Tuesday Morning Links

Well, Election Day is here.  Everybody make their predictions in the comments.  I’ll give mine now: the Republicans hang on by a thread to a majority in the House but we won’t know that for a few days as several elections end up being too close to call tonight. They also gain 3-4 seats in the Senate and solidify their majority there. Not sure how the statehouse races go, but it looks like Dems will gain a governorship or two.

I believe this is what they call a “metaphor”

Sports news: the Cowboys have no offense and their QB is not going to make it in the NFL. Your hockey winners were: Montreal, New Jersey, Washington, Boston and Philadelphia (with their idiotic mascot). UCL returns today , and matchday 4 promises to bring a lot more clarity to who will advance to the knockout rounds from several groups.  Have fun watching if you’re lucky enough to get the chance.

Today is the birthday of: Ottoman Sultan Sueiman the Magnificent, composer John Philip Sousa, basketball inventor and Canadian-AMERICAN James Naismith, hurler Walter Johnson, actress (before she became an activist) Sally Field, singer Glenn Frey, actor Ethan Hawke, football player and Army Ranger Pat Tillman, the lovely Emma Stone, and tennis star Ana Ivanovic.

That’s my Ted: always driving drunk into a river and killing interns without consequence

Its also the day on which the following is celebrated (or reviled) for happening: Canada celebrated their first Thanksgiving Day, the commies bombed the Winter Palace in Petrograd to start the October Revolution, the first electric razor was patented, the first carrier landing was made with a. jet airplane, “Meet The Press” made its debut, Ted Kennedy was first elected Senator (and he celebrated with a drink…or 12), the Ayatollah took control of the Iranian government, Fernando Valenzuela became the first rookie to win the Cy Young award, Boris Yeltsin outlawed the communist party in Russia, Holyfield defeated Bowe for the heavyweight title and Art Modell announced that the Cleveland Browns were officially moving to Baltimore.

OK, now on to…the links!

So stunning and brave

Hey dumbass, when your ilk say this every two years without fail, it kinda loses its luster. Also, if you really gave a shit, you’d be working all the time on issues, not just for a few weeks every couple of years in an attempt to keep your face in the spotlight. Also also: shut up and dance.

This is a very refreshing sight. I hope the trend continues.

If this surprises you at all, you’ve been living under a rock. In fact, I daresay everything before the ellipses should probably be considered a scientific law by now.

If you think for a second that you actually own your own property in San Francisco, then think again. Jesus, I could just imagine them coming to collect that fine in a city that hasn’t all but confiscated everyone’s guns.  This is almost as outrageous a violation of their rights as I can imagine.

L-O-fucking-L

Just when you think a city government couldn’t get any more absurd with their priorities, Chicago says “hold my beer”. Not only are they stupid as shit-looking, they’re going to cause accidents, they’re going to become expensive to maintain (and yes, the city will ultimately pay for them), and they take away valuable spaces for…the cars people must drive to come into these areas and spend money.

OK, create a catchy headline I could have made up for this, because I’m drawing a blank. I suppose it could be something to do with “Hamburglar” but I can’t quite come up with it. Either way…what a dumbass.

You know, if he would have moved to do this a month ago, the election would be a lock. I’m still skeptical, but not because of Trump himself. Rather because of those he’s surrounded by (on both sides of the aisle) seeing the value in a perpetual police state.

Sometimes the birthdays are skimpy. Today is one of those days. But I’m gonna do my best. And yes, that will include The Eagles. And also a poorly-produced Miami Vice audition tape. Man, the 80’s was shit awesome.

Anyway, go vote. Or don’t. I don’t give a shit about that as much as I do your ability to bitch about all of the assholes in here.

Comments

627 responses to “Tuesday Morning Links”

  1. Old Man With Candy

    What’s more pernicious, the lack of electoral choice or the illusion of electoral choice?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The lack of illusory electoral choices

    2. AlexinCT

      Vote early and vote often??

    3. CPRM

      Double dipping greedy Je…Old Man!

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Thanks for pimping my Twatter feed. And I’ll see your pimp and raise you one.

        1. WTF

          Ha! I didn’t know any of the county board candidates, they had no party affiliation listed on the ballot, and you were supposed to vote for 7 out of about 11 choices. So I wrote in STEVE SMITH.

          1. AND BY WROTE IN, MEAN….

          2. WTF

            HEY! VOTING BOOTH SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE!

    4. If I am pro electoral choice, does that mean the constituents can choose to abort their elected politician up to the point where said politician is sworn in?

      1. AlexinCT

        Now this is a proposal that should be on the ballot…

      2. Nephilium

        I think even after swearing in, they aren’t a viable politician until they’ve actually made it into the office.

    5. PieInTheSky

      Then fact that you have a choice between being hit with a bat made of either pine or fir does not mean you do not have a choice. The choice between having your left testicle (or boob for the womenfolk) or your right one chewed by a rabid weasel is still a choice.

      1. WTF

        Being forced to pay protection money is not made legitimate just because you are given the choice of paying either the Genovese family or the Gambino family.

        1. PieInTheSky

          No. But it is still a choice.

        2. prolefeed

          A rundown of forms of government, stripped of the attempt at legitimacy indoctrinated into citizens at government schools:

          Democracy: the mob chooses between the functional equivalent of the Genovese family or the Gambino family ruling them.

          Constitutional Republic: the mob chooses between the functional equivalent of the Genovese family or the Gambino family ruling them, but with representation from people chosen by the mob, with the representatives who win the elections publicly anointed as made men or women of the Genovese family or the Gambino family, so long as they swear to follow rules which they have no intention of following. Eventually becomes Democracy.

          Monarchy: Either the Genovese family or the Gambino family rules via hereditary succession, with inbreeding amongst the rulers.

          Socialism: Either the Genovese family or the Gambino family rules, but with an insane economic model that incentives people not to work, plus a police state to futilely try to stave off the inevitable collapse.

          Fascism: Socialism with the pretense that people own stuff, even though effective control is with either the Genovese family or the Gambino family.

          Communism: Socialism, good and hard.

          National Socialism: the worst aspects of both socialism and fascism, plus racism. And concentration camps.

          1. I like it – succinct.

          2. Count Potato

            Sicilian: Genovese, Gambino, and a bunch of other families rule, along with the Church, which incentivizes earning money and being charitable.

          3. PieInTheSky

            Anarchy: either Genovese or Gambino become government. See previous post

          4. Fourscore

            So, the difference between Heaven and Hell is that in Hell they have elections?

    6. Ayn Random Variation

      I was just hating everybody then I came here and saw this post and feel a little better.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        Trust yourself: hate always pays off.

        1. Ayn Random Variation

          I can’t afford to get fired. I was thinking about putting a sign on my office door saying “politics free zone”, but that’s a pussy move like safe spaces. I’ll just have to nut up and nod along. There’s no point in engagement in NYC

          1. Democratic Hitler

            How about a sign that just says “fuck off” ?

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday Electoral Edition: Voting is a Bitch

    Oh, I voted all right. I moved on that ballot like a bitch. I got there, w/ blood coming out of my wherever! I’m auto attracted to polling stations—I just start filling in ovals. It’s like a magnet. And when ur registered, they let u do it. U can do anything.#Grabthembytheballot

    1. This is why I don’t click Twitter links

      1. But you’ve gotta click this one just for the responses:
        https://twitter.com/ezraklein/status/1059553661586567168?s=21

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Let’s just have everyone vote for the party of their choice and let the parties sort out the actual representation. That will be great.

        2. Count Potato

          WTF is a “House popular vote”?

          1. WTF

            It’s a new Democrat talking point which has no basis in reality but which they will use to try to illegitimize an unfavorable outcome in the House.

          2. Ayn Random Variation

            Wait, you mean if the Dems don’t win the House, they’re NOT just going to quietly accept it?

          3. AlexinCT

            Heads will assplode.

          4. Pat

            It’s what you say when you’re so fucking retarded that you think seats in the house of representatives are picked by the electoral college just like the presidency.

          5. westernsloper

            Best Waffle.

          6. Count Potato

            Pumpkin. It’s savory enough that you can eat it with eggs and it still works.

          7. Rebel Scum

            “House popular vote”

            Some new talking point. I suppose it means getting the most votes across all races combined. Democrats have renounced the concept of divided sovereignty and districted representation. It’s retarded.

    2. PBRstreetgang

      this person is joking right?

  3. AlexinCT

    If you think for a second that you actually own your own property in San Francisco, then think again. Jesus, I could just imagine them coming to collect that fine in a city that hasn’t all but confiscated everyone’s guns. This is almost as outrageous a violation of their rights as I can imagine.

    I was out there just last month for a conference, and what a shit show. This whole thing is predicated on pissed off hotel owners sicking government against people that have hurt their monopoly and ability to charge insane rates for shitty services. This is what having government pick winners & losers looks like, but these idiot progs can’t even fire a couple of neurons to see that what happens when government has this power is that the unaccountable bureaucrats run a system where connected make good, the dependent barely get enough as long as they stay on the plantation, the middle class is destroyed, and the rest are just all serfs.

    1. CPRM

      “There is no affordable housing! You, over there, your rents are low because you’re not providing adequate housing! I wouldn’t live there! So I’m going to shut down this slum!”

      1. Luther Baldwin

        “WE will perpetuate the housing crisis, thank you very much.”

    2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      Classic Bootleggers and Baptists.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday Electoral Edition: <a href="https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211370419&quot; title="T(ards) E(lecting) A(nother) M(oron)” target=”_blank” >T(ards) E(lecting) A(nother) M(oron)

    ***The Official “I Voted Straight Democratic Ticket” thread***

    *EDIT FAIRY CAN NO HELP YE*

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I tarded that one up

      1. AlexinCT

        Yes, yes you did…

      2. Rebel Scum

        Yea, Quit monkeying around.

  5. AlexinCT

    OK, create a catchy headline I could have made up for this, because I’m drawing a blank. I suppose it could be something to do with “Hamburglar” but I can’t quite come up with it. Either way…what a dumbass.

    PATRIARCHY!

    I got nothing else either…

    Maybe that joke about the universe being in competition with whatever where whatever is trying to create a better idiot proof system, but the univers keeps creating better and bigger idiots…

    1. straffinrun

      You should see what he did when Wendy turned him down.

      1. *simultaneously narrows gaze and slow claps*

    2. Suthenboy

      Dude threw his life away for beer money. Fuck that idiot.

      1. AlexinCT

        What is worse Suthen? Telling people to hold your beer while you engage in some deadly stunt, or doing what this moron did? Inquiring minds want to know.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday Electoral Edition: Extra Tardy Edition

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Tard Tuesday Electoral Edition: Sciencing Our Way to a Better World

      Excerpts from Scientific American’s Twitter Feed

      Are Whites threatened by a rise in ethnic diversity across the Western world? Here’s what research shows.

      Noam Chomsky calls Trump and Republican allies “criminally insane.” The great linguist and political critic remains hopeful that we can overcome global warming and other threats. http://bit.ly/2JF7gO9 (By @Horganism)

      Blog: Science can help society grapple with the horrors of modern gun violence

      Immigration is one of the top issues for voters in the 2018 U.S. Midterm Elections. Here’s a thread with some of the latest research on this hot-button topic.

      1. Count Potato

        It’s sad that all these once excellent publications have been overrun with politics.

        1. mr simple

          The long, slow march through the institutions is nearly complete.

      2. Suthenboy

        I dont think words mean what they think they mean.
        The shitting on the credibility of science is, in my eyes, the greatest crime the left has committed. So far.

      3. AlexinCT

        It is a shame that a publication I once revered and read when I was a young and aspiring STEM dude, has fallen this far. This shit is as far away from science and as close to cult/religion as you can get. I remember when the left told us the SoCons would ruing the world for the rest of us with their unscientific beliefs, and here we are 3 or 4 decades later, and it is all being done by marxist leftists.

      4. Soyboy

        The rise of scientism is something anyone with a bit of awareness should have predicted (and probably did). When something has a great reputation, by virtue of strings of successes, charlatans and power-seekers will seize on and avail themselves of that reputation.

        And they’ll mostly get aware with it. “You’re not smart/educated enough to criticize these things.”

        1. Soyboy

          away with it**

  7. PieInTheSky

    Have you had your tonsils out? If you’re a millennial, the answer is probably no. Tonsillectomies, once all the rage in the mid-to-late 20th century, have fallen off sharply in recent decades.

    They may not have fallen off far enough, though. A new study suggests that seven of every eight tonsillectomies in Britain weren’t actually necessary.

    http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/d-brief/2018/11/05/tonsillectomy-tonsils-removed-unnecessary/#.W-GQguKxVaQ

    1. You know who else did something that caused rage during the mid- to late-20th century?

      1. The Umbrella Corporation?

        1. CPRM

          -1 Raccoon City

      2. Elderly drivers?

      3. straffinrun

        The original Sargon of Akkad?

      4. PBRstreetgang

        Tom Morello?

      5. Tonio

        Steroid-using weightlifters?

    2. Pat

      Still have mine. I’ll die with them unless they cause me some debilitation that’s riskier than surgery.

    3. Evan from Evansville

      My first-ish memory was getting my tonsils removed. I was 4. I just kept getting strep throat. I wore a Ninja Turtle gown. The doc had the face mask on and donned one of those old-timey lights on his head. I drank the snot-colored and flavored sedative. He had a crazy look in his eye.

      “You’re going to go to sleep! And I’m going to be inside your mouth!”

      Those were the words I heard right before I lost consciousness.

      Everyone tells you that you get all of the ice cream you want after getting your tonsils taken out. I didn’t get any. Weirdly, I was given copious amounts of chili and perhaps that’s the reason that it is still my favorite food. I have a pot on the stove all ready to go but the simmering.

      *Stares coldly at wall, unblinking*

      1. >>“You’re going to go to sleep! And I’m going to be inside your mouth!”

        OMWC perks up.

    4. Mojeaux

      50. Still got mine.

      1. whiz

        63 and still have mine.

    5. Tonio

      Tonsillectomies were basically a scam by the medical profession.

      1. Evan from Evansville

        I never got strep again.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        eh, two out of three of my kids had them removed. The first one had glue ear and the ENT said it was the worst case he had seen in a year, and the second was just constantly sick. Both improved immediately afterwards. The third didn’t need it done.

