Tuesday Morning Links – Remain Calm, All is Well!

 

No worries….just because sloopy is not here for the morning links, no need to panic. We have so got this!

Sports…um. OK, nothing happened yesterday. Apparently nothing will happen today either.

History – Oh, let us see here. Disneyland opened in 1955. Not really something that gets the blood pumping… How about in 1945, the Potsdam Conference began. Jo DiMaggio ended his hitting streak at 56. Man…kind of weak today. REMAIN CALM, WE HAVE BIRTHDAYS!!!

Birthdays – 1744, Elbridge Gerry (“Gerrymandering”). 1889 – Erle Gardner (wrote “Perry Mason”). 1894 – That Belgian dude who sort of was the first guy with the Big Bang theory, Georges Lemaître. 1899 – James Cagney (insert bad gangster impression here) . 1912 – Noted Canadian and early TV guy, Art Linkletter. 1917 – Baseball hooman (inventor of the infield shift) Lou Bourdeau [he was also a basketball player and coach…look it up.] Also that year, Phyllis Diller. 1920 – Inventor of the “laser”, Gordon Gould. 1952 – THE HASS! Germany rejoices.

Links

  1. I need a costume change here… [dons Zerohedge hat and Infowars T-Shirt]. I KNEW IT!!!!!! SEE! HE WENT BACK TO HIS HOMELAND!1!1!eleventy!!1oneoneone!!
  2. Things are so bad in Syria, that people will try to enter TEH ZIONIST ENTITY for refuge. Funny, I don’t see anyone fleeing from Israel to one of her neighbors?
  3. “This isn’t real life; this is Instagram” – Seriously bad news for Q, HM and many others…admirers of the thicc or the busty.
  4. A point of etiquette, Mr. Lizard. Could you get a room, please?

 

So, as you see….we have things under control here at Glibs HQ! *faint sound of alarm* Now, if you will pardon me, I, uh, have to get back to things.

Decisions, Decisions!

Comments

472 responses to “Tuesday Morning Links – Remain Calm, All is Well!”

  1. Count Potato

    “I KNEW IT!!!!!! SEE! HE WENT BACK TO HIS HOMELAND!1!1!eleventy!!1oneoneone!!”

    Does his brother live there?

    1. bacon-magic

      Did they visit with each other?

      1. Count Potato

        It doesn’t say.

  2. straffinrun

    An app called Facetune has made photo retouching a cinch for even the most novice of editors.

    Pros use Jager.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      Jagermeister? cause everyone looks cuter after that?

      1. straffinrun

        Keep forgetting I’m old and it’s 2018. Should’ve went with Meth.

      2. In my experience regular ol’ beer will do, so long as you’ve got the dosage right.

        1. AlexinCT

          In my case it is many more gallons than my belly can hold and my kidneys can process in a quick time.. I will have to stick with Jim beam and Jack Daniels.

          1. I can’t drink more than 2 beers anymore. I blow up like a Trump Baby.

          2. Luckily, I suffer from an advanced case of whiskey dick, which has saved my ass many a night.

          3. AlexinCT

            I fucking hate Whiskey dick man… It is making me feel like an old man.

  3. ChipsnSalsa

    A point of etiquette, Mr. Lizard. Could you get a room, please?

    Families visiting a playground in Thailand were shocked to find two giant monitor lizards standing on their hind legs, hugging each other. While the display started off cute, things escalated into a much less “family-friendly” event.

    We have learned it takes a lot to be below “family-friendly”.

    1. straffinrun

      Sounds very family friendly.

    2. Hey, they were trying to make a family. What isn’t friendly about that?!

      1. commodious spittoon

        A lizard family, which, as we all know, are anathema to the health and well-being of proper, God-fearing mammal families.

        1. Mr Lizard

          Your mother didn’t seem to mind…

          1. Pope Jimbo

            Well she is a lot lizzard so she is already one of yours….

    3. Slammer

      They’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the lizards, and they were married…

      1. Did they take your red Swingline stapler, too?

        1. ElspethFlashman

          I’d love to have an aqua blue swingline.

          1. Gadfly

            Lol. The red Swingline is specially marked as “Amazon’s Choice for ‘red stapler’”.

          2. ElspethFlashman

            Thanks!

        2. AlexinCT

          I bet they gave him a can of roach spray when they moved him into the basement.

    4. Mr Lizard

      If you watch it carefully it’s like STEVE SMITH in slowmo

    5. Cliche Bandit

      Reptilian Rape Culture…abhorrent.

  4. PieInTheSKy

    Sports…um. OK, nothing happened yesterday. Apparently nothing will happen today either. – there’s nba summer league. Josh hart had 37 points for example.

    1. NBA Summer League? you have proved my point.

      [see “Doug McDermott”]

      1. PieInTheSKy

        Doug McDermott is just about to break out to all star levels

    2. What’s the MLB home run derby, chopped liver?

      Yes, to answer my own question, that’s exactly what it is. I’ll also accept weak beer or small potatoes.

      1. pan fried wylie

        “Chopped Liver, Small Potatoes no butter no salt, mug of weak beer”

        in today’s episode of “Sportsball or Uncivil’s Lunch Order”

        1. It’s sportsball. Aside from the fact that my lunch order was corned beef, Liver should be served sliced and fried with onions. Small potatos are best suited as Salt Potatos which are massively salted and buttered. And we’ve discussed beer already.

          1. pan fried wylie

            Lowest Rated Episode Ever.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            Best episode to sleep by.

  5. Count Potato

    “Funny, I don’t see anyone fleeing from Israel to one of her neighbors?”

    Well, they can go to sunny Los Angeles, where (((they))) are totes welcome.

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/33102/kosher-cafe-targeted-immigrant-owners-support-amanda-prestigiacomo

    1. Gadfly

      FTA:

      Asher Caffé & Lounge was targeted by an anti-Trump group known as “Defend Boyle Heights” (DBH) with a fierce protest, calls for boycott, and slanderous social media posts because of Mr. Shalom’s support for the president, his alleged “xenophobia,” and the cafe’s “gentrification” to the neighborhood.

      Pro-immigration but anti-gentrification? Not exactly paragons of intellectual consistency there – gentrification is basically just immigration on a small scale.

      1. Oh, no, no, they’re Pro-Poverty.

        1. AlexinCT

          Especially if those people end up having to vote for the poverty pimp party.

  6. PieInTheSKy

    I need a costume change here… [dons Zerohedge hat and Infowars T-Shirt]. I KNEW IT!!!!!! SEE! HE WENT BACK TO HIS HOMELAND!1!1!eleventy!!1oneoneone!!

    Why would Kenyan leaders do something silly like that? It is one of the main leverages to power

    1. Count Potato

      Maybe they want fair elections?

      “WH Touts Kenyan Program to Obtain National ID Cards for Voter Registration

      As President Obama and his family continue their tour of Africa, the White House put out a Fact Sheet entitled “U.S. Support for Strengthening Democratic Institutions, Rule of Law, and Human Rights in Sub-Saharan Africa.” One of the first items highlighted by the White House is a $53 million program in Kenya that helps young people “obtain National identification cards, a prerequisite to voter registration.”

      https://www.weeklystandard.com/wh-touts-kenyan-program-to-obtain-national-id-cards-for-voter-registration/article/737990

      1. Charlie Suet

        But voter registration laws are racist! Looks like Obama’s trying to introduce Jim Crow to Africa!

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Of course, Obama supports ID cards to vote in Kenya. After all in Kenya, ID cards keep whitey from voting.

        2. AlexinCT

          if everyone is black, then voter ID cards are totes cool, is what these douches will reply with..

          1. White Kenyans are still a thing. They’re also most likely to prnounce it ‘Keenya’

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Democracy dies in Demented Hysteria

    The events of the past few days — culminating in President Trump’s meeting today with Russian President Vladimir Putin — have rendered this interpretation inescapable: Trump is currently in the process of repaying Putin for helping to deliver him the presidency.

    Whatever comes of this meeting — even if Trump does, in fact, gain some concessions from Putin, and even if Putin does not get what he wants out of Trump — that storyline will remain operative. The known facts have now established it beyond any serious doubt, and the only alternative interpretations of that now-established basic bargain that make any sense are actually more nefarious than that one.

    ————

    In blaming only previous U.S. leadership and the current Mueller probe for bad relations with Russia — and not Russia’s attack on our democracy, which is particularly galling, now that this attack has been described in great new detail — Trump is not merely spinning in a way that benefits himself. He’s also giving a gift to Putin, by signaling that he will continue to do all he can to delegitimize efforts to establish the full truth about Russian interference, which in turn telegraphs that Russia can continue such efforts in the future (which U.S. intelligence officials have warned will happen in the 2018 elections). In a sense, by doing this, Trump is colluding with such efforts right now.

    Inescapable, I tells ya! When will the 25th Amendment be invoked? The man is a traitor!

    1. gbob

      I have a twitter feed for my podcast and it winds up following every damn lefty in creation. The amount of Russia hysteria and cries of treason astound me. Where we these folks when the Russians were actually a threat?

      1. Drake

        Lecturing us on how the Cold War was evil and the commies were really nice people with good ideas.

        1. AlexinCT

          You are talking about the Obama years, or does this go back all the way to the Bolshevik revolution?

          1. Drake

            I was talking Cold War. Once the Russians gave up on communism, the Dems just pretended they didn’t exist for about 2 decades.

          2. AlexinCT

            Not only that, these democrats have been making fun of people pointing out the Russians were up to no good, and this practice was in high gear during the Obama years. I think Romney is a tool, but the guy was right when he pointed out that Russia was a problem in 2012, only to have Obama and a slew of prominent democrats make fun about him and telling him that the Cold War was over. Russia was totes cool with these resisters back then and considered a non-entity. That is, until they aired the dnc/democratic party’s dirty laundry and informed the American public about how corrupt these democrats were and how the abuse of power by Obama administration – which used every organ of the deep state to go after their political enemies – made Nixonian practices look tame.

      2. Atanarjuat

        I actually had a friend post “maybe the Republicans would think the Kremlin is a threat if it was full of brown people”.

        Nope, can’t think of any Republicans who thought Russia or USSR was a threat.

        1. Atanarjuat

          Ha, I just went searching for the post and it’s been deleted, probably because of my brief reply asking how Reagan fits into his theory.

          1. Gadfly

            Or even how Trump actually fits into it, considering he spent the previous week browbeating the Euros to spend more on defense and stop buying oil/gas from Russia. Which efforts the press and the bureaucratic class were trying to undermine, despite the fact that it would have given Trump a stronger hand in his dealings with Russia this week. You can’t knock the feet out from under someone and then turn around and complain that they aren’t dealing from a position of strength, yet here we are.

    2. leonadasiv

      “delegitimize efforts to establish the full truth about Russian interference, ”

      He’s trying to delegitimize our illegitimate attempt to get rid of him through lies.

      1. AlexinCT

        HE STOLE THE ELECTION WE HAD RIGGED AND THOUGHT WE HAD STOLEN!

    3. Slammer

      I larfed when Putin said, “about those Intelligence Agencies…I used to work for one…and, as you know, they all lie”

      1. leonadasiv

        Can you trust that man to tell the truth about anything?!?!

        1. AlexinCT

          I don’t know about Putin, but team blue’s anger at the Russians sure seems to be because after they hacked the dnc servers, they had the temerity to release factual information about how corrupt the dnc was, including stealing the primaries from Bernie, rigging the delegates, mismanaging the cash on hand, and basically covering for crooked Hillary, causing Americans to wise up.

      2. I’m gobsmacked at the complete and total 180 the left has taken on trusting the intelligence community. Anybody remember the 2000s? As I recall, for about an eight year block of time (funny how that works) the feds were the lyingest liars that ever lied. Now they’re physiological incapable of anything but seeking out the truth and shouting it from the hilltops, apparently.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Because they’re illiterate and unprincipled twits. That’s why.

