The winds across the barren plain howled, cold, with stinging flecks of rock picked up by gusts.
“Tell us of 2020,” the crone whispered.
“Many plans are in motion, Grandmother,” Hillary said. “Plans within plans, plans for plans.”
“Speak plainly or not at all,” the old woman said.
“The plan is largely the same as 2016,” Hillary said. Someone behind her groaned loudly.
“BUT THIS TIME, I will succeed!” Hillary said through gritted teeth.
The Pussy Hat Horde behind her shifted their weight and scuffed the ground with their expensive shoes, but otherwise fell silent.
“Our servants in the media will attack the fool at all turns. There will be TV reports of his malfeasance, scathing articles in The Atlantic and New Yorker, and many women will come forward to accuse him of sexual misdeeds. He has groped and mishandled many women, old and young, beautiful and ugly, fat and only a little chunky. Something will stick this time. Surely something will stick!”
“His powers against holy rage are various and sundry,” the crone said.
“He cannot hide behind the power of the dingus forever!” Hillary said through gritted dentures.
“Hi-yo!” someone yelled.
“We have #metoo on our side now,” Hillary continued. “It won’t be like last time. Comey isn’t…”
“Say not his foul name!” the crone snapped, suddenly animated.
“Yes, Grandmother,” Hillary said.
“Emails!” the horde wailed in terror.
“SILENCE!” the ancient figure thundered.
Grumbling and crying and squatting to pee in fright, the Pussy Horde took some time to calm, even with Hillary chanting Sarah MacLaughlin lyrics to soothe them.
“And who will be your running mate?” the crone inquired.
“Harris or Booker, whichever of them submits first.”
“Intersectionality,” the crone crooned contentedly.
“Intersectionality,” the horde sighed.
“Like totes intersectional!” a deformed 14-year-old in the front row said brightly.
“Booker has the power of the dingus on his side,” the crone said.
“And charisma,” Hillary said. “Like Barry.” She spat on the ground and it sizzled.
“You might not be able to control him. He might be a danger in the primary,” the crone pointed out. Hillary spat again, a fat black blob of corruption.
“Harris might be better. More… malleable,” Hillary said. “She isn’t too bright, though, and I can’t afford a Palin on my ticket.”
“Joe served Barry well,” the crone observed.
“I love Joe! He’s just so dreamy!” one of the horde said. Those around her groped her back into silence.
“But a double female ticket,” mused Hillary. “Someone so thoroughly and amazingly qualified as me and a… person of intersectionality like Harris. We could be unstoppable. We could wash the Republican taint from America forever!’
Some in the horde giggled.
“Victory will be ours,” the crone said dustily. Rivulets of piss were running off the edge of the dais.
Comments
294 responses to “The Hat and The Hair Extended Universe: Hillary, The Becoming: Episode 22”
It’s cruel that these articles drop at lunchtime for us east coasters.
Compared to most of SugarFree’s writing, this is rated G.
I just had dinner. Fried catfish (wels not whatever yuz rednecks eat in the US)
Unless you pulled it out of the bottom of the river bare-handed, it ain’t catfish.
I actually speared it. You go at night and use a bright light to confuse em. Also I am handy with a car battery
Cool.
What?
it was a joke on electricity fishing
Never heard of it.
What kind of electricity do you catch? Renewable I hope.
We, in the States, are more partial to dynamite fishing.
Is that when you tie a rope to a battery and throw it at the fish?
I never heard of it either. Something… conspicuous about the wikipedia article…
“Electrofishing”? Isn’t that the process where you apply a thin layer of fish to a metal anode?
“more partial to dynamite fishing”
Relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1WEowGA68k
Where I live, there is a popular past time for catching catfish called “noodling”.
You actually wiggle your fingers to get the catfish to go after them and then pull the catfish out of the water when they try to swallow them.
I am not making this up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noodling
Does nobody notice my references?
Did someone say something just now ? I swear I heard something!
No, nothing important, Urthona. Just a government drone, going about his day.
*Bzz* *Bzz* *stamps ‘Deny’ on Mike S’ paperwork*
My preferred method for catching channel-catfish is to fill a burlap bag full of dry dog food throw it in the water, wait about two hours, then cast with stink bait around that area. It attracts them like a fly to cow shit. Easy pickings.
A popular thing to do in the deep South, only with frogs instead of fish.
Oh, that’s how the Germans did it. They confused the French army with bright lights.
That’s no big accomplishments, cause French military training usually starts & ends with how to wave the white flag.
I have this contrarian urge to defend th French, but it’s hard to do when their best unit is the Foreign Legion.
