Like so many other fields of science, astrology has tradeoffs; by increasing the certainty of the conclusions you reduce the details known. There has not yet been a heavenly Heisenberg to calculate the astrological h-bar, as far too many astrologers are really bad at math. But it probably exists. We can see the phenomenon this week in the skies. There is an alignment where Venus and Mercury are in tension with the Sun, so we know that this week you will be forced to make a choice between your love life and… something. That may sound bad, but it’s not really, because there won’t be any diminution of the one you don’t choose, it’s just that it won’t be increased.
I’ve managed to unpack my protractor and compass, so I was able to do a little bit of more precise forecasting, and that above alignment is going to snap into opposition with Jupiter on Monday. On that day, a romantic relationship is going to take a hit from an authority figure. That young hottie might turn out to be a bit too young, or you will suddenly discover the existence of an ex- (or maybe even current!) spouse that you didn’t know about. Or it could be that a bench warrant results in you and your partner being on opposite sides of reinforced glass. Like I said, the details are unclear.
The moon in Sagittarius brings inaccuracy in shooting. Coupled with crappy fishing until Nov 23rd, it’s not looking good for non-market sources of meat.
Virgo is doing particularly well this week, grabbing Mercury along with the sun. Expect good news, and if you have a career advancement opportunity take it.
Venus and Jupiter in Scorpio brings domestic harmony, and hotties throwing themselves at powerful individuals.
Now some music, just because.
Comments
172 responses to “I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of September 16”
I don’t have a love life so I’ll take the something.
Is it a good week to buy 100 lottery tickets?
The “bad choices” thread is the one before this one.
I buy maybe a dozen tickets per year. It isnt a big expense and who knows? I keep hearing that the chances of winning are next to impossible, yet someone always manages to win.
Actually I am not sure what I would do if I did win. What in hell would I do with 100M bucks? I could easily pay off the mortgage, which has very little left on it anyway, I dont need to pay off any cars, they are all paid for, and I dont need a yacht or an airplane. I certainly dont need a bigger house to vacuum and clean.
Ok, that settles it. I would spent it on guns.
Buy more land?
Ok, there is that. I have had my eye on about 1000 acres for years but I dont think the owners (my extended family) would want to sell. I guess they would if the price were right.
That’s what I would do. Pay all my shit off (a few hundred grand), quit my job, and buy 1000 acres in the middle of the mountains. Build a house that has enough room for 2 or 3 500g+ fish tanks, a library, and a back deck with a view.
The other 95 million? Idk.
Ouch. We owe less than 20K total. The land I referred to is already in the family so I have access to it. If I bought it nothing would really change except that I would be paying the taxes on it. So I dunno. I would barely be able to put a dent in the first million.
I mentioned this conversation to my wife a minute ago and told her that. “Maybe you dont know what you would do but you do remember we have kids, right? I am sure they would come up with some ideas.”
Which means plan B: dont tell anyone if you win. No one. Not one soul.
Ok, my brother. I would probably split it with him.
The state lottery screws that over here. Can’t redeem a winning ticket anonymously, and they love to have press releases & conferences. I wonder what they would do if you scowled through all of the photos, wore a shirt like “lottery is a scam”, and gave minimal non-answers?
Law school + navigating a new marriage = very expensive. We definitely bought our way through stress for those years.
I’d want to keep whatever it takes to retire comfortably and get rid of the rest with a vengeance. I wouldn’t want that much money hanging over my head for the rest of my life.
“I am sure they would come up with some ideas”
Yeah, I can come up with some ideas too.
“Law School and new marriage”
Yikes. Yeah, that is expensive.
Don’t let money hang over your head. We took our substantial savings and put it in an annuity. I just pretend it doesnt exist. I cant spend it and the compounded interest will nearly double the amount by the time it is mature….and now come to think of it, it might be getting close to that time. Good god, that many years passed already? Shit. No wonder I feel old.
*all of the money is for my wife. I have no desire to spend it. I am pretty sure I will be sitting on a cloud playing a harp before she is. I wanted to be sure she is taken care of.