          1. It’s hard to come to any other conclusion, honestly. I’ll give people too young to have really paid any attention to previous administrations a pass, but if you’re 30 or older there’s no damn excuse.

          2. pan fried wylie

            18 + 3 elections = 30

            The Math Checks Out.

    4. Michael

      This really is it. They’ve all gone beyond the point of no return and succumbed to insanity. I can sort of see Russia as a threat in the sense that they have an army of D-grade hackers working to cause what can most accurately and charitably be referred to as mischief, but that’s about it. To think of them as a threat on the geopolitical stage is sheer delusion. Russia is a limp dick banana republic that hasn’t been able to successfully get into first gear in the three decades since the fall of communism.

      1. AlexinCT

        Team blue, as I mentioned above, finally has identified Russia as dangerous – after making excuses for them and the evils of communism throughout the cold war – because they had the temerity of releasing the information that their hacking operation of the dnc servers scooped. Team blue is pissed that the released info showed the dnc, the democrat party, and especially crooked Hillary, for the lying, conniving, and lying scum they are, and that is unforgivable and makes them Russians the worst sort of enemies.

  8. commodious spittoon

    Every sexy bikini photo you see is probably fake

    It gets worse. When your server seems sweet on you? She’s just fishing for tips.

    1. When your server seems sweet on you? She’s just fishing for tips.

      WHAT?!! My whole world is… I can’t. ARGH!!!!

      1. Spudalicious

        Euphemisms…

    2. leonadasiv

      You mean … im not the only one he calls Honey?

      1. Nephilium

        He just calls you that because you’re sticky and full of antibiotics.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      YOU LIE!

      My dear Ubuntu server loves me true. I’ve got the logs to prove it.

      1. Poor Jimbo. Ubuntu is a promiscuous interface.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Promiscuous is fine. As long as it isn’t a MS Winhoes server. Total slut bag teeming with all sorts of dll’s.

          1. pan fried wylie

            double dll’in on the downlow

          2. AlexinCT

            Makes me want to decompile her..

          3. pan fried wylie

            Decompile Driver

      2. Cliche Bandit

        Debian or GTFO…I need TWO to be happy

    4. JaimeRoberto

      You mean she won’t let me wipe her with a cloth?

  9. The Late P Brooks

    While the display started off cute, things escalated into a much less “family-friendly” event.

    What could be more “family friendly” than making babies?

  10. ruodberht

    The Big Bang theory was cooked up by a Catholic priest. Because religion is anti-science, it is therefore wrong.

    I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Some argue that digital perfection is damaging to the body-positivity movement more recently embraced by the magazine and fashion industries. About 70 percent of Facetune users are women, its rep tells The Post.

    “When I was a teenager, it was perfect images in magazines that would leave me feeling negatively about myself,” says Sia Cooper, known to her 1.1 million Instagram followers as @diaryofafitmommyofficial.

    “Now we’re all glued to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook 24/7 with a constant stream of what appear to be perfect images from friends, models, celebrities and other influencers.”

    ———-

    “It is so easy to make your butt bigger,” she says. “I just don’t want people to compare [themselves to others]. You just don’t know what’s edited or not.”

    Cartoon bubblebutt, FTW! Because that’s sexy? No thanks.

    1. straffinrun

      I’m coming clean. My balls aren’t actually that vividly blue.

      1. Not Adahn

        Hanging out on Mandrill dating sites?

    2. commodious spittoon

      But what exactly is underhanded about it? Hey, you know what else is pretty abnormal? Women striking sexually insouciant poses in front of a camera. Women normally don’t do that. Most women don’t stage photo shoots at all. Instagram models are trying to fool you by pretending to be more sexually attainable than they actually are!

    3. Negroni Please

      “About 70 percent of Facetune users are women”

      whoah. This is shaking my presuppositions to the core. 30% of the users are men!?

      I just can’t even….

    4. PieInTheSKy

      Can parents really not explain to children about magazines? Do sports, don’t be too fat and that should cover it anyway.

      1. I’d think a quick glance at the people surrounding them would teach children what “normal” looks like. Unless you live in San Diego, because god damn, a San Diego 5 is like a normal world 8.

        1. commodious spittoon

          What does a San Francisco 5 get you in normie world?

          1. Not Adahn

            Typhus.

          2. trshmnstr

            Chlamydia?

          3. Spudalicious

            Hep C.

  12. straffinrun

    Man arrested after driving car through entrance to city hall in Shizuoka Pref

    According to police, the incident occurred at around 11 p.m. Local media reported that the suspect, Hidemitsu Hiyoshi, drove his vehicle through the front door, sending glass fragments everywhere. Two guards were on duty at the time but neither were hurt. Hiyoshi got out of his car and waited until police arrived.

    Police said Hiyoshi has been charged with destruction of property, and quoted him as saying he was dissatisfied about his taxes.

    1. Atanarjuat

      Libertarian Kamikaze. Awesome.

      1. About as effective as other libertarian activism from the sound of it.

      2. LJW

        You sure he’s libertarian. Maybe he was angry that he wasn’t taxed enough?

    2. Not Adahn

      The guards didn’t beat him with the giant sticks they carry? What’s the point then?

  13. PieInTheSKy

    Meet Ash Sarkar, the Communist Who Called Piers Morgan an “Idiot”

    https://www.teenvogue.com/story/ash-sarkar-communist-called-piers-morgan-idiot

    I mean even a stopped clock…

    1. straffinrun

      Also, being a communist means being a fierce critic of the prison industrial complex and the military industrial complex.

      *Spits beer on screen*

      1. Negroni Please

        Well historically it does mean being a fierce critic of OUR prison industrial complex and OUR military industrial complex….

        1. straffinrun

          There you have it. Most of us here are communists then.

      2. gbob

        At least the gulags weren’t for profit.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I’m sure the apparatchiks running them would beg to differ.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Gold fillings don’t just grow on trees.

      3. LJW

        So what do communists do with the capitalists they don’t kill?

        1. commodious spittoon

          More executions means fewer prison beds, comrade.

      4. leonadasiv

        Being a communist means never having to be on the side of bad people / that guy

        Seriously, i dont know where you go to get a we worse prison complex than the gulags of the USSR

      5. Gadfly

        Of course he’s against prisons and an imperialistic military – he’d much prefer reeducation camps and a patriotic defense force. Things are much nicer when you whitewash them.

    2. Count Potato

      “Sarkar continued after Morgan claimed there were zero protests against Obama’s U.K. visits. (Morgan was wrong about that.)”

      Then the link goes to a picture of some Muslims. Who I severely doubt were Obama deporting Mexicans.

      “A man is held by police officers after clashes between the English Defence League and Islamic groups”

    3. Count Potato

      “It was a real mix of people. It was lots of young people, which might have been their first protest. Others were recognizable activists from anti-arms trade campaigns or Palestinian solidarity campaigns, so it put together a diverse range of political experiences.”

      So free shit and kill the Jews? That is diverse.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    More from that WaPo thing:

    But Trump is now shrugging at that confirmed lying, and he’s still not taking this act of sabotage at all seriously. Remember, Trump himself called on Russia to hack Clinton’s emails. And according to a tally by ThinkProgress, Trump publicly drew attention to the material leaked by WikiLeaks — which received it from Russia, according to the Mueller indictment — more than 100 times during the campaign. We don’t know how much influence this sabotage had. But as Democratic strategist Simon Rosenberg points out, beyond how many votes were directly moved, the DNC was badly disabled by the cyber subterfuge at a critical moment, which had to have had some kind of serious impact.

    The only conceivable explanation for the Good Ship Hillary’s sinking is that the Russians torpedoed her; she was like totally seaworthy other than that.

    And, of course, the true revelations about the DNC being completely “With Her” are bad because nobody was supposed to know, not because they were wrong.

    1. I’m trying to fight against my instinctive counterbalancing against the rabid sensationalism and emotional, visceral responses that a lot of Trump’s critics display, because I’m finding myself in the weird position of defending the guy for things I don’t actually approve of, so help me clear this up. What am I missing about the Russia thing? As I understand it, there are two points of contention. One is that Russian agents have been doing things like taking out deceptive ads on Facebook, running “fake news” via their super-secret, clandestine propaganda outlet Russia Times, or RT, and generally making nuisances of themselves. The other is that Russian intelligence illegally obtained emails from the DNC’s email servers and handed them off to Wikileaks.

      Wading through the bullshit coverage of all this, on the one hand there’s a strong implication that the Russian government is, at a minimum, not dissuading Russians from doing this stuff, and may be explicitly directing government agents to do some of this. On the other hand, thus far the only thing that has violated any laws has been the “hack” of the DNC servers, and while there was evidence of malware there wasn’t conclusive evidence that a.) it was Russian, or b.) it was specifically designed to attack that particular server. To the best of my knowledge, there hasn’t been a connection made between said malware, the illegal access of the server, and the emails winding up on Wikileaks. In other words, while the server may have been compromised that might not even be how the emails wound up getting in the hands of Wikileaks, *cough* Seth Rich *cough* . And, on mutant third hand, if the worst of everything is true, the story sans hysteria is that Russians tried through legal, albeit skeezy, means to influence American domestic politics, and Russian intelligence operatives stole internal emails from the DNC that prove that Clinton’s nomination was rigged and Sanders was deliberately shut out.

      And yet, I keep being told that I should be readying myself for a Russian invasion courtesy of our treasonous president within the hour. Seriously, a lot of people are losing their minds over this, and I just want to make sure that I’m not in fact crazy or oblivious. Is there something I’m missing here?

      1. So $0.79 from Russia is more effective than $1billion from Hillary? Why didn’t they hire the Russians to do their ad campaigns?

        Or were they damned by the truth of their own actions getting out?

        Narrative is hard.

        1. There’s a group of people who want desperately to believe that Trump is president because Russian agents manipulated our electoral system in such a way as to break it in his favor. Some people seem to genuinely believe that if they dig deep enough they’ll find irrefutable evidence of that, but there’s also a pretty substantial group of people who just go with the strategy of repeating something so often that people just accept it as fact, without having actually proven anything or even connected the dots logically. Like seriously, the emails they’re talking about detail a scam run by the DNC to invalidate the Sanders campaign in order to rig the nomination, among other things. Why is everything up until that point interesting to these people, but not that?

          1. Michael

            …but there’s also a pretty substantial group of people who just go with the strategy of repeating something so often that people just accept it as fact…

            “I can see Russia from my house!”

      2. Count Potato

        Not really.

      3. Pope Jimbo

        The other thing that chaps me about all of this Russian shit is the way no one talks about what our intelligence agencies do.

        Do you think they didn’t try to hack into Russian govt servers? Or run fake news stories to try to undermine Putin? Fuck our last president openly meddled in Israeli elections and the Brexit vote.

        And like you said, no one has proved that the email hack was Russian. Assange has said it wasn’t and so far – at least to me – his word is better than anyone in the govt or MSM.

        1. Yeah, that pisses me off too. All governments, including our own, try to influence the elections of other countries. Including allies. What the fuck is the Voice of America? Have people already forgotten that we got bitched out by Angela Merkel for listening to her cell phone? How many American-based nonprofits spend ad money in foreign countries to advocate for their positions? I mean, seriously, this is the most ridiculous bullshit I’ve seen in American politics in my lifetime.

      4. I never thought the Russian collusion story would get this ‘tarded. But here we are.

      5. The Other Kevin

        This is what I have been thinking about all morning. Am I missing something? Because this whole thing seems like just another over the top, end of the world reaction that happens every time Trump does anything.