My view of the French was significantly improved after reading up a bit about what they experienced in WWI. Not hard to see how a significant portion said, “Fuck it, not again.”
Yes, exactly. A lot of people don’t realize that. Less than one month into the war, 27,000 Frenchmen were killed on a single day, August 22 1914. That’s more KIA than Americans sustained in the entire American Revolution. By the first week of September, one month of war had cost the French between 260,000 and 330,000 casualties, of whom about 75,000 were killed.
I can strongly recommend the book: “The Guns of August” which covers their horrific losses in that opening month of WW1. The French war plan at the time was one of offense – elan ! – at all costs.
Giggin’…
Giggity.
Hillary spat again, a fat black blob of corruption.
Damn, that’s good.
Rivulets of piss were running off the edge of the dais.
You are truly an artist, painting pictures with words. Bravo!
He just writes what he sees… in the madness on the back of his eyelids.
Related:
Not giving a woman an orgasm is oppression.
https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/bad-sex-women-relationships-public-health-england-dissatisfied-relationships-a8417466.html
Q don’t be selfish eat that pussy.
Or is it not kosher?
Depends: fish and cheese at the same time – not kosher.
Otherwise, you’re good.
Wise words Q.
Don’t even get me started about that shit. I’ll see your “women have a hard time having orgasms” and raise you one “chore nut”, which, if you’re unfamiliar with the terminology, is when you’re not interested but your special someone is nagging you for sex, and if you don’t break one off it’s going to be a big emotional scene, so you’ve got to psyche yourself into it enough to produce some evidence, shall we say, even though all you can think about is going the fuck to sleep.
I am unfamiliar because I’m never not interested.
This is how I felt until I was introduced to the concept of double shifts when I was working as a line cook.
Lay back and let her do all the work?
This.
Naptown is speaking a foreign language.
Pay no attention to them Bill, they are young. Time will teach them more than any explanation can.
I see a whole lot of people who have never learned the value of a good nap.
Sorry man but: Even bad sex >>>>> Good nap…
I assume the author believes the opposite it also true? Or don’t horny men have needs that their girlfriends need to address more frequently.
Don’t be silly. The world exists to cater to women’s needs. Expected anything in return is sexist.
/Feminist Doctrine.
This is what greets me as I rise for breakfast? “Grumbling and crying and squatting to pee in fright, the Pussy Horde took some time to calm, even with Hillary chanting Sarah MacLaughlin lyrics to soothe them.” The true voice for our new time.
Not the voice we want, but the voice we deserve…
Lies! We did nothing to deserve that!
Grumbling and crying and squatting to pee in fright, the Pussy Horde took some time to calm, even with Hillary chanting Sarah MacLaughlin lyrics to soothe them.
Perfect.
Agreed. It is absolutely masterful.
I laughed audibly in the office.
It’s always hard to explain these things.
“Someone so thoroughly and amazingly qualified as me and a… person of intersectionality like Harris. We could be unstoppable. We could wash the Republican taint from America forever!’
I find this… credible.
My God, the backstabbing would be epic. Unfortunately, there is no way in hell Herself would run with a woman.
I giggled at my desk.
OT: So much for Minnesoda nice.
https://freebeacon.com/politics/two-gop-candidates-assaulted-minnesota/
It was very nice. The victims were actually running for office as a GOP party member. Killing would be justifiable.
OT: Looks like Pelosi knows something about Trump and the wall, and it is a “manhood problem according to her…
Ms Crumbs is also claiming there will bea blue tsunami.
Maybe, since they only ever hit coastal areas…
I saw that this morning. My response: “That’s what they’ve got? They should run with it.”
Wait. What was that story? It sort of points out that Nancy isn’t being bipartisan. Someone needs to be fired over that story. A qualified journalist should have written it with the main point being that Nancy is holding the line against Trump’s new Reich.
If you have to write about negotiations, you should have said something like “Trump refuses to negotiate with Pelosi. Purposely poisons negotiations by insisting on border wall.” Then maybe write about how real presidents like George H. W. Bush realized that bipartisan compromise was good for the country and agreed to raise taxes to save the country.
Funny how “bipartisanship” always means the democrats get their way, huh?
+1 Obama compromise
Compromise: I get what I want now, and promise to give you something in the next 5-10 years. This promise will not be binding in any way, and if you bring it up, you’re just arguing in bad faith because the situation has changed since I made that promise. Now here’s the new thing I want, I promise to give you what you want in another 5-10 years.
OT: Fake news. The raccoon wasn’t rabid, he was just trying to punch Nazis.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/rabid-raccoon-attacks-3-people-in-washington-dc-neighborhood/ar-BBOveL7?ocid=spartanntp
Aww! Big Baby Pudding Snatcher!
