Wednesday Afternoon Links – IGNORE ALIEN ORDERS edition

“If this tepee’s a’rockin’…

It Looks Like America Is Finally Going To Have A Native American Congresswoman

Deb Haaland won the Democratic nomination for a New Mexico congressional seat on Tuesday, clearing her path to becoming the nation’s first Native American congresswoman.

Haaland, a single mom based in Albuquerque, is an enrolled member of the Laguna Pueblo tribe. She chaired New Mexico’s Democratic Party from 2015 to 2017 and was the Native American vote director for Barack Obama’s presidential campaign in 2012. That’s in addition to her nearly two decades of volunteering on Democratic campaigns and her failed bid for lieutenant governor in 2014.

There are currently two Native American representatives in the House — both are men from Oklahoma.

To get a sense of how significant Haaland’s presence in Congress would be, consider that more than 10,000 people have served in the House and nearly 1,300 have served in the Senate since the first Congress met in 1789. Not a single one was a Native American woman.

“Crazy, right?” Haaland said in a February interview with HuffPost. “It’s 2018.”

Poor Lizzie Warren. She just can’t catch a break. I guess she’ll have to go back to picking at her kale and quinoa salad while binging Scandal and crying. (Sanders/Warren 2020!)


“My facebones hurt when I do this.”

More Hard-Hitting Investigative News from Slate:

This Father’s Day Card Features a Joke About a Huge Pair of Underpants and Wow, It Sure Is Something

Among the hackneyed jokes about fishing and steaks in the Father’s Day cards at your local drugstore this year, you may happen upon a bit of visual humor that’s disturbingly open to interpretation. On the front of one card from American Greetings, an alarmed-looking boy holds up a pair of men’s briefs so large, they stretch from nose to knees and across his entire wingspan. The punchline within: “I think I’ll just stick with trying to fill your shoes.”

But the boy isn’t holding a pair of shoes. He’s holding underwear. His message concerns the impossibility, or undesirability, of trying to fill his dad’s underwear. Inquiring minds might wonder—just what would it mean to do that, to fill dad’s underwear?

The card lends itself to two schools of thought. The more benign reading, under the loosest possible definition of benign, holds that it’s a fat joke. Dad has a big butt and a big belly, so he needs an enormous pair of underwear to cover it all. A few steps closer to the gutter is the second interpretation: that it’s a commentary on Dad’s giant penis.

Watching Mandy Marcotte’s replacement on Slate grope her way through a story has always been grimly funny–about on par with watching the fat kid at summer camp no one likes slowly drowning in a secluded part of the lake–but Christina Cauterucci’s attempts at a lightweight humor article about a non-subject is more like being forced to help fish that fat kid’s body out before Parent’s Weekend. She seems incapable on some fundamental biochemical level of either understanding or producing humor. She approaches everything with her keen sense for sniffing out things to be outraged about dialed to 11. I’d call her a one-trick pony, but that would be unfair to ponies, tricks, ones, and hyphens.


B.C. woman says feces from plane fell through car’s sunroof and into her eyes

KELOWNA, B.C.—An afternoon drive turned into a “devastating” experience for a woman and her son when she says human feces fell from the sky and into her eyes through the open sunroof of their car in Kelowna, B.C.

Susan Allan, 53, said she and her 21-year-old son Travis Sweet had just returned from having lunch with her mother in nearby Peachland when a smelly substance fell on their faces and covered the vehicle.

The feces appeared to have fallen from a plane that she saw when they were stopped at a red light with another car that was also hit, Allan said, adding she and the other driver went to a car wash and sprayed themselves off before she called the Kelowna airport.

She said an administrator told her Transport Canada would be investigating and the department has confirmed it is looking into the possibility of frozen lavatory waste, called “blue ice,” falling from an aircraft.

“I just want everybody to know that although this seems like a surreal type of story, this happened to me and my son,” Allan said in a Facebook message to The Canadian Press.

“All we want people to know is that it was quite devastating to be covered in poop and I hope it never happens to anybody else.”


What is more punk than throwing battery acid in the face of your little sister after she’s been raped?

Check out the Taliban’s new punk rock uniforms

The Pakistani Taliban has debuted a new uniform that combines decades of punk rock, splashes of Gwen Stefani — and a dash of dominatrix.

Flawlessly blending a combination of camo pants, black shirts, fingerless leather gloves and a total disregard for parental authority, the Tehrik-e Taliban Pakistan (TTP) strutted their stuff in a new training video featuring rocket-propelled grenades, white board instruction and standing around in mid-”La Macarena” poses.

There’s no official word yet on the meaning behind “No Tension,” but if it’s a band name as we assume, it sounds rad.

By tucking camo pants into knee-high white socks, TTP fighters now have greater aerodynamic maneuverability when firing RPGs, as well as the added flexibility required to break into an impromptu mosh-kick whenever No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” blares from the speakers of a gun-mounted Toyota pickup.

Add in the fingerless leather gloves and high-top sneakers, and you’re guaranteed a seamless transition whenever going from firing a Kalashnikov to hopping on a skateboard and dropping into an empty pool.

Honestly, I see this as a huge step backward fashion-wise. The old uniforms built on a few simple pieces–the light sweater, the canvas pants, the balaclava; all in classic black–that any aspiring jihadist might very well already have in their closet. And while a graphic tee might do well for team spirit, how will they stand up the rigors of rural life or training? How available are replacements? It goes against the whole logic of the prêt-à-porter aesthetic the Taliban and other international terrorist groups have cultivated from the very beginning. (Who could forget the clean lines of the turtlenecks worn for the massacre at the Munich Olympics or the simple elegance of Arafat’s checkered keffiyeh?)


Comments

459 responses to “Wednesday Afternoon Links – IGNORE ALIEN ORDERS edition”

  1. Mad Scientist

    To get a sense of how significant Haaland’s presence in Congress would be, consider that more than 10,000 people have served in the House and nearly 1,300 have served in the Senate since the first Congress met in 1789. Not a single one was a Native American woman.

    There are currently two Native American representatives in the House

    Ummm….

    1. Hyperion

      “how significant Haaland’s presence in Congress would be”

      Significant how? What legislation would she support/not support, based on I suppose, identity only? The hell with policy or achievement, all that matters is identity. Fuck.off.slaver.

      1. Mad Scientist
    2. Yes, but neither of them has a vulva.

      1. Tonio

        Well, these days you can’t really be sure about that.

        Also, good catch.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        That’s one of those horns they blow at soccer picnics, right?

        1. Tonio

          Golf clap.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          It’s a sturdily built station wagon.

          1. Not Adahn

            “Boxy, but safe.”

        3. bacon-magic

          Ceremonial head piece

    3. Winston

      Also glosses over how Women couldn’t serve until c.1920, I think?

      1. nw

        Huh? Women have never been unable to serve in congress. The only requirements are,
        and always have been, at least 25 years old, a citizen for 7, and an “inhabitant” of the state when
        elected.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Winston got tripped up by Canadian Heritage Minutes.

        2. Winston

          I forgot Jeanette Rankin, elected in 1916. Silly me. There were probably state laws preventing them or at least with no female suffrage in most states there wouldn’t be much purpose or voter base to elect a woman?

        3. Winston

          I remember how until 1832 female suffrage was technically legal in England but since only property owners could vote and most women couldn’t own property then well it didn’t matter much.

      2. bacon-magic

        Your mom served Congress and other men for a looooonnnnnnng time.

  2. Hyperion

    Firstest?

    1. Hyperion

      See, if I hadn’t alerted that smartass Mad Scientist up there that I would trigger afternoon links by going for beer, I would have been first anyway!

      1. Mad Scientist

        If it makes you feel any better, my puppy is asleep under my feet right now and farting like a paper mill.

        1. Hyperion

          Only if he later wakes up and pees on your feet.

        2. Chafed

          It makes me feel better so there”s that.

  3. trshmnstr

    Kelowna, B.C.

    You know who else lives in Kelowna, BC? The Canadian Mike Rowe!

    Also, there was a planet in Stargate SG-1 named after the town.

  4. Hyperion

    “The Pakistani Taliban has debuted a new uniform that combines decades of punk rock”

    This is only so they’re ready to tag team with antifa when the Democrats call on them.

    1. bacon-magic

      ^^^
      Bonus they get to “tag” some virgin Dems.

  5. trshmnstr

    A little late to the game on this one, but UK is even more of a dystopian hell hole than I thought.

    the latest One You campaign, encouraging adults to consume 400 calories at breakfast, and 600 for lunch and dinner;

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      That’s normal. This is a normal thing.

    2. Count Potato

      This looks like way more than 400 calories. But not a lot of sugar.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full_breakfast

    3. A little late to the game on this one, but UK is even more of a dystopian hell hole than I thought.

      I thought this was going to be a link to the Tommy Robinson story.

      1. Count Potato

        If you don’t like Ashton Whitty in a plaid mini-skirt, you can go back to Saudi Arabia.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_wUlJBadRo

    4. Brasidas

      That’s the least objectionable part!

    5. Bobarian LMD

      oes this mean they’re gonna get rid of the Royals?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Does…

        1. Not Adahn

          bestRoyals, or?

    6. mexican sharpshooter

      As with the sugar reduction programme, the industry has 3 ways to reduce calories:
      change the recipe of products
      •reduce portion size
      •encourage consumers to purchase lower calorie products

      Are they suggesting they make British food palatable?

      1. Mad Scientist

        There’s a first for everything.

      2. A Leap at the Wheel

        Don’t worry, you can still wrap it up in a towel and boil it for fourteen hours.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        Less so, if that’s possible.

      4. Gustave Lytton

        Option 4: return to ration books so that Airshit One can control calorie intake.

  6. A Leap at the Wheel

    Re Lizzy: I was reading the headlines and wondering why all the conservative outlets were trumpeting “US gets first Native American Congreswoman.” It was early and I didn’t put 2 and 2 together.

