Thursday Afternoon Links

I lied on Monday when I said I was gone for the week. Here I am! But I’m sleepy as hell and I’ve been dealing with stupid all week. (Small rant after links.)

A suspect was arrested for the California wildfires.

California prisoners are being used to fight wildfires.

A bunch of people died at a funeral.

NYC votes to put a cap on the number of ride share drivers.

Beer.

588 uncounted votes were discovered in Ohio.

A “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl” was arrested (totes drunk obvs).

Perseid meteor shower is this weekend. If you want to take decent photos of the meteor shower, here are some tips from NASA.

And speaking of space this astronaut says he saw an alien-like creature once.

Super gonorrhea is running wild through Aussie.

Middle children may be endangered as more parents opt to only have 2 kids.

Google Maps now renders a globe. Take that, flat-earthers.

And WebDom links wouldn’t be complete without a product you need. In this case, 60lbs of cheese, which gives further credence to the idea that Amazon sells everything.

As for the stupid…

State Farm has been our car insurance company since my husband and I got married, and we’ve been very happy until two months ago. They had some technical issue in June, and State Farm is shitty at communicating, so we find out a month ago that our car insurance is about to be canceled for non-payment because the June payment never showed up. I call in a panic, reconnect our autopay, which worked flawlessly for 5 years, and pay the bill. Well, last week I just got another cancellation notice because the July payment never showed up because they fucked up the bank account connection.

Between that and the fact that our insurance has been $50/mo higher than they said after my husband bought a car in May, I got really pissed and started shopping around for new car insurance.

In an unexpected turn of events, the GEICO tagline actually proved to be true. 15 minutes DID save us 15% or more on car insurance. In fact, it saved us 57% on our premiums, and our deductibles are 60% lower.

Their app works perfectly (complaints about the dumb bot aside). Their customer service (who I had to contact about a typo on the insurance card) was swift and easy to reach through the app. And, while I’ve only been a customer for about 16hrs, I am already happier than I have been with any of the other insurance companies I’ve been with since I got my license.

And speaking about my license, I had to renew my license, and because of the RealID bullshit, it’s worse than ever. I already gave them my social security card, birth certificate, marriage certificate, etc., when I got the damned thing. I had to show up with all of that, plus my electric bill, my paystub, and my car registration.

But because New York is stupid, my car registration does not count as proof of NY residency, but my paystub, which totally could’ve been faked in Microsoft Word, does count a proof of residency. (WTF?)

Since I live in the middle of nowhere I only had to wait 2hrs at the DMV, vs. the long waits seen elsewhere around the country.

 

Comments

430 responses to “Thursday Afternoon Links”

  1. Tres Cool

    Super gonorrhea is no match for Super AIDS….so South Park says

    1. Tres Cool

      Now hit my mother f’in Theme Music !

      1. Tres Cool

        I meant to add Super AIDS.

        1. PBRstreetgang

          Soup or AIDS??
          Definitely go with the soup.

        2. Oh my god – the new added Wikipedia BS about AIDS on a South Park YouTube video is killing me.

          YouTube takes themselves way too seriously.

  2. mexican sharpshooter

    588 uncounted votes were discovered in Ohio.

    Yeah, this somehow got more entertaining.

    County election officials have yet to finish counting late-arriving mail-in ballots or provisional ballots provided to voters at the polls when their eligibility wasn’t clear.

    “This is a routine part of the process,” Caskey said. “This is why we emphasize that election-night results are unofficial.”

    Thomas County Clerk Shelly Harms said it’s possible that her handwriting on the tally sheet faxed to the secretary of state’s office was bad enough in the rush of primary-night business that the number for Colyer wasn’t clear.

    “They just misread it,” she told The Associated Press.

    1. So… are Hillary’s goons now free agents for the DNC since she’s persona non grata?

      1. Floridaman

        Persona non grata my butt, she will be the nominee again.

        1. We should be so lucky.

    2. Chipwooder

      Also, there was a link on Instapundit claiming that 170 registered voters in OH-12 are……116 years old or older.

      1. AlexinCT

        I bet there was far more fraud than just that…

      2. Via Wiki: “In 2003, the Gerontology Research Group estimated that there were 300–450 living supercentenarians in the world”

        Amazing that so many of them live in the 12th Congressional District of Ohio! There must be something in the water…

        1. You should see the edit wars over the “oldest living people” pages and the recent deaths pages.

        2. JaimeRoberto

          Who knew that Ohio was a blue zone?

      3. Hyperion

        How many of them are still alive?

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Holy shit, I usually assume Republicans will never do a thing, but this is just so blatant!

  3. R C Dean

    I use USAA for our insurance. I left once for a slightly lower car insurance rate, but was back a year later when the other company jacked it up.

    Their service used to be positively legendary, but has fallen off a little and is now more fairly described as exceptionally good for the industry.

    1. We’ve been on USAA since 1991 or so. House, cars, everything. We like it. I just wish they carried business insurance.

    2. mikey

      We had them for years and they were great, but they started going down hill. We dropped when they gave us the same routine WebDom got

      1. Gustave Lytton

        We dropped USAA when they wouldn’t insure my wife’s house after we got married.

        I still have them for some financial products, but they’re more and more like just another large financial/insurance company. The shift happened when they started opening up membership, pursuing growth at any price and advertising the shit out of their previous reputation.

  4. PBRstreetgang

    The wildfire dude’s name is “Forrest”? Seriously?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      He was Pretty busy causing ALL the fires in the State, plenty of driving too

    2. Tundra

      He was pretty competent, though. Burned out 12 neighbors without torching his own place.

      1. PBRstreetgang

        That is pretty impressive. I’ll give him that.

      2. AlexinCT

        Great way to increase your property value in the short run..

  5. Amazingly, at my license renewal in June, I was in and out in 15 minutes.

    1. Tundra

      Same. I went Monday andI didn’t even have time to fill out the form completely before they called my number. The chick that helped me was cheerful, efficient and friendly.

      I kept looking around for the hidden cameras.

    2. Chipwooder

      Your state doesn’t have online renewal?

      1. Tundra

        Tabs, yes. DL, no.

        1. Chipwooder

          Despite my shame at being a DMV functionary, I do attempt to salvage a scrap of self-respect via ours offering almost all renewals online. In fact, you have to pay an extra $5 fee for not renewing your vehicle registration online, in order to keep people out of locations and keep lines shorter.

          1. Tundra

            What about eye test and photo?

          2. Chipwooder

            I think it’s every other renewal for those, so that gives you 16 years in between visits until you turn 75 years old. At that point, you can’t renew a license remotely any more.

            However, since REAL ID has been broached, next year every single fucking person has to come in to get the REAL compliant license. It’s going to be an absolute nightmare. You’re not required to have it, but then you can’t use your DL as ID to board a plane or train, or enter a federal building.

          3. DEG

            I think it’s every other renewal for those, so that gives you 16 years in between visits until you turn 75 years old

            That’s how NH does it, though I think renewals are every five years.

          4. But you don’t have to use it to vote.

          5. Tundra

            Four years here. State has to keep up it’s reputation, after all.

            /tax cattle

          6. Chipwooder

            DEG – something interesting I learned through a study I’ve been working on this summer: NH is the only state in the union that doesn’t require liability insurance in order to drive a car.

          7. DEG

            NH is the only state in the union that doesn’t require liability insurance in order to drive a car.

            Not quite true.

          8. Chipwooder

            Well, yeah, but if you have a clean driving record in NH you don’t have to carry insurance. You do in every other state.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Florida has online renewal but when I renew mine next (my birthday next year) I have to go in with all the documents they require for the idiocy known as Real ID.

        I haven’t stepped foot in a DMV office since I moved down here in ’05.

        1. Chipwooder

          Blame Uncle Sugar for that one. In VA we tried to hold out against REAL ID for as long as possible but they put their foot down about it last year.

        2. Florida Man

          My sister got the new license. It’s radically different from the current DL.

      3. I had to do a new eye test and get a new drivers’ license photo. The old one was about 20 years old.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      Strange. In my backwards red state, I did it online. Once it hit the bank the state mailed my tag.

    4. I could’ve renewed online if I already had a Real ID, but apparently you can’t upgrade to one online.

  6. invisible finger

    Every insurance company jacks up the premiums on existing policies. Have a new policy quoted and it always results in savings, don’t even have to switch companies.

  7. Tundra

    Take that, flat-earthers.

    It won’t matter. Those folks are uh… committed to the bit.

    1. Why so circumspect?

  8. Did anyone post this earlier?: https://twitter.com/esaagar/status/1027246924871741440

    DOJ announces charges against a previously deported illegal immigrant from Honduras who raped a child after being released by the City of Philadelphia because of its sanctuary status

    1. AlexinCT

      Go dancing Philly Sanctuary city mayor!

