First up: This weeks alignments…
None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. The planets are all being non-conformists, but not doing it together like gothlings. From a heliocentric view, the universe is an empty place devoid of meaning, lifeless planets lumbering along indifferent to the existential horror, blindingly following their paths set by unreasoning forces until all existence dies frozen in ultimate blackness.
This is going to be a bad week for aspies. The moon is in Virgo, bringing change to people who don’t like change. Interestingly, even though The Virgin is typically portrayed as female by the ancients, the personality types predicted perfectly match those of today’s male virgins. This ability of a theory to correctly predict things centuries later is why astrology is considered such a perfect science.
Remember how I used to predict good fishing? Well that orbital mechanic has turned around and now fishing is going to suck for a while. C’est l’etoile.
Your mental acuity will fade down to normal levels as Sol ceases illuminating Gemini. on the other hand, Mercury continues in Cancer, so with a bit of effort, you can still be successful in that research you’ve been doing. If you haven’t been doing any research, disregard that last bit. For the non-researchers, you will probably forget to log off of something or clear your browser history, leading to embarrassment. You should have been researching something.
Seriously though, clear your cache. That whole Jupiter retrograde in Scorpio does lend credence to the “your porn history will become public knowledge” thing this week.
Also this week, there is Aquarius (the water bearer) linked with Mars. (war, conflict). So some people will be fighting over a water vessel.
Comments
58 responses to “I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for June 24”
I’m a Virgo, I Fear change….
First
See? SCIENCE!
I too am a virgo, but a lazy one.
3rd!
I am also lazy Virgo who doesn’t like change. The disclosure of my porn history would be interesting to say the least.
Consistency can be an indicator of quality…
Also this week, there is Aquarius (the water bearer) linked with Mars. (war, conflict). So some people will be fighting over a water vessel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDoGWBx930M
Or it could be me fighting with Walmart about my white trash pool and how the inflatable ring on top deflates and I lose 1/4 of my water. This wouldn’t happen if it was made in the USA in a union shop.
#WhiteTrashPower
my favorite redneck + kiddie pool moment:
https://youtu.be/qyEZntmqZws?t=17m23s
Euros fighting over who’s not taking the next migrant ship?
I love a good game of multi-national hot potato.
French bread makes better weapon than Italian bread.
+5,000% price mark-up
I’m saving up for a stock tank.
You may be on to something….
https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/search/stock
That’s what we use at the dog park. The dogs love it.
The dogs kept wrecking the kiddy pools, so a dog walker (he generally supplies the park with tennis balls and frisbees) brought a big plastic tank.
We keep our koi in one. Too lazy to dig a pond for them at the new house.
Too lazy to dig a pond? You are literally a steam shovel. Which by the way was one of my favorite books as a child.
Which one of you nerds bought this?
http://www.nbc4i.com/news/u-s-world/han-solo-s-blaster-from-return-of-the-jedi-tops-auction/1259470062
I realized I will probably never have a man cave, so I gave all my star wars stuff to the neighbor’s kid
Twasn’t me, surprisingly.
They stuck a faucet aerator on a broomhandle Mauser?
“This is going to be a bad week for aspies.”
So… you are saying the links will be late all week?!
Uh oh. Links are 3 minutes late. Links should definitely be here. Links are late. 4:03. Definitely late.
Michael Falk, autistic reporter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5ROoNT7-ZI
https://twitter.com/PetiteNicoco/status/1010894491480481798
LOLWTF??
/starts rummaging for Hugo Boss u̵n̵i̵f̵o̵r̵m̵ suit.
I know right?
Despite immediately noticing she look THICC, and thinking ‘wood’, there’s not much doubt she’s on the dangerous side of hot/crazy.
The black girl that’s quoted in that tweet? Yeah, based on that profile pic, she looks like a would.
Permit Patty. Would not.
http://www.nbc4i.com/news/u-s-world/video-permit-patty-calls-cops-on-girl-selling-water-in-san-francisco/1259067447
Unregulated use of dihydrogen oxide has been known to cause poisoning, drowning, trenchfoot, and can be found in some of Earth’s most dangerous substances.
Embrace the precautionary principle, for the children.