    While waiting for the bus today, I had to share the bus stop with a legit, no-joke paranoid schizophrenic person. He was the whole 9 yards. Inappropriately bundled up indicating poor thermo regulation. Scrawling all over his left hand and arm. Story after story after story about his perception of other people violating social norms. Claims of conspiracy and self-aggrandizement (claimed to be an electrical engineer with Secret clearance, having is phones tapped by the FBI). Spent part of the time yelling and insulting the ambulance dispatcher, trying to get a ride from the hospital that just kicked him out to back to the one that kicked him out earlier, telling him to just pull up the GPS coordinates from his phone because those are all being monitored. Almost got ran over by my bus because he had to chase it down and confront a guy he thinks he knows on the bus giving him the stink eye.

    It was.. exhausting just being near him. And incredibly sad. This was not the crazy-silly kind of crazy. This was the sad kind of crazy.

    1. Negroni Please

      I actually know an electrical engineer with a secret clearance who worries about having his phones tapped by the FBI/NSA……

    2. SugarFree

      It’s sad that Salon pays them so little that they have to ride the bus.

      1. Mad Scientist
    3. Bobarian LMD

      I bet he went home and talked about the freak he had to sit next to on the bus.

      I had an experience on an airplane like this. Guy in the middle seat.

      Guy ordered wine and was obviously on some kind of meds that should not have been combined with wine. He got super freaky and was doing tourette’s outbursts and talking conspiracies. I kept him engaged because the woman on the row looked like a trapped rabbit.

      1. Mad Scientist

        So you were manflecting? Manstracting? Manstruating?

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      At the bank we had a special training on how to handle engineers. They were seen as ‘difficult’ clients.

      1. In the navy, it’s not normal engineers…nukes are another animal completely. Most of those guys are on another plane completely – smart but worse than me on social skills.

        Granted I have been fortunate to work with some exceptions – one of the guys on my first ship was a fitness nut and opened his own cross-fit gym with his wife on the side. I’ve also seen some reasonable more senior officers…but I’m guessing they mellowed over time. No idea what it’s like on a sub when every single officer (other than SUPPO) is a nuke. Gotta be some of the weirdest wardroom dinner conversations ever.

    5. whiz

      When I was a graduate TA in Wisconsin, we had a course meeting with the instructors on Saturday morning (so most of the building was empty) and in walked in a stranger who was talking about all the people who were after him. Someone quietly left the room and called campus security, but until they arrived we got the full experience. Apparently he was off his meds. Very unnerving.

  7. MikeS

    about on par with watching the fat kid at summer camp no one likes slowly drowning in a secluded part of the lake

    I laughed (and still am) waaaaay too hard at that. Pure poetry!

    1. Tundra

      No kidding!

      This, too:

      I’d call her a one-trick pony, but that would be unfair to ponies, tricks, ones, and hyphens.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      One quibble. If you’re at summer camp, you don’t fish the body out, you weight it down.

  8. Hyperion

    “Among the hackneyed jokes about fishing and steaks in the Father’s Day cards at your local drugstore this year, you may happen upon a bit of visual humor that’s disturbingly open to interpretation.”

    My life just sucks so hard, that the only thing I can think of to do is peruse the greeting card aisle at the local pharmacy and see if I can find a card to be outraged about. /fucking loser

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      What’s the punch line to every progressive joke?

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        That’s Not Funny!!!

        1. Hyperion

          I’m stealing that.

    2. The Other Kevin

      Sadly, there are thousands of fucking losers who would see that on Twitter and also be outraged about it, just like they did with that prom dress.

      1. Mad Scientist

        I don’t believe for a second that anyone is outraged. Some people feign outrage because they think that’s what they’re supposed to do, and the other is pissed off about something else and uses this a proxy to manipulate the first group.

        1. wdalasio

          And a third group of people have learned that adopting a stance of outrage gives them a socially acceptable venue to shit all over other people. I think this is probably the biggest element of the outrage mob.

          1. David Thompson talks about that element of it a lot. The most current post, about the race hustler bitching about the Portland bakery, includes the following addendum:

            In the comments, Rafi notes that the above bears a striking resemblance to a protection racket, which it pretty much is. It certainly seems to have attracted the kinds of personalities that you’d expect to find involved in one. And if you encourage the credulous to cultivate delusions of collective guilt, and to contort themselves, abase themselves, in order to conform – and if you do it institutionally, systemically, in the name of progressive education – then it’s hardly surprising that moochers, narcissists and borderline personalities will waste no time in exploiting it.

          2. A Leap at the Wheel

            Al Sharpton nods knowingly.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            He patented that as a business model.

          4. MikeS

            What about me?!

            /Jesse Jackson

          5. Bob

            Learned it from MLK.

      2. The Other Kevin

        I don’t know, I think there are a lot of people who do get off from righteous anger. It does feel good to fight injustice, (even though that injustice is imaginary).

        1. Pope Jimbo

          One of the things that I thinks truly saddens the youth of America is the fact that they live in a pretty wonderful place and there are no dragons to slay anymore.

          They have to sit through stories by fat old hippies who got to fight racism and Jim Crow. What do they get to fight? Even fucking gay rights swapped so fast on them, that a lot of people missed out on that crusade.

          I think this is why they so want Trump to be a Nazi. They want a true enemy to fight. One that they can be proud to tell their grandkids about when they are fat old hipsters.

          1. Bob

            The old hippies were fighting ghosts as well, missing out on their parents existential threat. Surrounded by people that created the free world, knowing they couldn’t create something greater, they needed to tear down society. Saving western civilization isn’t impressive if you reframe that civilization as societies greatest monster.

            The great accomplishment appears to be ridding us of free association.

        2. The Other Kevin

          If there are no dragons to slay, they will invent a dragon. Remember that kid who read a poem about being woke?

  9. Pan Zagloba

    Mandy Marcotte’s replacement on Slate

    She may replace her at Slate, but never in our hearts!

    She seems incapable on some fundamental biochemical level of either understanding or producing humor. She approaches everything with her keen sense for sniffing out things to be outraged about dialed to 11. I’d call her a one-trick pony, but that would be unfair to ponies, tricks, ones, and hyphens.

    I stand corrected.

    1. wdalasio

      She may replace her at Slate, but never in our hearts!

      You know, even doing a perfunctory Google search, I can’t see much that she’s been up to of late.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Not a single one was a Native American woman.

    WHAR MUH REPURASHUNZ?

  11. Tundra

    Why are Indian Reservations still a thing? Every time I go through one here it seems like a bizarre setup. Ridiculous poverty and a casino.

    1. Winston

      The chiefs love free shit and anyone who proposes ending the reserves will be portrayed as a racist genocide advocate?

      1. invisible finger

        Native Americans: The world’s first socialists.

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      “Path based” describes any system that ends up in a result that no one would design and no one would want. Every step along the way, someone thought that some small choice would lead in the direction of some goal, and in the end, we get to a final result that is terrible, and usually overly complex.

      The real kick in the nuts, though, is that anything path-based is probably also deeply embedded in the status quo. The folks in power have built up their power in a world with that path-based thing, and trying to remove it is unsettling for them. And passively, it’s always been a thing so for most people imagining a world without it is in conceivable.

      This is the story of approximately 99.99999% of government programs. It is the pawl in the one-way ratchet of the state that is slowly but inexorably chocking the Tree of Liberty.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Strangling, not choking. It’s called strangling when you tie a rope around and squeeze.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          And chocking is trying to keep your trailer from rolling. I don’t know why you’d ever chock a tree.

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            Look, I’ll write for free, but you gotta pay my rate if you want me to proofread.

          2. pan fried wylie

            Trees can roll too, duh.

    3. Lachowsky

      Indian reservations are one of the only federal programs that actually have a legitimate reason to exist. Our government signed actual treaties with the various tribes to establish the reservations. To get rid of the reservations would violate the treaties.

      As to why any natives would continue to live on the reservations, I have no idea.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        You know the line “If you hate the government so much, why don’t you move to Somalia!” its a stupid line. Moving to Somalia would require giving up your ties to your family, your history, your community. Everything.

        And they are only moving to the US, where we outlaw gambling and irresponsibly blow all our money on roads.

        1. Lachowsky

          I guess that could be countered with, “if you love government so much, why don’t you go live on a reservation?”

      2. Rasilio

        And there is nothing whatsoever stopping us from telling them that we are withdrawing from the treaty, they have a choice to become sovereign nations with all that entails and we will respect their territorial integrity or they can disband and become no different from any other US citizens.

    4. Tonio

      Because each Indian tribe is a sovereign nation, and they have treaties and stuff. As a libertarian, I’m all in favor of any enclave which can tell local and state government to fuck off and have that stick. As an American I’m appalled at the poverty and corruption.

      1. Tundra

        It just seems that the Snyder Act was a perfect opportunity to begin the assimilation.

        I love the idea of a “Fuck off, slaver” type of sovereignty, but that’s not even close to the reality.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Yes, and applying the 14A to tribal pseudo governments is another. You want a lineal membership club?, have a private organization.

      2. The Last American Hero

        Which would be fine if we would cut off the “foreign aid” and actually treat them as sovereign countries.

    5. Count Potato

      The land should be privatized.

    6. Winston

      We seem to forgetting that the Feds didn’t create the reserves for magnanimous reasons (unless you think “better than genocide” is magnanimous).

      1. Bobarian LMD

        About as magnanimous as the government ever gets.

    7. CPRM

      Because, as well educated natives I’ve discussed it with agree, they know the system fucks them, and the reason tribes are in such sad states is their reliance on the Fedgov and how poorly handled it has all been, BUT THEY ARE OWED STUFF!

      So basically they mostly know it stupid and shitty, but have been conditioned to believe this is the proper state of affairs because it is owed to them. It’s a hard standpoint to wrap your head around, but I guess it’s kind of like a battered wife, he won’t hit me next time, he swears.

      1. wdalasio

        Or “if only the right top men…”

    8. Deplorableme

      I’ve also read that one of the big reasons why there is so much poverty on the reservation (and like many s*hole countries), is that there isn’t really a concept of private property for individuals on the reservation. Without the ability to “own” land, the need or desire to improve the land is diminished as well as not being able to leverage the property means the land is pretty much worthless.

      1. Bob

        Sure, the reason why the bums under the overpass are poor is because government regulation won’t let them build a Starbucks on public land.

    9. Bob

      They appear to be a good solution to people or can’t or won’t integrate into society. Wish we could sell the idea to the homeless problem advocates.

