Tuesday Afternoon Links

Hey guys, how’s your day going. Mine went to “Microsoft doesn’t support native data integrations for a very key feature of one of its flagship products” hell just after the swag post. So… it looks like I’m pulling an all-nighter to write something that should already exist. Hoofuckin’-ray. I mean, this is literally why they pay me good money, but goddam I’m ready to not make a living in the “our shit works 90% the way it should and 10% in the most fucked up manner possible” space.

Also, its a pretty slow links day.

Somehow, in the action movies, it never quite ends like this when you drive a car out onto the runway.

Los Angeles, having solved all of their other problems and being a perfect city, has turned their attention to a ban on fur products. Hey, we haven’t had a good cop beatdown in years in LA, so… progress?

Is it really sexist that Apple made an iPhone too big for Trump’s hands?

Good news, comrades, now we will combine “living in your car” with “autonomous vehicles” to produce the “self-driving home”. I feel like medium-famous bands have been doing this for 50 years.

 

I can’t help it, I’m angry again.

Comments

404 responses to “Tuesday Afternoon Links”

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    And again again………

  2. Private Chipperbot

    Should have pulled the double reverse game and put the links back in the swag post and just leave the middle finger up.

    1. Chafed

      Spoken like a true shit lord. I salute you.

  3. Count Potato

    “Police said a woman drove a black Honda Civic past a guard post on Industrial Avenue at around 9:30 a.m., and then drove across two active runways, authorities said.

    The woman then got out of the car and ran into a wooded area.

    Port Authority Police tracked her down and arrested her at a home near the airport.

    CBS2 has a crew on the scene and we’re waiting to hear more on why this happened, including how she got past security.”

    I’m guessing crystal meth and TSA incompetence.

      1. Pine_Tree

        We did a family vacation to the mountains north of Santa Fe this Spring.

        You know the little roadside memorials people build at the site of a fatality? Well, NM must be setting some kind of record for those things. NM driving has to be way more kill-y than average.

        1. Tundra

          Gallatin Valley. I couldn’t believe the number of crosses. Looked like a cemetery the whole way down.

        2. C. Anacreon

          No doubt Walter White had something to do with all those deaths.

        3. Don Escaped Texas

          It’s demographics: notice more Kikes and Panchos in the mix than Kevins and Wilburs NTTAWWI

          1. Don Escaped Texas

            clarification: that’s “Kiké” as in Enrique

            I haven’t noticed much matzah in NM

      2. Spudalicious

        Darwin wins again.

    1. Dr Mossy Lawn

      KTEB is not usually a TSA location unless they are doing prescreening for the presidential TFR in Palm Beach.

      TSA just does the commercial passenger screening, and writes the standards. They don’t handle general airport security directly, even at the air carrier airports.

      At KPHL the ramp door security at Atlantic Aviation is a standard private guard whose job is to make sure that you have paid the $20 security fee.

      Each airport is different but I have been buzzed through the gates and onto the ramp at locations with airline service. You just need to know the local procedures.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      I’m not entirely sold on the meth angle, but the rest of your theory holds water.

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    Sounds like She Really needed to get home fast

  5. Count Potato

    “Neighboring West Hollywood and San Francisco already have fur bans”

    Jesse hardest hit.

    1. grrizzly

      I blame Russophobia.

    2. jesse.in.mb

      Thank God for Silverlake.

      1. Chipwooder

        I didn’t even recognize you without the crepe picture

      2. Count Potato

        What happened to your avatar?

        1. SugarFree

          It was banned for sexual suggestiveness.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            It was crepey?

        2. Gustave Lytton

          Didn’t pay avatar fee.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Let the bears pay the bear tax! I pay the Homer tax!

      3. Not Adahn

        Let me take this opportunity to thank you for introducing me to the world of novelty shower curtains. Sir Catspian is currently gracing my guest bathroom.

  6. 6.5″ TOO BIG FOR FEMINISTS HAHAHAHAHA!

  7. Count Potato

    “6.5 inches is way too big for delicate feminine hands.”

    FAKE NEWS!

    1. Mad Scientist

      In my experience, delicate feminine hands have no problem handling things far in excess of 6.5 inches.

      1. Negroni Please

        so you’re a size queen eh?

        1. Certified Public Asshat

          Hardware doesn’t matter, it’s the software.

          1. trshmnstr

            So you’re saying that you’re a shower, not a grower?

      2. MikeS

        Hey, if you have delicate feminine hands, that’s ok. No shame, Mad.

        1. Mad Scientist

          All that you touch

          1. Don Escaped Texas

            +1

  8. STEVE SMITH SAD TO BE BANNED FROM LOS ANGELES CITY AS HIM VERY FURRY. NOW SAD, LOSING MANY OPPORTUNITIES FOR RAPE.

  9. The Other Kevin

    They really must be out of ideas for virtue signaling if they are going after fur now. I thought PETA all but destroyed that industry decades ago.

    1. Negroni Please

      i don’t get why fur is bad but leather is fine. Fucking weirdos

      1. Mad Scientist

        Don’t worry. They’ll move that goalpost as soon as it’s expedient.

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Ever try to throw paint onto a biker? Different results for that and your typical fur wearer. Huggy Bear excepted.

        1. Tulip

          That’s exactly why.

    2. The Other Kevin

      It’s all about how cute the animal was. Baby seals are a lot cuter than full grown cows.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Mink are not cute at all; weasels with good hair.

        1. MikeS

          And they are mean AF

          1. Pope Jimbo

            And they reek to high heaven.

          2. Tulip

            We had friends in Warroad, MN that had a mink ranch when I was a little kid. Based on that, mink are nasty critters that DESERVE to be turned into coats.

    3. MikeS

      “There’s a lot of fur sold in LA. It’s in over 500 designer collections, it’s on shoes, it’s on handbags,” he said. “So yes, it will have an impact on jobs, it will have an impact on tax revenues.”

      Retail fur sales globally accounted for $35.8 billion, and the fur industry employed more than 1 million people in 2014, the latest year that figures were available from the industry, Kaplan said.

      This kind of shocked me. Granted, that’s world-wide, but apparently they have a lot more industry destroying to do.

      1. I think Russia is 3/4 of that.

        1. Homple

          Gorky Park. Sables and gutta percha.

  10. Dr. Fronkensteen

    “self-driving home”.

    We’re the cars in minority report attached to the home before you got in and let it drive you?

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Last fall I talked with some guys who were getting ready to demo their first self driving motor home.

      That would be a great retirement option if it works out. Set the destination and then go into the back to watch scenery, nap or whatever for 10 hours.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        I’ve seen those, but they’re called a hearse.

        1. Homple

          I’m late but I applaud that.

  11. cyto

    Did we already talk about the Japanese billionaire contracting a ride around the moon with SpaceX?

    Here’s the video outlining his concept:

    https://dearmoon.earth/

    It is a pretty inspiring video. The guy is going to take a bunch of artists of various types with him to see the moon. We live in an amazing time. I remember watching the moon landing in preschool on a 13 inch black and white TV. And now a private citizen can go there for a public art project. Nice!

    Although I do have to admit… if I was taking some folks along for my joyride to the moon, a group of artists wouldn’t really be the first thing that came to mind. Maybe the Swedish bikini team….

    1. Raston Bot

      Goodnight, Moon.

      1. Negroni Please

        goodnight cow jumping over the moon

        1. Raston Bot

          That’s no moon.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        HUSH!

        1. cyto

          If you are still in little kid mode and you haven’t gotten “Goodnight Goon”, I highly recommend it.

          If you are past that point, mark it down for the grandkids.

    2. The Other Kevin

      … and when you emerge from the dark side of the moon, everyone’s hair is messed up and you’re smoking cigarettes.

      1. Mad Scientist

        There is no dark side in the moon, really. Matter of fact, it’s all dark

        1. MikeS

          Beat me to it.

          *shakes manly fist at Mad*

      2. C. Anacreon

        And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too, I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.

  12. Count Potato

    “One couple in Oxford England successfully converted a Mercedes Sprinter van into a micro-home that includes 153 square feet of living space, a complete kitchen, a sink, a fridge, a four-person dining area, and hidden storage spaces.”

    I’m still sad Ford stopped making regular vans.

    1. SugarFree

      So. They parked a van. And live in it.

      Revolutionary.

      1. Chipwooder

        Matt Foley would be a hip trailblazer today.

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          Was a river mentioned?

          1. MikeS

            I reside in a van, yonder, by the Thames!

