Introduction for week 2
I approached The Powers That Be with the idea for writing a weekly NFL pick-‘em column. They graciously agreed, and then I spit the bit on getting the first column in on time, because I’m irresponsible. The good news about that is my picks are probably going to suck, and this column can serve as a vehicle for Glibs to make fun of my handicapping skills.
That said – let’s see what’s up this week:
The week starts with the Ravens at the Bengals. Baltimore (-1) at Cincinnati – Baltimore looked much better against the Bills last week than the Bengals did against the Colts. And while the Colts were a better opponent and the Bengals will be playing at home, I still have to take the Ravens since a 1 point spread is essentially a pick-‘em scenario. I also think there will be a few Ravens looking for payback from last year. BAL – give up the point
Kansas City at Pittsburgh (-5). Pittsburgh giving up a late lead against Cleveland was surely disappointing to Steelers fans, and the game resulting in a tie was rather non-conclusive, although several people have pointed out that the Browns will now wind up with a better record than last year regardless of what they do from here on out. KC handled the Chargers, and although their defense looks somewhat suspect, Pittsburgh does too. I wouldn’t go so far as to pick a KC upset, but I’d take them with the points. KC – take the points
Philadelphia (-3) at Tampa Bay. Tampa looked surprisingly good, at least on offense. The Eagles have a better defense than New Orleans, however. The Bucs played well enough last week to make me nervous about this game, but I still would have to go with the Eagles, and give up the 3 points. PHI – give the points.
New York Giants at Dallas (-3). Wow. I don’t like anything about this game. The teams, the spread, well… maybe the cheerleaders. That said, I would never put a cent down on this game in the real world. In Internet land, I’ll take Dallas at home because I think they lost to a better team last week. DAL – give the points.
New England (-2) at Jacksonville. I hate constantly giving points. While this isn’t something I’d bet my house on, there’s gonna be at least one upset. Screw it, Jags win at home against a Pats team that, while still good, isn’t what it used to be. JAC – take the points.
Minnesota at Green Bay (-1). Well, this one will piss some people off. Sorry Vikes fans, I gotta go with the Packers here, especially after the balls they showed in last week’s comeback. GB – give the point.
Houston (-2) at Tennessee. Houston played NE tough last week. Tennessee played Miami tough last week. I’d kind of like to take the home team here, but I won’t. HOU – give the points.
Cleveland at New Orleans (-9). Cleveland may really, really suck, but they at least proved they can play in the NFL, even if they think they’re playing soccer and a tie is okay. Also, Tampa does have offensive talent, but New Orleans really showed nothing on defense last week. NO has the talent to blow out the Browns, but perhaps the Browns will make a habit of actually fighting this year. CLE – take the points.
Carolina at Atlanta (-5.5). I’d feel good about taking the Panthers if the spread were over a touchdown. This is another game I’m really on the fence about. Eh, screw it CAR – take the points.
Indianapolis at Washington (-6). Washington beat Arizona pretty badly last week, and Indy got dealt with by Cincy. However, Cincinnati was a playoff team, Arizona has sucked for years, and I HATE HATE HATE anything to do with DC. Fuck you, Redskins. IND – take the points
Miami at NY Jets (-3). Ehhh, ummmmm – the Jets. NYJ – give the points.
LA Chargers (-7.5) at Buffalo. That Ravens/Bills game was brutal. That is, unless you don’t care about the Bills, in which case it was just really, really funny. Really funny. And while there’s a decent chance the Bills will be shamed into playing better, there’s a limit as to how much better they can play. LAC – give the points.
Detroit at San Francisco (-3.5). Ever wish both teams could lose? Detroit at least used to be a worthwhile part of the US economy, but SF has the better team. SF – give the points
Arizona at LA Rams (-13). Okay. Now THAT is a point spread. In a fuck John McCain massive point spread special, I say LAR – give the points.
Oakland at Denver (-6). Given Denver’s lackluster (and quite inconsistent) performance over the past few years, I really thought about taking the Raiders with the points. However, it’s in Denver, and Oaktown wasn’t looking that great last week. DEN – give the points.
Seattle at Chicago (-3). Another tough one, as both teams had tough losses last week. Again, I’ll go with Chicago at home. Maybe they’ll give Mack some energy bars and he’ll actually play 2 good halves instead of one great one. CHI – give the points.
Comments
93 responses to “BakedPenguin’s NFL Pick-em – Week 2”
Dallas Cowboys!
Which until the last couple of years would be heresy. My beloved ‘niners have turned into proggy douchebags and Dallas now has a number of Boise Bronco players and Kellen Moore as a QB coach in his first coaching job.
I’m with you on the beloved ‘Niners becoming not-so-beloved anymore. But fuck…of all the teams to switch to, the fucking Cowboys?! I can’t think of a more hated team from a ‘Niners fan perspective. Maybe the Giants?
I’d prefer to pick a team that wins.
I did enjoy the Packer’s fuck you comeback last week.
I might become a Vike’s fan, just because of geography and family. I can’t stomach what the ‘Niners have become as an organization. Fuck the Yorks with a hot poker.
SUCK SWEATY BALLS!