“I have had my eye on about 1000 acres for years”
Are you going to found Libertopia, Suthen? Just let us know when we can claim our homestead.
you can buy me a trip to the States all expenses payed. Or organize a Glib get-together somewhere nice like Hawaii or Alaska. Or pay for your mine orphans to go to college and become programming orphans
“you can buy me a trip to the States all expenses payed.”
You know what Pie? I probably would.
DO NOT educate your orphans people!! Do you want an orphan uprising? Because that’s how you get an orphan uprising.
Hobble ’em like Krauthammer.
Give it to all of us at Glibs.
Sorry I couldn’t make it on last week. Thanks to all the good wishes. To answer some questions:
I’ve moved outside of Saratoga Springs in an unincorporated town called Milton.
The tiny windows are awesome. They are on the side of the house that faces my further neighbor, and we have woods between us. The side of the house that has the closer neighbor has ZERO windows. The architect must be a kindred soul. The remaining sides have gargantuan windows that I am hanging various blinds , shades, and curtains on.
That closer neighbor? Gossipy old busybody. I met her, and she spent 45 minutes telling me everything about how the other neighbors are horrible and how she goes to every town meeting to complain about them. Fortunately, this town has zero actual rules or authority, so it works out well — she gets to complain, and the rest of us get to be left alone. She was complaining about how the local gun club is too loud, and how they won’t move. Actual quote: “They say they’ve been here 60 years, but sixty years ago all these houses weren’t here.” There is a waiting list to join said gun club http://www.kayaderossfishgame.org/home.html and I’m not sure what they provide facilities-wise, but listening to them, I think they’ve got at least one duelling tree.
Can you put a plant barrier to the close neighbor? My mom has some sort of Thuja plants and they are like 4 meters tall and you cant see much through
There is a row of pine trees, but they are so old and tall that the lower branches have thinned out.
Pie is onto something there. Thuja makes an excellent screen. They are easy to plant and grow fast.
I’ll look into it. But with no windows between me and her, I’m not too concerned.
I would plant gympie gympie, just to be sure.
I doubt they would survive the winters here, and I don’t actually hate squirrels.
Of course this exists.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchineel
How about some of these?
“is common to rainforest areas in the north east of Australia”
Should have known, even the plants there want to kill you.
In Brazil, these are common hedges. They’re all around our place there, along with a high iron fence of course. Here, they are houseplants. There they are hedges that grow about 5ft or more high and are impenetrable.
Crown of Thorns
We have a gun club within hearing range as well. Oddly, I like the sounds.
Same, or at least it doesn’t bother me, beyond grabbing some of my attention trying to figure out what game is currently being played. The main problem with it is that it is all outdoors, so they shut down at sunset, which is going to mean I’ll need to find a different range to practice on, once my license comes through.
“once my license comes through.”
If i wasn’t already pissed off enough, that right there did it. You have to purchase a license and get permission to exercise your inalienable right. Fuck New York.
you didn’t read my rant on the subject?
https://glibertarians.com/2018/06/i-fucking-hate-new-york/
I hope their facilities are more professional than their website.
JK. Enjoy your somewhat nicer part of NYS!
Isn’t every square inch of territory in NY incorporated?
Every county is divided into town(ship)s. Not sure if that means towns are “incorporated”.
AFAICT no, it’s just that living outside an incorporated area makes you subject to both the county and the town. But I could be very wrong about this.
Wikipedia says yes:
All it really means in practice is that towns provide services that in other states are provided by counties. Plus an extra layer of bureaucrats I suppose…
Yeah, the experience in living outside of a city here is similar to living outside of a city (also called towns) in OK/TX. There doesn’t seem to be any real purpose to NY “towns.” I have no idea wtf “Hamlets” are.
Nothing. Just a sign-post on the road.
OT: This was one badass Jew.
The Pali’s should get on their knees every day and thank god that the Jews live in Israel instead of me.
“The junction’s commercial center is open to both Israelis and Palestinians and is often touted as oasis of co-existence. ”
Truer words have never been spoken…
Build a house that has enough room for 2 or 3 500g+ fish tanks
I don’t think that’s big enough for a shark, laser-equipped or not.
Sharks are so cliche. It’s all about heat-seeking stingrays these days.
My attack fish
Just got home from lunch. Had a casserole. The crust tasted like they’d floated it on grease, or maybe synthetic motor oil.
They?