        2. Bobarian LMD

          My wife watches those ‘tiny home’ shows and says “we could do that”.

          I think (to myself) that spending the rest of my life in a jail cell is no way to enjoy retirement.

          “No.., no we couldn’t”

          1. Negroni Please

            my wife floated that idea once. She thought we should spend all of our money on land and then put a shitty tiny house on it. I like the idea of owning land, but I’m 6’1″ and 235lbs. No tiny house for me thanks

          2. Certified Public Asshat

            Spend a weekend in one. After your first bowel movement she will turn around.

          3. OneOut

            My wife and I just bought a luxury 5th wheel rv.

            We parked it in an upscale rv park with a marina, boat slips, fishing piers, 2 swimming pools, party cabana and clubhouse facilities for $650 a month.

            My living room window is 20 feet from the bay.

            We have a king size bed, full size stainless fridge. Two full size leather recliners and a leather sofa that folds out to a queen size bed.

            It has two entertainment centers with flat screens and electric fireplaces below, two central ac units and central heat.

            Built in microwave/convection oven, 3 burner gas stove top and gas oven.

            That’s just on the inside.

            Outside tv under power canopy, outdoor shower and other amenities I forget right now.

            All together, space and rv cost $1250 a month plus electric.

            My neighbor lives in a 1.7 million dollar motor home.

            I fish, crab and shrimp in my back yard.

            Don’t knock it until you try it.

          4. $1250?! That’s double my mortgage.

          5. Yes but are you 20 ft from the bay, and can you shrimp and fish from your backyard?

          6. If you want what’s living in the hudson…

          7. Tulip

            My parents did the RV thing for a while and I knew construction guys that lived in nice RVs – pop outs and so on. They didn’t have to worry about apartment deposits, utilities, packing. Just moved on to the next job. They didn’t have kids, but they liked it.

            $1250 is double your mortgage? It’s half mine. Sobs.

          8. R C Dean

            Hmm. *carries the one* $1250 is, well, lets just say its less than half of mine (taxes and insurance included).

          9. SugarFree

            Every time I see a tiny homes show, I say “Do these idiots know that trailer parks are still a thing?”

            You could buy yourself a nice double-wide for what one of those hobbit holes costs.

          10. Chipwooder

            Yes, but then you’re trashy and low-rent rather than cutting edge and fashionable.

          11. trshmnstr

            Hey, I don’t do those damn hipster homes. Im good with the $20 lowes special!

          12. trshmnstr

            Ah, the Muppet dream . 40 sq feet and a rat the size of a mule.

          13. Private Chipperbot

            Or buy a fucking 5th wheel with 3x the space and less cost that can easily be towed. Some of those tiny homes need to be put on a flatbed to move.

          14. Tulip

            You could buy 2.

          15. Chipwooder

            What I don’t understand is why “I don’t need/want to live in a huge, oversized house” necessitates “I want to live in a midsized utility closet”

          16. Negroni Please

            no kidding. My house needs to be at least big enough to contain all my books, booze, and firearms.

          17. SugarFree

            I don’t want to live anywhere small enough to be tipped over by drunk teens on a dare.

          18. But Enough About Me

            You forgot the explosives. Sad!

          19. Dr. Fronkensteen

            Fun Fact: The original Levittown homes were 750 sq. ft.

          20. But Enough About Me

            Which was just about the size of the first house me and the spousal unit bought and lived in.

            We renovated. Didja know that, if you get rid of useless things like hallways, you can actually get quite a bit of useful space out of a place like that? Increased a bedroom size by a third and added 50 sq. ft. of space to the kitchen.

          21. R C Dean

            Interesting that you mention hallways. Looked at a really cool pre-war house in Dallas years ago that seemed a lot bigger than it should. The realtor pointed out that it had no hallways. When we bought our house in Dallas, it could have easily lost the only hallway and had a much better layout (as long as you didn’t mind the bedrooms opening directly onto the living area).

          22. But Enough About Me

            Yep. Every time we’ve been looking for a new home, I keep wondering why there are so many wastes of space, i.e., “hallways,” in the damn things. I almost immediately start envisioning ways to get rid of ’em.

          23. slumbrew

            My wife and I (and the dog) live in 750 sq. ft. now (plus basement space).

            Not too terrible. Larger would be nicer but that’s become cost prohibitive in the neighborhood and we’re currently unwilling to move away. We’ll figure something out.

          24. Mad Scientist

            You can’t one-up your friends with idiotic fads by just not buying a McMansion. Then people would think you couldn’t afford a McMansion. No, the trick is to show them how rich you are by building an absurdly small house, and pretending to be happy in it. Of course, then your asshole friends will build a tiny house made from reclaimed timber from the dilapidated mill that used to serve as both a food source and a community gathering place. Then you’ll be obliged to hunt up a distant relative with Indian heritage so you can live in a mud hut on the side of the river made in the same style as their mystical healing lodge, and so on and so forth.

          25. kinnath

            15 years ago, before the tiny house craze, a slim little lot in town became available when the old building was torn down.

            Somehow or another, an award-winning architect drafted plans for a neat little one bedroom house that would fit on the lot. The newspaper ran and story and published the plans. Someone bought the lot with the intention of building to those plans.

            The city crushed the dudes dreams by pointing out that codes had changed and the plans violated the minimum sq ft requirement for new construction. Oh, and the latest regulations for set backs and other restrictions meant that no one could ever build anything on the lot.

          26. Tundra

            Nope. I need about 2,000 sq. feet with a good porch.

            I would love to sell my place and build a one level on-slab with a big outbuilding.

            Tiny houses are retarded.

          27. Spudalicious

            I laugh at them from my McMansion.

          28. Mad Scientist

            I don’t really give a damn how big (or small) the house is, so long as I get a minimum of 2000 square feet of garage.

          29. My place is ~700 sqft. I’d like a slightly larger kitchen but could do without the second bedroom/office/storage room if I had to.

            What I find retarded are poeple who spend half a million dollar and can see their neighbors.

          30. Tundra

            Small houses are not Tiny Houses.

            I’m talking about the precious trendy ones.

          31. Chipwooder

            What I find retarded are poeple who spend half a million dollar and can see their neighbors.

            Oh, you know my sister then?

            Her house is three times the size of mine on a lot that’s half the size…at best. On the plus side, though, mowing the lawn is a snap.

          32. grrizzly

            What I find retarded are poeple who spend half a million dollar and can see their neighbors.

            Not even a doghouse is that cheap in my town.

          33. I’m talking about the precious trendy ones.

            I get that, and to each his own etc…I’d prefer a spartan one-room cabin on 100 acres than whatever the same money could buy in even a mid-sized city. Of course, I hate people so that should be considered.

          34. Not Adahn

            My place is ~700 sqft.

            This is another example of “the cobblers children go barefoot” isn’t it?

          35. R C Dean

            When I moved to Tucson, I stayed in a casita for the first couple of months. Pretty typical small casita – one bedroom, bathroom, etc. Probably around 700 square feet. Plenty for me, by myself. If Mrs. Dean ever wises up that she’s better off without me, I’ll probably wind up in something about that size, maybe a little bigger. My challenge would be getting the outdoor space for a Dean Beast. Gotta have a Beast.

          36. R C Dean

            Thinking back, it was probably more in the 500 sf range or so.

        3. Private Chipperbot

          True story. I work with the brother of the priest who was the inspiration for the Foley character. He never forgets to tell everyone about it and has photos to back it up…

      2. Mad Scientist

        It’s revolutionary because it’s used to be called a bus. Now it’s like, a van, man.

        Q: You know what hippies say when they run out of pot?
        A: This band sucks!

      3. Chipwooder

        Could be worse, could be Jackie’s Torino with no wheels.

    2. Certified Public Asshat

      So not this?

    3. Gustave Lytton

      *yawn* Winnebago churns them out by the truckload.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        Not naming names, but I’ve done a lot of HVAC design and sales into that industry and I loathe the RV business, pretty much every company: they
        /cut corners
        /buy cheap components
        /don’t install equipment properly
        /have ridiculous warranty expectations
        /go into bankruptcy the minute after I extend them credit on 90 days’ stock.

        I’m so mean to them that they hate me at this point, so expect your next RV to be brimming with Chinese copies of my work that will last exactly three days after the warranty expires…..enjoy.

        Oh, that smell is because they don’t understand/believe in latent load: all those wet shoes, shower mist, sweat, and farts must be condensed out of the air flow….that takes power and costs money they don’t want to shell out, so they’ll do without and the carpet can just go to shit in a few tepid months, but it’s not because they weren’t told better.

        rant over

        1. Private Chipperbot

          Cut corners? Pshaw.