      6. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Rand Paul is the only sane voice out there right now.

        https://twitter.com/NewsHour/status/1018988386575532032

        1. Don’t wade into the replies.

          1. Cliche Bandit

            OK, Coop, next time you give a warning use the blink tag…cause I didn’t listen and now I have lost cognitive function half my brain.

        2. He’s the only sane voice on Twitter, based on those comments. Yet again, people on the left advocating violence against people with whom they disagree. Shit, it’s like they can’t actually just “disagree”, it has to be a life-or-death struggle against an implacable foe any time somebody says something they don’t like. Everything is a crisis that warrants discarding the usual norms of social behavior.

      7. B.P.

        It’s nice to see all of these transnationalist dolts become super-duper patriotic all of the sudden. “Why won’t he stand for the United States?!” “He’s sold out our country!”

    2. Michael

      Remember, Trump himself called on Russia to hack Clinton’s emails.

      Actually, he never did that. He joked about Russia already possibly being in possession of the emails but never invoked anyone to commit a crime to his benefit.

      But don’t let my hair splitting get in the way of your heroic journalism, WaPo.

      1. I’m glad I’m not the only one to notice this.

      2. R C Dean

        As I recall, his joke was about how we couldn’t seem to lay hands on the emails we needed for a full investigation (due to obstruction and spoliation by the Clinton apparat), so maybe the Russians could help us out, since we already know that Clinton’s security was (literally) criminally inadequate.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Can parents really not explain to children about magazines? Do sports, don’t be too fat and that should cover it anyway.

    “Don’t be a self-absorbed narcissistic dimwit” helps, too.

    1. Negroni Please

      No matter how much you might want to, you can’t stop them from becoming teenagers.

      1. leonadasiv

        Legally.

      2. pan fried wylie

        True, but you can threaten them with becoming a teenager of the opposite sex, so there’s still some leverage.

  16. PieInTheSKy

    So I have been on and off the comets these days, has the Elon Musk pedo lawsuit been talked about? What was the consensus?

    1. leonadasiv

      Obviously Teslas AI is so great it can ID pedophiles before they try to get in your car.

      1. JaimeRoberto

        OMWC hardest hit.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          He’ll be ok until they come up with the Tesla panel van.

    2. PieInTheSKy

      Comments goddamnit

      1. bacon-magic

        The consensus is that Elon is right now making pedo traps to be distributed throughout the world. The taxpayers of course will subsidize it.

        1. So that “submarine” was actually a mechanism for capturing children?

          1. Atanarjuat

            And the Boring Company is constructing tunnels to traffic them.

      2. Musk will have to pay… either through a judgment, or a settlement (with a retraction and apology).

    1. PieInTheSKy

      Hmmm did not scroll through the mail sidebar in a while…

    2. Her face is a bit… off.

    3. She’s cute. Plus, if she plays her cards right through the college years she’ll come out the other end built like a brick house. In the complimentary, Commodores way, I mean. Q-fodder, if you will.

  17. A Fuggin White Male

    My wife is Russian-Moldovan. Should I be scared that she’s going to be accused of being a Kremlin agent because she’s a Trump supporter? I mean, I used to kid about that. But in light of recent news about that American University student…

    1. leonadasiv

      Yeah thats scary shit. I have friends who lived in Russia for a few years as missionaries. Will they be hauled away for ‘questioning’.

    2. LJW

      Only if you accidentally say the trigger phrase.

      1. leonadasiv

        снова сделать америку?

        1. I’m sorry, I don’t speak foreign.

        1. pan fried wylie

          It’s *dons sunglasses* For You.

    3. The Americans was a prophetic warning for our times.

    4. Cliche Bandit

      My wife is also from Russia. I do have concerns for her job prospects with these insane lefty companies in boulder if she ever gets laid off. Not so much the government…yet.

    1. No, you may not.

      1. straffinrun

        C’mon, it only takes him literally 35 seconds to spit out his first question.

    2. Atanarjuat

      Wow.

    3. Atanarjuat

      In the first season of Boondocks, they have some spittle-flecked talking head on TV shouting at MLK (imagining if he hadn’t been killed), “why can’t you just say you love America!?”

      Wolf comes off as even more unhinged here.

  18. robc

    I dont think Lou Bourdeau actually invented the shift, he just popularized it.

    1. invisible finger

      Looks like he might have popularized some type of wine.

  19. Drake

    Nobody is better at blasting the FBI than Howie Carr.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Obama urges Kenyan leaders to soothe ethnic tensions

    So what you are saying is that Barry is colluding with Kenya. //Obama-Kenya //KenyanConnection

    1. It’s a step down from his previous collusion, but, hey, he’s an ex-president, they have less to trade.

  21. PieInTheSKy

    Our phones and gadgets are now endangering the planet

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/17/internet-climate-carbon-footprint-data-centres

    But there is a big problem, centred on a power company called Dominion, which supplies the vast majority of Loudoun County’s electricity. According to a 2017 Greenpeace report, only 1% of Dominion’s total electricity comes from credibly renewable sources: 2% originates in hydroelectric plants, and the rest is split evenly between coal, gas and nuclear power. – I would think nuclear is quite clean energy

    ominion is also in the middle of a huge regional controversy about a proposed pipeline that will carry fracked gas to its power plants, – if that replaces coal it is good.

    Of I forgot magic windmills

    1. leonadasiv

      I don’t understand why hydroelectric isnt considered renewable.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        C’mon, there’ only so much water on the planet,once it spins a turbine it’s like Ruined, Man!

        1. robc

          We are never getting that entropy back!

      2. JaimeRoberto

        It is considered renewable when someone wants to boast that a high percentage of their energy supply is renewable.

    2. ruodberht

      Sounds like renewables need to step up their game.

      Really, though…when they cite these pitiful numbers, their intended message is about how neglected these forms of power generation are. But…what if the numbers are pitiful because those forms are just shitty?

      A similar thing can be seen in feminist “arguments”. If women are underrepresented in STEM, my charitable (and I think largely true) interpretation is that women aren’t terribly interested in those fields. The feminist explanation is systemic bias. But what if there isn’t bias, but you believe, like a feminist, that it’s somehow a “problem” that women are underrepresented? Then, really, you’re blaming those stupid bitches for not stepping up their game.

      Opponents with non-self-defeating arguments would make me less lazy. Step up, assholes.

      1. We just did our annual review of applications for internships, specifically web dev internships. Maybe four out of the thirty who made it to the “scan resume to make sure it’s not in crayon” stage are women. Two of them are engineers from India who are vastly overqualified and probably looking to get an extension on their work visas, and two of them think that it’s actually a design position. Like graphic design, not even web design. And I was going through specifically looking to get some chicks up in this piece, just so I could meet a woman in person that I could say “recursion” to without her throwing up or screaming and running away. No dice. This is the third year, and it’s the same every time.

        Our content manager, a woman, took a class on basic web development, just HTML and CSS. She said she made it through and never wanted to deal with it again. All of the content people are women; all of the dev or design people are men. No matter how hard we try. It’s not like, say, nursing, where there are cultural biases against men getting into the field–which nevertheless hasn’t stopped a lot of men from becoming RNs–because, especially in the case of front-end dev, the vibe is that it’s basically slightly nerdy, slightly hipster art that involves rare brushes with basic math but is mostly about making magazine covers that you can click on. There’s no “masculine” bias to web development, unlike the debatable bias being talked about in regular ol’ programming. So no, I don’t buy a systemic bias.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          If an eight year old could be eligible, ask SP.

          1. I think there’s a form or something. I’ll check with HR.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Surry nuclear plant (owned by Dominion) is the cheapest power on the grid in the Mid-Atlantic. The environuts hate Dominion with a passion.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Another school joins the lynch mob.
    TW: ESPN

    Oregon State has suspended its sponsorship with Papa John’s, school vice president and athletic director Scott Barnes announced Monday.

    The move comes days after John Schnatter, the corporation’s founder, admitted to using the N-word during an internal conference call.

    “The derogatory and insensitive comments made by Papa John’s founder John Schnatter are not reflective of Oregon State University’s values and the inclusive environment we strive to foster throughout the university community and within OSU Athletics for all student-athletes and fans,” Barnes said in a statement on Monday.

    Sticks and stones may break my bones, but hearing reports of the use of th “N-word” cause me to literally lose my capacity for rational thought.

    1. leonadasiv

      Pappa johns founder, please.

    2. robc

      Technically, he was quoting someone else. Like reading Huck Finn, only dumber (Not that reading Huck Finn is dumb).

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Back when I was in university, our history professor quoted Edmund Burke I forget the exact quote but it offended a student (it was something relating to European civilization needing to civilize Africa. I can’t remember). The student went off on the guy as the professor implored it wasn’t him saying it but that he was merely quoting Burke. To the class, this was self-evident and no one in their right mind would possibly think otherwise but not to this asshole who kept on pressing (with all the usual empty jargon weak minds use) and going off on tangents about how ‘ignorant’ the professor was (he was actually one of the best professors I had in university) to the point of holding the class hostage as the rate of rolling eyes among us grew. Even my buddy (an international business major) who sat in the class wondered who this moron was. This was c. 1993. Pre-SJW. He was ahead of his time I guess.

        Anyway. Turns out this guy dated someone we knew and he was every bit the jerk and asshole he came off to be.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Forgive the run-on.

          1. NO! *loads rock salt into shotgun*

          2. He’s made of felt, the rock salt isn’t going to do much to irritate the wound.

          3. pan fried wylie

            I thought the salt was just because it’s frangible (?) and so less-lethal than metal shot, not for the irritational effect. I mean, if you just got a chunk of your ass taken off, you think you’re gonna feel the salt in the wound on top of that?

          4. R C Dean

            Salt is lighter than lead, so it doesn’t penetrate much. Its also got lots of sharp edges, so it does a fair amount of relatively superficial damage. And I think having chunks of salt embedded in your flesh is going to cause quite a bit of pain and irritation. Next time you get a cut, put salt on it and see what you think.

          5. pan fried wylie

            Next time you get a hundred cuts, put salt in them and tell me if you notice the difference.

        2. Banned

          Idk, PCU came out in ’94, right? The internet has amplified their voices and created sturdier echo chambers, but SJWs today seem ideologically and constitutionally quite the same as those proto-SJWs.

      2. Banned

        In his apology, the retard actually said that context doesn’t matter.

        What a fucking idiot.

        1. Isn’t that the same nonsense the Scottish Judge spouted about the Nazi Pug?

    3. Rebel Scum

      using the N-word

      Via citing someone else using it…

      1. pan fried wylie

        I feel like “using” a word actually involves its deployment in a statement. Citing someone else using the word is demonstration, not usage.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Doesn’t matter, a lack of melanin combined with specific air vibrations generated from human throat tendons creates an unstoppable whirlwind of stupid.

          1. Nephilium

            Rick: Cute. Your sister’s boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded.

            Morty: Ooo, oh boy Rick, I-I don’t think you’re allowed to say that word. Ya know?

            Rick: Uh Morty, I’m not disparaging the differently abled. I’m stating the fact that if I had used this microscope it would have made me mentally retarded.

            Morty: Ok but yeah, I don’t think it’s about logic, Rick. I-I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they’re doing the right thing.

            Rick: Well that’s retarded.

          2. What’s so horrible about the word ‘microscope’?

    4. ruodberht

      Oregon State has taken an official stance against the use/mention distinction? Do they have a linguistics program to shutter? Because they might have to do that, to be consistent.

    5. Whatever, Beavers.

  23. Rebel Scum

    CNN continues to prove critics right

    Former National Security Council Comms Director Michael Anton was scheduled to appear on CNN’s “Erin Burnett OutFront” on Monday night but canceled citing his distrust of the network.

