Good Friday Morning Links

Well today was a historically significant day.  The US bought Alaska from Russia for $7,200,000. The Romans killed Jesus Christ. Texas reentered the Union. Gandhi announced his resistance to the Rowlatt Act. Miles Davis released “Bitches Brew”. John Hinckley shot Reagan and three others. Vincent Van Gogh and de Goya were born. As was Robert Bunsen, inventor of the Bunsen Burner.  Also born on this date was Ingvar Kamprad, the recently deceased founder of Ikea. Warren Beatty shares the date with them as well as Jerry Lucas, superstar basketball player of his era as well as a Buckeye standout. Musicians Eric Clapton, Tracy Chapman, Norah Jones and Celine Dion were also born on this date and share it with “actor” Ian Ziering of 90210 “fame”, M.C. Hammer, Robbie Coltrane and all-around assclown Richard Sherman.

It wasn’t this exciting, but yesterday was a good game.

My, what a Opening Day!!!!  The White Sox’s Matt Davidson went yard three times, although ESPN is fixated on Giancarlo Stanton’s two dingers for the Yankees, in their win over the Royals. The aforementioned New York team beat the Blue Jays. The Tampa Bay Rays took care of the Red Sox. The Cubs hung dog balls on the Marlins. The M-E-T-S, Mets Mets Mets! dumped the Cardinals. Our very own OMWC’s Baltimore Orioles took down the MINNESOOOOODA TWIIIIIIIINS (yeah, I’m probably doing it for baseball too). The Brew Crew put down the Padres. The Mariners dropped Cleveland. The D-backs drilled the Rockies. The San Francisco Giants managed one measly run on Clayton Kershaw, which was enough to win (sad trombone for Dodgers fans). The good news for Dodgers fans is that Cody Bellinger only struck out twice! Although he did nothing with his other at bats.  Oh yeah, and the Astros have a two-game winning streak: Game 7 in LA and opening day in Arlington, as they dumped the Rangers.  Good times, people. Good times!

Ten games on the ice! Winners were: Boston, who have leapfrogged their opponent second in the Wales Conference standings, the Dead Wings, the Penguins, the Senators, The Predators, the MINNESOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIILD!, the Blue Jackets, the LA Kangz, Canucks and Chicago Blackhawks, who coincidentally used a local accountant between the pipes in the third period after injuries to their two other goaltenders. Seriously, that happened.  Go look it up.

And “go look it up” will be the theme for today, as I can’t be arsed to do it for you in…the links!

The absurdity of California’s cancer warning labels reached new heights yesterday.Looks like Starbucks is going to have to label that everything they sell causes cancer.   Lol, you can’t make this shit up. I hope people catch on and continue diluting the meaning of these idiotic warnings and get it to the point where they are removed for lack of impact.

I guess they’ve moved that ankle tracker to her wrist

I guess when you’re no longer able to dole out government largesse in exchange for money, the well gets a little shallower.  That’s what Hillary Clinton is finding out, as she gave a speech yesterday at Rutgers, who needs to be removed from the Big Ten for sucking so bad by the way, for which she received a whopping $25,000.  Jeez, that’s quite the dip from the half-mil her husband was paid by a Russian energy firm immediately after they were giver special access to the State Dept. Wait, that was just a coincidence. Just ask the Obama White House.

Finally, Dems will get the Cold War with Russiathey were hankering for all last year.  They’re going to expel 60 American diplomats in retaliation for the ones we just expelled in retaliation for the alleged assassination of a Putin critic living in England.   All this after the British and French expelled 60 diplomats or something.  I don’t know the numbers. All I know is this is the kind of ratcheting up of tensions the peace-loving left have been bitching for ever since Trump was duly elected installed by his puppet-masters in the Kremlin.

Better listen to him. He’s crazy enough to do it!

Kentucky passed a pension overhaul that preserves pensions for the vast majority of state workers,  I’ve got a novel idea: abolish all the state pensions and treat these people like adults who are able to fund their own pensions like the rest of the civilized (at least in America) world.  A 20 year government career shouldn’t enable someone to collect twice what they earned from age 45 to 85, while getting full medical coverage on my tax dollars.  Sorry, but that’s an absurdly irresponsible stewardship of my money.

States who have legalized pot want to sit down with Jeff Sessions and come to an agreement on what the feds are planning to do.  The WH lifted a rule that kept the Feds from enforcing federal law in states that had legalized the drug.  I don’t recall enforcement of any kind taking place, but the law hangs over growers, sellers and users like the sword of Damocles and there really does need to be some resolution made.  Hopefully this will be the start of it.

And in the only link I’m providing (;-D), a Pasadena, TX police officer shot somebody yesterday. But don’t expect it to make the news.  I’m thinking he ought to get a medal for bravery, although I may have to question his ability to see what’s downrange.  Either way, that asshole had it coming.

Enjoy one of the greatest bands of all time.

And have a happy Easter.

Comments

578 responses to “Good Friday Morning Links”

  1. straffinrun

    I guess the links were Marked for Death.

    1. Mr Lizard

      That’s what happens when you are under siege.

    2. Noodlez

      Must have been a Fire Down Below

      1. surely that can only happen On Deadly Ground.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          These links make me want to punch Kelly LeBrock.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      An executive decision was made

    4. Shpip

      This thread’s going to be Hard to Kill.

      1. Drake

        Damn.

        I’m asking for Absolution.

    5. Drake

      That dude in the car was Hard to Kill.

      1. A repeat? Do you think you’re Above the Law?

        1. Waterfall Insurance

          To his credit it takes a lot to get someone out of a coma.

    6. WTF

      How bad were the Exit Wounds?

    7. Chipwooder

      These puns are already Half Past Dead

      1. WTF

        You haven’t even seen a Glimmer, Man.

        1. Chipwooder

          Something something Today You Die

    8. Badolph Hilter

      Steven Segal movies: dumb

      Puns: dumb

      Erika Eleniak writhing her way out of a cake: not dumb

      1. Steven Segal movies: dumb

        Fair enough

        Puns: dumb

        BURN, HERETIC!

    1. AlexinCT

      Can’t say I am surprised California is where it is now, and heading towards worse. It’s not like we haven’t had enough examples of how this sort of stupidity always plays out…

      1. The 100,000 Venezuelan bolívar banknote is worth just US $2.

    2. Plisade

      #calizuela

  2. Pope Jimbo

    Who posted this morning? Charles Darwin?

    (because of all the missing links)

    1. straffinrun

      There certainly is some bullet point mutation going on around here.

    2. trshmnstr

      You have quite an evolved sense of humor

    3. I did. I figured you guys would either:
      A. Enjoy a nice research project
      B. Ignore what I wrote beyond sports scores and post your own links anyway

      1. Hey, I gave you the cop shooting link (with a video!) and Queen. That’s enough for anybody to be satisfied.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I know. And I think a comment referencing sub-humans is on topic for a cop story.

        2. Queen is always satisfactory

      2. straffinrun

        C. Involves Jergen’s and a Connie Chung poster.

        1. Ugh, Jergens? How bourgeois.

      3. TK

        Some of us actually click the links you post. 🙁

        1. You are a rarity!

        2. And Happy Easter!

        3. I come here for the cat photos and Panda Huggles.

  3. wchipperdove

    ‘Every Word Liberals Say About Guns is a Lie’ https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2018/03/29/every-word-liberals-say-about-guns-is-a-lie-n2465529

    Apologies if this has been linked already.

    1. Psycho Effer

      I forgive you, but only because it can’t be said often enough.

      1. wchipperdove

        Peace be with you. Please exit thru our gift shop.

    2. trshmnstr

      I’m also in the “get on with it” camp RE: repeal of the 2A. This incrementalism is death to liberty. We’re due for an overconfident populist movement to unintentionally kick off a massive and unwavering response.

    3. Including “and” and “the”.

    4. Badolph Hilter

      Haven’t read the link yet, I predict Schlichter will take a calm and measured tone in an attempt to soothe the progressives into agreement with his positions.

      1. Or he will link to his fiction books as proof of something.

  4. The White Sox’s Matt Davidson went yard three times, although ESPN is fixated on Giancarlo Stanton’s two dingers for the Yankees, in their win over the Royals.

    Eastern Sports Pride Network.

    1. robc

      Its not NESPN, but that is the bias, not east.

      1. trshmnstr

        Yup

    2. Chipwooder

      Matt Davidson is a scrub on a team going nowhere, Giancarlo Stanton is the reigning NL MVP on a title contender. No shit Stanton gets more attention.

      I mean, Tuffy Rhodes hit 3 homers on opening day once, too.

      1. MUST ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO NYC! MAYBE BOSTON.

        1. Chipwooder

          Again – reigning MVP on great team, random guy on bad team. Yes, the Yankees get preferential coverage, but in this case the dynamic I cited is a more likely explanation.

          1. #3 MEDIA MARKET IN US, PFFT. CAN’T AFFORD TO STOP NE WORSHIP FOR 30 SECOND BLURB.

            Story is “too local”.

            What if someone in KC throws a no-hitter? “Wait, Chris Sale had a good game, concentrate on that…screw that bumpkin no-hitter!!!”

  5. Pope Jimbo

    Local reporter is dumb and is now advocating laws to prevent her from being dumb again.

    The reporter had a bunch of her leg chopped off in a boating accident. “Surprised and shocked” to discover that the insurance policy that she bought only covered her husband as the owner of the boat. Now she is working with pols to demand that all boating insurance must also cover family.

    This is similar to that story about the teachers being “surprised and shocked” to discover that their grants had become loans because they didn’t know what they were signing or what they needed to do. This lady and her husband should be able to read an insurance policy shouldn’t they?

    I’m also sure that since boat insurance isn’t mandatory, people will be surprised when the number of uninsured boaters skyrockets when the price of premiums rises. But then, I guess that gives the pols a chance to pass another law to make it mandatory.

    I’m sure my father is going to love having to cover families when he buys his boat insurance.

    1. I thought boat accidents only destroyed arms, not legs.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Depends on what swim stroke you are using when hit by the boat. Luckily she wasn’t doing the breast stroke…

    2. The boat insurance doesn’t cover any legal operator of the boat, who has been given permission by the owner?

      That’s a pretty shitty policy they were dumb enough to sign.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        From the story, I think the rub is that she and the owner of the boat are family. The policy covers the owner only. Also non-related people are covered. That is why the policies are so cheap. Unlike car insurance you don’t have to cover the whole family.

        Of course you can buy coverage for your family but it is more expensive for you. What this gal wants is for her to get that coverage but have the costs spread out to everyone. Like myself or my father who almost never fish with family.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      “We were like: ‘WHAT?!’”

      Like, are you for, like, real?

      I’m tired of people making their own decisions and refusing to lie in their own beds with the consequences.

      Always looking to blame someone else.

    4. SugarFree

      “Well, this is not a boat accident! It wasn’t any propeller! It wasn’t any coral reef! And it wasn’t Jack the Ripper! It was a shark!” Hooper said, exasperated. In his distracted state, he began to chew on the severed arm himself until Brody slapped it away.