    2. R C Dean

      DOJ needs to announce charges against the people responsible for the sanctuary status and the release of the illegal. I’ve gone foggy about the details, but its illegal to house or transport a known illegal, and a sanctuary city that deliberately releases illegals to keep them away from ICE breaks that law.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        It’s also felonious conspiracy against the United States when one conspires to distribute and traffic controlled substances. Should good libertarians advocate for the DOJ to charge the governors of pot sanctuary states with interfering and/or obstructing with the lawful functions of the DEA?

        1. R C Dean

          If they actually do interfere with or obstruct the DEA, sure. Having medpot or funpot laws on the books is still a ways from that. States not arresting people for pot is not a conspiracy against the US. Taxing pot is also not illegal; I seem to recall that at one time, at least, a lot of states had draconian taxes on pot (even, if memory serves, in the form of a tax stamp) while pot was or is illegal there. Licensing pot growers/distributors starts looking more like being part of a conspiracy, I suppose.

          Not every sanctuary city is aiding and abetting illegals, either, but some of them. It depends on how they go about being a sanctuary city. Passively not informing the feds about an illegal they have arrested is legal, as far as I can tell. Taking affirmative steps (such as early release to avoid ICE taking custody) I think is illegal.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            If they actually do interfere with or obstruct the DEA, sure.

            I have no quarrel with one who bites the bullet and is consistent in his principles. Unfortunately, too many libertarians play the my cow is more sacred than yours game too often nowadays. That having been said, I understand your argument about passive vs. active, yet, we both know that interference and obstruction can be wielded by the Preets of the world as a cudgel due to their vagueness. I yield to your expertise, but if I understand correctly, there is already precedent for refusal to assist a police officer as obstruction. That may sound like a stretch, but, again, we both know that there is a concerted movement on both sides of the aisle to eradicate all vestiges of federalism and state’s rights from the legal system.

            One may not agree with the motivations and actions of immigration sanctuary cities, but we also have to be careful about where some advocated solutions might lead. This is my same opinion concerning voter ID laws. Is the de facto creation of a national ID in the hands of our turnkey totalitarian surveillance state worth “owning the libs”? I have deep skepticism it is.

          2. R C Dean

            I’d have to look at the statutes in question to see if they really support violations based on passive non-cooperation. The states have a few tools that we don’t, in the form of SCOTUS precedent that allows them to not cooperate with the feds that aren’t available to us.

            A truly federal system with distributed authority is tricky to define (look how badly even the sainted Founder botched that one with the vague 10th Amendment) and even trickier to maintain as those with power always seek to consolidate and expand their power. In my view, the death knell of the state v federal checks and balances was rung when the states went to popular election of Senators. The Senate was intended to be the branch of government that represented and defended the states against an overweening federal government, not merely a variation on the House of Representatives with longer terms and bigger egos.

            Federal systems with distributed authority are always a balancing act. We don’t want power consolidated in DC, but I also don’t think we want the states free to do whatever the fuck they want. To me, passive non-cooperation v active obstruction is a good place to draw the line. Of course, given the gross imbalance in our current system, the states have no real recourse (other than the federal courts*) to hold the line. Is it subject to abuse? Sure. Would a system where the states could defy any federal law (including laws to preserve the rights of citizens) with impunity be better? I don’t think so.

            *stop laughing

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Well, if he weren’t arrested in the first place, he may not have been in the position to rape that exact child at that time.

      But how the fuck is he “currently serving a sentence between 8 and 20 years in state prison”? Does just like, judge and no one else know how long he’s actually supposed to be there, and it’s a form of psychological punishment? Sentences are given for a set period, which may get reduced later, no?

  9. Certified Public Asshat

    Headline not what you think:

    More Like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Derangement Syndrome Am I Right

    It’s in establishment Democrats’ best interest to declare Ocasio-Cortez an isolated, narrow case rather than the face of a new and growing movement. The same goes for plenty of mainstream media outlets, who were so keen to crown her as Bernie Sanders’ heir apparent—I love a good narrative!—only to then try to knock her down. These people hate Ocasio-Cortez for many of the same reasons they hate Sanders: She doesn’t do things their way, she’s got young voters excited about her way, and she’s helped put pressure on other Democratic candidates to move left. The vociferousness of the response—from the same crowd that decries “infighting” in the party—shows how big of a threat Ocasio-Cortez and other left wingers are to the party’s elites. They should be very, very scared.

    Libs hating on libs.

    1. Or, perhaps the media, propaganda arm of the DNC that they are, realize that room-temperature IQ, extra chromosome socialists are electoral poison. As someone who wants to see the Donks marginalized as much as possible, I hope Pol Twat keeps getting elevated as the standard bearer.

      1. Tonio

        Although not normally a fan of name-calling, “Pol Twat” is pretty damned clever.

        1. Raston Bot

          Gulag Barbie was top of my list until Pol Twat. that is gold.

          1. Tundra

            Karla Marx still cracks me up.

          2. R C Dean

            Still holding out for Hotsy Trotsky, but She Guevara is my strong second choice. The vulgarity of Pol Twat isn’t helpful in our shared project of mocking her.

          3. Chipwooder

            Seconded. It’s funny, but counterproductive. I’m going with my creation* of Karla Marx!

            *Sure, I was almost certainly not the first person to write it…..however, I hadn’t seen anyone coin it yet when I did, so I’m claiming authorship anyway. It’s mine, do you hear me? MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!

          4. Count Potato

            Trotsky sounds too Eastern European.

      2. Tundra

        I don’t think they have a fucking clue what to do. That’s why they always run back to the familiar.

        The Democratic Party’s New Litmus Test: Gun Control

        During her 2010 U.S. House campaign, Democrat Ann Kirkpatrick of Arizona highlighted her “A” rating from the National Rifle Association. She opposed gun-control measures and regaled constituents in her largely rural district with stories of hunting with her father.

        In 2018, Ms. Kirkpatrick is running to return to the House espousing a gun-control platform that is among the country’s most aggressive. She is for universal background checks and a ban on guns described as assault weapons. She disavows her longstanding position as a “proud gun owner,” saying she gave away the hunting rifles inherited from her father. “I do not have any guns in my home,” she says.

        Democrats running for Congress in 2018 are pushing a muscular gun-control agenda that represents a wholesale repositioning on the hot-button issue. In this year’s midterm election, gun control has become a party litmus test from which few dissent, alongside abortion rights and support for same-sex marriage.

        Why are they so comfortable playing this tired card? I’m glad you asked!

        Parkland students Emma González and David Hogg now have more Twitter followers each than the NRA. The two, with funding from Mr. Bloomberg and celebrities including George Clooney, sparked student-led demonstrations calling for gun control. That momentum has led 20 states to enact measures such as expanding background checks and limiting high-capacity magazines since February, according to Third Way, a centrist Democratic think tank.

        See? They can’t lose!

        1. Chipwooder

          Oh shit, they have more TWITTER FOLLOWERS? We’re fuckin’ doomed.

          1. R C Dean

            I’m sure Twitter has been vigilant in ensuring that all of their followers are genuine, bona fide, distinct human beings.

        2. Lachowsky

          Gun control has always been a winning issue. This is known

          1. Suthenboy

            Bingo.

            I saw the ‘funded by Bloomberg’ bit. They bought them.

        3. Suthenboy

          Ann. Richards.

        4. Raston Bot

          she gave away all her dad’s rifles that she used to shoot when they hunted together?

          cunt.

          1. Suthenboy

            Of course she didn’t. She gave them to her children or something like that.

          2. spqr2008

            My grandma auctioned off all except 2 of my step grandpa’s rifles, much to the chagrin of my uncle, who wanted the keep a few to teach his boys how to hunt. My uncle is a huge lefty, and part of the deep State (he is a Manager for traveling exhibits at The Smithsonian), and I’m sure my aunt wouldn’t have liked the boys hunting, but hell, if he’d had the guns ehen I was a kid, he could’ve taken me, my brother, and his other nephew hunting with him.

      3. Bob

        She’s easy to ridicule for stupidity and the left hates being ridiculed. Especially for stupidity.

        However, they may have lost control to do much about it. Their coalition of minorities and otherkin means their leadership is now partly comprised of lunatics. Purging them is racism, and probably a bunch of other isms.

        1. R C Dean

          Apparently, “rationalism” is on the list of verboten isms.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      They’re not wrong, though. She did get the rough media treatment by Democrat standards. I’d bet your average journo wants her kind in charge about as much as I do.

    3. Hyperion

      She Guevara? She’s sooo like last week. Dances with Beavers, she’s so hot right now!

      Oh wait… I just read somewhere that Dances with Beavers is on her way out now and today’s face of the Dems has tattoos and a purple heart. Problem is, we haven’t giver her a name yet…

    4. Hyperion

      “They should be very, very scared.”

      Obviously they should be.