  12. Count Potato

    “Trump is conflating random Twitter commenters with “the media” here.”

    https://twitter.com/brianstelter/status/1004366118935379968

    Christ, what an asshole.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Christ, what an asshole.

      Really, this could apply to pretty much anyone in politics. Or anyone who talks about politics.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Join Slate Plus

    I think not.

    1. LJW

      Is that the husky section of Slate?

      1. trshmnstr

        Is there any other section?

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Malnourished pajamaboys would be indignant that you forgot about them.

          If they weren’t so averse to conflict…

  14. Lachowsky

    T’was a sad yesterday yesterday. The old Samsung S5 finally gave up the the ghost. I had that phone nearly 5 years. I got a new S9 yesterday. It is nice, but honestly it doesn’t do anything more than my old S5 did. At least nothing that I have discovered yet.

    1. Negroni Please

      Take into a wardrobe or put it up to a looking glass. Just to make sure.

    2. LJW

      Hey you can drop it in the toilet and it will still work… So you’ve got that going for ya.

      1. Lachowsky

        The 5 was truly waterproof. I had a side by *incident* a few years ago that ended up with me and my phone in a rushing creek for a cop sideranle length of time with no harm done to it.

    3. trshmnstr

      Can it take decent pictures?
      *shakes fist at S5*
      *drops the phone*

      1. Lachowsky

        It actually takes really good pictures and come with 64 gig of internal storage instead of the 16 the 5 had. My five still works, but the charging port went bad. I’ll probably fix it and keep it around.

    4. commodious spittoon

      My S7 is getting a little long in the tooth… thinking about upgrading to the Note later in the year.

    5. Semi-Spartan Dad

      The S5 was a good one. I had to replace mine with an S7 a couple months ago.

      I can’t figure out any difference between the S7 and the S5, except now it’s much more difficult to replace the battery.

      1. Lachowsky

        I think the 5 was the last one made with an easily replaceable battery.

    6. Deplorableme

      I liked the S5 (still have mine, but it is showing its age). But I swear the thing is god damn slow. I don’t know why that is, but just opening messages, gmail and what not, is really sluggish. I’m sure it has do with all the updates AT&T forces on us, but what do I know?

      1. SoberPhobic

        Time to root it

        1. Deplorableme

          Yes, I agree – problem is I haven’t been able to find a method that works will work for it.

          1. SoberPhobic

            https://www.xda-developers.com/

            You may have to roll back your android. I’ve got an att s5a rooted and using unity rom.
            upside rid of nearly all samsung crap and still runs like new
            downside no updates and some apps won’t work on it anymore (android vers probs)
            tried to root verizon s5 no joy YMMV

          2. trshmnstr

            One of the early AT&T S5 models hadn’t been broken yet for root last I checked (a year or two back). I forget the exact model number.

    7. Mojeaux

      Husband’s S5 was dying. He got an S9. He’s a very happy camper. Me, the day I have to give up my S7, I will cry.

  15. AlmightyJB

    Warren can also fall back to being a two spirit.

  16. Count Potato

    “For 60 pancakin’ years, we’ve been IHOP. Now, we’re flippin’ our name to IHOb. Find out what it could b on 6.11.18. #IHOb”

    https://twitter.com/IHOP/status/1003682801042915328

    Q bought IHOP?

    1. Mad Scientist

      Just so long as they still charge $10 for two eggs and some of the chef’s hair, I’m happy.

      1. Deplorableme

        Last time I was there, the coffee was $2.95 + tax – Come ON! It isn’t even good coffee at that.

    2. Gadianton

      International House of bacon?

      1. Tundra

        Botulism.

    3. A Leap at the Wheel

      They are transitioning into internet-connected gear-cutting machines? (this is a pun. please laugh)

      1. MikeS

        I got it.

      2. Tundra

        I would laugh, but I’m too worried about the backlash.

        1. MikeS

          I bet now you’re just going to mill around here watching this sub-thread.

          1. Tundra

            My intentions have no bearing on this sub-thread.

          2. bacon-magic

            Threads like this really grinds my gears.

          3. Mad Scientist

            Don’t be such a tool, bacon.

          4. Tundra

            Don’t hog all the puns, Mad.

          5. MikeS

            Jeepers. Nothing but chatter from you guys.

          6. bacon-magic

            They need to stick with flat rolled pancakes…no need for new images when everyone knows where to get the hookers that smell of syrup and broken dreams from.

          7. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I’m just here to spur you worms on.

          8. Tundra

            That’s quite enough from you, pawl.

          9. Mad Scientist

            We’re going to have to chuck this whole thread.

          10. MikeS

            This is getting pretty long. It takes a while to drill down.

          11. Not Adahn

            I can’t tell the differential between some of these puns.

    4. Negroni Please

      International House of Butterpecan syrup? I know it’s primarily derived from industrial waste, but it’s still delicious.

    5. Breakfast?

      We don’t have an IHOP here, and haven’t had one for ages. I think the site is either a mattress store or a Starbucks.

    6. robc

      It pisses me off.

      I bet they drop having pancakes as side to everything too.

    7. Sean

      Before going low carb, I enjoyed IHOP’s harvest grain & nut pancakes.

    8. Michael

      It’s brunch. Some dumb marketing intern talked up how hot it is right now and that they should totes do a viral social media campaign with it.

    9. Breakfast. It’s breakfast.

      Ho-hum.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Is that the husky section of Slate?

    Let’s just say you might have a hard time filling their panties.

    1. trshmnstr

      Panties parachute, tomayto tomahto

    2. I see what you did there.

      However, there’s enough shit on Slate to fill anyone’s panties.

  18. LJW

    GOP Senate report says Obama officials gave Iran access to U.S. financial system

    “This is the most transparent administration in history,”
    -Obama

    1. JaimeRoberto

      They were transparent. To Iran.

  19. Pope Jimbo

    Local Minnesoda woman calls out major phone carriers. Stops short of demanding new law.

    “It’s my phone, I can do what I want, I am sending it to my boyfriend,” Zasoba said. “I just want cellphone providers to up their security to make sure employees don’t steal their private information. Not only photos but bank accounts, passwords.”

    Zasoba wants other customers to be aware of the risks when they hand over their phones.

    You know what might help the phone carriers up their security? You not handing over your phone to some yahoo and unlocking it so he can see your nudies.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Looks like Xs. Zasoba has a GoFundMe page to attend a Younique convention.

      Nudies and multi-level marketer. If only I was single!

    2. LJW

      Umm there already is a law, that’s why the police are investigating.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      Meh. She’s not demanding a law. Dude deserves to get fired for this. I can’t really get angry over the article.

      1. Count Potato

        I’m mad at its lack of pics.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          This.

          She must not be the typical Minnesoda woman, because no one wants to see that.

          Something, something cornfed dairy cow.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          I put in a followup link that has a pic of her (I think).

          C’mon, how much labor do I have to enact for you bro?

      2. Pope Jimbo

        You weren’t supposed to get angry. You were supposed to shake your head in amusement at the fact that this story was even “news”. I even said she wasn’t demanding a law.

        You know what?

        Between you taking shit out of context and Count Tater below not clicking my link of her pic, I AM GETTING MAD.

        1. MikeS

          Lighten up, Francis.

        2. Count Potato

          But you shouldn’t have to make up for KARE11.

  20. Winston

    Cato paper attacking the nostalgia for the “liberal world order”.

    https://www.cato.org/publications/policy-analysis/world-imagined-nostalgia-liberal-order#full

    1. RAHeinlein

      Excellent paper – thanks for the link!

      “These deteriorating circumstances make it imperative for Washington to conduct a cold reassessment of its grand strategy. It needs to ask what works and what doesn’t, to rank its interests into a hierarchy and distinguish what is vital from what is desirable, to assess what is achievable, and what costs and sacrifices it can bear. The growing demand on already scarce resources, from the mounting costs of defense to the current and future burdens of entitlements, means that it will be difficult for the superpower to increase its extraction of resources from its population base. For a reassessment to be realistic, the country must be able to consider retrenchment, burden shifting, the accommodation of potential rivals, and the limitation of commitments.”

  21. Michael

    Watching Mandy Marcotte’s replacement on Slate…Christina Cauterucci…

    I just Googled her. She has that dumb, lopsided DIY hairdo and now I’m hard enough to smash walnuts on a marble counter.

    1. invisible finger

      Her pic was in the links.

      1. Michael

        It didn’t quite do it for me. I wanted more and I got it.

        http://nprinterns.tumblr.com/post/70613875400/exit-through-the-npr-gift-shop-christina

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Half of a haircut?

        2. Drake

          She has some convenient handles sticking out of her head.

      2. MikeS

        Not only did he not click on the links, he didn’t even look at them. Impressive!

        1. Michael

          Fuckin’ aye. I aim to please.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Anyting requiring more than two parts doesn’t belong on Twitter. It looked like an interesting article but I just can’t deal with 30-whatever part rant.

      Fucking Martin Luther, I blame him and his 95 points. Couldn’t narrow it down to, say, seven biggest grievances?

      1. Damn your nimble fingers!

      2. He links to a Forbes article, but since I’m assuming it’s behind a paywall, I just linked to the twitter – you can follow his link to his article though.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Much better! Thanks!

          Link for the lazy like me.

    2. As always, for fuck’s sake can’t these people write a blog?

    3. Count Potato

      Too much or not enough drugs?

    4. commodious spittoon

      9. It’s true that workers in California earn 11 percent more than their counterparts nationally. But that amount is not enough to make up for mortgage payments and rents that are 44 percent and 37 percent higher (respectively) than the national average.

      Taste the equality.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Somebody needs to move… but don’t even think of moving here.

      2. Pan Zagloba

        New ad slogan for Skittles Orphan Flavors?

      3. invisible finger

        Supply and demand.

        Too much supply of workers in California – I suggest people there that don’t think wages are high enough should start some local killing sprees.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Socialism never delivers, news at eleven.

      4. Deplorableme

        I just got my car registration renewal for a 2004 Prius $154 + smog which will run another $60. Fuck California.

  22. Pan Zagloba

    Since I missed the morning thread, relevant Sabaton for metalheads and sympathizers.