Sugarfree prose makes me think of a poem I got from a friend years back:
Uggly, Buggly, Beiruta, and Tank
A beanpole, a scumbag, a dog, and a skank
Were constantly bitching of vaginal itching
And because of it their fingernails stank.
Seems they’d been to this orgy
With Gambo Rotunda
Who buttered their buns
With the cheese that’s fromunda
Which started the culture
That lead to the plunder
And rendered their pussies so rank.
My hometown newspaper calls plainly for the fleecing of outsiders to pay for a new police station. There is a referendum this fall on whether to pass a sales tax to pay for a new jail/police station. The editorial says the facility is going to get built even if voters vote down the sales tax. Then it would be a property tax to pay for it.
I think it is a good thing that tourist season is over. I’m sure visitors wouldn’t be too impressed to read that.
Or, or. here’s a novel thought, you spend less on something else in the town budget.
The scandal for the last several years in my hometown is that the school board paid a lot for some land to build a new school on before asking voters if they were up for building a new school.
Since then there have been several referendums and they keep failing (and by more and more). One of the problems is that my hometown is getting older and older as people like me move back there to retire. So more people who don’t have any kids in the system and don’t want to pay more taxes.
The school board is getting desperate because the land is sitting there and the gossip (from my parents) is that they paid far over actual value in some sweetheart deal and if they have to dump it, people will ask tough questions.
All this is to say that my home town isn’t too good with the financing shit. We also are used to fleecing tourists, I was just amazed that they came out so bluntly in the paper. Next thing you know they will admit that they have a municipal liquor store solely to fleece visitors who forgot to bring their own booze.
Mount Abraham has tried that in Bristol too. I think last year was attempt number 3 on “fine, no new school. 8
Instead, let’s dump 100mm into repairs* please???”
*Repairs are now cool stuff like not needed ac for the whole building, another addition, and putting sunlight’s in.
I got into it with the project on Facebook before I deleted it. “the roof is leaking and we need to fix it” ≠ let’s put ac and sunlights in.
Then they have the balls to tell me they’re being as frugal as possible. Every vote gets worse for them though. Maybe it’s working
Our local school is being purposefully under-maintained to try and force the public to pay for a new school. Referendum number 3 is up this fall.
So, faster than the population has grown. Imagine that.
VT is trying to figure out how to only raise property tax for a certain type of person here.
It’s going to go great. I’m sure there’s nowhere else people who have a desire for a second home could look.
If it’s only for second homes, that’s easy. New York has been doing that for ages. Officially it’s a rebate on property taxes for primary residences.
Yeah that’s how it’ll go. They promised to not raise property taxes.
Everyone I know has a house that has somehow increased in value though, and it’s incredible because the low(ER) rate with these new values are almost the exact same as the proposed rate that the governor vetoed!
In the People’s Republic of Maryland they call it a “Homestead Tax Credit”, and it caps the amount your property tax assessment can increase from year-to-year on your primary residence. That way, you can still get gouged, but the hikes really hurt people who own rental properties, and, by extension, the rental market.
There are 412 lakes within 25 miles of my hometown. It is a huge tourist trap. We always bump property taxes for people with lakeshore (aka tourists with cabins). There is usually some back door loophole for locals who live on a lake to get some rebate. In the end only the tourists get increased taxes.
My FIL had a place up on Vermilion. It was fucking criminal how much disparity there was between locals and the hated out of towners.
Yup. Never a good thing when you own some taxable item that can’t be moved that exists in a place where you can’t vote the fuckers out.
But I thought the land produced magical rents that the tax was simply siphoning off for the greater good!
$6.7 million facility
Why is it $6.7 million? Is it made out of Panda?
Union Labor at prevaling wage with requisite woman and minority owned businesses among the contractors and…
Don’t forget LEED certification!
Not exactly the same, but similar in spirit, Ann Arbor (MI) gets a bee in their bonnet about every 24 months that it’s high time they implement a city income tax so that they can start reaching into the pockets of people who don’t live there to pay for their stuff.
HAH HAH HAH!
A real Native American tells Lie-a-watha to apologize
I thought they laugh like this .
I feel bad for how much I enjoyed that.
I like the rimshot on the tom-toms
Among FFV types (First Families of Virginia, the people who view themselves as the social elite in this ever-worsening state), having lineage from Pocahontas is a big deal.
I hate the pretentious Junior league crowd. My great great great greatyest grand daddy signed the Declaration. That doesnt make me who I am.
We don’t do titles of nobility in this country.
Unless you’ve accomplished something yourself, it doesn’t mean squat.