  10. Bikinis: The next best thing to naked.*

    http://archive.is/i4Hx3

    1, 6, 15, 23, 25, 36, 41, 50, 52, 55, 57, 70, 76, 86, 94…

    and the best for last 98.

    *assuming hot chick that you actually want to see naked

  11. Clean white girl: Would, in spite of the strabismus.

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      Those are just drunk eyes.

    2. AlmightyJB

      For sure would, before her hard life catches up to her.

  12. “pesticide containers should never be used in food preparation”

    A former health minister had to *remind* people of this fact? Like, it happens often?

    1. AlexinCT

      If you gots to remind people…

  13. Rebel Scum

    Vice President Mike Pence Says Space Force Will Launch By 2020

    The Vice President, speaking to the Defense Department, told military leaders that the President has already begun the process of obtaining an official approval for the United States Space Force, which will be an offensive and defensive force against other countries seeking to conquer the space around planet Earth.

    Russia, China, and North Korea, the Vice President explained, “bring new weapons of war into space itself,” making an American Space Force, distinctly separate from the United States Air Force which is currently responsible for handling military operations in the upper atmosphere and beyond.

    There will even, reportedly, be an “elite” force of its own within the Space Force — a sort of “Space SEALs,” as Slate described it.

    Dibs on call-sign “Red Five”.

    1. Tres Cool

      Seeking approval from whom ?

      1. R C Dean

        I’d say Congress, but they seem pretty irrelevant to just about everything these days.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Thankfully, there is some legal precedent on such matters.

          The majority, led by Justice Antonin Scalia, reasoned: “This question is very simple. We must look to the text of the Constitution. That text is clear, by its absence. The Constitution, despite establishing the Army and Naval Forces, says absolutely nothing about the Air Force. Our inquiry must end there.”

          In a concurring opinion, Justice Kennedy elaborated, “the Constitution is remarkably silent about any militarized air units. And it is not as if the drafters of the Constitution were unaware of flight. Lighter than air and dirigible technology were around at the time the constitution was written. If the founders knew about these things and did not enumerate Congress with the power to create an Air Force, we must assume that this is a power retained by the States as per the 10th Amendment.”

          1. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            Funny, but not wrong. Pretty sure we’d be better off strategically if the USAAC had stayed where it belongs.

          2. Lackadaisical

            Before I saw Kennedy join the opinion I almost thought it was real (I hadn’t clicked the link… who does that??)

            Then I remembered that Scalia wasn’t that radical anyway.

          3. R C Dean

            That “opinion” pretty much says what the consensus was back in the day. It was called the “Army Air Force” and was not a separate branch of the service.

    2. a sort of “Space SEALs,” as Slate described it.

      They’re never gonna survive unless they get a little crazy.

      1. CPRM

        You’re like a growing addiction I can’t deny.

      2. Rebel Scum

        They just have to be adept at nuking things from orbit.

        1. So Mr. Lizard?

    3. CampingInYourPark

      David Burge
      ‏@iowahawkblog
      Your Space Force name is your favorite sound effect + favorite home appliance
      I am Splat Electrolux

      1. Raston Bot

        i’m Douche Whirlpool!

      2. A Leap at the Wheel

        My Space Force name would be Twisting Steel Speed Queen.

      3. PBRstreetgang

        BOOM Dyson.

        I dig it.

      4. Private Chipperbot

        Pew Pew Samgung to the rescue!

      5. Tundra

        Fart Blender, reporting for duty!

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Duuuude, you aren’t supposed to use your real name.

          1. Tundra

            Amazing coincidence!!

      6. Moist Slap Dremel

      7. R C Dean

        Sproing Dacor.

      8. Old Man With Candy

        Zap Kitchenaid.

        Nah, that doesn’t have the right ring to it.

      9. Chipwooder

        We don’t need to do that. Just pick your favorite David Ryder nickname. Rip Slagpeck! Dirk Steakface! Bolt Vanderhuge!

      10. mexican sharpshooter

        Bang LG

        This doesn’t really work.

        1. bacon-magic

          Long lost bro!

      11. bacon-magic

        Pew Pew LG

      12. Yoink Toastmaster

      13. Nephilium

        Schlicht Brewkettle.

      14. Tres Cool

        Shtoink* Pressure Cooker just doesnt flow.

        *Yes, Im a fan of Don Martin and his use of onomatopoetics.

      15. kinnath

        Blast Spatula

        1. Mojeaux

          +1 Spatula City

      16. wdalasio

        Schplock Waring, at your service.

      17. Florida Man

        BAM! Bosch.

      18. Rebel Scum

        Laser Weber

  14. Count Potato

    “And speaking of space this astronaut says he saw an alien-like creature once.”

    “I called to the ground to ask what it could be and it was ice that had broke off the Freon hoses.”

    1. R C Dean

      Suuuure it was.

  15. Tonio

    Your daily shitshow of government incompetence and media not asking the obvious questions. Starving children rescued from New Mexico compound, possibly being trained for school shooting. Derp warning: CNBC

    https://www.cnbc.com/2018/08/08/man-training-kids-for-school-shooting-court-documents-say.html

    1. R C Dean

      Not gonna give them the clicks, but lemme guess:

      The real problem is the guns at the compound, not the Islamonutter jihadi running the place.

      1. Tonio

        Religious affiliation was conspicuously absent. They couldn’t do anything about the name, though.

        I wonder if the authorities basically ignored the complaints from neighbors and landlord for fear of bias accusations.

        It wasn’t until the kids got a “we need food and water” message that anyone did anything.

        1. Raston Bot

          yeah, once the 4-year old died, that mess had to be cleaned up.

          1. Rescuing them was still racist and islamophobic.

        2. If the religious affiliation were there, people wouldn’t be able to blame the NRA.

        3. Heroic Mulatto

          Well, it’s not illegal to be crazy.

          1. C. Anacreon

            Depends on the state (mental and/or geographically)

  16. ChipsnSalsa

    “Middles are used to not getting their own way, and so they become savvy, skillful manipulators,”

    My 9 yo daughter would be a good example.

    1. Michael

      My ex was a middle, and everything suddenly makes sense now.

  17. A Leap at the Wheel

    I don’t know how deep in the actual-white-supremacists-kool-aid that chick has been drinking, but she sounds like an actual-white-supremacist-as-they-use-the-term, not white-supremacist-as-academics-use-the-term. The males get all the play, but I found the women to be even more disturbing and terrifying. And poorly understood outside their own circle. But the female obsession with racial purity is weird and different than the way men talk about it.

    Hearing that language mixed in with sorority-girl talk is really weird.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        I’m having a slow day. I don’t get this comment. I’m going to go eat a candy bar and see if my brain will start working when I come back.

        1. I recommend extensively googling it either at work or in front of your small children. With the volume turned way up.

          1. DEG

            Or running pornhub searches.

        2. Black/Black/Chinese?

          Breast/Breast/Clit?

          1. R C Dean

            British Broadcasting Company. They have their own satellite channels and everything here.

          2. So you’re attracted to Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy?

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Even Mr. Humphries was interested!

    1. Chipwooder

      +1 Faizura Balk in American History X

    2. Bob

      It’s odd that it’s a national story.

  18. Rebel Scum

    ride share drivers.

    It’s not “sharing”, it’s a service you pay for.

  19. Chipwooder

    I have to say, that WV judge impeaching story is quite possibly the greatest news story I’ve ever read. It’s the exact opposite of a nutpunch.

  20. Tres Cool

    Sadly, I wasnt aware of this holiday yesterday. Otherwise, my neighbors would have even more reason to dislike me.

    1. Count Potato

      What if you toss in a cat and an old drum machine?

    1. Chipwooder

      Not REAL socialism, no

      1. Tres Cool

        Cause it hasn’t been tried, amirite ?

      2. Certified Public Asshat

        Regarding attempts to tie socialism to poverty, “we would point out that we live in the wealthiest nation to ever have existed,” Bennett notes, “and its wealth isn’t spread out. It’s concentrated. You can’t compare that to Russia, a very poor, feudal state that rapidly industrialized, or a place like Venezuela, where its economy was entirely based on oil, and when the oil prices tanked, their economy tanked. Those aren’t things we have to worry about in America. If we move to a system that’s meant for the many and not the few members of the economic elite, it’s not going to impoverish the wealthiest nation in the world.”

        Yep.

        1. R C Dean

          we would point out that we live in the wealthiest nation to ever have existed,” Bennett notes, “and its wealth isn’t spread out.

          Yeah, you might want to take a minute and think about that.

          1. Tundra

            Retardation, thy name is proggie.

        2. “it’s not going to impoverish the wealthiest nation in the world”

          Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence; especially when all existing evidence directly contradicts your premise.

        3. Suthenboy

          It isnt possible to be that stupid so i am going with ‘liar’.