      1. OMWC has no idea what you mean.

      2. commodious spittoon

        It wasn’t a shark, it was Hooper!

        (Apologies if I got it here, but it’s been making me giggle for weeks.)

    5. AlexinCT

      This is a pet peeve of mine, especially considering the oft infuriating commercials like that one done by Liberty Mutual about people choosing the wrong kind of company instead of the wrong kind of policy regarding the full car replacement option. A company that pretends they are a better choice because they automatically make you pay a higher premium so you can have the full car replacement option (which has a ton of holes in it regarding minutia that make the money you get vary anyway), and acts smug about it, is idiotic. Seems this phenomenon is far more pervasive than I thought..

  6. Rebel Scum

    THIS is CNN.

    1. straffinrun

      They can’t go after his foreign policy after 8 years of Obama.

    2. leonadasiv

      I mean fuck John Bolton, but aren’t there other things we could make fun of him for? Like his commitment to failed foreign policies?

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Payback

    Multiple companies say they’re pulling their advertisements from conservative Fox News host Laura Ingraham’s show after she sent a tweet mocking Parkland shooting survivor and gun-control activist David Hogg.

    Nestle US, Hulu and Nutrish confirmed on Twitter that they are removing advertising from Ingraham’s show. Media reports say TripAdvisor, Expedia, Wayfair and Johnson & Johnson are pulling their support as well.

    The twittermobsters strike again. No one can survive their righteous indignation. She’s just lucky she’s not being stripped naked and whipped in the town square in meatspace.

    1. trshmnstr

      This is a very dangerous precedent that is quickly being cemented into place.

      1. WTF

        Yes, it establishes that the left cannot be criticized or mocked. Ingraham and Fox were stupid to apologize, as it just encourages more of this by admitting to being wrong. You would think they might have learned something from Trump.

        1. AlexinCT

          Ingraham and Fox were stupid to apologize,

          Seems like they missed the main lesson Trump thought everyone..

      2. I don’t know, I think in some ways it’s good. There are alternative media outlets (CRTV, Minds, etc.) that would be happy to give Laura Ingraham and anyone else with an audience a home where they can get paid through subscriptions or directly by viewers. The link between media and corporate advertising is too strong. I think breaking it and putting content providers and content consumers closer together will result in greater diversity. Right now there are too many gatekeepers that are more responsive to perceived trends and the loudest voices in the room, which tend to be PC; we need media to be more numerous and more specialized, not monolithic, so that the left-right blocs break down into smaller, more focused groups. I think in the long run that’s how you start to break up the Team duopoly.

        Or maybe I’m having a reaction to Sudafed. What do I know?

    2. As if she gives a shit. Somebody will pick up the slack and these advertisers will be back in a couple months. And Hogg will still be a whiny, scroungy, falsely-accusing-millions-of-supporting-murder piece of garbage.

      In fact, I’d almost be willing to bet that by the end of the summer, the media who are touting this fascist little fuckface will be doing everything they can to memory-hole their adoring coverage of him.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Prediction: he’ll be #metooed. The only question is male, female, or livestock.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          I predict a couch cushion.

          1. That’s it. I’m going home to listen to death metal and watch westerns. And I mean “Shane”, “High Noon”, and “Fort Apache”, dammit.

          2. I am going to go home and drink Miller High Life and smash the cans against my forehead.

        2. Brett L

          I’m guessing some Disney/Nickelodeon producer is going to “take him under the wing” and then turn him out.

          1. A pimp’s love is very different than that of a square.

          2. AlexinCT

            This ends up with someone having to win a wrestling contest after years as a porn star to become president..

  8. gbob

    Somebody wants to drive this movie into the water. I’m really surprised this is getting released.

    1. trshmnstr

      Its causing quite a splash!

      1. Michael

        Boooooo!

      2. A Leap at the Wheel

        They will be banging on the glass before the doors open.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          I’ll be holding my breath…

    2. Mr Lizard

      That was actually a pleasant stroll through the comment section. Tell the Derp Hunters to pass on that one

    3. Thank God Ed Helms is there to name-check Trump and make it all okay in moral relativity land.

    4. TK

      Allen referred to Kopechne as “one of the original #MeToo victims” and said it was her time to receive justice and the truth.

      It wasn’t Kennedy that killed her, it was men in general.

      1. WTF

        It was the Patriarchy, which we all know is right wing, so not really Kennedy’s fault at all.

        1. F. Stupidity Jr.

          Really, he was more of a victim than Kopechne – the extreme right wing basically forced him to drive drunk that night.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Colleagues say that four drivers have committed suicide in the past few months because of financial ruin.

      Well, unnamed colleagues made an unsupported claim (which is then not subjected to a basic stat check, either), then it’s run unquestioned. That’s journalism!

  9. Noodlez

    My cat’s breath smells like catfood or it would if I had a cat.

    1. My real estate agent’s breath smells like purposefully dessicated and preserve cat litter box snacks.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        My dogs love those snacks.

  10. Pope Jimbo

    We have way too much secrecy. I’d love to have pols start really pushing back on the idea that any official document can be filed away and never shown to the public.

    The latest case is the one where a judge ruled that FBI documents must be returned to the FBI in the Jacob Wetterling case. This will remove them from local officials who are being hassled under Minnesoda’s open records laws.

    The only reason this is being done is to hide how inept that entire investigation was. Listen to the In The Dark podcasts and you can figure out for yourself why they don’t want people to see this shit.

    1. AlexinCT

      Agents of the state covering for the fact that the state is fucking stupid…

      And the progs keep telling me the problem is with me for not trusting these top men and their quest for progtopia after you see shit like this..

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Twilight approaches.

    At a breakneck pace.

    Facing pressure, Ingraham wrote an apology on Thursday afternoon, saying: “On reflection, in the spirit of Holy Week, I apologize for any upset or hurt my tweet caused him or any of the brave victims of Parkland.” She invited Hogg to appear on her show.

    Hogg then wrote: “I will only accept your apology only if you denounce the way your network has treated my friends and I in this fight. It’s time to love thy neighbor, not mudsling at children.”

    Get a job, you whining little narcissist.

    1. trshmnstr

      It’s time to love thy neighbor, not mudsling at children

      Fuck you! Hard! With a rusty farm implement doused in flesh eating bacteria!

      1. WTF

        Love thy neighbor, you know, like calling them mass murderers with blood on their hands because they think the second amendment means something. What a smug, self-important, hypocritical little shitstain.

      2. B.P.

        Yup. courageous fighter for justice one second, child the next second. Clown nose on, clown nose off.

        1. AlexinCT

          Ain’t it awesome to be able to claim to be whatever the fuck it would take to then pretend to be the victim?

    2. Old Man With Candy

      That’s “my friends and me.” Spend a little more time in English class instead of attention-whoring.

      1. B.P.

        He might be able to get into college if he did so.

    3. kbolino

      You and your friends are not children. Some of you may be legal minors but not for much longer, and regardless of that, you have all chosen to enter the public discourse on matters of politics and law. Whether you like it or not, you are adult enough to voice your opinion on the national stage, so no one is obligated to treat you like a child any more.

    4. Chipwooder

      Christ, what an asshole.

    5. creech

      Even (((they))) did not apologize to the mob that broke (((their))) windows on cristallnacht.

    6. Breet Pharara

      Okay, I was trying to take the high road, but fuck that little cunt. Fuck him hard. Dehumanizing your opponents, accusing them of evil, justifying violence against them, and making open threats should they not obey you. He’s an actual Fascist in the making, and not in the “you know who else?” Godwin kind of way.

    7. leonadasiv

      “not mudsling at children.”

      Shut-up fuckface you are not a child. You want to be taken seriously, you give up the ‘I’m just a child’

  12. Rebel Scum

    Hilldawg is still talking

    Q: “I now find–it’s shocking I’m even about to ask this question–but, I do want you to talk about, what are your concerns about the stability of our democratic institutions and structures in these tumultuous moments? And what for you is the essence of American democracy?”

    A: “Well, I am fundamentally optimistic and hopeful, but I don’t think that optimism and hope is warranted unless we do what we’re supposed to do as citizens,” Clinton said. “And so, I worry about the degradation of institutions, the dismissing of norms and values–because remember, a democracy is fundamentally held together by trust.”

    Uh huh…

    Clinton also said she was worried “about whether our Constitution is going to be honored, whether we will see the rule of law protected, whether we will have the predictability and stability we need in the foreign affairs.”

    ROTFLOL

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      She’s the ultimate cunt.

      1. Who is the penultimate?

        1. Liawatha Warren.

      2. creech

        And spreading her legs is still worth $25,000 a pop.

    2. WTF

      Hey, she honors the constitution by trying to violate both the first and second amendments, and supports “democracy” by trying to overturn the results of a free and fair election.

      1. The 1st and 2nd? She was cheerleading when Obama had an American citizen assassinated with it being so much as charged with a crime.
        Furthermore, her campaign provided false info in order for a secret warrant to be issued against her political opponent.
        Her hatred for our constitution goes well beyond the 1st and 2nd.

        1. WTF

          Well, yeah, but with the “overturn Citizens United” and “If the second amendment is a constitutional right, it’s subject to ‘reasonable’ regulations” crap, I figured those were the most egregious. Of course you’re right, she thinks the entire bill of rights is entirely subject to whatever regulations she wants to impose.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            During the debates, she actually did say that ALL of the BoR is subject to “reasonable” regulation.

          2. AlexinCT

            It was part of that promise Barak Obama made about fundamentally changing America…

    3. Drake

      a democracy is fundamentally held together by trust

      Yes! A nobody has ever done more to destroy trust in government. How long will it take to root out the corrupt assholes you and Bill embedded in the federal government?

      1. We have to take off and nuke the site from orbit – it’s the only way to be sure.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Yellow taxi and black car drivers say they are literally dying trying to survive. Colleagues say that four drivers have committed suicide in the past few months because of financial ruin.

    That’s not possible. Guns are illegal in New York City.

    1. Brett L

      I assume they just reached for their waistbands in view of NYPD.

  14. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. I wish I knew who the PR firm managing the solar industry in Minnesoda was because they are good.

    Local media is awash in stories like this that tout the growing solar presence in Minnesoda, but never, ever mention if all these new jobs are subsidized and for how much. Or how much an hour of solar power costs compared to nukes or coal.

    This is also an industry that writes a press release and MPR or the local lefty paper simply reprint. No one ever questions the numbers.

    1. Mr Lizard

      Um do you mammals even have sunshine up there?

      1. It’s government-subsidized sunshine – they set up big banks of halogen lights over the solar panels.

      2. Brett L

        6 months a year!

        1. Pope Jimbo

          OoohRAH that global warming. When I was a kid it was only 5 months.

  15. Rufus the Monocled

    Who’s the Ombudspeople here?

    All those births and reports and no mention that Rusty Staub died? RIP Le Grand Orange!

    /hurls whiffle ball at head.

    1. gbob

      STEVE SMITH is the ombudsman around here. He has a private, sound proof office that you can go in person to complain.

    2. *wiffle ball bounces off head*

      *doesn’t notice*

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        My aim isn’t that good.

        Erratic left handed arm.