          /looks at broken plastic drawer slider thing that breaks every trip.
          /notices pressboard used to hold screws instead of cheap piece of pine that broken plastic drawer slider thing attaches to.

  13. Drake

    A German official debunked some fake news – so Merkel is firing him.

    1. commodious spittoon

      The sources claim that Merkel decided the fate of the spy chief over the weekend, telling several members of her coalition government that Maassen would be replaced because he had interfered with domestic politics.

      Spook agencies meddling in domestic affairs? Perish the thought!

    2. Raston Bot

      is she attacking Germany’s democratic institutions?

    3. Mr Lizard

      From the comments:

      “Of course, we mustn’t criticize [He Who Must Not Be Named] – after all, he was also a starving refugee from a war torn country, and it is surely an unacceptable act of intolerance to imply that his somewhat intemperate belief system made him a worse person or could have had detrimental consequences for his host country. Remember, diversity is strength!”

  14. MikeS

    Kicked serious ass with the music today, Brett.

  15. Tundra

    The consequences of autonomous home living are far-reaching. It could radically reduce carbon footprints and living expenses by combining all transportation and housing needs in one space. The new need for overnight parking creates new economic and social opportunities. New types of pop-up communities will emerge with charging stations, retail stores, laundry facilities, restaurants, and social spaces. The freedom of a van-home lifestyle suggests new modes of living which include more leisure time and less time tethered to a job.

    RVs, RV parks and unemployment all currently exist.

    That whole article is just too precious for words.

    *barfs*

    1. The Other Kevin

      This is all just a fancy way of living in a van down by the river.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Will thee be Gov cheese? ’cause I want the Gov. Cheese

      2. But Enough About Me

        I actually know a local male model who, in fact, lives down by the river in a beat-up motorhome. He’s somewhat infamous in the Lower Rainland™.

    2. The Other Kevin

      Something tells me this won’t be seen as glamorous when it’s Amazon employees living in the warehouse parking lot.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        They’re owed a living wage. And by living wage I mean being able to live in a penthouse.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Is that one of the vans with the pop-top?

    3. Chipwooder

      In Los Angeles alone, it is estimated that 15,000 people are already living in their cars

      Yes, I know. They’re called bums.

    4. invisible finger

      There will be no need for sidewalks, therefore the problem of the homeless shitting on the sidewalk will be solved.

      1. SugarFree

        We must buy cars for the homeless to shit in.

        Once they have filled it with shit, we destroy it under Cash-For-Shitfilled-Clunkers. The economy is super-stimulated, no more homeless.

        And if–somehow–this plan fails, it was because of those meddlin’ libertarians.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Does this plan involve leaving the Bums in the shit-filled clunkers?

          1. Raston Bot

            i think that’s called soup kitchening.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            Thanks,

            Dirty Mike and the Boys.

      2. The Other Kevin

        Then it will be this.

    5. The new trailer parks, only this time catering to the right people.

      Any nonsense will be given a respectful hearing by the media if it’s portrayed as being “green”.

      1. Spudalicious

        Trailer parks are the best model for housing, they just haven’t been done right yet.

        1. Tres Cool

          It’s a demonstrable meteorological fact that trailer parks make tonados horny.

  16. Amashi

    I’ve had a bit of a bad week involving Microsoft myself. Was working on a bit of code a couple of weeks ago that worked correctly. Made a small change and lots of things started blowing up. Went back in version control to a known good state. Still blowing up. Tried version from the same commit compiled on a different machine. Not blowing up.

    Spent a day tracking it to a line of code written years ago that indeed did not properly account for the possibility of floating point inaccuracy (though for kind of subtle reasons.) OK, so that line of code was in fact not correct. But, not only has it worked on every platform it has been compiled for and on (quite a few versions of OS X, Linux, and Windows, with a number of compilers) it worked fine on the system I was building it on two weeks ago, and then suddenly stopped working- I’d hardly touched that machine in the interim. I can only guess that MS updated something about the compiler, etc. out from under me. I’m not entirely unpleased that it surfaced, because it wasn’t correct, but I’d like to have a stable toolchain that doesn’t change unless I do something to change it.

    1. invisible finger

      You don’t like the software-as-a-service model?

      1. Amashi

        It’s more that I don’t like the software-as-a-menace model, though Lord knows it mostly is.

  17. Michael

    PLEASE STAND BY FOR A VERY IMPORTANT HILLARY UPDATE:

    https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1042067961832513536

    1. Does it involve Hillary pulling a Budd Dwyer?

      1. Michael

        At this point it really wouldn’t surprise me at all. How can anyone act this obsessed and still be considered sane?

      2. Chipwooder

        Hey woman, nice shot

    2. SugarFree

      Hillary Clinton
      ‏6h6 hours ago
      We should be clear about this: The increasing radicalism and irresponsibility of the Republican Party, including decades of demeaning government, demonizing Democrats, and debasing norms, is what gave us Donald Trump.

      “It’s true. My massive corruption and lies had nothing to do with it at all.”

      1. Mad Scientist

        Look, all those lies and corruption were for the right reasons, like using power to crush her enemies, so they weren’t really corruption and lies at all.

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Demeaning government without actually doing anything about it.

      3. trshmnstr

        It’s like they can’t do anything except project.

      4. Rebel Scum

        decades of demeaning government

        ? Gov’t is inept and far outside its constitutional bounds. If only conservative Republicans acted on that which they often claim to believe with regard to the size and scope of government.

        demonizing Democrats

        ?!? Democrats and Republicans demonize each other. . .

        Did anyone see that article of hers in The Atlantic? She projected so hard I am surprised that it did not tear a hole in the space-time continuum.

      5. R C Dean

        Irresponsible? Sure.

        Increasing radicalism? I’m not seeing it.

    3. Creosote Achilles

      I don’t want to heal the body politic, gunt-waffle granny. I want to smash it. I want to smash the state into a bazillion little pieces then roll them over with asphalt paver, and when that’s done i want to set them on fire, and then, only then do I want to take a nice, long asparagus and hoppy-beer fueled piss all over whatever tiny ashes are left.

      1. Galt1138

        A-fucking-men!

    4. SugarFree

      Top internetting experts tell me that over seven tweets a day is considered excessive and will lead readers to consider you a pest in their feeds. Hillary has sent 14 today so far.

    5. Yusef drives a Kia

      She’s lost it……

      1. Drake

        she had it?

      2. Mad Scientist

        She had it?

      3. JaimeRoberto

        Let me know if you come across it.

        1. Tres Cool

          That’s Bill’s job

          /blue dress

    6. Dr. Fronkensteen

      all future presidential candidates should be required by law to release their tax returns. They also should not be exempt from ethics requirements and conflict-of-interest rules.

      HAHAHAHA

    7. Rufus the Monocled

      MagaManDrex

      @MagaDrex
      35m35 minutes ago
      More
      Replying to @HillaryClinton
      what happened? I lost. What does the afterward say? I still lost.
      2 replies 7 retweets 65 likes
      Reply 2 Retweet 7 Like 65

      Newsclippers – QFD Ban

      @Newsclippers
      33m33 minutes ago
      More
      Or maybe: What happened? I lost. What does the afterward say? I’ve thought of 47 more people to blame.

    8. Rufus the Monocled

      She has to be reading those tweet replies no?

      I mean, they’re letting her have it.

      A person with some dignity would take that as a sign.

      But not this sore losing sociopath.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        She doesn’t read or write it. Staffers compose and focus test that drivel.

      2. Mad Scientist

        If anything, this will just convince her that her big weakness is still that she just can’t convey her message well enough for the hoi polloi to understand it.

      3. Rufus the Monocled

        Ah, I get it!

        Hillary: What are the idiots saying about me, idiot?
        Staffer: They love you!
        Hillary: Of course they do! Now get the fuck out of here.
        Staffer: I have to go for cancer tre….
        Hilary: Will someone fucking make me a sammich?!

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          The peasants are revolting

          You said it. They stink on ice.

        2. R C Dean

          Hilary: Will someone fucking make me a sammich martini?!

          Let’s be fair, here. Her heavy drinking is one of her few endearing qualities.

          1. Spudalicious

            No doubt she’s one mean, nasty drunk.

          2. Mad Scientist

            She’s a mean and nasty sober.

          3. Spudalicious

            Ya wanna know what’s worse? When she gets drunk, she gets horny.

        3. Hilary: Will someone fucking make me a sammich?!

          Ask ENB.

