manual recounts have been ordered in the Senate and Agriculture Commissioner races (required by law since they’re within 0.25%). Ron DeSantis is officially the next governor of Florida.
Couple of notes:
Bill Nelson lost votes in the recount (margin went from 0.15% to 0.154%)
The recount covers ballots that weren’t counted either because of overvotes or undervotes. Which means mine is going to be in there since I left the Senate race blank.
In the future I’m going to write-in “None of the Above” when I want to skip a race.
How does that work? They decide you wanted to vote for someone and then checked it for you?
.LOL
That’s great. They’re such sore losers.
Losers for real.
Tim Burton + timeless Art Deco setting + Michael Keaton + Danny Devito?
I swear, if there is no Batman crossover easter egg in this movie (Flying Graysons cameo?), I am going to spinning roundhouse kick the first 80 year old woman I see.
You were probably going to do that anyway though.
True.
You’re worried that Tim Burton movie won’t be self-referential?
So, some 5 million stories were written about this, and not once did anyone in the media fact check a single aspect of it? Like, what gas station did he go to? I’m stunned. STUNNED. I’m sure the person who broke the story will face the music.
Love it!
My passport says I’m 72, but from the inside looking out things look I’m no more that 35 (as long as I stay away from mirrors).
As someone once told me “Your eyeballs never get wrinkled.”
Internet at home is being shitty. Just used this burner phone to check on the patreon, thanks to whichever of you fine bastards it was that took the first plunge.
More will come soon, I’m sure.
Yo CPRM,
You got a venmo or something? Im not in the position to sign up for a recurring thing, but I can do a one time deal.
Let me know at k4lcpd8axwwd@opayq.com
I will get a hold of u when i’m on PC. Takes forever for me to type on phone.
Sign up for Patreon, then cancel when the first payment goes through? I believe you only get charged on 1st of the month.
I thought about that, but it sounds like CPRM can make alternative arrangements for one time payments.
Sell merch and I’ll buy something.
When I was a kid of like 5 y/o, my mom used to crank this song up to window rattling volume when she cleaned the house. I never really got thank her for introducing me to Duane Allman…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFpOqGrjcZ0
ot, of course. Blame the scotch
When I leave at 7:00am on my morning commute, the people tend to be in less of a rush than the people who leave at 8:00. By 9:00am, the commuters are back to normal speed. Those 8:00am commuters are fucking assholes that scowl, push and elbow on the train. Must be a microcosm of life in there somewhere.
Whenever I think of commutes in Tokyo, I just think of that scene from this segment with all the commuters moving as a single mass, except 4x the size.
https://youtu.be/qWJ-kGuOA_Q
Good reference. ?? which is why I ?♀️.
Fuck Comcast.
https://www.phillymag.com/news/2018/11/14/comcast-fires-proud-boys-employee/
And what’s that lesson that corporate half-wits never seem to learn about capitulating to the screeching goons?
I now can’t help but wonder how many NOI members Comcast employs.
“Under threat” meaning the gravy train is being criticized.
Can I petition Comcast to make a stronger statement to never tolerate communist words, actions, and organizing by its employees? My family and I’m sure many other here have had their families and loved ones threatened and harmed by them too.
Then they’d have to fire half of NBC.
Yes.
I suspect they might have actually wanted for their own comfort to not be around the guy if they have their facts right about him; just because the screechers agree with them doesn’t make them wrong. They probably just see it as a good business decision to eliminate a risk.
This. It’s just about optics. The facts don’t matter.
I meant the other thing, though: maybe they think this is the kind of guy who will eventually be bad around the office and generate problems they don’t need. I’m empathizing with the employer because of my own business experience and defensive, pre-emptive tendency. I would do it: I would fire someone I was convinced was a bigot because I wouldn’t want for risk his creating a problem for my staff later. As a manufacturing ace, I almost always side with industry latitude: run your business the way you want to.
He’s worked there for ten years, but I guess Trump may have made him go mad and become bad around the office.
From the biz owner side, what you’re saying is reasonable and I’m assuming legal. However, from a free speech POV, I despise this kind of shit. Free speech has to be more than just a legal standard by which the govt can’t restrict expression. Any free society needs to accept that some people are going to hold opinions that aren’t mainstream. Societal pressure to limit free speech can be more stifling that govt restrictions in certain cases.
Yes, but what facts? The reasons to fire him give are
a) he is a Proud Boy
b) he made an OK sign
That’s it.
Just got home after it decided to snow 8” from noon to 5pm. My 20min commute turned into a 2 hr one.
Crap.
I decided this was a good day to work from home for just that reason.
Wise choice.
Fuck snow. Figuratively, not literally.
Hope you had a good audiobook handy.
I had XM radio playing standup comedy.
Wise choice. Gotta keep the temper from flaring up. Serenity Now didn’t work IIRC.
I also had to keep screwing with the wipers,defrost, and dodge people going 5mph.
High was 77 today.
Cold front’s through though. All the way down to 59 degrees tonight. Time to turn on the heat!
(My house doesn’t have heat)
(ok, technically it does, but it’s just a heating coil in the air handler. It doesn’t do much.)
You and your buddy are just out to have a good time, get a little tipsy and the fucking cops scoop you up and dump you out in the middle of nowhere and you’re like “Earl, where the hell are we?” and Earl’s all like, “How the hell am I supposed to know?” and you’re like, “What the hell was in those crab apples?” and Earl’s all like, “Beats me, dude, but I ain’t never drink again! Let’s try to figure out how to get home!” and then you both try not get eaten by a gotdamn cougar.
“I ain’t never drink again” really means “I’ll drink again in a few minutes.”
Well if that ain’t the gosh darn truth.
+1 whenever I’m at a private work drinking party
That reminds me that I want to make hard cider out of my crab apples next year. I must have thrown out about 40 lbs of it this year.
Do crab apples have enough sugar to make a good cider? I remember them tasting sour enough to pickle your tongue.
Inappropriate commercial that isn’t inappropriate here. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fifd17fCZiw
Damn, when the dude’s game makes your product look superfluous…
Edmund Fitzgerald Porter for tonight.
My commute home tonight tripled in time due to snow and stupid people. ❄❄❄???
I’m late and all, I know. But this is awesome shit.
https://play.google.com/music/m/Byuxhheoelyiuads4zqmv2khdiy?t=The_Blind_Leading_the_Blind_-_Unknown_artist
Also, company done did cash that sweet sweet Series A investor check. Party time, dickheads.
Part hard, Hugeman.
Which part?
Why was the y gone? PARTY HARD, HUGEMAN.
Starting to sound Village Peopley here. You have him with a hard part at the Y.
and immediately below is HM with some large semen…
I Took My Semen And Put It Under My Microscope
Truly the hero we deserve.
Enough about how you cut your hair and sued your fans, Lars.
My morning commute.
best comment: Imagine waiting your whole life inside a ballsack, getting ready for ya big moment, just to end up in a sock
We getting another post tonight (this morning)?
In 7 min
“Laura Palmer” was cute. As were Audrey and several of the other women in “Twin Peaks.” Maybe Q can scare up some nice pictures of their twin peaks?
?