If this offends you, seek help immediately…or submit your resume to ESPN.

Well it didn’t rain yesterday. But I was stuck inside all day with a daughter who had an ear infection and fever. So I didn’t even get to enjoy it. C’est la vie!  Which is what CC Sabathia is saying to himself after he threw at a guy in the 6th inning yesterday and was ejected…two innings shy of a $500,000 bonus. Its also what Ohio State is saying after one of the most retarded twitter mobs ever went after them. And what the Dodgers and Cardinals are saying after sitting idle yesterday while the Rockies won. That was effectively the only meaningful baseball game played yesterday, and with three left to play, the Dodgers travel to San Francisco who would love to rain on their parade, St Louis travels to Chicago (NL) who has a lot to play for and Colorado awaits Washington at home in a series that doesn’t matter to them.  Could be interesting.

Elsewhere, the Los Angeles Rams beat the Vikings, who are struggling to maintain defensive focus.  Miami drilled UNC in football. And the Ryder Cup is underway with the United States taking a 3-1 lead after the first session.  Tiger and Patrick Reed dropped the only point and will sit in the alternate shot pairings that start ups in a little bit.

He probably did actually say this

If today is your birthday, Happy Birthday from all the Glibglobs. And you share it with: Confucius, wife and advisor to emperors Livia, gift from God Himself Arthur Guinness, TV pioneer Ed Sullivan, boxer Max Schmeling, actress and sexpot Bridget Bardot, bassist Nick St Nicholas, actress (who was naked a lot) Sylvia Kristen, musician Ned Lukhardt, idiot Janeane Garofalo, “musician” Moon Unit Zappa, actress Naomi Watts, and Texan Hillary Duff.

Its also the day on which Cabrillo discovered California, Maryland legalized divorce in 1701, Napoleon graduated 42nd out of 51 cadets from the Paris military academy (which is almost as bad as John McCain!), Lou Gerigh made an error after 885 straight games without one, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was signed, Martin And Lewis make their film debut, Ted Williams hit his final homer (#521), Star Trek: The Next Generation debuted, and SpaceX launched the first ever private spacecraft into orbit.

OK, onto…the links!

You’d have to be living under a rock if you didn’t know what the big story of the day was.  Brett Kavanaugh gave an enthusiastic defense of himself as Team Blue attempted to turn his confirmation hearing into a circus. Not to downplay Christine Blasey Ford’s “truth” as it was described by noted groper Corey Booker, but he absolutely crucified the character assassination attempts from the left that included forcing him to explain his high school yearbook entry, to account for diary entries from when he was 16 and attacking him for drinking occasionally to excess when he was a college student.

“That’s where our stock was yesterday.”

The SEC has sued Elon Musk for fraud. They’re claiming he has misled investors and went so far as to peg the “buyout” price at $420 a share because of its significance to pot culture.  The suit sounds half solid and half retarded.  But my question is this: if he’s committed fraud, why aren’t they criminally charging him?  Methinks this is more about stealing Tesla and handing it over to an actual businessman who knows how to run production than it is about prosecuting genuine fraud.

“Now its down here.”

Here’s a story about two of the dumbest people in the world. Just in case you were interested in #metoo infighting.  Me-ow!

That’s some good flying there, Lou! At least it didn’t happen in New York so we’d hear reports of heroism on endless loop for weeks on end.  Also, that might make a cool reef in a few years.

Gee thanks, Chicago. You guys have almost killed enough of each other to start drifting back toward the mean.

Just as I predicted, President Trump has delayed a meeting with Rod Rosenstein because of the Kavanaugh confirmation hearing.It will be held someday next week. Enjoy the rampant speculation and plenty of scoops from unnamed sources in the meantime.

Come on, Houston. Stop being busybodies and trying to tell people how they can spend their own money. WinStar can’t have that much pull here, can they?

Enjoy today’s song, children of my generation. Well, everybody else should too.

Now go out there and have a good day and a great weekend.  Beat Penn State!