Spontaneous Cooking for One: Chicken Adobo

Previously, I promised to explain how I translate a dish into my cooking method. I made a Chicken Adobo inspired dish using a chicken thigh. It deviates from the general steps I outlined because I don’t reduce, then extend the sauce before returning the chicken thigh to the pan. Instead, I return the chicken right away and bring the liquid to a boil, then let it reduce while the chicken cooks. I also don’t add extra vegetables. I serve the chicken and sauce with some rice. When the rice is done, I added a drizzle of olive oil, some chopped parsley and squeezed a lime over it.

This is good example of how to come up with a sauce. I saw a Chicken Adobo challenge on “Eat Your Words” a Netflix show. It looked good and I thought I would give it a try. So I went online and searched for Chicken Adobo recipes. I flipped through quickly because I wasn’t going to make any of the actual recipes. Instead, I was looking for what they had in common. I found that they all used vinegar, garlic, and soy sauce. Some used white vinegar and some used apple cider vinegar. They all used LOTS of garlic. A very few (and mostly the ones that had low ratings) used onions. Almost all used black peppercorns, although a few used ground black pepper. All had bay leaves. Some used red pepper flakes or added a habanero. I was surprised that none used ginger. The majority of the recipes boiled the chicken in the sauce, and some broiled them at the end to crisp the skin. I thought about what I had found and came up with a plan.

I decided to use apple cider vinegar and soy sauce. I used a rough proportion of 2:1 vinegar to soy sauce. I used three garlic cloves (the recipes call for a LOT of garlic). I used two green onions and chopped the white part and put it with the garlic. I chopped the green part and set it aside for a garnish with some chopped parsley.

Mise en Place
Mise en Place

My method was as follows: I put a little oil in the pan. I seasoned a chicken thigh and added it to the pan skin side down. I wanted that skin really crispy. When it was brown and crispy, I set it aside and added the garlic and green onions to the pan.

Add garlic and green onions
Add garlic and green onions

Once I could really smell the garlic and before it got brown, I added apple cider vinegar and soy sauce. I added a bay leaf, a pinch of red pepper and some peppercorns.

Vinegar, soy and bay leaf
Vinegar, soy and bay leaf

The liquid came to a boil almost immediately and I turned it down, returned the chicken thigh to the pan and covered it loosely. A loose lid helped the thigh to cook through and still allowed the sauce to reduce.

Return thigh to pan
Return thigh to pan

By the time the chicken was cooked, (as always, use a meat thermometer – 165 degrees F) the sauce had reduced to a syrupy consistency. I plated it with some rice and sprinkled the remaining green onions and some chopped parsley over it.

Done!
Done!

Comments

286 responses to “Spontaneous Cooking for One: Chicken Adobo”

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    That looks tasty! and easy enough for me to do, Cheers!

  2. l0b0t

    Looks yummy. Love, love, love some crispy skin.

  3. Bay leaf salesmen have got to be the greatest con men in history. Has anyone ever thought “Hmm, this dish needs more/less bay Leaf?”

    1. CPRM

      Yes, homemade chicken noodle soup doesn’t taste the same without the bay leaf.

      1. I’ve made hundreds of gallons of chicken stock, for years I too fell for the Big Bay Con. Since I’ve stopped using it I have never had one person tell me the stock/soup/stew needed more bay. I’d wager you couldn’t tell either in a blind taste test.

        1. CPRM

          I taste it when I’m cooking, and I can tell the difference after the bay leaf has simmered in there.

          1. I’m sure that you think you can, they’ve gotten to you CPRM. Have you ever had a meal you didn’t cook, at a restaurant or dinner party, and thought “the bay’s off in this”? We’ve all had over or under salted or peppered meals, for a while chefs were putting rosemary on chicken like hops in an IPA, but bay? Nope, no one has ever sent an entree back because the bay was off.

          2. Not Adahn

            This shit right here is why conspiracy theories will always exist.

          3. Gilmore

            a thought:

            i don’t really know what bay leaf does, if anything, so i’m sympathetic to your case

            that said: celery and parsley have similar “not immediately apparent-effect” which is often unidentifiable as an actual specific *flavor*, but has huge/powerful impact on what you might call ‘mouthfeel’

            it changes the apparent texture of things, and helps other flavors come out or cut through in ways that you’d never be able to accomplish otherwise.

            i think they’re like ‘bitters’ and have particular value w/ starchy or fatty foods, in that they make the mouthfeel of fatty things less-oily, and less glutenous; they sort of balance things out.

            this could be wildly wrong, but its just my impression on the way similar things function.

          4. Michael

            i don’t really know what bay leaf does, if anything, so i’m sympathetic to your case

            It slices into your gum while you’re haphazardly shoveling food into your mouth. This is important because it lets you know that the cook was thoughtful enough to include something from the spice rack.

          5. DiegoF

            Or are you just trying to avert suspicion of your true identity, Mr. BAY? Only a true libertarian would understand so profoundly how Better Art = More ‘Splosions.

          6. I beg to differ. Bay adds a noticeable flavor to soups and stews, but I’ll concede that I don’t see much use for it in roasts or things of that nature. I don’t think it’s mandatory, but I can tell when bay is or isn’t in a chicken soup, say, or a beef stew. See, I think there are three factors. One is that a lot of people use bay leaves that have been sitting in their cupboard for seven years, and another is that for the flavor to really have an impact it needs to stew for a long time. If you’re sticking two bay leaves in a gallon of liquid for twenty minutes there’s really no point. Finally, it’s not a strong flavor, so it isn’t going to stand out alongside tomatoes, say, or peppers (like cayenne, not bell). Incidentally, bay is in a lot of seasoning blends, such as, ahem, Old Bay.