    1. Anyone interested in a blow-by-blow of D-Day from the 82nd Airborne?

  23. Winston

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shape_of_Things_to_Come#Suppression_of_religions

    One of the major aspects of the creation of the World State is the abolition of all organised religion—an act deemed indispensable to give the emerging “Modern State” a monopoly over education and the complete ability to mould new generations of humanity.

    The abolition of Islam is carried out by the Air Police, who “descend upon Mecca and close down the main holy places”, apparently without major incident. Eventually, Islam disappears, its demise accelerated by the decay of Arabic and its replacement by “an expanded English”. Some twenty mosques survive, deemed to be worthy of preservation on architectural grounds. The Lebanese-American scholar George Nasser remarked on this aspect of Wells’ book: “In the 1979 imagined by HG Wells, a self-appointed ruling elite composed mainly of Westerners, with one Chinese and one Black African and not a single Arab member, would establish itself in the Arab and Muslim city of Basra and calmly take the decision to completely extinguish and extirpate the Muslim religion… In the 1979 of real history, Khomeini’s Islamic Republic of Iran came into being”.[2]

    Very interesting how the Western Elites have not been able to deal with Islam. Not many people expected Khomeini or the Taliban or bin Laden or the problems that Europe is facing with Muslim immigrations or the Muhammed cartoons.

    1. invisible finger

      They could deal with it by abolishing welfare. Buuuuut noooooooo.

      1. Bob

        Welfare created Iran?

    1. Spudalicious

      I love Liv Tyler. She needs to do a sex tape and have it stolen.

  24. RAHeinlein

    KK – this link is for you:

    It is the ultimate ignominy for the Airbus A380, the superjumbo that promised to revolutionise air travel. Only ten years after its launch, two of the aircraft are heading for the scrapyard.

    Dr Peters Group, a German aviation finance house, has been given the task of finding a new home for the unwanted aircraft, which have become surplus to requirements at Singapore Airlines, the original launch partner for the A380.

    However, having failed to find a buyer amongst carriers including British Airways, Dr Peters said that it would strip the aircraft for parts and sell the components.

    https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/business/superjumbos-head-for-the-white-elephant-s-graveyard-8cx2r2zd8

    1. invisible finger

      I remember when that plane was announced. I remember the idiots in the US press whining that Boeing doesn’t have a plane that can compete. Boeing said (paraphrasing) “All our research indicates people want flexibility, which means smaller, more frequent flights. We have no interest in building a similar plane.”

      The A380 is a central planner’s airplane. A free market would never wants such a thing. But Airbus is run by European communists, so they do the stupid thing and build a propaganda machine to convince people how central planners are so much smarter than the plebes.

      1. Winston

        I believe Boeing created the 747 because their research predicted there would be a big increase in air travel. Did Airbus do similar research?

        1. Not an Economist

          Did Airbus do similar research?

          They probably did, but probably modified their assumptions until they got the answer they wanted.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          Airbus was betting on the spoke and hub model in Asia, even though the rest of the world was moving away from it.

        3. invisible finger

          The 747 was created before the US deregulated the airlines. So it’s essentially solution to a problem caused by central planning. Whatever research Airbus did is going to be highly influenced by European central planning.

      2. Not an Economist

        The primary purpose of the A380 was to be bigger than the Boeing 747. They succeeded.

    1. Count Potato

      It breaks my heart to see her like that.

      1. Tundra

        Seriously. So cute, but so stupid.

        1. bacon-magic

          So stupid she’s no longer hot. Wait til the looks fail she’ll just have the cats and the twitter.

    2. Michael

      Wow, and he declined the opportunity to speak with her?

      Absolutely inexplicable.

    3. Lachowsky

      “96% of Americans believe that women should be protected under the constitution.”

      I agree. Women should be protected. Now what?

    4. Looks fade, but stupid lasts forever.

    5. Juvenile Bluster

      Who’s The Boss-era Alyssa Milano was my first celebrity crush when I was a kid.

    1. slumbrew

      “Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        She’s right on that hot/crazy line up near the right corner of the chart.

    2. The Other Kevin

      There is a rip in the side of that shirt, and it looks like there’s a second, beige-colored shirt under it. So are those fake nipples?

      1. slumbrew

        It’s a bra-strap – either a thin bra or just a half-cup.

      2. She’s Anistoning.

  25. KibbledKristen

    I just figured out that leftist ideology reminds me of a murmuration of starlings.

    1. Count Potato

      Word of the day?

      1. KibbledKristen

        More like a weird stream of consciousness

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Nicaragua is now in the throes of a mass uprising against Ortega’s murderous regime. It’s a dangerous endeavor for an unarmed population, especially after the collapse of peace talks last week. But there’s no going back. Nicaragua has experienced a national awakening.

    ————

    Nicaragua’s unraveling seemed to come out of nowhere. Yet, democracy and rule of law died here a long time ago.

    Two months ago, Nicaragua was a popular and friendly tourism destination with the fastest-growing economy in Central America, a poster child for foreign investment and citizen security in a region known for gangs and unrest. But behind the facade of peace and stability, Ortega’s systematic dismantling of Nicaragua’s institutional democracy was corrosive. After returning to power in 2007, he sidestepped the constitution to get himself reelected in 2011. He then completed his palace coup by assuming full control of all four branches of government, state institutions, the military, and police. He banned opposition parties, rewrote the constitution, and turned Nicaragua into his personal fiefdom, which he rules from inside the walls of his stolen compound, a concrete fortress he rarely leaves.

    Careful. That “unarmed population” talk can get you booted off the cocktail party circuit.

    And that sudden political and economic collapse- it’s a mystery, all right. Just don’t mention the communism.

    1. Winston

      Link?

  27. Scruffy Nerfherder

    +1,000,000 Herculoids

    1. slumbrew

      I don’t even know what you’re referring to, but I approve. Loved the Herculoids.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        SF put Gloop on the homepage.

        If I had a spirit animal, it would be Gloop… or Ookla, can’t really decide.

        1. slumbrew

          Ah, sweet – just clicked-in from the last article, so I missed it. I gotta lean towards Tundro – up-armored 10-legged rhino with a cannon for a horn. What’s not to like? Though a space dragon is always a strong contender.

        2. Sean

          Ookla

          Thundarr was a great cartoon.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Oopsie- forgot the link.

    Never once does the word “communism” or “communist” appear in the article. Nicaragua was a thriving democracy, until capitalism ruined it, I guess.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe we can ship David Hogg to Nicaragua, so he can teach those weenies what true courage looks like

    If there is any bright spot for Nicaragua, it’s the student-led movement. Their bravery, solidarity, and leadership in the nationwide push for justice and democracy has inspired a nation. And despite the death and destruction, it’s a movement fueled by optimism—the burning hope that Nicaragua can become a democracy and that better days lie ahead. It may seem like a distant fantasy in a season of turmoil and destruction, but it’s the hope that keeps people in the streets. “We’re optimistic because our hope is that Nicaragua will once again be a free republic,” says Valle, the student leader. “Of course there’s hope; the people have united.”

    If Ortega has provided the tyrants of the world with a blueprint for how to destroy a democracy, the youth of Nicaragua are offering an example of how to get it back. “We Nicaraguans are tenacious and strong. We’re fighters, but we’re very good people,” says Sánchez, the other student leader. “We’re going to make history once again in our country so we can have a society that’s democratic and egalitarian.”

    More from the article (not) linked above.

  30. Winston

    So the former Sandinista turned out to be shithead in the end? Can’t say I am surprised…

  31. Winston

    Apparently Ortega wants to cut old age pensions and raise taxes. Hmm…

  32. Winston

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/posteverything/wp/2018/06/05/who-is-to-blame-for-the-state-of-the-rules-based-liberal-order/?utm_term=.0c395f84e126

    It would turn out that all of the trappings of the postwar global order rested not on rules or norms, but on raw American power. Is he correct?

    I don’t think so.

    1. Winston

      One of the strangest things about Trump is how the pre-Vietnam foreign policy consensus has returned. The lefties don’t even bring up their traditional bogeymen of Cold War intervention like the Shah, Pinochet and the Contras much anymore

  33. Michael

    I read this article yesterday but haven’t had a chance to post it here. I know that my disdain for Musk is pretty glaring already, but one passage really raised my brow.

    Tesla does have non-production workers at the Fremont factory and manufactures components like seats in-house that other automakers source from suppliers, both of which inflate the plant’s headcount. Given that, Tesla said it is not fair to compare vehicles per employee to another company’s vehicle per employee.

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/tesla-veterans-reveal-fires-accidents-and-delays-inside-elon-musks-company

    Who in their right mind would have thought this was a good idea? What makes Tesla’s seating so special that they can’t farm it out to a specialty supplier for much less than doing it in-house? Is there some proprietary secret sauce that goes into them that they need to keep under lock and key? The simple reason that no other automobile manufacturer produces their own seats is that it would be a colossal waste of time and money. If I was an investor, this would be a giant red flag. Also, to all of the people that laid down cash for a Model 3 “preorder”, congratulations – you just bought some really expensive chairs that you may not even get to sit in.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    What makes Tesla’s seating so special that they can’t farm it out to a specialty supplier for much less than doing it in-house?

    As others have also pointed out, if your car is a hand built niche “supercar” you might get away with that. If you’re trying to compete against the Toyota Camry, idiotic decisions will doom you.

    1. Tundra

      It’s incredibly stupid. Even the Lotus Evora, hardly a hand built niche supercar, uses a Toyota engine and other parts.

  35. Gilmore

    , I see this as a huge step backward fashion-wise. The old uniforms built on a few simple pieces–the light sweater, the canvas pants, the balaclava; all in classic black–that any aspiring jihadist might very well already have in their closet. And while a graphic tee might do well for team spirit, how will they stand up the rigors of rural life or training? How available are replacements? It goes against the whole logic of the prêt-à-porter aesthetic the Taliban and other international terrorist groups have cultivated from the very beginning. (Who could forget the clean lines of the turtlenecks worn for the massacre at the Munich Olympics or the simple elegance of Arafat’s checkered keffiyeh?)