      3. Tonio

        I should have said the near-mandatory tonsillectomies that were a rite of passage for kids whose parents could pay for it in the mid-twentieth century.

        I had mine out and continued to have ENT problems.

    6. Raphael

      Millennial lacking tonsils here, #feelsspecialsnowflakeman

    7. Warty

      Maybe prophylactic amputations aren’t such a good idea after all.

      *Bombs a synagogue*

  8. westernsloper

    Dickpixfordems

    I’m volunteering. Who’s with me?

  9. AlexinCT

    If you own any Under Armour stock, sell it.

    1. Since when did the entirety of female sexuality, both consensual and non, get lumped into the #metoo movement?

      Feminism really is the ugly girls lashing out because they can’t get men to look at them adoringly.

      1. AlexinCT

        You can say that last part again Trashy.

    2. ::checks to see how this might effect Tom Herman’s recruiting strategy::

      Nevermind, they’re a Nike school. He’ll be fine.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        TEXAS IS:

        [ ] BACK
        [X] NOT BACK

        1. Brett L

          Tom Herman needs to stop being a whiny little bitch about our close losses. I blame coming up under Urban Meyer.

          1. ::shakes fist::

        2. Don Escaped Texas

          toldjaso:

          Don Escaped Texas on October 30, 2018 at 8:11 pm
          Don’s Most Over-rated (first Committee-style!)
          1 Syracuse
          2 Virginia
          3 UCF
          4 Kentucky
          5 Washington State
          5 Boston College
          7 NC State
          8 Notre Dame
          9 Iowa State
          10 LSU
          11 Florida
          12 Texas
          12 WVa

          1. Brett L

            TAMU has to be up there. I’m surprised ESPN couldn’t find a way to keep them in the top 25 with 4 losses.

          2. Don Escaped Texas

            I’ll have my update out after today’s Committee but will wait on Baked’s NFL notions before I post at Glib: I’m too random and OT to cram it in any other time on a respectable site that is dedicated to philosophy and breasteses.

            My guess is that the Committee will get A&M about right. For what it’s worth, I hate all things A&M, but they’ve still had the second hardest season so far, so their terrible results aren’t surprising. My list isn’t about ability; it’s about confirmation bias and how gullible and obviously wrong people often are. Pointing out that others are wrong is pretty much the easiest way to be right just about all the time; where logic and data are at play, it’s shooting fish in a barrel.

    3. The Last American Hero

      But who’s going to protect this house?

  10. Rebel Scum

    Waters (L) for senate, McAdams (R) for house, abstained on attorney, and ‘no’ on two discriminatory property tax exception amendments. And keep your dammed “I Voted” sticker. I don’t need the gov’t treating me like a child leaving the doctors office.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      I don’t need the gov’t treating me like a child leaving the doctors office.

      Here in Northern Illinois, we don’t get that sort of condescension. At our polls, if you vote and don’t cry, you get a Tootsie Roll Pop.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I thought that was the incentive for climbing into your polling place.

        1. *stands to begin thunderous ovation*

    2. Pope Jimbo

      The old coots at my polling station get perturbed if you don’t take the sticker. I think Seinfeld stole the ribbon gag from them.

    3. Endless Mike

      Hey if there was candy, I’d take that.

    4. Not Adahn

      The hourly workers are required to bring in their sticker to get paid for voting time.

      Then again, they get paid for voting time. And overtime.

      #beingsalariedisascam

  11. TrueNeutralPaladin

    So in a hilarious turn of events, there was a measure on the ballot asking if the county should become a sanctuary county for gun owners should the state attempt to interfere with our Second Amendment rights. Hilarious, of course, for turning Democrats’ own tactics against them. I didn’t know in advance – I’ve been sick of politics lately and thus lazy in that regard- but I was pleased to vote “Yes”. 😉

    1. Tonio

      “Sanctuary county for gun owners” is some epic trolling.

      Welcome aboard. Now fuck off, Tulpa.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Jane Fonda: “Midterms Are the Most Important Elections of My Lifetime”

    Until the next one.

    1. Drake

      Isn’t she like a 100? And I bet she voted for the assholes who got us into Vietnam and fucked it up by the numbers.

      1. Fourscore

        Actually Jane and I share the same birth year. I know exactly how old she is and you are pretty doggone close, Drake

      2. Not Adahn

        Was it ever determined if she actually banged NVA while she was down there?

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      The NPC generator: Most important elections in history.

  13. Rufus the Monocled

    Remember Anna Merlan? The arrogant feminist chick who helped launch Robby Soave’s career during the UVA?

    “Anna Merlan

    Verified account

    @annamerlan
    Follow Follow @annamerlan
    More
    One of the weirdest things about this era is that we have a president who openly lusts after his own daughter and it’s considered gauche to talk about it
    3:44 PM – 5 Nov 2018”

    Yup. Still a poor *investigative* journalist.

    1. Suthenboy

      Wow.
      I am not sure how she could get creepier.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Heh. I didn’t think about that. There’s perhaps some projection going on.

        First rule of Progressive Club: ALWAYS PROJECT.

    2. WTF

      Oh yeah? Do you have a journalism degree from Columbia?!

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        No, but I play one on television

    3. Michael

      Hot damn. There’s some daddy issues projection if I’ve ever seen any.

      1. Michael

        Shorter Anna Merlan:

        “Why doesn’t dad return my phone calls???”

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Return phone calls? That shit was in the rear view mirror years and years ago.

          Now it is “Why did my dad change his name and phone number? Where the hell did he go? The checks stopped showing up!”

    4. Pope Jimbo

      Well, that seems fair. After all the Minnesoda media won’t even consider talking about our rising superstar brother fucker*. This article really does have some incriminating photos of Omar being in touch with the man she claims disappeared from her life in 2011.

      *She really didn’t fuck her brother, but she did marry him to get some sweet financial aid from NDSU

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        We’ll have to judge her based on her cultural norms of getting anything you can for your family. In that light she is golden.

      2. Fourscore

        Checks Middle East porn

      3. R C Dean

        She really didn’t fuck her brother

        And we know this how, exactly?

        1. Pope Jimbo

          She was still living with her current (and former I guess) husband at the time?

          If you look at their time at NDSU it becomes pretty clear that she “married” her brother so they could rack up student financial aid.

          1. R C Dean

            She was still living with her current (and former I guess) husband at the time?

            And?

            she “married” her brother so they could rack up student financial aid.

            Could have been “double dipping”, IYKWIMAITYD.

  14. creech

    After a week in Texas, I see the political ads there are just as retarded as in Penna. In Penna. however, they tie Republicans to a a wicked Trump whereas in Texas the Republican candidates are proud to be on Trump’s side. But both sides are trying to scare voters (even if msm commentators think only Trump is trying to scare voters) with “he’ll slash your social security” or “do you want illegal immigrant gang members invading your neighborhood.”
    A former colleague in D/FW area (a delegate to a national GOP convention) supports Trump but had hoped his “diarrhea of the mouth” would have ended when he was inaugurated. He believes Trump rhetoric will cost the GOP at least two House seats in Texas alone. Nationally, I think the Dems pick up 30 seats and take the House but GOP will control Senate by 3 or 4 seats (another oppty for large gains goes away due to Trump hatred). Far from fulfilling their campaign promises to be independent, and “work across the aisle,” all the new Dem congresscritters will jump to support Pelosi and pile on the “Impeach Trump” bandwagon. I really expect to see lots of gleeful faces tomorrow on the non-Fox news and talk shows.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Our local Team Blue asshole has been stuffing our mailbox daily (and sometimes twice daily) with scary campaign ads prominently featuring his Team Red opponent’s picture next to the huge headline “CHILD MOLESTER.”

      Of course, you know who we’re voting for.

      1. WTF

        My wife and I (north Jersey) both voted for the first time in about 10 years. Straight Republican because the Dems need to be punished for their behavior. Not that it will likely happen in NJ even with a corrupt cunt like Menendez, but still.

      2. Just Say’n

        It’s like they want you to vote for the Team Red candidate

        1. Old Man With Candy

          I generally don’t vote for Team Red candidates, but this will be an exception.

          1. AlexinCT

            I have felt now for too long that I am forced to vote for team red to stop the idiocy and evil of team blue. After the Kavenaugh debacle I am now convinced that team blue people would rather destroy the country and its people than lose their grip on power, which forces me to keep doing this even though I had become tired of it.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            Yeh well one could only hope enough people think like you to at least not give them the House.

            If anything to SHUT OBAMA UP. Or at least, we can pile on him for being useless.

          3. I would’ve liked to have been able to write in a candidate, but fuck Jennifer Wexton. She campaigned on getting rid of the tax cuts. The same ones that put hundreds of dollars into each of my paychecks this year.

          4. AlexinCT

            The democrats want to get rid of the tax cuts because it basically got rid of the loophole that allowed blue states super rich democrats to deduct their state taxes from their fed taxes. Once that ability went away and blue state taxes became penalties for these team blue rich people that used to get away with pretending they liked high taxes because they had a loophole to avoid them anyway, it became a problem. But the democrats are totes against the tax cuts because they were favoring the 1%ers.. Yeah…

          5. Jarflax

            You want to send the competition to DC?

    2. Nephilium

      I am so happy to have gotten free Pandora Premium a while back. Between not turning on the TV and just streaming shows after the fact, I’ve heard none of the radio commercials, only a handful of video ads, and just tossed the piles of fliers that do their best to make me hate their candidate more (Fuck you DeWine, and Fuck you too Cordray).

  15. Rebel Scum

    This is a very refreshing sight.

    Something similar happened for teh gays after the Pulse nightculb shooting. Self defense is a right and virtue.

  16. Drake

    I’ll go vote after work. My son just turned 18 and wants to go with me. Last night he said he was going to vote for any Libertarians he sees on the ballot, otherwise Republican.

    Bob Menendez is supposed behind in the polls but I’ll still be surprised if his thoroughly corrupt, bribe-taking, under-age-whoring, worthless hide isn’t reelected.

    1. WTF

      Just remember how the Dems roll, if Hugin’s margin of victory is small, the Dems will manufacture enough fraudulent votes to put Menendez over the top.

      1. Drake

        Sure. It’s not as if winning a fraudulent election would tarnish Bob Menendez’s reputation.

  17. Oh, My Beloved Country, You Let Us Down

    I am disgusted and frankly, glad that both of my parents aren’t alive to see this.

    America, you let all of us down. You have slithered into the slime. You have lost your moral compass of dignity and grace, replacing it with rude, crass, uneducated, creepy, prejudice, bigoted, hate, and violent behavior. There is nothing “great” about our country anymore; and given the sheer volume of people supporting this…maybe there never was.

    America has done so much good throughout our history. Countries all over the globe have looked to the United States as a beacon of hope, filled with people that truly have the priorities of humanity, the environment, and our mutually shared interests at heart. This is no longer so. As Trump, his cohorts, and the Republicans and rabble that support him remove every vestige of decency and moral compass that was once a herald of our country, the world shakes its head.

    Various terms have been thrown around including the fact that American has finally succumbed to the greed of capitalism. Those that are in charge clutch their bank accounts closely and leave a path of destruction in their wake.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      When fascism actually comes, nobody will be able to recognize it.

      1. AlexinCT

        I say we have already had fascism-light for more than a decade (if not more). The Obama years was all about government picking winners & losers, and that is the central tenet of fascism. With the left now unhinged that they no longer have power, I can see them dropping fascism-light for the real deal, be it full bore fascism or even all out marxism, camps an all.

        1. Floridaman

          We have had fascism light, since fdr, and the government has only grown over the years.

        2. Don Escaped Texas

          Dick Cheney under-appreciated again

          1. AlexinCT

            Why blame Cheney? GWB was a socialist. WTF do you think that “Compassionate Conservatism” was all about huh?

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      “…This topic is one that has often confused many liberals. We research, fact check, and verify and then when we give the conservatives the information they simply reject it. You see, it doesn’t play into their small-minded idea of what is happening and therefore, doesn’t exist.”

      https://democracyguardian.com/conservatives-just-arent-smart-enough-to-know-the-difference-e03b336324b5

      The projection is powerful with this one.

      Yeh. It’s the opposite honey. The progressive left are like that.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        “…You see, conservatives simply can’t tell the difference between reality and their own version of what is going on. They don’t know credible versus outlandish, verifiable versus fiction.”

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Novi is a loon pretending to be an intellectual. A true believer, if you will.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          There’s no way these people read history. None.

          1. AlexinCT

            Actually Rufus, I think they read books like “1984”, “Brave new World”, and a lot of the other dystopian work produced by people warning about the evils of a top down “supposedly benevolent” system, and figured these were instruction manuals.

          2. Tonio

            I’m sure they read A People’s History of the United States.

            (Hi, Rufus. No, I’m not working.)

      3. Rebel Scum

        The projection is powerful with this one.

        So much so that she should have “Panasonic” tattooed to her forehead.

    3. WTF

      Projection, it’s what they do.

    4. straffinrun

      You may not be living well if you’re glad your parents are dead.

    5. Various terms have been thrown around including the fact that American has finally succumbed to the greed of capitalism

      Scratch away the surface and you get a commie 10/10 times.

      1. Tonio

        And we are quite possibly LESS capitalistic than earlier in our history due to the vast number of regulations. Capitalism is being redefined before our very eyes.

        1. AlexinCT

          As soon as government gets in the business of deciding who wins and who loses, we are not really doing capitalism. I am not even sure I would call it crony capitalism at that point.

    6. l0b0t

      America… You have lost your moral compass of dignity and grace…

      Teddy Roosevelt held huge campaign rallies where he called (his former bosom chum) Taft “a Puzzlewhip” and said Taft “…has the brains of a retarded hamster”. The broadsheets published about Jefferson and his relations with Sally Hemings were quite detailed in their accusations. Hell, Jefferson’s own VPOTUS was a paid agent of the King of Spain who was working to subvert the Louisiana Purchase. Do they no longer get taught history in the schools?

      1. Nephilium

        History is still taught:

        1) White Europeans came over and stole America from the native people
        2) White Europeans used biological weapons against the native people
        3) White Europeans caused World War 1
        4) Capitalism caused the Great Depression, and we were only saved once the Great Society was formed
        5) White Europeans were literally Nazis
        6) Communism was tried by the wrong top men, it will still work with the right top men
        7) America elected a literally Nazi to president

        I think I got most of it there.