Whoever the Cooks at Uno’s were.
Though I’m skeptical that the tiny casserole was only 500 calories.
I dont know Uno’s.
I do know this: The sign over the door means nothing. Who is standing in the kitchen means everything.
I have found that, since it can be hard to find out who’s in the kitchen at many places, getting to know the managers or shift leaders can to a first-order approximation give you the same or similar results. A manager who sets high standards sets the tone for the rest of the staff. It’s not perfect, but I’ve seen a strong correlation.
Actually, Uncivil’s experience sounds like he ate at a pretty goid pizzeria Unos.
Their foid is basically a variety of expensive laxatives with different textures and tastes.
not knowing what uno’s is I googled. First result is United Network for Organ Sharing… what exactly did you have?
Uno “Pizzeria” and Grill.
I assume UCS was at Crossgates.
I don’t get how you Americans cook
LEMON BASIL SALMON Salmon grilled with a lemon, garlic and basil seasoning. Served with two sides. Cal 750 – 1510
How the fuck do you get 1500 cal with salmon? A decent piece of salmon some 250 grams is like 350 calories. Add some vegetables or greens on the side and bam 500. Maybe it is the sides… in that case skip the sides
So in other words, deep-dish pizza.
Amirite ?
Casserole.
I was stuck at a mall, I needed lunch and I didn’t want the food court experience.
If you want to know calories casserole does not seem like the way to go.
Hey UnCiv, did you see my comment re: your Canada route?
No, I did not see it.
TL;DR: Montreal is fine, don’t be scared by HM.
The drive from Warrensburg to Long Lake may be the most beautiful one I’ve ever taken. It gets less beautiful between Long Lake and Ogdenburg, then from there to Ottawa is boring.
The drive up I87 is gorgeous, right until you enter Canada, then it gets boring. Some of the East/West routes take you through first Nations Areas, they’re pretty depressing unless you like single-wides converted to tobacco shops.
If you do go to MTL pick up extra smoked briskets from Schwartz’s and smuggle them back across the border.
I’m thinking of avoiding French Canukistan, as I don’t exactly speak the language.
French Canada is my favorite part of the country.
Yes, a great cheap, relaxing vacation is to go to Quebec City in the winter, when great AirBnBs can be had for $20 a night.
Not a lot to do, but that’s the relaxing part.
Do they have foie gras and Armagnac like real French?
The 1609 Bar at the Fairmont Le Château Frontenac is one of my all-time favorite bars.
If you can vaguely speak it, then you can stumble along until they switch to English (this works in Montreal, not necessarily true francophone areas). Quebecker attitude towards Americans is “eh, at least they’re not from Toronto.”
By “I don’t exactly speak the language” I mean “I don’t know any French, and I can barely bring myself to utter English words to people”
I did, and I’m stealing a portion for a road trip to Montreal.
OT: DOOOOOOOM!
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/sep/15/hurricane-category-6-this-is-how-world-ends-book-climate-change
I was presented with the following message:
It gives me great comfort to know that their stupidity is entirely homegrown. It would be a real shame if they suffered from the pernicious influence of some connection to reality.
Pay no attention to the George Soros behind the curtain.
I think it’s the British government behind the curtain, as the Guardian always had the paid job listings for UKGov.
So, their version of ‘this one goes to 11’.
*facepalm*
Storms, droughts, fires, etc are all down both in frequency and intensity. The little warming cycle we had has been over for ten years. Like I said before, shameless liars and useful idiots.
Also, Katrina had winds over 200 mph and these same idiots were screeching that every year after would look like 2005.
The reason we dont have category 6 is because above 200mph it doesnt really matter.
“The reason we dont have category 6 is because above 200mph it doesnt really matter”
EXACTLY. It’s all human defined. It has no meaning.
I had to laugh. 200 is going to destroy everything in sight. 200? 250? You cant tell the difference.
Ass Glibs rejoice!
http://archive.is/X9ztd
#2 is practically begging for phallo-rectal action.
Crazy week, hurricane evacuation that ended up being a false alarm for where I live. Also I found out my grandparents neighbor convinced my grandparents with dementia to sign over everything in their will to her kids and a happy ending bath was involved. People are crazy.
You mean they signed everything over to the neighbor’s kids?