    3. Old Man With Candy

      He played in Canada, so who gives a fuck?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        That didn’t stop headlines saying he played for the….METS.

        He was pretty effective for them too.

      2. And New York, and Detroit and Houston and Arlington.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          So basically, he couldn’t get along with anybody.

    4. It’s baseball. Are we supposed to care?

  16. A Fuggin White Male

    Why did Laura Ingraham apologize? YOU NEVER FUCKING APOLOGIZE.

    1. trshmnstr

      This.

    2. WTF

      Yes, that was incredibly stupid, just admitting wrongdoing when you’ve actually done nothing wrong.

      1. AlexinCT

        SOP for the idiots of team red..

        They see how Trump has won precisely by refusing to let the left force him to apologize for calling their stupidity and evil shit out, and then go and apologize when the left does it to them..

        I suspect Ingram was told by Fox to do it, but still.. This was beyond idiotic.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Seriously.

      Very disappointed.

      Especially her.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        It seems like a ballbreaker like her would know the deal.

    4. kbolino

      Because she’s trying to be a decent person and forgot that she is surrounded by liars and knaves who destroy decent people with glee.

    5. Timeloose

      The only way to apologize to these people.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv8tVxk6Nj4

    6. Badolph Hilter

      “I’m sorry you’re such an entitled little bitch”

      1. AlexinCT

        I am sorry I told the truth about you..

        that is how she should have apologized..

      2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

        “I’m sorry you think you’re entitled to an apology. I say this because I can genuinely empathize with your position. I hope in the future you develop sufficient mental faculties to be able to extend that same empathy.”

  17. Pope Jimbo

    Reverse spring break? Florida Woman spotting in Minnesoda?

    This doesn’t sound like Minnesoda woman to me.

    A Lakeville woman is accused of leaving her two young children home alone for four hours while she ate chicken wings and got black-out drunk at a Green Mill Restaurant and Bar.

    1. straffinrun

      Lakeville police responding to a welfare call near Kenwood Trail around 12:30 a.m. Feb. 12 found Smith in the snow, drunk and unable to understand basic questions.

      Are you plowed?

    2. No kidding. Minnesoda Woman would have been eating tater tot hotdish.

    3. Juicy Lucy?

    4. Spartacus

      What’s she supposed to do? It’s still too cold to leave them in the car.

    5. Bobarian LMD

      This doesn’t sound like it should qualify as news in Minnesoda.

      Dog bites man.

  18. Private Chipperbot

    Blackhawks emergency goalie #1 star.

    In regard to Sloopy’s link. What a dream come true, and he posts a shutout. There isn’t a single beer league player who doesn’t at least once think about something like this happening. What a cool story.

    1. WTF

      Seven saves! That’s awesome.

      1. Well, Jesus was… preoccupied this time of year.

    2. Evan from Evansville

      That is such a fantastic story. God damn.

      My 2.5 seasons of hockey were very important. I didn’t know how to skate but my dad was forcing me to either pick up wrestling or hockey after I stopped baseball and gymnastics. First time I skated in gear on the ice was my tryout when I was 16. Just….absolutely brutal. Panic attacks before every practice and just a joke of a player and just got stomped. (My Canadian ex was shocked that we played full contact in HS.) I remember really hating my dad for making me.

      In the championship game against Memorial High School I was planted by the post, our best player Daniel Keeney behind the goal. He slid it to me and I one-timed it net for my first ever goal (against the back-up goalie….). We ended up winning 4-3. As soon as I scored I completely understood why my dad did it. It’s now one of my favorite, prideful moments that I look back on.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        A lot of guys who started playing late are some of the most earnest skaters around. What they lack in skill they make up for in enthusiasm. I dick around in my over 35 league, but some of the guys come back to the bench upset if they missed receiving a pass or if they couldn’t put one on my stick. I just ask them if they’re having fun and not to worry about it. There aren’t any scouts watching us.

        Although I do wear a full cage now. Played since I was five years old and was never cut. Beer league game and a pond rocket lost control of his stick and broke my nose, orbital, sinus, and skull. Wife says if I’m not getting paid to skate, I have to wear it…

    3. Brett L

      Holy shit, some of those were real deal shots he saved. And they gave him #1 star of the game. You don’t even dare to dream that.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        No shit. He played at Western Michigan, but that was 15 years ago. I bet he has a bitchin hangover this morning.

    4. TK

      Dude is an accountant for his day-job. That’s such a cool story.

    5. EvilSheldon

      The CFO at one of my biggest clients, is also a rec league hockey player. I’m gonna hear about this the minute I walk through the door…

  19. robc

    Reds are still undefeated!

    1. straffinrun

      Despite 70 million+ dead last century alone.

      1. robc

        Pete Rose might have been a gambling ass, but he wasn’t a serial killer.

        1. straffinrun

          Anybody that goes head first into first base is a hero of mine.

          1. Not me. Fuck Pete Rose. I had to drive by Jonathan’s Cafe in Franklin, OH most days on my way to school. And we all saw his Lamborghini with “4192” on the plates many mornings parked outside while he was in there gambling on games involving the team he was managing.

            He used to be a sports hero of mine. Now I just hope he gets told on his deathbed that he will never get into the Hall of Fame.*

            *And I hope he’s let in after he dies, because of his accomplishments. But I want his dying thought to be “Fuck! I’m never getting into Cooperstown”.

          2. F. Stupidity Jr.

            I always thought his dying words would be, “What was I thinking with that haircut?”

          3. Private Chipperbot

            The bowl they used should go into the HoF.

          4. Old Man With Candy

            That bowl was actually auctioned off and purchased by the owner of the Raiders.

          5. slumbrew

            That bowl was actually auctioned off and purchased by the owner of the Raiders.

            It’s a few years old now, but the ESPN story on Mark Davis is pretty great – interesting dude (e.g., he’s fully aware his haircut is insane but he keeps it for… reasons?)

  20. The Late P Brooks

    The online furniture seller Wayfair said in a statement to the Times: “The decision of an adult to personally criticize a high school student who has lost his classmates in an unspeakable tragedy is not consistent with our values.”

    Wait, what? I’m pretty sure we’re talking about the toxic little douchebag who called a broad swath of Americans “murderers” because they won’t just do what he wants.

    1. WTF

      He is saintly and beyond any criticism, according to Wayfair at least.

      1. trshmnstr

        This is exactly the reaction the progs were hoping for when they recruited this imp.

        Fuck him, he is the worst of the worst and every time he uses his victimhood by proxy status to agitate, he spits on the grave of his classmates.

        1. straffinrun

          Seriously. As much as people shouldn’t have taken the bait, it’s hard to believe that they chose him because he’d be bringing anyone together. Slimy, but the gun grabbers may have out played people on this one.

          1. Festus

            It’s religious zeal at this point. They won’t be satisfied until someone is nailed to a Cross.

          2. Mr Lizard

            Ya look for some yuge march NICS numbers. Me and Hasidic FloridaMan have been observing yuge numbers of deals.

          3. trshmnstr

            I really wish I had the cash to get a decent ar-10 right now.

          4. Mr Lizard

            I have had bad experiences with the AR-10 platform. The key to success is having the correct buffer spring and an adjustable gas block. If not done correctly they stove pipe all the time.

            However piston based rifles with adjustable gas blocks are much more reliable. The ruger sr762 is a good choice or any used sig 716

          5. EvilSheldon

            The last piston-based AR-10 I saw, cracked the piston in half in under 500 rounds. Unless you have the cash for an HK417, I’d stay well away.

    2. I don’t have a problem with their statement. They said what she did is not consistent with their values. Obviously their values align with some punk-ass kid who collectivized the crimes of some psycho with the millions of law-abiding Americans who happen to support the org who conducts more firearm safety classes than anybody else in America.

      So their values are shit. And they just announced that fact to all of their potential customers. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.

      1. Festus

        You want blow-back, son? This is how we do blow-back! *fires off bazooka in mincer’s face*

      2. Badolph Hilter

        Seriously. Do these companies not have fucking PR advisers? How fucking hard is it to just say “we’re not in the business of political drama, we’re here to sell high-quality home goods at reasonable prices, check your email for this weekend’s amazing deals!”

        1. invisible finger

          It’s Wayfair. The stuff is garbage, not high-quality.

          1. Badolph Hilter

            You must be part of the team advising them to go ahead and piss off half the country with political posturing.

            “And while we’re at it, our stuff is CRAP! Stop calling it high quality!”

            *guys in suits look around the table and nod at each other*

          2. Number.6

            Let’s be honest about their business. They buy shit you could buy from Alibaba, mark it up a bit, and conveniently provide a mechanism for returning it to them for your money back if you don’t like what they sold you.

            It’s a service some people value, and it’s scalable all the way from Shamwows to Faberge eggs and chemical weapons.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Former Vice President Joe Biden called Justice Neil Gorsuch’s confirmation to the U.S. Supreme Court the most dangerous accomplishment of the Trump presidency, Wednesday.

    Speaking for over an hour on Pod Save America, Biden acknowledged his appointment did not change the ideological distribution of power on the high court, but lamented that Gorsuch’s confirmation entrenched originalist views on the high court for decades.

    “The single most damaging thing thus far, short of what may happen to our foreign policy, was Gorsuch going to the court,” the former vice president said.

    Well, that’s a matter of perspective, Joe. You see, “originalist” is the only legitimate view to have of the text of the document that created the federal government. Otherwise it’s words are meaningless and there is no defined, limited government. But you know this and you see it as an impediment to defacto making the government limitless simply by “re-interpreting” its limits.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Forgot the foreign policy comment: As to that, yea, screwing up a bit less than normal is somehow a bad thing.

    2. TK

      Funny, because I see Trump’s control over SC appointments as the most positive thing about his presidency – in fact, I think this may be the only thing that will protect our constitutional republic from becoming a mob-run mad house for the next few decades.

      1. AlexinCT

        You mean to tell me you don’t think we were already there?

        1. TK

          Not quite. The SC is the last institution standing in the way.

    3. B.P.

      Yeah, it’s a shame when a judge at least somewhat follows the established rules, instead of just making shit up out of whole cloth.

  22. Festus

    Y’know? I’m only fifty-three but everyday that Hillary Clinton remains alive seems like an insult to the truly aged people on this planet.

    1. straffinrun

      When it happens, will she get a state funeral?

      1. WTF

        Depends who has control of the government when it happens.

      2. egould310

        A tomb and monument at Arlington National cemetery.

        1. Nah. An unmarked grave out back of the Siberian prison she’s been held captive in since Emperor Trump handed her over to his blood brother Putin in exchange for building permits for a pair of Moscow hotels.
          -leftist conspiracy theorist and/or Adam Schiff

          1. Festus

            Anderson Cooper nods his plasticine head in silent agreement. Half of the country lets out a giant cunt-fart, rolls over and finally lets the rest of us get some fucking sleep.

          2. TK

            I think that might be too good for her, though.

          3. Spartacus

            I want it marked. So I know where to go when I need to piss.