            I do sympathize with your general point, however, because I feel exactly that way about black pepper. I stopped putting pepper in stuff automatically alongside salt and haven’t noticed a difference to speak of. There are a few instances, such as in soups where there aren’t a lot of other spices and the flavors are sort of too complimentary for anything to stand out, where I think to myself, “This needs some black pepper”, but mostly I can’t tell if it’s there or not.

          7. Number.6

            When I make red sauce for one of my lasagnes, I cook that stuff good and long. You can definitely taste the bay. When I’m being nice to my guests, I even haul the leaves out when I make the lasagne.

            I also use it in my guinness steak stews. Again – long cook time.

          8. I think the length of the cook time is the key, then. I don’t often make red sauces, and when I do they’re typically no longer than an hour, max. I usually use bay in a bouquet garni for soups and stews, though, especially if they’re going to cook for a while, and then just yoink the bundle out when it’s done.

          9. Count Potato

            These euphemisms.

        2. Gilmore

          “”I too fell for the Big Bay Con””

          THE BAY LEAF IS A LIE

          1. Timeloose

            Bay leaves have a flavor that is certainly subtle when it’s in a big pot of some thing, but it does become noticeable when it’s not there. I notice when making a stew or red sauce. It gives a savory flavor to a big pot of food and has to have time to rehydrate and release it’s flavor.

            They are overpriced when purchased in a spice jar at the grocery store. I’ve been getting pint sized containers of them from the Amish grocery for $1.50. So I use an ass load of them.

          2. Gilmore

            Reference

            allusion to the game Portal, but generally understood as,

            “Our reality is an illusion being foisted upon us by robot overlords who are in fact manipulating us for some inscrutable scientific purpose, after which we we be inevitably be disposed of like used-kleenex”

            its a statement of fatalist nihilism

    2. westernsloper

      It is the one spice I never regret running out of yet I still buy it like a lemming walking to a cliff. I am with you on this one. I think a twig from the driveway would add as much flavor. Thank you for opening my eyes to the lie.

    3. Michael

      I add a few bay leaves to the liquid mix in the smoker tub (I’m sure there’s a technical term for this) whenever I smoke pork. It adds absolutely nothing to the flavor. It’s just a talisman to ward off bad juju and fools guests into believing that I actually know what I’m doing.

    4. egould310

      Bay leaf is very important for flavoring is n cooking.

    5. Count Potato

      Bay leaf is awesome. I heard it was originally used by the Romans, because it aids digestion.

      Anyway, it’s one of those things most noted in its absence. And yes, I’ve cooked things that tasted like they could have used bay leaf.

    6. Rufus the Monocled

      Big Bay Leaf.

  4. l0b0t

    I will posit that for a crawfish/crab boil or a pot of gumbo, bay leaf adds a very specific, necessary flavor. I am, however, quite agnostic to its use in a red sauce.

    1. egould310

      Must be in red sauce.

      1. How much are the McCormick brothers paying you egould? I hope that big herb money helps you sleep at night.

      2. Count Potato

        I agree. I always add bay leaf to tomato sauce.

  5. Michael

    I love this feature on Glibs. Following recipes has never been my forté, so articles like this actually make me want to try my own spin on something I wouldn’t have otherwise thought of (like making my own adobo sauce). That chicken looks delicious.

    1. SP

      Yes, I think these posts are a community service! (And with Tulip’s permission will go in our eventual Glib Cookbook.)

      1. Tulip

        I think we’ll have a great cookbook eventually and I’d be thrilled to be included.

      2. gbob

        I have this recipie for gruel I feed my orphans when they work in the mines. Mostly sawdust. Should that be included?

  6. westernsloper

    I have never heard of this adobo. A quick search says it is a Filipino thing. The only adobo I am familiar with is chipolte peppers thing and is really good. We lack Flips around here and lean way toward the mexican side of cooking.

    My cooking for one today consists of meat sticks and a chicken in the smoker with an Italian tri-tip sous vide I gave two hours of smoke to and finished on the gas grill. Food for the week.

  7. SP

    Thanks for another great post, Tulip! I really like your approach to de-mystifying cooking.

  8. Suthenboy

    I love the recipe articles. Thanks Tulip, that looks delicious.
    Wife made a pot of cowboy stew, or campfire chili if you like, yesterday. I cant eat enough of it.

    1. westernsloper

      Campfire chili

      Sorry I am immature and have issues.

      1. I thought your link was going to be this:

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qeilxKluTCU

        1. westernsloper

          Only a New Yorker would confuse picante sauce with chili. Jesus Ted you are embarrassing yor’self.

      2. Michael

        I don’t know what it says about me that my first instinct was to turn the volume up on my computer when I saw what the clip was.

        1. SP

          Probably nothing that couldn’t already be ascertained by you being an active commenter here.

          (Disclaimer: I don’t click links on this site. You think I’m nuts?!)

        2. westernsloper

          it says you know and appreciate cinematic genius when you see it.

  9. Old Man With Candy

    I would compliment you for a fine post if this weren’t cultural appropriation, but it is, so I’m going to start a Twitter fury.

    1. Tulip

      If you can find me on Twitter, come at me!*

      *I am not on social media.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        “In America, Twitter mob find YOU.”

        1. juris imprudent

          The indignation of the thumbs.

    2. DiegoF

      He only said it was adobo inspired. I take that to mean, because generosity is my heritage, that she is not performing adobo, which would be cultural colonization of brown bodies, but is simply inspired by the struggles of my people as she enjoys the privilege of cooking and eating her food as a white cishet in Trump’s America.

      1. egould310

        Wow. Nailed it.

        1. Not Adahn
          1. DiegoF

            Now that is awesome. And far more moving than the original, I might add.

      2. AlmightyJB

        Andale! Andale! Aribba!

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      How do we know that Tulip is not a thicc Latina?