Yes I will explain more when I get off work
“I found out my grandparents neighbor convinced my grandparents with dementia to sign over everything in their will to her kids and a happy ending bath was involved”
WTF????? I think more detail is needed here. Also, have you contacted a lawyer? There’s no way that’s a valid contract.
Well, the ‘happy ending bath’ could be legally binding in some jurisdictions.
I think you should seek legal council. I strongly suggest you do that. You might also pay a visit to the district attorney’s office.
I’m in Virginia and most of my family is in Iowa where this is happening. My parents are getting lawyers and they should have a long time ago. Social workers have gotten involved several times because my grandmother has had several trips to the hospital and the senior center she visits reported my grandfather for elder abuse. My grandmother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s but my grandfather has not because he refuses to be examined, even though he clearly isn’t all there anymore. How a social worker turned over the custody of someone with Alzheimer’s to someone who walks around rambling incoherently covered in crumbs and urine is beyond me. They tried to get her into a home months ago but my grandfather refused because he didn’t want to sell his houses or land to pay for it. My parents should have suspected the neighbor for a long timeand I think they expected some theft of jewelry which they tolerated because she was so helpful . I haven’t lived there for several years but even long distance I could tell that the neighbor had far exceeded being helpful and something weird was going on. Currently my uncle who hasnt had a job since he got out of jail for kidnapping, lives at one of his parents homes rent free and is getting money from a fake disability claim is trying to get custody of his mom and get the will overturned so he can inherit the house he has been living in. This and the everything that happened with Natalie Finn a 16 year old former neighbor of mine who was starved to death by her parents makes me think social workers might prevent next to nothing.
Jesus. I sincerely hope that someone would put a bullet in my brain if I ever got to that point.
Sadly my grandfather is in significantly better shape than my grandmother. She can’t remember how to use, pants, feed herself, and goes in and out of when it is. I think it was maybe two years ago she was in the hospital because she tied her hands to lawn mower so she wouldn’t fall down mowing her lawn and passed out. That is how the neighbor started to be involved
I don’t know the exact phrasing or details but the bath was a major pillar in my grandfather’s defense of the new will.
I am sorry Waterfall. That is a nightmare.
Getting old can be hell on everyone. A friend of mine not long ago got a call from the sheriff. Please go see your mother. She is going to shoot someone.
When he got to the house she was running around shooting holes in the living room ceiling. When he asked her what she was doing she said “Your daddy is in the attic with whores! I can hear them up there! *bang bang bang*
His father had died 20 years before.
How a social worker turned over the custody of someone with Alzheimer’s to someone who walks around rambling incoherently covered in crumbs and urine is beyond me.
Social workers don’t care.
No offense to any social workers that might be lurking but…I worked in a mental hospital for ten years. We had a social worker department. Of the two dozen or so SWs one was worth her salt. The rest were complete idiots. I mean real morons. I wouldn’t put them in charge of picking up dogshit in my back yard.
Just because
Procreation in missionary only plz.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/age-un-innocence/201307/purposes-sex
I’m not a scientician but that article sounds like a whole load of question-begging to me.
The Rapids suck.
Not that anyone gives a shit about MLS, let alone the worst team in MLS.
Still; fuck the Rapids and their shittiness.
Too many mimosas on an anniversary weekend.
Uh, Happy Anniversary?
Anniversary of September 16, 2017.
“Too many mimosas” doesn’t seem like a real thing.
this place
https://www.bangersaustin.com
has a simple mimosa recipe:
Pour 1 bottle cheap champers into 1L mug.
Top off with OJ.
Have no fear; NYCFC are making a strong case for sorriest excuse for an MLS team.
You know, the team that plays in a fucking baseball stadium and just let their successful coach gallivant off to a job in fucking France.
“NYFC” and “MLS” my Glib words-of-the-day.
Drinking 40s in a gross apartment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhCwLD6-UdI
Tres and Yusef finally shack up?