          4. Zunalter

            -leftist conspiracy theorist and/or Adam Schiff

    2. Mr Lizard

      I look dropping a giant reptilian shit on her grave. Although my bosses are considering skin-suiting her for another 10 years of lulz

      1. straffinrun

        You’re saying that’s a skin suit she’s wearing now? You guys need to do better lab work.

      2. WTF

        You mean, she’s not already skin-suited?

        1. Mr Lizard

          Absolutely not, are you kidding me? Reptilian Overlords typically hold their liquor, even when wearing such an abominable incursion suit.

          The idea is to run her as a re-energized candidate for two more election cycles…mainly for the lulz.

          1. WTF

            You really are monsters.

          2. Mr Lizard

            I know right, although we were nice enough to keep Billy Idol on tour

          3. Bobarian LMD

            The problem is the mole people beat you guys to it.

            Their shitty skin suit tech and the fact that it takes multiple moles to run a Hillary is why the current version looks so bad.

    3. Festus

      Another good choice, Sloop! Every Queen album always had two or three good ‘uns (except for that one abomination). I’m partial to the early stuff when they were a rock band.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    They only care about the children, you know

    Fayette County District spokeswoman Lisa Deffendall said on Thursday night, more than 1,200 school employees reported they would be absent

    The news came after the state legislature passed a surprise pension-reform bill in Frankfort. At least 14 districts said they were closing because of teacher absences. About another eight closed Friday morning without explanation.

    “More than a third of our school employees have reported that they will not be at school tomorrow, which leaves our district without enough substitutes to cover all of the absences,” said Deffendall.

    Those children are learning a valuable lesson, I hope.

    1. WTF

      The teacher’s union will start worrying about the children when the children start paying union dues.

      1. AlexinCT

        Not even then, bro..

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Fire them for job abandonment.

    3. Rebel Scum

      This kind of crap makes my blood boil. You are a public employee in a monopolized profession. You are subject to the will of the voters and you have a duty to do your damned job. How many parents, the people that fare held at gunpoint to fund sorry excuses for schools, had to take off to watch their kids while the teachers have a temper tantrum over a change to theirs bennies (Which I’m sure are way better than the comparable private sector job)? They should all be fired, with prejudice.

  24. Rebel Scum

    I don’t know the numbers. All I know is this is the kind of ratcheting up of tensions the peace-loving left

    They are well on their way to getting the major war they want with Russia.

    1. WTF

      The Russians are not going to war with the US, they would get crushed in a conventional war, and no one is going to go nuclear.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Except Russians fight to win and wouldn’t have to deal with a left-wing media reporting on every single bad thing the U.S. would do. It’s ironic. They agitate for war and then look to lose the war.

        Americans get all caught up in public opinion. I doubt Russia would.

        And that’s the difference.

        Go full Roman or go home.

        1. Festus

          “Howdy, Stranger, Gladius to know Ya!”

        2. WTF

          Mattis and Trump would fight to win. The Russian Navy and Air Force would shortly cease to exist, leaving the Russian army at the mercy of air dominance. Combine that with professional forces against poorly motivated conscripts, and it would be ugly for Russia really fast. And they know this. Putin will push as far as he can get away with, without crossing the line.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            Not the media. That’s the problem.

      2. Mr Lizard

        “and no one is going to go nuclear.”

        Amateurs

        1. Rebel Scum

          Well, I’ve seen Godzilla. So I know how nukes would work out for you.

        2. I thought you all stuck with kinetic, orbital stuff – you know, Rod From God type weapons?

          1. Mr Lizard

            Well ya, but during a ground offensive or even low level trade negotiations we toss small nukes like your Starship Troopers

            Large kinetic bombardment rounds are for the true adults in the galaxy.

      3. Rebel Scum

        they would get crushed in a conventional war

        This is likely true. I know of someone who is in the “biz” that is military contracting. He claims that if our capabilities are the baseline at 100, the next is Russia and they are at 2.

        1. WTF

          And know that the Russians are aware of this, they are neither stupid nor suicidal.

          1. Where and how would we end up fighting? I don’t think they are going to try and run over Europe, or invade Alaska. The whole drum banging thing is ludicrous.

          2. If their goal is to delegitimize and destabilize Western democracy, I’d say they’re doing a pretty bang-up job.

            And the Left are their front-line infantry.

          3. WTF

            Yeah, that too.

          4. kbolino

            Suggested Retail Price: $79.98

            WTF? Is that in Pesos?

    2. Unpossible. CNN tells me about 4,000 times a day that Trump and Putin might as well be lovers.

      This is clearly 46.7 dimension supra-temporal chess meant to throw us off track.

    3. invisible finger

      I don’t even have a rooting interest this time.

  25. straffinrun

    U.N. warns against executing Aum cult members seeking retrial

    The U.N. Human Rights Office has called into question Japan’s possible execution of Aum Shinrikyo cult members on death row who are seeking a retrial.

    “We do note that some of the defendants in this case are reportedly requesting a retrial,” Ravina Shamdasani, spokeswoman for the office, said in a written interview with Kyodo News.

    1. Weren’t these the Subway Sarin gas guys?

      1. straffinrun

        Yes. Over 20 fucking years ago.

  26. A Fuggin White Male

    That redpill is starting to take effect. Surprised the Dailymail even printed this.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5555959/Why-raising-sons-question-female-empowerment-doing-boys.html

    1. straffinrun

      Fin enjoys them because they’re great stories about people who change things, and is too young yet to notice that these books are all about women.

      Good for her that she realized she was being a cunt, but she’s gonna have some explaining to do when the kid finds out she tried to brainwash him.

    2. “While we’re all happy to talk about our desire for ‘strong women’ in society these days, I’m ashamed to admit that I somehow feel disconcerted to hear someone discuss a ‘strong man’.”

      “If you think strong men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men are capable of.”
      – Jordan Peterson

    3. A Leap at the Wheel

      “Fin enjoys them because they’re great stories about people who change things, and is too young yet to notice that these books are all about women.”

      No, you son sees stories about people. He connects with them because he is a people too. He doesn’t dehumanize large swaths of the population based on ideology. Yet. But keep trying to parent based on ideology, and you might get him there before too long.

    4. TK

      Even in these articles about “omg, I’m starting to see the light” feminism pieces, they always drop stupid shit in like this:

      That changed when I started working as a lawyer for a technology firm, where I was often the only woman in the room. I was frequently talked over, and in one tax structuring meeting, was asked to fetch the sugar (yes, really).

      It only made me work harder, and I became deputy CEO, next to the male founder.

      I couldn’t help but laugh at that – when you’re the new kid out of college and in the office, you’re basically useless. They have to train you (and if you’re not getting training, you should quit), but sometimes you get asked to go grab something for the senior people on the team. Its part of the process. Later, when you’re a VP or SVP, you get to ask the newly graduated interns/entry level people to do menial shit for you. There’s no evidence that this had anything to do with gender.

      As far as being talked over- a woman literally did this to me yesterday. Rude people do this to each other. It happens. Again, not about gender.

      My evidence? You literally became deputy CEO. You said that right after you complained about the fact that you had to do shit you didn’t want to do to climb the ladder, just like every man ever.

      1. Rhywun

        Maybe the fact that every company in the country bends over backwards to fill vacancies with women over men regardless of talent just might have some relevance, sweetie.

    5. B.P.

      Hey lady, toxic ideology aside, this kid is going to rebel like hell in a few years simply because you go out in public dressed like a circus clown.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Winning

    State and local health officials issued a warning Thursday about a new symptom of synthetic pot —excessive bleeding from the eyes and ears.

    The Illinois Department of Public Health reported 22 people in the past few weeks visited emergency rooms with severe bleeding after using a synthetic cannabinoid product.

    Most of those affected were in the Chicago area, but health officials warned the contaminated products could also be present elsewhere across the state, said department spokeswoman Melaney Arnold.

    Though synthetic pot has long been considered dangerous, severe bleeding is not a known side effect, said Dr. Melissa Millewich, an emergency room physician at Advocate Good Samaritan Hospital in Downers Grove.

    “This bleeding is not expected, at least in such a significant population so quickly,” she said.

    Despite a statewide ban, Arnold said manufacturers could be slightly tweaking the molecular makeup of the products as a way to “get around” the law, allowing for them to be sold legally. They are also sold on the street, she said, and those experiencing the bleeding said they obtained the products in convenience stores and from dealers and friends.

    ————-

    “People don’t realize how dangerous this is,” she said.

    The man-made substance is a mixture of hundreds of chemicals, often called cannabinoids because they affect the same brain cell receptors as the main ingredient in marijuana. Cannabinoids are sometimes sprayed on plant material for smoking, or are sold as liquids to be vaporized and inhaled in e-cigarettes and other devices, the health department’s warning said. The products are also sometimes referred to as herbal or liquid incense.

    Just as long as we can prevent people from smoking marijuana, a few cases of unexplained cranial bleeding must be considered acceptable.

    1. excessive bleeding from the eyes and ears

      I may be strange, but isn’t any bleeding from the eyes and ears an issue.

      1. Festus

        This fellow begs to differ – https://youtu.be/hE_fZNZjJcQ

    2. “Professor John W. Huffman, who first synthesised many of the cannabinoids used in synthetic cannabis mimics, is quoted as saying, ‘People who use it are idiots. You don’t know what it’s going to do to you.’”

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthetic_cannabinoids#Adverse_effects

    3. commodious spittoon

      Despite a statewide ban, Arnold said manufacturers could be slightly tweaking the molecular makeup of the products as a way to “get around” the law, allowing for them to be sold legally.

      Right, because vice cops are well known for their nuance when assessing the molecular makeup of products being sold in much the same packaging as the banned stuff. They never misidentify tomato plants as pot plants to justify terrorizing families with outdoor gardens.

  28. Juvenile Bluster

    Hey, this is surprising!

    Wait, no it’s not.

    OKLAHOMA CITY (CBS News) — An Oklahoma prosecutor announced Friday he will not file criminal charges against a police officer in the September shooting death of a deaf man who was not following officer commands.

    Oklahoma County District Attorney David Prater said his investigation determined the Sept. 19 shooting death of 35-year-old Magdiel Sanchez outside his south Oklahoma City home was justified.

    Police have said officers who responded to a hit-and-run crash encountered Sanchez holding a metal pipe. An autopsy report shows Sanchez was hit with a stun gun and shot five times in the chest, pelvis and upper arm.

    A neighbor told CBS News correspondent Omar Villafranca in September that he and other neighbors were yelling at the officers, telling them that Sanchez was deaf and could not understand them. Julio Rayos also claimed Sanchez used what he called a “stick” as a means of communication, not as a weapon.

    tl;dr:

    Deaf man not following police commands because he can’t hear them –> Ok to shoot
    Cops willfully deaf in ignoring people telling them that man was deaf and couldn’t hear them –> LOL they still get to shoot the deaf guy

    1. Bob Boberson

      Hey, he was holding a pipe, they feared for their lives. His deadly weapon was totally proportional to multiple dudes armed with Tasers, OC spray, batons and firearms.

      The cops get away with shit that soldiers under LOAC don’t (and shouldn’t) get away with.

    2. straffinrun

      Holding a pipe? This is why cops don’t play Clue. Every character winds up shot.

