Brett is at the doctor’s office this afternoon, starting his rounds of plastic surgery to repair the alligator bite wounds. So, following SP’s morning links, y’all get me and my inimitable afternoon links. It was a tossup between Lucky Pierre and Sloppy Seconds, but I felt that the former was more apropos.

I feel empowered now that I know how to put lines between each story like a real grownup. Ironic that it was SP who showed me how to do this, albeit with much sighing and eye-rolling. Well, whatevs, let’s look at the news.

 

In big news that for some reason has totally escaped the notice of the Trump-obsessed media, the House has actually passed a piece of legislation that INCREASES the strength of private property rights. And the vote was unanimous. There is one teensy little obstacle, though…

The House vote didn’t have much drama to it, but the issue directly aims at the relationship we have with government and the nature of private property, a core right recognized in the Constitution. Kelo perverted that relationship, putting everyone’s property rights hostage to politicians who want to hand off spoils to bigger entities. The case prompted some states to step in and redefine eminent domain to prevent another New London abuse, but despite four attempts by the House to correct this injustice, the Senate has remained obstinate.

And of course, a president with a veto pen who has declared that he LOVES eminent domain. I very often disagree with Clarence Thomas, but his dissent in the Kelo case is delightful invective.

Of course, any of us little people, after stealing over $100k by fraud, would have gotten off with no jail time and no felony conviction. Right? Her family connections were of course completely irrelevant.

Caroline, 31, offered an apology while promising her wild ways are behind her, as she accepted her sentence of two-years probation. ‘I not only acknowledge my conduct and take responsibility but deeply regret the harm caused,’ she told Justice Curtis Farber. ‘I can assure you that I have made amends, full restitution, completed community service and that nothing like this will ever happen again,’ Biden said, according to the New York Post.

As part of her deal she plead to a lesser charge of petit larceny.

Decked in a fitted black dress and ankle booties with her blonde locks flowing,  Caroline happily had her felony conviction tossed.

Some animals are more equal than others.

 

Here’s something that, had it happened anywhere else but the woke capital of the world, would have resulted in a Darwin Award.

The investigation revealed that the couple had been asleep in their bedroom when they were awakened by the unknown suspect speaking to them and asking to use their WiFi network. The suspect was wearing something covering over his face. The male victim got out of bed, confronted the suspect, and pushed him down the hallway and out the front door of the house before calling police. No one was injured.

Chez SP/OMWC, if he had managed not to get eaten by our rather large guardian dog, he would have taken the Room Temperature Challenge, assuming SP (a crack shot) had a gun within reach of where she sleeps. Which she totally doesn’t because it would be illegal. Totally.

 

Turban Man.

Grewal, the country’s first Sikh American attorney general, took to Twitter in response to the comments, which were made during Wednesday’s episode of “The Dennis & Judy Show” on New Jersey 101.5 radio. Grewal wears a turban as part of his religious beliefs.

Hosts Dennis Malloy and Judi Franco brought up Grewal’s turban in a conversation about his recent order to suspend marijuana prosecutions. Malloy said he could not remember Grewal’s name, telling Franco, “I’m just going to say the guy with the turban.”

“Listen, if that offends you, then don’t wear the turban, man, and I’ll remember your name,” Malloy said at one point.

Me, I’m Yarmulke Man.

 

Nothing Left To Cut

In 2012, the New York Army National Guard paid the Buffalo Bills $250,000 to conduct on-field re-enlistment ceremonies. In 2014, the Georgia National Guard paid the Atlanta Falcons $114,000 to sing the national anthem. In 2015, the Air Force paid NASCAR $1.5 million in part for veterans to shake hands with racing legend Richard Petty. Your tax dollars. At work.

If you skip the usual SJW drivel in this article, the main point still stands.

 

Too bad he’s not a Biden.

McFarland pleaded guilty to felony charges of wire fraud, bank fraud, and lying to a federal officer in an 11 a.m. appearance before Judge Naomi Reice Buchwald on Thursday, according to the Justice Department. The plea deal carries a federal sentencing recommendation of 135 to 168 months in prison, though he could be sentenced to as many as 75 years under the felony maximums.

The alleged fraud happened while he was out on bail awaiting trial on the Fyre Festival fraud. Well, you do have to commend him for consistency.

Old Guy Music yet again. I think I’ve posted a Leon Thomas song before, but there’s always room for more. This time, a short piece from an album that ought to be much better known than it is, with Thomas, Oliver Nelson, and Johnny Hodges, a real supergroup. This song is basically a vocalese version of Duke Ellington’s “C Jam Blues,” which beats three chord rock by being basically two note jazz. Thomas does his usual “holy shit, how can he make his voice do that?” pyrotechnics, Nelson’s arrangements are pitch-perfect, and Hodges is… well… Johnny Hodges.