    CNN’s Erin Burnett tweeted about the cancellation, writing: “Michael Anton, Former Trump NSC spox, canceled his appearance on Outfront tonight because he couldn’t defend @realDonaldTrump today.”…

    “From the moment President Trump’s press conference ended, CNN’s coverage was atrocious and histrionic,” Anton said in the statement. “I did cancel, because I knew that whatever I said, CNN would try to use me as a cudgel with which to bash the President. I support President Trump and I never want to be misused as an instrument to undermine him or his administration.”

    “As soon as CNN was informed of my withdrawal, they threatened to cite that withdrawal on air to bash the President,” Anton continued. “And that’s exactly what they did. It’s clear I made the right decision.”

    ///FactsFirst

    1. leonadasiv

      Its trumps fault. He called them fake news so much that they just sank to that level.

    2. Count Potato

      Why even mention who couldn’t be there?

  24. ElspethFlashman

    OT: Lord H and I are on vacation /stay-cation. My goals are: to see if I can not gain more than 3 pounds (lol), how long can I make the box of wine last without being ashamed (ok, I have no shame, for this item), and how many times can I eat fish?

    1. Drake

      Are you punishing yourself for some terrible deed?

    2. straffinrun

      Enjoy. The daughter and I are on stay cation starting tomorrow, but the wife is working another two weeks until then. Burp and fart contests FTW.

    3. Sean

      That box lasts longer if you switch to cocktails after 2 glasses of wine.

    4. Re: box of wine, are we talking hours or days?

      I’m taking a mental health day today since I’ve got zippy to do at work, the wife’s traveling on business, and the MIL is picking my daughter up from daycare. I’m toying with the idea of trying to keep pace with William Powell through the first three Thin Man movies, but I may run out of vermouth.

      1. I’m toying with the idea of trying to keep pace with William Powell through the first three Thin Man movies

        Please do not try…you will end up dead.

        1. “How many drinks have you had?”
          “This will make six martinis.”
          “All right. Will you bring me five more Martinis, Leo? Line them right up here.”

  25. Count Potato

    “I think there are a lot of perceptional things I’ve been dodging my whole life. I may not look like I belong at these real estate meetings with these white men who are buttoned up with their suits and ties: that isn’t me. They never look at me first; they always look at my husband first. I still deal with that, but you’ve just got to realize this is the nature of the business. I’m not going to internalize it. It’s the way this business is and it’s antiquated and it’s BS, but I always remind them that I’m the freaking boss. I’m the one who makes the final decisions when it comes to where we’re opening our next location. That’s something I’m currently still dealing with now. Women have to deal with so much of the same crap they dealt with in the past. I grew up working in nightclubs, bars, and restaurants, dealing with chauvinistic men. I kind of brush it under the rug now because I’ve been so exposed to it my whole life.”

    https://www.teenvogue.com/gallery/chillhouse-ceo-cyndi-ramirez-fulton-interview-fossil

    Maybe get some pants without holes?

    1. If you’re at real estate meetings with your husband, I’m guessing you’re either buying or seeling a house. So I’d wager this is not related to your day job – if you even have one. I’d wager you’re giving off a “not really stable” vibe and they turn to the member of your couple that is less crazy.

      As for women in real estate, I’ve found them to be a substantial percentage of participants. Especially as realtors. Not counting potential sellers, the only men I interacted with when buying my house were the loan officer (who I never met in person) and my lawyer (who I met once at the closing). So I don’t know what you’re talking about.

      1. Ah, I see, getting space for a business.

        Well, that changes zilch about the rest of my commentary.

        Stop exuding crazy, lady.

      2. Drake

        I think the agent in every real estate transaction I’ve been involved in has been a woman. A women dressed in business attire, not a pajama top and ripped jeans like a sophomore on the way to sociology class.

        1. She does not look like someone about to engage in some sort of business transaction. Rebelling against ties is fun and stuff, but dressing appropriately for a business meeting is a signal to the other participants that you’re going to take it seriously; a person who can take the time and effort to dress appropriately for the occasion and still get there in time is a person who is probably responsible and reliable. There’s also more generally a respect issue, i.e. showing the people you’re meeting that this event is more important to you than, say, washing your car or stumbling into a bar to get a beer. And finally, there’s a power signalling issue, which she sees every time someone ignores her and talks to her husband, who is probably dressed in at least business casual. People who are in charge of things dress well because they have money, and they look more formal because they move in higher, more refined circles where more formal clothing is the norm–that’s the perception. People who wear ripped jeans and a boyfriend shirt are liberal arts majors who work at H&M sometimes.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      If I were her I would be mad because she only got 4 casual pics of her lounging about in a restaurant for this article. When they interview Bezos or other male shit lords, they get at least 7 candid photos of them rolling around on a bear skin rug to go along with their interviews.

      Smart attractive women should accept that they have a huge advantage in business and just go with it. Don’t try to pretend that you are a victim. You won the lottery in life.

    3. Michael

      “I always remind them that I’m the freaking boss.”

      I’m sure you do.

      At every chance you get.

      1. You know what they say about having to tell people you’re the leader…

    4. Raston Bot

      clearly women are property. is that what she’s looking for?

      also, don’t bring your husband to *your* business meetings.

      1. I got the distinct impression that he might do more of the business talk. I don’t know why. I think it was the unhinged, looking for a reason to be offended vibe I got from the author.

    5. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m sure she’s a real peach to work with.

      If I were cutting a deal with her, the easy thing to do would be to suck up to her displays of superiority (masked inferiority complex). She’s making herself easier to manipulate by putting on a show like that.

      1. Oh, man, soooo many of my ideas would magically turn into her ideas. My ex-stepmother was just like that, and my dad used to pull me aside and say, “Watch this…” and then basically feed her an opinion. By the end of the discussion she was arguing my dad’s point against him, at which point he’d shrug and say something like, “Ok, well, if it’s that big a deal let’s just do it your way.”

  26. Certified Public Asshat

    A hilariously disjointed article:

    How to Stop Giving Amazon Your Money

    TLDR: use these other services, that we also hate for not being politically perfect.

  27. Rufus the Monocled

    Trump should go to Kenya and make peace happen.

    And then Tweet asking for Obama’s Nobel peace prize.

    It would be glorious.

    1. Count Potato

      Captain Outrageous is an old porn site.

    2. PieInTheSKy

      goddamnit

      1. AlmightyJB

        + goddamnit.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          ::chortles and rubs hands with glee::

          My work is done for the day.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      double dumbass on me

    4. Michael

      “You wanna see my Tootsie Roll?”

  28. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t understand why hydroelectric isnt considered renewable.

    Why do you hate the little fishies?

    1. Because I have to throw the little ones back and can’t cook them.

      1. commodious spittoon

        You fish with the little ones to get the big ones.

        /Mueller probe

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          That will get you a big ‘ol fine from the DNR. If you keep it up, your drivers license as well. Extra sassy will get your guns taken and your privilege of hunting and fishing on the kings land revoked.

          1. commodious spittoon

            What, really? You can’t fish with minnows or whatever?

          2. ChipsnSalsa

            https://dnr.wi.gov/topic/fishing/questions/fishasbait.html

            Further discovery…

            Caught fish can be used but each bait fish caught will count against your limit and the fish must meet any minimum requirements on that water.

        2. Don Escaped Texas

          Well played

  29. The Late P Brooks

    If you haven’t been to NYC hotspot Chillhouse yet, we strongly urge you to do so as soon as you can. The Big Apple hardly seems like the place most go to relax, which is exactly why the city was more than ready for the cafe-spa to come in and revolutionize the industry.

    The brain behind the brand is none other than famed entrepreneur Cyndi Ramirez-Fulton, who was already the founder of blog Taste the Style and a co-partner in the The Garret Bar, Dinnertable, and Dullboy before opening her new zen Lower East Side space.

    *loads sock with nickels, books flight to New York*

    1. Raston Bot

      ^heard that in Bill Hader’s Stefon voice from SNL?

      1. pan fried wylie

        I didn’t realize who I was hearing it as until you reminded me, thank you.

    2. Man, reading that bio…that says “delusional arm-candy” to me. I mean, first, partner already means “co-“, so you don’t have to say it unless you’re, you know, not really a “partner”, per se, in a technical sense, as it were. I know smart, talented women with authority, and nothing about this broad reads that way to me.

    3. B.P.

      I had a girlfriend a long time ago who is now one of these self-made “tastemakers”. It’s completely insufferable.

    4. famed entrepreneur Cyndi Ramirez-Fulton,

      Totally famed.

  30. PieInTheSKy

    More than 60 British rabbis have written a joint letter saying Labour has “chosen to ignore the Jewish community,” as the party’s ruling body prepares for a meeting on its antisemitism code of conduct.

    Some of the UK’s most senior rabbis, in a letter to the Guardian, said Labour was acting in an “insulting and arrogant way” by choosing – in its new code – to amend an international definition of antisemitism.

    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/jul/16/68-rabbis-labour-chooses-ignore-uk-jewish-community

    1. Now they notice this?

    2. commodious spittoon

      A code of conduct to address rampant antisemitism. Doesn’t that just sum up the progressive left in a nutshell. White identitarian bigotry is everywhere but invisible, because we swim in it like fish in water and don’t recognize how pervasive it secretly is, even though pinning it down in any concrete and consistent way is difficult and atoning for it is impossible.

      But manifest bigotry for Jews is a teensy problem that we’ll iron out at the next Party Congress by changing a couple provisions in our code of conduct.

      1. “The Labour Party does not have a problem with Antisematism, we have a problem with the Jews.”

        – Labour

  31. gbob

    No wonder they were so bad at real estate negotiation.

    This spring, I wrote a column suggesting someone should try to buy Remington, one of the country’s oldest and largest firearms makers, and transform the company into a model for advanced and responsible gun manufacturing.

    A surprising investor made a bid to do just that. Perhaps not surprisingly, Remington’s management rejected the offer.

    The proposal came from the Navajo Nation, one of the largest Native American tribes in the country with more than 350,000 members and land holdings of more than 27,000 square miles in Arizona, New Mexico and Utah.

    The Navajo Nation — which controls a $3.3 billion investment trust — sent a letter to Remington in May offering to buy the company for $475 million to $525 million, according to a draft of the letter reviewed by The New York Times. The tribe planned to pay for the purchase in cash.

    TW: It’s the New York Times and it’s really, really stupid.

    1. Chipwooder

      1)Buy gun company
      2)Set about creating guns that no one actually wants
      3)????????
      4)Profit!

      1. Step 3 – Sell to virtue signalling lefty for more than you bought the company.

    2. Endless Mike

      The Navajo Nation is the poorest American Indian tribe in the US. I wonder why.

    3. which controls a $3.3 billion investment trust

      Stewards of the public monies, them.

  32. AlmightyJB

    Minnesota woman. Probation? Seriously? She must give the best BJ’s in the universe.

    https://www.nbc4i.com/news/u-s-world/day-care-owner-gets-probation-for-hanging-toddler-from-a-noose/1306794582

    1. Chipwooder

      This kind of bullshit really pisses me off:

      Judge Jay Quam agreed with the assessment by doctors that Karia was “a low risk” to reoffend. He called her actions “the perfect storm of factors unlikely to ever be repeated.”

      Who fucking cares???? She committed serious crimes that she deserves to be punished for, regardless of whether or not they think she’ll ever do it again.

      1. Count Potato

        Woman generally get significantly lower sentences for the same crimes.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      True fact. The judge in that case is the older brother of one of my best friends growing up and has personally beaten me up a bunch of times.

      He is actually very libertarian dude and a good guy (despite childhood abuse).

      I saw that story and wondered what was up (knowing who Jay is).

      1. AlmightyJB

        I think there a lot of cases where people are over sentenced but damn. What would she have to do to get removed from society? I think we’ll probably find out.