You misspelled it. That’s SCHWEDDY BALLS.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bPpcfH_HHH8
It’s like you’ve mutated into some sort of monster. A retarded monster.
Why do you hate America? And America’s Team?
You think I’m going to root for the gangbangers from Baltimore?
You’re more of an Eagles guy. Santa Claus and snowballs.
And batteries. Don’t forget the batteries.
Look, Santa was a skinny drunk 19 year old and the fans were really booing the owner (ironically because among other issues the team was terrible and had lost its shot to draft OJ Simpson) and JD Drew was an asshole who deserved to have batteries thrown at him.
No one should be surprised that it was “America’s Mayor” and Gov. of Penna., Ed Rendell, who actually egged on the nearby fans to throw snowballs. Classy guy, a lawyer, and, of course, a D after his name.
I try to stay out of family business, but I have to concur here.
Yes. How a grown ass man could pick the Cowboys as his fav is beyond me. Especially being a former fan of one of their biggest rivals (at one time). It seems like a cry for help.
If you’re planning on an intervention, bring booze.
It is more than a cry for help, it is a sign of mental illness.
Then drugs will be required along with the booze.
And don’t even get me started on the Denver Broncos.
I am very Meh about the whole season and have not been paying attention. I will be helping my dad install a few windows on their sun porch tomorrow and it may be the first game I listen too/watch if he has it on. That does not diminish the hatred in my heart for the Cowboys though. That shit runs deep in any sane persons veins.
Spud as a fan of the Boys since their inception I’m afraid you picked the wrong year to convert.
Frustration lies ahead for Cowboy fans this year.
I told all my fellow fans that they were gonna miss Tony Romo. No way was the rookie a better QB than Romo and last year surely proved it.
I like Tony so much and sympathize with him for all the unfair criticism he received that was due to his surrounding cast that I am happy for him in his retirement, health and family wise.
Honestly, the only reason I’m interested in the Cowboys is the BSU connection. Other than that, I’ve pretty much sworn off the NFL until the playoffs. These days, I pretty much root for whatever defense is on the field.
Now play my 3rd place mother-fckin Theme Music .
Here’s you go
WTF man? I think I got mental whiplash listening to those two links back to back.
effin’ stoners
You’re forgetting what the Olympics are all about: giving out medals of beautiful gold, so-so silver, and shameful bronze.
Body Count is still around? Everyone I knew thought they were a joke over 25 years ago.
The Indians at least have a play-off berth, the Browns are already doing better then last year. Everything’s coming up for Cleveland.
If Fournette doesn’t play, there’s no way Blake Bortles will beat New England.
I thought it was Minnesoda -1.
I, too, am concerned about the KC defense. /no sarc
Without a healthy Eric Berry that secondary is going to get torched. At least the games should be entertaining, the Chiefs offense is stacked.
That is true. He’s the heartbeat of the defense but I don’t see him coming back, like, ever.
Your post fits a question I was about to ask.
Did he ever get signed ? How about the other two high priced free agent safeties ?
It is strange that Dez Bryant reportedly turned down two offers over contract disputes and is sitting on the couch.
I suppose that the money s so large these days that some players just think that they are financially secure and would rather sit than play for less than ego money.
Berry? He’s still part of the Chiefs set up, but won’t be playing any time in the foreseeable future.
Who is the free agent safety that is part of the kneeling controversy that blames racism for being unsigned when there are two other safteys of comprobale talent that are also unsigned for big previous salaries then.
I getem confused.
I think you’re thinking of Eric Reid.
Eric Berry is just injured.
‘Eric Berry is just injured.’
Always. I think this is his ninth year in the league and so far he’s pretty much missed three out of eight. One of, if not the best safety in the league when he can stay on the field but I’m afraid we’ll see him play maybe six games this year, tops. And he isn’t getting any younger.
Well, like I say, I don’t think he’ll ever come back.
I give him props for beating cancer and coming back to play. Everybody’s got a soft spot for him.
I miss Secret Nazi President
http://archive.is/WP9H0
Big boobie brunettes will mollify me.
25, 34.
4 is a serial killer.
I do too.
However, I didn’t miss the funny feeling that 25 and 34 gave me.
And I’d like to add that #4 is obviously a bunny boiler.
?
Hello 34. Please allow me to take you to dinner. You need a chicken fried steak and extra gravy.
Here ya go.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DdFqkv116Ng
When Picasso turned 90 a reporter asked him how he was feeling. He said “I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of me. I am finally no longer interested in women.”
You don’t have to worry about peer pressure any more, because all your peers are dead.
Al Bundy: “Steve, you just have to understand that men have urges, and women have the answer. Only, they have those urges too. They just dont show em.”
“A man is a young as the woman he feels.”
– Groucho
Hmm that’s sounding a bit different these days.
#3 is the head of this class by far.
Photoshop fail on #6
#7 is hiding something
#18
Meh meh meh meh.
^^^^^^ yup.
BUILD A WALL!!
http://www.tmz.com/2018/09/15/justin-bieber-us-citizenship-apply-canadian-dual/
I hope they turn him down.