        1. WTF

          You forgot:
          8) Democrats freed the slaves
          9) Democrats passed the Civil Rights Act
          10) Republicans founded the KKK
          etc. etc.

          1. Nephilium

            You are correct, I missed those teachings of history.

          2. AlexinCT

            So we are talking about marxist revisionist history…

          3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

            I thought Harriet Tubman and MLK freed the slaves.

      2. Tonio

        “Puzzlewit”

        Not to be confused with a “pizzle whip.”

        1. l0b0t

          Bloody awesome. Thanks. Now i want a pizzle whip AND I learned honeyfuggler.

    7. Brett L

      America to this loser: “Gargle with a bag of diseased dicks”

    8. Rebel Scum

      rude, crass, uneducated, creepy, prejudice, bigoted, hate, and violent behavior.

      But enough about AntiProfa.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Um, the violent behavior is a big part of why we did so well. All the rude, crass, uneducated creepy bigots decided that their neighbors who were just as rude, crass, uneducated, creepy bigots would be best left alone because they might get violent if you hassled them.

        So for the most part people were left alone to get their freak on. It is only recently as the threat of getting their ass beaten, that people are becoming more and more comfortable talking about their “right” to other peoples’ stuff.

        1. AlexinCT

          Well said Jimbo.

    9. “You have lost your moral compass of dignity and grace, replacing it with rude, crass, uneducated, creepy, prejudice, bigoted, hate, and violent behavior.”

      Why this discussion of Lyndon Baines Johnson?

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    Who’s the singer giving the finger? I presuming, naturally, it’s directed at an image of Trump.

      1. Drake

        Could just be debilitating arthritis.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        I thought it was Kathy Griffin who was trying to be more civil than her usual severed head commentary.

        1. westernsloper

          #metoo

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Looks like Cher

    2. Just Say’n

      Cher or possible Edward Scissorhands. To be fair, they might be the same person

      1. Never besmirch the good name of Edward Scissorhands by comparing him to Cher!

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      I belive the real Cher died in 1996. What you see is her many implants becoming sentient by feeding off her corpse.

      1. Caput Lupinum

        Calm down there, sin azúcar. Election day holds enough horrors.

      2. Tonio

        Paging Sug…

      3. Luther Baldwin

        I totally thought that was Kathy Griffin.

        Cher should get her money back.

  19. Rebel Scum

    If you think for a second that you actually own your own property

    Not related to that story, but as long as property taxes exist you can’t own your own property.

  20. Just Say’n

    What happens when the news media is exposed to have pushed some extremely flimsy gang rape allegations? Well, they just go on lying, pretending as if no one ever cared about such allegations.

    https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1058704277265440768

    https://twitter.com/sahilkapur/status/1059655049712943104

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Always double down, this is the Trump era after all.

      1. AlexinCT

        Don’t forget to add blame Trump for the climate your constant lying and propagandizing have created…

        1. commodious spittoon

          Boofieleaks
          @notwokieleaks

          “Brett Kavanaugh, you stand accused of causing bee colonies to collapse. You have the power to destroy bees merely by touching them.”

          *swarm of bees is released*

          Kav: “Get these fucking bees off me!”

          “Maybe you didn’t kill our bees, but this foul language is quite unbecoming.”

    2. Just Say’n

      I don’t fault them. They thought they could get away with pushing stories that defied common sense or even rudimentary scrutiny, because they figured Republicans in the Senate would drop the issue once Kavanaugh was confirmed. They thought wrong.

      I hope Republicans keep their majority in the Senate so these investigations continue.

      1. WTF

        My guess? Dems take the house but by only a few seats; Republicans pick up a couple of Senate seats.

        1. Just Say’n

          My prediction: no matter the outcome, progressives will still complain

          1. WTF

            You don’t exactly need to be the Amazing Kreskin to get that one right.

      2. westernsloper

        Continuing investigations is the only reason I hope the R’s keep the house. Eventually it will come out how much the Obama administration was using the FBI during 2016 election. It is unprecedented corruption. I half think that is why Obama drug himself out on the campaign trail.

        That and I want to see the D’s heads explode if they stay in the minority. It would be epic.

        1. AlexinCT

          Eventually it will come out how much the Obama administration was using the FBI during 2016 election.

          The desperation and complete abandonment of any kind of decorum or semblance of impartiality – by the insane left and their propagandists masquerading as a media or academia – is precisely driven by an abject fear that the American people might end up finding out how downright corrupt, dangerous, and evil the weaponized fed gov that the Obama years created and then unleashed on a political opponent in order to steal an election for that criminal Canckles was.

          Someone should attach power cords to Nixon in his coffin. I bet he is spinning so hard in there after finding out Obama not only got away with what he had just hoped to do, but then had the media that crucified him for trying cover for him, that he is generating megawats of power. Calling Obama Chocolate Nixon is not very appropriate.

          1. Jarflax

            Nixon was a piker. He resigned over a half assed coverup of a two bit burglary. Erasing a section of a tape then sending it to the investigators? Amateur hour. He goes down in history as this horrific corrupt president for things that were utterly commonplace. Politicians are crooks, it is now as it always was. Corruption without end.

            I won’t vote for libertarians anymore because the big L party is full of crypto proggies. Team D wants to take us full on DemSoc if not Commie/Fascist, and Team R thinks the loot barrel is still as full as it was under Ike so there is no need to cut spending. I can’t even look forward to tomorrow and the end of the political season because of course politics has become the NFL with a 365 day a year 10 year a decade always on season.

          2. R C Dean

            Eventually it will come out how much the Obama administration was using the FBI during 2016 election.

            I wouldn’t bet on it, at least not until it is a purely academic/historical matter.

        2. Fourscore

          ” I half think that is why Obama drugged himself, out on the campaign trail”.

          FIFY

      3. AlexinCT

        They thought they could get away with pushing stories that defied common sense or even rudimentary scrutiny, because they figured Republicans in the Senate would drop the issue once Kavanaugh was confirmed.

        Actually what they though was that these accusations would simply be enough to derail the nomination, ending any chance of a Trump appointment before (or after) the midterms, by which time, the fact that they had all colluded to destroy a man simply to keep their hold on political power, would either not matter or be blocked by them if back in power. The left was allowed to get away with shit like this for too long as team red asshats kept fighting by Marquis of Wueensbury rules while the team blue douchbags fought prison rules (shanking them repeatedly, then selling the corpse for a candy bar and a pack of cigarettes to the guy that would make them their prison bitch next).

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Did you expect them to be honourable and offer an apology?

      /pulls JS’s cheeks.

      So cute.

    4. Count Potato

      “The pro-Kavanaugh PR strategy was to conflate the serious allegations (Ford, Ramirez) with the ridiculous ones (rape on a boat, etc.) and portray the whole thing as a smear campaign.”

      Not only did the media and Democratic senators conflate them, the Ford and Ramirez allegations weren’t “serious”. They were all bullshit. The whole thing was an 11th hour smear campaign.

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      Kapur. Wow. Just.

      Wow.

      We should start a page: Woodchippers Hall of Fame. Where everyone submits an asshole for consideration. I’d start with that cunt judge in the Silk Road case and media personalities.

      I NEVER wish ill on people but I do with that judge. Beccaria asserted the law must be ‘fair and just’. She did the exact opposite.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        Write that article, dude.

        Why don’t you crank out the first ten, then we debate and nominate others, and then have some online vote to decide the first three in.

        Annual votes are thereafter scheduled, eventually to be held by persons who present to vote in person at Glib Rendezvous.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Hm.

          I’m so lazy. My lap top is a treasure box of ideas not furthered.

          But it’s a thought.

  21. Count Potato

    “If this surprises you at all, you’ve been living under a rock.”

    You probably think that article is about you, don’t you?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      You’re so Vain…

  22. Pat

    Large hydropower dams ‘not sustainable’ in the developing world

    A new study says that many large scale hydropower projects in Europe and the US have been disastrous for the environment.[…]

    Hydropower is the source of 71% of renewable energy throughout the world and has played a major role in the development of many countries.

    But researchers say the building of dams in Europe and the US reached a peak in the 1960s and has been in decline since then, with more now being dismantled than installed. Hydropower only supplies approximately 6% of US electricity.

    Dams are now being removed at a rate of more than one a week on both sides of the Atlantic.

    The problem, say the authors of this new paper, is that governments were blindsided by the prospect of cheap electricity without taking into account the full environmental and social costs of these installations.

    More than 90% of dams built since the 1930s were more expensive than anticipated. They have damaged river ecology, displaced millions of people and have contributed to climate change by releasing greenhouse gases from the decomposition of flooded lands and forests.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      So if we bury CO2 it’s good, but if we put it under water it’s bad? got it…

    2. Take the dams off line in Afghanistan, and you will have no electricity and no water for Kabul.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        save the pristine Wasteland?

      2. AlexinCT

        That is precisely the goal. These are people that wish 2/3 of the world population (other than themselves) dying is good for Gaia.

    3. CPRM

      Yemen, go fuck yourself, no dams for you!

    4. Tonio

      Of course they’ve been “more expensive than anticipated.” Because it’s hard to budget for graft, corruption, shakedowns, deliberate overruns, etc.

      1. R C Dean

        Since when is “more expensive than anticipated” a bad thing to these people?

    5. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      90% of all large construction projects are more expensive that anticipated. That’s not unique to dams.

  23. Rebel Scum

    if he would have moved to do this a month ago, the election would be a lock.

    Idk. I think the average Republican is still against the debil weed. Democrats I am not sure about.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      That is why this would be such a genius move by Trump.

      He’d get the GOP to come out for ending the WOD and the Dems to begin writing fawning stories about the DEA.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Uffda. For a second I thought you were suggesting that the Old Piper Inn – Home of the Gnome (and a kick ass bloody mary bar) should be closed.

  24. mexican sharpshooter

    Just in case anyone forgot what was at stake today…
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EEA0EjMXsLc

  25. >>If this surprises you at all, you’ve been living under a rock.

    I have an old iPhone 6S – and have no urge to upgrade to anything “better”. I stick with Apple because I’m lazy and don’t want to learn a new OS, no matter how much better (or worse) Android is. I just don’t care.

    Android owners, as far as I can tell, are either cheap bastards or rabid anti-Apple. But I don’t care. It’s like Chevy vs Ford or something like that.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Why own a piece of fruit when you can own a Robot?

      1. Count Potato

        Well, you can eat fruit, but you can fuck a robot. So it’s still a toss up.

        1. CPRM

          Watermelon haz sad.

          1. l0b0t

            Comments like this are why I love this place. Thank you, CPRM.

          2. MikeS

            What about all those jack-o-lanterns America is apparently fucking?

          3. Sean

            Jack-off-lanterns.
            FTFY.

          4. What the fuck? People are sticking their dicks in pumpkins? That’s sick.

            Besides, everybody knows Jack-o-lanterns are for taking shits in.

          5. AlexinCT

            Well said Sloop!

    2. Pat

      It basically comes down to the old Mac/PC divide. You either love Apple’s walled garden approach or you hate it, there’s not real inbetween.

      1. CampingInYourPark

        Well, I prefer PC’s because I can upgrade parts of them relatively easy and use alternative operating systems if I want to. Is there really that much people do similar to that with phones?
        I’ve had a Galaxy 7 and a Iphone X over the last few years. The Iphone just functions better.

        1. Pat

          Is there really that much people do similar to that with phones?

          Not with hardware, but you can sideload apps much more easily in Android, and there’s root exploits and alternative ROMs for a lot of the more popular models.

          1. Pat

            That said, the Librem 5 and Pine64 phone will both run linux systems. That will be pretty cool.

    3. Brett L

      I was really hoping for another SE chassis upgrade. I like my small phone, it makes my hands look big. Chicks dig dudes with big hands.

      1. ::palms a basketball::

        say what now?

    4. MikeS

      I don’t know that most Apple users I know are more vain, but pretentious about their over-priced phone, yes.

      1. I have the new XS Max in space gray w/256gb of memory and I don’t feel the need to bring it up all the time.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s really ugly.

    2. I remember the days when seeing a girl with tats was rare (and rather exotic). Now Grandma Jones and Aunt Louise have them.

      1. Tundra

        I predict a booming market for tattoo removal in about ten years.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Heh. I told my wife that a few years ago.

          I’m sure there’s a regret market out there.

      2. Most of the women I know have tats. Most of the men I know do not. What a weird time we live in.

      3. Mr Lizard

        She should have skipped the tats and spent the money on some fat +2 bolt-ons. Those would have distracted nicely from that flat basic-bitch non-ass.

        Ya I’m being caty

    3. straffinrun

      Nice. A chick that looks like she smells like an ashtray.

      1. Tejicano

        Well, yeah. And if you kiss her you know it would taste like semen.

        Wait… did I say that out loud???

  26. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Android owners, as far as I can tell, are either cheap bastards or rabid anti-Apple.

    I’ll let you know which one I am after I think on it for a minute….. Why not both?

    In other news, Apple is jacking their prices because unit sales are cratering.

  27. Is this the death knell for ‘gratuitous’ on-screen sex and nudity?

    I don’t care what Demi Moore or any of those weird fetishistic cinematographers who invariably win the Palme d’Or say: it is never vital or even necessary to the plot, the whole point of film – with its infinite capacity for trickery – surely being that you can suggest, imply or simply fake nudity in 1,001 different ways. The same goes for sex. And yet the more squeamish we become, the more prurient our “entertainment” seems to be.

    I mean, we’re being sold polyamorous, pansexual, adulterous and downright freaky A&E level on-screen sex (Wanderlust, Gypsy, The Girlfriend Experience, The Deuce) by an industry now trying to prove itself as one of the worthiest and most puritanical out there – and I, for one, am finding it harder and harder to suspend disbelief.

    Enough. Now that we know that no woman will ever be carried up the stairs Rhett Butler-style again (and certainly not without her coordinator); now that we know how farcically contorted things have got behind the scenes, can’t we just give up on on-screen sex and nudity?

    1. CPRM

      it is never vital or even necessary to the plot

      Now I’m quite prudish on movie sex scenes, but Disclosure really isn’t a story that can be told if you don’t show some sex.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Prime Demi Moore, hubba hubba

    2. Pat

      It’s kind of funny watching movies from the late 70s and into the 80s. They were so psyched that they could finally do nudity with an R rating that it got worked into pretty much every flick no matter how absurd.

