Next lab move, I’m going to murder all the pipefitters, do the work myself, write it up as a cost avoidance, and win Employee of the Year.
But that is/was the week that is/was, we are interested in the Week the Will Be.
Mars (retrograde)-Terra-Sol: Ooof. Not Good. Mars is always a dick (that’s kind of his thing)
but when he goes retrograde, he’s pure asshole. Then when you add the Earth (source of all evil) and empower the whole thing with the Sun, bad things happen. And I don’t mean “bad things” in the whole “tee hee, I’ve been a bad boy and need spanking” way, I mean legitimately bad in a Saw III fanfic sort of way. Then when you put Mars in Aquarius (source of plenty) and you wind up with destruction of valuables, loss of income, and warranties voided. Looking at the other end of the alignment, we see the Sun in Cancer (keeper of secrets) so expect a covert attack leading to the above disaster (fun fact: “disaster” is an astrological term).
Is there any good news? Well, kind of. The conjunction of Luna with Jupiter in Scorpio indicates a breakthrough in medicine, so that’s nice, though not necessarily applicable to any one in particular. Weight gain is indicated (that’s bad) because of particularly tasty baked goods (that’s good) and everyone’s love life should remain stable (that’s good, unless your lonely in which case that’s bad). With all this equivocation, you’d think there would be some activity in Libra, but there’s not.
Enjoy your day in the sun, Cancers. It’s fast coming to an end (where did this month go?) More political news is indicated, though that’s one of those signs that you feel embarrassed at reading (you’d expect that Mercury would be somehow stuck in Leo for the next couple of years, but that won’t happen. It will be there longer than normal though — tune in next week to see the shocking news why!)
Both groovy, and reminiscent of one who did not cross over:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R0wNGa8kuw
[Editor’s note: This post went up late, for which we profusely apologize, because we are a bunch of fucking morons.]
Comments
118 responses to “I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of July 22”
I shook the magic 8-ball and axed “am I gonna be 1st on the new thread?”
Magic 8 Ball says, YES!
How much you want for that ball?
How bout some retro-silliness?
Remember when we used to make fun of the right for being histrionic prudes? I remember when. It seems like a breath of fresh air to read stupid shit like this again.
+1 Chlorox saddle wipes
After the ride I hope? Or is the goal to make you stand up and pedal faster?
Hilarious that they use a photo from Portland, OR for this story. It’s not illegal to be naked in Oregon, as long as you don’t do so for sexual gratification.
Also, if driving around St Louis and worst crime you experience is seeing naked people, count yourself lucky.
Imagine the vapors if this gal had been doing one of her “photo shoots” in St. Louis. (John pr0n)
Poor incels. They even get shut down by Godzilla.
I always love the conflation of nudity, sexuality, sexual predation. It is just a given. She does it slick as a bean…or maybe slick as a bicycle seat.
Welcome back! Hope all is well.
Thank you. Good to be back.
Hope they don’t run into these girls out in public. NSFW.
http://ring-360.com/site/
Weight gain is indicated (that’s bad)
Just as GlibFit ends. Coincidence? No, the stars rule all!
Trump’s economy is fantastic!
Everyone has a job. Even fact checkers who get fired for claiming that a guy is a nazi based on a tattoo have gotten re-hired.
Of course, she’s a right-thinker.
Of course she did. maybe she can consult with Sarah Silverman.
http://dailycaller.com/2017/02/12/sarah-silverman-mistakes-sidewalk-utility-markings-for-swastikas/
Those are just the telecom markings. Wait til she stumbles across the white intent ones. Intent? Premeditation confirmed!
[Editor’s note: This post went up late, for which we profusely apologize, because we are a bunch of fucking morons.]
I blame Mars.
*ahem*
Mars retrograde.
Well Mars should be punished then. Humiliated, shunned. Maybe even Mars bar?
Banished to the Milky Way!
To be pulverized in the big Crunch
This is a random enough thread to go OT right away. Last night I watched “Citizen X” for the first time. I thought it a very worthwhile movie. Not only do you get to see a frustrated young detective doggedly pursue one of the most prolific serial killers in modern history, you get to see how petty bureaucratic rivalry and political dogma enabled that killer to prey on the populace for that long. Good movie.
this is the 1995 movie about soviet serial killer?