        4. leonadasiv

          Argentina used to be the 4th wealthiest country in the world. ..

        5. Akira

          a place like Venezuela, where its economy was entirely based on oil, and when the oil prices tanked, their economy tanked.

          There are plenty of other countries that have almost no industry besides oil production… How come they didn’t plunge into starvation and appalling shortages of basic consumer goods?

    2. The Last American Hero

      There’s some money in Boulder. Boy are those people gonna be pissed when the socialists take their shit to fund the utopia.

  21. Count Potato

    “And WebDom links wouldn’t be complete without a product you need. In this case, 60lbs of cheese, which gives further credence to the idea that Amazon sells everything.”

    I’m guessing that was from OMWC’s browser, since “Customers who viewed this item also viewed” a Blu-ray of an 11-year-old Anna Paquin.

  22. CPRM

    The new google earth even lets you zoom out and look at the surface of other planets, it’s kind of neat, but as you can guess the resolution on the other heavenly bodies isn’t too great. NASA iS HiaDING The GOod PcItREs!!11!!

  23. Tres Cool

    Today I learned…..what ‘strabismus’ means.

    Thanks Q !

      1. Tres Cool

        One eye lookin for me, the other eye lookin at me!

  24. So, what is Super-Gonorrhea’s alter ego? Like when he jumps into a phone booth to transform, does he just take his glasses off like Clark Kent?

    1. Tres Cool

      He’s just a wart.

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      Chris Clap.

    3. Florida Man

      I thought Winston’s Mom just stepped into the phone booth and lifted her skirt.

    4. Chipwooder

      Charlie Sheen

    5. SugarFree

      Clark Kunt.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Jesus, you just drop gems like that here instead of saving them for your works?

        SMH…

  25. Spudalicious

    I hear you about DMV. The website was down when I needed to renew the registration on one of our vehicles, so I tootled on down to DMV. It actually took me 20 minutes to get called to a window. 20 minutes. Fucking California transplants.

    Con crews are the hardest working people on the fireline. I mean these guys bust their ass. A little cash in the pocket and a day on the line gets a day off your time.

  26. DEG

    I had State Farm for a while and wasn’t impressed. I found out AAA offered insurance cheaper, and moved. I haven’t looked into Geico.

    And speaking about my license, I had to renew my license, and because of the RealID bullshit, it’s worse than ever. I already gave them my social security card, birth certificate, marriage certificate, etc., when I got the damned thing. I had to show up with all of that, plus my electric bill, my paystub, and my car registration.

    In NH we have the option of a REAL ID compliant driver’s license or a non-REAL ID compliant license. I expect eventually the state will cave and we will have to get a REAL ID compliant license. I compared the list of documents required for the initial issue of a REAL ID compliant license and the initial issue of a non-REAL ID compliant NH license. The difference is one document, which if I remember correctly is one extra proof of residency. NH requires only one, REAL ID requires two. Otherwise, the documentation requirements are the same.

    1. Lachowsky

      I declined to get the real ID a year ago when I had to renew. I plan to continue to do so.

      1. DEG

        That’s what I did. A renewal is supposed to be pretty easy in NH even if you have to go into the DMV. Bring your old license, take an eye test, get your picture taken, pay the fee, done. You only have to go into the DMV every other renewal, the others can be done on-line. This one, I had to go into the DMV because the previous one I did on-line.

        I picked the worst time of the month to go. End of the month. It was a two and a half hour wait.

    2. Chipwooder

      Starting in October, we are only issuing REAL compliant licenses, but if you have a non-compliant one, you’re not required to replace it with one that is compliant. However, your non-compliant DL will be much less useful as a form of ID.

    3. CPRM

      Renewed my WI licence a few months ago, didn’t get the real ID one because I didn’t have all the shit that they wanted with me. They said that means in something like 2 years I won’t be allowed to fly or enter military bases. Haven’t done either in 15 years so not something I’m concerned with.

  27. Rebel Scum

    “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl”

    1) WOOD
    2) Hope she learns to be responsible while getting white-girl-wasted.

  28. Count Potato

    “Lindsay Lohan blasts ‘weak’ #MeToo victims who don’t go to police

    Addressing the #MeToo movement in Hollywood, Lindsay slammed those who did not report their experiences to the police, and make it into a ‘real thing’.

    She said: ‘I’m going to really hate myself for saying this, but I think by women speaking against all these things, it makes them look weak when they are very strong women.

    ‘You have these girls who come out, who don’t even know who they are, who do it for the attention. That is taking away from the fact that it happened.’”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6043603/Lindsay-Lohan-turns-heads-plunging-swimsuit-films-new-reality-series-Mykonos.html

    1. Chipwooder

      She doesn’t look quite as much like a 50 year old crackwhore anymore, so….progress, I guess.

      1. DEG

        She was once good-looking. However, even though she has improved from her crackwhore look, I’m still going to pass.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        I’d just think of her in the sweater she wears in Mean Girls and go to town.

        1. ^^^This guy gets it.

          1. Tundra

            Clearly not.

          2. Private Chipperbot

            I’d take a bath in Listerine after.

          3. Tres Cool

            Kinky.

      2. Tonio

        Don’t do it, Q. I hear she’s like the Fort Detrick of STDs.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      Man, if she could phrase that in a coherent manner, it might be ballsiest thing a Hollywood critter said since Kurt Russel outed himself as a libertarian.

      IF!

      Cause the word salad she put out, I’m not sure she’s saying what I think she’s saying.

    3. Grumbletarian

      Forced to grovel for forgiveness in 4… 3… 2…

    4. Turns heads?

      Did they vomit, too?

  29. kinnath

    Regarding Beer — In an hour or so, I will head off to pick up a box at FedEx office that contains four bottles of Consecration plus a few other oddball sour ales.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Dam thicc.

    2. Lackadaisical

      MMhmmm.

      Delish.

  30. DEG

    Try a beer brewed by the monks of the Saint Sixtus Abbey in Belgium.

    I’ve had some Westvleteren beer.

    Unless the rules have changed, except for a special batch brewed to fund repairs of the monastery, the monks put a condition on beer sales that the seller not resell them. The monks don’t enforce this but try to prevent it by restricting sales. They failed. You can occasionally find Westvleteren beer for sale in various places in the Low Countries.

    1. Florida Man

      Why do they care if you resell?

      1. DEG

        Ask them not me.

        1. Florida Man

          I thought you might know.

          1. DEG

            I don’t know their justification. I just know they have a blurb on the receipt that says something to the effect of, “By buying this, you agree not to resell it.”

            It probably doesn’t help that you have to buy by the case.

          2. Nephilium

            They’re trying to stop the grey market from existing. Because they sell the beer for ~$4/bottle (based on last purchase I heard about), while it will sell for ~$30/bottle on the grey market. When I had it, I just considered it adding to the sinfulness of the beer by meaning someone lied to a monk for me to drink it. To try a beer that’s damned close, easier to get, and a lot cheaper, go for the St. Bernardus Abt 12. They were the ones who brewed for Westvleteren while it was being repaired.

      2. A Leap at the Wheel

        Thomas Aquinas’ Just Price theory is still pretty popular among Catholics. Could be that.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Well then Just Price the thing for resale.

  31. dorvinion

    I’ve read that you should consider changing insurance providers every few years for better rates.

    My wife and I were with State Farm for about 12 years.
    Last year I shopped around town and managed to reduce the rate for our house and two cars by a considerable amount. An hour of time saved us a good 1000 each year.
    Well worth the effort.

  32. Count Potato

    “Trolls demand Muslim Indian actress Sara Khan change religion after posting bikini pictures

    Sara Khan, 29, a popular television actress, uploaded snaps of herself taken while on holiday in Goa, India, and Dubai, UAE.

    Many of her followers praised her appearance, however, Ms Khan, who is a Muslim, was also targeted by some who disagreed with her choice of outfit.

    Fellow Muslim Instagram users slammed the fact that she posed snaps of herself in a bikini, and told her she should change religion.”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6043213/Indian-actress-Sara-Khan-attacked-trolls-bikini-pictures.html

    I thought Muslims weren’t allowed to leave Islam?

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      Authority is Islam is very distributed, much more so than in Christianity. Thus there are many different schools of thought with very different rules. For nearly any proposition, you can find some other authority that teaches the exact opposite.

      1. Tundra

        So, like Episcopalians, then.

      2. Florida Man

        I’m about a third of the way through the Koran and so far it reads fairly tolerant. Leave nonbelievers alone, keep your oaths, people of the book (Jews Christians) that follow the Torah or gospel are cool, Muhammad is just one of many prophets. Maybe the latter chapters contradict the first.

        1. 7th Century Christianity wasn’t exactly peace-loving and tolerant. Take any of the Abrahamic religions back to their roots and you can create barbarism ( (((we))) were the ones that came up with stoning adulterers after all), but Islamists are the only ones having any success at achieving that.