      1. Just Say’n

        And razors didn’t exist then so it’s exotic to look at now

      2. Chipwooder

        I mean, in 1975 you had a major movie with a big star, Night Moves with Gene Beckman, that had many nude scenes with a 17 year old Melanie Griffith. Can you imagine a movie doing that today?

        BTW, she looked fantastic in them.

        1. Chipwooder

          Gene Beckman? Fuck you autocorrect!

        2. Tejicano

          I bet I’m not the only one who remembers what “full frontal” means.

      3. Soyboy

        The hard diametric variation in sexual mores over and between mere generations is the best example of the metaphorical pendulum swinging.

        (And by metaphorical pendulum I mean…)

        Of course, since it happens so hard and fast, previous mores don’t quickly dissipate entirely, and thus we’re stuck (for the moment) with a weird deep-puritanism-cum-firm-promiscuity.

        1. Tejicano

          STEVE SMITH NOT METAPHORICAL ABOUT PENDULUM SWINGING. OR THRUSTING.

    3. PieInTheSky

      Nudity is its own plot

  28. Juvenile Bluster

    Standing by my prediction from yesterday. Dems 230 in the House and Republicans gain 1 in the Senate.

    1. Just Say’n

      Republicans gain two in the Senate, at least. You’re ignoring that Republican turnout has increased too, which will benefit them in the Senate races, particularly in Republican-leaning states.

      Do you want to take the Gillespie bet? If Republicans pick up two or more seats, you change your avatar to Nick Gillespie and change your name to Gillespie for a month. And if Republicans pick up less than two seats, I change my avatar to Nick Gillespie and change my name to Gillespie for a month.

      1. >>Gillespie

        now that’s just cruel

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        No. Not interested in betting. It should be recognized that I’m a moron.

        1. Just Say’n

          I’m a bigger moron than you. Want to make a Gillespie bet on who is the bigger moron?

          1. Raphael

            I’ll take that bet, Just Say’n. I’m a gambling man, and I love fun games.

      3. Who gets to be The Jacket™?

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Senate +6
      House -4
      wanna bet?

      1. Drake

        Sounds a bit optimistic but not far off. Only possible if Menendez really does lose.

    3. PieInTheSky

      Dems take both and trump is impeached by christmas

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Thereby ushering in the reign of Pence de Torquemada?

        1. AlexinCT

          Is that what Shilalry is calling herself now?

      2. straffinrun

        This. Before leaving on a helicopter, Trump calls a presser where he announces a new cologne with the aroma of burnt crosses and oven residue.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          And gives his daughter a sloppy french kiss in front of the cameras?

      3. Juvenile Bluster

        Can I sign up for this? I mean, it’s stupid, but the tweets would be legendary. If it happens right around Christmas I can sit on my in-laws front porch in rural NC and watch the world burn.

        1. Chipwooder

          I’m torn between the entertainment value of a Trump impeachment and my physical revulsion at the prospect of the progs winning.

          1. AlexinCT

            I actually was ambivalent to team blue taking the house in the election until Kavanaugh happened. Before Kavanaugh I figured it would be a shitshow and nothing bad would happen as both sides played against each other. Pass the popcorn and watch sort of thing. After Kavanaugh I now see team blue would prefer to burn down the country in order to get power back than let anyone else have it, and that can’t be allowed to stand. At least if they lose some of them will just break down and end up in fetal positions providing both laughs and less asshats to go out and do damage.

      4. Drake

        The funniest part of that would be Trump easily winning the nomination and election in 2020.

        1. Tejicano

          which would mean that half my family succumb to terminal TDS by early 2020.

  29. PieInTheSky

    Even in a unionized environment, where work tasks are similar, hourly wages are identical, and tenure dictates promotions, female workers earn $0.89 on the male-worker dollar (weekly earnings). We use confidential administrative data on bus and train operators from the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA) to show that the weekly earnings gap can be explained entirely by the workplace choices that women and men make. Women value time and flexibility more than men. Women take more unpaid time off using the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and work fewer overtime hours than men. Men and women plan to work similar overtime hours when they are scheduled three months in advance, but men actually work nearly 50% more overtime hours than women.

    https://scholar.harvard.edu/bolotnyy/publications/why-do-women-earn-less-men-evidence-bus-and-train-operators-job-market-paper

  30. Just Say’n

    Voted straight LP (so like three elections). It’s liberating to live in Illinois on election day, because it doesn’t matter how you vote- you’re state’s still screwed.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      There are no team L on the ballot in AZ. Even Nick Sarawak ran for mayor of Phoenix as an Indy. I blame Trump.

      1. Just Say’n

        I think it’s a positive that Nick Sarwark didn’t run under the LP banner.

      2. CPRM

        Holy shit, he’s turning that party into even more of joke than it was.

        1. Jarflax

          Yeah I am starting to hate capital L libertarians as much as I hate team D. What kind of strategy is it to throw all your principles out the window to get from 1.5 to 1.7%? You aren’t going to win assholes. Your whole job is to be a public voice for our principles in the hope that maybe they will resonate with enough people to move the Rs our way, or possibly even the Ds. If you run on a platform of social ‘justice’ plus pot you aren’t doing your damn job!

          1. Tundra

            If the fucking L party would ever get a goddamn salesman out in front of voters it would be a great start.

            You know, someone who could communicate and persuade. Who could show voters that it’s not all blue guys, diaper wearing freaks, establishment failures and Gary.

          2. ChipsnSalsa

            What’s left then? Certainly not women.

    2. dorvinion

      The Illinois Governor race was full of such complete and utter stupidity my MIL cast her first vote for a non-duopoly candidate ever.

    3. Michael

      I’d cast my vote for whoever the LP candidate is under normal circumstances, but as a property owner I am absolutely terrified by what a Pritzker governorship will look like.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        what a Pritzker governorship will look like

        Pretty much what a Rauner governorship looks like. With Team Blue in total control of the Assembly, having a Team Red governor is futile, and a Team Red governor who is happy to play along even more futile.

        1. Michael

          I’d still rather vote for the dumb fuck that at least pays lip service to the principles of smaller government instead of the fat fuck that will invariably increase the size of said government.

    4. Not Adahn

      Yup. knowing that I have absolutely zero chance of influencing the outcome allows me to vote straight L (as far a the L’s put candidates on the ballot) and pretend to have won the purity test.

      *finishes jauntily tying extra-smug ascot*

  31. Rebel Scum

    Senate Judiciary Committee Report: 45 Interviews, Zero Evidence To Corroborate Claims Against Kavanaugh

    “The revelation of last minute allegations tested the committee in many ways,” said Senate Judiciary Committee Chair Chuck Grassley (R-IA) in a statement Friday. “But these investigative efforts rose to the occasion and were critical to helping us obtain the truth. This was a serious and thorough investigation that left no stone unturned in our pursuit of the facts. In the end, there was no credible evidence to support the allegations against the nominee.”

    In its announcement of the report, the committee notes that its investigators “spoke with 45 individuals and took 25 written statements relating to the various allegations made in the course of the Supreme Court confirmation process.” Citing the supplementary FBI investigation ordered by the committee, the committee states that neither found “any evidence to substantiate or corroborate any of the allegations.”

    The committee also notes that it has submitted multiple people to the Justice Department for review for “potential violations of Senate rules, potential witness tampering, and potential false statements made to the Committee in violation of federal law,” including Kavanaugh-accuser Julie Swetnick, lawyer Michael Avenatti, and Judy Munro-Leighton.

    Way to open the floodgates for rape to occur on every street corner. ///believewomen ///DrumpfsAmerica

    1. commodious spittoon

      He was accused. What more evidence do you need?

  32. Sean

    Done with voting. I was #292. Decent looking turn out for mid terms.

    1. WTF

      Yeah, I got to the polling place about 10 minutes before they opened at 6:00, and there was already a pretty decent crowd waiting.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Android owners, as far as I can tell, are either cheap bastards or rabid anti-Apple.

    Cheap bastard, former Apple user (but not rabidly anti-).

    As I have said before, Android is starting to really really piss me off with all the useless google bloatware. I picked up my phone the other day, and it told me it was downloading a google street view update. Fuck off, google. If I wanted street view, or plus (whatever on god’s little green earth that is/was), or whatever else, I’d download it on my own.

    1. Drake

      I never let my phone do automatic updates.

      1. Chipwooder

        I have auto update turned off and yet it still updates shit I never use, like Instagram and Messenger. Samsung is the worst when it comes to bloatware – there are at least 15 apps I have no desire for that I cannot delete from my phone.

        Still would never buy an IPhone though. Fuck Apple forever and ever.

  34. Drake

    I’m still predicting Republicans gain a few in the Senate and hang on to the House with fewer losses than projected. Just based on the similarities to the wishful thinking polls we saw 2 years ago.

    It will be interesting to see how thoroughly they Gerrymandered the NJ 5th District. In the past, the Republican would cruise to a wide victory in the mid-terms. This will be a good stress-test to find out if they mixed in enough Bergen County liberals to make it a safe D seat.

    1. WTF

      I don’t know, the odds are pretty heavily in the Dems favor in the House, so I think they get the House by a few seats. I agree the Republicans probably pick up a couple seats in the Senate.
      Get ready for Finance Committee Chair Maxine Waters!

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        *grabs popcorn*

        1. WTF

          Indeed. As a Committee Chair I think she will be able to unilaterally issue subpoenas! Yay!

  35. I suppose I will have to drag myself to the polls to vote against all the incumbent judges, if naught else… Illinois’ death knell should be sounding by 10pm.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Bob Dole wants you to vote.
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EEA0EjMXsLc

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      it’s dead already, you’re kicking a corpse
      /same for Cali

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      Illinois’ death knell sounded long, long ago.

  36. Juvenile Bluster

    The Broward Sheriff’s Office doesn’t just ignore threats of violence. They also ignore evidence of child abuse.

    Eleven days. That is how much time the Broward Sheriff’s Office had to save Makenzie Nevarez’s life.

    The clock commenced on Oct. 13, 2016, when BSO’s child protection unit was told that Makenzie, then all of 6 months old, had been hospitalized with three unexplained fractures to the shin and calf of her left leg and her left forearm, as well as a black eye and bruised wrist.

    Investigators, summoned to the hospital, could have conducted a thorough investigation. They could have had doctors specializing in child abuse examine the baby. They could have looked deeper into the background of her mother’s live-in boyfriend, who was once charged with aggravated battery and strangulation. They could have sought to place the child with a responsible relative.

    They did none of those things.

    Instead they made the girl’s mother sign a safety plan — a promise to protect her from harm.

    The clock ran out for Makenzie on Oct. 24 — 11 days after the hospital visit — when the infant was placed on life support with an inventory of injuries so numerous it took 10 lines of print to list them all. The fatal blows came to Makenzie’s head, probably from a “violent shaking,” an autopsy concluded. She was pronounced dead four days later.

    https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/broward/article221036105.html

    I’m really pissed that this is an off year for the sheriff election.

    1. Count Potato

      That’s just horrible 🙁

    2. Chipwooder

      How the hell does anyone beat a baby? Christ, there are some absolute pieces of shit in this world. Here’s to hoping the sonofabitch gets shanked in prison.

      1. spqr2008

        I’m very sure, as soon as the other prisoners find out what this guy did, he dies. The violent three strikes guys have nothing to lose anyways, and even criminals have better morals than that.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    When I got up, I started thinking, “How can I avoid ten thousand election day ads? Maybe I’ll watch some old racing stuff on youtube. Silly me. Right out of the gate, it’s Kathleen Williams for Congress: “A vote for me is not a vote for Nancy Pelosi. Whe4n we take over the Congress, we’re going to get rid of her, and put somebody better in charge.”

    Yeah, great, somebody even dumber, and crazier, and more socialist. That sounds like a plan we can all get behind.

    1. whiz

      Yes, Youtube is covered with them, too. I’ll be so glad when today is over.

  38. Scruffy Nerfherder

    From TOS: https://www.kansas.com/news/state/article220536520.html

    Students and parents are upset after “too much hair” was taken during a random drug test at school last week, a Kansas superintendent confirmed.

    The hair follicle drug test is a monthly occurrence at the middle and high schools in Phillipsburg, USD 325 Superintendent Mike Gower told McClatchy. Each month, two students at the middle school are tested, six students at the high school.

    This time the drug-testing company did something different, Gower said.

    “We have parents upset that too much hair was taken,” he said.

    If you cut my kids’ hair for random drug testing, at a minimum we’re going to have some words.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      The hair follicle drug test is a monthly occurrence at the middle and high schools in Phillipsburg, USD 325 Superintendent Mike Gower told McClatchy.

      Without probable cause, I’m sure. How the fuck is this constitutional (I mean, how WOULD it be without using the FYTW clause?)

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        That would be the special Scalia/Thomas edition of the FYTW clause.

    2. I think school drug testing is an abomination.

      1. Luther Baldwin

        I can’t believe parents put up with that. What the fuck is wrong with them?

  39. Ayn Random Variation

    My prediction?
    Pain

    https://youtu.be/lSPNQ82Sq4E

  40. The Late P Brooks

    I never let my phone do automatic updates.

    I don’t seem to be able to stop mine from doing it.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The patriarchy strikes again

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m out of memory? how? ohhh Google wants to stylize my pictures? ohh go right ahead.
      How do you turn off updates so they don’t restart?

    3. Drake

      It’s down in the settings somewhere. I can fumble my to it eventually, damned if I can talk somebody else through it.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I did that, but it keeps resetting to auto updates, funny how that works….

        1. Drake

          Try hitting it with a hammer.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            I did that too, cost me 30 bucks to replace it……

        2. ChipsnSalsa

          Did you check the thermostat?

  41. The Late P Brooks

    The hair follicle drug test is a monthly occurrence at the middle and high schools in Phillipsburg, USD 325 Superintendent Mike Gower told McClatchy. Each month, two students at the middle school are tested, six students at the high school.

    Are you fucking shitting me?

    1. PieInTheSky

      No piss tests come after hair. You get to shit in colege

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      I would pull my kid if they tried that, I’ve done it before, got an advocate and reamed the School board when they tried to fuck with my Wife and I.