        1. Chipwooder

          Yep. I generally, as a rule, try to err on the side of too little incarceration, but the bitch tried to hang a toddler. If that doesn’t deserve at least a few years in the clink, then almost nothing does.

        2. I’m ok with the sentence provided she was released directly into the custody of the child’s parents in an isolated field far from prying eyes.

    3. commodious spittoon

      The defense argued for probation, pointing out that Karia already has served time in jail and lost her child care career.

      Sure, he raped a patient, but he lost his gynecologist’s license. Isn’t that punishment enough?

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Curiouser

    It’s now clear why Papa John’s board of directors asked former Chairman John Schnatter to stop talking to the press.

    Schnatter, in an interview Friday with a Louisville, Kentucky, CBS station, accused media agency Laundry Service of trying to blackmail Papa John’s for $6 million to keep quiet about a May conference call in which the founder admitted he used the N-word. He also told the TV station that he was provoked into using that language and accused officials who removed his name from a gym of “cracking.”

    Schnatter told Kentucky CBS affiliate WLKY that an executive at Laundry Service threatened Papa John’s that “if I don’t get my F-ing money, I’m going to bury the founder.” The Louisville-based pizza chain issued a press release at 11:46 p.m. Sunday, saying Schnatter was prohibited from talking to the press or making “any further statements to the media regarding the company, its business or employees.”

    ——–

    While he again apologized for using the racially charged slur, Schnatter told the TV station he was baited into using that language.

    “I was just repeating what somebody else said. I was actually kind of provoked,” he said of what was supposed to be a confidential media training session. “They were promoting that kind of vocabulary, and they kept hitting it and I was like no, we’re not going to do that … that’s not what we’re about.”

    Schnatter said the other party on the call, which he didn’t identify, repeatedly used the word. “By the fourth or fifth pass, I just said, ‘No, we’re not gonna be part of any such thing. So-and-so used the N-word, and we don’t use the N-word, and we’re not gonna use the N-word. And that’s it,’” he said.

    Now he says Laundry Service (WTF? edgy name?) tried to blackmail and extort him after the call, and took the story to Forbes when he wouldn’t pay.Weird.

    Also- good luck with that gag order, Board of Directors.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Also- good luck with that gag order, Board of Directors.

      They could try serving him a slice.

      1. *opera applause*

      2. pan fried wylie

        [insert Pappi’s scenes from Seinfeld]

  34. Yusef drives a Kia

    Styxhexenblabla just said something about Nerve Gas being used on our Soldiers during the first Gulf war, any truth to that?
    Paging GW1 Veterans,….

    1. Count Potato

      Someone should send him a glibs shirt.

    2. Chipwooder

      A lot of people have claimed that, and attributed “Gulf War syndrome” to it. No idea if there’s any truth to it.

    3. commodious spittoon

      It was aspartame.

  35. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Frum was trying for most hysterical take on Trumputin, but Chait is the undisputed champ of pants-wetting paranoia.

    It is often said that Donald Trump has had the same nationalistic, zero-sum worldview forever. But that isn’t exactly true. Yes, his racism and mendacity have been evident since his youth, but those who have traced the evolution of his hypernationalism all settle on one year in particular: 1987. Trump “came onto the political stage in 1987 with a full-page ad in the New York Times attacking the Japanese for relying on the United States to defend it militarily,” reported Edward Alden, a senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations. “The president has believed for 30 years that these alliance commitments are a drain on our finite national treasure,” a White House official told the Washington Post columnist Josh Rogin. Tom Wright, another scholar who has delved into Trump’s history, reached the same conclusion. “1987 is Trump’s breakout year. There are only a couple of examples of him commenting on world politics before then.”

    What changed that year? One possible explanation is that Trump published The Art of the Deal, which sped up his transformation from an aggressive, publicity-seeking New York developer to a national symbol of capitalism. But the timing for this account does not line up perfectly — the book came out on November 1, and Trump had begun opining loudly on trade and international politics two months earlier. The other important event from that year is that Trump visited Moscow.

    During the Soviet era, Russian intelligence cast a wide net to gain leverage over influential figures abroad. (The practice continues to this day.) The Russians would lure or entrap not only prominent politicians and cultural leaders, but also people whom they saw as having the potential for gaining prominence in the future. In 1986, Soviet ambassador Yuri Dubinin met Trump in New York, flattered him with praise for his building exploits, and invited him to discuss a building in Moscow. Trump visited Moscow in July 1987. He stayed at the National Hotel, in the Lenin Suite, which certainly would have been bugged. There is not much else in the public record to describe his visit, except Trump’s own recollection in The Art of the Deal that Soviet officials were eager for him to build a hotel there. (It never happened.)

    1. Chipwooder

      Trump’s most incredible, against-the-odds achievement to date is his ability to make leftists retroactively into harsh anticommunists who were tenacious in opposing the USSR.

    2. Count Potato

      Big nothingburger.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      “…Yes, his racism and mendacity have been evident since his youth,”

      it has?

      I wouldn’t mind some real, hard proof. Not the hearsay that passes as such.

    4. Idle Hands

      It’s honestly the craziest shit I’ve read yet. It’s beautiful mind crazy.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Get all of that? The Russians picked Trump as future President three decades ago.

        So when Trump was a dark horse in the GOP primary and nobody thought he could win, the Russians knew. They knew because they had been planning it for 30 years. They even got him to switch parties!

    5. Viking1865

      “. “The president has believed for 30 years that these alliance commitments are a drain on our finite national treasure,”

      I’m sure this CFR scholar was able to instantly and quickly demonstrate how this was a false conception of reality, since it seems to be so self-evident to the Beltway/Manhattan class of Hamiltonian types that open ended and one sided foreign commitments are such a good deal for America as a whole.

    6. Michael
      1. B.P.

        Getting smacked around in jail is no laughing matter.

    7. Rebel Scum

      He stayed at the National Hotel, in the Lenin Suite, which certainly would have been bugged

      Which is relevant how? It’s possible they might have potentially embarrassing behavior recorded, but Trump wasn’t a politician with any kind of security clearance at the time.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Every hotel room in every Bloc nation was bugged. If you traveled over there, they recorded you, they monitored you. It’s irrelevant at best.

        18 year old me is probably on some old East German tapes. I’ll be starting my run for President in other fifteen years, should come in handy.

      2. So he went to a surveillance state and they didn’t make an exception for him? Clearly, the wiley Russkies had our number years ago.

  36. MikeS

    A very good article from Popular Mechanics about the history of steel:

    The Entire History of Steel

    From:

    King Tut had a dagger made of iron—a treasured object in the ancient world worthy of few more than a pharaoh. When British archaeologist Howard Carter found Tutankhamun’s tomb nearly a century ago and laid eyes on this object, it was clear the dagger was special. What archaeologists didn’t know at the time was that the blade came from space.

    Iron that comes from meteorites has a higher nickel content than iron dug up from the ground and smelted by humans. In the years since Carter’s big discovery, researchers have found that not only King Tut’s dagger but also virtually all iron goods dating to the Bronze Age were made from iron that fell from the sky.

    To:

    In 1970, U.S. Steel’s run as the world’s largest steel company ended after seven decades, supplanted by Japan’s Nippon Steel. China became the world’s top steelmaker in the 1990s, and Bethlehem Steel closed its plant in Bethlehem in 1995. It wasn’t until the late 20th century that most American steel mills finally adopted the basic oxygen process. As of 2016, the United States ranked fourth in steel production according to the World Steel Association.

    TW: Since PM is woke AF these days, the last few paragraphs are about making steel production Gaia-approved.

    1. Chipwooder

      Popular Mechanics has gone that route too? I knew Popular Science was long since in the tank, but PM seemed much less so for a long time. Too bad.

      1. MikeS

        Oh wait…I may have been thinking of PopSci.

        I can’t say if PM has followed suit. I don’t regularly read it. I sure hope they didn’t.

        1. Chipwooder

          I don’t read it so often anymore either, so I can’t say for sure, but PopSci definitely went totes woke a long time ago.

    2. Tejicano

      “This you can trust” – Spot the quote.

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      “Iron that comes from meteorites has a higher nickel content”

      Can’t they at least have a metallurgist edit this stuff for basic technical coherence?

      1. pan fried wylie

        “Meteoric Iron-alloys have a higher nickel content”

        Better?

  37. PieInTheSKy

    Natural Selection in Modern Humans (UK; N ≈ 500,000) http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2017/12/12/1707227114.abstract … Traits currently favoured by selection: Younger age at first birth in ♀️; higher BMI in ♂️ Traits being selected against: Intelligence; educational achievement (!)

    https://twitter.com/SteveStuWill/status/1019033760874938368

    1. Educational Achievement is not a genetic trait.

      1. PieInTheSKy

        Tendency to higher achievement may have genetic components or not… But in itself it is obviously not

      2. A Leap at the Wheel

        If it can get you some strange or keep you alive long enough to do so, its a genetic trait that can be selected upon. Wealth generation and land ownership are genetic traits. They are not phenotype traits like eye color or blood type. Genetic traits are the result of a particular phenotype mediated through the environment. “Genes load the gun, the environment pulls the trigger.”

        Height, cardiac health, and muscle attachment points are phenotype.
        In 1818, an exceptional specimen in height, cardiac health, and muscle attachment points might be a logger and live a middle class life, attracting a middle-of-the-road wife.
        In 2018, an exceptional specimen in height, cardiac health, and muscle attachment points might be an NFL pass rusher, bank tens of millions a year, and attract as much top-shelf female attention as he could possibly want.

    2. Gadfly

      I wouldn’t be surprised if this has always been the case. Those traits being selected for are all advantageous to survival and procreation. And the traits being selected against aren’t surprising either, as successful people have always tended to have fewer children, on average (for example, in ancient Rome they had a law to encourage the nobility to have more children, because they were having so few the emperor thought this would be harmful to society).

    3. Banned

      What about thiccness?

  38. Chipwooder

    For all the screeching about Trump and Russia, a)why doesn’t anyone seem to be interested in the fact that the DNC has never submitted its servers as evidence? b)why is it almost never reported that there was an attempt to hack the RNC’s servers as well, but their security was better?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      And the RNC cooperated with the FBI in the investigation, while the DNC hid its servers and ultimately had them destroyed, submitting an analysis from Crowdstrike instead (owned by a Russian by the way)

      1. JaimeRoberto

        Ukranian, I think.

    2. Drake

      The whole thing is dumb beyond belief.

      – The Dems destroyed the “evidence” probably because it would point to Seth Rich and / or their own crooked Pakistani administrators. And they were worried in general about what other kinds of dirt would come pouring out of those servers if a law enforcement agency ever examined them.

      – The actual “hack” just showed that the DNC had rigged the primaries for Hillary. It never changed vote counts or affected the election apparatus as the Dems like to imply. If it was the in fact the Russians (highly doubtful), we owe them some gratitude for exposing the rot.

      1. Chipwooder

        Exactly – they act as if there were Russians tampering with voting machines or something. All that happened was that information that was embarrassing and damaging to the Democratic Party was made public, yet I’m supposed to be storming a recruiting office to join up today to go fight the Rooskies as if it were December 8, 1941?

        1. Viking1865

          Yep, this keeps coming back: even if it was the Russians who hacked the DNC and not Seth Rich (and there is almost no information to support that it was the Russians, and a good amount to indicate it was Rich, or another person inside the DNC, perhaps a pissed off Bernie fan), all they did was release true information about the Democratic Party. Not once have the Democrats or their media lapdogs once made the case that the leaked emails were falsified.

          This whole thing is basically a crooked CEO blaming the whistleblower for his prison sentence, and not the fact that he embezzled 10 million from the company.

          1. Chipwooder

            Honestly, it makes this scene from Liar, Liar keep running in my head:

            Jim Carrey: I object, Your Honor!
            Judge: On what grounds?
            Carrey: Because it’s very damaging to my case!!