      1. WTF

        Did they get home safely after their shift? That’s really all that matters.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        Deputy Fife.
        In the back of the head.
        With the revolver.

    3. B.P.

      What’s the point of using a stun gun if you’re just going to empty your service weapon into a person anyway?

      1. Prevents them from becoming a moving target. those are harder to hit.

  29. Women using their anatomy to control your mind.

    http://archive.is/MNWeK

    3, 5, 12, 14, 22, 27, 30, 33, 35, 39, 45, 59.

    1. Mr Lizard

      I can appreciate the moves of #43

  30. Now’s your chance Bibi! Steamroll them into Egypt and annex Gaza!

    https://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-5210347,00.html

    1. Festus

      “You can’t scare me!” he cried from the back of the crowd.

    2. straffinrun

      An IDF force caught a seven-year-old Palestinian girl attempting to cross the border fence, and returned her back to her parents in Gaza.
      The IDF said that the girl was encouraged to attempt to cross by Hamas, which “endangers women and children and uses them cynically.”

      Sounds familiar. Leave the kids out of it you immoral assholes.

    1. Festus

      True story. After hearing warnings about bears around the garbage bins I took the bags out. A fucking rabbit shot out from behind the main bin. I squeaked like a mouse.

      1. I was about 3 feet from smashing into a huge deer this morning. #$%&ing hoofed rats.

        1. Lachowsky

          I have damaged two vehicles in the past 5 years due to deer collisions.

          Deer are elusive critters in the wild, not so much on the highway.

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LKa0sgImaLs

          1. Nephilium

            Or the bike trail… or my lawn… or the nearby parks…

          2. TK

            They were a huge problem on the campus where I work. We hired a hunting firm to kill them over several weekends. We weren’t allowed to come in on those weekends because a bunch of dudes with crossbows were milling about.

          3. AlexinCT

            Your state needs to allow them to cull more of that herd, or you have people that have been feeding them and have made them dangerous to humans traveling in vehicles.

    1. commodious spittoon

      May the walls on his compound be tall and brimming with broken glass.

    2. B.P.

      Sez Ramos: “…when there is a humanitarian crisis, that prevails, it seems to me, over the right of a country to protect its borders and not allow anyone in. I believe we are obliged to help the most vulnerable.”

      I think he just came out and said that various sovereign countries in Central America are an endless, rolling humanitarian crisis.

      1. OK. I’ll believe that when he starts advocating Mexico start taking in the zillions of Central American immigrants that they routinely jail and deport at their southern border.

      2. R C Dean

        that prevails, it seems to me, over the right of a country to protect its borders

        Seems like that would need to start at the borders closest to the humanitarian crisis. I think that means Colombia, Brazil, etc. needs to open their borders to Venezuela, which is currently hosting the biggest humanitarian crisis in the region. By extension, I suppose Mexico also needs to open its southern border, too, before you work your way up to the US southern border. If a country is, itself, in a humanitarian crisis, does that meant that its right to close its border overrides the requirement that it open its borders to people from countries in a humanitarian crisis?

        I don’t think he’s really thought this through.

  31. Lachowsky

    I just got home from work.

    Things are looking good. Spring is here. The grass is green. This is the best time of year, and my pasture looks better than it has in years.

    1. straffinrun

      Unpossible. It’s still dark outside.

      /flat earther.

    2. Brett L

      Pretty

    3. You live in an Empty field?

      1. Lachowsky

        sometimes I wish UCS. Unfortunantly, a hundred or so yard from where I took that picture I have an actual house that I have to maintain.

    4. Bob Boberson

      We’re a week or so behind you but it’s starting here too. The flowering trees are in bloom and all the others have heavy buds that will burst into leaves one of these sunny afternoons. The grass is just starting to green up. Spring days remind me that there is more to life than politics which is a really good thing.

      1. Lachowsky

        That’s the right attitude bob. My trees started to bloom last week, then we had some storms a few das ago. My back yard is covered in the blooms from my bradford pear tree that blew off in the storm. It’s almost like snow.

    5. Spring is still a bit far off here; just had a bunch of snow in the past week.

      The winter has been so dry though that I welcome it.

      1. Lachowsky

        We had the coldest winter in a decade here. It stayed unusually cold for all of January and february, yet during all the time it was below freezing, we got zero snow. It was pretty disappointing.

        I have the hood off a 80’s model chevy that I have been wanting to drag behind my OHV with my boy on it for 2 years. Two winters in a row now, my plan has been thwarted.

    6. Festus

      Ugh. We just got a foot of wet, sticky stuff (minds out of the gutter, people…) This winter has been relentless. I want it to be over and I want my 15 pounds back. Harrumph.

      1. Lachowsky

        There are places with more reasonable climates. Cheaper real estate too…

      2. I want my 15 pounds back

        Did you loan Number 6 some money?

        1. Festus

          Har-D-Har. I’m a middle-aged man that lost 15 fucking pounds because this winter won’t let go. I don’t take sick days, I don’t take vacations and I don’t fuck around.

        2. Number.6

          Har Har! Joke would be on him!

          I spent it all on tube socks and Nivea!

      3. commodious spittoon

        (minds out of the gutter, people…)

        What’s dirty about paste? Them’s good eats.

    1. straffinrun

      I stop scrolling once I reached his nipples. Tell me I didn’t miss anything.

    2. I’ve kept my amateur status so I can masturbate in the Olympics.

      1. Festus

        I read that originally as masturbate TO the Olympics and I was kinda ? and then it dawned on me and then I laughed and tried not to think about beach volleyball.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      ‘He says he’s extremely good at masturbating. He can do it extremely quickly,’

      Practice makes perfect I guess.

      1. Lachowsky

        When you’re only concern is pleasuring yourself, endurance is not a virtue.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Sometimes you’ve got to stop and smell the soiled panties you ordered off the internet.

  32. Rebel Scum

    a Pasadena, TX police officer shot somebody yesterday. But don’t expect it to make the news.

    Yea white cop shoots white guy. But the guy pulled a gun for some reason. I kinda would like to know what motivated him. It seems like an odd and unlikely scenario.

    1. Suicide by cop.

  33. AlexinCT

    The US bought Russia for $7,200,000

    You means the US bought Alaska for that amount from Russia in 1867, right? Not the entire country of Russia…

    1. We just got the best part of Russia.

      1. Alaska still has a shortage of women, so we did not.

        1. That’s why I’m taking mine up there with me.

    2. TK

      Those Russian bots were American bots all along, we’ve foiled our own election!

  34. TK

    Utah becomes first state to pass ‘free-range parenting’ law

    Utah has become the first state to legalize “free-range parenting,” codifying that kids can participate in unsupervised activities without their parents facing neglect charges.

    The new law prevents parents from being considered negligent by state authorities for letting their child walk outside alone, play without supervision or wait alone in a car.
    State Sen. Lincoln Fillmore (R), a sponsor on the bill, said society has become “too hyper” about protecting children and ends up sheltering them from opportunities.

    “Kids need to wonder about the world, explore and play in it, and by doing so learn the skills of self-reliance and problem-solving they’ll need as adults,” Fillmore said.

    Legalized? Christ – I’d maybe say “enshrined God-given parental rights in law” before I used the word “legalized.” But I guess that’s just the state we live in today.

    *EDIT FAIRY BLESSES YOU*

    1. TK

      End tag fail 🙁

    2. The Elite Elite

      But, if the children are all unsupervised, how are they going to be protected from OMWC?

    3. I never would’ve guessed that by age 40 I’ll be looking for ways to move to Utah. The more I hear about that state, the more I like it.

    4. TK

      Thank you, ye fairy goddess of the edits

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        *leers at picture for far too long*

        TK, thank you for messing up.

        1. TK

          Yeah, it um… quite a nice drawing.

  35. States who have legalized pot want to sit down with Jeff Sessions and come to an agreement on what the feds are planning to do. The WH lifted a rule that kept the Feds from enforcing federal law in states that had legalized the drug.

    And just how proactive have their Federal Congress Critters been in pushing forward legislation to legalize cannabis? Yeah.

    1. Lachowsky

      Congress is broke dude. Congress couldn’t pass a marijuana law if every congressional representative wanted to.

      1. invisible finger

        Congress don’t need money to pass laws. And Congress don’t enforce.

    2. Spartacus

      What they need to do is call out the militia at the next DEA raid, and arrest them on state charges. That would send a message much more quickly.

      1. Nephilium

        I was told a tale years ago by someone who went to college in Cincinnati. Him and a friend went across the bridge into Kentucky in order to purchase some Everclear for a party (Ohio limits liquor to 151 proof). On the way back over the bridge, they were followed by some Kentucky police. As they crossed the bridge, they were stopped by some Ohio police who then searched the car while the Kentucky police hung back. The Ohio police found the Everclear, and told the two college youths that they were going to be arrested for bootlegging. There was one issue here… the Ohio police were doing this on the Kentucky side of the bridge. The Kentucky police saw the Ohio police get ready to start cuffing the kids, hit their lights and rolled up. The Kentucky cops told the youths to get out of there, and if the Ohio cops tried to detain them would be arrested. The Ohio cops told the youths that if they left they’d be arrested. Eventually, the youths left with their Everclear and made it back to the college safely, with a story to tell.

        My understanding is that there had long been a territorial pissing match going on regarding the bridge and jurisdiction, and these two just happened to be there when it almost came down to a cop fight. I have no idea how true the story is, or if all of the actions were relayed to me correctly.

        1. B.P.

          Years ago when I lived in Indianapolis, a large cadre of Indy PD officers went tearing down I-64 at over a hundred miles an hour for fun. They were pulled over by IN State Patrol. There was a guns-drawn standoff right on the interstate. Also, on the IN-KY border at Louisville, KY owns most of the river. There was a riverboat casino place built on the IN side, but they didn’t have enough room to turn the boat around.

      2. And when the 82nd Airborne accompanies the next raid? Or the DoD federalizes the State’s National Guard?

        1. Jarflax

          Sounds like a scenario for some manuring of the tree of liberty

        2. WTF

          Posse Comitatus Act says no.

    3. The Last American Hero

      If I set up the meeting, I’d make sure the pastries were lightly infused. Then claim that Sessions is a druggie. Keep pounding the drum until he takes a test.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    The U.N. Human Rights Office has called into question Japan’s possible execution of Aum Shinrikyo cult members on death row who are seeking a retrial.

    For some reason, I thought Emperor MacArthur banned the death penalty.

    1. He was never Emperor, he was the Gaijin Shogun.

      1. Lachowsky

        Shogun may be my favorite book.
        That’s the only reason I know what gaijin means.

        1. straffinrun

          Shame on me, but I’ve never read it.

          1. commodious spittoon

            It’s only a matter of time before the old greats like Clavell get tossed on the PC bonfire. He’s unapologetic about English imperialism, gives contemporaries a suitable attitude about the locals, and writes believably flawed and self-dealing Chinese and Japanese characters.

          2. Lachowsky

            It’s highly entertaining. It’s one of the few 800+ page novels that I have read multiple times.

