The way that a horoscope should be cast:
Call up the charts. Get the rough facts in mind. Where is what, and at what angles. Don’t worry so much about interpretation. Sleep on it. Draw initial relationship markers. Sleep on it again. Consume some of your favorite consciousness/awareness expander (if available) and really study the charts. Write down your revelations. Reformat those revelations and upload.
That’s the way I have been actually casting them lately.
Wake up on Monday, head to work. Engage in shouting matches with various trades, particularly emphasizing that “pre” means “before” which means those facilities should have been in place before you spent two days disconnecting, decontaminating and packing for shipment a piece of equipment that really is quite necessary for the functioning of the fab only to find that the tool has literally nothing to connect to in its new space, and why did you confirm that you were on schedule and ready to receive the equipment when I am plainly staring at a piece of completely empty RMF where there are supposed to be drains, water, CDA, nitrogen, argon, and vacuum lines? And, btw, absolutely none of this runs on 110 so why is that outlet there when the drawing clearly calls out 208? Rinse and repeat until after stomping into the lab you find it strangely quiet because the trades don’t work on Friday. Realize that it’s Friday and you have no recollection of Wednesday or Thursday. Also realize that you haven’t worked on the horoscope.
For this week, we have a BARCO alignment of Mars (retrograde)-Terra-Sol with Mercury-Venus in opposition. Since Mars is in Aquarius, this indicates that the World cup is going to end (creepy how accurate the stars are, isn’t it?) With the Sun being part of the alignment, this indicates that the correct team is going to win. Mercury-Venus is an odd combination to be in opposition to a Mars retrograde alignment. In this case, we have “false news of a massacre,” either one happening and not being reported on or a false report of one happening. It’s hard to say which, but the particularly bad part is that the news source at fault here is going to be one that is trusted. Since I only trust glibertarians.com for my news, I’m wondering which one of TPTB is going to treat me like a dead Browns fan. For future reference, it’s pretty generic to interpret any Mercury-opposed construction as “the news media are lying pieces of shit” and the customer will be able to confirm your predictions.
This week, Jupiter has finally pulled its head out of its enormous Jovian ass and gone station direct. Since it did this while in Scorpio, it means increased chances of breaking a dry spell… unless it’s with your SO. For that to be true, we’d need a conjunction with Venus, but she’s hanging out over in Virgo.
Venus in Virgo. The personification of sex and The Virgin. Astrologically, this isn’t that big of a contradiction, since Venus represents peace more than passion, the former of which is very good for Virgo. But again, Virgo is stability and thoughtful consideration, and joining Venus is Luna, the sign of change. When you put these together, it adds to the instability I mentioned last week that occurs to all non-Cancers during this month.
Mercury in Leo: expect news about royalty, drama. You want to hear bout drama? I get a call from a union plumber installing the lines onto my VPD. It went like this:
“Yeah, usually I just make a flare connection but the part that the tube goes over isn’t there.”
“That’s because it’s not a flare connection. It’s a compression fitting.”
“So, I just ask my boss for compression fittings?”
“… Who is this? You’re a plumber, right?”
Then he wants to know if I have a catalog number for the fittings. Then if I would buy them for him. Then there was drama.
Mars retrograde in Aquarius. Not only does it signify the end of the World Cup, but it indicates a reduction in waste. It had fucking better. I’m paying these assholes $79/hour base, plus the various levels of “supervisors,” etc.
I have nothing creative to add. All of my creativity is dedicated to torture fantasies of the people to whom I am paying vast sums of money to do crap work. But here’s some relevant zodiac music:
Comments
92 responses to “I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of July 15”
a Plumber who doesn’t know a Flare from Compression?
/ Call me next time.
I can only hire you if you’re a member of a local that has donated to Cuomo.
I wish I were kidding.
That’s gotta suck, you’re trapped.
/shakes head in anger
There has to be some scabs, Er free market people around.