    I can’t help but be inspired by this analysis.

    but, for the sake of argument, i’d offer that maybe the T-ban (*perhaps as part of their rebranding they’ll rework their name too, like v.2.0 Puffy->P.Diddy) have decided to take a leaf from late 1990s “Bathing Ape” aesthetic, which basically involved Japanese clothing designers taking early-1990s hiphop fashions (sneakers, hoodies, oversized t-shirts), and mixing militant images w/ various strange iconography on them, and sell them in limited batches for like $2000 a pop.

    Its basically hipster-taliban. and it needs to be a constantly moving target to stay ahead of the Afghan taliban and Arab jihadis, who quickly seem like poseurs for failing to update themselves for the new scene.

    1. SugarFree

      T-ban. Yes. And Talli-B for the youth line. Or maybe get really radical: FABA (For Allah, By Allah)

      1. Not Adahn

        Plus it reaches out to their Swedish recruiting pool.

  36. Rufus the Monocled

    You guys are gonna loooooveeeeee this.

    I just found out the government agency – the entity the left entrusts to do right by the greater good – handed a subsidized daycare permit to….a hooker who uses the place to tricks’ n kicks. It gets better. She was looking for a spot in…our daycare. I need to write a book.

    But narrative in the media is to crack down on private daycares like mine. A daycare with loving evangelicals and outstanding women, and that serves roasted red pepper pesto with De Cecco pasta.

    I swear.

    1. that serves roasted red pepper pesto

      Marcella Hazan has a sad.

      “Pesto may have become more popular than is good for it. When I see what goes by that name, and what goes into it, and the bewildering variety of dishes it is slapped on, I wonder how many cooks can still claim acquaintance with pesto’s original character, and with the things it does best”

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Meh.

        I’m as old school as they come.

        She too, as my mother put it, ‘did weird things’ with her recipes.

        On the flip side, we hired someone from Barcelona and she offered to make Spanish paella.

        Shhhh! Don’t tell the government.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        And she’s right. You don’t put god damn canola or vegetable oil in your pesto.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I’m confused. She runs a daycare, but wants a place in yours?

      1. Mad Scientist

        No, she runs a “daycare” to get free money from the government while she turns tricks, and needs to place her actual kid in Rufus’ Home For Pre-Orphaned Tots.

        I think.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Yeh….that’s the….ticket….

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Yup. She has a four year-old but her permit doesn’t allow her to ‘service’ that age group. Or some such.

        As for the food, I’m not a stickler for rules as it’s, you know, a daycare and the chef (she’s literally a chef) chooses the menu. I prefer that people offer their home/family recipes. For example, a few of my educators are Portuguese and sometimes make food they grew up with. Parents LOVE that shit when we improvise like that.

        1. Hyperion

          ” a few of my educators are Portuguese ”

          One of my top most wanted vacation spots is the Azores. I hear they also have an affinity for food and booze. I’m going to have to go ahead and forgive them for not speaking real Portuguese, which is only spoken in Brazil. No different to how real English is only spoken in Murica. Canada, Aussieland, and especially Britain speak this shit that is barely recognizable as English. But you know, us Americans are so nice that we pretend all those guys don’t speak total shit not English.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            I’m at the ‘whatever works for business’ stage of my life. If parents want sea lion blood pudding so be it. I’ll love it too.

          2. Sea Smith pudding? Enough with the euphemisms.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            That doesn’t sound very economical. Unless you have some dock frontage in San Francisco.

          4. pan fried wylie

            Have you ever seen a sealion, a daycare of scrawny canadian children can subsist off the blood of one adult male sealion for up to 36 months.

    3. Rasilio

      You should be tried in the International Criminal Court for your crimes against children.

      Peppers are gross

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I love peppers but snuggle to digest them for some reason.

        1. Grumbletarian

          Do you shove them into your belly button or something?

        2. snuggle to digest them

          TMI….

        3. Rufus the Monocled

          Jesus Christ. What’s with the auto-spell tricks?

          STRUGGLE.

          1. Don’t be ashamed to admit your peppersexuality.

          2. Count Potato

            Spicey.

          3. Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

            Yes, for Rufus, the Canadian version of the Spice Channel was…interesting.

      2. Hyperion

        “Peppers are gross”

        Blasphemer! Heretic! Burn him!

      3. Rufus the Monocled

        AND WILL YOU PEOPLE – SNAP, SNAP – FOCUS. A HOOKER LOOKED TO FIND A SPOT IN MY DAYCARE!

        NTTAWWT.

        I think.

        1. commodious spittoon

          HOT!

        2. Mad Scientist

          Was her name Minnie Mazola?

        3. Rufus the Monocled

          This is the LAST TIME I share a story with you all.

          1. You’re not the first person to have an auto-correct fail. Quit your bitching.

        4. Not Adahn

          You took her kid, right?

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            I plead the fifth.

            Let’s just say we’re wary for a number of reasons.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            I don’t automatically assume that a sex worker is a bad mother, but to be honest, the odds are quite high.

          3. Rufus the Monocled

            We know someone who worked for her.

            There’s potential for trouble.

            And I agree with your sentiment/odds.

          4. Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

            I don’t automatically assume that a sex worker is a bad mother

            From what I’ve seen, there are lots of moms engaging in sex work that are quite good. Enthusiastic, even.

          5. Not Adahn

            well, you know she’ll always be able to “pay the tuition.”

          6. Playa Manhattan

            Med School isn’t what it used to be.

        5. Pics or it didn’t happen.

  37. commodious spittoon

    Mmm… pork rinds. I hated this stuff growing up.

    1. Hyperion

      But man can kill with male gaze! STEVE SMITH NO USE MALE GAZE TO KILL ONLY RAPE, STEVE BETTER THAN HUMAN MALE.

    2. Rasilio

      Well, she is not entirely wrong.

      The overwhelming majority of rapes and sorta maybe rapes have nothing whatsoever to do with violence and everything to do with just not paying attention or caring about the other persons reactions

      1. Playa Manhattan

        No, she’s entirely wrong. Holding someone against their will and causing them pain IS violence.

        1. trshmnstr

          This.

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          I would think so.

          Ever been pinned down by buddies and can’t move not knowing what they’ll do to you?

          And that’s just for kicks. Imagine during a rape.

    3. straffinrun

      She misspelled taxation.

  38. Spudalicious

    I saw the Taliban uniform picture and instantly saw a training montage video set to YMCA.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      I had these for lunch. Jealous?

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Are you a potato expert too?

          1. No; I’m just not jealous that you had potatoes with lunch.

            Growing up, we had horrendous boiled potatoes because that was easiest for Mom to cook. Until she got a microwave, at which point we got horrendous baked potatoes because she could stick those in the microwave for however long and either way overcook or way undercook them.

          2. commodious spittoon

            I wanted sloppy joes because I’m a simple man with simple tastes. But I’m avoiding the carbs, so no buns. Then it struck me: mashed cauliflower. Sloppy Joe mix on mashed cauliflower. I use a quarter cup of potato flakes for texture.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            It helps to think of potatoes as pure sugar.

            Buffalo cauliflower is really good, though. I’m still trying to nail down the recipe.

          4. commodious spittoon

            YUM. Looks tasty.

      1. Spudalicious

        No. That is the garbage we sell to the rest of the country. The good stuff stays here. Any place that doesn’t have great fries doesn’t stay in business long. Unless it’s a fast food chain.

        Interesting side note, Simplot is THE potato producer in Idaho. They have an entire French fry production line just for McDonalds.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          RIP J.R.

          1. Spudalicious

            The sheer scope of the Simplot operation is mind boggling. And J. R. was very philanthropic in the state.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            And then other stuff like Micron.

        2. Michael Bluth

          It may not be as big as Simplot, but Idahoan is just as Idahoan. Even if it isn’t great, it isn’t bad for dehydrated potatoes and they do okay in a pinch. I’ll always have a soft spot as their plant is in Lewisville, fairly close to my grandpa’s potato warehouse and in the town where my mom grew up.

  39. Hyperion

    I’m sure this has been discussed here at length, but I missed it all. But I need to go back to something I brought up yesterday. Have the alphabet media strayed off the plantation? Have they forgotten to obey their overlords at CNN and NYT?

    DANGER GRANNY ON LOOSE!

    The comments are full of stuff like ‘How long before Trump starts pardoning pedophiles with nuclear dirty bombs hidden in their pants!’. Seriously, all of the sudden, the left are all against prison and sentencing reform. Obama apparently had multiple chances to commute this sentence and refused to do do. Now that Trump does it, it’s bad.

    1. Count Potato

      After they defended MS-13, I think they will take any position to oppose Trump.

  40. We’re getting a bunch of commercials for Democrats running for Congress because the two competitive districts have incumbent Republicans. One Democrat said the Republicans are making health care more expensive, and another says military weapons are being used in our schools, complete with showing off one of those “scary”-looking black weapons presumably with a thing that goes up.

    Meanwhile on another forum somebody commented that the Deep State is a bunch of nonsense, yet nobody on TEAM BLUE seems to have an issue with the idea of a Deep Business conspiracy running our lives. Indeed, one of the yard signs I saw for a candidate had the guy’s name and “Fight Corporate Power”.

  41. Gilmore

    Google: Ensuring salad is inclusive

    someone gets paid 6 figures to work on that shit. think about that.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Bubble

    2. Tulip

      I would require at least six figures to spend my time thinking about that shit. They may be underpaid.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      That’s not salad. It’s the food my kids feed their guinea pigs.

      1. Gilmore

        my personal-ideal salad

        of course i’d probably just scoop it up, throw it on a piece of bread and call it a sandwich. lil vinegar, and yum

        1. Count Potato

          That’s one of my favorites. But with regular tomatoes, chiffonade the basil, and without the pork.

          1. Gilmore

            “without the pork.”

            Prosciutto, and you are my enemy now.

            (yes i know Prosciutto is ham; i consider calling it mere ‘pork’ to be a grave insult nevertheless)

            agreed about the tomatoes (plum are better, but i went with the photo i found). i don’t know what chiffonade means but it sounds suspiciously gay.

          2. Count Potato

            Chiffonade means cut into little ribbons. Largely because of New Orleans, it’s part of African-American (eg. collard greens) and Hispanic cuisine.

          3. Rufus the Monocled

            Except it’s a Caprese and *technically* this is how it’s done:

            http://www.initaly.com/itathome/food/caprese.htm

            I too add prosciutto from time to time but I use a very light version. For example, culatello.