My great-great-great-great grandfather deserted the Continental Army at Valley Forge in 1777, but had the good sense to go back in 1781 to get right with the army before the war ended, so he ended up getting a pension.
Anyway…..I do enjoy genealogy because it dovetails with my general love of history, but that’s all. It doesn’t actually mean anything, just fun to learn who they were and what their lives might have been like.
My great-great-great-great grandfather was a…well I don’t really know. He was dead before I got here and didn’t even speak english, loser.
OT: Nothing unusual or unexpected about this.
https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2018/10/16/facebook-deletes-disabled-veterans-page-without-warning-after-taking-300000-for-ads/
Linking only because the guy’s wife: Would.
Oh hell no. Woman that dresses like that for a publicity shot with her kids and husband is firmly on the wrong side of the crazy/hot asymptote. There is no amount of hot worth that much trouble.
You know what? I didn’t see that. First time I opened the page I just glanced and thought she had on matching shorts/shirt outfit. After reading your comment I went back and looked again. Nope. Dress open and putting her legs on display, shoulderless top. Yeah, we have a vanity problem there.
You are correct but I would find saying no difficult.
Nah, you overstate the case.
Yeah, I didn’t think it’s fair to automatically go to “crazy”. “Vain” possibly, but fuck, she’s a smokeshow. And I assume her eyes work just as well as ours.
Definitely vain, but then almost all gorgeous young women are.
I didn’t go straight to crazy. I specified that the outfit needs to be in the context of a publicity shot with her kids and husband. Specifically, the choice to wear that particular outfit in that particular setting. A publicity shot (or honestly a “nice” family photo) is a carefully constructed visual message, and they are clearly try to show themselves as a clean, reliable, sympathetic family unit. And in that context, she chose a very particular type of sex appeal to present to someone other than her husband.
See, I see it has her being passive aggressive, “Well yeah, at least I still have LEGS!” probably spurred on about some minor family minutiae. /writer
“And in that context, she chose a very particular type of sex appeal to present to someone other than her husband.”
Well DUH. Her husband is a *cripple*. Obvi she’s on the lookout for a monkeybranching opportunity.
This.
*Throws penalty flag on leap*
What they’re doing is pretty repulsive. So, even sans the really hot wife (and, I agree, would), it’s worth noting. Not only should they be sued, some enterprising reporter of filmmaker should follow Zuckerberg around and ask for his comments on the story.
“some enterprising reporter of filmmaker should follow Zuckerberg around and ask for his comments on the story”
Would only happen if the focus of the story was “how does it feel to be so awesome for banning all that alt-Right, child-murdering Nazi soldier?”
OT: INTERSECTIONALITY OVERLOAD!
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/j53kp8/trans-disabled-teen-model-aaron-philip-fashion
www dot vice
*stops reading.*
More fun from Vice.
https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/594mak/how-to-eat-out-a-non-op-trans-woman-oral-sex
…uhhh…errr…if you haven’t had the surgery, you have a penis. So this is an article on how to suck a dick.
*dies from the stupidity*
So now even “eat out” gets a new definition? These people are completely unhinged.
And even though you have a dick in your mouth, you can still call yourself a lesbian.
Husband: I can’t believe you cheated on me!
Wife: But it was with a woman. It was a lesbian encounter!
Husband: I guess it is sorta hot. If I can join in next time, I guess I wouldn’t be mad about it.
Wife: Um…yeah…about that.
My new identity: I’m a masculine-presenting, non-op transgender lesbian.
I am not even going to try unraveling that.
It’s easy Suthen.
He’s a straight male.
Like a double-negative.
Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me…..no, apparently not, that’s exactly what the article is.
Spoiler: There is no wrong way to suck a dick. No teeth.
The future is really dumb
This kind of shit makes it hard to be a satirist.
That’s it. I’m packin’ it up and callin’ it a day. I’m movin’ to a compound in the mountains.
Whoa! When I opened that link, I thought it was going to be about a model who was in a wheel chair getting treatment and transitioning to crutches. So much for that heart warming story I wanted to read.
Really, all she needs to do is convert to islam and only pose in a burka to set an unbreakable victimhood score in the fashion industry.
It’s a he.
Dude with tits then.
I want a new show. It would be a reverse Undercover Boss.
You’d bring in the reverse trans wheelchair kid and pretend they were hired/transferred into an office. Then see exactly what would need to be done to fire them. Could they piss in the middle of a meeting and have anyone complain to HR? What would the look on the HR flack’s face be when they finally did make a formal complaint?
I’m guessing it would take committing a felony; and even then he/she/it/xir would probably just be put on paid leave pending the outcome of the trial.