    2. Raven Nation

      “Emperor MacArthur”

      “MacArthur, who often confused the roles of Supreme Commander and Supreme Being…”

      John Dowd, “Embracing Defeat”

  37. gbob

    “Nothing will change if we keep consuming problematic pop culture without demanding anything better.”

    Christ, imagine if people on the right had as much problem consuming culture from people they disagreed with as the left does. There would be a bunch of hollywood mansions up for sale.

    In my book “Bad Feminist,” published in 2014, I wrote about giving myself permission to be flawed but feminist. I wrote about how sometimes I consume problematic pop culture, knowing I shouldn’t, knowing how harmful that pop culture can be. I still believe there is room for that, for having principles and enjoying things that challenge those principles. But in the ensuing years, I’ve also been thinking about accountability and the repercussions of our choices. I’ve been thinking about how nothing will change if we keep consuming problematic pop culture without demanding anything better.

    They voted for a president who doesn’t think the black life of their granddaughter matters. They act as if love can protect the most vulnerable members of their family from the repercussions of their political choices. It cannot.

    This fictional family, and the show’s very real creator, are further normalizing Trump and his warped, harmful political ideologies. There are times when we can consume problematic pop culture, but this is not one of those times. I saw the first two episodes of the “Roseanne” reboot, but that’s all I am going to watch.

    What an asshole.

    1. “They voted for a president who doesn’t think the black life of their granddaughter matters”

      Oh get over yourself.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s an outright lie.

        I don’t care for Trump, but this is patently untrue.

        1. WTF

          Yeah, citation fucking needed on that one.

        2. commodious spittoon

          Projection, always projection. And Trump is, like the last guy, a great big white canvas for projecting upon. Unlike the last guy, there’s no master plan cleverly occulted behind it. But leftists will continue projecting their own race-conscious insecurities on him as if he cares or thinks very much about it.

    2. commodious spittoon

      I wrote about giving myself permission to be flawed but feminist.

      Check out the big lobes on this gal, figuring out what Christians have preached for two millennia.

    3. The Elite Elite

      How dare there be a TV show that shows a pro-Trump family in anything other than an evil light!

    4. Breet Pharara

      How many shows are “pro-trump”? How many constantly shit on him for every single thing, including dumb things that don’t matter? But sure, the one show that isn’t explicitly anti-Trump is a problem that will destroy society.

      1. Rebel Scum

        It doesn’t seem particularly one-sided to me either way, which is a good thing. But, as you say, any deviation from the “All things Trump are bad” narrative will not be tolerated by leftists.

    5. The Last American Hero

      She voted for Thomas Jefferson? How old is this chick?

  38. commodious spittoon

    Hillary Clinton is finding out, as she gave a speech yesterday at Rutgers, who needs to be removed from the Big Ten for sucking so bad by the way

    I was told there would be no sports.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      It was Rutgers. The no sports ban is still in effect.

      1. WTF

        Hey, the football team was pretty good when Schiano was the coach.

      2. C. Anacreon

        The Big Ten needs a school that can be beat. It helps the other schools to have records good enough to get into bowls!

        1. The Last American Hero

          So they’re the Vanderbilt of the Big Ten?

          Oh wait, they don’t run around changing “Big 10 Big 10 Big 10” when Ohio State goes to another playoff.

  39. commodious spittoon

    All I know is this is the kind of ratcheting up of tensions the peace-loving left have been bitching for ever since Trump was duly elected installed by his puppet-masters in the Kremlin.

    Wheels within wheels, but they’re really stupid wheels, like the kind a stupid kid draws on his stupid bus.

    I have to imagine politicos across the world take a certain pleasure in shafting foreign diplomats, and seeing their own diplomats shafted in return. It seems like a really obnoxious class of bureaucrats whose allegiances are more questionable than holdovers from the last administration.

  40. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Freaky Friday: Say What Now? Edition

    It really bothers me that the gun debate in the U.S. has become what it is.

    Liberals are reactionaries who see guns killing people and wonder why guns aren’t banned…rather than, I don’t know, figuring out why an entire generation of children is plagued by such severe disenfranchisement with our system that they join up with right-wing paramilitary groups before they’re 18.

    Libertarians want to have guns because they like guns, but also to defend themselves from the government…but they don’t realize the government is abusing them and millions upon millions of other people. So they blame liberals for trying to take their guns away instead of confronting the problem.

    Leftists understand that the second amendment is literally the only suggested defense in the Constitution against a government as corrupt as it is presently, and we know our enemy, but we don’t have the numbers alone to enact significant change.

    Meanwhile, the fascists own the market for firearms, as well as the military industrial complex. They also own the majority of communications. So they bombard all of these people with sales pitches and GoArmy commercials, while keeping the most significant weapons (Marx’s “cannons”) stashed away for personal use.

    Seems the challenge is channeling liberal and libertarian frustration…although that would likely require more control over the country’s communications.

    1. Lachowsky

      “but they don’t realize the government is abusing them and millions upon millions of other people. ”

      Um, yeah they do. That’s kind of a central tenant of libertarianism.

      1. SugarFree

        If they were smart, they wouldn’t be Marxists.

        1. AlexinCT

          ^^^^SO MUCH THIS^^^^

          Academia has told a whole slew of idiots that spouting and believing marxist bullshit makes them smart. It does exactly the opposite, as it proves they lack basic knowledge of math (economics of supply & demand as well as the reality of limited resources), science (basic laws of nature and human nature), and the ability to use logic & reason instead of emotional drivel motivated by envy of what others have.

      2. Breet Pharara

        It’s the old, “if you don’t agree with my solution, then you don’t care about the problem” line of thinking. You see, since Libertarians don’t want to give the government unlimited power to stop the government from abusing its citizens, they must not care about the government abusing its citizens.

        My head hurts.

    2. “Libertarians want to have guns because they like guns, but also to defend themselves from the government”

      Probably the only accurate thing ever said on that sub-reddit.

    3. Rhywun

      I can’t figure out what any of that word salad is supposed to mean.

      *checks URL*

      Oh, that explains it.

    4. Rebel Scum

      There’s so much to unpack there that idk where to start.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    In my book “Bad Feminist,” published in 2014, I wrote about giving myself permission to be flawed but feminist.

    Let me guess. You absolved yourself from any need or responsibility to behave toward other people as you demand they behave toward you.

    The ol’ “Do as I say, not as I do” clause.

    1. Spartacus

      I’m not familiar with that book, because several years earlier I gave myself permission to not read stupid shit.

  42. SugarFree

    After a huge rating slip following the Parkland school shooting, #MeToo strikes back with the new miniseries filled with 90s nostalgia.

    The Disturbing Secret Behind An Iconic Cartoon

    Robyn Byrd and Katie Rice were teenage Ren & Stimpy fans who wanted to make cartoons. They say they were preyed upon by the creator of the show, John Kricfalusi, who admitted to having had a 16-year-old girlfriend when approached by BuzzFeed News.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Posted that in yesterday’s afternoon links.

      This is the most unsurprising revelation of the entire #metoo movement.

      1. SugarFree

        Ah. Darn. I was on drug-fueled vision quest yesterday afternoon and missed it.

        1. straffinrun

          Man, that’s when you should be posting.

        2. commodious spittoon

          Chugging Nyquil while watching Ren & Stimpy?

          1. SugarFree

            “You touched my iCE CREEEEEEEM BAR!”

    2. Where the fuck were the parents?
      Where were the coworkers?
      Where was the outrage when reporting on it might mean risking one’s career?

      Bunch of amoral cunts who lacked the courage to take a stand when it wasn’t as easy as merely jumping on a dogpile.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Say it ain’t so!

    4. “They say they were preyed upon by the creator”

      Could be true, but that’s their side of the story.

    5. commodious spittoon

      GLoP podcast featured a long conversation about children in Hollywood and the accusations against that Nickelodeon guy. if you like ’em young are interested in that sort of thing.

  43. Rebel Scum

    Democrats remain the masters of courting the “uneducated” masses

    “There’s a perception that this is a very wealthy district. Out of the 740,000 people, only about 190,000 have college degrees, 90,000 have graduate degrees,” said Kristen Rosen Gonzalez. “But the vast majority of people in this district are uneducated.

    Because ‘college’=’educated’ (no matter what you actually study)…Either way, “vote for me you stupid idiots” is probably not a winning strategy.

    ~~~edit fairy~~~

    1. R C Dean

      I particularly like the slide from “wealthy” to “educated”. As if a district with “only” 25% college degrees couldn’t be wealthy?

      1. AlexinCT

        According to team blue you can only be wealthy if you peddle the right marxist bullshit ideas they want you to believe will fix all the things their implementations those marxist bullshit ideas have broken in the first place.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Liberals are reactionaries who see guns killing people and wonder why guns aren’t banned…rather than, I don’t know, figuring out why an entire generation of children is plagued by such severe disenfranchisement with our system that they join up with right-wing paramilitary groups before they’re 18.

    After reading that sentence, I felt as if were in a burning car, upside down in a ditch, with no idea how I got there.

    1. commodious spittoon

      It’s the sort of tripe I’d have written when I was a progressive teenager who knew nothing except I hated Bush and thought Cheney was literally the devil. Not at all like the tripe I write now that I’m an adult and know nothing except that I hate progressives and teenagers.

    2. R C Dean

      I was unaware that our school shooters had joined right-wing paramilitary groups. Interesting that the author apparently (a) couldn’t bring xirself to assign responsibility for killing to the killer and/or (b) thought the worst thing they could say about someone wasn’t that they were a mass-murderer, but that they had joined a right wing paramilitary group.

  45. Juvenile Bluster

    Happy Passover to all of my favorite members of the tribe.

    I hope you found a good gentile child to kill for your matzoh blood.

    1. Lachowsky

      (((you))) people need diversity in your blood sacrifices. Targeting only gentiles is racisss

    2. I’m grabbing my Remington 700 and going hunting this afternoon as the elementary schools are letting out. Not the same kind of hunting that OMWC does though…

      1. Not that the FBI would do anything about it anyway… but that was a joke.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        OMWC does more of a catch and release kinda thing.

        1. Festus

          “Barbless hooks” if you will….

  46. Rufus the Monocled

    Sigh. Looks like ‘Gotham’ is gonna try and push or jump on this SJW bull shit. I’ve invested time in this show and don’t like that stunt they pulled with Kane and the League of Shadows. The girls kill off all the men ‘because they’re weak and don’t like change’. Girl power my ass.

    That was bush league.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I stopped watching that after the first season.

      The “girls who can kick everybody’s ass” trope is getting tiresome.

      1. TK

        Did you see Atomic Blonde? The main actress throws dudes that weigh twice as much as her as if they’re nothing.

        There are points where she and unnamed bad man wrestle around over weapons and the guy somehow struggles to overpower her. Give me a break.

        Still a fun movie though.

        1. Badolph Hilter

          Agree and agree.

        2. R C Dean

          Yup on all counts. At least the female at issue was (a) an adult, and not a waifish teen and (b) Charlize Theron.

        3. Idle Hands

          I enjoyed the film, also did a pretty good job of showing the main character sustain injuries. Thats like the first time I can remember seeing a movie where every fight seemed to at least take some toll on the character.