  10. egould310

    Dinner for two tonight: New York Strip steak grilled with salt and pepper. Sliced and dressed with a pinch of truffle salt. Romaine hearts with sliced tomatoes, avocado, shredded cheddar, chopped bacon, and homemade blue cheese dressing. My wife made a lemon custard pie for dessert. The pie is keto, apparently. Almond flour, coconut sugar, and other stuff apparently.

    1. westernsloper

      coconut sugar? That is a new one. I am pretty sure any sugar is going to take things to non keto. e is not only a big shill for bay leaves, he is a fake sugar pusher.

      1. egould310

        Yeah. Had this conversation with my wife. Sugar is sugar. Gotta research for myself. It is a damn good piece of pie though.

        1. SP

          Great. Now I want lemon pie. Thanks, Mrs Gould.

        2. DiegoF

          It’s a low glycemic sugar. Don’t know much about what keto is supposed to do, so can’t say much. I see that the pie uses a high protein, low carb flour and puts in this low glycemic sugar, so is probably doing as best as can while still being a dessert. (Crust probably limiting factor.) If it tastes good maybe it’s worth it, as opposed to a smaller slice of “real” pie. I assume you probably can’t inhale a whole pie of the stuff.

          1. But Enough About Me

            I assume you probably can’t inhale a whole pie of the stuff.

            Challenge . . . accepted!

    2. Lachowsky

      I thought Pie poisoned all the Romaine in the U.S.

      Watch out for e. coli.

      1. Count Potato

        I had to throw mine out.

    3. robc

      Arizona Romaine?

      1. egould310

        No! Texas, probably via Mexico.

        1. robc

          You know Romaine is death lettuce right now?

          1. egould310

            I already ate two of the three hearts. Do i really have to trash it? It’s not from AZ. It’s from Texas.

          2. Rhywun

            I ate almost two hearts worth of salads over the last few days. Forgot about it being deadly :O

    4. egould310

      The New York strip. It’s Wagyu beef, apparently. https://twitter.com/egould310/status/988180388542529536?s=21

  11. egould310

    Nice article, Tulip.

  12. But Enough About Me

    I have a friend who can detect (and react negatively to) the smallest amount of bay leaf in food. Damndest thing.

    I used to use it in tomato-based spaghetti sauce recipes, but stopped many years ago and don’t miss it. On the other hand, my beef stew is a French/Belgian mash-up that includes bay as well as cloves, and the flavour changes noticeably if you leave the bay out. (Mind you, that’s also true of the cloves . . . ) The stew cooks for at least three hours, so there’s plenty of time for the bay to re-hydrate and release flavour.

    1. Count Potato

      I started adding cloves to the bouquet garni when I cook corned beef and cabbage. It makes a noticeable improvement.

      1. Count Potato

        (also bay leaf)

    2. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, I use bay for soup, stews, and braised and I think it adds good flavor. Need to find good fragrant bay leaves to start with.

      1. SP

        We planted a bay laurel tree in our yard in Austin. It was fabulous.

        1. Tulip

          My aunt used to send me bay leaves from her tree. When I can, I get them from the farmers market.

  13. Yusef drives a Kia

    Wow, a cooking post devolved into, Bay Leaf, Pro or Con? Cool……

    1. DiegoF

      That’s why, though I wish as many people read Glibs as possible, I am quite happy with the smaller, more civil crowd here as well. I can’t imagine what a TOS discussion on such a narrow but impassioned subject, tending to extremes in opinion with low likelihood of changing minds, would be. The back-and-forth between Sevo and Hihn alone is already testing my visualization.

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        just stay here, we echo, but a lot of new info gets out, and Glibs are Civil, Evil but Civil…

        1. DiegoF

          Are you the new Yusef or a parody imposter? I’d guess the former but I thought if you change something on your profile it changes on all your posts–let alone being able to switch up on a single thread.

          1. There are some posters who have a second handle because they had difficulty getting their regular handle to work on a device they travel with. I believe Hayeksplosives was Roadexplosives on some business trips because of that.

  14. RAHeinlein

    OT, but food-related:

    Any Nashville BBQ joint recommendations?

    1. SP

      Tweet to Brad Thor. He moved to Nashville several years ago.

      1. RAHeinlein

        “Tweet” – lol.

        1. SP

          That’s why I said it. 😉

    2. Gilmore

      Hog Heaven in centennial park

      its easy to miss, its just a shack off to the side of west end ave & 27th. You can eat on benches or eat in the park

      http://www.hogheavenbbq.com

      1. RAHeinlein

        Thanks!

        1. Gilmore

          while some have disparaged the application of mayo-based, alamaba style white bbq sauce on chicken…. their chicken is pretty much the bomb.

          their ribs and pork are also very good. i ate there twice a week for years.

  15. commodious spittoon

    “Mise en Place” is French for ramekins.

    1. SP

      No, it’s French for “more dishes to wash.”

      (But we nearly always do it.)

      1. DiegoF

        Does it make a difference, if you use an automatic dishwasher? (No, I do not know how a dishwasher works. I never had one growing up, and I never shook the intuition that it would be obscenely wasteful for a bachelor to use one. And no I never worked as a dishwasher; that may be my race but my face is strictly front-of-house material baby.)

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Bocuse used to have a midget who looked and dressed like a lawn jockey in the front-of-house.

          1. DiegoF

            Now you tell me of an opening. Where was this heads-up when I was in college?

        2. SP

          Apparently, counter to popular belief, a modern dishwasher actually uses less water and energy than hand washing a load of dishes does, the way most people do them.

          1. Number.6

            Probably true, because most people aren’t particularly effective at hand washing. Most of the water goes straight down the waste without touching a plate or pan.

          2. At pennies a gallon I can waste a shit load of water before I make up the cost of the machine, plus the detergent cost more add in the electric bill and the occasional “are these clean? I dunno, run it again to be sure.” and it’s at best a wash.