  42. I’m rather confused by the Democrats thinking here. Do they think if they win the house, which is a historical likely given, it’s a repudiation of Trump?

    I mean when the Reps took the house in 2010 it – thank god – it stopped all the crazy things being passed in the house/senate. But it didn’t stop Obama from winning re-election in 2012. And Mr. Pen and Phone went on a regulation spree. Trump, given the history of his predecessor, will do the same.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Why? he hasn’t so far, even though he has threatened to use the P and P

    2. CPRM

      Reps only took the house in 2010 because their murder squads scared away all the right thinkers, duh.

  43. hkguy

    In case you wondered what Michael Bloomberg, that hard-core Constitutionalist and recent Democrat, has been up to recently…

    Bloomberg on Trump a few days ago:

    At a time when the nation is reeling from a horrific attack against a religious group that killed 11 Americans, and from a bomber who targeted people for their politics, President Trump has chosen to inflame rather than heal — for the most cynical of reasons: He hopes to boost the election prospects of Republicans. Politics doesn’t get much more dishonest and depraved than this.

    Bloomberg on the Vice-president of China, an unelected official of the Chinese Communist Party and Xi Jinping’s close ally, in the last 24 hours:

    He is the most influential political figure in China and in the world and he has played a key role in Chinese finance and politics for more than 30 years, helping to lead that country to a period of extraordinary growth, navigate challenges along the way, including the financial crisis of 2008.

    Bloomberg 2020, amirite?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t understand how anyone, who isn’t just angling for some of his money, could stand that guy. He really is a cunt of the first order.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      as China’s banking system falls apart, good job eh Bloomy?

    3. Ayn Random Variation

      The Dems won’t nominate a Jew

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Da fuh.

      He really is a weasel. That guy would sell the poor the second he had the chance as he claims to help.

      And can we knock it off with the ‘healing’ shit? They’re fucken politicians.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Dems take both and trump is impeached by christmas

    Woohoo!

  45. straffinrun

    Anyway, go vote. Or don’t. I don’t give a shit about that

    Honestly, I didn’t even bother. Do I still get to bitch?

    1. Do you still get ballots?

      Are you a Japanese citizen?

      1. straffinrun

        No. Permanent resident. Suppose I could’ve voted somewhere.

        1. Count Potato

          So you are saying you have a gleen card?

          1. AlexinCT

            LACIST!

  46. Special Election Day asses for Glibs of the posterior persuasion.

    http://archive.is/Ocpk7

    A few titties here like 2 to keep me happy.

  47. https://twitter.com/aterkel/status/1059484451321925632?s=21

    .@svdate went to a Trump rally and asked his supporters if they care whether he lies all the time. One woman’s response: “I don’t care if he sprouts a third dick up there.”

    1. Meaning he already has two?

      1. “You know what having ten grand in your pocket feels like? It feels like having a third cock!”
        “Jesus. How many cocks you got, champ?”
        “You lampooning me, Meatdrapes?”

        ::pours out beer for Micheal Clarke Duncan::

    2. commodious spittoon

      Are they still surprised by the seriously/literally dichotomy?

      Wait till these rubes find out WWE is faaaaaaaaaaaake.

  48. Pat

    Facebook blocks 115 fake accounts ahead of midterm elections

    In (possibly) the last update from a long string of reports leading up to the 2018 midterm elections, Facebook sent out an alert that it has disabled 115 accounts (30 on Facebook and 85 on Instagram) that “may be engaged in coordinated inauthentic behavior.” The social network said its investigation is “very early-stage” and that it acted on the accounts based on a tip from US law enforcement, which believes the accounts may be linked to foreign entities.

    1. WTF

      “Inauthentic” behavior. How very unmutual. Fucking commies.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      which believes the accounts may be linked to foreign entities

      Jesus, who fucking cares?

      It’s not like the US hasn’t meddled in foreign elections for decades.

    3. LJW

      Chinese level censorship.

  49. Juvenile Bluster

    On this election day, it’s important to remember the words fo a great man, George Carlin, on why voting is bullshit.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIraCchPDhk

  50. Drake

    The Governor of Maine has the right idea – move the hell out to a warm, low-tax state.

    1. AlexinCT

      Not if that donkey commie guy wins. I predict FLA will have one of the highest state income taxes in the union under 12 months.

      1. Drake

        And the great Florida diaspora will begin.

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          I hear Alabama is great

          * furiously gestures away from Tennessee *

          1. AlexinCT

            The way this plays out is that the prog asshats that showed up and ruined the place by voting for the people that then implement the proggie shit that ruins places, will suddenly find they can’t afford to live there anymore, move elsewhere, then vote for the proggie shit that ruins places. The problem always is the fucking proggies…

        2. Brett L

          Don’t worry, Ontario drivers will probably kill most of them. In the last week, I’ve nearly been killed by idiots with Canadian plates at least three times.

      2. R C Dean

        Would the FL legislature actually pass income taxes?

        1. AlexinCT

          As someone that saw such a shitshow play out back in the day before we became “The People’s Republic of Connecticut”. I warn you never to assume it won’t. Our asshat governor at the time Wicker promised a “temporary” state income tax to “fix” the over spending that came with the hard left swing the state took, and even told us as a reward they would remove the toll booths that robbed everybody moving around, amongst many concessions. We are now more than 2 1/2 decades later being told we should vote for a governor that wants to jack up that state income tax, yet again, AND bring back tolls and a slew of other confiscatory and punitive taxes. Because the other guy – whom I think is also an asshat – is saying that he might cut taxes (especially on business to grow jobs) and that sort of move will force the municipalities then to make cuts to education.

          That we have one of the costliest education systems that by en large returns one of the lowest values on that investment (unless you admit the goal of that system is to create low information proggie npcs) is not allowed to be mentioned. And the crazy fucks demand more free shit.

          1. Drake

            Sounds a lot like how New Jersey went from a no-income-tax haven to the worst taxes in the country in the 70’s.

  51. robc

    Voted against 3 people:

    1. The guy who texted me yesterday. You did it! You made me vote for a Democrat!

    2. The grown man who goes by the nickname Peanuts. Not Peanut, but the plural.

    3. Kelsey Grammar. My Mom says always vote NO on ballot questions. I listened to my Mom.

    I didn’t listen to my Mom on the 2nd question…I voted YES for Warren County going wet.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Marsy’s law is fucking awful and it’s going to pass everywhere because people are fucking awful.

      I did vote “yes” on about half of Florida’s ballot questions. Two reduce property taxes, one requires a supermajority vote in the state legislature to raise taxes, one restores voting rights to felons once they’ve completed their sentence, and one allows the state to reduce penalties of people in prison for bullshit crimes when we realize they’re bullshit and eliminate them/reduce the sentence level.

      1. Florida Man

        What about banning vaping and oil rigs, because they’re SO related?

        1. Brett L

          I voted no on the property taxes, because I’m tired of the carveouts. Lower the fucking millage. Yes on the voting rights, the supermajority, and gambling referendum. I was a unable to make heads or tails of the one about the sentencing because of all the shit about “victims rights”, which don’t seem to be particularly trampled today.

      2. Gadfly

        …one requires a supermajority vote in the state legislature to raise taxes…

        A good call given who your next governor is probably going to be.

    2. WTF

      I explained to my wife that voting “yes” on ballot questions usually means you are voting to raise your taxes or restrict your freedom. Or both.

      1. Damn straight. My default position on all initiatives/referenda is always “no” unless there’s a compelling reason to vote yes. For instance, I voted yes on two things this time around:

        1) Restrict civil asset forfeiture
        2) Create a non-partisan commission for redistricting

        #2 may sound like a scam, but since the state legislature is trending Blue for the foreseeable future, my guess is that it can’t be any worse than letting the legislature do it and there is a small chance it might be better. The last time the lines were redrawn, there was total Dem control and we ended up with what the CFAP rated as the second most friendly map for Dems in the country. Fuck that noise, at least the non-partisan commission has a few Pachyderms on it.

        1. westernsloper

          Those are the two I voted yes on as well. The district map is fucked right now.

        2. Drake

          I’ll vote yes on that – my district (NJ 5th) is a blatant Gerrymander.

        3. robc

          The KY supreme court requires districts to split the minimum number of counties possible (with some margin of error for population).

          It still leads to gerrymandered districts, but there is a lot less horrible stuff than there used to be.

        4. Luther Baldwin

          In NYC the propositions are put in place by the mayor to grab more power. Even innocuous ones are often bait-and-switch. To wit:

          3. Term limits for community board members.

          The fine-print on that one basically installs a quota system to ensure that only the correct mixture of races and sexes get in.

        5. dorvinion

          In Iowa it a non-partisan process.
          4 people appointed to a board – two people by R leader, two by D leader, and those 4 elect a fifth person to the board (the 5th can’t be a party official, hold office, work for an office holder, etc)

          There’s a whole laundry list of gerrymander enabling things that are prohibited (prior election results, demographic data, and a few other things)
          Counties generally can’t be split between districts

          They aren’t really given much leeway to enable shenanigans.

      2. Trials and Trippelations

        I was only interested in voting on some constitutional amendments. I knew I should yes on some of them bc all the progtards in hipsterville had signs everywhere saying to vote no on all amendments

      3. robc

        That was my Mom’s logic, this is the actual quote from 30 or so years ago, “A YES vote costs you money.”

    3. Drake

      I had no idea there were dry towns in Warren County. Better not screw up all those BYOB restaurants. I much prefer bringing my own wine or beer instead of buying it from the restaurant for 3 times the price.

      1. robc

        Warren County is dry.

        BG is wet, the rest of the county will be tomorrow (or Jan 1 or something).

        1. Drake

          Warren County New Jersey? Dry?

          1. robc

            Warren County Kentucky.

          2. Drake

            Ah!

          3. Drake

            I got you and WTF mixed up.

    4. Pat

      3. Kelsey Grammar. My Mom says always vote NO on ballot questions. I listened to my Mom.

      I got a bunch of mailers with Kelsey Grammar on them as well. It’s for a constitutional amendment enshrining a bunch of new “victims’ rights” here. Sounds absolutely fucking disastrous. I voted no.

  52. Tundra

    Good morning Sloop and thanks for the meaty lynx!

    Man, the 80’s was shit awesome.

    Yes, it was quite a time. Fun movies, tv shows, music, cars and the girls were still girls.

    I wish I would have appreciated it more at the time.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Big hair and tiny Bikinis, good times!

        1. Nephilium

          Is it Kung Fury? It better be Kung Fury (yes I know it’s modern, but it hits all of the 80’s tropes so hard, including tracking errors in the movie).

          Kung Fury: You don’t need that spine.

          [Grabs Nazi soldier by the head and rips out his spine]

          Kung Fury: It’s holding your back.

        2. straffinrun

          My two favorite things. Sometimes putting two of your favorite things together doesn’t work out so well.

          1. Florida Man

            I tried putting port in coffee. I do not recommend.

          2. Mojeaux

            LOL

          3. AlexinCT

            STEVE SMITH PUT TWO OF HIS FAVORITE THINGS TOGETHER: HIKERS AND RAPE!

          4. ChipsnSalsa

            ammonia and bleach, I assume?

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Honestly, I didn’t even bother. Do I still get to bitch?

    Goddam right you do. The way I look at it, we (nonvoters, principled or otherwise) are the only ones who aren’t actively making the problem worse.

    You can’t pin this shit on me.

    1. Florida Man

      Hey, I’m mostly there to vote no on tax increases and against more laws.

    2. pistoffnick

      You can’t pin this shit on me.

      Exactly!

  54. robc

    I am sure Chicago is doing it wrong, but what is wrong with sidewalk seating?

    1. WTF

      Because it looks like they are actually putting it in the road.

      1. Luther Baldwin

        If the business owner in front of it agrees to it, who cares?

      2. robc

        So? Narrow streets are good for business. And as Luther said, if the business is okay with it, who cares?

    2. Pope Jimbo

      And it somehow costs $30K to block off two parking spots and throw in two cheap picnic tables and chairs?

  55. “This is a very refreshing sight. I hope the trend continues.”

    It’d look even better if foreground dude’s trigger finger was straighter and higher. Pet peeves.

  56. Bonus for Election Day as a reminder that this country is still great in spite of our dysfunctional politics.

    http://archive.is/CaGBs

    Let’s make it Erection Day instead!

    1. Drake

      My wife says our 6-month old puppy humped the hell out of a stuffed animal then ran around the house with a raging boner this morning. So he’s with you.

    2. Tundra

      60 for good parenting.

    3. Raphael

      2, 25, 43, both girls in 44. Man, I LOVE AMERICA. Thanks once again, Q.

  57. Waterfall Insurance

    I voted this morning it was way busier than the mid terms. I’m in Virginia’s 3rd district where Bobby Scott is running unopposed he has won 9 out of 11 terms with 75% or higher of the vote. I like most here expect Dems to get the house, Reps to gain in Senate and the useful idiots will lose their shit no matter what.

    1. Evan from Evansville

      I read that as “bustier.”

      I have no regrets.

  58. Election Day prediction:

    Dems take the House and immediately begin impeachment proceedings, guaranteeing Trump a win in 2020.

    Pachyderms keep the Senate and gain one or two seats. Since about the only thing Trump is good for is appointing Constitutionalist judges, I’ll be satisfied with this outcome as they can fill open slots for at least two more years.

    Erection Day prediction:

    34F is out of commission (concussion from a car crash 🙁 ) so we’ll see about alternatives.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    A nuthouse, with typewriters

    Whatever happens in the midterms, the aftermath will be ugly. But the elections are nonetheless a fork in the road. If we take one path, it will offer at least a chance for political redemption, for recovering America’s democratic values. If we take the other, we’ll be on the road to autocracy, with no obvious way to get off.

    It’s a near-certainty that Democrats will receive more votes than Republicans, with polling suggesting a margin in votes cast for the House of Representatives of seven or more percentage points — which would make it the biggest landslide of modern times. However, gerrymandering and other factors have severely tilted the playing field, so that even this might not be enough to bring control of the chamber.

    And even if Democrats do climb that tilted slope, anyone expecting Republicans to accept the result with good grace hasn’t been paying attention. Remember, Donald Trump claimed — falsely, of course — that millions of immigrants voted illegally in an election he won. Imagine what he’ll say if he loses, and what his supporters will do in response. And if and when a Democratic House tries to exercise its powers, you can be sure it will be met with defiance, never mind what the Constitution says.