      4. Bobarian LMD

        They’re all just part of the VRWC.

  18. Pope Jimbo

    Sucker born every minute? Or maybe it really is good?

    Prince’s new basement tape: Just him singing, playing piano

    The new album is being released this Friday. I’m no great musical mind, but this sounds like a cash grab to me.

    Recorded on a simple cassette, the 35-minute worktape brings the music of Prince full circle, said Troy Carter, adviser to the Prince estate. Prince was on his solo “Piano & A Microphone” tour when, at age 57, he collapsed and died of an accidental fentanyl overdose in his Paisley Park home and recording complex in suburban Minneapolis on April 21, 2016, a week after a concert in Atlanta.

    “It was just mind-blowing listening to this raw, simplistic performance,” Carter recalled. “It just felt like the right next move to let the world hear this version of it.” He calls it “a jam session” intended for music lovers, not super fans.

    1. Michael

      I must be a sucker, because I’ve already blocked out a portion of Friday afternoon for a trip to the record store.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Imma guess that there is thousands of hours of available stuff that Prince played with over the years. Kevin Smith has a great story about working with and recording Prince that just go shelved, when Prince changed his mind about it.

        Some of it is probably brilliant; hopefully whomever is going thru his stuff can recognize the wheat from the chaff.

        1. C. Anacreon

          I think I’ve heard one of the songs already, he sings, “I’ve got two pianos and a microphone!”

          1. Bobarian LMD

            A portion of the Kevin Smith talk.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        I love Prince, I’m just worried that this is a naked cash grab.

        The handling of his estate has been a complete shit show. A carfull of clowns has been fighting over the music and the money before his corpse hit room temperature. The only people who are doing well are the lawyers.

        1. Of course it is, he put it in the vault because he didn’t want it out there, unless he left specific instructions to slowly release certain shit after his death it can be nothing other than a cash grab by his estate.

    2. JaimeRoberto

      I went to his concert a few weeks before he died. It was fantastic.

      1. KSuellington

        The stoned noodlings of Prince on some random night at 3am are likely better than 98% of pop music these days.

    3. Gilmore

      “this sounds like a cash grab to me.”

      I doubt it.

      his estate has so much potential stuff to collect royalties on, there’s little real financial incentive trying to sell “new, shoddy stuff” – very little real $ comes from sales anymore, more comes from licensing, ‘his brand’.

      if any angle on ‘money’, id think its “Keeping his name in the news” so that people continue to buy old stuff out of nostalgia. Maybe material to add to some forthcoming ‘box sets’

      Also, i really do think he was such a prolific + quality-songwriter, that they’d have mountains of stuff to choose from, most of it actually pretty good.

  19. Pope Jimbo

    SHOCKED! I’m shocked that there is gambling happening in this establishment.

    DFL confirms that it is still investigating claims of domestic abuse against Keith Ellison. I can’t believe that they didn’t wrap this investigation up before the election.

    Interesting new tidbits:

    In the last few weeks, Monahan said she and the investigator have spoken on the phone and in-person at her home. Monahan added that she provided text messages between her and Ellison, medical records from 2017, and notes from a therapist that she was seeing as well.

    Monahan shared with 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS a health care record from Park Nicollet from November 2017. Medical staff wrote, “She states that she was in a very stressful environment for years, emotional, and physical abuse by a partner with whom she is now separated. She did not have any physical injuries that required a physical examination in the past. She identifies the individual she was involved with as congressman Ellison, and she is worried about retribution if she identifies him publicly.”

    So if therapist notes are enough to torpedo Kav, how the hell are the DFL going to spin this? She has therapists notes, medical records AND at least one witness who heard about this around the time it happened.

    1. Tundra

      Supposedly that race is neck and neck. I don’t believe that for a second.

    2. R C Dean

      Not to worry. This falls under the rubric that journalism is all about covering stories that will hurt Democrats. With a pillow, until they stop moving.*

      *h/t IowaHawk

      1. commodious spittoon

        Criticizing DNC water carriers is undermining democracy.

  20. Pope Jimbo

    I would have thought that the increasing screen sizes are biased against men more than women. After all they have purses to lug the things around in.

    How is a normal guy supposed to fit one those beasts into his pocket? It must be especially hellish for hipsters and their skinny jeans.

    1. Private Chipperbot

      Fanny pack.

      1. Tundra

        Orphan bearer.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        European carry-all you mean.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        That just ain’t right

    2. Chipwooder

      Hipsters simply never put the phone down. They hold it every waking minute, for it is their raison d’être.

  21. Enough About Palin

    “Is it really sexist that Apple made an iPhone too big for Trump’s hands?”

    Not all women…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSL4cmFW_GU

  22. Suthenboy

    L.A. has banned plastic and now fur? Naked city?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Hair shirts.

      1. Wool in LA is a terrible Idea.

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        Adult Male Jumpers?

    2. They’ll buy their clothes from the same place they get their drugs and guns.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        ATF has a clothing outlet?

        1. Tres Cool

          see also: Indiana

  23. Soyboy

    Thanks egould for posting The Goon Sax recently. I love them. Imagine being a father and having your son grow up to appreciate and make great music that you yourself loved and made. There’s a reason for pride. (Some of you don’t have to imagine, sounds like. That’s great!)

  24. trshmnstr

    Y’all must’ve heard that Bert and Ernie came out of the closet today. Don’t be fooled, the Muppet species has only one gender, and we find your sexual form of procreation quite disgusting. However, as part of our plan for intergalactic conquest human outreach, we decided they should be gay to fit in with today’s crowd.

    1. Chipwooder

      As usual, the press sensationalizes something exceedingly minor. The guy just said he used his own relationship with his boyfriend as an inspiration for his scripts for Bert and Ernie.

      “He compared his own relationship with acclaimed editor Arnold Glassman to the characters. “I always felt that without a huge agenda, when I was writing Bert and Ernie, they were. I didn’t have any other way to contextualize them. The other thing was, more than one person referred to Arnie and I as ‘Bert and Ernie,’ ” Saltzman recalled.

      And the characters were created 15 years before he even joined the show.

      1. Soyboy

        Yeah and the official clarification was ‘they’re dickless puppets, you mooks.’

      2. C. Anacreon

        I’d always heard Bert and Ernie were named after Jimmy Stewart’s cop and cabbie pals in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Now I guess they’ll be outed as well. “Daddy, teacher says everytime a bell rings, a person converts to LGBTQ.”

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I laughed

        2. R C Dean

          Daddy, teacher says everytime a bell rings, a person converts to LGBTQ cis-hetero male cuts off his dick.

          Get woke, bro.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Uffda. Am I late to the muppet party? Did I let all of you down one last time?

      I’m off to listen to Lou Reed and sulk

    3. Soyboy

      Asexual and Bert is incapable of romance. Ernie is homoromantic, but he’s very loving in general. He’ll get #metoo’d soon.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Ernie is always touching rubber ducky inappropriately in the bathtub.

        1. C. Anacreon

          It does lead to joy of joys.

  25. Pope Jimbo

    Sesame Street writer confirms that Bert and Ernie were gay.

    What irks me about this is that the guy making this claim started writing for Sesame Street in 1984. I’m too lazy to look up exactly when Sesame Street began, but I can confirm that I remember watching Bert and Ernie in the early ’70s when I was a kid.

    I hate it when some group makes a silly attempt to rewrite history. When I was in college I new a guy who claimed that EVERYTHING was done by Africans first only to have it stolen by whitey. I’m sure there were instances of shit like that, but EVERYTHING? And why is it such a big deal to claim Bert and Ernie?

    If the guy had been the first writer for Sesame street, I would actually be OK with this story. It just rubs me the wrong way though for him to try to change reality like this.

    1. I was under the understanding that they were close relatives – no more than first cousins apart.

    2. Chipwooder

      1969

    3. Mad Scientist

      But he can’t change reality. Whatever BS he’s deluding himself with means….absolutely nothing.

    4. invisible finger

      I thought they were Joe Pesci and Robert DeNiro

    5. Soyboy

      It was just one writer, who’s gay, giving his view. The problem is he’s yanking them out of the closet without their consent. That’s fucked up. Do puppets needn’t consent?

    6. Gilmore

      Frank Oz, creator of Bert+Ernie, says, “Lol no they’re not”

      And then 10,000 twitter people scream at him

      1. Rhywun

        “You may have created him, but you don’t seem to realize or appreciate what he meant to thousands of little boys growing up.”