      2. I actually saw a TV chef once who suggested having all your ingredients out and measured before starting preparation because that way you’d have them right to hand when the time came to add each specific ingredient.

        1. Rhywun

          They all say that, and they’re right.

        2. Jarflax

          But then how do you properly get half way into a recipe and discover you are missing one ingredient? Fancy cooking requires at least one panicky race to the store to get an ingredient and get back home before saute turns into charcoal.

    2. Count Potato

      “monkey dishes”

      1. DiegoF

        Knowing the French, the backstory is probably something like it originated as a racial slur from the pays d’oïl people toward the pays d’oc swarthies who originated the little-bowl system.

  16. Tres Cool

    Allow me to take things a step-further. All the previous arguments…..deep-dish v. whatever, pineapple/ham v. anything else….the obvious payoffs to commenters from Big Leaf®, are all trifling in nature. This question was posited by the girlfriend to our guest as I was preparing Deviled AIGS: Mayo? Or Miracle Whip?
    (there is only 1 correct answer)

    1. Not Adahn

      I think that you’re asking about aigs answers the question.

      1. Tres Cool

        Clearly your pedestrian palate has no appreciation for finer things. Not to mention the historical value.
        Fun fact: we in SW Ohio also refer to green bell pepper as a “mango”.

        1. Not Adahn

          I make a deviled egg that would make Julia Child rise from her grave, divorce her husband, and ask to marry me.

          I have, on occasion also made deviled aigs.

        2. DiegoF

          That is weird as all fuck. History?!!!

          1. DiegoF

            And I won’t have you dodging this request either. Maybe you can resist my entreaties, but there is no way you will resist this.

          2. Tres Cool

            This seems as reliable/reasonable as anything: http://www.word-detective.com/2009/04/mango/
            Mama Tres used to cram a slurry of rice/tomato paste/hambuger (with 11 herbs and spices) in a bell pepper bake it, and call it a ‘stuffed mango”. God, I hate those things.

          3. It’s a Tinyurl. Of course I’m resisting it.

          4. Tres Cool

            +1 Mystery Link

          5. DiegoF

            Wait, are people not clicking on my tinyurls? Stupid question; they’re not clicking on links in general!

        3. Jarflax

          Born in Cincy, lived here 40 plus of my 50 years and have never heard a green pepper called a mango.

          1. Tres Cool

            Come on up to Dayton, where we also call cantaloupe “muskmelon”.

          2. Derpetologist

            I heard that a cockroach ate Cincinnati once:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtEpqlrwX5c

          3. Tres Cool

            And every Thanksgiving, the turkeys fall from the sky.

          4. Not an Economist

            Why would turkeys fall from the sky? They can fly can’t they?

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Mayo or GTFO! Sup Tres!

      1. Tres Cool

        Hey YUFUS!
        Sunday afternoon grillin’ and some Tall Cans!
        (my Kroger had 6-ers of Keystone Light tall boys for $4.99. I love a bargain.)

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I’m rollin Cobras and Cheddar Dogs on the grille Good Sundays!

          1. Tres Cool

            You need a bumper-sticker like this only with ROCK replaced with SLAB. Obvs.
            http://hankeringforhistory.com/see-rock-city-bumper-sticker/

          2. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Enjoy Beautiful Slab City!
            / the Irony when some Tourist shows up

    3. SP

      No. They are both disgusting.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Way to rain on a parade SP, and Why does my handle now rhyme with Rufus?
        Inquiring minds want to know….. 😉

        1. SP

          Hey, don’t blame me! I think it was Suthen….

      2. commodious spittoon

        You’re half right.

        1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

          Well, I’m still a Fool, and You’re a Towel!

    4. mikey

      Miracle Drip is NEVER the answer.

    5. Number.6

      Heinz Salad Cream.

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        you shave with that?

      2. Tres Cool

        Ill go ahead and count that as a ‘mayo’.

        1. Number.6

          It’s perfectly natural to me, as natural as “Miracle Whip” is evil, but its vinegar content is not relished by many Americans for some reason.

          1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            So does that make Miracle Whip The Devil in Glib Tarot?

          2. Number.6

            Miracle Whip is the stuff that comes out of Satan’s carbuncles.

          3. Number.6

            Come on guys, step up – that was prime fodder for a punfest. vinegar? relish?

            Haven’t had a good punfest in a while!

          4. commodious spittoon

            Chutneyour mouth.

          5. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Don’t over do it stud Muffin

          6. westernsloper

            Cranky German woman: HANZ, vinegar you going to hit ze kids with za miracle vwip to make them behave?

    6. Gustave Lytton

      Blue Plate or if you can’t get that, Duke’s.

    7. westernsloper

      Miracle whip was in our fridge when I was a kid and I blame all my dysfunction on that abomination of sandwich spreads. Mayo is the only way to go. Miracle whip is mayo by dupont and has poisoned generations of children by evil yet right thinking parents afraid of fat. Bring on the fat in food, bend it over and hit it good and hard with a side of protein.

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        My thin, strong little body Agrees

      2. DiegoF

        How exactly does it taste different? All I know it has a “tangy zip.” And that it is cooler and edgier than mayo–a consistent advertising theme steadily building over the GenX lifetime until it broke in the late ’00s after being shamed by Colbert.

        1. Rhywun

          I grew up on Miracle Whip because it was cheaper. Haven’t had it in years – when I tried it recently I had to throw it out because it’s not only disgusting, it tastes almost nothing like mayo.

          1. DiegoF

            Cheaper than the MAYONNAISE with the big black lettering? Seems unlikely. I think Mom just liked Miracle Whip and just told you that as she washed it down with her BEER.

          2. Rhywun

            I am sure. We were po’.

          3. My brothers and sisters got the cheap store-brand cola. Mom got Diet Pepsi.

          4. Rhywun

            Wegman’s Cola FTW

            My mom went thru a Diet Pepsi phase. It was the most godawful thing imaginable.