    But ugly as the scene will be if Democrats win, it will be far worse if they lose. In fact, it’s not hyperbole to say that if the G.O.P. holds the line on Tuesday, it may be the last even halfway fair elections we’ll ever have.

    ————

    Meanwhile, the reality is that ordinary voters are more easily moved by issues that have a direct impact on their well-being than by more abstract concerns about democracy and rule of law. And until very recently, mainstream news media berated Democrats for running on nothing but opposition to Trump (which was never true, but the media said it anyway), while tending to dismiss talk about Republican abuse of power as hysterical.

    But with the crucial moment here, everyone should bear in mind what’s at stake. It’s not just tax cuts or health coverage, and anyone who votes based simply on those issues is missing the bigger story. For the survival of American democracy is on the ballot.

    Yes, it’s Krugabe. You have been warned.

    1. The Other Kevin

      This has been said before, but that guy is truly living in his own version of reality.

    2. Rebel Scum

      It’s a near-certainty that Democrats will receive more votes than Republicans

      Irrelevant. And everything else is just. awful. Christ, what a tiresome, dishonest asshole.

    3. What I think of when I read this is “religious fervor”. It’s about choosing between good and evil, redemption or perdition. He (and many others, not just limited to Dems mind you) are whipping themselves up like Whirling Dervishes praying to their false idols.

      It’s sickening.

    4. Luther Baldwin

      And there it is; the official Party Organ has published the “House vote” talking point that they’re going to run with if they don’t “win”.

      1. Rebel Scum

        House *Majority* Vote, which is as irrelevant (and telling…) as “majority popular vote” for president.

      2. Chipwooder

        The way the Dems are already whining is starting to convince me that they are gonna flop today. They don’t sound anything like a group of people confident of victory.

        I know that’s a very facile, superficial way to look at it, but I’m guessing their internal polls are not positive.

        1. WTF

          That was my thought, their internal polls must not be good news, so they are ramping up the talking point excuses.

  60. Plinker762

    I predict that a Marlin 60 will become an “assault weapon” in WA

  61. RE: JOOZ with TEH GUNZ.

    Back during Obama (2015 or thereabouts) when we were cuddling up big time to Iran and hanging Israel out to dry, it seemed that anti-Semitic attacks were spiking in Europe and getting set to ramp up here, I found myself shooting next to a Hasidic Rabbi shooting for the first time ever. Right after some attack (I don’t remember which one) he went out, got his CCW and bought a Glock 43. I ended up helping him out and showed him a few things. It was rather amusing to watch him draw from underneath his tzitzit.

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      G43 is my son’s EDC; it’s a great choice for a lot of folks.

  62. Chipwooder

    I am getting ready to head out and vote for someone I don’t like, Dave brat, so someone I like even less, prog spook (ex-CIA) bitch Abagail Spanberger, goes the fuck away.

    1. straffinrun

      Better than Eric Cantor.

      1. Chipwooder

        I am required by familial bonds to hate Dave Brat. My sister worked for Cantor for years.

        Actually, I’m not sure why she still cares – she ended up getting a better paying job anyway.

        1. Rebel Scum

          My dad (diehard Republican) hated Cantor. It may have been mostly because Cantor snubbed him over some work done to his car when my dad was a service manager back in the day. Brat seems ok to me. He’s been in ‘The Swamp’ on Youtube. Speaking of, I got ad after ad for both Brat and Scamburger even though I am not in their district.

  63. Count Potato

    “Voting for Democrats Isn’t Going to Curb Anti-Semitism

    Trump is not the source of the true threats to Jews — anti-Semites are more prominent on the left than the right.

    Over the weekend, Bari Weiss, a friend who writes for the New York Times, appeared on Bill Maher’s HBO show. Bari was bat mitzvahed at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh; she knew many of those who were shot and killed by a white supremacist two weeks ago. Her writing on the subject has been beautiful; she’s obviously both raw and real about the situation.”

    https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/11/voting-for-democrats-wont-curb-anti-semitism-bari-weiss/

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      Pulse happened under the Obama administration. I am uncomfortable voting for those homophobes.

  64. Chipwooder

    Btw, the Blackhawks have fired Joel Quenneville.

    1. Tundra

      That’ll fix the problems of aging players and bad contracts.

      1. Chipwooder

        Brandon Saad for Artemi Panarin is going to haunt them for a long time

      2. Luther Baldwin

        Worked for the Rang– Oh.

        1. Chipwooder

          *quietly sobs*

          We had better get Jack Hughes out of this mess or else I’m gonna be pissed

          1. Luther Baldwin

            That does seem to be the plan. ??

          2. Private Chipperbot

            Red Wings want you to hold their beer.

  65. LJW

    Which is more virtue signalingish. Announcing you voted on derp book or pointing out people who announce they voted are virtue signaling? It’s a never ending loop!

    1. Raphael

      It’s signaling all the way down.

  66. Juvenile Bluster

    In the last ~24 hours the (actual Vegas) odds on the Dems taking the House have gone from about -280 to -400, which means Vegas is giving an 80% chance on them taking the House.

    (FWIW, the final odds on Hillary winning in 2016 were around -275, which gave Trump much more of a chance than the NYT/polls did)

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      Silver has a model that says 88%

      1. Brett L

        I think 5/6 is probably about right. The problem with predictions is that he would be right five time out six, but could be wrong here. Who would have given the Titans 13.5 against the Cowboys last night? Probably not even most homers betting on a straight win. Its one of the problems with predicting elections. They only run every two years and they aren’t similar enough to each other to necessarily prove or disprove your models in a 2-4 year time span.

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          of course

          As an engineer, I love modeling systems. Like an economist, when it doesn’t turn out as predictive as I’d like, that means it’s time to crank on the the old coefficients and exponents some more. I’m fascinated by the difficulty of pegging people and their trends to locations without land lines: what a nightmare; I simply admire the effort.

          1. Brett L

            Agree, Don. I know some people like to run Silver down, but I don’t think his model is crazy.
            The interesting question to me, buried in all of this discussion is: are these things alike enough in their properties to model statistically? Sabermetrics, yes. One play in baseball is enough like another and you get enough of them to form statistical models that have some application. Elections — one of the underlying assumptions seems to be that people are enough like themselves in the last election that you can infer a trend from similar surveys. “If people gave X dollars to Y candidates, then Z should have a strong chance of happening.” Its probably not wrong, but its complex enough that even refitting your model to the last election is not strongly predictive. Its more like a stock picker than figuring out whether this shortstop is better for your team than the one you have.

    2. Chipwooder

      How degenerate a gambler do you have to be to bet on elections?

      1. robc

        Yes.

      2. commodious spittoon

        Dunno. Pretty degenerate, I imagine. Wanna bet on it?

    3. Drake

      It will be interesting to see if the polls were more accurate or still full of wishful thinking.

      1. AlexinCT

        I vote it was a lot of the later…

  67. Certified Public Asshat

    Updated Please For the Love of God STFU rankings1. Voting evangelists 2. Vegans3. Fantasy football leaguers4. Marathoners5. Paleodieters— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 6, 2018

    Seems a little out of date, fantasy football and paleodieters have quieted down.

    1. robc

      I was confused about #1.

      Does he mean people who are evangelical about voting who Christian evangelists who vote?

      I read it as the latter, but I think he meant the former.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        I vote the former.

        #IVoted

      2. It took me a couple tries before I understood he meant the former.

        Also, replace paleo with keto

        *hides from all the rotten produce thrown in his direction*

      3. Certified Public Asshat

        He definitely means the “GO VOTE” people. It’s a good #1, and vegans at #2.

        CPA’s top 5:

        3. Greens
        4. Anyone in MLM
        5. People who watch The Good Place

        1. robc

          Season one was moderately amusing, but season 2 sucks.

          1. Chipwooder

            Yes, I liked the first season, but after the big reveal at the end of it, they obviously had no idea where they wanted to go with it.

    2. commodious spittoon

      I’m looking forward to the moratorium between midterm ads and 2020 campaign ads. Almost fifteen minutes of quiet.

  68. A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. “What? Do you expect me to spread my legs for you now?” says the wife. The husband replies, “Honey, I’m glad you like the flowers so much, but i think a vase will work just fine.”

    1. A religious couple is saving themselves for marriage and the day before the big day the husband-to-be goes to his fiancée and tells her “I’ve got a confession. Due to a hormonal problem when I was young, I have a baby dick; I hope you still want me.” His fiancée says “I love you so much, I still want to marry you, I don’t care about the size of your penis.”

      So after the wedding, the happy couple whisks away to a fancy hotel for their big moment. Things are getting hot and heavy and the wife finally reaches down her new husband’s pants to feel him for the first time, then recoils in horror. The husband exclaims “I warned you I had a baby dick! It’s 8 pounds 6 ounces and 19 inches long!”

      1. So a cowboy says to his friend “My favorite sex position is the rodeo.”

        “I haven’t heard of that one.” says the other cowboy, “What is it?”

        “Get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach around, grab her tits and whisper ‘these feel just like your sister’s’ and try and hold on for 8 seconds.”

        1. You hear the one about the Chinaman Godfather? He made them an offer they couldn’t understand.

          1. A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
            CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
            CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
            HAND JOB: $10.00
            He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
            “Can I help you?” she asks.
            “I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”
            “Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”
            The man replies, “Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.”

          2. A penis has a sad life.

            His hair’s a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor’s an asshole, his best friend’s a pussy, and his owner beats him.

          3. Guy: Wanna suck my dick?
            Girl: No.
            Guy: Probably for the best. I mean, it has a warning label. Beware, choking hazard!
            Girl: Isn’t that the warning they put on tiny objects?

          4. Tundra

            Winner.

          5. Don Escaped Texas

            you’re on, lady: paint my house

          6. Chipwooder

            Isn’t that one from The Sopranos? I think it was one of Uncle Jun’s

          7. It probably is. I try to collect stupid jokes wherever I can find ’em. The Sopranos had some funny ones.

          8. Chipwooder

            Yeah, it did. Another of Junior’s jokes was the Chinese guy who goes to the eye doctor. The doctor examines him and says “I’m sorry, you have cataracts.” The guy says “No, I not drive Cadirrac, drive Rincoln Continental”

    2. AlexinCT

      A recently wed couple are about to do the deed on their wedding night when the husband stops before taking off his pants and tells his bride that he has kneezels. She looks at him confused for a few seconds, then says you mean measles? He sighs and tells her no, kneezels. It is a condition where you knee looks all deformed and nasty because of some genetic malfunction. He then drops his pants and she sees his knees are all fooked up and nasty looking. She smiles at him and tells him that she is fine with that and still loves him.

      As he gets ready to take off his socks he stops again, and tells her in a low voice: “I also had tolio”. She pauses and then asks, do you mean polio? He shakes his head and explains that tolio is a genetic disorder that really messes up the way your toes look. As he slips of his socks she sees how his toes all are mangled and nasty from this condition. She is perturbed for a few seconds but quickly recovers and tells him that she loves him no matter what.

      With a big smile he then drops his drawers, at which point she says “Let me guess: you also had small cox?”….

  69. Chipwooder

    Tard Tuesday – Southern Illinois University ‘s DSA chapter is petitioning for “free” tuition, claiming it will stimulate the local economy.

    1. Michael

      That’s a level of stupidity on par with the claim that a business owner will prosper by paying his or her employees more because said employees will then have more money to buy the company’s product.

      1. AlexinCT

        Works for the bouncers at the strip club….

  70. The Late P Brooks

    Nuthouse with typewriters, pt 2

    For decades, Silicon Valley has been ground zero for a vaguely utopian form of individualism — the idea that a single engineer with a laptop and an internet connection could change the world, or at least a long-established industry. Class-consciousness was passé. Unions were the enemy of innovation, an anchor to the status quo.

    ———-

    “The myth of Silicon Valley is that all the power you need is embodied in you as an individual — if you want more money, go somewhere else,” said Harley Shaiken, a labor expert at the University of California, Berkeley. “What they were saying here was that all the economic power they had as individuals wasn’t enough.”

    And the consequences of that dawning realization, Mr. Shaiken and other labor experts said, could reverberate across the entire tech sector.

    Tech executives have long maintained that unions are inefficient — the Intel co-founder Robert Noyce once described unions as an existential threat — and that skilled tech workers don’t need formal protections because employers can’t afford to alienate them. Many tech companies also promote themselves as inherently pro-worker because they are less hierarchical, and more democratically run, than old-economy businesses.

    ———-

    Some observers agree. Michelle Miller, co-founder of CoWorker.org, which educates workers in tech and other industries on how to assert their labor rights, said that employees at Google “had to start thinking of themselves as some kind of collective” with the internal release last year of a memo by an employee alleging that women tended to be innately less capable of certain technical work.

    She said that workers who criticized the memo and defended diversity efforts on internal forums were threatened by people sympathetic to the memo’s author, James Damore, and had to band together to defend one another.

    Individualism and freedom of thought and expression are fine, in theory, but what happens when somebody gets a little too far outside the box?

    Throw off your chains. Collectivise. Embrace the communitarian hive mind.

    FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

  71. Psycho Effer

    An interesting political conversation popped up around my cube today. The Team Blue types were talking about how uncomfortable they were with the direction of their team and the Team Red types have a pile of fuck running for Senate (Corey Stewart). Several people from both camps noted that they looked at the Libertarian platform and thought ‘that’s not too bad compared to this shit’. Might this be the long awaited Libertarian Moment (TM)?

    1. commodious spittoon

      Maybe if the libertarians are willing to drop all the silly nonsense like welfare reform or legalizing heroin… the stuff about freedom of association, that’s got to go… as well as repealing civil asset forfeiture… and refusing to commit troops to every flare-up in the developing world, what, are you a bunch of peacenik commies? That’s gotta change… the minimum wage opposition has to go… let’s see… you guys don’t seem to like public sector unions much, and I think we can all agree police and teachers unions are the heartbeat of America. So you need to drop that noise.

      Jettison all that baggage and you’re ready to appeal to the American mainstream!

      1. KSuellington

        You forgot, “we can’t reduce spending without killing old people and children. Reducing spending is also when you don’t keep the same rate of increase in spending up. “

        There, now you are ready to go mainstream.