        4. kinnath

          I watched that movie this weekend and was pleasantly surprised.

          Great fight choreography. Could easily be titled Jane Wick.

          1. Sean

            Great fight choreography. Could easily be titled Jane Wick.

            That comment just added this movie to my watch list.

          2. TK

            I definitely recommend it. It has excellent choreography, good camera work and an interesting plot. Not quite at the level of John Wick, but worth a rent.

          3. R C Dean

            You left out Charlize Theron. In short skirts and . . . interesting boots.

          4. TK

            Eh, I could take her or leave her. Don’t get me wrong, if I met her in real life, I’d be interested without a doubt. But if we’re going by celebrity-standards – meh, she’s cute for a 40 year old.

          5. kinnath

            I was expecting a shitty rehash of a comic book.

            Instead, it was a great period setting at the fall of the Berlin wall (which I am old enough to remember) with a great sound track driven by contemporary pop music.

            It has dark, gritty fight scenes where the heroine comes away bruised and bloodied.

            And it has a plot that generally makes sense.

            I have no idea how this movie got made (other than someone wanted to pay Charlize Theron to take her clothes off.

      2. Chipwooder

        Same. I’m a fat bastard with minimal training but even I could beat the hell out of a skinny girl.

        I realize that sounds bad when I type it out, but you know what I mean…..don’t you?

    2. Rhywun

      I’ve invested time in this show

      I see where you’ve gone astray.

      1. AlexinCT

        ^^^THIS^^^

    3. CPRM

      The entire show is a trainwreck; that’s the only reason I watch.

  47. Juvenile Bluster

    Not sure how many of you watch Westworld, but the Season 2 trailer is incredible.

    A+ music from Ramin Djawadi as well.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Great show…

    2. Idle Hands

      I really couldn’t get into the show. Have tried it twice. Excited Silicon Valley is back though.

      1. Idle Hands

        Also love the Americans, Keri Russell is something.

    3. I definitely do. I really liked the first season and I’m interested to see where they take it.

    4. Chipwooder

      Was that like a chamber music version of Heart Shaped Box? Rather cool.

      1. Juvenile Bluster
      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Also worth listening to this (similar) version of Paint It Black from last season. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iZ9JRVmJ5o

    5. Badolph Hilter

      Easily the best show of the last 10 years in my personal opinion.

      1. slumbrew

        Easily the best show of the last 10 years in my personal opinion.

        It’s good but it’s not, say, Breaking Bad (not yet, anyway – maybe it gets there).

        1. Badolph Hilter

          I’ve had no interest at all for most of the other megahits of the last decade, but I do realize that’s a minority view. Westworld just pushes buttons for me that the others don’t.

          1. R C Dean

            I loved Westworld. I thought it was really smart in the issues it raised and how it addressed them.

            My one and only beef was the chick who shows up halfway through who is supposed to be the chair of a major corporation. Err, sorry, way too young to be credible in that role.

          2. Badolph Hilter

            You didn’t read that as commentary on how minority females would be fast-tracked into positions of power that they didn’t earn through experience?

            Just kidding, your criticism is fair. But I did find her very credible in the role of “woman who takes the sexy male robot for a hot, sweaty ride”.

          3. If you fill positions of authority based on irrelevent criteria like sex and skin tone, you generate the impression that people of those favored criteria are bad leaders, because a higher than average proportion of the appointees will be inveterate screwups due to not being fit for purpose, thus working against the claimed purpose of the bigoted actions.

          4. Chipwooder

            And she is, indeed, bad at her job.

            Besides, I thought that was just a convenient device to hide her identity for a while when she first arrives at the park, leading to yet another surprise plot twist when you discover who she is.

          5. AlexinCT

            If you fill positions of authority based on irrelevent criteria like sex and skin tone, you generate the impression that people of those favored criteria are bad leaders, because a higher than average proportion of the appointees will be inveterate screwups due to not being fit for purpose, thus working against the claimed purpose of the bigoted actions.

            Your honor, I would like to present Exhibits A and B…

            Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

          6. Chipwooder

            Same. I didn’t like Breaking Bad at all. I think I have to have someone to root for/identify with. Shows where everyone is a horrible person don’t hook me.

          7. I liked it for awhile, but yeah, everyone was a shithead. Jessie eventually got right.

          8. R C Dean

            That’s exactly why I bailed on it at the end of season 3 or 4. I hated everybody. I can get that just by leaving the house; I want my entertainment to be something different than my daily life.

          9. Idle Hands

            I quit when I started liking and identifying with the DEA agent. I immediately turned off the television and took a shower.

      2. Chipwooder

        Now that Deadwood is no longer in the last ten years, I agree.

        1. Badolph Hilter

          I’ve had Deadwood on my “should watch” list for a while now. Although if I watch it right now, I’ll probably just be disappointed that it’s not more Westworld.

          1. kinnath

            San Francisco Cock Sucker.

            Watch Deadwood. ASAP.

          2. Badolph Hilter

            You do make a persuasive argument.

          3. Chipwooder

            ASAP indeed. Deadwood is fantastic. Love everything about it. You know how I said earlier that I didn’t like Breaking Bad because all the characters were horrible people I hated? Deadwood manages to be a realistic show where almost everyone is a significantly flawed person, yet they still managed to create so many sympathetic characters. Even the villains have their sympathetic moments. So many very human, three-dimensional characters.

      3. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

        No love for Justified? Really?

    6. CPRM

      I don’t know if it was the pacing or what; I only made it through the first two episodes and I didn’t care.

  48. slumbrew

    Woot – new Fifth Column; off to a strong start, they’re already drunk and funny (no Welch, at least so far).

  49. Congratulations to … nobody … for winning the Glibs AM Links Easter Egg Hunt.

    ::kicks pebble::

    The stories are highlighted now. Feel free to click through.

    1. Look, man, I’m sorry, I got next to no sleep and I’m already 3 1/2 hours into a new troubleshooting session because stuff’s still broke. I don’t think I’ve even read all the comments.

      1. slumbrew

        Ooof, they better at least give some PTO when this shitshow is over, even if it’s the unofficial kind.

        1. My supervisor’s back from vacaton monday, I do plan to bring it up then when telling him what happened while he was gone.

    2. Lachowsky

      I wish you’d cover college baseball in the sports links, Mr. Sloopy.

      Pigs got their 5th win against a top 5 team last night. It’s not like that isn’t newsworthy

      1. It’s hard to cover college baseball. Not enough news outlets do a good job with it, and it brings too much positive attention to the fucking SEC for my tastes.

        I’ll cover the playoffs and CWS though, as a compromise. But most likely in a way that disparages the entire conference with the exception of your Razorbacks.

        1. Lachowsky

          The SEC is the best conference and we are almighty shit is overplayed in football. I’ll give you that.

          In baseball though, even if you hate it, The SEC is legitimate as the premiere leauge. It’s insane hiw good Florida, Ole Miss, Kentucy, Arkansa, A@M, South Carolina, Vanderbilt, Georgia, are.

          It’s good sportsball. At least as good as that stick and puck bullshit they play up in America’s tophat.

          1. “The SEC is legitimate as the premiere league. ”

            Gee, I wonder why.

          2. Chipwooder

            It’s legitimate right now. In recent seasons, the ACC would have just as much claim to that. Down years for Virginia, UNC, Miami this season though.

      2. Get your own links, damnit.

    3. Sorry, man, I’m oblivious. Ask my wife. I appreciate the effort though, as always!

    4. TK

      Now I feel bad. 🙁 I didn’t realized it was a contest of some sort, I thought we were just being trolled.

      1. Badolph Hilter

        Did you not read any of the comments in this thread? NEVER APOLOGIZE.

        1. TK

          We’re libertarians, we don’t have twitter mobs.

          Besides, I propose that its not the apology that is the problem. It’s the apology to progressives (and democrats more widely) that is the problem. Decent people appreciate apologies and move on. Leftists smell apologies like a shark smells blood in the water.

          1. commodious spittoon

            It’s like signing your confession. It’s not enough that they drag you out to the mass grave and put one through the back of your head, they have to have your signature on the record admitting to crimes against the People. The apology isn’t for them, it’s for the masses suffering under their yoke.

  50. They make this out to be a feel-good story, but I remain skeptical.

    http://www.coloradoindependent.com/169538/colorado-redistricting-ballot-measure

    The current map here is rated by the KozKidz as being one of the most friendly to Dems in the nation, so I guess any improvement is good.

    1. I had a simple rule to end gerrymandering – districts may contain no concave boundaries that are not also state boundaries (not an issue for rectangular states like colorado)

      1. You know, I’ll bet there’s an algorithm that could generate shapes within states that are as close to equilateral as possible while having the fewest corners necessary containing roughly equal populations based on a population per district limit.

        1. Rhywun

          And you’d be right.

          1. Number.6

            Heh. Even with the most egregious gerrymandering, CT’s Republicans would still only be sure of one seat

          2. slumbrew

            Mass is even more hilarious: https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/redistricting-maps/massachusetts/#GOP

            Even with a thumb on the scales, it’d be just 1district with a better than 50% chance to go Republican.

          3. kbolino

            I think the county border method in Maryland is pretty good but the state Democrats have so much power and get what they want from the voters so often that they’d be able to redraw the counties.

          4. Yeah, I thought the straight compact algorithm is probably fairest but it’s telling how little impact any of the methods have on the ultimate outcome. You would have to gerrymander specifically in favor of Republicans in order to get an even split. You could easily go the other way and get all blue.

            I like the county border method, though, because while county lines change there’s still a pretty good chance that within the counties (for us, at least) you’re going to have most people sharing common interests. I’d argue that Frederick and Garrett counties don’t have that much in common, nor do, say, Cecil and Worcester, or Anne Arundel and St. Mary’s.

      2. Lachowsky

        A better solution to gerrymandering-

        Give the benefits of gerrymandering so little power that it doesn’t matter.

        1. Lachowsky

          beneficiaries not benefits.
          /lord help me

        2. perfect. good. enemies.

      3. F. Stupidity Jr.

        districts may contain no concave boundaries that are not also state boundaries

        “No problem!” says the redistricting committee, who then began drawing convex boundaries.

        1. R C Dean

          Isn’t a convex boundary for one district a concave boundary for the neighboring district? Doesn’t this really mean all boundaries must be straight lines, and even that begs the question of corners.

          1. F. Stupidity Jr.

            Well, in UCS-world, the shitweasels in charge of redistricting will draw up their borders as convex. If it makes the neighboring district concave, well, they didn’t draw their own border as concave, therefore it’s still legal.

          2. I saw a field of straight lines meeting at intersections of three or four district boundaries.

            Curved lines are for natural things.

      4. kbolino

        I can think of at least one degenerate case that meets the non-concave requirement (all districts meet at a single point) and even in non-degenerate cases like Voronoi diagrams you can still game the system by choosing the seed points.

    2. thepasswordispassword

      The current map was the result of “setting aside partisan differences” getting a dem friendly map that was contested in court, thrown out and an even more dem friendly map drawn. The proposal is overly complicated and I predict will serve as little more than a fig leaf to cover partisan influence. At least actual naked partisanship is honest.