      3. I never used Miracle Whip or mayo.

        1. Tres Cool

          Someone trying hard for the UCS Glibertarian Of The Year award?

          1. Jarflax

            Gruel does a body good! On holidays you can add a pinch of salt.

          2. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Satan has know Taste, this is known………..

          3. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            or No…

          4. Not Adahn

            Au contraire! He’s a man of wealth AND taste.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          I never knew you were a brotha, Ted!

          1. Well I sure as hell ain’t a sista.

    8. Tulip

      Homemade mayo is the correct answer.

      1. commodious spittoon

        With bacon grease, obvs.

  17. AlmightyJB

    “Instead, I was looking for what they had in common”

    Yeah, I do that a lot with dishes. Figure out those core ingredients, then add and subtract based on my own taste and experience. Gotta love the internet:).

    1. But Enough About Me

      That’s how I built The Ultimate Cajun Spice Blend™. It’s awesome, if I do say so myself. And I do.

      For one thing, it removes all traces of the crap cayenne pepper and replaces it with any one of a number of peppers that actually have flavour as well as heat.

      1. But Enough About Me

        Aw, crap. I just lit the Suthenboy signal, didn’t I?

        1. juris imprudent

          That he hasn’t responded may mean you stunned him into catatonia.

      2. DiegoF

        Cayenne may be traditional in Cajun cuisine, but if it’s what contributes to its “heat,” there can’t be much of it, no? I mean, Cajun is “spicy” only by Midwestern granny standards (“ooh, that’s a bit too flavorful dear”); it’s fucking French food, and French-Canadian food at that. It’s not like when you think “hot” your mind goes to Cajun. Chili pepper is such a small amount of the flavor you get from the cuisine I can’t see it making much of a difference. If I were to improve something I think the low hanging fruit would be the (utterly omnipresent) green bells.

        Now, if you depended on cayenne for the heat in, say, Hunan cuisine, well that sounds kind of gross.

        1. Count Potato

          “Cajun” is mostly a marketing term to sell chili pepper food that has little to do with Acadian cuisine (which is like Creole for poor country folk, as opposed to New Orleans restaurants).

          1. DiegoF

            Gotcha. I don’t know much about “Cajun” used as a marketing term, apart from the actual Cajun food itself which is quite tasty and very distinctive. (I don’t know if that river trout is any good though; I’m a little nervous.)

            Do they have a lot of Cajun restaurants in New Orleans? I know Cajun country is right there in the same state, but I just assumed New Orleans has such a strong cultural heritage (and are damn high on themselves for it) it would not be a good place to get anything but New Orleans cuisine.

          2. Count Potato

            Creole is New Orleans cuisine. It’s inherently urban in nature, depending on a division of labor based on French haute cuisine (with Spanish and African influences). Cajun is more like provincial French cuisine, traditionally cooked by housewives, not chefs with a hierarchy of laborers.

          3. DiegoF

            Gotcha. I had heard the term “Creole” used for New Orleans cuisine before but I didn’t parse because I always call just call it “New Orleans” (in French and Spanish “creole” just means “Euro-American” from anywhere).

            I would certainly expect quite a few differences between Cajun and New Orleans, given that as you say one is a bustling (formerly) prosperous port city that is basically part of the Caribbean (and at that the one city so cosmopolitan that it represents all of the Anglo, Spanish, and French Caribbeans instead of just one), and the other is a farflung backwoods colony of French Canadian peasants. I’m surprised there are as many similarities as there are!

        2. I had a friend in college who was from Cambodia. One night he cooked for a bunch of us, and I commented that the stuff was good, but spicy. He laughed and said it was mild.

          1. DiegoF

            A lot of wypipo have the opposite problem at Asian restaurants. Whatever spiciness level they try to order they don’t believe them and give them a huge honky handicap. Me I order medium and they believe me; they give me normal Asian medium.

          2. I never got to go out to Asian restaurants much growing up. We weren’t exactly well-to-do, and my dad’s palate is UCS-level bland.

            Seriously, if I bread chicken, he’ll scrape off the breading. And he cuts the top/crust off of meatloaf.

          3. Rhywun

            I think I had Chinese food (not named “La Choy”) about twice before college. It barely existed where & when I grew up.

          4. Yeah, we had one small Chinese restaurant in town when I was a kid. I think the signs are still there, but I have no idea if the restaurant is.

            There were several German places, but only one is still open as far as I know.

          5. DiegoF

            Blame Dad’s finicky palate not your poverty. Asian restaurants remain just about the most affordable kind there are, so if you eat out anywhere make it there whenever you do!

            On the other hand, I remember one Christmas my car broke down in a podunk town and when I spotted the town’s Chinese restaurant down the street I rejoiced. Then I got there. Closed. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I asked a passerby and he acted like it was perfectly reasonable for a Chinese restaurant to be closed on Christmas. To this day this is my snooty urbanite “Foxworthy test” for backwoodness. You know you’re there when the fucking Chinese restaurant is closed on Christmas. Still can’t believe it after all these years!

  18. Sean

    Nice article Tulip.

    For those of you watching carbs, coconut aminos are a good substitute for soy sauce.

    1. Count Potato

      Soy sauce is high in carbs?

      1. Sean

        Not “high”, but supposedly messes with blood sugar levels and not recommended for those on the keto diet.
        https://draxe.com/coconut-aminos/

        1. DiegoF

          That looks broscience as all fuck. Add some libertarian shit and I think it would pass for an article on Mercola.

          1. Well, it is Dr. Axe.

            Can’t be any more unscientific than Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil.

          2. DiegoF

            Ah, “Palmer College of Chiropractic.” I really don’t follow health woo that comprehensively so I never even heard of the guy.