          1. Chipwooder

            Exactly. The biggest difference between Christianity and Islam is the Reformation.

          2. Pan Zagloba

            But Islam is a lot more like Protestant Christianity than Orthodox/Catholic one!

            No icons, no Pope, The Book as the main authority, no priestly hierarchy, the service must be in a language locals can understand, you don’t need an intermediary between you and God, pray to God not saints/Virgin Mary.

          3. Florida Man

            Right I noticed that. One big issue seems to be the trinity. Don’t pray to Jesus/Holy Spirit, pray directly to God.

          4. A Leap at the Wheel

            Doctrinally, that’s correct. I think Chip’s point was more cultural.

          5. grrizzly

            I found that Michel Houllebecq’s Submission had an interesting discussion of Islam highlighting its modern-as Abrahamic religions go-ideas.

          6. Florida Man

            Thanks Animal. Added to wishlist

          7. Bob

            That’s true, before Martin Luther and his 95 theses Christians were suicide bombing all over the place.

          8. Florida Man

            I haven’t finished reading yet, but I hear so often “Muslims believe X” so I wanted to go straight to the source. I figured I read the Bible, might as well read the others. Is the Torah different than the “Old Testament”?

          9. Pan Zagloba

            IIRC it is slightly different, but you also need to read up on Talmud.

            Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Bibles are also slightly different.

          10. Florida Man

            Are there versions of the Torah like the Bible or only one version like the Koran?

          11. CampingInYourPark

            You read Arabic?

          12. Pan Zagloba

            You’ll have to ask OMWC for that, my first response is that the canon is set, but if Jews like anything more than having a set of precise, determined rules, it’s to argue the minutia of said rules.

            Though all the arguments might have been saved for Talmud.

          13. Florida Man

            You read Arabic?-

            You don’t?

          14. Does it have the Deuterocanonical books?

            In the Russian Orthodox bible, there’s a Psalm 151, which isn’t in western Christian bibles.

          15. Chipwooder

            You’d also need to read the Sunnah for Islam, though.

          16. Torah = Five Books of Moses aka Pentateuch
            Tanakh = Old Testament in totality

            There’s only one version, but many translations, which might be what you’re asking. The different “movements” of Judaism depend heavily on different interpretations of the Halakha as written in the Talmud (which contains Rabbincal interpretation of the Tanakh). For instance, Karaite Judaism (which some Orthodox types would consider heretical) disregard the Talmud altogether as strictly the opinion of Man and not binding.

          17. Florida Man

            Hmm, how about this, which translation is accepted by the most Jews?

          18. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_English_Bible_translations

            I honestly don’t know what we used in Hebrew school. It’s true that the Hebrew always shadows the English and you have to learn enough Hebrew to read from the Torah scroll (which you immediately forget). There isn’t the same contentiousness (if that’s the word) as there is with the Christian Bible.

          19. I thought (((they))) only stoned the adultresses.

          20. Via Wiki:

            “The death penalty for adultery was strangulation, except in the case of a woman who was the daughter of a Kohain (Aaronic priestly caste), which was specifically mentioned by Scripture by the death penalty of burning (pouring molten lead down the throat). Ipso facto, there never was mentioned in Pharisaic or Rabbinic Judaism sources a punishment of stoning for adulterers as mentioned in John 8.”

            I stand corrected. Both were killed, but not by stoning. Also, bad news for slutty priests’ daughters.

        2. Tonio

          It’s an implementation issue, not a design issue.

        3. A Leap at the Wheel

          I’d love to hear your thoughts on it once you finished. Specifically, did you find it worthwhile? Its on my “I wonder if I should read this before I die” list, and I’m not sure if I want to bump it up or not.

          1. Florida Man

            Sure. I should finish by next week.

        4. Count Potato

          So you are saying they are the religion of peace, but not the religion of two-piece.

          1. Bikinis are up thread.

          2. Florida Man

            My understanding is not all Muslims cover themselves. It’s an Arab custom that they tried to make mandatory. *not a theologian

        5. Heroic Mulatto

          Maybe the latter chapters contradict the first.

          This is actually true. There is a difference noted in Islam between the Meccan suwar composed before Muhammad was forced to flee to Medina and those composed after. Almost getting assassinated changed his views on some things.

          1. Florida Man

            Spoilers! Just kidding. Thanks for the heads up. I’ll loo for the transition.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            You should also be aware of the concept of abrogation. Basically, Islamic jurists believe that when there is an apparent contradiction, the newer suwar (the Medinan) supersede the earlier ones. Unfortunately the “when you kill one person, you kill all of humankind” ones are the older ones.

          3. Florida Man

            It’s the immutable word of god, unless he alters the deal.

          4. Pray that he doesn’t alter it further.

          5. Floridaman

            Well he and Vader both liked chopping off hands.

          6. Robert Spencer had an excellent set of annotations for the entire Koran (sura by sura) on one of his websites a number of years ago – a quick search didn’t bring it up, so he may have pulled it when he put out a collected book.

            There’s also this: https://gatesofvienna.net/2018/01/understanding-abrogation-the-koran-in-reverse-chronological-order/

        6. Bob

          Any later revelation that contradicts an earlier one abrogates the earlier one. However, if I recall the Quran is not in chronological. There are other sources to reference when Mohammad said those things and under what context.

    1. Raston Bot

      damn all the kids were from the same family of that crazy ass NYC imam.

      1. Amish do have a lot of children.

    2. Tonio

      Damn. Thanks for the update.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      I refuse to believe it. Universe is not that well organized!

  33. Rebel Scum

    super gonorrhoea sti outbreak strain untreatable australia

    Everything in Australia is trying to kill you.

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      If it doesn’t ambush you by falling out of a tree, its not even worth a mention.

      1. R C Dean

        STEVE SMITH FALL OUT OF TREE AND AMBUSH YOU. AND BY AMBUSH, MEAN . . . .

    2. DEG

      While hiking in Australia, I heard something rustle in the brush near me. I stopped and saw a snake poke its head out of the brush. It simply sat there watching me. I continued on my way, giving it a wide berth.

      I am still alive.

  34. invisible finger
    1. I didn’t see the name CB Bucknor in that article.

  35. Count Potato

    “Gay teen kicked out of home will pay $0 to attend Georgetown

    JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) —

    After raising nearly $130,000 to cover tuition, the gay Florida valedictorian who says his parents kicked him out will pay nothing to go to college this fall.

    News outlets report Georgetown University adjusted 18-year-old Seth Owen’s financial aid package, reducing his expected out-of-pocket contribution from $20,000 to $0.”

    https://wjla.com/news/local/gay-teen-kicked-out-pay-0-attend-georgetown

    “I’m not gay, but $20K is $20K.”

    1. invisible finger

      He’s 18. He should be kicked out of the house.

    2. Tres Cool

      I now have a new plan to fund Tres Version 2.0 ‘s college.

      “Just tell them you’re gay, I have a MAGA hat, and I threw you out….”

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        The Tres Cool Memorial Rough Trade Scholarship will be your legacy.

      2. Shouldn’t that be Quatro Cool?

        1. Tres Cool

          that’s far too cool

    3. Take that money and invest it. Much better than getting a degree in SJW Activist Studies.

    4. invisible finger

      So what happens to the 130K?

      1. R C Dean

        “What $130K?”

  36. Tundra

    HOW KATE UPTON SAVED JUSTIN VERLANDER’S CAREER

    I clicked on this story to make fun of it, but it’s quite good.

    1. She has a magic vagina.

    2. invisible finger

      I thought it was due to Flonase. TV lied to me again!

    1. I’d buy that.

      1. Tundra

        #metoo

    2. I don’t think they can sell it in Quebec. It’s not French enough.

  37. bacon-magic

    Had similar thing happen with State Farm… my agent got me reinstated. Human interactions are still helpful.

  38. Sensei

    For personal lines insurance one of my criteria is how well they pay claims. Rule of thumb is the mutual insurers are better, but if possible try do some research. Usually they are worse on Homeowners’ than Personal Auto.

    SF, GEICO, Progressive and Allstate are the 800 pound gorillas in personal auto. Allstate being my least favorite.

    In my past life I’ve dealt with the C-Suite of all of the above except GEICO.

    Saving a few hundred a year may not be worth it when an insurer doesn’t pay a claim to your satisfaction and/or non renews you.

  39. Rebel Scum

    Michael Moore is still around.

    “Donald Trump is an evil genius. He has no intention of leaving the White House. Whenever he hears that another country has a president for life, he perks up and thinks, ‘I like the sound of that!’ And he has an obedient political party that holds every seat of power backing him up,” Moore said.

    The majority of Americans agree with me on the issues. I’m part of the majority. Our choir is much bigger than Trump’s choir or Fox News’ choir.