            I also ‘tear’ the basil or just chop it in small pieces.

          4. Rufus the Monocled

            Oh and only fresh bocconcini or mozzarella.

          5. Count Potato

            I heard that some Italians think cutting basil is bad luck.

          6. Rufus the Monocled

            Never heard that.

            But it could be true.

            I may have to try this chiffonade angle.

          7. Rufus the Monocled

            You know. Come to think of it, all the cooking shows and all the women I’ve been around (mother, grandmother etc.) both here and in Italy always tore it and never cut it.

          8. Count Potato

            Stack the leaves with the stems pointing in the alternating directions. Roll it into a tube. Then slice it into thin strips. It brings out the flavor of the basil.

          9. Rufus the Monocled

            Will do.

            Yes, cutting, tearing whatever brings out the flavours.

            I once used Thai basil but it’s not the same. I love Thai basil and its unique taste and bouquet but not on a caprese.

  42. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I think ZARDOZ needs to weigh in on this.

    https://aux.avclub.com/in-this-week-s-savage-love-shameful-1826577858

    “I’ve been married to my husband for two years. Five months into our relationship (before we got married), he confessed that he was an adult baby. I was so grossed out, I was literally ill. (Why would this great guy want to be like this?) I told him he would have to choose: diapers or me. He chose me. I believed him and married him. Shortly before the birth of our child, I found out that he’d been looking at diaper porn online. I lost it. He apologized and said he’d never look at diaper porn again. Once I was free to have sex again after the birth, it was like he wasn’t into it. When I asked what the deal was, he told me he wasn’t into sex because diapers weren’t involved. I broke down, and he agreed to talk to a counselor. But on the day we were supposed to go, he was mad about every little thing I did and then said he wasn’t going! I went crazy and called his mom and told her everything, and she said she found a diaper under his bed when he was 7! After this crisis, he agreed to work things out, but then I found adult-size diapers in the house—and not for the first time! I took a picture and sent it to him, and he told me that he was tired of me controlling him and he is going to do this when he wants. He also said he was mad at me for telling his mom. I told him no, absolutely not, he cannot do this. Then I found adult-size diapers in the house again this morning and freaked out. He says he never wants to discuss diapers with me again, and I’m afraid he might choose them over me! Please give me advice on how to make him understand that this is not him! This is who he chooses to be! And he doesn’t have to be this way!”

    1. Please give me advice on how to make him understand that this is not him! This is who he chooses to be! And he doesn’t have to be this way!

      Did he really choose this kink, or was it the result of some experience when he was very young (younger than the incident as a seven-year-old)?

      1. Creosote Achilles

        I don’t think most kinks are quite that clear cut of a dichotomy. It’s more of a scale with completely chosen and optional on one end and integral to one’s personality at a level similar to orientation at the other. But most of them fall somewhere in between and are a result of a complex matrix of previous choices and experiences so that when one encounters them, they ‘fit’ to one degree or another and just feel right. From the one person I know who is openly into it, I’d say she falls toward the ‘early experience that fucked her up’ end of things. Diapers aren’t one of those things that people experiment with and just decide to start engaging it. They tend to be pretty close to the core of who a person is from a kink perspective.

        Personally, some of the things I’m in to, I’ve been into a long time. Others I didn’t discover until recently and could pretty much live without. Shibari type rope bondage like that featured in the pictures in the article is one that I mostly picked up because it is a good way to meet kinky, hot, younger women and it facilitates other things I’m into. So I could get along without it and I pretty much chose it 5 years ago. But the reasons why I like it are deeper than that; the control, the ability to be both sensual and painful.

    2. Florida Man

      He should just leave. He should never have married her in the first place.

      1. Tulip

        Yep. He should find someone who enjoys that kind of thing. She’s a controlling asshole who should get over herself. He keeps telling her this is who he is and she insists he’s wrong? Yuck

        1. commodious spittoon

          Otoh, fucking ick. I don’t buy this non-judgmental bullshit, people with squicky turn-ons are gross.

          1. Florida Man

            I’m not saying the wife has to do his kink, im saying they shouldn’t be together. He’s not the one outing himself, she is the ass spreading it everywhere.

          2. commodious spittoon

            For sure. I can hear the Dear Abby letter dripping with That’s Not the Man I Married entitlement. Yeah, twat, he is.

            OTOOH, he shouldn’t have pretended he’d change and then not change behind her back.

            OTOOOH, to hell with everyone involved. Poor kid.

          3. Rasilio

            He probably wasn’t pretending. 99% likely he was honestly trying to give up his kink and discovered he was unable and while his kink is one of the more bizzare out there ones the reality is his wife is the asshole here. Yes she has an unqualified right to tell him he has to choose between the diapers and her but she has no right to try and control him the way she is.

          4. Tulip

            They should not be together. He won’t give it up and it’s not her thing. She shouldn’t have to participate in it, he shouldn’t have to give it up. Just divorce already, this is exactly the case of irreconcilable differences.

          5. trshmnstr

            Yup. Although, I have to wonder what sort of person is so averse to the kink yet still marries the guy. It seems like a really freaking big red flag if he’s wanking it in a diaper and that’s not even close to your thing.

          6. Heroic Mulatto

            It wouldn’t be hot if you didn’t find it gross.

          7. Creosote Achilles

            You speak truth.

          8. commodious spittoon

            We should bring back more shame to sexuality.

          9. Count Potato

            I don’t think that works.

            “Ohio teen caught having sex with wiener dog again

            WARREN, Ohio (WKRC) – Almost exactly one year after being charged with animal cruelty, an Ohio teen is now charged with bestiality.

            In 2016, the 16-year-old Warren boy was investigated for having sex with a wiener dog. Now, he has admitted to doing it again, according to WKBN.

            Now 17 years old, he is being held in the Trumbull County Juvenile Detention Center on probation violation.

            Investigators say a family member reported the incident to children services after finding the teen naked in bed with the dog.”

            http://komonews.com/news/offbeat/ohio-teen-caught-having-sex-with-wiener-dog-again

    3. Old Man With Candy

      I’m unhappy that SP has gone public with this.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Um…. ADULT diaper

    4. Suthenboy

      “Please give me advice on how to make him understand that this is not him! This is who he chooses to be! And he doesn’t have to be this way!”

      I demand that you be who and what I want you to be!

      This wont end well. I have seen too many ‘I thought I could change them’ marriages before. They all end up as a train wreck.

    5. straffinrun

      Are these old people or baby diapers?

  43. Heroic Mulatto

    big nigga

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That guy shouldn’t smoke, it’s bad for his health.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      No one should be able to own autoinjectors. Only licensed professionals should be able to administer the diabeetus medication.

      1. CPRM

        +1 California School Nurse Union

    3. Chafed

      Is he falling backwards due to his stroke?

    4. Playa Manhattan

      He’s invited to my birthday party. Good trigger discipline.

  44. Chafed

    OT: I’m going to a conference in Orlando in July (try not to envy me). The conference is being held near Disneyworld but not in a park hotel. Any FL glibs have any thoughts on staying in downtown Orlando as opposed to the conference hotel? From what I can tell it is not a bad drive. Downtown Orlando appears to have some good restaurants. I’m leaning in that direction but don’t want to make a major mistake.

    1. Florida Man

      Which hotel is the conference?

      1. commodious spittoon

        Don’t answer this. You know how Glibs groupies are. They’ll mob you in the lobby.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        50 bucks says on I drive.

        That’s where all the non-mouse conferences are.

        1. Florida Man

          That is where the giant conference center is so it is a good guess. They just built a top golf there which everyone raves about. I haven’t been.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            I’m still distraught about Ming Court. It’s a CVS now.

          2. Florida Man

            Sorry buddy. The restaurant business is very competitive here. There is something like 13000 restaurants and I-drive/restaurant row are some of the most brutal.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            I ate there twice in 3 days. It was that good. Open for 26 years, iirc.

            Some of the other places seem disposable, though. I remember telling you about the coupon book I got at MCO. Half the places were boarded up, including one that I might have possibly considered eating at.

          4. RAHeinlein

            Chicago – this place:

            http://bavettessteakhouse.com/

          5. Playa Manhattan

            What’s their schtick? Broiler hotter than the sun? Dry aging for 240 days?

          6. RAHeinlein

            No need for extensive aging with corn-fed, fresh, mid-west beef. Drinks, steaks, seafood, salads, sauces, dessert – all delicious. Plus great atmosphere.

            I spend way too much money at Bavette’s.

          7. Playa Manhattan

            It sounds a lot like Maestros, but probably with less of the midwestern corn fed beef.

            I have no idea what Harris ranch uses as feed.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I’ve had one place recommended to me over a dozen times: The Gaylord.

      I still haven’t been back to Orlando to try it, but I trust the recommendation.

    3. RAHeinlein

      I don’t envy Orlando. Stay at a Disney park hotel and appearances are deceiving.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        You don’t like fenced in pools????

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Er…. screened in. Mosquitoes.

          1. Florida Man

            It’s keeps leaves out too!

        2. Florida Man

          The one at art of animation has underwater speakers so when you dive you can hear “under da sea”

      2. Florida Man

        appearances are deceiving.-

        It’s orlando, not Thailand.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      Haven’t been to a conference in Orlando, but what kind of program/amenities is the conference offering and how is the conference hotel? If it runs all day with social events in the evening, you’re going to spend even more time commuting plus you can’t get back to your room during the day. If you want to go out, take an Uber to the restaurants from the hotel? Maybe not even need a rental? If the hotel sucks, the immediate area sucks, you have no desire to associate with any other conference attendees and it’s only 3/4 or 1/2 day program, then sure.

      Usually conference organizers need to fill a certain number of rooms, so not booking from the block can bf them (if you care). And is your company paying for it (and will go for extra expense beyond the conference hotel) or is it out of your pocket?

      1. Chafed

        It’s at the Four Points on International Drive. I have stayed there before. It’s not bad, just underwhelming. Company is paying so staying at a nicer hotel and renting a car is not an issue.

        So, stay downtown or at a nicer park hotel?