        Oh FFS. Bert and Ernie are intended for elementary school kids. They’re not supposed to mean shit related to sexual orientation.

        1. grrizzly

          elementary school kids

          It’s 2018: they are old enough for a gender change.

        2. Soyboy

          That douchebag, like all Twitter activists, is plainly lying. Bert and Ernie didn’t mean shit to him as a gay boy.

          But hey, it may be a lie, but at least his *intentions* are just! He’s just starting a discussion.

        3. Soyboy

          You mean pre-school.

          God I hate millennial twitterers.

          1. Rhywun

            Yeah, I probably stopped watching it around 2nd or 3rd grade. The Electric Company FTW

          2. Rhywun

            Just because.

            And holy shit, was everything really that groovy back then?

    7. Chafed

      I watched it back then too. I had the impression they were cousins or best friends.

  26. Suthenboy

    Advice needed –

    My 2 yo granddaughter is crazy about books and learning to read. My son told me he would shoot me if I showed up at his house with plastic toys. She loves books. I like this.
    So I am buying books. The little red hen is top of the list. I am damned sure not buying ‘Marvin’s Two Mommies’ or any proggy bullshit. I am looking for solid libertarianish values.
    Any suggestions?

    1. Soyboy

      Chicken Little, so she can see how warmists work.

      1. Suthenboy

        Ah. Excellent.
        So far:
        Little red hen
        the boy who cried wolf
        tortoise and the hare
        the ant and the grasshopper
        chicken little

        1. Suthenboy

          emperor’s new clothes

          1. KSuellington

            I liked “The Highway Rat” a lot. A rat that likes to steal other animals’ food gets his comeuppance. Very good illustrations and my boys loved it.

          2. What was the comeuppance?

          3. KSuellington

            He gets tricked into going into a long dark cave after a goose and emerges much later “a thinner and grayer and meeker rat, he robs the travelers no more and makes his living sweeping the cake shop floor.”

            Can you tell I’ve read it a hundred times?

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Encyclopedia Brown.

      Private law enforcement has to be pretty high up on the libertarian values list.

      1. I hate that snide little shit. A lot of his reasoning is spurious and does not prove what he thinks it proves (or anything at all)

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Like I said: libertarian through and through.

          *ducks and runs*

      2. Fourscore

        Anything by Mises and Hayek

    3. Soyboy

      When I was a kid, the Frog and Toad books were my favorites. I just realized there’s a Bert & Ernie situation there.

      1. Homple

        Reminds me of the National Lampoon’s “The Wimps in the Pillows”.

    4. tarran

      The gruffalo.

    5. Pope Jimbo

      All my kids loved the gross food stuff like Sam’s Hamburger.

      Not sure it is libertarian, but it is fun to read to a kid.

    6. Tundra

      At 2? I wouldn’t worry too much about the subjects. My kids loved a lot of the Suess books and just about anything with animals. The Sleep Book was a particular favorite. Even the stupid Rainbow Fish was quite popular, mostly because of the illustrations.

      Some others that they loved:

      Brown, Bear Brown Bear, What Do You See?
      The Snowy Day
      Harold and The Purple Crayon
      Are You My Mother?

      As she gets older, series are the way to go. Even the old ones, like Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys are excellent. Both Spawn read like crazy and I’m convinced it started then.

      Fun times. Get Charlotte’s Web to read to her.

      1. R C Dean

        She’s learning to read at 2? Wow.

        I think a compleat Dr. Seuss set would be a good investment.

        1. Nephilium

          Dr. Seuss would work, I remember liking almost all of his books, as well as Shel Silverstein when I was first learning to read. As she gets older, first volumes to age appropriate graphic novels work, as to Heinlein juveniles. Depending on the parents, Narnia can work as well as the Wizard of Oz.

        2. Pine_Tree

          Remember to drill into them how The Lorax is all about the tragedy of the commons.

    7. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Everyone Poops

      Because it’s (generally) true

      1. Chafed

        That was a big hit with my girls.

    8. Scruffy Nerfherder
      1. Tundra

        Someone in the office had that the other day. Not sure I’ve laughed that hard in a long time.

        And then I was really grateful I’m done with that!

    9. Gilmore

      “solid libertarianish values”

      a copy of Guns + Ammo

      1. KSuellington

        Also, she is too young now but I started reading (my adapted simpler) Old Man and the Sea to mine around age 4 or 5 and they have now heard it five or six times and enjoy it a lot.

      2. Don Escaped Texas

        If he starts right this minute, she won’t miss any of the 16 “why the M1911 is still the greatest pistol of all time” articles they’ll run before she can vote

        1. Of all the handguns I’ve fired* I liked the 1911 most.

          *three

          1. Sean

            You ever find yourself in the Bucks County PA area, we can dramatically increase that #.

          2. R C Dean

            Bucks County is one of the prettiest pieces of country I have ever seen. I catch a renovation show set there sometimes (Stone House Revival?) – dude works mostly on pre-Revolutionary War houses. Really cool.

          3. Don Escaped Texas

            It’s the easiest to teach; I like it fine.

            It’s just that one year reading that is all you’ll ever need: it’s all the same over and over.

    10. one true athena

      The Pinkalicious books were quite popular with the little girls when I was working the book fair at our school. The first one’s cute (she eats too many cupcakes, turns pink) but I have no idea whether the later ones turn into Important Books About Social Issues of Our Time however.

      My son enjoyed the Bear books (Bear Snores On, Bear Wants More, etc by Karma Wilson) – the art’s good and the writing is charming enough the adults don’t want to shoot themselves. There’s some “power of friendship’ stuff going on but not in a cloying way, I thought.

      1. Chipwooder

        My daughter has a bunch of those. No wokeness that I’ve been able to detect.

    11. trshmnstr

      Aesop’s fables

      1. trshmnstr

        Baby trshmnstr is all about “reading” at dinner. Especially the book about ‘ish’

        1. Tundra

          ^cutest ever^

          1. trshmnstr

            Much less cute is watching this video for the 10th time in a row.

          2. Tundra

            My thoughts and prayers are with you.

        2. “My First Touch and Feel”!!! go ahead and cross Supreme Court Justice off possible career paths.

          1. trshmnstr

            Something something pussy grabbing

    12. Gustave Lytton

      Richard Scary
      Mike Mulligan & his steam shovel
      Madeline
      Little Toot
      Babar
      Frog & Toad
      Any of the Little Golden Books that were written before the last forty years

      1. Gustave Lytton

        And Curious George.

        1. Avoid “Curious George And the Industrial Accident”.

        2. trshmnstr

          Chick fil a gives out little curious George books in their kids meals.

      2. mikey

        +1 Mike Mulligan!!

        1. Gustave Lytton

          You came to mind mikey! But I really loved that book as a kid too. Was disappointed to find out that steam shovels weren’t used anymore.

    13. Not an Economist

      Whenever my niece (and her fiance) and my nephew (and his fiance) I plan on buy them books from Chris Ferrie

    14. Gustave Lytton

      And this for her 3rd birthday.

    15. Old Man With Candy

      The Carl books. That dog and baby get into lots of fun misadventures and never get caught by the authorities.

      1. R C Dean

        Second this. As a bonus, you will be setting your son up for years of being pestered to get a puppy.

    16. Sean

      I remember Richard Scarry books fondly for the artwork.

    17. Spudalicious

      Dr. Suess. The old ones.

    18. Longtimelurker

      My kids loved the Skippy Jon Jones books and I thought they were fun to read to them. Little Quack was also a favorite of theirs.

    19. OneOut

      Yes.

      Get the drop on your son the next time you see him and eliminate this threat to your life.

      In the mean time expose your grandkids to Aesop ‘s Fables.

  27. commodious spittoon

    What do you call a foreign agent funneling disinformation to an ostensibly friendly government? Not a spy, I hope. That might point to collusion.

    In “The Romanian ruse” Eric traces the origin of the Steele dossier’s allegations about Trump attorney Michael Cohen going to Prague to collude with Russia on Trump’s behalf. He asks: “Where did [the dossier’s] baroque tales of illicit meetings to pay Romanian hackers come from?” Based on “the exhaustive investigative work done for the Mueller team,” Eric suggests that the Steele dossier incorporated the fictitious story provided by Russian military intelligence. “Steele,” he concludes, “seems to have fallen for it.”