I think firing that kid would be even more difficult than firing a rapey cop or a corrupt bureaucrat.
You’d actually be surprised.
Petty stuff, properly documented can be used to dispose of an unwanted, contractually protected employee. Counsel the employee when an incident occurs, but keep a written record for each one, and soon enough, bam, you have sufficient volume that any such suit gets summarily dismissed.
The real difficulty is getting line supervisors to keep records of the behavior.
“Failure to meet Performance Improvement Plan (PIP)”
Exactly.
You just have to follow documented procedures and you’re golden.
Works for divorce settlements too.
ZING!
::takes big breath, starts reading::
First read “Pussy Hat” as “Pussy Fat”
NO FB!
“There’s only dozens of shows on TV that forward political ideas that I agree with. Please god, give me one more.”
Roseanne overdosed on opioids and left ‘The Conners’ behind. It’s better this way
Let’s see, funny shows that touch on politics:
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
South Park
Parks and Recreation
American Dad
Am I missing any?
All in the Family
Anything newer than that, I don’t know about.
Not comedy per se, but Laugh In (News of the Future) and the Smothers Brothers (Pat Paulsen for President) could be outrageously funny and explicitly political at the same time.
I know I watched the Smothers Brothers at least a few times when I was little, but all I remember was the Yo-Yo Man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qn69wP-jD2Y
Pat Paulsen for President
Paulsen campaigned as a joke in 68, then actually ran in both 72 and 92 (also as a joke) and got thousands of primary votes.
I remember my Mom telling me he got lots of write-ins in 68, but can’t find any official recognition of it.
Yes, Minister
I can think of some that were good when they weren’t being political, but other than All In The Family, like Kinnath said, I can’t think of any. And I’m on the fence with American Dad.
MASH during the Trapper John years.
Simpsons in the first 8 or 9 seasons.
Yeah, MASH was foremost in my mind. The early years of both those show were very funny. If we’re listing partial show series runs, I’d put early Family Guy in there as well, before Seth got too full of himself.
Couple more that I was missing:
King of the Hill
Veep
The first season of American Dad was… not good. Seth MacFarlane was still writing it, and just made it a clone of Family Guy. After he left the writing (he’s now only a voice actor), the leftist politics is always right went away, and the new writers did some good stuff making fun of both sides. The Lincoln Lover episode and Camp Refoogee would be two episodes I would recommend that mocks both sides.
Huh….see, I only watched American Dad in the first season, thought it was dogshit, and never watched it again. So it actually got good somewhere along the way?
In my opinion it did. The second season started showing some of the improvements (they had an environmental activist who identified as a tree being carried around in a pot in one episode), they found their own stories that have continued for the Christmas episodes (which go to insane lengths), and are willing to mock both sides. Look up the two episodes I mentioned, and try them. If you don’t like one, you’re out 20-some minutes. If you do, you can go back to season 2 and watch, or just catch them when you can.
King of the Hill, obliquely
The Goode Family
Last Man Standing
Am I missing any?
30 Rock
I’m sure this new show will last just as long as if they did a Seinfeld reboot without Jerry.
They did that?
Kind of, but it was with almost all new actors, and focused on the guy who was playing the new version of George Costanza, and it was called Curb Your Enthusiasm.
And it lasted longer than Seinfeld.
It did? I never watched it, didn’t realize it was on that long.
I was never that enthusiastic to begin with.
I know you’re being punny, but damn that comment is so UCS.
I think they just dropped some new episodes in the past year or so. Shorter seasons, so I think Seinfeld had more episodes in total. I tried watching it, and it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the genius that some episodes of Seinfeld were.
That show sucks.
Curb has its moments.
I thought it had some pretty funny moments:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S5-Vx4hlr4
It’s lingered for far too long, but the first several seasons had a bunch of truly hysterical moments.
But if you don’t go to Season 8, you don’t get Palestinian Chicken.
True. The later seasons had their moments too, just not as many of them.
VDH on the rapid destruction of California.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-7PWnJDDaY
He has been harping on that for years. Get out already Vic.
I have been assured that this never happens – FAKE NEWS!!!!
tl;dr but Im guessing all the votes were for (R) candidates, amirite ?
I wonder, oh I wonder, which party these lovely ladies were working to benefit?
“Tarrant County Democratic Party Chairwoman Deborah Peoples said she had met Leticia Sanchez in the past.
She said she was not aware of specific details of the case though, and she questioned the timing of the indictments, less than four weeks ahead of the November midterm elections.”
Of course she did.