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112681/
i was asking abt serial-killer films/tv shows the other day, and i can’t remember if this was suggested but it sounds good
It’s very good if I recall correctly, The book it’s based on I remember really liking so I may be conflating to two,
Yup thats it, I think you’ll enjoy it! (As much as one can enjoy a story about human depravity)
Cool. Might check Amazon Prime for that today.
I really like that it doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to portraying how dysfunctional the Soviet system was. I highly doubt you’d get such an honest retelling today. Now everyone wants to act like Perestroika was the worst thing to happen to the Russian people.
However, as I write this, we are trapped in our Airbnb as the St. Louis World Naked Bike Ride rides past the house. I can hear their profane shouts as they express their lustful glee. It is everything that I can do to keep from going outside and confronting them. I feel violated and I am angry. It is not okay that a group of adults can openly flaunt their nudity and imprison my family inside.
I called 911 and was told, “We’ll check on it.”
Seek professional help, dude.
He’s channeling the spirit of Helen Lovejoy.
Seriously. When people riding bikes naked outside on a public street gives you the vapors and makes you feel vulnerable, you’ve got a hell of a lot more wrong with you than they do with themselves.
My kids, my wife, and I were “alarmed” by the nudity.
Children? The stork must have brought them.
The story started with this:
I love the old time blue nosed righties who would bring their kids to a brewery and distillery for dinner but then freak out about a few naked people.
Yeah, I’ll trade more public nudity for keeping children out of my bar anytime. It’s 10pm, bar has turned into a meat market, ya think you can take your baby home now?
Paging OMWC . . .
Yea, this is really insensitive to the LBTQP.
DON’T TOUCH YOUR NO-NO SPOT
Last night I watched “Citizen X” for the first time.
An excellent movie.
I watched “Con Men” (I’m pretty sure that was the name- Amazon Prime) the other night. Aside from the heavy, heavy Scottish accents which almost justify subtitles, it was a really good “caper” movie.
You may have just decided what I’m doing this rainy afternoon, thanks!
Oh, and Aquarius (source of plenty) .
Yes, we Aquarians are munificent.
Plenty of what? 🙂
I’m assuming crayon drawings and macaroni art.
Was this mentioned in morning link comments?
Tony Sparano dies
Best, perhaps unintentionally, funny line of the day: “he had been in the NFL since 1999 when he joined the Browns as a quality control coach.“
That sucks. I was expecting the obituary of James Gandolfini. This is much worse. Nothing against Jimmy.
I hate to break it to you…
Dammit!
At least we still have Lou Rawls.
I laughed
At least we still have the rock n roll animal, Lou Reed turning out some great music.
At least we still have Lou Reid.
+1 Life’s taken a toll.
The Browns are consistently awful, so, job well done?
Hey now, they range from unsatisfactory to tragic in their awfulness, that’s quite a spread.
He let the fans down one final time?
He was currently with the Vikings.
They certainly let fans down in the NFCCG! 🙂
I am fully expecting Cousins to be another top 18 QB while Bridgewater and Keenum blow up with their new teams. OK, Bridgewater doing great would surprise me. I think he will be an average QB his entire career. Keenum, though, may be a guy who will be very good if he is given a chance. No idea what he did that made Zimmer and the Vikes get rid of him.
Hubris? The same thing that led McCarthy to think he could win with Brett Hundley and couldn’t bother to see if the third QB had anything at all by not playing him until the final two minutes of the final game.
Yeah, going from 3 QB’s that had success to one completely different QB makes me nervous. I would have like to seen them keep at least one of them. We’ll see.
Enjoy Cousins, and prepare to be periodically enraged. I thought he was a perfectly good qb who got jobbed by that horrid little fucker who owns the Skins and his flying monkey, Vice President of Pants Colors. It was obvious they wanted to build the team around RG3 (whoops) and rather than accept they fucked up decided to take it out on Kirk in contract negotiations. I’m not at all surprised he told them where to go this last time, and good for him.
Although I’ll say this. He’s a good qb, and it’s tough to tell how he would’ve done in a different situation, but there were two big gripes against him here. One was that he’s really gun-shy about throwing an interception, so he’ll throw a check-down rather than trust a receiver to get open. The other is that while he’s good about moving on after bad plays, in the moment he’s easy to rattle. Like, not that he’s afraid to get hit, but that if a play looks like it’s not going how it’s supposed to he has trouble thinking on his feet. Again, though, I don’t know how much of that was related to this situation in DC.