            Every con operates on a kernel of truth, though, even Dr. Axe. And I’ll tell you what ain’t no pseudoscience: his chest deodorant. My 10 year old cousin says it pulls the bishes like crazy.

          3. Sean

            Fine. I’ll just admit I’m a shill for big coconut.

          4. RBS

            I thought that was Q…

  19. Gustave Lytton

    Darn. I haven’t gotten around to cooking the last one from Tulip. Gonna do a chicken fricassee tonight to have leftovers.

    Spent the morning doing yardwork to get ready for beach time this week. Caulk boots for the homeowner are under appreciated.

  20. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

    “Caulk boots for the homeowner are under appreciated.” Wut?

    1. Number.6

      New Jersey Wiseguy euphemism #78621

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        so, google it?

    2. Gustave Lytton

      http://hoffmanboots.com/12-rubber-insulated-calk

      Good traction working in the yard, even on flat ground, especially on wet grass.

      Just got to remember not to walk on wooden decking, linoleum, garden hoses or run to the store for a quick errand without taking them off.

      1. Tres Cool

        So someone just made a hi-top golf cleat. I get it.

  21. robc

    Great Flood Saison with dinner. It tastes like disappointment.

    1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      Needs more ABV,

      1. robc

        No, needs to get rid of the aftertaste. I cant figure out what it is, it isnt quite metallic, but its off.

        1. DiegoF

          Don’t worry; you are just having a seizure. The taste will vanish without a trace when it passes.

          1. robc

            I nought a 6 pack and all 3 I have tried so far have the flaw. So unfortunately, the problem is with the beer, not me.

        2. Sadly, the current bottle of Malbec I’m going through has some sort of aftertaste too.

          1. creech

            I bought a bottle of Trapiche malbec today. Anyone tried it?

          2. For the moderate-priced stuff it’s fine. But I’ll admit that I’m not a wine expert. I just drink what I like and budget permitting try some more expensive stuff from time to time.

  22. KSuellington

    Speaking of bay leaf, if you want to get an idea of what it does put a leaf in the boiling water when you’re making rice. Just add some butter and parsley and fluff when it’s done. Delicious.

  23. Derpetologist

    It’s been at least 2 years since I cooked anything. I lacked the time and the equipment.

    If I had the means, I’d make my favorite: fried egg and bacon sandwich on rye with spicy brown mustard and cheese

    other things I used to make:

    -rare burger on pretzel bun with egg and cheese
    -beef soft taco with avocado slices and sriracha
    -oven baked tater tots sprinkled with Parmesan and red pepper with hummus for dipping

    In other [old] news…

    https://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Republicans-fertile-future-Through-the-past-2488626.php

    ***
    Over the past three decades, conservatives have been procreating more than liberals — continuing to seed the future with their genes by filling bassinets coast to coast with tiny Future Republicans of America.
    ….
    Take a randomly selected sample of 100 liberal adults and 100 conservative adults. According to an analysis of the 2004 General Social Survey — a bible of data for social scientists — the liberals would have had 147 kids, while the conservatives would have had 208. That’s a fertility gap of 41 percent. Even adjusting for other variables like age and income, there is a gap of 19 percent.

    “Liberals have got a big ‘baby problem,’ and it risks being the death of them,” contends Arthur Brooks, professor at Syracuse University’s Maxwell School of Public Affairs. He reckons that unless something gives, Democratic politicians in the future may not have many babies to kiss.

    “When secular-minded Americans decide to have few, or no, children, they unwittingly give a strong evolutionary advantage to the other side of the culture divide,” writes Phillip Longman, senior fellow at the New America Foundation. “If ‘Metros’ don’t start having more children, America’s future is ‘Retro.’ ”

    But wait, you may say: the attitudes of the parents don’t determine what ideology or political party their offspring will adopt as their own. Yet they usually do.

    In the meantime, liberals might mull over their options for thwarting Rove by bridging the fertility gap. In the Italian city of Venice, vendors sell tourists wishing to feed the ubiquitous pigeons bags of birdseed surreptitiously laced with birth control. But infiltrating the water system in Salt Lake City seems a rather diabolical tactic in pursuit of political domination.
    ***

    That last line- wow.

    Socialism is a self-correcting problem.

    1. robc

      Idiots. Clinton won Salt Lake County.

    2. Setting aside the horrifying eugenics the author dances around proposing, I’ve actually heard and read the exact opposite claim. Demographics which have voted Democrat over the past several elections seem also to have larger families. They’re more likely to meet or exceed the “replacement rate” of two children per couple. That combined with the admittedly-dubious evidence suggesting a trend towards more traditionally Progressive voting patterns among soon-to-be voters would indicate that the problem is actually the opposite of what the author is positing.

    3. Gilmore

      “thwarting Rove”

      Is Karl Rove actually quoted in the article, or is he just some boogeyman they invoke, expecting the very sound of his name to inspire terror?

        1. Derpetologist

          Supposedly, Dubya referred to KR as Turd Blossom.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nicknames_used_by_George_W._Bush

    4. DiegoF

      I was giddy at grasping this straw of hope until I saw just how old this article you foisted upon us is. There is surely some significance to the fact that no one talks like this anymore. There’s been an “emerging Democratic future” every decade now for the better part of a century, but I think it really will get here soon. Republicans are not getting nonwhites, they have lost Asians and Muslims, they are doing poorer than expected among Latinos, the Jews are assimilating into hyper liberal prog wypipo, they are losing women rapidly, their gap among the young is so enormous that it might not ever dissipate, they are rapidly losing suburban bougies. We are FUCKED.

      1. straffinrun

        Everybody turns white, old and male at some point.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I’ve accepted that my wife will turn old, but if she turns white and male, I’m bouncing her ass out the door.

          Miss me with that gay shit.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Obviously, the solution is for the Nu-Republicans to amp up the appeals to white “working” class xenophobia, envy, and resentment.

        Pence/Tancredo 2024!