“Dammit, we’re down a ballot-stuffer!”
she questioned the timing of the indictments, less than four weeks ahead of the November midterm elections
Is she seriously saying we should put off shutting down voter fraud ops until after the election? Because that’s what it looks like to me.
I’m off, but I’ll leave you with this little bit of weirdness. Yep, it’s a John Lennon/Misfits mashup.
You may say I’m a demon…
That……works surprisingly well!
RIP Rick Stein.
And his choose-your-own-adventure obituary .
I bet the real Rick Stein was a pretty fun guy to talk to. RIP “Mr. DeRoad”
Juan Morefore DeRoad is a name Im gonna have to remember.
I was thinking the exact same thing.
Dish guy can’t come til sunday. No TV til then, hopefully my internet doesn’t go do too.
I only seem to watch TV when I visit my mother.
Try going without for a while. You may find it’s not as big a deal as you think right now.
Call them right now and cancel. Get a Firestick, Roku, and whatever else for less money and watch just as much stuff.
You don’t need that. Go without watching anything.
As long as “anything” doesn’t include internet porn.
So…I was doing some, uh, research for a friend. I discovered there’s a genre of porn where there is no intercourse, just the dude rubbing his junk on the clothed girl (undies, jeans, yoga pants) until he spends himself on her. Then he uses his gravy maker to rub it around on her clothes. Da fuck?
That’s not even close to the strangest genre out there.
I agree, but it’s gotta be one of the most pointless.
But it’s also the one you keep coming back to?
MikeS’ laundry bill is going up.
Are these strictly amateur?
I didn’t do that deep of a dive. From a cursory peek, it appeared to be pros. Or maybe semi-pros…?
Strange. I find it interesting that there could be a large enough market of viewers to sustain that and not just amateurs doing it to get themselves off.
Oh well. The whole “I fucked my stepsister” thing is even more puzzling to me.
That’s what I thought, too. I mean, the dudes schlong was the only skin I saw. The few I saw was the woman bending over, or laying in bed and he was behind her. And she was clothed, waist down. It looked like a few she might have had her shirt off, but again, the view was from behind her.
I think, maybe ironically, it was actually the weirdest porn I’ve ever seen. Like I said, it just seemed so pointless.
The stepsister thing is weird, too. But I think that appeals to a “forbidden fruit” kind of impulse. Kinda like, screwing your buddy’s wife is passe, so let’s dial it up a bit. So, while I’m not in to it, I guess I get it.
The whole “I fucked my stepsister” thing is even more puzzling to me.
That’s easy. With so many divorces and blended families, there are quite a few men who ended up with living with a girl who was around all the time and that they weren’t technically related to when they first began to fill their spank bank. The fantasy has just carried over (or is still active for the younger ones.)
The incest taboo only works if you spend significant time together before the age of six.
I need to watch the local channels for work, and I can’t get them all over-the-air.
And also, slow internet, streaming services are not to be relied on here.
Ah. Yeah, ^this is an issue
Have you looked at getting a better over the air antenna? There’s some that pull stations in for many, many miles. Some up to 75 miles IIRC
It’s not distance, it is terrain. Always had this problem even back in the non digital days, so I’m not going to waste money on something unlikely to fix the problem.
So what you’re saying is, you need a new house, or a different job.
Or a dozer, an excavator, some dynamite, and a couple dump trucks
Hot girlfriend with a functional television?
Well, yeah, Tres. Who doesn’t?
One station in particular that I need to watch that I can’t get over the air comes from the same damn building as one of the ones I can get. Talked to the station engineer and he’s as stumped on that as I am.
What do you do that requires this?
…and why aren’t they paying for it if it’s a requirement of your employment?
It’s not a requirement of my job, but it is required to do my job well. I don’t work for the station, and that’s all I’ll say on the matter
Where are the transmitters located?
If you cant get the USC score, just ask here.
I’m as far on the free speech side absolutists side as I can be, and this PEN America lawsuit against Trump has got to be some of the weakest complaints I’ve seen. Would one of our resident lawyers be willing to do a quick glance and let me know how wrong I am?
How can you use the 1st amendment as grounds to attack the 1st amendment rights?
Also, Congress shall make no law. Trump ain’t Congress, dipshits.
The complaints include things like threatening to use the DoJ to investigate Google (bad idea, but not a violation of the 1st that I can see), using an executive order to increase postage rates to hurt Amazon because of what the Washington Post writes (closest to a real complaint here, but it’s not like banning a movie from being released), DoJ attempting to block the ATT/Time Warner merger (I… don’t even see how this is related to the 1st). I just want to be educated in case I’m missing some Sooper-Jenius level lawfare that makes perfect sense to a lawyer.
Where are the real lawyers?