        1. Florida Man

          That’s 20-30 minutes to downtown. If you want to stay in a nice hotel in downtown the grand bohemian is very nice and walking distance to church street. Staying at a WDW hotel is going to be the same distance. If you stay at four points area, The Pointe has some nice restaurants, movie theatre and bowling alley. Avoid the Orlando Eye. Waste of time/money. If you do WDW resorts, Disney springs is a nice area for shopping food.

          1. Chafed

            Thanks FM. I was looking at that hotel. I appreciate your help.

  45. Gilmore

    A thought that pops up whenever anyone starts wheedling about how racist everything/everyone is (except themselves, natch):

    How people who fixate/yawp about racism so-flexibly jump between

    a) ‘abolutist’ ideas of racism – where racism is a noun, a thing, an object-“racism”, which once you have subscribed to, you are permanently aligned with the ideology of race-based-belief. A person “is” a racist. It is a state of being: you either ARE one, or you are not. Being ‘not-racist’ is its opposite. Once you’ve declared yourself not racist, expressions that might otherwise be based on racial characteristics are utterly free from this stain. There is no state of ‘in between’ where one is neither A nor B: it like like being pregnant. You either are, or arent.

    vs.

    b) ‘relative’ ideas of racism: where things can be ‘partly’ racist, unintentionally-racist, have secret-racist-motivators, even tho there are obviously other non-racial factors involved, the racist elements must be focused on and treated as tho they are central to the thing. Even if someone squawks and says, “but come now, clearly tv-shows like “Good Times” or “Sanford and Son” weren’t racist; they had the opposite intention entirely” – the response can be ‘ah, they may be excused from being *essentially* racist, but the stereotypes they promulgated were nevertheless partly products of racism, and appealed to implicit-racially-superior views of white-audiences. The poor-blacks and their poorness. “but other shows like The Jeffersons or the Cosby Show depicted blacks as wealthy, middle-class people”… ah, they continue to racesplain, “those shows were passively racist too, because of the way they set White Standards up as the ideal. how Silver Spoons and Webster made blacks into victims to be rescued by whites”

    in version b, Racism becomes an amorphous, everpresent potential quality, which can exist in greater or lesser degrees. Its no longer a noun, its an *adjective*.

    Well, “what’s the problem?” someone might say. “both things can exist in the real world”.

    True.

    You can have an objective, actual self-described ‘racist’ like Richard Spenser, who admits to having views about the essential superiority of the White Race (whatever that is) specifically due to its race, and not, you know, like, “1000s of years of history” or anything.

    AND you can have degrees of racially-motivated expressions, where “[example from famous movie” is on the high-end, and saying “Obama is clean and articulate” as a compliment is perhaps on the low end, but still qualifies, apparently.

    (*even to obama, who didn’t say, “i wasn’t offended” or “it wasn’t racist”, but rather “we have more important things to deal with; this is low on the list” – but still on the list)

    the problem, if there is one, is the flexibility with which mere-quality, or “one-drop” tint of racism in a subject makes them instantly 100% “Racist” as a whole.

    the example brought recently to mind was “Brexit”. when i asked someone what objection they had, that is what they said: “The policy was motivated by racism”. Not anything to do with the goodness or badness of whether being a member of the European Union had nationally beneficial aspects or not – it was that the people who were pro-brexit, whether they knew it or not, were motivated solely by race. When i said, “but sovereign control over policy includes far more than just immigration. it has large economic and political ramifications?” they simply wave them aside and go, ‘maybe, but that’s not what people cared about’. The issue of racism becomes all-powerful and totalizing no matter what topic it is injected into.

    i don’t know why it bothers me but it does; i am not a fan of stephan molyneux, for instance – i dislike his creepy stuff about disowning family and his talk-show-host surity in every opinion he has – but i never saw his harping about black crime rates (which may or may not have been motivated by racism) as being the single most important factor of his identity. but now that is how he is discussed. The “Racist” stephan molyneux. as tho all he does in his 1000s of online shows is go, “fuck dem negros” over and over again. Or Charles Murray. Perhaps the Bell Curve IS a bad thing, and has been used badly (like social darwinism) by racists to justify racism. But did he have some racial animus in his heart and mind when he wrote it? i don’t think so. but what difference does it make? Now he’s as 100% racist as Richard Spenser.

    end rant (II for day)

    1. straffinrun

      Labels mean you don’t have to think. I look forward to the day when you can say, “You know, that racist has a good point.”

    2. Count Potato

      Race is a silly, outdated, social construct.

      That being said, almost everyone tends to be somewhat ethnocentric. Ethnicity is closely related to language, religion, and culture.

      This is why I don’t have a problem with Tommy Robinson for being “up with English people” in England. Yes, English natives are also white. But they also share numerous characteristics that have nothing to with how they look.

      Whereas actual racism almost always results in lunacy because it’s a tower built on sand.

      1. straffinrun

        We may call it silly, but for many cultures around the world, race is a central requirement for being fully accepted as part of the “group”. That’s not good, but it really becomes terrible when race is used to pulverize those in the outgroup. The cultural norm in many cultures to treat guests and visitors well can help keep the murderous tendencies at bay. The govt forcing you to do business with other races is a sure fire way to breed hatred.

        1. Count Potato

          Oh, I agree the government should totally ignore race, and not force anyone to associate with anyone.

          1. straffinrun

            It’s frustrating. Slavery-Govt sponsored. Jim Crow-Govt sponsored. Affirmative action-Govt sponsored. Gun control-Govt sponsored. War-Govt sponsored. The govt fucks you and people still think the way to solve the problem is moar govt. Keep touching that hot stove. It’s bound to cool off some day.

          2. Count Potato

            Unfortunately, there seems to be an increasing number of people who consider being colorblind racist.

            Race will stop being an issue, when people stop making race an issue.

          3. straffinrun

            Race is too tempting a weapon to be wielded in the war on property rights to be discarded. We will get you money “by any means necessary.”

  46. Tulip

    Given how much I have whined about rain, I thought I should say: TODAY WAS GORGEOUS! OMG! PERFECT WEATHER!. I sat outside and enjoyed a negroni cocktail.

    1. Count Potato

      RACIST!!

    2. straffinrun

      Rainy season has started here. Humid AF and my busiest time of year. Beer will tastes good tonight, so I’ll cheers! to you with my ice coffee for now.

  47. Count Potato

    “Man, 79, sentenced to 90 days of house arrest in 5-year-old girl’s rape

    A man in California was sentenced to just 90 days of house arrest and five years of probation after pleading no contest to statutory rape of a 5-year-old girl.

    According to KTXL, 79-year-old Lyle Burgess does not have to register as a sex offender.

    “The girl is not doing good,” family attorney Ken Meleyco said of the girl, who is now 7. “She’s showing all the symptoms of somebody who’s been molested. She’s in counseling, and she’s gonna be in counseling all her life.”

    KTXL said Burgess founded Rare Parts Inc., an automotive parts manufacturer and distributor.

    “He’s obviously very wealthy and it’s just an example of how the wealthy people, time and time again, escape the penalty for what they did,” Meleyco said.

    Meleyco said Burgess was a friend of the girl’s family and the assault happened after the family was invited over to a cabin owned by Burgess.

    “They trusted this man, he was a family friend, and he took advantage of them,” Meleyco said.

    The girl and her family has filed a civil suit against Burgess.”

    https://www.10tv.com/article/man-79-sentenced-90-days-house-arrest-5-year-old-girls-rape

    1. Gustave Lytton

      What? Theres got to be something more to this.

      1. trshmnstr

        I’m guessing the evidence was really thin or something, because you can’t buy your way out of raping a 5 year old (pedo island excepted).

        1. Urthona

          He’s not given registered sex offender status either, which they even give you for urinating in public.

          He probably just plead guilty to this because he’s 80 and they gave him a sweet deal.

          1. Brochettaward

            I’m skeptical of media reports on everything. But I think I’d fight an accusation of raping a 5 year old to my last breath. When it was first posted, the leniency was rather strange to me. But there was an actual judge who let some asshole skate based on an influenza defense…so who the hell knows.

            Everything about it seems inappropriate, but outside one statement from the defense claiming the charge was motivated by an attempt to get money, there’s no explanation that comes close to as to why it was lenient. None of the media coverage bothers to do little things like examine the evidence involved.

          2. Urthona

            What if you were 80, you wouldn’t be put on the sex offender list, you wouldn’t get jail time, etc? And a 0% chance of any conviction?

            I don’t know man.

            Studies suggest people in this country plead guilty to crimes they didn’t commit all the time,

            DA gets numbers, he gets a slap on the wrist, everyone wins. American “justice”.

    2. straffinrun

      79? Jeezus. Bullet to the head or castration.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      “The girl is not doing good,” says the guy who supposedly graduated law school. So that might be a factor.

      1. commodious spittoon

        You can’t expect Mother Theresa of a child.

    4. Urthona

      Wait.

      Statutory rape? That implies underage consent.’ For a 5 year old?

      This has to be one of those bs pleas for a really weak case.

    5. AlmightyJB

      Not the first time for something like this and won’t be the last. You have to remember that most lawyers and therefore most judges and polititions are pedophiles so that’s why these assholes get off easy more often than not

    6. She’s in counseling, and she’s gonna be in counseling all her life.

      Only if you continue to fuck her up.

  48. DenverJ

    Not gonna read 305 comments. Jesus don’t you people work?
    Anywhoos: if said female is a member of a sovereign tribe, is she eligible to be a member of the US Congress?

    1. trshmnstr

      The Constitution sets three qualifications for service in the U.S. Senate: age (at least thirty years of age); U.S. citizenship (at least nine years); and residency in the state a senator represents at time of election.

      1. DenverJ

        They’re not counted in the census…
        I jest. All natives in the US are citizens. But it is an interesting question, isn’t it?

        1. Florida Man

          Are they? If you’re born in a consulate are you a citizen?

          1. Playa Manhattan

            John McCain is allegedly a US citizen.

          2. AlmightyJB

            So that standard seems too low.

  49. Rufus the Monocled

    Lol.

    Wife: Every time I change the channel and I see James he’s always complaining. He may be right but he looks like my students (she teachers Grade 1) whenever they feel an injustice.

    He’s a baby like Ronaldo.