        1. DiegoF

          Check out Mr. Cosmotarian here.

        2. Call me Pollyanna but I’d like to think that if Team Red ever got its shit together there’s a salable platform of small-government conservatism they could dust off and polish up for a new generation of “Reagan Democrats”, so to speak.

  24. Gojira

    I enjoy these articles. I’m terrible at cooking. Like, in ways you wouldn’t believe. I can screw up the easiest thing in the world. But enough of these articles have looked simple enough that it makes me want to try them.

    1. Tulip

      Just go for it!

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        I have some thighs ready to go for Monday, I’m going to give it a shot, The Wife likes it…….

    2. egould310

      Learn how to cook an egg and you will be golden. Also, how to cook pasta al dente.

      1. Why are you trying to carb-load us?

        1. DiegoF

          We are running a marathon. Don’t hold us responsible for not tempting you, slaver.

        2. egould310

          Fattening you up for the kill.

          Anyways, I’m going to go wash dishes and watch episodes of Peter Gunn on Amazon Prime.

          1. Original Peter Gunn, or some reboot?

          2. DiegoF

            Original of course! Nothing beats that feeling of déjà vu.

          3. Number.6

            Meh. Déjà vu. I can take it or leave it.

            Just like I did last time.

          4. egould310

            Original. I will watch anything Blake Edwards wrote/directed/produced. The guy was a freakin genius. And next to Kubrick, is probably my favorite director.

      2. DiegoF

        Then learn how to mix the pasta with the egg, and bacon, and grate some cheese over it! When in Rome or out of it, make carbonara for breakfast!

        1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

          “carbonara” what’s that WOP for Burnt food?

          1. Derpetologist

            fun fact: carbon means coal in Latin

            carbonara refers to hearty meals meant to be survived to coal miners, back in the day when it was done with muscles and picks

          2. Derpetologist

            life expectancy for Chinese coal miners:

            ***
            The average life expectancy in the coal mines for those starting work at 15 y was found to be 58.91 y and 49.23 y for surface and underground workers respectively.
            ***

            life expectancy for US coal miners is 14 years less than average.

          3. Count Potato

            As far as I know alla carbonara was invented during World War II when Italians got bacon and eggs from American GI’s, and the name is from the black pepper.

          4. Derpetologist

            oh, damnit- served not survived

            me fails english

          5. DiegoF

            No, “Yusef” is WOP for “burnt food”–or fish food, take your pick–once Rufus reads that shit. I hope for your sake you’ve been using a proxy.

          6. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Coming from a Spic, I find that funny,
            /Joseph ADAMS

          7. DiegoF

            Who is joseph adams?

          8. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Yusef=Joseph
            Adama=Adams
            all of it= Caprica
            BSG much?
            Hell, have you been around here much? All know me and Fear SP, this is known…….

          9. DiegoF

            Of course not! You know how long I’ve been here! I’m the newfaggiest of newfags, and none too bright either. Even that college kid who checked in yesterday probably knows more about what’s going on than I do.

          10. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            I’ll also add that Rufus likes me because I HAVE A JOB, so don’t involve him, and until now, I didn’t ad Hominum, You’re Welcome

        2. Bacon? next you’ll tell’em to add cream.

          1. Only if I’m serving it in a white room.

          2. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Better have Black Curtains, your are the Devil you know….

  25. Gilmore

    The text on the sidebar of the weather website i go to makes me wonder something….

    How Earth Day grew to empower 1 billion people worldwide to preserve our planet’s health

    Every April 22, those passionate about restoring the planet’s health commemorate Earth Day, which was first recognized in 1970.

    – Read Story

    ‘Preserve’
    vs
    ‘Restore’

    which is it?

    if its “preserve”, i’d appreciate it if they set some benchmarks about what it is that needs to ‘stay the same’, and what range they think qualifies as ‘environmentally-healthy’.

    if its “restore” i’d appreciate it if they specified what conditions in the recent (or distant) past they considered environmentally-healthy, and how they intend to engineer that outcome.

    my problem w/ environmentalists is that they never specify what the conditions for “normal” are.

    1. Did the article mention Norman Borlaug?

    2. Derpetologist

      I believe this cartoon explains the beliefs of the marxist watermelons very well.

      1. Number.6

        They believe in nonexistent links?

      2. Derpetologist

        oh, nuts:

        here

        1. Damn your nimble fingers!

          1. Derpetologist

            Eh, if I had nimble fingers, I’d have done it right the first time.

        2. Gilmore

          “what if we just re-direct hundreds of billions of dollars over decades for no apparent real-improvement in human life? WHATS THE HARM IN THAT”

        3. DiegoF

          I know it’s New York, but can I at least strap a pneumatic cannon that just shoots these at every crowd of progs I encounter?

          1. Derpetologist

            The most meaningful complimented I’ve received was from a proggy friend who said: you make good arguments for things I think are evil.

            Said person was in favor of the Singapore approach to things he didn’t like: punishments so terrifying no one dares to break the law.

            Yikes.

            I think the election of Trump may have gotten through some of their heads.

            Otherwise, invoking Detroit is the only way to get through to them, as I discovered while compiling the Derponomicon:

            ***
            http://www.mackinac.org/10743

            I am not really well versed enough in the policies or politics of Detroit or much of upper Michigan for that matter. Conservatives like to claim that Detroit is a failure of liberal policies because of the rampant crime and poverty prevalent there. But a lot of Detroit’s problems are rooted in the fact that it was built around the auto industry, and the auto industry took a big hit with the advent of the foreign car boom in the early 70s. In fact, if you look at the popularity of foreign cars and their rise, you can see a correlating decline of the US auto industry, and with it, Detroit. Detroit also used to have a booming music industry. The issue is, in most of these major cities that are crumbling, is the industries that were once holding them up, abandoned them. And for every example of “liberal failures” that conservatives love to harp on so much, look to all the southern red states. Your home state of West Virginia for instance, has the worst education and poverty in the country yet the coal industry is thriving there. Mississippi, Georgia, Louisiana, Alabama, etc. Are all failures as well. In fact there are more rural whites in red states on welfare and food stamps than any other group. For every Detroit, there is an entire red state that is failing due to the polar opposite policies of suppressing workers rights, civil rights, education, minimum wage, etc. Perhaps the answer is in a healthy balance.
            ***

            He sort of punted on this one, but at least he hinted that Team Blue may not have all the answers.