    In his most recent article Eric raises the question whether whether Steele was disseminating Russian disinformation to the State Department. Eric notes that before Steele compiled the dossier (assuming that the dossier is indeed his work), Steele “had for years been funneling reports on Russia and Ukraine to senior State Department Russia analysts. Materials recently turned over to Congress show that while Steele was giving memos to State he also maintained close ties to the billionaire Russian industrialist Oleg V. Deripaska. Some congressional investigators are thus concerned that his memos may have been a channel of Russian disinformation.”

    1. C. Anacreon

      Sorry, doesn’t fit the narrative. That’s the last we’ll ever hear of it.

  28. Chipwooder

    Major sad trombone for the Dems – Rob O’Rourke is way behind in Texas.

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      Beto only ever looked good when the undecideds were left out of the mix; in that way he got “close” at 40/40/20.

      From the original Texan, “undecided” translates roughly to “I haven’t realized this cycle that I always vote Republican.”

      Texas is nowhere near as Republican as most folk think, but it’s still two Red for Beto to even sniff a win.

    2. Michael

      Why are all media outlets referring to O’Rourke by his bullshit made-up nickname in all of their copy? Isn’t straight reporting supposed to at least put quotation marks around it since it doesn’t appear on his birth certificate, nor has he ever legally had it changed? If this isn’t carrying water for a preferred candidate, then I have no idea what is.

      1. Meh, tons of people go by nicknames, his opponent para ejemplo.

      2. Don Escaped Texas

        I don’t know about “all media outlets,” but for me it’s just homespun, just the fun of knowing folks. Papers should probably act better, though.

        Standard Texas Nicknames include
        Mr Sam >> Speaker Rayburn
        Tootsie >> Kathy Whitmire
        Ma >> Gov Ferguson
        the Hammer >> Tom DeLay
        the Exterminator >> Tom DeLay
        the Lege >> the Legislature
        Shrub >> GWB43
        Squatty >> E. A. Lyons
        Grandma >> Strayhorn
        Kinky >> Richard Friedman

      3. R C Dean

        Yeah, I thought the standard was First Name (“Nickname”) Last Name.

        But I guess if that makes one of the Right People look like a goofball phony, we can do without.

        1. C. Anacreon

          Your style book is correct.
          Example: legendary baseball player Elroy “Shit” Face.

        2. Chipwooder

          Yes, even in the Senate: Henry “Scoop” Jackson.

  29. Nephilium

    I have found a worse ticketing company then TicketMaster, I didn’t think it was possible, but AXS sucks even worse. I’m going to have to contest a (second) shipping charge for something that wasn’t shipped. I will be doing this on Thursday, after I use their shitty app to get into the GABF. So this is your last chance to tell me why I should stop at your favorite local brewery that’s on this list. Specifically that list. We’ll be hitting as many breweries in Denver that we can in the days after the fest. So this is to tell me why I should spend time at your favorite brewery instead of one of the 750+ other ones that are participating in the fest.

    1. Soyboy

      What are you trying to have them ship to you?

      1. Nephilium

        They were supposed to mail me physical tickets, because I didn’t want to use their bullshit app to get in. Instead, they never sent a message that they were sending the tickets (12 days after they were supposed to ship), and I never received the tickets. When I called, they offered to reship them for $15, then it came out that the ship time was a 10-14 Business Day wait time. When I pointed out that the end of that window was after the event I was going to, they offered to cancel the reshipment, refund the money, and convert the tickets to digital. I agreed to that to avoid needing to deal with their support again.

        Finally, after over a dozen messages back and forth, they agreed to refund the money.

        Now. Tell me what breweries to go to.

        1. Soyboy

          You need their app? I’ve always had them email my tickets to me, or done Will Call. I know I’m blurring together all the ticketing websites, but I know I’ve used AXS before, and I’ve never chosen an option other than those…. I think.

    2. Sean

      PA is underrepresented. No Fegley’s, Weyerbacher, or Victory?!?! Wtf?

      1. Nephilium

        It’s up to the breweries to sign up, and there’s a limited window for it. Thankfully I’ve had beers from all three of those breweries, and now have even easier access to Victory (they’re partners with Southern Tier, who just opened a brewery in Cleveland).

        Sly Fox is solid, as is Troegs, and Yards. I haven’t tried the other PA breweries to my knowledge.

        1. Sean

          I was never happy with Yards. I liked Troegs, and Sly Fox was just ok. Though it’s been just over 3 years since I’ve had any of their beers…

    3. trshmnstr

      Fuck VividSeats if we’re airing our ticketing app grievances. Sold me $160 worth of tickets in the middle of the Maryland band for Maryland v. Texas. Never could get ahold of them so I marked it as fraud with my bank.

      1. trshmnstr

        In case it isn’t clear, thir fake tickets didn’t get me through the front gate. I had to buy tix from a scalper to get us in.

  30. Suthenboy

    On the children’s books I cant believe no one suggested Billy’s Dad is a Fudgepacker.

    1. AlexinCT

      That’s cause the ending can be kind of shitty….

      1. Suthenboy

        I cant think of any come-back euphemisms that aren’t already in the story itself

  31. R C Dean

    Who do I email to sign up for the next beer it forward?

    1. Nephilium

      *clears throat*

      This guy. My handle at the mail of Google.

      Anyone who signs up after tonight, I’ll be away from that e-mail address until next week. I’ll return messages then.

  32. Count Potato

    “The New York Times needs your help. We’re looking for false information being spread deliberately to confuse, mislead, or influence voters ahead of the 2018 midterm elections.”

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1042088054939443200

    1. whiz

      It’ll be funny if they get more NYT articles than anything else.

    2. R C Dean

      We’re looking for false information being spread deliberately to confuse, mislead, or influence voters ahead of the 2018 midterm elections.

      Somebody send them this link.

    3. Rhywun

      Wow. I think all the replies have it covered.

      1. whiz

        I liked this one:

        Sean
        ‏ @bklyn2cali
        3h3 hours ago
        Replying to @nytimes

        Get out!! The calls are coming from inside the house!

    4. Suthenboy

      Before I click I am guessing there are about a hundred people suggesting they search in the NYT, a treasure trove of fake news.

      1. Creosote Achilles

        Better than that. It’s just fake news memes illustrating their (NYT and others like CNN) duplicity. And that ratio, yo….

  33. Gustave Lytton

    Any Glibs built their own fences? Kind of gathering things together at this point, but appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thinking about putting a wooden fence up between the neighbors, to deal with a dog problem. Property line isn’t well defined, and i wouldn’t trust it if it was so first step would be getting a surveyor to (re)mark the lines and I know where to place it (other than shoving a 2×4 up the neighbors backside).

    1. Tundra

      Do you have an HOA?

      Also Hyp is around – he’s your man.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        No HOA, and no real restrictions as long as it’s under 6ft and isn’t into the ROW (which it won’t be).

    2. R C Dean

      appreciate any advice or suggestions

      You can get solar-powered hotwires that will stop a cow in its tracks. A little lower-profile and more neighbor-friendly than my preferred rolls of razor wire.

      1. Spudalicious

        +1. There’s only two times my hunting buddy yelped in pain. One was accidentally brushing a hot cattle fence. Poor guy levitated up and back about eight feet.

        1. Tundra

          *sighs*

          I hate myself for asking, but what was the other?

          1. But Enough About Me

            STEVE SMITH KNOWS ANSWER! {**WINK**}

          2. Drake

            I hear dueling banjos in the distance.

          3. Spudalicious

            A 3/0 hook hanging from some brush overhanging a local lake. I was training him on retrieves, he swam under the shrub and next thing I know he’s flailing, yelping in the water and not moving. I thought his leg was stuck on a submerged branch.

            I waded out, hoping I wouldn’t drop into a hole and saw his ear sticking straight up. I cut the line, put him in his crate and headed straight to the vet. On the way, he kept shaking his head. Every time he did that, the hook got hung up on the crate and I had to stop. Fortunately, it was only about ten minutes to the vet.

            That was one of his first introductions into being a hunting dog.

    3. trshmnstr

      Portable auger is your friend. If not, a post hole digger is your next best friend. Check how deep you need to go based on your frost line. I don’t know the rule of thumb off the top of my head. When Sinking the posts, double and triple check that they are perfectly vertical and sunk to the proper depth. Then use scrap wood to hold them there.

      If you do the posts right, the rest comes together pretty easily.

      1. trshmnstr

        hold them there.

        Until the concrete sets, if that wasn’t clear.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, I’ve dug enough holes to learn to quit digging. Home Depot has power augers for rent at something like $75/day.

        And will call the One Call line before driving through buried utility lines.