  39. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday: Adrenaline Fueled Edition

    According to federal law on treason, 18 U.S. Code § 2381: “Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.”–snip–

    And in Article III of the U.S. Constitution, it says: “Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying war against them, or in adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort. No person shall be convicted of treason unless on the testimony of two witnesses to the same overt act, or on confession in open court.”

    Laurence H. Tribe, Carl M. Loeb University Professor and a professor of constitutional law at Harvard Law School, told Newsweek: “If one defines ‘war’ to include cyberwar—e.g. by deliberately hacking into a nation’s computer-based election infrastructure—then what we witnessed in Helsinki was President Trump openly aiding and abetting the Russian military’s ongoing war against America rather than protecting against that Putin-led cyber-invasion.

    “That in turn could reasonably be defined as ‘treason’ within the meaning of 18 USC 2381 and Art. III of the US Constitution. “Some scholars would resist that modern definition as one the authors of the Constitution could not have contemplated, and others would insist on limiting the definition to situations involving a state of formally declared war, but views like Brennan’s are far from wild,” said Tribe.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Well if we do decide that “war” includes cyberwar, I’m sure we will get right on jailing all the hackers our intelligence agencies employ to hack into other countries infrastructure. Right? Because they would be guilty of engaging in war without getting a declaration of war from Congress.

    2. Count Potato

      I have a serious confession to make. Last week, I put Russian dressing on a cheeseburger. So should I turn my self in, or wait for the FBI to pick me up?

      1. Drake

        The taste police are on their way.

        1. Chipwooder

          It’s the suede denim secret police,
          They have come for your uncool niece

    3. R C Dean

      What an embarrassment. Makes me glad I’ve never given Harvard Law School a penny.

      If one defines ‘war’ to include cyberwar

      That’s a pretty big fucking if, Larry. Hacking into a computer = dropping bombs?

      —e.g. by deliberately hacking into a nation’s computer-based election infrastructure

      Something for which there is exactly zero evidence, and which Obama himself (PBUH) assured us was not happening.

      And the rest is a textbook example of how, once you start from bad premises, you will wind up spouting nonsense.

      1. Nephilium

        —e.g. by deliberately hacking into a nation’s computer-based election infrastructure

        Something for which there is exactly zero evidence, and which Obama himself (PBUH) assured us was not happening.

        Or he believes that the DNC’s mail servers are election infrastructure. Not that there’s any evidence that the DNC servers were even hacked…

  40. Michael

    This video might be better titled “How to Make the Normies Completely Subservient to Your Every Ridiculous Whim”:

    https://lifehacker.com/how-to-be-a-better-ally-to-the-queer-community-1827017520?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=Lifehacker&jwsource=cl

    1. Chipwooder

      many people don’t know exactly how to perform their duties as an ally

      “Duties”? Blow it out your ass. I don’t owe anyone a goddamned thing. I do my best to treat everyone with courtesy and respect in my dealings with them. Beyond that, kiss my ass.

      1. My response is “Duties? I tolerate your existance. Anything more has to be earned.”

        I don’t talk to people much.

        1. Tejicano

          “Duties? Yeah, I did that in the Marines. And to you I will extend common curtesy and basic respect. However, If you demand any more than that, well, that’s the reason why I arm myself in public to the extent of what is legal – and probably more than you have a concept for.”

      2. commodious spittoon

        If they mean excise duties. Sure, I’ll take the twerps’ lunch money.

    2. Count Potato

      How is that a “life hack”?

    3. wdalasio

      many people don’t know exactly how to perform their duties as an ally

      I’m sure it needs no saying in this forum, but I think there’s an entirely appropriate response to such a suggestion. Something to the effect of “Fuck off, slaver!”

  41. Warty

    It’s beautiful.

    Srsly, tho. Beautiful.

    1. B.P.

      Cool.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    The other important event from that year is that Trump visited Moscow.

    *cue ominous music*

  43. The Late P Brooks

    many people don’t know exactly how to perform their duties as an ally

    “Enact my labor, you dupes.”

  44. A Fuggin White Male

    Honest question: how long until another James Hodgkinson takes a shot at Trump?

    Also, is this the CIA’s end game? Is this what they want? Is this why the media – including Fox News – are parroting the same talking points? So much talk of treason, there are plenty of fringe people out there that are now genuinely convinced they’d be a hero if they killed Trump. And all it takes is one.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      And then the War began…………….

      1. A Fuggin White Male

        And that’s what I’m afraid of.

        They want war. They don’t care if it’s war with Russia, or war with ourselves. The media thrive on conflict.

    2. commodious spittoon

      How many campus progs and pussy hat paraders are just larping their civic engagement, and how many take the talk of treason seriously? Hell, how many even show up for off-year elections?

      I was a teenager for most of Bush 2. I remember it was pretty loony on the left, but I can’t remember whether we were ever this hysterical. Bushitler was part of the globalist arms-dealing elite trying to perpetuate war forever, he was a chimpanzee and Cheney was his Satanic organ grinder, Rumsfeld and Rice were his house n–rs, Bush told FEMA to stand down because he hates blacks, NCLB would kill funding to failing schools that needed it most, they wanted to privatize Social Security so their bankster friends could make off with America’s savings, the housing crash was his fault, etc., etc.

      If anything, it seems like the left has lost the specifics and simply degenerated into autistic screeching.

      1. The Other Kevin

        We talked about this a little yesterday. They’ve lost all credibility with anyone but their die hard base because they go over the top ape-shit over every. Single Fucking. Thing.

        I’m predicting a backlash, in the form of Republican gains this next election. Your everyday Joe Voter has got to be getting tired of this, especially because most of it does not apply to him. The stuff that does, such as jobs and health insurance, are actually improving.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I just wish they were doing less outrage mobbing at restaurants and bars and more shutting down freeway traffic. How are you going to take the message to the people unless you make them late to work a couple times a week?

        2. “Your everyday Joe Voter has got to be getting tired of this, especially because most of it does not apply to him. The stuff that does, such as jobs and health insurance, are actually improving.”

          Also, in what universe is going to war with Russia preferable to diplomatic negotiations? That seems to be what they’re suggesting. Like I said yesterday; they hated Bush because he started wars; now they hate Trump because he won’t start wars. SMH.

        3. R C Dean

          I’m predicting a backlash, in the form of Republican gains this next election.

          I’d like there to be a backlash, and I’d like people to tune out the screeching. I’m trying to be cautious, thought, about seeing what I want to see.

      2. It was pretty nuts, but this seems much worse. Maybe it’s rose-tinted glasses, but nobody was talking about treason, and certainly nobody was advocating violence. I never would have thought I’d yearn for the salad days of the left during the W administration, but here we are.

    3. This is an excellent point. Just as I’ve been saying for the past couple of days that we seem to be lurching closer to a Kristallnacht-type mass assault on anyone not deemed Prog enough for the #Resistance’s tastes; I think not just Trump, but any Pub politician should be very afraid of violence.

      1. Chipwooder

        I notice none of these people are following Jim Mattis around. Wonder why that is?

        1. Has he done anything since being appointed whatever post he’s in?

          1. Chipwooder

            Still on your anti-jarhead soapbox, I see?

            Not particularly. Still isn’t someone I’d choose to fuck with.

          2. My question had nothing to do with his former service. If he’s not doing anything that gets their attention, they won’t notice he exists.

          3. R C Dean

            Well, the military just released “gender neutral” fitness requirements that are a real change from the former ones. For lack of a better term, more “crossfitty”, and at least initially not tuned to allow women to qualify.

            So, if (big if) they stick to that, expect a fair of women to wash out. That’ll get the SJW’s attention.

          4. AlexinCT

            They will have exceptions. Shit, they are trying hard to force the SF units to change their standards to allow even one woman a chance to pass.

          5. R C Dean

            Has he done anything since being appointed whatever post he’s in?

            You mean, other than bomb a Russian airbase and kill a bunch of Russian “mercenaries”?

          6. commodious spittoon

            But how many more Russians would he kill except Trump is in Putin’s pocket??

    1. The person misidentified as the Russian was someone who actually worked there.

      1. Chipwooder

        Yes, she’s an NSA staffer, and she looks nothing like the Russian chick other than having a faintly similar hair color.

    2. Count Potato

      So blue. Much checkmark.

  45. Just one of these days, I’d like for a Glib to say “hey what is my girlfriend doing on there?”

    http://archive.is/vfuXy

    I’d like to rule 34 it with 34.

    1. Chipwooder

      I’m pretty sure most of us would be happy to be able to say that.

    2. invisible finger

      I’m too old. If my daughters or nieces show up I won’t say a thing.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I dated 32 once.

      She has totally sharp knees in person.

  46. Chipwooder

    Top. Men.

    Christ, I don’t even leave my phone in my car ever!

    1. Count Potato

      “Odds on the team wasn’t being followed and this wasn’t a terrorist group stealing the materials, statistics from the San Antonio police department indicate that this Marriott had 87 thefts between 2016 and 2017.

      One of the employees who lost the materials was given an award the very next month. There was no trail to following for the missing plutonium, “no useable prints, no worthwhile surveillance video of the crime, and no witnesses.””

      Marriott needs to buy some cameras.

    2. Drake

      Holy shit. I wonder if it was a really lucky random crook or some kind of a spy.

      1. Count Potato

        It was probably a random crook, who now has cancer.

      2. A random crook is liable to just chuck it, and they’ll be a radioactive lump in a landfill for the next few million years.

        1. *there’ll not they’ll

        2. AlexinCT

          Plutonium’s half life (Pu-239) is only 24.1K years. Pu-240/241 have very short half lives ranging in decades (that is why they are even more deadly as they put out more radiation). I don’t think you need a few million years for that landfill to be clean, but then again all of us will be gone before this shit decays anyway.

          1. I could be pedantic and point out that half life is just that – how long for, and you’ll keep going by halves as time goes on, plus factoring in the decay products own radioactivity and decay rate.

            But the truth is, I was thinking of Uranium when I made the remark.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Those are check sources for a scaler or field instruments. It was dumb to leave them in the vehicle but it isn’t a big deal at all as long as the thieves dont grind them up and snort them.

      1. Chipwooder

        Pfffffft, you and your facts.

  47. Count Potato

    If I were Trump I’d send those Mexican kids to Russia.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Nah, Russia is importing White south African Farmers,

  48. Gadfly

    From the Obama article:

    KOGELO, Kenya (Reuters) – Former U.S. President Barack Obama urged Kenya’s leaders on Monday to turn their backs on the divisive ethnic politics that have frequently spilled over into violence and to stamp down on corruption.

    It’s interesting to me that he would comment on internal affairs of a foreign nation while there – on the one hand, I can see why you’d want to bring up things you think need to be addressed, but on the other hand it seems bad form to criticize your hosts.

    It will be interesting to see if he’s consistent on the next stop of his trip:

    After Kenya, Obama will travel to South Africa, where he will deliver a speech marking the 100th anniversary of the birth of anti-apartheid icon Nelson Mandela.

    The current government of South Africa has just as many issues as that of Kenya, but my bet would be Obama won’t subject them to the same criticism. Props to him if he does, but it has seemed for a while that the ANC has been able to use memories of their past good deeds as a shield against criticism of their current malfeasance.

    1. Chipwooder

      If anyone is an expert on divisive ethnic politics, it’s Barack Obama.

    2. Drake

      Maybe they’ll let him shoot a couple of white farmers.

    3. Viking1865

      ” to use memories of their past good deeds”

      What past good deeds?

      Like it’s kind of hilarious how much a curve the ANC is graded on. They didn’t go full Zimbabwe the first five years after taking power, they waited 20 years to do it……so……yay?