      3. Cool cartoon, bro.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Earth Day showcases man’s limitless hubris.

      1. Derpetologist

        my favorite failed earth day prediction from 1970

        “The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.” — Kenneth Watt

        and this is a close second

        “Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.” — Harvard biologist George Wald

        repent, sinner! the end is nigh!

  26. l0b0t

    We just did our first sous vide chicken breasts, a big batch for chicken salad, and they are amazing. So very juicy and tender, with a uniform texture all the way through. 150° for 1 hour was the sweet spot for us.

  27. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

    I just rigged a MIDI controller to my Tablet, it Works! I like the HEAT Synth for Android mostly, very Functional,
    Electronica forever! (as well as Rock, Reggae, Blues. Jazz, etc)

  28. straffinrun

    Looks a lot like the way I make garlic chicken. What’s a good substitute for the apple cider vinegar? I’ve never seen it here.

    1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

      White Vinegar I think…

      1. straffinrun

        Rachel Dolezar’s douche?

        1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

          I’d hit that, if it admitted it was fakin the Black girl, then Fucked me like a Black Girl…..

          1. straffinrun

            I see you guys have, uh…. been drinking. *Heads to fridge to get caught up*

          2. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Well, you did just get off work, you do work right?

          3. straffinrun

            Nah, I just got up. Off today, but back in the mines tomorrow.

      2. DiegoF

        He said “garlic chicken” not “window cleaner.”

      3. Tulip

        White vinegar.

        1. straffinrun

          That’s two for the white vinegar. Motion carried, thanks.

          1. Not Adahn

            White wine

            Cider vinegar is only about one tenth as acidic as white vinegar (by pH)

          2. Count Potato

            They are both around 5% acetic acid. Some cider vinegars are a bit less (4.5%).

    2. Number.6

      Rice vinegar?

    3. DiegoF

      Why you want a substitute for the apple cider vinegar?

      1. straffinrun

        I’m pretty sure it would take a trip to a specialty store to get it. Hell, it even takes a trip just to get baking soda and not baking powder.

        1. Number.6

          Apple cider vinegar is a “thing” in bogus diet circles.

          If your place has stores that might sell stupid Instagram things like selfie sticks, duck pout training courses and “juicing blenders”, they might also have apple cider vinegar.

          1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Now tell us how you really feel about Hipsters…

          2. Number.6

            Not sure it’s really a hipster thing. More a “vacuous, worthless famewhore” thing.

          3. straffinrun

            That makes me feel better. I thought people were carrying those sticks around so I had something to beat them to death with. Pictures, eh?

          4. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Straff, we call those “sticks” Samurai swords, so be careful

          5. Number.6

            It’s not the same as white vinegar, and in some recipes, the difference is noticeable, but in essence, sure, it’s white vinegar.

          6. Don’t forget he’s in Japan.

          7. DiegoF

            Oh fuck! I forgot. Probably the only thing harder to find would be hot dogs or mashed potatoes.

        2. DiegoF

          I can’t imagine that would be the case. Maybe if you’re dependent on bodegas, but I haven’t found a single supermarket that doesn’t have the giant bottle of Heinz and probably the store brand too. Fuck if they still had them there would have been white bottles with black blockletter APPLE CIDER VINEGAR by the late ’90s at the latest. It’s about as much of a specialty product as cumin.

          1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            True! I have a bottle of white label in the cupboard, good call ,forgot..

          2. straffinrun

            You guys are making me google stuff at 9am. “Bodegas”. Oh.

          3. Number.6

            We’re not just entertainment, we’re an education too!

    4. Tres Cool

      Heinz Salad Cream?

      1. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

        Olympia
        Brew 102
        Pearl
        Lucky lager
        Heinz salad cream

        1. Tres Cool

          The Crown Royal just made an appearance. The forecast for tomorrow is 70% chance of painful.

      2. Number.6

        Yeah, it’s basically egg and vinegar with a smidgen of mustard. It fulfills the ecological niche of mayo in the traditional British kitchen.

        Personally, I think that it makes a great ‘dressing’ for potato and mushroom salad if thinned with some milk, but everyone I know thinks it’s barfworthy. Maybe it’s a kind of English kimchee.

        1. Tres Cool

          Well, your ilk DOES eat fish for breakfast. And baked beans. So there’s always that….

          1. Number.6

            I do miss a good three-course breakfast like we had back when we had an empire …

          2. Tres Cool

            “Smoke me a kipper, Ill be home for breakfast”
            /Ace Rimmer

          3. And Marmite, which is basically yeast shit.

          4. Number.6

            I’m not much of a fan of Marmite, but at least it’s shit from yeast that are meat stock. Unlike those worthless, godless Australians who eat the shit of Vegan yeast.

          5. Russian Kia Drives Yusef

            Meat. Potatoes, Meat, Toast, Meat Bisquits and Gravy, oh and some eggs, Milk and Coffee
            AMERICA! FUCK YEA!

          6. trshmnstr

            I see you’ve been observing my eating habits, Yusef!

    5. Count Potato

      Malt vinegar would work well. So would white wine vinegar. No idea what you could find locally. Except rice wine vinegar. Which has very little taste.

      But a quick search shows it’s called “ringo su” in Japanese, so it’s common enough they have a name for it.