I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed, but the left have been completely convinced for a while now that you can sue anyone for anything. In the USA, that’s almost true, but not quite yet. Most of the time, the outcome is going to be your case dismissed and then you get called horseface.
That’s because people remember only the news blurb version of lawsuits so Stella’s coffee giving her third degree burns becomes “woman sues McDonalds over coffee being hot” and they miss out on some of the liability-related details.
At least the Horseface case had a reason that I could follow for the suit.
This one seems like something a High School student would turn in for an English or Government class.
Really, it’s part and parcel with their worldview that the government has dominion over everything. There are no constraints or limits to the scope of government authority, they’re just the national Mommy, Daddy, and Teacher all rolled into one.
I sure dont hear the USPS complaining about a plot to raise rates.
MUH KROUDED THEUHTER
using Trump’s repeated tweets and threats as the key evidence in making these claims.
Tweets carry the force of law?
followed through on his threats by signing an Executive Order directing the Postal Service to review its rates.
And? A federal agency can’t set it’s prices for service?
From the beginning of his campaign for President, Defendant Trump has repeatedly attacked the Post for its coverage of him
AND? He can shoot his mouth off as much as he wants. It is not an illegal action taken against 1A.
Where the fuck were these assholes during the previous admin.? //rhetorical
He can shoot his mouth off as much as he wants.
You might even say he has a Constitutionally protected right to do so.
Not a lawyer, but I think it’s an extension of the new judicial craze for litigation based on impure motives. If you recall, the courts made the argument that some of Trump’s immigration restrictions were discriminatory based, not on anything inherent to the restrictions, but Trump’s commentary revealing a discriminatory intent. I think the logic extends here. None of the moves (raising postal rates, blocking the AT&T/Time Warner merger, etc.) are violations of the First Amendment in themselves. But, since Trump is using them a retaliation for their speech, they become a case of the government punishing speech.
Personally, I think any judge who makes a verdict based on intentions or motives should be removed from the bench unless they can tell me how many coins I’ve got in my right pants pocket.
Hah! That’s a trick question, you’re not wearing pants!
Trump’s commentary revealing a discriminatory intent
Which should be irrelevant even if true because what matters is what the law says. It still irks me that Trump let that happen bc it is contributing to the destruction of the concept of law in the country. “He made his law, now let him enforce it.” would have been a legitimate response to such judicial activism.
Submitted w/o comment .
*sensibly chuckles*
pppfffft! I only had to read the URL to lose it. Excellent.
“Popular Mechanics”
*chuckles*
They’re still good for some comedy writing. Almost as much as Scientific American now that they’ve gone full-blown AGW
I’m sure they had fun with the last line;
“…but plenty of other oddities are likely locked deep within Uranus. “
Norm still rules – Kathy Griffin got her shorts in a wad over an AP story calling
HorsefaceStormy Daniels merely a “porn actress”goddammit
What is required to direct a porn film?
“OK, switch to doggy.”
“Hold on, can’t get a good angle on the dick going in. Shift to the left. OK, good.”
“Cumshot time.”
Seems pretty easy to me.
However, I’m assured there’s an Iron Law dealing with this.
Still, I’m willing to do the research to find out.
You forgot the fact that you’re dealing with all the problems of regular film directing plus the constraints of anatomical response.
That’s what the fluffers are for.
I’m still saying a lot of people underestimate the amount of work that goes on behind the camera.
dealing with all the problems of regular film directing
Like getting an emotional and believable response out of your actors?
Have you ever watched an adult film?
goddammit[Redacted]
ACTRESS AND DIRECTOR
So she’s dumb, self obsessed AND pompous! /I Have a Film Degree
…and a horseface. Don’t forget the horseface.
Sarah Jessica Parker should add her name to that lawsuit against Trump – he stole her nickname!
What about me?
/John Kerry
That would be Lurch. Or alternately, Snow Miser.
I can just see the catfight now.
SJP: Hey, you bitch, I’m horseface!, It’s mine! You’re nothing but a whore! *hair pulling, clothing being rended*
Your formatting is bad and you’re a bad person.
I feel shame
BLESS YOU, EDIT FAERIE!
I don’t see an Edit Faerie…Damn it.
/applause
$130,000 for a mushroom fuck. So they also forgot “prostitute.”
Or was is it more “blackmailer?”
There is a difference?
In this case, not really.
What I don’t get is that it’s totally OK for her to talk about his weird mushroom dick, but everyone gets up in arms when he calls her horseface.
Go team!
I’m currently listening to the harpies on The View blame Trump for taking advantage of Kanye’s bipolar disorder, and also strongly imply that Kanye’s opinions are caused by mental illness, because they can only be the product of mental incompetence. Also, if you have bipolar disorder, you’re incapable of holding dissenting opinions.
