You’re supposed to kick it through the uprights.

Aaron Rogers spends half the game running from a collapsed pocket and Tom Brady sees pressure once as he’s tossing the ball to wide open guys and ESPN thinks the game showed who the GOAT is.  SMDH. Of course the Patriots won Your other NFL winers were: Chicago, Kansas City, Miami, Minnesoooooooooda, Hot-lanta, Carolina, the Pittsburgh Stillers, Houston (for the sixth time in a row after some people wrote the season off), San Diego Los Angeles (AFC), and New Orleans (over Los Angeles (NFC). The Cowboys pay the Titans tonight.

Across the pond, your EPL that matter results were: Man City won big. Chelsea won big and Liverpool drew Arsenhole, as all three remain undefeated but Man City went top with one fewer draw.  Liverpool need to start closing games out like this if they ant to win the league this year.

Gonna have to be better than that in East Lansing this weekend.

And after catching fire for a few games, the Red Wings are back to sucking ass. Meanwhile, Tampa, Toronto and the Islanders are hot in the Wales Conference while the Predators, Flames and MINNESOOOOODA WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD are riding high in the Campbell.  Still early days though, so don’t start planning those banner ceremonies, Nashville or Tampa.

And on the CFB front, Alabama are proving to be worth the hype, Kentucky fell back to earth, Ohio State squeaked by a 2-7 shitty Nebraska team and Notre Dame have their destiny in their own hands. Also, the Pac 12 South is a dumpster fire of mediocrity.

If you were born on this day, you share that distinction with the following: Socialist Eugene V Debs, Senator Strom Thurmond, one of the most beautiful actresses of all time (and a freak!) Vivien Leigh, cowboy Roy Rogers, wife-beater Ike Turner, musician Art Garfunkel, former basketball player and idiot of an announcer Bill Walton, rockers Rob Fisher, Mike Score and David Moyse, Canadian person Bryan Adams, mannish actress Tilda Swinton, actress Tatum O’Neal, guitarist Jonny Greenwood, weepy asshat golfer Bubba Watson, and overrated football player (and sexual assault victim at the hands of Lena Dunham) Odell Beckham, Jr.

Creating chaos and family arguments for generations

Its also the day on which the following events occurred: the Cubans taught Columbus about corn, Copernicus watched a lunar eclipse, Guy Fawkes tried to blow up King James I and the British parliament, Susan B Anthony first voted, the board game “Monopoly” was released, HOFer Jean Beliveau scored 3 goals in 44 seconds on HOFer Terry Sawchuk, the “Nat King Cole Show” debuted, George Foreman became heavyweight champion at the age of 45, Davey Johnson resigned…and was named AL Manager of the year two hours later, Saddam Hussein was sentenced to death, and the Chinese government placed Ai Weiwei under house arrest.

That’s all of that.  Now…the links!

Dems and Repubs both brace for surprises as Election Day is almost upon us. They’ll do the same in two years when the next “most important election ever” takes place. Rinse and repeat every two years until the nation finally gets its shit together and has a (hopefully violence-free) civil war to break shit up.

Looks like tensions with Iran are running high again. Sorry, Iranian leaders. Oil prices are still dropping and your threats are becoming more and more meaningless.  Have a nice time until your people finally rise up and throw you in the Persian gulf.

I didn’t know assholes could be so stunning and brave.

SNL’s new motto: when they go low, we make fun of the ones on the other side who lost an eye in Afghanistan to an IED.  Its a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for them.

Are San Franciscans dumb enough to abdicate more of their rights as property owners?  Magic 8-ball says “Probably”. Actually, they’re not voting to give up their property rights. The people who don’t own property are voting to have the property rights taken away from the people who own it.  Because that’s what half of Democracy is: finding the percentage of voters you need in order to steal from the percentage that opposes you…and then holding an election.

Chicago abandons plan to sell valuable painting in order to fund library upgrade. Decides he will shakedown residents instead.

And more anti-Semitic attacks take place in that bastion of righter-wing extremism known as Brooklyn. No word yet which Dem politicians these attackers worked for, since they haven’t been caught yet. You know, because that’s what the last attacker’s deal was…although its been horribly underreported in the media.

And as the Taliban start flexing their muscles again in Afghanistan, maybe it’s finally time that we leave that place to the Afghanis to settle.

The first song I chose. The second song I chose. The third song I chose. I know there are some serious fans out there, but I never got all that into them. I consider them to be an adequate group with a catalog filled with mediocrity and the occasional gem…which I could say about a lot of groups.  Anyway, argue about it in the comments.

That’s all she wrote. Have a great day.