Ok, lemme rephrase:
I can only have the money people cut you a check if you’re on the list of people they will pay.
Theoretically, I could pay you out of my own pockeBWAHAHAAHAHAHA. Ah, that was a good one.
THE U of M has decided to wallow in the mud pit of trans gender BS.
The very short is that Gophers who have transitioned to Squirrels will now have a stick to get professors fired if they fail to use the student’s correct pronouns (if the guidelines are adopted).
Why do school administrations listed to the crazies? Don’t they understand this is all about the crazies wanting a stick to beat the administration with?
Well, that’ll be interesting if it goes into effect and it’s used against a tenured professor.
Proggy professors will support it and the one non proggy professor will get fired for not supporting it. It’s a proggy win-win.
Personally, I hope someone shoves a 1st Amendment lawsuit right up their ass.
They’re true believers, the crazies are the admins.
They’ve fully embraced postmodern-Marxist permanent revolution. At the moment, trannies are the favored identity group, tomorrow, it’ll be someone else. It’s never ending; tear down the “power structure” to benefit some constituency, elevate them, tear it down again ad infinitum until there’s nothing left.
Wow. What could possible go wrong.
Ms. Schalz’s self-description from the twatters
Professional victim and glorified moral scold.
Do your fucking job. Nobody needs to know if you’re ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ in tech.
Tsk tsk, haven’t you heard that evaluating people based on their work is discriminatory?
You have to acknowledge, praise, and celebrate all of their victimhood statuses.
Judging people by the content of their character is
MLK’s dream come trueliterally Hitler.The correct pronoun for me is fuck trans shitlord. and if you do not address me as such
you will be fired. Then I’d spend the next week asking question on everything.
“Mercury in Leo”
You know who else is in Leo?
A tapeworm from the undercooked hamburger he had last week?
Harvey Weinstein?
Is Leo a ficus?
Probably some furrie
His current girlfriend’s strap on?
I’m in Venus! or is Venus in me?
There was a young lady from Venus
Who just couldn’t get enough…
There was a young lady from Venus
Who just couldn’t get enough…
There was a young lady from Venus
who sported a quite large penis
everyone was too woke
to call her a bloke
but miss the bulge and you’d be remiss.
*golf clap*
*two snaps up*
I LOLd. In church.
You lol’d at a penis poem in church? That there is how you do it folks.
Then shared with my husband who had to hang his head to snicker.
Sitka spruce – Picea sitchensis
A large tree that commonly grows up to 70 metres tall and 2 metres across when mature. The largest known Sitka spruce is 93 metres tall and 5 metres across.
Leaves
Needles are light green to bluish-green, stiff, and sharp. They are four-sided but slightly flattened with two white bands running along the upper surface and two narrower bands along the lower surface. The needles are arranged spirally along the twig and are attached by small pegs which remain on the twig after the needles fall.
Cones
Seed cones are reddish- to yellowish-brown and hang from the crown. Their seed scales are thin, wavy, and irregularly toothed. Pollen cones are red.
Bark
The bark is very thin, brown or purplish grey, and breaks up into small scales.
What is that in normal units?
30 quintillion Ångstroms, give or take.
The level of faux outrage today is just mind boggling in it’s concerted effort to ignore context of any sort. Trump is obviously Stalin/Hitler/Mao/Satan all rolled into one. And tomorrow he and Putin are going to meet behind closed doors and plot the takeover of the world.
Just as mind boggling is that these talking head fucktards actually think they should be taken as seriously as they take themselves.
I would ask one of them – why does the DoD consider Russia an adversary, and why are we still sending aid to Ukraine and opening up oil drilling to drive prices down…if the POTUS is a Russian stooge? Did he say he would have more flexibility, so please tell Vladimir that?
OT: This oughta keep the chattering classes busy for a while.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-interview-cbs-news-european-union-is-a-foe-ahead-of-putin-meeting-in-helsinki-jeff-glor/
See above. I normally have the Sunday talk shows playing in the background but I had to turn the tv off this morning when I noticed blood dripping from my ears.