Since I missed the Kavanaugh discussion earlier today. I was reading the woman’s ‘story’. The California liberal professor democrat donor woman’s story, that is. In her story, she makes admissions that she doesn’t remember many details, for instance, she doesn’t remember how she even got to the house. But she clearly remembers that Kavanaugh jumped her and he would have raped her if his friend had not jumped on top of them and knocked them apart. Hmm, somehow reminds me of a bunch of teenagers drinking in a house alone and acting like fools. But we have to believe the victim. This shit is out of hand. The republicans should just start finding people who went to elementary school with dems and paying them to say the democrat grabbed their boob or their dick, whatever. Have to believe victims. Maybe we need to go back to kindergarten and see if anyone remembers being called poopy head.
I dont believe a word of it. They pull this same stunt every time. It is practically a script. Surely Charlie will learn to stop playing along with Lucy. Right?
This is going to be every election from now on, forever, unless the GOP put a stop to it. And when it fails, there will of course be special counsels to take care of it.
Frankly, I don’t care if the story is true. Once we start down the path of decades-old minor offenses as a litmus test for “X” position, job, role we are doomed.
I am not sure, aside from malice, what their motive is. The guy is going to be confirmed in spite of their tantrums. It is a certainty. Why not try to fight battles they can win?
If you throw enough spaghetti on the walls, some of it’s gotta stick.
They are openly talking about impeaching Thomas, blemishing Kavanaugh provides another “invalid” Justice.
Impeaching Thomas? This is the first I have heard of it. Impeach him for what?
Didn’t whatshername recant her accusations against Thomas years afterward, or am I misremembering? I have been known to d that.
She never recanted and has resurfaced post “me too” saying more people would believe her today.
“Impeach him for what?”
For being an uppity niggah and not obeying massah.
Scare off the Repubs from nominating someone “worse” next time. Milqtoast Kavanaugh is as easy as it’s going to be. The GOP are cowards and lazy. They’ll fold. They were much happier as the Bob Dole loyal (read “compliant”) opposition.
+1 McCain return to bipartisanship
The only way this stops is if the Pubs start fighting just as dirty. Scorched Earth kulturkampf genocide. There is no common ground with people who want to enslave me. It’s like Polish Jews trying to find common ground with the SS. We win, they lose. That’s the only way this works. It’s also why Trump won, because he didn’t meekly bend over and slide his pants down when he started getting slandered.
Total destruction of the enemy (and they are the enemy, make no mistake) is the way this stops. Otherwise, you’re a slave.
I am coming around to this way of thinking myself. Too bad it has to be the GOP.
I think they deserve to be known as not only the Stupid Party, but the Coward Party.
That is exactly correct. I will say it again: If I go to DC it will be to kick some asses and all of the names have an R behind them. Worthless cowards.
I don’t know. I think they should be fighting back but I don’t think they should go so low. They don’t seem interested in doing anything about it, though. Booker should be censured, for example.
Well, it’s exactly this. Once we’ve moved from an innocent until proven guilty, to an automatically guilty by accusation society, we are all fucked. And it’s scary as hell how many democrats fully embrace this non-sense.
They forget ‘You today, me tomorrow’.
Look how many lefties have been caught up in the me too nonsense. The one that really got me was…uh…I think purple hair over at TOS?….asking why haven’t any libertarians been caught by #metoo?
Why, oh why? It is such a mystery.
They’re fucking Roperites.
What scares me is the path Q talk about above (along with the ones D’s are charging down) leads not back to civility & normalcy, but escalating political violence.
Something, something, die on my feet, something, live on my knees.
(to be crystal clear, I REALLY don’t want that to happen)
This. The culture is fucked either way. Wanna go the gulag route or the revolution route? One or the other is coming. It may not be in our lifetime, but history is clear about what happens when the socialists gain control of the levers of power.
Well, clearly, it only matters when the individual in question has an (R). Otherwise, it’s NBD. Do you even milieu control bro?
But I’ll make sure that my foggy recollection of the 35-year-old event makes it into the hands of a United States senator just in time to take him down anyway.
40 years. How many things do you remember clearly from 40 years ago? I have a few, but most of them is a sort of a blur where I don’t even myself remember what is the exact truth. I think your brain can just fill in the missing parts, and those probably have some bias. Or in the case you are a unhinged liberal prof from Cali who wants nothing more than to derail a GOP nominee to the supreme court, a LOT of bias. And just think, it this succeeds, the NYT will be writing fawning articles proclaiming this woman the newest hero of the world. She’ll be a shoe in for Senate. Truth? Doesn’t matter.