        1. trshmnstr

          If you’re worried about the dogs digging under the fence, you can add a bottom rail to keep them from tearing up the slats. We had a portion of our fence in TX like that, and it was the only place the rat terrier didn’t dig under.

          1. sounds too passive. Motion-sensing laser turrets for the yard. Also gets rid of squirrels.

          2. Semi-Spartan Dad

            I had to install 2′ of poultry wire as a bib all around our inner fence. It’s relatively cheap and keeps our dogs from digging under.

          3. R C Dean

            If you’re worried about the dogs digging under the fence, you can add a bottom rail to keep them from tearing up the slats run the hotwire along the bottom as well as the top of the fence.

          4. trshmnstr

            Oops sorry guys.. bottom railgun. Stupid autocorrect

      3. Check how deep you need to go based on your frost line.

        Regardless of frost line, if your fence is solid and going to act like a sail, dig your posts at least 36″ deep, well at least starting/finishing and corner post and at least every third or fourth one, intermediate ones can be shallower but if you are renting an auger or as I suggest below hiring a skid loader guy dig them all at least 36″.

        Also and I know I’m in the minority but I don’t like setting my post in concrete, I pour a concrete base but fill around the post with dirt and gravel tamping with the flat end of a spud bar every 6″ of backfill or so. My reasoning is that if you ever do have to replace/ repair/ reset a post it’s much easier if it isn’t encased in concrete. Also, and I have no science behind this, but when I have seen treated posts rotting its always at the line where the concrete backfill ends.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          I think I like this. Plus, I get to buy a digging bar.

          1. commodious spittoon
    4. Fences are pretty straightforward, how long are you looking at, your going to need a post hole about ever 8 foot or so I’d go 6 is it’s going to be solid and tall, so look into a post hole digger, rather than rent one of those two-man jobs, if your soil is rooty/rocky it might be worth hiring someone with a skid loader and post hole attachment, it’ll save you a ton of blisters, sweat and back pain. Other than that get some string an accurate level your lumber/Quickcrete/nails/screws and go to it. Basic designs are all over the internet but a fence is basically posts, rails, and slats. Easy peasy chicken greasy.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Soil is clay, and rains are starting so won’t be hard by the time I start, if I do it. HD has a hydraulic auger for $106/day, which sounds like it would be a bit better.

    5. Semi-Spartan Dad

      After installing ~1.5 miles of fencing using assorted methods, I would recommend NOT using concrete to set your posts. The concrete can rot your wooden posts and they’ll snap below the soil line. Not typical but not rare either. My fucking corner post on an 800′ run snapped. Not happy about it.

      My preferred method is to outsource to my farmhand. My second preferred method is to take a chainsaw, sharpen one end of the post, and then hire a someone with a loader to hammer it in. You’ll get a much stronger post with this method than by using an auger. Or use Hyperbole’s recommendation on hiring someone with a post hole attachment. Actually, Hpyerbole’s method is my new #1.

      If you go the auger route (least favorite), rent something like a Dingo that moves under its own power and uses a hydraulic auger. Skip the concrete. fill slowly and stop frequently to tamp the soil down. Use rocks and wood shims to get the post tightly in place as you go. If done right, its even stronger than concrete and there’s no danger of rot.

    6. Gustave Lytton

      Thank you all! Really set my mind at ease about this if I do go forward.

  34. Juvenile Bluster

    Hey, whaddya know, the cop who killed Botham Jean was lying about even more things than we thought.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6161483/Video-contradicts-story-white-Dallas-cop-killed-black-neighbor.html

    1. Count Potato

      I thought she was lying about pretty much everything, as nothing in her stories made sense.

    2. commodious spittoon

      She murdered the guy over noise complaints and expected to get away with it. That’s my working theory until and unless she comes up with a damned good explanation.

  35. Count Potato

    “YouTube provides a breeding ground for far-right radicalisation, where people interested in conservative and libertarian ideas are quickly exposed to white nationalist ones, according to a report from Data & Society.

    Although YouTube’s recommendation algorithms are partly to blame, the problem is fundamentally linked to the social network of political influencers on the platform and how, like other YouTube influencers, they invite one another on to their shows.

    The report describes an “alternative influence network” of about 65 scholars, media pundits and internet celebrities promoting a range of rightwing political positions, from mainstream conservatism to overt white nationalism. They are broadly united by their reactionary position: an opposition to feminism, social justice and leftwing politics and present themselves as an underdog alternative to the mainstream media.

    “Discussing images of the ‘alt-right’ or white supremacism often conjures a sense of the ‘dark corners of the internet’,” states the report. “In fact, much extremist content is happening front and centre, easily accessible on platforms like YouTube, publicly endorsed by well-resourced individuals and interfacing directly with mainstream culture.””

    https://www.theguardian.com/media/2018/sep/18/report-youtubes-alternative-influence-network-breeds-rightwing-radicalisation

    1. R C Dean

      much extremist content is happening front and centre, easily accessible on platforms like YouTube, publicly endorsed by well-resourced individuals and interfacing directly with mainstream culture.

      But enough about the jihadi channels.

      1. Count Potato

        “Also, thank you to @beccalew for actually making the reactionary influencer crazyboard I’ve been constructing in my mind for the last year.”

        https://twitter.com/kevinroose/status/1042058134511079424

      2. Count Potato

        At least the author has a sense of humor with her twitter page picture:

        https://twitter.com/beccalew

      3. Suthenboy

        Shouldn’t that be on a basement wall done with paper clippings, portraits with X’s in them, pins and colored yarn?

          1. LJW

            How is it that he is so great on that show but has sucked in every movie he has starred in?

    2. Count Potato

      “While Pettibone and Sellner may appear like many other good-looking young people posting flattering images on Instagram, on YouTube they openly advocate a total end to immigration. By emulating techniques used by mainstream celebrities and fashion bloggers on Instagram, they minimize the significance of their racist views.”

      Oh noes, not good-looking white people.

      1. Suthenboy

        Ending immigration or ending illegal immigration?

        1. We need increased Emigration – particularlly of people advocating marxist-derived philosophies.

        2. Count Potato

          The latter, of course.

          Also, Pettibone and Sellner are both engaged and from different countries, and I presume they would want to live together after they are married.

        3. Well, the latter, but there’s a certain group of people who intentionally conflate the two of course. Which pisses me off to no end.

    3. Count Potato

      “WASHINGTON D.C. — A federal task force has determined that the recent rise in online conspiracy theories has in fact been a well-coordinated plot by several powerful corporations designed to increase sales of corkboards and string.

      “You have no idea how high up this goes,” replied a member of the DC taskforce, speaking on deep background. The task force determined that powerful office supply consortiums had deliberately fabricated many popular online conspiracies, including Pizzagate, Qanon, and Marisa Tomei’s 1992 Best Supporting Actress win, all in an effort to sell more corkboards and red string. “Everyone thinks conspiracy theories are all about Russian hacking and chemtrails, but what if it was an inside job?”

      “Follow the money,” the informant concluded, handing off a crumpled receipt from Office Depot before retreating into the shadows.”

      https://www.thebeaverton.com/2018/09/rise-in-conspiracy-theories-revealed-to-be-driven-by-corkboard-string-manufacturers/

    4. Count Potato

      “So this shadowy group writes a report. “YouTube is a principal online news source for young people.” They then claim (with no evidence) that our content is leading to “radicalisation” of young people. They then call on YouTube to shut us down.

      The report is then amplified by left-wing media outlets who also wish to shut down their competition for political and monetary reasons.

      And oh looky here – the shadowy ‘Data & Society’ group is funded by and partners with George Soros’ Open Society, the New York Times, the Omidyar Network, and a myriad of corporations & NGOs that also want us shut down for political reasons.”

      https://twitter.com/PrisonPlanet/status/1042102772286607360

    5. Count Potato

      “ON TOP OF THAT, the author of the report bleached her Twitter account clean. http://archive.is/b7hw6

      https://twitter.com/nickmon1112/status/1042148010145267712

      God bless Nick Monroe. His blood is 50% Adderall.

    6. Rebel Scum

      far-right radicalisation

      They keep using “far right” to describe collectivists when collectivism is on the left and individualism is on the right (if the left/right spectrum is to make sense.). These guys are all on the same team. It is just variations on socialism.

  36. Tundra

    All the Press: Tesla the Target of Criminal Probe, Report Claims

    Another day, another WTF, Elon?!?

    The August 7th tweet, in which Musk said there was funding secured to finance his go-private plan, was sent from Musk’s car as he drove to work, the sleep-deprived CEO later admitted

    Dumbass.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      How can someone so smart be so dumb?