I don’t even know what to do with that.
In five minutes, I expect them to express the deepest indignation at anyone suggesting that PMS might influence mood.
Christ, what sick, sadistic fucker is making you do that?
Why, just why, would you do that to yourself?
I don’t even know what to do with that.
Change the channel is my first suggestion.
Perforating your eardrums should be a close second.
The belgian air force finally shot something !
Negligent Discharge of a 20mm cannon…. Not a good day for that mechanic.
I know a guy at our AF base, where they have Warthogs with 30 mm cannons. I just sent that to him.
4 more and he’s an ace!
It did mention that two adjacent F16s were damaged. Do those count as kills?
I think his career just got shot down, so one more?
FloridaMen™ having a tough time keeping their clothes on.
*bonus points to grandma for using the Martha Raye defense
“She popped out her teeth. Grandma no teeth!” she shouted.”
Yep, it’s Florida.
I’m beginning to think this Sinema lass isn’t very bright, and doesn’t much like the state she lives in.
Look out! There’s a blue wave a’comin’!
I like this ad
https://twitter.com/Charlemagne0814/status/1052349716439142400
She is the queen of own goals.
Would.
Don’t know if this has been posted: The Supreme Court will hear a case that could decide whether Facebook, Twitter can censor users.
Somebody sure censored your link.
SF’d. DAMMIT!
link.
I believe awhile back I said that I predicted with a 60% confidence level that the Repubs would pick up a few seats in the Senate, but not enough to be filibuster-proof, and the Dems would pick up a few seats in the House, but not enough to take control.
I’m sticking with my Senate prediction, but for some reason I’m going a little wobbly on the House prediction. I think I would say today there is a 60% chance the Dems take the House. Don’t know why my thinking changed, but there it is.
If they, I think we will see a genuine crisis in this country around the legitimacy of our government and our ruling class, because the Dems will be compelled to try to impeach Trump and to launch innumerable whackjob investigations into his administration, his past, his friends and associates, etc. in a completely unprecedented descent into the politics of personal destruction. That’s clearly where their heads are now; what they lack is an institutional platform (other than Mueller, who has turned out to be just as crappy a special prosecutor as he was a regular prosecutor).
“crisis in this country around the legitimacy of our government and our ruling class”
So what you’re saying is that the Dems taking the House would be the best thing to happen to this country in centuries?
I’m thinking it would be painful in the short run, with the likelihood of improvement post-crisis completely unknown.
I think the Dems lose several seats in the Senate and the House is essentially unchanged. The Dems really hurt themselves over the last few weeks.
The Dems really hurt themselves over the last few weeks.
Its interesting/odd. I think so, too, but for some reason my instinct is that they will do better than I thought a month or so ago. Like I said, I can’t explain it.
We’ll see – I think we’ll see the last of the Blue State Dem Senators. They are going to get slaughtered.
There will be rampant voter fraud this time around. It’s going to be super ugly. They’ll still lose seats, IMO.
“There will be rampant voter fraud this time around”
Agreed. They already probably buy themselves a percentage point or so just with their ordinary amount of fraud. Now that they’ve fully embraced the radical “by any means necessary” doctrine, coupled with their religious zealotry, it’s gonna get cranked up to 11.
Their base is so insane, so unhinged and so enraged, that we’re one step below domestic terrorism. It’s frightening that if they lost this time around, I can legitimately see their more radical elements trying to blow up polling stations Taliban-style in 2020.
I associate material voter fraud with Deep Blue precincts. I don’t think it would be very likely to affect House races. I could see it making a difference in very close Senate races, though.
I’m going with this prediction too – but I don’t feel strongly enough to bet any money on it.
It will boil down to: for the left, how many crazies can get to the polls, along with those who have a strong enough distaste of Trump vs. the moderates (angered by Kavanaugh) and the Trump base.
Agree, GOP will pick up two or three net seats in Senate. House will go Dem by several seats. Polls are showing a likely net loss of seven GOP seats in Penna. and New Jersey alone (due to illegal redistricting and suburban seats where Clinton won but GOP congressman slipped by.) Most of the Dem ads are tying the GOP congressman to Trump and to “ending health insurance for pre-existing conditions.” Can anyone find one Dem seat around the country that is likely to flip to the GOP?
You know back when I was a kid, I thought the future was going to be all spaceships, Jennifer Agutter robots, and the eradication of disease and strife.
Instead… we have SugarFree.
It’s the future we deserve.
Check back at 8pm EST for more wacky fun!
Purge first!