    2. R C Dean

      Might this be the long awaited Libertarian Moment

      No. The libertarian moment was somewhere between 1776 and 1789.

    3. AlexinCT

      It’s a psyche ops… They are hoping to convince others not to vote for team red so the team blue asshats win… Don’t fall for this shit.

    4. PieInTheSky

      how many Americans still work in cubes? never seen one in Romania

      1. Nephilium

        Sitting in a cube now.

      2. Luther Baldwin

        Where do you put worker bees?

        1. PieInTheSky

          open space everywhere

      3. They took our cubes away and gave us desks in an open area.

        (not my office, but similar to mine)

        1. PieInTheSky

          that is everyone in Bucharest. We do have some dividers here and there. I am lucky to have a sort of window seat in a corner so no one can see my screen and there is no one sitting behind me. I always hated as a kid when having a test and the teacher was looking over my shoulder and I do not want that feeling at work

          1. That is definitely an issue in my office, but the bigger issue is that we work with confidential information all the time. Sometimes that info is confidential even with respect to our aisle mates. The result is that the office is usually 40% full with the rest either working in conference rooms all day or working from home (like I am today).

        2. Luther Baldwin

          That is such a stupid, stupid trend. You could hardly implement a policy that kills productivity more thoroughly.

          1. I work from home when I need to get something done. My 18 month old is less of a productivity killer than the open office.

          2. Mojeaux

            I had to build a wall and put in a door to keep my family from bugging me while I work, as if I’m actually available mentally, and the door still doesn’t work.

            That said, an open office would be absolute and utter hell to me. I don’t think I’d take a job that was open office.

        3. Sean

          I couldn’t do that. That would drive me crazy.

          Plus I like to keep my office messy. It makes it look like I’m really busy.

          1. Luther Baldwin

            I don’t care to have an office – I just don’t want to be distracted every five minutes nor do I want to listen in on my five nearest neighbor’s conversations. It’s madness.

        4. Creosote Achilles

          Jesus. When I interviewed one of my requirements was no work places with an open area desks like that. Bare minimum was a full size cube. One of the reasons I’m enjoying the current gig is that I have my own, no shit office. It’s basically a jail cell sized office. But it has a window to the courtyard and my own door that locks and everything, and I even got a small budget to decorate.

          1. AlexinCT

            Buy yourself some drapes… The same ones the UN offices use…

  72. KSuellington

    We desperately need the Monty Brewster rule; if “none of the above” wins another election is held and any of the previous candidates can’t run in it.

    1. Just leave the seat vacant for the term and and don’t amend the quorum rules.

      1. KSuellington

        Yes, at least until the next November it should be empty. If I win the super lotto I will try and make this happen.

        1. robc

          No, it should be empty for its full term. If None of the Above wins, it wins for the full term of office.

      2. robc

        THIS

      3. PieInTheSky

        no give it to the oldest person in the district

  73. MikeS

    A couple $1.99 Kindle deals that I thought some here may be interested in:

    The Tunnels: Escapes Under the Berlin Wall and the Historic Films the JFK White House Tried to Kill

    In the summer of 1962, the year after the rise of the Berlin Wall, a group of young West Germans risked prison, Stasi torture, and even death to liberate friends, lovers, and strangers in East Berlin by digging tunnels under the Wall. Then two U.S. television networks heard about the secret projects and raced to be first to document them from the inside. NBC and CBS funded two separate tunnels in return for the right to film the escapes, planning spectacular prime-time specials. President John F. Kennedy, however, was wary of anything that might spark a confrontation with the Soviets, having said, “A wall is better than a war,” and even confessing to Secretary of State Dean Rusk, “We don’t care about East Berlin.” JFK approved unprecedented maneuvers to quash both documentaries, testing the limits of a free press in an era of escalating nuclear tensions.

    1. Luther Baldwin

      Christ, what an asshole.

      1. KSuellington

        I was just on a Sammy Davis Jr. kick and reading about his life and watching videos of him perform. One story that stuck out that has parallels to today was his support of Nixon. He got a ton of shit for that from blacks, even getting roundly booed a few times because he was considered a race traitor. He had previously supported JFK, but when the inauguration happened, supposedly JFK said that he did not want him invited to the party because he was black and might be seen cavorting with white women.

        1. Soyboy

          The optics, man, the optics!

    2. R C Dean

      NBC and CBS funded two separate tunnels in return for the right to film the escapes,

      Two thoughts:

      (1) Wow. Talk about “it was a different time”.

      (2) Capitalism FTW.

    3. MikeS

      The other one:

      Scalia Speaks: Reflections on Law, Faith, and Life Well Lived

      This definitive collection of beloved Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s finest speeches covers topics as varied as the law, faith, virtue, pastimes, and his heroes and friends. Featuring a foreword by longtime friend Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and an intimate introduction by his youngest son, this volume includes dozens of speeches, some deeply personal, that have never before been published. Christopher J. Scalia and the Justice’s former law clerk Edward Whelan selected the speeches.

    4. ron73440

      Thanks, looks neat, bought it and I might read it next November at the rate I’m going.

      Damn you Amazon for giving me so many cheap kindle books that I can’t keep up!

  74. westernsloper

    This morning I woke too early, thanks time change, and perused the twitter. Gillespie said it was worth a read, and linked to Shikha’s latest so I read it. I learned a new term, and it is what most of you are. Y’all are Trump denialists. In what is an excerpt from her article at The Week, she raged on Trump and his evils for numerous paragraphs and the only thing I could take from her article is she thinks to stop Trump’s evil we should all vote team blue. (Which after further reading, is exactly what she says in her The Week article) I don’t get this. I get not voting, or voting L but to vote for any candidate who runs on single payer, ending the tax cuts, and more regulation especially in the financial world seems the antithesis of what a libertarian publication or writer should be advocating. I don’t get it. It did remind me why I quite reading Reason though.

    1. AlexinCT

      Shikha should find a pine cone and fuck her ass with it.

    2. R C Dean

      the antithesis of what a libertarian publication or writer should be advocating. I don’t get it.

      I think you get it just fine.

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      I noticed your tweet when I got up at 5:30 central and wondered: does he do this every day ?

      1. westernsloper

        Naaa, but I am not working right now so I don’t have to get ready for work in the am so I just fuck off. I might get a month of it in before I am back to the grind.

    4. Psycho Effer

      Reading the Reason website and commentariate changed me from a conservative to a libertarian in the early to mid 2000s. Reading the Reason website and commentariate in the last 3 years is changing me from a libertarian to a conservative.

      1. westernsloper

        lol

      2. Jarflax

        #metoo

      3. Endless Mike

        I’m still a libertarian, I’m apparently just not a Libertarian anymore.

      4. I thought of myself and described myself as a libertarian from the early 2000s on, and found Reason some time in 2010s. Same thing happened to me during the tail end of Obama and into Trump. I’ve since stopped calling myself a libertarian in favor of “classical liberal”, and I find myself in closer agreement with The Federalist than Reason most of the time. Reason really has become the stereotypical cosmotarian outlet, it seems.

        1. Soyboy

          “classical liberal”

          NAZI DOG WHISTLE

    5. Rebel Scum

      I venture back on occasion. PB is as dishonest as ever. Tony is more unhinged and detached from reality than ever. He may actually have real issues. Trump has broken many a persons brain.

    6. Yep. I’m not a Trump supporter (although I have to say I don’t have too many problems with him thus far) but voting for the Dems as a protest is a case of the cure being much worse than the disease.

  75. Mojeaux

    If I say I voted, am I virtue signalling?

    If I say I didn’t vote, am I sticking it to the man?

    Does anybody really know what time it is?

    Does anybody really care?

    1. AlexinCT

      Damn.. those are some hard questions young lady..

    2. PieInTheSky

      At least write me in. There are plenty of glibs writing in ZARDOZ but what about the humble Pie?

      1. Mojeaux

        I did vote for the D for state auditor because she’s done a verifiably good job. People who do a good job should not lose their jobs.

      1. Soyboy

        LOL

    3. Luther Baldwin

      It is pitch dark out and pouring rain. Can I just say I threw a few votes at losing candidates and not go outside?

    4. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

      About time?

  76. The Late P Brooks

    Shocking revelation

    After conducting a yearlong search for a second home, Amazon has switched gears and is now finalizing plans to have a total of 50,000 employees in two locations, according to people familiar with the decision-making process.

    The company is nearing a deal to move to the Long Island City neighborhood of Queens, according to two of the people briefed on the discussions. Amazon is also close to a deal to move to the Crystal City area of Arlington, Va., a Washington suburb, one of the people said. Amazon already has more employees in those two areas than anywhere else outside of Seattle, its home base, and the Bay Area.

    ——–
    Picking multiple sites would allow it to tap into two pools of talented labor and perhaps avoid being blamed for all of the housing and traffic woes of dominating a single area. It could also give the company greater leverage in negotiating tax incentives, experts said.

    ———

    Seattle has been one of the fastest growing cities in the country, in part because of Amazon’s growth. The company has about 45,000 employees in the city, and the company said it needed to hire more employees than the city could attract or absorb.

    “Not everybody wants to live in the Northwest,” Jeff Wilke, the head of Amazon’s retail division, said at a conference last year. “It’s been terrific for me and my family, but I think we may find another location allows us to recruit a different collection of employees.”

    Air-dropping an operation of that size into a large metropolitan area might be complicated and disruptive? You don’t say.

    And we certainly wouldn’t want to discount the benefit (to Amazon) of splitting the operation and the associated cumulative emoluments.

    “We cannot allow an economic incentive gap!”

    1. R C Dean

      The company is nearing a deal to move to the Long Island City neighborhood of Queens, according to two of the people briefed on the discussions. Amazon is also close to a deal to move to the Crystal City area of Arlington, Va., a Washington suburb,

      Who the fuck would move a major business operation to NYC?

      1. PieInTheSky

        just move it all to Bucharest

      2. Luther Baldwin

        Do you even crony, bruh?

    2. wdalasio

      As many hubs as Amazon can have, the better for them. Diversification is pretty basic when it comes to risk management. And a headquarters in Seattle is just teeming with political risk.

      1. R C Dean

        If I’m trying to hedge against political risk, I sure as hell don’t do it in NYC.

    3. PieInTheSky

      Arlington, Va., a Washington suburb, – that is just for lobby

  77. Rebel Scum

    Someone at work just said that they voted absentee…on Saturday. Reason? Work today. Though most people here work plenty of ot, we are only expected to be here 8-5 and the company has no problem letting people take the time to vote as it advocates civic and community engagement. In fact, on election days we usually get a nice email about the importance of voting from the cfo. My point: absentee voting is out of hand and needs severe reform (as do other aspects).

    I got up at 5 and got my ass to the polls at 6 and still waited 45 min to vote. It ain’t that difficult.

    1. wdalasio

      I’m convinced that the entire point of trying to get massive voter participation is to leverage ignorance. Lots of voters have, at best a rudimentary understanding of the issues (I’m not being a snob here. For most people the issues in most elections are academic. The issues have little direct consequence on their lives). As a result, they go along with the loudest voices in the popular culture. Unsurprisingly, the party with the most influence in the popular culture is the party that pushes for greater voter participation.

      1. kbolino

        Maybe. I just think they want to do away with actual democratic choice without all the dirty work. Control the narrative, silence the opposition*, and shame people into doing what you want.

        * = This doesn’t mean Republicans per se, but rather any voices they deem to be outside the acceptable bounds of discourse. The Overton Window has been reified.

      2. AlexinCT

        Lots of voters have, at best a rudimentary understanding of the issues (I’m not being a snob here

        No, you are being way too nice about how fucking stupid and indoctrinated these people can be.

    2. I got up at 5 and got my ass to the polls at 6 and still waited 45 min to vote. It ain’t that difficult.

      Yeesh. I waltzed in at 9:30 and was home by 9:40.

      /benefits of living in the “rural crescent”

      1. KSuellington

        I don’t think I’ve ever waited more than five minutes to vote. I switched my party from Lib to independent this year because of the shitshow of 16 and also switched over to mail in to make it easier. A 45 minute wait is insane.

  78. R C Dean

    Yesterday’s prediction, reposted:

    May not be around this afternoon, so here is my prediction for tomorrow:

    Senate: Repubs pick up 4 seats.

    House: This is just a toss-up in my mind, but I’m going with Dems pick up 26 seats and take control. Triggering an unholy shitshow of partisan conflict in DC through the next election, giving Trump exactly the environment he thrives in. The upside is that with a Dem House, Mueller can finally write up a report, give it to the House for use in the impeachment hearings, and go the fuck away already.

    Still OK with it. And here’s the thing: With Romney in the Senate, that’s another Dem-Lite Rino essentially taking over Flake’s role as “Clueless Dumbass from a Western State”, so they’ll still need at least a four-vote cushion. what with Murkowski and Snow still stinking up the joint.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      My hope is that they pick up enough seats in the Senate to totally remove the need to suck up to the squishes like Murkowski and Snow. How satisfying would it be to tell them “sure go vote with the Dems, we don’t need you. In fact we dare you to vote against the party. See how that works out for you in the next election.”

    2. Private Chipperbot

      R’s pick up a few Senate seats; D’s take house.

      Dream scenario is that R’s hold house by 1. That would be hilarious.

      1. Rebel Scum

        That would be hilarious.

        Seconded.

        1. R C Dean

          If the House is as close as I think it will be, we probably won’t know for at least a couple of days. Of course, if its within the margin of lawyer, I expect the Dems to eke out a few miraculous victories as provisional ballots are counted discovered manufactured.

          1. whiz

            margin of lawyer

            That’s a term I never heard before. Was that supposed to be “error,” or are you expected a bunch of lawsuits?

          2. R C Dean

            “Margin of lawyer” is a term used to describe election results so close that there will be a recount, with lawyers arguing over ballots. Oddly, the Dems win a disproportionate number of these because (I am speculating) they do a better job of stuffing ballot boxes.

        2. AlexinCT

          Thirded.

  79. Pat

    Just returned from the polls.

    If Dean Heller loses my mom is blaming me personally.

    1. PieInTheSky

      you two filmed a sex tape?

      1. Pat

        Well, he has fucked me as a Nevada voter.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        He’s in Nevada, not Alabama.