Wasn’t the EU set up, in part, expressly as an economic foe to the US? Which is what he is talking about and is conveniently left out of the headline?
Yeah, but Trump.
I have a feeling the MSM is in for another surprise when it dawns on them that people aren’t as stupid as they think they are.
They are too invested in their delusions of superiority to us rubes to ever believe they were wrong or rubes are savvy to their ways.
Any word on calling out the Germans for insistently financing Putin’s regime? Or was that billed as “encouraging energy insecurity,” or some horseshit?
Nope. Not a mention. Trump is singlehandedly plunging the world into chaos that we will never recover from and Putin will rule the world, or some such bullshit.
Ha ha ha ha ha, ya right. He’s getting quite a bit of help from us
Hey?!
Celebrating already, eh?
*narrows gaze*
*looks at picture*
One of your kind….
*gulps*
One of your kind… mated with one of my kind?
*cringes*
That HAS to violate some provision of our treaty.
The Love That Dare Not Post Its Name
Worse still… if you cut it open, there’s a man inside.
there’s a man inside.
They should write a book about that. write a book about that.
I thought you might be going somewhere else with that.
A letter from a high school senior in my resident town progressive fish wrapper:
Come to the Darkside Is this a future shitlord in the making?
If he’s not a full-on Bernie bro socialist in high school, by the time he’s 30 he’ll be literally Hitler.
College will correct his thinking.
If not, he’ll have sex with a steady girlfriend freshman year, eventually break up junior year, then find himself expelled for retroactive rape his senior year.
He’s already half way to the dark side. Whatever re-education camp he’ll be attending will finish it up and get him back on the correct path.
He will be once the mob turns on him.
Astrology is like seeking advice so here goes:
Is anyone here an Economist? I’m considering graduate school and I’ve been leaning this direction. I’m a nature dork but don’t want to be a state biologist. I could skate through an MBA program but would hate it. Does the world need more economists? Or anything else? All advice appreciated.
I say follow your bliss. There are other nature biology jobs than government ones.
I spent 23 years at a job I couldn’t stand. Find something you enjoy.
MS in Advanced Gigolo is a hot degree these days
^This
Wax your back and find a rich lady. I watched How to be a Latin Lover a few weeks ago and I wish I had gone that career path.
all of my worthless degrees are the humanities, but while in college I did the wisest thing possible: I got my hooks into an engineer. Wifey is a PhD in Mech E now and is my lovely sugar mama.
Five words:
Start your own porn site.
Grad school is like summer camp for nerds. You get to learn a lot and have none of the burdens and expectations of being an adult. Grad school was fucking awesome and I loved it. Most people I know would say the same.
If you’re doing it for the whole “make money” thing, then I say don’t do it. For the vast majority of educated professionals the opportunity cost of losing 2 to 5 (depending on degree/program) prime earning years is pretty hefty.
Apprentice yourself to Yusef. He spends lots of time in nature. Rooftops and crawlspaces count as nature, right?
Should have listened to my mom, she always said to learn a trade.
Stupid thoughtful parents
Do you like statistics? Predictive analytics is where everything seems to be headed. I guess it depends on what you want to do with your econ degree. Teach, write, think thank, gov, corporate, Glib posts?
I have three degrees, one of which is in Economics/PoliSci (double major). I wouldn’t recommend Economics for the purpose of seeking employment in the field; economists tend to be employed by the government, QUANGOs (QUAsi Non-Governmental Organizations), Econ departments at colleges & Unis, and major banks, and that’s about it. There’s probably a worldwide glut of people with formal graduate- or postgraduate-level training in Economics, and many of them are saying “Where to, buddy?” or “Would you like fries with that?”