      “Hey Nelson, great job not immediately allowing your psycho ex wife to murder ALL of her political opponents, just some of them. You’re a real statesman.”

      Something something soft bigotry of low expectations.

      1. They invented a new method of public torture and execution, that has to count for something!

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Where I bet Obama will not mention the evil, barbaric and heinous crimes committed by blacks against whites in South Africa.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Amnesty for White South African Farmers!

  49. Count Potato

    We need to send troops to Maine and Washington State to secure our moose and flying squirrels.

    1. Chipwooder

      More Russian meddling!!

        1. acktschually, Fearless Leader is Pottsylvanian.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Vigilante thought police

    Members of the far-right “Proud Boys” were chased out of a Los Angeles bar on Saturday by a group of democratic socialist protesters.

    Video from the incident shows the left-wing activists shouting “No Proud Boys, no KKK, no fascist USA” at the group at L.A. bar The Griffin.

    The L.A. chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) shared video of the incident on Twitter, in which their members and others from anti-gentrification group Defend North East Los Angeles can be heard chanting and yelling “F— you fascist,” “Get out of here, Nazi” and “Facist pigs, squeal — you’re all swine.”

    ————

    “Last night our members and allies in Defend North East LA ran a proud boy meet up out of the Griffin in Atwater Village,” the DSA wrote on Twitter. “The bar knew about it and the manager defended them, but we shut it down anyway. Don’t let nazis convene in your city!”

    Why do I envision a lot of purse-swinging?

    1. Chipwooder

      The DSA is a bunch of mendacious pieces of shit.

      The Proud Boys are a bunch of mendacious pieces of shit.

      Fuck em all, I hope they all kill each other.

      1. Michael

        The Proud Boys are a bunch of mendacious pieces of shit.

        How so? I’m not trying to defend them; I’m genuinely wondering, as I’ve never read anything about this group that struck me as particularly outrageous.

        1. A Fuggin White Male

          They’re certainly not the right-wing equivalent of Antifa. Not even close.

        2. I thought they’re basically about anti-PC and not spankin’ it, but I don’t know a bunch about them.

    2. Brett L

      Why do I envision a lot of purse-swinging?
      On both sides.

      The bar knew about it and the manager defended them, but we shut it down anyway.
      Is this a quotation from the Beer Hall Putsch or what?

      1. Chipwooder

        The actual story of the Beer Hall Putsch is kind of hilarious. They storm the Bürgerbräukeller, confront the three Bavarian leaders in front of the crowd, then take them into a back room where the three guys simply keep saying “No” as Hitler first demands and then pleads for their support, the Nazis finally just release them, the authorities show up, the Nazis decide to march down the street with no apparent goal, they get shot up, and the putsch is over.

      2. A Leap at the Wheel

        That is exactly the the parallel I was thinking about. I’ve tried talking to more than one antifa stone-thrower about this. Their position is that if only they would have roused a little more rabble in the Beer Hall Putsch days, Hitler never would have gained power. Either that, or they don’t know what the Beer Hall Putsch was or what role violent black-clad Marxists played in the rise of the Nazis.

        In short, ahistorical idiots.

      3. wdalasio

        The bar knew about it and the manager defended them, but we shut it down anyway.

        And when I hear that, I almost wish they’d try this shit in Sonny LoSpecchio’s establishment.

    3. Rebel Scum

      “The bar knew about it and the manager defended them, but we shut it down anyway. Don’t let nazis convene in your city!”

      You know who else did not believe in freedom of association?

    1. Funny how Sandra Day O’Connor was the actual first woman on the Supreme Court but that gets memory-holed because she was conservative and appointed by Reagan.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Positive rights are all the rage.

    2. gbob

      I did a google search for images of the actress. I can manage!

      Sigh…the things I do for the team.

    3. Raston Bot

      failed. sorry, guys, i tried.

    4. Was I supposed to wait for some kind of signal, or…?

  51. KibbledKristen

    I only watched the home run derby to see if I could spot Seb Gorkha my boss on TV

    1. commodious spittoon

      Is your boss liable to start throwing punches on TV?

      1. KibbledKristen

        Possible, if the Nats are losing

  52. Slammer

    What is the Papa John’s N-word, anyway…piNeapple?

    1. Chipwooder

      Nigiri. He was just saying he doesn’t want sushi on his pizzas.

    2. Nephilium

      Naggers.

    3. Niggardly nincompoops.

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      Click on the link to the primary source. Its a pretty amazing read.

    2. Raston Bot

      Critics of charter schools and voucher programs argue that the state isn’t doing enough to financially support traditional public schools. State legislative leaders tout that they’re providing record levels of K-12 education funding, but critics say that when adjusted for inflation the per-pupil amount is less than what was given before the recession of the late 2000s.

      yeah, those times, they aint coming back.

    3. ruodberht

      Meh charters.

  53. Count Potato

    Don’t get crabs from Venezuela.

    “Multistate Outbreak of Vibrio parahaemolyticus Infections Linked to Fresh Crab Meat Imported from Venezuela”

    https://www.cdc.gov/vibrio/investigations/vibriop-07-18/index.html

    1. Don’t tell the secret service.

  54. “Seriously bad news for Q, HM and many others…admirers of the thicc or the busty.”

    Fine by me as long as I can keep gawking at them.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Seriously, I haven’t had so much fun with sliders since the 90s.

    1. Gotta make an example to keep the peasants in line.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    What is the Papa John’s N-word, anyway

    “Nutritionist.”

    1. pan fried wylie

      we also would have accepted “eNdocriNologist”

  56. R C Dean

    Looking at Trump’s statements and the backlash, it occurred to me that the geniuses at the Deep State and the DemOp Media have managed to align Putin and Trump’s interests here – its in both of their interests to resist the narrative of Russian collusion and interference. Not only that, they have given Putin leverage over Trump – Putin can now, thanks to their efforts, threaten Trump with, say, the release of information ( likely manufactured, because nobody in the Deep State or the DemOp Media is going to question it) supporting the anti-Trump narrative.

    From Trump’s actions so far, it is crystal clear he is no friend of the Russians. Looks to me like the Deep State and the DemOp Media are doing everything they can to change that.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Exactly this. They couldn’t push Trump further towards Russia if they tried.

    2. Viking1865

      “Putin can now, thanks to their efforts, threaten Trump with, say, the release of information ( likely manufactured, because nobody in the Deep State or the DemOp Media is going to question it) supporting the anti-Trump narrative.”

      The one issue with that: if that were to happen, that would mean the entirety of the media would have to go, in less than a day from “PUTIN IS THE DARK LORD AND PRINCE OF LIES AND TRUMPS PUPPETMASTER” to “PUTIN IS SAVING THE WORLD FROM EVIL TRUMP BY RELEASING THIS INFORMATION. GIVE HIM A NOBEL PRIZE”

      They have painted themselves into a corner here.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Look at how they treated Comey: he snatched victory from Hillary’s hands by reopening the email case, he was a quisling, a Trump pawn, he should have been fired by Obama and stripped of his pension, he’d ruined the reputation of the FBI, the FBI in fact was suspect for even opening the investigation in the first place, it was all a plot to discredit Clinton and install Trump!

        Then Trump fired him, and within minutes the careerist Trump-enabling traitor became a crusader for truth and justice, a #Resistance hero cut down in his prime, an incorruptible who validated all the honor and glory due that fine department, a man who was, perhaps, the last glimmer of hope as fascism extinguished all goodness and light in the country.

        You’ll remember they did the same for Rosenstein, who recommended Comey’s firing. Now he’s another #Resistance hero, all past sins forgiven.

        These people would about-face on Putin as shamelessly as they would quickly if Putin gave them half a reason.

        1. Viking1865

          Right and it’s absolutely destroying their credibility. There’s definitely people who have noticed the whiplash on those two swamp critters, but it’s all just inside baseball.

          But we will soon be at 2 straight years of daily POOOOTINNNNN!!!!! hysteria from every media network. They’ve been pounding this RUSSIAN COLLLUSION meme since Hillary declined to speak to her supporters early Wednesday morning, and that whole time Putin has been the Dark Chessmaster What Stole Our Democracy With His HAXXXORSSS.

          They can’t successfully polish that turd. In a story, minor villains can see the light and minor heros can fall to evil, but the Big Bad and The Hero must remain in their roles.

    3. The Other Kevin

      I read something on NR yesterday that said by indicting the 12 Russians, they’ve taken this from being an intelligence issue to granting those 12 due process in the US legal system, and therefore declaring them all innocent until proven guilty. I’m not sure that was the best move.

      1. RAHeinlein

        Putin certainly called that out at several points during the press conference.

      2. That’s an interesting take, but of course the indictment will be considered as good as a conviction by the media, as is often the case. Since they won’t be able to actually get them into a court room, they’ll never have to actually go to trial and fail. It’s like me saying, “I could absolutely win the Masters, but I just can’t get to Augusta so I can’t actually show you, but I definitely could.”

      3. commodious spittoon

        Not only that, but Mueller didn’t make the same mistake he did in the troll farm indictments: he immediately handed it off to another epartment where it will fade from the public eye without ever being prosecuted.

        Now, stop giggling over that last part — the bit where we hold our breath until Russian dictator Vladimir Putin extradites his spies into the FBI’s waiting arms. I’m talking about the first part: Mueller’s case, the definitive case about what Russia did to interfere in the 2016 election, is no longer Mueller’s case. It is being “transitioned” — i.e., buried — in the Justice Department unit that deals with counterintelligence matters that do not result in public trials.

        1. R C Dean

          It is being “transitioned” — i.e., buried — in the Justice Department unit that deals with counterintelligence matters that do not result in public trials.

          Not an expert in criminal procedure, but I still think the accused Russians can hire a lawyer to put in an appearance on their behalf, and demand a speedy trial.

          I note that the trial against the Russian troll farm has descended into farce – the evidence produced by the DOJ was apparently a massive file of untranslated Russian posts and data. Because posting stuff in Russian is totes gonna have an impact on an American election.

          1. pan fried wylie

            everybody knows egyptian heiroglyphs are the most effective symbols for influencing american voters. morans.

          2. That’s because Heiroglyphs are magic. They don’t need to be read to influence people.

            Hail Tothmekre

    4. AlexinCT

      If Trump had even hinted that he accepted that there was Russian interference, the headline from the dnc operatives with bylines would have been “Trump admits to colluding with the Russians to steal election from Saint Hillary and the progressive movement!”. He was damned if he did, and damned because he did not. There was no scenario where these cunts would have done anything but try to undermine his authority.

    5. RAHeinlein

      The WSJ gets it right: The Speech Trump Should Give ‘I order declassified all FBI and Justice material Congress has subpoenaed.’

      https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-speech-trump-should-give-1531778571?mod=hp_opin_pos2

      1. commodious spittoon

        I can only think–if my theory from the other day is incorrect, that Sessions and Trump are as weary of FBI meddling as the FBI is of theirs–that Trump believes stringing out the drama serves his purposes. The FBI continues stonewalling and diverting, their disgraced agents appear in front of Congress and make a hash of the proceedings, Democrats trip over themselves making the FBI look like it has something to hide, ‘Pubs pull off a couple zingers like Gohmert did to Strzok, and ultimately the thing fizzles out because there’s no there there.

        1. Viking1865

          It’s more of the “Trump is not nearly as stupid as his enemies think he is” thing. I think they were hoping they would actually find something, and failing that they would goad Trump into firing them, and then they would be able to claim that Trump was shutting them down to hide his numerous crimes.

          But by letting them keep investigating, Trump gets to go on Twitter every week and point out that despite having years to investigate along with millions of taxpayer dollars, so far all they have done is indict a few people on bogus charges. If Trump had fired them and shut the whole thing down, they would have been able to convict him in the court of public opinion, under the “Only someone with something to hide is afraid of investigations.”