A question for the far gazing Not Adahn: I’m technically a Taurus(May 19) but that falls very close to being a Gemini. I’ve heard that the natural celestial drift of the stars has caused the traditional horoscope dating to now be slightly off.
Is this true? If so, I desperately need to know seeing as how I take this stuff very, very seriously and must omen my life accordingly.
Danka
No, and yes.
The calendar shifts make a simple calender plot inaccurate. Instead of looking at a date table, you need to look at a star chart to determine your birth sign. Ideally, your mom’s OB/GYN should have been coordinating with an astrologer to make contemporaneous observations, but alas too few hospitals maintain an astrologer corps on staff these days.
Unless you listen to any of a group of charletanic morons who claim that the celestial influences are not what give astrology it’s perfection, but were “coincidentally” aligned with what they claim are the true predictive factors back when the correspondences were tabulated. These people should not be listened to as they are obvious frauds.
a recent social-media exchange w/ someone who calls themselves “Libertarian, militant atheist”
At that point they stopped replying.
if you’re not libertarian enough to support people’s voluntary and willing socially-beneficial activities, i sort of wonder wtf the point of your ‘liberty’ really is.
For Me Not Thee, you know that…..
i thought you would wave your fist and go, “BLOODY PAPISTS!”
The liberty to ask permission and the liberty to follow orders.
Also, when you were talking about top-shelf/premium branding and snob factor, there is one category of consumers that looks for “the best.” It’s probably small, but it’s the one I live in. I’m not terribly concerned with the social/status aspects, what I’m looking for is the next, bigger experience. I try something, go “that’s really good,” and wonder if there’s an experience even better to be had. So a (scotch/chocolate/car/gun) might not be “worth it” as far as a pleasure-per-dollar metric, but that’s not the metric I’m using.
Yes.
i was going to join you in this tangent and write a huge screed about the psychology of super-premium consumption.. but was curious if there was some connection here w/ the point re: religion above that i might be missing.
nope, just on the thread as the same time as you for a change
?
“gun”
i really want a CZ-SP01 in olive drab, for no other reason than “ARE YOU KIDDING ITS THE PIMPEST GI JOE BLING SHIT EVER WANT WANT WANT“
50-60, white, male, above average income, possibly single
drinks jameson, drives corvette
worries that his hi-fi speaker cable isn’t good enough
has used all major dating apps, finds flaws in each
has groin injury from bungie jumping accident, doesn’t like to talk about it
i’m kidding obviously. forgive me.
If I’m looking for experiences, why one earth would I drink Jameson?
something has to ease that groin-pain
I thought you were describing yourself.
I don’t drink jameson either.
“ I try something, go “that’s really good,” and wonder if there’s an experience even better to be had. ”
This is how you end up dead in a hotel room in France. Your bathrobe belt tight around your neck, with your dick in your hand.
Or found wearing a wig & fishnets, hanging in a thai hotel room, amirite ?
It does sound like junky behavior, doesn’t it?
Two of Carradine’s ex-wives have spoken publicly on his unusual sexual preferences:
“His third wife Gail Jensen said he liked to tie himself up at home and ride horses bareback wearing nothing by a Speedo in an interview with RadarOnline.com.”
Is that a problem?
/asking for a friend
I bet that person is a real barrel of laughs at a party.
If you’re not libertarian enough to support people’s being wrong most of the time, you’re going to lose your mind wishing markets were a lot more efficient than they are. The only rational view is that while the efficiency of free markets and free ideas is terrible, it’s still better than any other course. Shrugs should be sold by the gross in the libertarian pro shop.
this is a good way of putting it.
i just think its odd that anyone who described themselves as ‘libertarian’ would be like,
“Yes freedom; but still, the state should intervene and prevent people who believe same (even if metaphysically wrong) shit from helping others”
because that makes a lot of fucking sense, don’t it.
The moon is in Virgo, bringing change to people who don’t like change.
Not all change is bad. I could get laid.
Haha, I crack myself up.
You can double your chances but you need to be willing to learn.
Okay, Lt. Fish linked this nice young lady’s youtube video in the AM thread, I think we need to reward him somehow.
I’m glad she’s OK after Vice doxxed her.