As for “Follow your passion/bliss,” I prefer Mike Rowe’s advice: “Don’t follow your passion, but always bring it with you.” Following my passion led to a lot of years of under-employment and self-doubt before I snapped out of it and came to my senses. I still love studying/reading Econ and PoliSci, though — helps to keep me sane.
I got the impression his bliss has the potential to lead to a good job outside the government. I found it a happy accident.
Indeed. I did not mean to slam your advice. If fortuitous accidents occur, that’s awesome. I think, however, that plans based on the expectation of a happy happenstance ( 😉 ) are a bad idea.
I agree completely!
I prefer Mike Rowe’s advice: “Don’t follow your passion, but always bring it with you.”
My dad’s advice was in the same vein. He said, “after ten years, even the best job becomes routine and monotonous. Find one that is interesting and pays well.”
So I have an undergrad in conservation biology. Basically all the assholes who call for bans, taxes, reductions, veganism, etc. My passion is reintroducing mountain lions to their former habitat which will:
-Save human lives through reduced car accidents with deer
-Reduce tick populations and therefore Lyme disease
-help native flora recovery by reducing browsers (deer)
What do glibs think? Should our totally mismanaged public lands have top predators on the East Coast?
I’ve taken a couple of F&W classes and really enjoyed them, despite the very assholes & their thinking.
It’s the same in the west, wolf populations depress deer & other large herbivores, & restore more balance. But at the same time, are hell for ranchers and do pose a danger to humans.
Absolutely, there is no denying that. I think overall having large predators save more lives than are taken. People would rather die in a car accident than be eaten by a predator.
We can also get into the entire public land being rented to ranchers issue which pisses me off. Let them buy the land a manage it appropriately.
My uncle worked for the Nature Conservancy for a number of years in GA and throughout the south. I seem to recall his favorite part of the job was controlled burns. Eventually though I think he was forced out of the state office for not toeing the party line on something and he’s been teaching HS science for the past 15+ years (probably getting ready to retire).
My gut instinct is that all the money in economics is in telling the government entities what they want to hear.
Ok, guess we’re drinking cocktails. Don’t have to twist my arm.
Zacapa 23, ginger beer, bitters. Good drink. I like that the ginger beer doesn’t hide the good flavor of the 23.
Been slamming G&Ts since 9 am when the WC Final started. I see no reason to stop now.
I’m drinking G&T Gose https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/193/183878/
does that count?
Thai Temple Market https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wat_Mongkolratanaram_(Tampa,_Florida) for breakfast, then Deadlifts, Bench, and Pullups, now alcohol. Today is a good sunday.
It all counts:)
Im sitting on my fat ass, eating a fried-spam sammich with velveeta, tomato, and hellman’s, on toast.
And a claussen’s pickle. Beer at 5 o’clock.
Tasty!
eating a fried-spam sammich with velveeta, tomato, and hellman’s, on toast.
Damn. That is some upscale white trash fare there. The toast takes it to another level.
No, no, no.
Toast points, d00d.
Not drinking (yet). Just finished mounding the potatoes in the veg garden (pro tip: never intermix North American large-yield varieties like Russets or Yukon Golds with European varieties like French Fingerlings — the NA stuff completely overwhelms the smaller Euro varieties, forming a canopy that chokes off sunlight to the Euros and makes them weak and pitiful, and yes, I do know that there’s some kind of symbolism there…). Now I have to go spray out the rotary fertilizer and vacuum up some suspicious white powdery growth on the concrete floor of our back shed.
Nature’s weird, but I like it.
Tonight’s gonna be cheap white wine and somethin’ on the barbie. It’s hot as blazes here right now (prolly top out above 35° Celsius/95° Fahrenheit today). Thank God for the Gaia-destroying whole-house A/C!
Nature’s weird, but I like it.
*cranks AC*
USA! USA! USA!
FUCK YEAH!
We also invented A/C. Your Welcome World!
or, you are welcome World,
/Ducks from Ted
More like “North American Federation for the win!”
It’ll happen. You’ll see. 8^>