          By letting them continue, Trump makes them actually prove something in the court of law. Now, they probably could get a tame Obama or Clinton appointee to rubber stamp some bullshit crime, but they might also get a straight shooter judge. For people who are actually undecided on this issue, most of them will say “Hey Mueller’s been doing this for 2 years, and he’s still going……and he’s not found anything.”

          I knew the whole thing was BS from the start. The feds were spying on the Trump campaign remember? If Trump actually did collude with the Russians, it would have been leaked to the media on November 4th, and he would never have won the election.

          1. R C Dean

            Not firing Mueller – I get that.

            Not ordering the disclosure of all the information requested by Congress – I don’t get that.

          2. Never interrupt your opponant while they’re making a mistake.

            Defying Congress with regards to the information does not look good for the FBI, and either they don’t realize it or whatever they’re hiding is even worse than being openly defiant. It will eventually come to light, but the longer they stonewall, the worse their credibility gets. By simply twiddling his thumbs, he’s winning either way.

          3. R C Dean

            Sooner or later he’s going to have to call the hand, or the Deep State wins.

            I wonder if he’s waiting for the midterms to pass, which is kind of a gamble in itself. If the Repubs do well, he can make his move from a position of strength. If the Dems do well, it will not play nearly as well.

          4. Viking1865

            “Sooner or later he’s going to have to call the hand, or the Deep State wins.”

            When you have the better hand, you let the other guy keep putting money in the pot. I think he has the better hand. If he fires Mueller, then they screech COVERUP and probably persuade enough people of that. By letting it go on, he forces them to actually prove something in court. Which they can’t do, because there’s nothing there.

            “I wonder if he’s waiting for the midterms to pass, which is kind of a gamble in itself. If the Repubs do well, he can make his move from a position of strength. If the Dems do well, it will not play nearly as well.”

            The Senate map is so bad for the Democrats. They just have too many seats to defend, and there are so many in red states. This is the the 2012 Senate group, that rode on Obamas coattails to some razor thin margins to give the Dems Senate seats in places like Indiana, Missouri and North Dakota they now have to defend. Plus seats that they have to defend in Trump states like West Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin. The Republicans are probably going to lose in Nevada, but their other incumbents are in places like Texas, Missisippi, Nebraska, Wyoming. So strategically, they can write off Heller and go on offense. There’s 11 Democratic Senators representing states Trump won in 2016. The GOP is going to pick up Senate seats, and if they do well they could have 55 or more votes, and the ideological complexion of the Senate will change as well, with guys like Flake and Corker giving way to more conservative Senators.

          5. R C Dean

            By letting it go on, he forces them to actually prove something in court.

            I’m not wondering why he doesn’t shut it down before it gets to court. I’m wondering why he doesn’t force the disclosure of the initiation and conduct of the investigation to Congress.

            Maybe he is just saving it for an October surprise. I could see that, especially if Mueller drops a steaming October surprise of his own. Which raises a question: there was no rush to indict the Russian officers; why didn’t Mueller save that for October, rather than drop it in the summer to coincide with Trump’s trip to Russia? Sure it caused a news cycle kerfuffle (which I’m pretty sure will be forgotten soon). If that was his best shot, seems like he would have held it to October. Its pretty clear Mueller’s goal here is to do as much damage to the Trump administration as he can. Does that mean Mueller does have something better that he is holding onto until it can do maximum electoral damage?

          6. Viking1865

            “Does that mean Mueller does have something better that he is holding onto until it can do maximum electoral damage?”

            Maybe, but I think he is completely misreading reality. Some kind of ZOMG RUSSIANS indictment isn’t going to save Joe Donelly in Indiana, or help the five Democrats in the other Midwestern states Trump flipped. I again think that the Midwestern Trump voter just isn’t falling for this RUSSIA shit at all. Yes, Bill Kristol and Jen Rubin are furiously masturbating to thoughts of a Russian war, but the people who elected Trump did so for pocketbook reasons and hes fucking holding up his end on that.

          7. commodious spittoon

            Right, which brings me to the above two theories: either Trump is fearful of what the FBI might do if he takes a more active role in the Congressional probe, or he believes the FBI is only hurting their case against him by continuing to stonewall Congress.

            What’s not believable is that the FBI is sitting on dynamite they haven’t leaked after almost two years of leaking anything and everything, however insubstantial, and after all the grandstanding when making petty indictments having nothing to do with Trump.

          8. invisible finger

            Why order it now when it will all be forgotten by November. Order it in late October.

  57. RAHeinlein

    Watching Fed Chairman Powell’s testimony – Warren is shrieking at him about banks making money. Even Sen. Heitkamp (who I normally like) was shrill “you can’t live on less than $20/hr!”

    1. Yes you can.

      You can’t live a comfortable middle-class existance with multiple vehicles and an annual vacation on under $20/hour, but you can certainly live. The question is how many roomates do you take on, and how much bargain hunting do you do for food.

      1. AlexinCT

        How dare you demand anyone live within their means! Granted, governments ranging from the Fed down to the town/municipality level seem to not do so, but us citizens – well, the plebes amongst them – are expected to do so. hence the left’s new push to make everyone millionaires, not realizing that that leads to deflation of your currency’s value or inflation that still makes this shit nothing useless attempts by people that want to impose utopian dreams on economic reality.

      2. They move the goalposts on the minimum wage debate constantly. No, of course you can’t raise a family of four on a single minimum wage income. In ages past, this is why you’d have multiple generations living in the same household, so that parents could help young people start families and, in turn, expect to be cared for in their dotage by the now-established younger generation. Or, young men wouldn’t propose marriage until they’d established themselves in a career with enough of an income to support a wife and children.

        Now, for a number of reasons besides just the presence of an extensive social welfare safety net, there’s less of a disincentive to get knocked up out of wedlock or without at least some means of support, and where it used to be the case that starting a family was a sign of someone who had earned that right through responsibility and work it’s now considered a human right to be exercised at will and supported by the rest of society if needed.

        A single person can live just fine on less than $20/hour. I did for years. As you said, I had roommates, I lived within my means, and I did what I could to earn an extra buck here and save an extra buck there. My emergency backup plan if I wound up unexpectedly becoming a father was to join the military and have a cheap wedding, just like my dad did. You can wear the uniform so you don’t have to rent a tux, see.

        1. My first job when I wasn’t living at someone else’s expense paid $12.32/hour. I supported myself and made my loan payments. I wasn’t living high on the hog and slept on an air mattress on the floor of the room I was renting in someone else’s house, but I made do.

          1. That’s the thing. When you don’t have better options, you do what you have to until you can do better. That might be hardship, sure, but it’s not an undue hardship. That’s what normal is supposed to look like.

          2. commodious spittoon

            Your Bachelor’s in Fine Arts is supposed to be a ticket to the middle class, and the docent job at the Met you’re promised is just the leg up you need to become a professional, highly paid curator/gala director.

          3. A BfA is the sort of degree someone gets when they’re already wealthy and can afford to faff about opening a gallery of their own.

          4. kinnath

            My brother has an MFA. I’m not sure how he actually makes a living.

          5. Ever watch ‘The Producers’?

  58. The Late P Brooks

    They move the goalposts on the minimum wage debate constantly. No, of course you can’t raise a family of four on a single minimum wage income.

    And the idea of people spending their whole lives in a minimum wage job? Where did that come from?

    1. If you’re against a trainee fry cook at McDonald’s making less than $30 an hour it’s because you hate poor, single black mothers, you shitlord you!

      1. I fully support raising the minimum wage to $20/hour.

        /robotics and automation industry lobbyist

        1. AlexinCT

          This is why I keep telling them they are low balling it at $15 an hour and should shoot for $50 or S100. I can’t wait for the rise of our burger flipping robot masters.

    2. invisible finger

      Sounds like reason enough to take the kids away.

  59. kinnath

    Just can’t catch a break

      1. Gilmore

        it needs someone to do voice-over where at moment bird strikes, there’s this cockney, “FUCKIN ‘ELL MATE I WAS JUST LEAVIN” complaint

    1. At least you didn’t have to deal with dead rodent on the porch.

      Thank you, Hawk, for cleaning up the cat’s mess.

    2. Gadianton

      That poor cat at the end of the video. “WTF??? Where’d my lunch go?”

  60. Raven Nation

    No sports today??!!

    There’s the first qualifying round of both the Champions’ League AND the Europa League; the deciding one-day international between India & England; not to mention the next round of matches in the Scottish League Cup…

    1. mikey

      Like the man said..

    2. I know what those words mean individually, but strung together the way you have them, it makes no sense.

    3. RAHeinlein

      Tour de France!

  61. I have no idea about Trump and Putin but I’ll say this:

    If he’s pissing off CNN and Fox News equally, he’s gotta be doing something right.

    1. AlexinCT

      Well said titty-man.

      1. The titty man can cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good.

        1. AlexinCT

          “Taps his foot to the tune and nods in agreement”.

  62. When House Hunters Renovation pulls in 400% more viewers than you do, I’d say you’re in trouble.

    https://deadline.com/2018/07/sacha-baron-cohen-who-is-america-ratings-low-debut-showtime-1202427802/

    1. In comparison and airing in the same 10 PM ET slot as Who Is America?, Fox Sports 1 had UFC Fight Night with a 0.3 rating and 754,000 viewers. Over on Home, House Hunters Renovation snagged a 0.3 in the key demo too. However, the politics free HHR also pulled in an audience of 1.4 million.

      I’d pick the rennovation show too. I’d also take UFC over Baron-Cohen without hesitation. What confuses me is why the number is even as high as it is.

      1. commodious spittoon

        #Resistance #Winning

      2. commodious spittoon

        However, the politics free HHR also pulled in an audience of 1.4 million.

        No show is politics-free. Being politics-free is itself a political agenda to deny a platform to the #Resistance. So by not obsessively denouncing Trump in every particular, even if it means losing much of its market share, HHR is in fact endorsing Trump. The only way to expunge the taint of Trumpiness is to foster abysmal ratings. Only then can the show be pure.

    1. R C Dean

      I thought Merkel had been the leader of the free world since Trump took office?

      1. Merkel is the leader of the Servile world.

        Easy mistake to make.

  63. kinnath

    Under what fucking basis can blue states sue the fed gov over new fed gov tax law.

    1. Legal basis? none. They might try to argue apportionment, but that would imply state taxes are federal taxes, or backfire even worse.

      What they’ve got in their corner are Corrupt New York Judges and the dipshits on the 2nd circuit. It will make the Nazgul before being smacked down.

      1. AlexinCT

        Legal basis? none.

        Could have stopped there UCS. This lawsuit is because these fuckwads hope an activist judge will stop the new law from blocking the abuse that these high tax blue states were privy to because of the loophole in the fedgov tax. Rich fucks that used to get huge fedgov tax deductions because of the massive amount of state taxes they paid out, and I note that these rich people are the very people that the group filing this law suits constantly demonize but (1%!!) now want to protect, now no longer can prog hard. They are getting hit where it counts: their wallets, and now the left which always rails against the 1%ers is trying to screw with a tax law that helped the middle class so they can keep their rich donors from moving.

    2. R C Dean

      We cap all kinds of deductions in different ways, so that can’t be it.

      You know, this might be the case where we revisit the ability of a single federal judge, with limited geographic jurisdiction (the district or circuit) to issue orders with nationwide effect.

      I wonder if the Repubs took a leaf from the Dem’s book on ObamaCare, and left out the severability clause, so that striking any part of the tax reform invalidates all of it. If so, a NY judge striking down a massive tax cut is going to create an absolute political shitstorm.

      1. Isn’t the reason we have a DC circuit for suits against the Feds? Or is it just appeals of Agency rulings?

        1. R C Dean

          I think its just for agency stuff.