      1. Tundra

        It’s classic. Lots of smart guys strike gold in one area and then think it automatically transfers. Or they write business books.

        I can’t think of anything more miserable than manufacturing cars. His ego got ahead of him and he made some incredibly bad decisions.

        I’m a broken record, but it appears that no one involved bothered to study the real available market for the products. And they assumed that no one else would jump into the fray. Not sure why partnering with someone who knows what the fuck they are doing was so unpalatable to him.

        1. Suthenboy

          He was also counting on tax dollars to keep this scam afloat, as are all the green energy grifters. They weren’t counting on Trump yanking the subsidy carpet out from under them.

        2. Amashi

          He also seems to have drunk a bit too much of the Silicon Valley Kool-Aid. A lot of guys there jumped into completely new markets and developed completely new business models that wee very successful. They winged it, and they won, and won bigly. This was possible mostly because no one knew how to what they did before they did it, so winging it let them start small and move fast in a marketplace without much in the way of more experienced competition.

          Making cars isn’t like that. It turns out that Toyota does know a thing or two about manufacturing automobiles, and that it’s harder than it looks. There’s a reason we see successful new software startups pretty often but we rarely see successful new car companies.

  37. Soyboy

    Ah, great. Just lost respect for Norm MacDonald, now I’ve lost it for Frank Oz.

    Fucking stand up for yourselves and stop apologizing.

    1. He’s an old man. He probably thinks people A: are looking for an appology, and B: will go away when they have one.

      The fact that it only encourages them hasn’t sunk in yet.

    2. Rebel Scum

      The correct response in such situations is a respectful, but stern “fuck off”.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      I got that he was mocking the guy.

      1. Soyboy

        Oh? Maybe I’m as obtuse as the Twits are.

        1. Rhywun

          I’m… not sure. But the person trying to a get a homophobic slur out of him is a complete fucking douchebag + everything I hate about the cancer that is Twitter so there’s that.

  38. Quick recommendation – it’s a few weeks old, but Episode 58 of Jonah Goldberg’s “Remnant” podcast is VERY good. Discussion on Hayek, Mises, etc with Peter Boettke – very enlightening and informative for me. Pick it up on itunes! Or listen to it here.

    1. Tundra

      Hey! Was it you who recommended the Chuck Dixon books the other night?

      If so, thanks! I’m halfway through the second and really digging them.

      1. Recommended the free one he posted on twitter – just downloaded, probably won’t get to it for a while.

    2. But Goldberg is a Never Trumper, a Secret Hillary Supporting Rino. Fuck Him!

      1. From reading/listening to him, pretty sure he got over that after the election – can’t change the facts – he’ll give credit where credit is due, but he’s not a big fan of diminishing civility, personal professionalism, etc.

        1. Poe’s law, and what not. I actually Like Jonah, that was my attempt at mocking his detractors.

        2. commodious spittoon

          Yeah, lumping him in with Bill Kristol (as a certain blogger I frequent insists on doing…) is at best misinformed. He’s been very critical of the guy (and deservedly so) while at the same time praising his much soberer cabinet.

          1. Soyboy

            Some Lots of people can’t distinguish among Jews.

        3. R C Dean

          he’s not a big fan of diminishing civility, personal professionalism

          Neither am I. However, I’m not in a suicide pact with civility, where I play by Marquess of Queensberry rules while my opponent shivs me in the kidneys.

  39. Count Potato

    “Yes, Stormy Daniels book includes a description of the Genitals of POTUS, but my book includes a drawing of his supple nipples.”

    https://twitter.com/glennbeck/status/1042167045855502336

    Is it a pop-up book?

  40. Mr Lizard

    Second blathering from the old female mammal

    “From colleague Connor Marley. Feinstein on Ford. Says Ford “is a woman that has been, I think, profoundly impacted, on this..I can’t say that everything is truthful. I don’t know.””

    I would be monumentally disappointed if the proggies blink on this one. True Domineering Species always double down.

    1. Soyboy

      straffinrun last night was a nice mix of Razorfist and AgileCyborg

      Let’s see how this works out. A little trashed at 2:38 pm. I’m on a camping trip with 6 families in the mountains of Yamanashi. The other families, including the wife and daughter, went off to the onsen for the afternoon and I resisted the arm twisting they used to get me to go with them. Whenever I go on trips with groups of Japanese people, I steal a half day or so to spend by myself and go on a long distance walk. On this trip, I decided to go off into the mountains behind the campsite with a liter of Stoli’s, a pen and paper and see what’s rattling around the noggin.
      The Norm McDonald uproar. This guy says that not every lying cunt should be believed. Shocking stuff. Maybe, just maybe, not every woman who claimed to get a cock stuffed in her mouth or got her tit squeezed is telling the truth. It’s better that ten innocent men get ass raped in prison than on comedian say the obvious?
      What is the purpose of comedy? In King Lear, the fool is the one person the King calls for when his sanity is dissipating. He has already banished his best advisor when the advisor told him the truth about his daughter. He has no one left to speak truth to power and somewhere in his mind he knew he needed someone to fill the role. So he repeatedly calls for his jester. A society that goes after the jester is a society that is primed to go full Robespierre.
      You say the wrong thing at the wrong time and some soy soaked labia is going to spill forth from society’s crotch and shoot it’s load all over your face. And you’ll like it. Try to wipe it off? Denier! You’re only choice is to let every skank that eagerly sucked dick in a desperate move to get daddy’s love to squat on your face, allowing the slurry ooze down your throat. You better have a fucking smile on your face while you’re at it.
      I don’t know the answer, and like everything Russian I’ve dealt with in my life, this bottle of Stoli’s is raising great questions and answering none.
      When I get back to the campsite, the humans with cocks will be tending the fire and cooking meat and the humans with pussies will be fucking around in the makeshift kitchen. I’ll be drinking my single malt by the fire and thinking about Norm. God fucking bless you.

  41. Sean

    Psa: The 2nd Doctor Who movie from 1966 is about to start on CometTV. Featuring a young Bernard Cribbins (Wilf).I

    1. Rebel Scum

      CometTV

      I, too, only pay for internet and do not have cable.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        It’s a digital over the air subchannel around here.

        1. Rebel Scum

          That’s what I meant. Pay for internet and have an antenna for the tv. Mostly stream Hulu/Netflix/Amazon.

    2. Rhywun

      Sniff. That channel doesn’t exist in NYC.

      1. But Enough About Me

        Pfffft. Try Canada.

    3. Whelp, I installed it with who knows how much other shit but Peter Cushing Dr. Who is worth a little identity theft.

  42. Suthenboy

    Wife just turned on the Tucker Carlson show. I am convinced he is either one of us or lurks here.

    1. Why do you say that?

      1. R C Dean

        Based on Tucker’s tophat and monocle, I think Suthen may be onto something.

        1. Soyboy

          I’ve been wearing this stupid bowtie for years. When do I get my wardrobe upgrade?

      2. Suthenboy

        “Why do you say that?”

        He opened the show by hitting all of the high points of our discussion on the Ford/Kavenaugh debacle from this morning. It was a very good discussion and y’all were very insightful about the details of the shitshow and the wider implications. This is the first time I have heard anyone in the MSM bring up any of those points. He talked about it last night, didn’t mention any of that and I am doubtful that he came up with that all on his on just today. Why should he? All he has to do is come here and then put the discussion in his own words, words which weren’t all that different than what I read here this morning.

        1. Suthenboy

          One gripe…the only serious thing that I added to that discussion is that if the R’s let them get away with this shit then they will never get anyone confirmed again. He left that out of the opening. A guest brought it up later.
          Oh well.
          *kicks pebble*

        2. Soyboy

          FWIW, if I had my own political-entertainment TV show, or any such platform, I’d steal from all of you guys.

          1. Soyboy

            But unlikely he’s aware of this website. Maybe those takes just have high memetic potential.

          2. trshmnstr

            *knowingly sideeyes Tucker erm, soyboy*

          3. Suthenboy

            Then my suspicions are confirmed, it’s a sarcastic handle. Tucker once mentioned that he took his daughter(s) on a vacation to a trap shooting camp. Not very soy.
            *also side eyes Soyboy*

        3. CPRM

          The only way to know for sure is of he does one of the following:
          A) References The Hat and The Hair (new cartoon up right now in the next thread)
          B) References STEVE SMITH
          C) Admits he wears driving gloves
          or
          D) Does an entire episode that is all puns

    1. trshmnstr

      After watching that one, it sent me to this video, which is pretty good.