I’ve never understood the multiple-citizenship thing. The concept of a “nation state” seems kind of pointless if you can just collect as many citizenships of ’em as you like.
I have several family members who are dual citizens and have had that conversation with my sis. She figures they should only be allowed to vote in one country and I am not sure I disagree with that. Funny though they would not grant my BIL a green card to work here in the construction industry because he is a highly paid Canadian in spite of being married to an “American” and fathering two “American” kids. That was years ago, but I told him to fly to Mexico and walk across the border.
Of all the objections I might think of, that’s the biggest. In fact, I kind of assumed that was already the case but if it isn’t, WTF.
They are sent a ballot every election. It just requires registering.
“The concept of a “nation state” seems kind of pointless if you can just collect as many citizenships of ’em as you like.”
As far as I know, no counties actually recognize those. They only recognize you as their citizen. So you can have as many as you like, but there’s probably no country that you have citizenship in who recognizes your citizenship in any other country.
Huh? You ever heard of dual passports? It is a very frequent thing. Or maybe I am not understanding what you are saying.
I think he means like this
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal/travel-legal-considerations/Advice-about-Possible-Loss-of-US-Nationality-Dual-Nationality/Dual-Nationality.html
So he may finally realize his dream of playing for the United States women’s national basketball team!
He’s not tall enough.
Good guy with gun shoots bad guy with gun. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/palm-beach/fl-ne-palm-gas-robber-shot-20180915-story.html
“Google built a prototype of a censored search engine for China that links users’ searches to their personal phone numbers, thus making it easier for the Chinese government to monitor people’s queries, The Intercept can reveal.
The search engine, codenamed Dragonfly, was designed for Android devices, and would remove content deemed sensitive by China’s ruling Communist Party regime, such as information about political dissidents, free speech, democracy, human rights, and peaceful protest.”
https://theintercept.com/2018/09/14/google-china-prototype-links-searches-to-phone-numbers/
Totally aligns with google’s motto “dont be evil”
They dropped that motto once the cat was out of the bag that they truly are evil back in 2015
Revolting. Oh wait, that’s probably another censored word.
Dragonfly is just a beta test for implementation here in the USA, once the ‘liberals’ get control back from the deplorables.
I just assume this functionality has been available the whole time, waiting for a switch to flip when and where told.
This.
“Semiautomatic rifles have been used in some of the largest active shooter incidents in US history. The weapons were banned in 1994 under the federal assault weapons ban but were reintroduced to the public marketplace in 2004.”
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/2702134
Wrong.
*thinks about expediting my savings for an M1A if they’re gonna start agitating to bring back the AWB*
Personally I think the Bengals will beat the Ravens, 34-23 with Andy Dalton throwing 4 TD with 3 going to AJ Green.
Hmm… you make a compelling case….
Tres/SP…for the cherry bbq sauce. Just do a search for Hey Grill Hey Cherry Cola BBQ Sauce. I personally omitted the cola and it’s pretty good. Probably would be best with fresh cherries too. Pay attention to their rub that they include in the sauce. It is noticable, however I was out of cayanne so I used harissa to get the slight kick.
Thanks! I’ll probably cut the brown sugar some, but this looks great!
Is this a Scottish transcription of Wikipedia?
https://sco.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis
It’s trying to read Beowulf.
Looks like eet, accordin’ to the URL.
I will call tonight a win. The girlfriend (after years of telling me she didn’t like gin) has decided that Tom Collins are a delicious summer drink.
“Oakland at Denver (-6). Given Denver’s lackluster (and quite inconsistent) performance over the past few years, I really thought about taking the Raiders with the points. However, it’s in Denver, and Oaktown wasn’t looking that great last week. DEN – give the points.”
This is dependent on what the coaching staff can do with Carr in one week.
The only prediction I can make is that Denver will blitz on every single passing situation, starting from the very first time until the game ends. If the Raiders cannot stop that early on by Carr getting the ball down field occasionally, then the Raiders do not have a chance. You can guarantee that after watching the Raiders/Rams tapes, the defense will be fapping over rushing the passer, often.
All that really matters is that we all know the Raiders are evil and the debils work.
Stop it, already, Al Davis is dead.
Ok ok, sorry.
*puts on gimp suit, paints face silver and high fives Hyp
*puts on skull encrusted shoulder pads, paints plata y negro tiger stripes on face and headbutts westernsloper*
negro tiger stripes
Ahem, that’s a tiger of color to you, bigot!
Random question, seeking advice. My iPhone screen is busted all to hell and is spiderwebbed across 80% of the screen. Should I go to an Apple store and have it replaced? Or an independent store that does repairs on this tech?
I’ve never dealt with a cracked screen myself (always put a screen condom on my phone), but I’ve heard that the third party dealers are much cheaper and usually do decent work.
Late, and dead thread. But if you don’t ask it again, I’d get the prices for both. If the indy store is cheaper, go with them.
I busted the screen on my Motorola 32 days after buying it. Decided to go with the independent due to delivery time mostly (4 hours compared to 4+ days) I think the price between the two was similar, but a little higher for Moto. I still paid the independent $180. Downside, now my warranty is void.
Just go to any phone repair shop. Done it like 8 times.