    Unfortunately, our choir is out of tune, and it’s hard to hear our voices through all the sobbing and despair. That all ends on Sept. 21. The choir needs a song to sing. Once we come together in beautiful harmony, the Trump crime family will be prosecuted, law and order will be restored, we’ll have Medicare for All and we’ll declare that “Game of Thrones” must remain on the air for at least three more seasons.”

    Um…ok. And point of interest, it is your leftist cohorts that are facilitating the breakdown of law and order.

    1. Get over yourself fatty.

      Go have another cheeseburger and take a nap.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        And if he ends up with heart disease, he can get treatment from the glorious Cuban healthcare system!

        (the one for the elites though. Not the one for most of the populace.)

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      we’ll declare that “Game of Thrones” must remain on the air for at least three more seasons

      Only if GRRM kills you off.

  40. Tundra

    This is pretty damn cool:

    https://q1043.iheart.com/content/2018-08-08-history-channel-show-finds-aerosmiths-first-tour-van/

    After receiving a tip about the van by another local, Wolfe and Fritz contacted their friend, Black Keys guitarist Dan Auerbach, who in turn contacted Aerosmith’s Joe Perry. Perry then called former Aerosmith guitarist Ray Tabano — who lives near where the van was spotted — and Tabano verified its authenticity and location.

    The green 1964 International Harvester Metro is emblazoned on one side with Aerosmith’s early logo.

    1. BakedPenguin

      Busted link.

    2. BakedPenguin
      1. Tundra

        Thanks! 25k seems a little steep, though, doesn’t it?

        1. R C Dean

          You’d think somebody from Aerosmith would buy it and restore it. Mere mortals like us can’t even comprehend the memories that must have for them.

          1. Mad Scientist

            I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest most of the band barely remembers there was a van at all.

          2. Tundra

            I’d send a hazmat team in first.

        2. BakedPenguin

          To put it mildly – it’s a lot more than I’d pay for it.

  41. Juvenile Bluster

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/ny-metro-anna-chambers-served-papers-20180809-story.html#

    tl;dr: 18 at the time, now 19 year old girl was raped by two cops (according to the cops, they just had consensual sex with a handcuffed woman in their custody. Apparently they can do that under NY state law (and 35 other states)), is now getting harassed by a “process server” who says he’s from the Sheriff’s Office (and apparently there is a NY County Sheriff. Who knew?)

    1. Fucking pigs.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      That’s messed up.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      they can do that under NY state law (and 35 other states)

      Because there isn’t a specifically worded law banning sex by a police officer with an arrestee? Because using force, or the threat of force, to have sex or other intimate acts is a felony in almost all 50 states. I’d say all, but I’m sure there’s one holdout that makes coerced foreplay a misdemeanor.

      1. R C Dean

        Its not specifically prohibited by a statute that says “cops can’t have sex with arrestees”. Sad that such a law is needed, but here we are. And yes, if this wasn’t consensual (and how could it be?) its rape even if it was cops.

    4. R C Dean

      She’s got a legit complaint, not only on the utter assholishness of the process server, but because the dickhead defense attorney is serving her personally with a subpoena for photos of her wrists. You don’t serve parties with subpoenas; you serve their attorneys. If those photos exist, then I’m sure the prosecutors have them; if not, then the prosecutors should be fired and new ones appointed.

  42. Raston Bot

    another unhinged Leftist professor assaults someone..

    https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11204

    1. Well, after the bike lock guy got a slap on the wrist, why wouldn’t he?

      If only there were a law, made of iron if you will, about getting more of what you reward…

      1. Also, big internet tough guy, “fucking fight me” has to ambush and sucker punch his adversary. Tough. as. nails.

        Fucking pussy.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        He’s not as likely to get a sympathetic ear in Indianapolis I would think.

    2. kinnath

      According to multiple witness statements, Professor Matthew Fantastic Loter approached Youtuber Jeremy Hambly from behind at the Indianapolis bar Tin Roof, put Hambly in a headlock, repeatedly punched him, and yelled “I’m going to f***ing kill you.”

      Ability, Intent, Means — good shoot.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      1. “Gaming Professor”?
      2. If his middle name is truly “Fantastic”, he never stood a chance in life.
      3. Tin Roof? Rusted.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        1. “Gaming Professor”?

        We have a game design program at my institution. I like every single one of the faculty there.

    4. Pan Zagloba

      That’s from a week ago, old news, nothing to see here. There was no assault and the guy deserved it anyway. /s

      Disclaimer: I was at GenCon but I missed the assault. The response of the Con was beneath contempt, and they were already on my shit list for having Goddamn Sarkeesian as an Industry Guest of Honor.

  43. Juvenile Bluster

    Of all the dumb political cartoons I’ve seen in my life, this is quite possibly the dumbest.

    https://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/editorial-cartoons/jim-morin/article216344400.html#storylink=hpdigest

    1. Damn those evil bastards for providing abundant, cheap energy to the world! How dare they not let us continue to live in the Dark Ages!

      1. Tundra

        Africa seems to do just fine with dung fires.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Turn off your AC Miami Herald, then I’ll listen.

    2. Florida Man

      Where’s he going to spend the money if he burns the earth?

    3. Pan Zagloba

      God dammit, you retard! (the cartoonist, not JB)

      The Earth is on fire, and the Evil Executive is roasting a marshmallow on that fire that’s labelled “Profits”

      FUCKING HELL, DO YOUR JOB YOU HACK!

    4. Chipwooder

      scroll down and peruse the rest of this guy’s gallery.

  44. Not an Economist

    State Farm has been our car insurance company since my husband and I got married, and we’ve been very happy until two months ago. They had some technical issue in June, and State Farm is shitty at communicating, so we find out a month ago that our car insurance is about to be canceled for non-payment because the June payment never showed up. I call in a panic, reconnect our autopay, which worked flawlessly for 5 years, and pay the bill. Well, last week I just got another cancellation notice because the July payment never showed up because they fucked up the bank account connection.

    My parents had something similar happen to them, only it was on their house. The bank they used was bought out and the address where you were supposed to send the mortgage payments was changed. Only problem was it was changed twice (the second time while my parents were out of the country), so the checks were going to the wrong place. So my sister (who was helping my parents out) called the bank to double check some things, she found out the house was going to be foreclosed in a couple of days. I got a call from her saying if she couldn’t straighten things out, I might have to go down to my parents house the next day and empty it out. Luckily my sister was able to set things straight.

  45. Tres Cool

    *lights Spudalicious signal

  46. Gadfly

    The Atlantic publishes a good article on The Threat Democratic Socialism Poses to Minorities. It is obviously preaching to the choir to this crowd, but it might make a good pass-along to folks who would not be receptive to the same message coming from a deplorable or libertarian source.

    It can be best summarized by it’s closing lines:

    There is a strangeness in watching the demos in every country repeatedly reject what one believes to be just for decades, in favor of what one believes to be monstrously unjust, yet nevertheless believing that if the same demos is put under democratic socialism, it will render reliably just judgments about how an entire society should produce and consume.

    Of course it won’t.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Ah the token non-lunatic at the Atlantic, Friedersdork

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Friedstork.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Tasty?

          1. Tundra

            Kinda gamey.

  47. AlmightyJB

    I had to go to the DMV today to renew my Drivers License. Guess I should feel as bad about standing in line for 45 minutes with air conditioning. Then they to take my picture and tell me they will mail me my license which has never happened before. They always made it on the spot. Damn thing better come in before my vacation cause I don’t want to not get served beer because I have a piece of paper instead of a license.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Shouldn’t feel as bad and No air conditioning. Thanks phone.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Carded? How young are you?

    3. Nephilium

      Ohio just changed the rules this year for the new licenses. No more printing them on the spot because they were “too easy to forge”.

  48. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Damn, y’all make sure to cut the blue light down on your monitors/tablets/phones-I always knew it wasn’t good for sleep but it looks like it’s a prime contributor to macular degeneration:

    https://phys.org/news/2018-08-chemists-blue.html

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Damn Smurfs

      1. Tres Cool

        Guess I picked the wrong week to stop watching smurf pr0n.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Always the wrong week for that

        2. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Careful, that’s a double whammy for your vision.

    2. My optometrist suggested blue light reducing glasses. I have yet to buy them, but I keep meaning to. https://amzn.to/2Mg11Eb

      Then there are these which don’t look yellow. https://shopfelixgray.com

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Bookmarked…gracias.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Do they help with the eyestrain and whatnot or is that part just hype?

          1. Count Potato

            To me they seem to make a big difference.

            The ones I have are also much lighter than the regular pair they replaced, so that could be part of it too.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I like your hair. Cool daddy-o

    3. DEG

      Shit. I’ve got lots of relatives with macular degeneration. I’ve been doing better than them so far.

    4. Tundra

      Late to the party.

      For my computer, I use f.lux

      For my phone: Twilight.