Shit. I can barely remember yesterday.
The BBC is on it! They just posted it as breaking news so it’s a one-para story that reads:
“US professor Christine Blasey Ford reveals she was teenager assaulted by Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.”
I guess they forgot the part where Kavanaugh was also a teenager. But, hey, that’s just a detail.
But Alfie Evans and Charlie Gard are just local stories that Americans shouldn’t concern themselves with…
Man Spreading?
Power to the pumps!
The shoes are what get me – 600 bucks? There’s not enough leather in those things to make a coin purse.
$3500 for some pants, shoes and a jacket!?
Campaign money is sweet!
Apparently I’m in the wrong business. I’m sure I could get some sweat shop orphans to throw that ensemble together for $35. Then I could sell it to idiots for 10,000% markup. Easy street!
Enh… could just be some publicity shoot where she borrowed the clothes. Chicks seem to be into that for some reason. Still a completely hypocritical move.
IOW she’s a Daily Fail Celebrity.
Socialism for thee, not for me.
She got it from the thrift shop down the road.
I got it from the thrift shop
I think RC posted a link the other day to an article where her family claims that every single word Occasional Cortex has said about herself is a straight up lie.
They’re probably still pissed about those times she redistributed some of their stuff, to herself.
That was a future state senator – Salazar, I think her name is? Running unopposed, of course.
I would have sworn it was Occasional Cortex. How did I get the mixed up? I am clearly not drinking enough.
They are both young, reasonably pretty Latinas who will be elected largely for that reason?
You forgot the Marxism part.
I think it’s a toss-up between “free shit” and “she looks like me”. It’s not like most people put a lot of thought into this stuff.
Wait until She Guevara jumps up on that big stage with her fellow commies. Once Booker and Harris see her as a threat, she’ll be torn to pieces and even the vultures will have nothing to clean up of the mess that was once the greatest new rising hero of the left. Poor kid has no idea what is in store for her.
Did I mention mocking names is the lowest form of political satire?
Karla Marx?
See while i dislike Occasional Cortex it is at least somewhat related to the name. But She Guevara for example is not even specific to a person. What is the point?
Pie is needin some edumencation.
Che == She
Get it?
I like mocking names, but then I never claimed to be a classy guy.
I think that’s a different person.
Refresh…
Yeah, it was OC’s brother.
Salazar is also a liar.
Get your groove on.
Toxic masculinity!
WOKE!
Always funny football antics
Did you see that? Guy looks back for the ball, glances to the right, see’s poor woman standing there, defenseless. Looks back at ball and again at poor defenseless woman. Suddenly steps aside and BAM! Then he’s thinking ‘damn, it was 4th down, but that was worth it!’. *Back in locker room* ‘Sorry guys, but did you see that stupid bitch, you really got her!’ *laughter all around*
That’s the way I saw it.
It was a preseason game.
Just more proof, since the game didn’t matter, that it happened the way I said.
Frankly, I don’t care if the story is true. Once we start down the path of decades-old minor offenses as a litmus test for “X” position, job, role we are doomed.
Thank you.
The concept of a “statute of limitations” exists for a reason.
How many things do you remember clearly from 40 years ago? I have a few, but most of them is a sort of a blur where I don’t even myself remember what is the exact truth. I think your brain can just fill in the missing parts, and those probably have some bias.
Don’t they call that “recovered memories” or some such hogwash? I think “post-hypnotic fantasy” would be more accurate.
40 years ago? Do you believe in prebirth memories?
Abomination!
Browns are playing a Browns type game. They lead most of the game until the Saints throw a touchdown with a couple of minutes left. The Saints get a two point conversion to go up 18-12. The Browns get a couple of first downs and then throw a 40+ pass for a touchdown to tie it up at 18. They then miss the extra point — the kickers second of the game (he had also missed a field goal — at this point). Then with a minute and half left, Drew Brees led the Saints to a shot a field goal (most on a completion to Ted Ginn) which they make. The Browns then make a couple of first downs setting up a chance at a field goal to tie. They miss.
**In a classy move the Saints kicker went over to the Browns kicker and did what he could to cheer him up.
Bills only lost by 11. Progress!
Oh snap….it’s back.