I’m hopeful. There is something to be said for checking down but you have to know when to go for broke as well.
And yeah, I don’t know why you get rid of Case Keenum. I would’ve held on to him and Bridgewater and brought somebody in on the draft.
I liked Bradford and Bridgewater. I don’t think they ever saw Keenum as a potential franchise QB. I think Bridgewater has potential for that but injuries could be a problem. Bradford seems a lot like how you describe Cousins. I’m definitely a fan. He didn’t lose games.
Well, they both get the dreaded “game manager” description in the media, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Like you say, they’re not going to lose the game for you. They’re not going to be able to carry a bad team on their shoulder like, say, Cam Newton, but they’re also not going to torpedo the game because they’re having an off-day, like, say, Cam Newton. With Cousins, it seemed like he can make a good team better, but not a bad team good.
If you want your kids molested too, then vote Democrat this fall. If you want to protect children, then vote in a way that makes sure that the “Blue Wave” doesn’t happen. Also, if you want to protect your children from government-sanctioned molestation, then you should avoid the city of St. Louis.
What I want is to slap this hysterical nut with a big floppy rubber dildo (not *to death* Hatchet Harry style) as his children look on in either terror or furtive glee. I have other plans for the wife, pending visual reconnaissance.
She’s right that the “Blue Wave” will harm children, but for entirely the wrong reasons. If you want to protect the children, you want to get the State out of their lives as much as practicable.
*ahem*
Mars retrograde.
Would that be one of the Martha’s Vineyard Retrogrades? They’re quite hoity toity, or so I am led to believe.
The comments to that nudity thing are… unsurprising.
Speaking of ‘Atchet ‘Arry
You know who else is “pure asshole”?
A certain Mickey Rooney lookalike who lives in idaho?
This shit is getting personal.
I like it.
A shriveled, desiccated old man in Illinois?
I’m not shriveled, I’m pleasingly plump!
Only after a blue pill.
Or three.
You know who else is “pure asshole”?
A Taco John’s “beef” burrito?
Nice. Didn’t see that angle coming.
Yeah. Brooks is on one today.
A bender?
I know this was discussed yesterday but damn, she looks like death warmed over.
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/07/what-is-she-wearing-hillary-clinton-looks-like-hell-at-ozyfest-in-new-york-video/
Princess Leia had best watch out for the tongue.
Yeah, not sure she could survive running again. Nancy Pelosi sounding pretty lost these days as well.
I doubt she could survive things as simple as “buying her own groceries”, “answering the phone”, “having someone tell her what she said makes no sense”, etc.
its pretty obvious she’s a barely-held-together bag of putty that hasn’t had any purpose other than delusional overblown self-regard for decades.
she looks far less healthy than @#($*() trump, and he’s a fast-food eating half-crazy geriatric himself.
the bullet we dodged is nearly impossible to comprehend. she would have been an utter mess in office, and the govt would have been run by a cabal of the worst sycophant advisors to her you can possibly imagine. We think ‘steve bannon’ and ‘scaramucci’ were gross and weird, but compared to Huma and Cheryl? we’re so fucking lucky.
That is God’s truth.
The problem is the same as it always was: the people we would actually choose are wise enough to have nothing to do with the job. We end up having to choose the least bad option.
Yeah, we did. I think the best thing I can say about this admin is that because all the powers that be despise him (media, deep state, think tanks, establishment Republicans, pop culture, social media progs, etc), you really have one of the most transparent admins in history. There is nothing this admin can get away with. They are being watched like hawks. You would not have that with HC at the helm. You also wouldn’t have open-ended investigations keeping her from getting anything else done. You would still have GOP control of Congress so she would have free reign but nothing like we have right now. I wish this happened under every administration. With less derp and propaganda though.
Wouldn’t have free reign.
I think you had it right the first time.
If they cant trot her out in 2020 maybe they can rope Auntie Maxine into giving it a go. That would be priceless. That would make campaign 2016 look like a snooze fest.
Please Dems, do it.
An intersectional home run: black, female, old, and mentally disabled.