      Both really good.

  49. Nephilium

    To follow up on the rent and home ownership discussion earlier, I found this big steaming pile of derp. It’s complaining about the rental prices in Cleveland, ignoring the suburbs entirely. It includes this lovely minimum wage gem as well:

    However, with an Ohio minimum wage of $8.10 per hour, employees are only able to take away $1,296 per month before taxes, and a two-bedroom apartment costs $1,035 monthly. It’s impossible to afford a two-bedroom apartment while working minimum wage.

    Now you aren’t just entitled to an apartment on minimum wage, but it must be at least a two bedroom apartment.

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      An average apartment with two bedrooms. Wonder what the going price for a 1 bedroom on Euclid goes for these days. Or half a 2 bedroom (the horror – roommates!)

      1. Tres Cool

        I was about to type something similar only using Shaker Hts. as an example…..

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Is Shaker Heights no longer the gheto-adjacent upscale neighborhood I remember?

          1. Tres Cool

            That’s a question for Neph, but I was thinking its more the hipster-esque part of town now.

            My brother moved from Mayfield Hts. to Portage County ages ago, so Im most likely wrong.

          2. Nephilium

            The hipsters are going to Tremont and Ohio City more. And the high rents are most likely due to inflated rents in the downtown area (although I don’t know why you would want to live there, half the city still shuts down at 18:00).

          3. Nephilium

            No, it still is, as is Tremont. But this story was focusing only on Cleveland proper. Hell, you could go the Ohio City area (gentrifying, but still has plenty of shit neighborhoods), anywhere around East 55th (still a shithole), or Lorain east of W. 117th (had a friend who watched people stealing their television from their apartment the week after they moved in).

          4. A Leap at the Wheel

            Yep, sounds like what is what when I GTFO of there.

    2. I’ve done the maths, 90 minutes south of Cleveland and if I had to I could get by on $700 a month, and I have two bedrooms, one is an office, but if I didn’t hate people and could abide a roomie I could cut that down to $500. And I’m not eating ramen and Campbell’s tomato soup either. Living wage is bullshit, people don’t need the latest Iphone and two-hundred channels on a 60″ HDTV, I could work one week a month and make a very comfortable living/ Yes not everyone has my marketable skills but fuck’s sake shelter, clothing, and food are ridiculously affordable, for now, anyway once Trumps isolationist protectionism kicks in who knows, I may have to start working 20 hours a week every week the horror.

      1. Creosote Achilles

        They run articles like this in the Portland fish wrapper too. And it’s a fundamentally dishonest comparison to compare what someone who has an income in the lowest quintile makes to the cost of average housing. What is the cost of housing in the lowest quintile of apartments? Of course poor people can’t afford to live like the median income earner. No shit. It’s a tautology.

    3. Rhywun

      “The city is showing some small signs of recovery. OMG THE HORROR!!”

      #keepclevelandpoor

    4. Creosote Achilles

      What do you know? If you have two people making minimum wage, then $1035/mo for rent is about 40% of combined income. It costs if you want to live above your means.

    5. Hyperion

      “employees are only able to take away $1,296 per month before taxes”

      There’s obviously only one fix, we have to raise taxes. No one needs $1,296 a month.

  50. Yusef drives a Kia

    What is the direction of the wind in Normady France at 6 AM in June? asking for a Friend……
    /ermm

    1. Gustave Lytton

      What color is the boathouse at Hereford? African or European?

    2. Hyperion

      Since France is a socialist utopia, the wind always blows from the same direction, the left, no one needs 4 different kinds of winds.

    3. Ownbestenemy

      Afternoon reports were 15knt NW. There are weather maps you can google

  51. Hyperion

    “A “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl” was arrested”

    Loves horses and America too?

    1. Gustave Lytton

      She’s free rollin’
      Out into the intersection
      And he’s a good cop,
      because he didn’t even hit on her
      And she’s a drunk girl
      Gonna be in a cell for a while

    2. Lackadaisical

      She thought she was in Detroit.

      1. Hyperion

        Yeah, you can do whatever you want if you’re white, if you’re also a US Senator. Otherwise, pretty much not.

  52. Nephilium

    In products you could use, Das Keyboard made some RFID blocking bags, and they’re on clearance right now. I needed a new keyboard for a work from home setup, so I added one of the backpacks to my order (free shipping at $50+, which the keyboard was getting me to anyway). For $30, it’s a pretty damned slick computer backpack.

    Pros:
    RFID shielded
    Weather Resistant
    Lots of internal pouches and pockets (12 by my count)
    Padded
    Self locking zipper

    Cons:
    No external pockets
    Heavy when empty (~2.5 lbs)
    No idea how durable it will be, and it’s on clearance…

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      So a phone couldn’t ping towers from inside one of these?

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Not if they are well made. If that’s your goal, you can put a build a Faraday cage into any bag for a few bucks worth of hardware. Lots of instructions if you search for “DIY Faraday bag” or “DIY Faraday cage.”

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I used to have to work in one of these bad boys.

          https://goo.gl/images/LNk1er

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Your phone is going to crank the power in an attempt to contact the tower. You’ll kill your battery unless you turn it off.

      3. Nephilium

        Not sure on that, it’s supposed to be shielded for the close range RFID skimming. Some quick tests show that I could still cause the phone to ring remotely using the find my phone feature on Google, and a test of test messaging came through to my phone and synched to my Fitbit, and a test call from the girlfriend rang the phone and notified the Fitbit as well. So I would guess the phone can ping the towers just fine.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Sounds like this isn’t the product for that, still looks to be a solid buy though.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          It doesn’t take much to block RFID. The chip relies on incoming wireless power to respond at a very low power.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Was this during the annual gathering of bikers?

      1. Tres Cool

        Likely the result of.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I knew a couple of guys that would go there every year. Now that is a rough crowd.

    2. Hyperion

      Heh, I lived in Portsmouth. The area is just an extension of Northern KY with more hillbillies.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I liked that they had to wake her up out of her heroin coma to find the newborn face up in the toilet still attached.

      Nice touch to the whole story.

      1. Hyperion

        We were coming back on the Amtrac one night from NYC to Baltimore. When we got to Balmer, it was late in the evening and the girls, wife and her niece, had to use the bathroom and we went into a McDonalds. So they’re waiting and someone is in the bathroom. After a little while, I’m like, let’s just go, but my niece was apparently going to pee her pants, so she asked one of the workers to try to get whoever was in there out of the bathroom, since it has been like 20 minutes. Bad idea. So then some redneck looking guy comes out, argues with the employee, they go outside and hillbilly guy beats him up. A few minutes later, here comes the cops. When we thought they had cleared the bathroom, a cop comes out and says ‘don’t go in there’. Apparently hillbilly guys gf or wife had performed a self abortion on herself. What the hell can I say, except what I always say ‘It’s Baltimore’.

        1. R C Dean

          Apparently hillbilly guys gf or wife had performed a self abortion on herself.

          And they have the eternal gratitude of the gene pool.

          1. Hyperion

            No shit.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Sweet Jeezus

        3. straffinrun

          Murder on the Miscreant Express.

        4. R C Dean

          Way to leave us hanging. Where did your niece wind up peeing?

  53. Nephilium

    Fucking Millennials. What the hell have you Chicagoans unleashed upon the world?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      *barf*

    2. Lackadaisical

      Just proving that all the gun violence in Chicago is in the wrong part of town.

    3. Hyperion

      SPAM is still a thing? I mean as a food product? Fuck me.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Outside of Hawaii, it’s an ironic thing, like artisanal mayonnaise.

        1. Hyperion

          I suppose it’s just another of those things, like Hostess Twinkies, that will allow mankind to survive if there’s ever a nuclear holocaust. SPAM and Twinkies will probably replace gold as the most valuable thing besides guns and drinkable water, since they have a shelf life measured in half life.

        2. Count Potato

          It’s also a thing in Okinawa.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        Yes. It’s delicious.

        1. Hyperion

          And you glow under blacklights for 40 years after eating it.

      3. Rhywun

        I imagine it is if you’re poor. I certainly ate a lot of it growing up.

        1. Hyperion

          I remember it, but definitely did not eat a lot of it. I remember it being slimy and gross. Sort of like those Vienna sausages, although I liked those. Back then, as a teen, I remember a can of Vienna sausages, a bag of Doritos, and a Pepsi being the perfect lunch. It’s hard to fathom the toxins that still reside in my body. Probably enough to kill an entire village of New Guineans.

          1. Rhywun

            I remember it being slimy and gross.

            Not after you slice it up and fry it. … Well, it’s still gross.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I had a lot of deviled ham on white bread with mayo.

            It doesn’t get much white trashier than that.

            https://goo.gl/images/n4tL7U

          3. A Leap at the Wheel

            I still retain my deep conviction in the Great Fried Balogna Controversy. Fireman shield yes, radiation symbol no!