    2. Where does Winston’s mom fit in all of this?

      1. AlexinCT

        Inquiring minds want to know…

  80. The Late P Brooks

    Who the fuck would move a major business operation to NYC?

    Somebody for whom the rules do not apply.

    Exemptions today, exemptions tomorrow, exemptions forever!

    1. R C Dean

      “I am altering the deal. Pray that I don’t alter it any further.”

  81. PieInTheSky

    so when do the results of this election thing come in?

    1. Jarflax

      They are in. The lying assholes won and the asshole liars lost.

    2. Nephilium

      Polls usually close around 19:30 local time. Then results start trickling out. But with this shitshow of an election, I’m expecting at least 10 recounts, which could delay the final results for several weeks.

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      six time zones each with tons of their own jurisdictions and rules

      since every House seat is in play, we won’t officially know who took the majority until CA closes, but some time after MO and IA close we’ll be fairly sure

    4. Gadfly

      Short answer: tomorrow.

      Long answer: 538 has a breakdown of when each set of polls close and what to watch for, hour by hour this evening.

  82. The Late P Brooks

    Amazon executives met two weeks ago with Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo in the governor’s Manhattan office, said one of the people briefed on the process, adding that the state had offered potentially hundreds of millions of dollars in subsidies. Executives met separately with Mayor Bill de Blasio, a person briefed on that discussion said. Long Island City is a short subway ride across the East River from Midtown Manhattan.

    “I am doing everything I can,” Governor Cuomo told reporters when asked Monday about the state’s efforts to lure the company. “We have a great incentive package,” he said.

    Everything he can.

    I think they should put HQ2 in Fort Edward.

    1. Luther Baldwin

      I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that this was kept hush-hush during election season.

  83. kbolino

    The story that Juvenile Bluster posted yesterday about the guy getting killed because he refused to give up his guns (at least, that’s my read on it) has been “updated” but it doesn’t really add anything (except more words) beyond the dead man’s name (none of the officers are named, of course). They don’t explain why the “protective order” (= confiscation order) was issued nor do they explain whether that was the matter over which he became “irate”.

    1. westernsloper

      I am very curious why he was red flagged. This is something that should be public information but I doubt it is. These red flag laws are very dangerous/slippery slope imho.

  84. Pat

    Disabled Houston veteran: MSNBC crew blocked handicapped spots at polling place

    HOUSTON — A disabled Air Force veteran posted photos online of an MSNBC news crew blocking handicapped parking outside an early voting place in southwest Houston Tuesday.

    “They should know better,” James Berrie, the veteran said.

    The crew covering Texas elections at the Bayland Community Center used two handicapped spaces and one handicapped loading zone to park a camera, lights, equipment and correspondent Mariana Atencio, Berrie said.

    He and his wife, Sarah, drove their van to the center for early voting. When they arrived around 8 a.m., the couple saw MSNBC blocking the only van accessible parking spot. So the Berries parked in a back lot. Cars crammed around the couple’s van left little room for Berrie’s ramp and power chair to move.

    1. AlexinCT

      Old story, but I remember that these reporters were on social media complaining someone had the temerity to call them out for being asshats.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Remember, don’t call the cops unless you want someone to get shot. That being said, shoulda called the cops.

  85. The Late P Brooks

    It is pitch dark out and pouring rain. Can I just say I threw a few votes at losing candidates and not go outside?

    ~4″ of snow and no sign of letting up. I’m seriously thinking about jumping back into bed and finding a movie to watch.

    1. westernsloper

      If you don’t vote, just know you are responsible for whatever horrible things that happen over the next two years. It’s up to you.

  86. Mojeaux

    Good guy with a gun.

    Benjamin Seadorf was with his four children on Saturday when he suddenly heard what he described as “blood-curling screams” coming from outside his home near 12th Street and Van Brunt Boulevard.

    “She definitely was in fear of her life,” Seadorf said. “She was screaming at the top of her lungs, profusely bawling. She just kept screaming, ‘Help me! Help! Somebody, please help me!’ over and over again.”

    Security video shows Seadorf running out his front door with his 9-millimeter handgun toward the intersection where a silver car was stopped at a traffic light.

    You can’t see much of what happens next because a tree is blocking the car, but a police report details a brutal attack involving Alarick Williams and the mother of his three children.

    “I was completely in shock that he started beating on her and forcing her in the car,” Seadorf said.

    Williams is accused of violently grabbing the victim, forcefully shoving her back into the car and strangling her until she lost consciousness. He started beating her because she wanted him to drop her off at her cousin’s house, according to the report.

    This all happened in front of the couple’s three young children who were in the back seat.

    “As I get close to the vehicle, I noticed her top’s ripped off,” Seadorf said. “No shirt on. Her bras halfway off, and her pants were halfway off because he kept grabbing her.”

    Seadorf approached the car with his gun pointed at Williams then told him to get out and down on the ground.

    1. commodious spittoon

      “Armed assailant holds up couple and children during family outing.”

      1. Mojeaux

        “Police grateful someone else did their job for them.”

        1. commodious spittoon

          I like the grudging nongratulation given at the end of the article. “Don’t risk your hide, call the police! And while you’re waiting half an hour till they roll up, take some photos, I guess. But don’t touch that icky gun, those are for police.”

          1. Mojeaux

            In that neighborhood, it would’ve been a lot longer than 30 minutes. It’s not a neighborhood to live in without a gun at the ready.

  87. Juvenile Bluster

    My election night plans:

    1. Turn on XBox One
    2. Play Red Dead Redemption 2

    I can’t drink alcohol, but prescription benzos may be used in case people try and intrude on my life with election results.

    1. R C Dean

      prescription benzos

      9mm, or .45 ACP?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        2 mg Klonopin, because I’m just that crazy.

        My last appointment with my psych, she had to go onto her computer and type my name into a database before she’d write the prescription. She apologized and rolled her eyes at it, told me the state is now forcing them to do that before prescribing scheduled medications. I guess they’re looking for people who are doctor shopping or whatever? Or maybe they’re trying to discourage people from writing the prescriptions.

        1. kbolino

          2 mg Klonopin, because I’m just that crazy.

          At that dosage for an extended period of time, I think it’s more of a feedback loop than a one-way causality arrow.

        2. westernsloper

          I would consider they are adding people to the “these people have no second amendment” list.

    2. Just Say’n

      Judging by Twitter, I’d say Democrats are going to kill it in Brooklyn. White liberal gentrifiers for the win!

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Minus 5 social credit score points for repeating something you saw on Neontaster’s twitter feed.

        1. Just Say’n

          Damn it, you caught me.

          I’m not clever enough to come up with zingers like that.

    3. Psycho Effer

      Shit, I need to buy RDR2.

    4. commodious spittoon

      Benzos to live with the disgrace of console peasantry?

      (In fairness, I’m not buying any current-year games till I upgrade my video card.)

    1. Just Say’n

      “WTF- We love Nazis Now: How Intersectionality Doesn’t Make a Lick of Sense”

      – Teen Vogue

    2. commodious spittoon

      Les boys got leather straps
      Les boys got SS caps

    3. LJW

      Looks more like hazing to me.

      1. AlexinCT

        That is some seriously nasty hazing.. they took pics so they could blackmail the asshats with it..

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Germans….

      Never change

  88. Just Say’n

    Sweet Meteor O’Death

    “Have a fun Election Day and stay relaxed!

    Also, if your side loses, just remember one thing: you and your children will die in concentration camps built by the winners of tonight’s contest.”

    1. Just Say’n

      If only…

    2. Mr Lizard

      “you and your children will die in concentration camps built by the winners of tonight’s contest.”

      Or my people, so no sense in sweating it either way

      1. Just Say’n

        You’re people are already in charge. You’re not fooling anyone

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        That reminds me. (((We))) are still waiting for our gold delivery for the month. You know, the one you give us for being the world’s scapegoats and hiding who really controls everything.

        1. I don’t think the Netanyahu made its rendezvous at Perseus 6.

    1. Endless Mike

      I can’t respect a man who doesn’t follow his ambitions.
      https://i.imgflip.com/1hnygk.jpg

  89. Ed Wuncler

    All this virtue signalling about voting is really getting to me.

    People are so invested in voting because they see government as a way to force their view of the world on others. Fuck them all and fuck their stickers.

    1. Just Say’n

      The Faith of Wokeness views the state as both God and the Devil, depending on the principal at the helm. It’s secular Manichaeism

      1. Ed Wuncler

        They have this contradictory obsession with the democratic process. If they win, it’s because the “will” of the people have spoken but if the GOP wins, it’s because of Russians/dark money, voter suppression. Fuck them.

        1. Just Say’n

          Only a man of faith could accept such duplicity and not find any inconsistency. That’s one of many reasons why progressivism should be viewed more as a religious faith than a political disposition. If we’re being honest, though, progressivism was always heavily intertwined with esoteric concepts and secular religious piety. Even it’s name furthers the false Hegelian idea of humanity forever marching toward “progress”.

    2. kbolino

      I’m torn between whether not voting or voting against the Democrats (which isn’t always the same as voting for Republicans) is the greater protest choice. Given all the “go vote” bullshit, I’m leaning towards the former.

      1. Ed Wuncler

        I’m voting all R this time. I’ll hate myself for it but the way the Left’s been acting for the past couple of years, a turd sandwich is better than a turd ice cream with shards of class as its topping.

        1. Me too, right down the line. Not because I’m particularly enamored of the R candidates, but just because the D’s have had a lock on my area for as long as I can remember. Maryland’s blueness has made it progressively shittier (see what I did there?) for as long as I can remember, and the TDS has made it even worse. At this point, I’m voting against a one-party state as much as I’m voting to say, “Look, you crazy fucks, as God is my witness I will vote for Donald Trump’s reelection if you don’t cut it out! I swear to God I will!”

          1. Ed Wuncler

            It’s the same thing in my state. The Democrats have had an iron grip on Illinois for as long as I can remember and they fucked things up really badly here. But when some Republican Governor, especially a noodle dick like Rauner tries to change stuff, they throw a hissy fit and refuse to take any responsibility for their shittiness. And the worst thing about the elections in Illinois is that they tried to pair every GOP candidate with Trump even though Trump had nothing to do with how shitty our state is.

          2. I’m on the border of the DC and Baltimore media markets, so I see a lot of political ads for northern VA. Apparently there’s a guy running for the House as a Dem (I think for a northern VA district) who’s major platform is that he won’t vote with Nancy Pelosi, which I find absolutely hilarious.

      2. R C Dean

        Or, “You fuckers wanted me to vote, so I did. Happy now?”

      3. Luther Baldwin

        I just got back from doing the latter. Even those sneaky judges who got themselves on both the D and R lines got nothing from me.

        Although, getting an eyeful of the daytime voter pool kind of convinces me that we’re doomed no matter what.

  90. Bad Weather = Global Warming = Trump = Voter Suppression. Prepping for another excuse / talking point for losing.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOV8Qt3M4I0

    1. And here we go… “The conventional wisdom is that inclement weather helps Republicans because it discourages people from making the trip to vote.”

      https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/11/election-day-live-updates-midterms-voting-campaigning-weather-news.html

      1. kbolino

        Does the author think if nobody votes, the Republicans win by default?

        1. Bad Weather = Global Warming = Trump = Voter Suppression. Is the logic not clear?

        2. kinnath

          No Dems are poor, don’t have private vehicles, and are just to fucking lazy to go out in bad weather.

          This gives the deplorables in monster trucks a competitive advantage.

      2. Just Say’n

        Lower voter turnout always benefits Republicans. That’s why Chicago holds its local races in February in an off year.

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Only Republican voters can handle some rain.

        The Democrats really like to infantilize their supporters.

    1. Just Say’n

      LOL

      Isn’t this the same place that rated “if you like your health insurance, you can keep your health insurance” as “mostly true” and then two years later rated the exact same statement as its lie of the year?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s just coincidence that they stall on weighing in on BS from Democrats until they absolutely can’t ignore it anymore

    3. whiz

      Methinks they doth protest too much.

  91. R C Dean

    On the plus side, Mrs. Dean made <a href="https://simplydesigning.porch.com/sous-vide-dark-chocolate-pots-de-creme/&quot; title="chocolate pot de creme” target=”_blank” >chocolate pot de creme* with the sous vide for watching results tonight. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t bother, but she wants to, so . . . .

    Holy crap, that stuff is delish. And stupid easy to make with the sous vide.

    *Different recipe, but that one’s close.

    1. R C Dean

      Well, that’s fucked up. Try again.

      1. westernsloper

        I have never heard of such a thing. I will give this a try, thanks.

    1. whiz

      I’m not sure who’s dumber — the candidate or someone who votes for her.

      1. AlexinCT

        Why can’t we get both?

  92. The Late P Brooks

    New York congressional candidate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had a quick answer when asked how Americans would pay for the ‘Medicare for all’ plan she and other socialist-leaning Democrats favor: “Just pay for it.”

    “We’re not broke. We’ve still got checks!”

  93. The Late P Brooks

    It’s inequality, all the way down

    This isn’t a story about American childhood; it’s about American inequality.

    “Kids’ sports has seen an explosion of travel-team culture, where rich parents are writing a $3,000 check to get their kids on super teams from two counties, or two states, away,” said Tom Farrey, the executive director of Aspen’s Sports & Society program. Expensive travel leagues siphon off talented young athletes from well-off families, leaving behind desiccated local leagues with fewer players, fewer involved parents, and fewer resources. “When these kids move to the travel team, you pull bodies out of the local town’s recreation league, and it sends a message [to those] who didn’t get onto that track that they don’t really have a future in the sport.” The result is a classist system: the travel-team talents and the local leftovers.

    Unsurprisingly, the leftovers often lose interest. As Chris Moore, the executive officer of the U.S. Youth Soccer Association, told The New York Times, “If you can’t make a travel team, some kids may say, ‘What’s the point?’ and quit playing altogether.”

    In short, the American system of youth sports—serving the talented, and often rich, individual at the expense of the collective—has taken a metal bat to the values of participation and universal development. Youth sports has become a pay-to-play machine.

    Boo hoo hoo. Oh, no, not the collective, George.

    What I noticed about kids’ sports these days, while watching the ex-girlfriends kids’ soccer games: none of those kids… NOT ONE! looked like they were having fun. Why the fuck bother?

    1. Luther Baldwin

      kids’ soccer games

      Really? I remember it being a blast.