Maxine Waters, Crazy Uncle Joe, Kamille Harris……
I think we’re in for a clown show no matter what. That or they decide to propel Ocasio-Cortez to the front of the line because she’s a super woke Latinawho isn’t painful to behold.
AOC is not old enough to run. Their best bet is to go with some blank slate candidate that no one has heard of like they did with Obama. No real record to criticize. Lots of platitudes they can project on the candidate.
Joe Crowley is a major asshole but I would love to see him kick AOC’s ass as a third party candidate.
I forgot she’s too young to run. I’m sure there are people eyeing 2024 for her already.
If she runs, she’ll have to answer questions. She doesn’t seem to be very knowledgable about anything.
Since when did that stop the Dems before? Barry was proof that all you need to do is speak in platitudes and carry yourself with an undeserved air of moral superiority.
True. The biggest difference I see is as I mentioned above that BO was a blank slate. Two years before the election, hardly anyone had ever heard of him. That enabled him to get away with a certain degree of duplicity in regards to the platitudes vs what he truly believed. OC is going to be all over Twitter and Facebook constantly for the next 6 years so going to be a little tougher for her to be portrayed as some sort of moderate that’s going to bring balance to the force.
Fauxcahontas.
Like I said; Clown Show. I’m giddy thinking about Trumps tweets and petty insults if that were his opponent
Harris will be it, not even a question. She continues the long Team Blue tradition of female presidential candidates being qualified on the basis of having had an actual smart and skilled politician’s penis inside her.
Would.
The colostomy bag was priceless.
Based on the amount of booze she seems to guzzle daily, I assumed it was a bota bag.
If she survives to the next presidential election it will be a miracle.
Her lust for power will keep her alive until then…only to lose again to
the RussiansTrump.She’s been dead inside for a long time….
Please run. Please run. FFS please run.
Only if she completely abandons the socialist chic pantsuits and keeps the crazy Grandma look. Just an array of multi-colored and patterned mumu’s.
She seems to have stepped away from the Chairman Mao/Kim Jung Un look which of all her fashion missteps was the most apropos
or they decide to propel Ocasio-Cortez to the front of the line because she’s a super woke Latinawho isn’t painful to behold.
I caught a little bit of her interview (featuring Bernie!) this morning on CBS. She looks even crazier in live-action than she does in photographs.
I didn’t think it was possible.
If she runs, she’ll have to answer questions. She doesn’t seem to be very knowledgable about anything.
Oh, come on. She was a bar
tenderback. She knows plenty.I wonder how many free shots she gave away? She probably added the shots to other peoples tabs so she could give them away to her “poor” friends. So she does have experience.
Saw this on FEE. How is UBI not instantly inflationary? Even if (big if, YUUUUUGGGE if, the BEST if) you eliminate all other welfare programs, at $2000/per adult per month, you are injecting $300 billion per MONTH into the economy. That sounds like inflation on a platter as demand for EVERYTHING goes up, based on increased income. Times 12 months is 3.6 trillion/year. How does this not become the tail that body slams the dog?
“best bet is to go with some blank slate candidate that no one has heard of …No real record to criticize. Lots of platitudes they can project on the candidate.”
I get this sentiment, but I don’t think the mechanics are quite correct. Many, many people project onto a candidate entirely without regard to their track record. I respectfully observe that Mr Trump has been on three sides of every issue; indeed, a great many of his recent postures are only recently dreamt of after a half century of arguing the other way.
One might observe that you need to be pretty sharp to get through the nuclear submarine program; but there are folks who will argue against that who nonetheless think that inheriting a baseball team or being governor of Texas proves anything. Veterans will vilify veterans; combat veterans will vote for national guard types. Union presidents will suddenly become Republicans. I have seen every thing rationalized by every type in the past four decades; principle, consistency, and track record have been weighed quite lightly in the corridors I’ve traveled.
I’m not taking sides; I’m just pointing out that in the era of identity people vote for the insignia, not the man. And, as always, I leave you with: a pox on both their houses.
Very true. Yet another reason I gave up a long time ago trying to predict what the electorate was going to do in a presidential election.
“combat veterans will vote for national guard types.”
One and the same, the past 17 years…
I guess it will take a few more years for that old Vietnam era trope to die.