    Neither of these teams are likeable.

    1. DenverJ

      James who?

    2. straffinrun

      I’d love to see a half hour interview with LeBron where the interviewer presses him to expand on his political opinions. Call him on his use of platitudes. “Give me a concrete example of a policy you’d like to see implemented. Are there any downsides to that policy?” Etc. I don’t care that athletes have opinions. Just don’t see why we can’t force them to show they have a nuanced understanding of the problem.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Not only that, I’d ask, ‘Kim Kardashian requested and was granted a meeting with Trump to discuss prison reform. She managed to get results. Would you consider using your popularity to also speak with the President and bring up any concerns you may have as opposed to railing from a position of privilege that literally helps no one except to soothe your misplaced arrogance?’

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        And I would have definitely asked Pop to expand on his ‘we are Rome’ quip after Trump’s election.

        I’m curious to see just how much he knows about Rome.

      3. Rhywun

        I have no idea about his politics but he did a reality show recently featuring competing small-biz startups in Cleveland. It was pretty cool.

    3. You mean “first grade”, of course.

      And a baby like Nadal.

  50. Yusef drives a Kia

    The City of Upland decided My corner Shrub is too tall, I’m going to cut it down, Damn Pretty is was, I need to get away from here……….
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/9h8LJg3x7c8GK0sz2
    Too tall I guess, Fucking Slavers……….

    1. Count Potato

      Too tall for what? The City of Upland sounds like it’s run by retards.

    2. mikey

      That photo really shows how much better the air has gotten in SoCal in the last generation(or two). No way in the 60’s would those mountains have been visible in June. You’d have been able to see the smog by the next block.

    3. Brochettaward

      Wasn’t your Kia destroyed? Your handle seems a bit misleading, friend.

  51. Gustave Lytton

    F— the USDA. This updated nutrition panel is awful.

    I miss the days before nutritional info was mandatory. It’s made packaging ugly. And really does nothing for improving diet or health. We’re only a couple steps behind the UK in limiting (ultimately by force) the caloric intake in the name of our health.

    1. Count Potato

      Nutritional advice from the U.S. government has a long history of turning out completely wrong. So they should just shut the fuck up. Telling people what they should eat is not a role of government.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Can replace “nutritional advice” & “should eat” in the above with innumerable other things government thinks it should advise on.

      2. Chafed

        What’s worse is they have demonstrated both their corruption and incompetence in setting those standards.

    2. Rhywun

      Updated again? Is this one of those administrative state things where they just implement whatever the fuck rules they want with zero public (read: Congressional) input?

      1. mikey

        Lobbiests have plenty of input, so it’s all good.

      2. CPRM

        Isn’t that what they usually do?

    3. CPRM

      Just for you, I’m naming the next episode USDA PRIME. For no other reason. Don’t try to read into it. It’s because of you.

  52. Playa Manhattan

    It looks like both teams are trying to lose.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Pretty typical.

    2. Rhywun

      In that case I hope GS tries harder.

      1. straffinrun

        Sweep.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Can’t they both lose?

        1. Rhywun

          FWIW, my NYCFC (Euroball) just phoned in another US Open Cup match against bitter rivals NY Red Bulls too. That’s like 4 years in a row now of just not giving a shit.

          1. Well, it’s the “US Open Cup”. Why should anyone give a shit?

    3. straffinrun

      1-14 shooting for Steph. Nice.

    1. Brochettaward

      “The overwhelming majority of SMW [sexual minority women] will engage penile-vaginal intercourse at least occasionally,” according to the researcher’s website. “New research suggests that SMW women have an increased risk of unintended pregnancy compared to their heterosexual peers.”

      This paragraph confuses the hell out of me. Are they saying that lesbians will engage in penile-vaginal intercourse? I read beyond that…and it seems that they are. Which seems like they’ve created a rather broad definition of what a “sexual minority” woman is.

      1. Rhywun

        So… college chicks?

      2. AlmightyJB

        I’m going with lesbo porn stars are hot and ready for me. Be in bunk.

      3. CPRM

        Well, what is their criteria? Does a strap-on count as ‘penile-vaginal intercourse’? I mean, this is basic stuff if you’re going to science the shit out of something.

  53. Gustave Lytton

    http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2018/06/trump_considers_pardon_for_ran.html

    Good. Additional prison time post-sentencing, and more so post-release, without a new additional conviction is a violation of the Fifth Amendment.

  54. Gilmore

    Jordan Peterson quotes get tossed around as examples of how ‘crazy’ he is, but most of the time i think his points are uncontroversial and sometimes a little insightful.

    latest example:

    “”If you think you are an atheist you are wrong, says Peterson, because your mind has been bent and shaped and molded by a god-fearing past stretching back into the unfathomable abysm of time.””

    I think this is basically right. not only that we’re preconditioned by millenia of behavior, w/ social-institutions that imitate religious process + ceremony…. but that there’s biological reasons for people to impute metaphysical cause for things. didn’t Dawkins actually suggest that there were neurological basis that lead us to assume this? (meaning, didn’t he point to science suggesting as much?) Its no coincidence that every human society on earth, no matter how isolated from one another, cooked up their own versions of supernatural overlords.

    but this is naturally being treated as some ‘kooky religious talk’ by the usual suspects

    1. CPRM

      Well, given atheists I’ve talked to, they do usually believe in a god; but it’s usually government. Me, myself, I consider to be a deist who respects the traditions and teachings of the Catholic church. And ‘atheists’ screech at me just like ‘libertarians’ screech when I say I have nothing against unions, but a collection of people has no more or less rights before the government than a single person.

    2. Rhywun

      That’s (yet another) one of those things that’s impossible for me to argue against because maybe I’m just an outlier. I don’t feel any of that but I can understand if other people do.

      1. Gilmore

        “I don’t feel any of that ”

        No one suggested you should or do. The point isn’t what anyone personally believes or what you’re conscious of. the point is about biological and historical predisposition and how it influences everything around us without anyone really being aware of it.

        one reason libertarianism is just so difficult for many is that the replacement of god with the state is deep and profound; the idea of order without “authorities” – people with invest with power – is instinctively difficult because deep down we need holy men and witch doctors to keep the gods happy.

      2. Gilmore

        The context of the quote might also be helpful; it was cited in this review, and subsequently made the rounds on the twitters

        http://www.theamericanconservative.com/articles/jordan-peterson-and-the-return-of-the-stoics/

        Inasmuch as the book contains any theology, it is probably closer to that of Paul Tillich, the Lutheran existentialist who was accused by many of being an atheist or even a “pantheist.”) Peterson’s is also a message that leaves space for social constructionism, because he makes it clear that we are inter alia social beings and we are the products of deep acculturation (of which our myths and religions are a crucial part). Like Jung, Peterson senses a secret unrest that gnaws at the roots of our being, because we have forgotten too much from our long and dangerous journey.

        none of this is new stuff; people seem to forget that joseph campbell achieved similar pop-intellectual-superstar-status in the 1970s/80s, basically pointing out that every religious text has similar repeating motifs and ideas and that we still employ these same symbols, character-roles, narrative-arcs, in everything from our notions of politics, to hollywood movies, to sports, etc. Campbell fortunately was of the left and at the time, hippy dippy jungian stuff was all the rage, so he was generally celebrated.

  55. CPRM

    Remember internet 1.0? That was awful!

    1. Tundra

      Almost 20 million views.

      Why?

      1. CPRM

        Because no subscribes to my page after watching Hat and Hair cartoons. It’s all the viewers’ fault.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Was expecting something static with BLINK tags & garish colors.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Only if it’s spacejam.tripod.com and found via AltaVista.

          *sigh*

          1. CPRM

            The oldest snapshot the WaybackMachine has of Altavista.com

          2. CPRM

            Back then I created two websites. One was to join my cult of the giant blue marshmallow man, the other was a fake site to register your friend as a sex offender. Good times.

    3. The sidebar has this image of a cat in a plastic box in a swimming pool.

  56. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hi!

    1. CPRM

      Ho!

  57. Yusef drives a Kia

    Beer!

  58. Yusef drives a Kia

    Cats and Dogs living Together…………..

  59. Yusef drives a Kia

    It’s finally Warm, so there is much work, Yippeee!

    1. CPRM

      Let me guess, beer!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        YES!

      2. CPRM

        Someone gave the elderly man too much to drink again.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Nephilium is the answer….

  60. Yusef drives a Kia

    Long vertical Ladders, 40+ feet in the Sky, many pieces of equipment, Life is good

    1. CPRM

      If a ladder isn’t vertical is it still a ladder? Things only someone with a Philosophy degree cares to answer…

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Straight, Bolted ladders are much harder to climb than Extenion Ladders

  61. Yusef drives a Kia

    460 volt , 3 phase, Careful
    But fun because I’m up in the sky, No one wants to come up where I go, so PEACE is upon Me,
    /I hate Humans

  62. CPRM

    Ok, Neph, your beer exchange seems to have killed Yusef; so maybe tone the next round down a bit.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I LIVE! FOR BEER!

      1. CPRM

        But damn, you’re manic. I can’t even give you an early look at the next ep because you’re bouncing off the walls.

  63. Yusef drives a Kia

    I get to blow my House up again for Bugs, not cool, Kiss Sunday Goodbye, I’m tired of cleaning up other peoples Shit, whether or not I get paid for it….

    1. CPRM

      Are you sure Neph didn’t lace that beer with meth?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Dude, not cool, I had A bad meth scene Younger, Meth BAD!
        Beer and Glibs works out fine
        🙂

  64. Yusef drives a Kia

    And now I get to coordinate 5 jobs in two days, Two are Static, known jobs, the other three are who knows, I hate those jobs……
    And the Phone will ring before I finish,

  65. CPRM

    Well, Yusef seems to be enjoying Neph’s brew to a crazy extent. I’m out to pass out. God speed Glibs.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m already Gone. Peace out Glibs!
      and CPRM!

  66. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Are we still ignoring alien orders?

  67. PieInTheSKy

    Not only are there no new links people do not talk on old links about lack of new links. Odd

  68. Slammer

    Where da links at?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Dingos ate them

    2. PieInTheSKy

      This is more like it

    3. Where MUH LINSKSKSKKI?