          4. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Man, I hate fried bologna.

          5. Rhywun

            Fried bologna was even more common in my house than fried spam.

          6. Hyperion

            I have this thing for baloney sammich with American cheese, mayo, and tomato slices, nummy. Or baloney sammich with American cheese, pickles, mustard, and a splash of tabasco. Greatest poor man sammiches ever.

          7. A Leap at the Wheel

            Someone get that Morgan Freeman “he’s not wrong, you know” macro in here, stat.

      4. Grumbletarian

        I’m having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam!

  54. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Makes me wish I hadn’t cancelled Netflix

    “Insatiable is an equal-opportunity train wreck. It doesn’t merely traffic in stereotypes about fat people; it does the same thing with regard to the LGBTQ community, Southerners, women, Christians, conservatives, African-Americans, and probably some other groups I’ve neglected to mention. It makes jokes about pedophilia and statutory rape that made my skin crawl so severely, it physically slid off of my body, got in my car, and drove straight to the beach so it could take a vacation from this show. Insatiable is impressive in its capacity offend a vast array of ideologies, including the notion that TV in 2018 should really be a hell of a lot smarter and more nuanced than this. On top of all that, it’s a freakin’ narrative mess.”

    http://www.vulture.com/2018/08/insatiable-netflix-review.html

    1. Hyperion

      Netflix is one of those things I still have mostly because it’s so inexpensive, I don’t notice it. We occasionally watch something on there. We have Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Sling. I killed cable deader than dead and never again.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        My wife cannot stand Obama, so cancelled.

        1. She canceled the service because they gave Barry some money? It’s not like they make you watch 5 minutes of him speaking before you can watch Voltron. I do not get letting politics influence ones buying habits to that ( or any, really ) degree.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Small price for peace

          2. Microaggressor

            Netflix original content is like a trip to bizarro world. Just watched Father Of The Year, and I found the writing interesting as a sort of sneak peak into the mind of an intersectional cultist. At the beginning, they try really hard to ridicule the idea of colorblindness, with David Spade asking a black guy if there are any black people around so he can say a racist joke.

            Usually I’m a fan of watching bad movies stoned; bad acting gives you something to laugh at together. But this wasn’t the case. It was the kind of thing where it tries to be edgy but just comes off lame and boring. It was a well polished turd, which is the opposite of what I wanted.

            And it exemplified another trend with Netflix content that I’ve noticed: a weird obsession with sex. Like, it just kept happening for no reason. It’s the only way they can figure out how to make their show exciting because humor is dead in social justice puritan circles. But boundary-pushing sex? Always on the table.

          3. If they really wanted to push the boundaries, they’d so the copulators enjoying the post-coital cigarette.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        YouTube TV has actually turned out to be a decent service.

        1. Hyperion

          I’m liking Sling a lot, especially Curiosity Stream.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      I’m going back to Netflix for Matt Groenig’s new show. That sounds like another reason to go back.

    3. Mr Lizard

      “that made my skin crawl so severely, it physically slid off of my body”

      Wait!!!!! Do some of you mammals molt?!?!?!?

      1. R C Dean

        I’ve seen a few successful bariatric surgery patients that sure looked they were molting. ProTip: when you shed enough weight to build one (or more) adult humans, your skin doesn’t shrink back all that much; it still has room for one (or more) additional adult humans.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          I know 🙁

          ProTip: compression clothing is your friend, if this happens.

  55. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Got my new uber-powered laptop today. There will be some time wasted in the near future.

  56. Juvenile Bluster

    I guess if you’re gonna do the whole Nazi shtick, you should go all out

    (Actual Nazi, not Republican = Nazi)

    Pressed to clarify his Hitler comment, he questioned its validity until a reporter cited the date and time of the recording. West then said that he’d been taken out of context. He said that he believes all men are created equal, but not all ideologies are equal. Specifically, he said, he finds fault with Islam and Judaism.

    He said Islam is a political movement masquerading as a religion and that it’s trying to create an autocratic theocracy in the U.S., and that it should be stripped of all benefits religions receive.

    “Jewish people can be beautiful people, but there’s ideologies associated with that that I don’t agree with,” he went on. “Jews today are a remnant of the tribe of Judah that rejected Christ.”

    West again asked to speak about issues related to the job of a state representative. When asked about Jewish people in Missouri, he said, “Well, maybe they shouldn’t vote for me.”

    At no point did West apologize for or retract his comments. He asked that The Star link to his website within the story and expressed hope that readers would listen to his remarks in full to make up their own minds.

    1. straffinrun

      “The Missouri Republican Party late Thursday afternoon issued a statement about West’s “disgusting comments”:

      “Steve West’s shocking and vile comments do not reflect the position of the Missouri Republican Party or indeed of any decent individual. West’s abhorrent rhetoric has absolutely no place in the Missouri Republican Party or anywhere. We wholeheartedly condemn his comments”.

      And another example of what Jordan Peterson is talking about. We know when the right goes too far and it’s easy to condemn. Where’s the line on the left?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ask Keith Ellison

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Can’t. He’s too buys laying up caches of vote to be later “found.”

    1. Hyperion

      It’s OK, no one here works.

  57. Count Potato

    It’s 90°F and I’m watching football.

    1. Mojeaux

      Husband won tickets to the Chiefs game, so he is climbing stairs to get close to God.

      It’s hot and raining.

      If it were -8F, I’d’a gone, but it is 93F and football should not be played in this heat.

  58. straffinrun

    It’s sad to see this once fiercely independent site sell out to big Geico.

  59. Hyperion

    Civil lefties at it again

    I have a feeling that it will be sooner rather than later when cities like Portland and Seattle start deeply regretting helping to empower and protect these thugs.

  60. straffinrun

    American politics was a pendulum. The party out of power would shift a bit to the middle to scoop up those on the edge of the ruling party. The dems have decided that they’ll go further away instead. We’re gonna get either a massive swing back to the left or the pendulum is gonna snap. They didn’t learn from getting burned by the nuclear option which they introduced. Room for a new center party opening up in the near future?

    1. A Leap at the Wheel
      1. straffinrun

        Lesser of two evil mentality. I’m not a centrist, yet I find myself rooting for them. It would be like the NFL having only two teams: The Raiders and The Stealers.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          I’m making a normative statement, not a positive one. In our system of geographically bounded, winner take all elections, the equilibrium is 2 parties. Any temporary upsets are just that – temporary.

          I think there are three poles in our current polity – Conservatarian, Cosmopolitan, and Populist. They don’t make a straight line axis any more than any other three opposites like love, hate, and apathy, which are each the opposite of each other.

          But our political system will still asort into 2 parties, and its for the same reason all the gas stations in town are on the same intersection.

          1. straffinrun

            Makes sense. Most people aren’t oddballs that enjoy losing. A better analogy would be watching a Yankees vs Red Sox game a rooting for The Orioles.

    2. Hyperion

      Despite the constant 24/7 rhetoric of the leftist controlled media, I am still not buying the blue wave stuff. I just checked RCP avg again today and the dems have once again fallen several points since a couple of weeks ago. They are up by 5, but the more consistent polls have them almost dead even now. Apparently they need around an 11 point advantage to win back the house. I do not see it happening. I’ve been following this stuff for years and special elections are not a good barometer for the midterms, where way more turnout will help the GOP.

      Probably the most sweet and salty prog tear harvest possible will be if the dem establishment continue the push back against the far left She Guevara types and the left decide to just say fuck the establishment and form their own ‘socialist’ party. No sweeter thing could fall from heaven and I think we might actually see it happen.

    3. Hyperion

      “Room for a new center party opening up in the near future?”

      Fuck a center party. That’s a move back to the 90s where you could barely tell the difference between team red and blue and they regularly worked together to fuck over Americans and destroy the Constitution and did an immense amount of damage, maybe only equaled by the post 911 clusterfuck. I’d rather have them at each other’s throats 24/7.

      1. straffinrun

        There are a lot of people that will just think, “Team X has been in power too long. Time to vote Y.” Or, “My personal life sucks. I blame Team X” regardless if it’s their own fault or not. Those type people can decide elections.

      2. Schnirt Gurgleburger

        Or as I like to say,

        Bipartisanship: Another word for double-penetration.

        BTW, you’re on quite a roll today. Cheers.

    4. Rhywun

      Room for a new center party opening up in the near future?

      Not when it’s about “team” rather than “principles”. Most Dems will continue to vote Dem no matter how crazy they go. The Reps might peel off a few.

      1. straffinrun

        Hey, socially liberal and fiscally conservative is totally a principle, Man.

        1. Rhywun

          For weirdos, maybe.

        2. Fourscore

          Compromise is halfway in between two bad ideas

  61. KibbledKristen

    Mmmm…..hoofball….

    /homer simpson drooling gif here