      There’s also this nugget.

      They would protect minority groups in Colorado in a way that could outlive the Voting Rights Act if the federal law is further chipped away by the courts or Congress by enshrining VRA language in Colorado’s Constitution.

      Fuck that noise.

      Also that’s a cute bit at the end how the non-partisan League of Women Voters is worried how it might all be a stalking horse to turn the nation red and will just hurt Democrats.

      1. Rhywun

        You’d think “minorities” would get tired of being taken for granted by now and start questioning being used as a dogwhistle for “Democrat”.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Congratulations to … nobody … for winning the Glibs AM Links Easter Egg Hunt.

    I enacted your labor on that teacher pension story. I provided a link.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    I had a simple rule to end gerrymandering – districts may contain no concave boundaries that are not also state boundaries (not an issue for rectangular states like colorado)

    I’d accept districts composed of counties.

    1. If be good with that, but not all states divide counties the same way.

      Although if it resulted in LA County and Nassau County only getting one rep, I can’t possibly imagine a downside.

      1. It resulted in these guys last time apportionment was ignored.

    2. Spartacus

      Here’s a thought: if you have N representatives in a state, randomly assign every voter an integer from 1 to N. No geographical boundaries at all.

      1. Rhywun

        That’s an easy way to have every state ruled by the largest cities, if that’s what you were going for.

    1. Rhywun

      Women live longer than men. If there has to be a “retirement age”, theirs should be greater, not lesser.

      1. AlexinCT

        Patriarchy!

        Why do you want to sue facts like that to oppress the sisterhood?

    2. thepasswordispassword

      Malicious compliance.

    3. Brochettaward

      “This is a clear case of abuse of misuse of retirement rights and of the law on gender identity,” Salta Province civil registry head Matias Assennato said.

      Completely unforeseen. Who could have predicted it? This is not what was intended!

  53. Brochettaward

    Regarding the Ingraham apology to Hogg above, what I find most noticeable is his willing to call himself and his cohorts “children.”

    It’s time to love thy neighbor, not mudsling at children.

    Think about this for a moment.

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Well, if parents are carrying kids on their insurance until age 26, 18 is the new 12.

      1. invisible finger

        That means 3 is the new abortion

        1. The Last American Hero

          You think a 3 year old can survive for long on its own?

    2. commodious spittoon

      Clown nose on, clown nose off. Innocent little toddler tiara on, innocent little toddler tiara off.

    3. kbolino

      Jon Stewart to the white courtesy phone. Jon Stewart, …

  54. The best solution to the redistricting plan is to declare the (unconstitutional) Permanent Apportionment Act unconstitutional and draw districts with as few lines as possible around groups of 30,000 people. Then tell those reps they must work out of a local office a minimum of 200 days a year and budget them for a staff of one assistant.

    And have state governments appoint Senators.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      And have state governments appoint Senators.

      That’s dead and it was dying even before the 17A. If not direct election, then advisory or binding referendum on who should be selected would happen.

    2. trshmnstr

      # of representatives for the district = floor(4 / (30,000 * number of lines used to draw the district) – floor(abs(30,000 – population of district) / 1,000))

      1. trshmnstr

        Oops, I fucked that up.

        # of representatives for the district = floor(4 / number of lines used to draw the district – floor(abs(30,000 – population of district) / 1,000))

  55. A Fuggin White Male

    It’s taking everything in my power to not call my sister-in-law a piece of shit for calling in sick to work today (she’s a teacher in Kentucky).

    Now there’s a group text message with the whole family going around where everyone (well, the women anyway) saying how much they support her. And she’s eating it up, while ragging on the pension reform as well as launching into tirades about charter schools (because fuck kids, right? Why should they get more than one choice where they can go to school?). The whole family was asked to wear red in solidarity like good little commie foot-soldiers.

    Fuck her. I hope my brother divorces her.

    1. kbolino

      a group text message

      I hate these fucking things.

      1. Badolph Hilter

        There are …. remedies … for those group messages.

        1. TK

          Is there a place we can concentrate these groups that send messages? Like a camp?

    2. I’d wear a Michigan shirt and nothing else before I wore red in solidarity with pubsec union leeches staging a walkout.

    3. Drake

      Just sarcastically complain about your pension on the group text. In a way that makes it obvious that normal people don’t get pensions.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Oh, that’s easy. Businesses should be forced to provide pensions to all employees, and job protection, and a gold watch upon retirement, as once it was.

    4. TK

      Just… turn off the notifications for the group messages and back away slowly. It’s not worth getting into it, man.

    5. IUf she’s not actually sick, why the hell should she call in? I’m at my desk and I already worked two days yesterday.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Protesting pension changes by proving yourself an unreliable employee seems a little backward.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Proving yourself unreliable while flouting another benefit, I might add. I’d have some respect for teachers who walked out and picketed, but hiding behind their sick leave allowance is pretty thin fucking gruel. They’re getting parents to exert pressure for them because they lack the confidence of their convictions. Contemptible shits.

      2. I already worked two days yesterday.

        We know, martyr.

        1. I’m tired, I forget what I told people.

    6. trshmnstr

      “Unsubscribe, pls”

  56. The Late P Brooks

    Here’s a thought: if you have N representatives in a state, randomly assign every voter an integer from 1 to N. No geographical boundaries at all.

    An interesting notion. I also like the idea of reducing the pernicious effects of allowing the representative to use geographically targetted projects to buy votes, which is an idea I have been kicking around for a while.

    1. Ditto.

      Proportional representation in a state rather than first past the post in individual districts would also get libertarians a seat at the table.

      Lastly, I’d be a fan of seeing as many names as possible on a ballot and giving each person in the state as many votes as there are reps for the state.*

      *and allow people to spend multiple votes on candidates if they want. That would ensure a broader representation of the populus’s political leanings without a doubt.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    The whole family was asked to wear red in solidarity like good little commie foot-soldiers.

    Gack. I hope you have a Gadsden Flag shirt to wear.

    1. A Fuggin White Male

      I don’t… but I was wondering if I should tell the family “My wife would appreciate if you not partake in wearing Marxist symmbols and furthering the Marxist agenda”

      My wife is an immigrant from Moldova, a former Soviet state. Not only did she have relatives (including a grandfather) who died in the gulag, but she directly lived through the collapse of the whole system and the hellish consequences that resulted. When she was 9, shortly after the collapse, her dad woke her up in the middle of the night to kiss her goodbye. It was the last chance to board a train to Siberia, where he could get some work for a few months for a logging company. He came back in a body bag with no explanation. Her mother was left to raise 4 kids, in post-Soviet Moldova during the 1990s. None of us will never know that sort of hell (hopefully).

      1. commodious spittoon

        If she’s willing to sign off on it, for sure. That’s a pretty compelling reaction, especially as pithy as you’ve made it.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    what I find most noticeable is his willing to call himself and his cohorts “children.”

    S O P.

    Those “strong, self-sufficient, empowered, independent” women are only too willing to drop their lace hankies and bat their eyes when they need a (masculine) hand.

    1. commodious spittoon

      It’s okay, they’ve given themselves permission to be flawed feminists.

  59. Libby

    I apologize if this has been asked (many times) before, but is there an organization that is not the NRA that is worth donating to in support of the second amendment/gun rights?

    1. SAF and GOA are good.

      Also, the fledgling Sloopy Fund For Loving Guns And Hating Skunkweasels is accepting donations ahead of obtaining nonprofit status.

      Checks, money orders and cash accepted.

      1. Libby

        Hm I do really hate skunkweasels. Sign me up!

      2. F. Stupidity Jr.

        Sloopy Fund For Loving Guns And Hating Skunkweasels

        SFLGHS?

        Worst. Acronym. Ever.

      3. Gustave Lytton

        SAF, despite Heller, isn’t. Gottlieb is a weasel that’s supported gun control in Washington state. The sort of common sense restrictions that gun grabbers use to get their nose under the tent.

    2. Rebel Scum

      SAF and GOA are good.

      Seconded. They are way more hardcore on 2A than the NRA.

  60. You know what profession can take a long walk off a short pier? House appraisers. Who the fuck are you to tell me what the “true value” of my home is? The value of my home is whatever I can get someone to pay for it bucko.

    1. Badolph Hilter

      I had a former work colleague who was strongly of the opinion that any house appraisal from the govt should be a legally binding offer to purchase.

      1. A Fuggin White Male

        That’s an interesting concept.

      2. Nephilium

        There was an interesting property tax plan proposed in Heinlein’s Number of the Beast. Everyone reports their own property valuation to the government, and pays taxes on it. However, any property can be purchased based on the value you reported to the government. If you didn’t want to sell, you could then adjust the valuation of your property and pay (I believe it was) 3 years of back taxes on the difference.

        1. This is bullshit. I should not be forced to pay an impossibly high tithe to the state just to not be forced out of my home.

          End the land tax and give the owners alloidal title.

    2. R C Dean

      Actually, I see the point of doing the appraisal. Its for the mortgage company, which isn’t interested in what a single buyer will pay today (which could well be an outlier). The mortgage company needs to know that it will likely be able to sell the house for enough to pay off the mortgage if it has to foreclose.

      1. TK

        ^ This. It’s pretty crucial in the lending world, unless you want to have a whole lot more trouble getting a mortgage loan.

    3. Disregard it for commercial purposes. Use market comps. Let the mortgage company be the mortgage company.

  61. My shitty malformed jaw is really sore today; must have clenched in my sleep.

    1. Giggity?

      Wait a minute. The “Q” is for Quagmire, isn’t it? Not TNG.

    2. TK

      I have a messed up jaw too, but its my own fault because I used to do a bunch of coke and ecstasy. Worth it.

      1. Mine’s from idiopathic overproduction of growth hormone.

      2. Chipwooder

        Am I missing something? As someone who’s never done either of those things, why would that mess up your jaw?

        1. straffinrun

          I’m hoping it’s not about raising money for the habit. 😉

          1. AlexinCT

            Where is that Dave Chappelle crackhead offering to suck dick for a hit video?

        2. TK

          Extreme clenching of the jaw repeatedly over time. Now it clicks very loudly when I chew, unless I’m careful. Its not painful, but I get asked about it fairly often – that’s how loud it can be.

    3. You should really switch to a Q Bert 8-bit avatar.

  62. Here’s an idea:

    Freedom caucus introduces a bill that reauthorizes the AWB, but simultaneously eliminates the Secret Service and Capitol Police and outlaws private security details for elected officials. Y’know, since the world will be so safe afterward, there’s no sense wasting the money right?

  63. The Late P Brooks

    Wut?

    Facebook executive Andrew Bosworth says he didn’t agree with a provocative memo leaked to Buzzfeed in which he describes the company’s mentality to grow and connect people at all costs.

    Bosworth, who goes by “Boz,” said on Twitter Thursday that he didn’t agree with the post even when he wrote it. In the 2016 internal memo titled “The Ugly,” he writes that “all the work we do in growth is justified,” even if it costs someone their life because they are exposed to bullies or die in a terrorist attack. Bosworth has been at Facebook since 2006 and serves as the company’s vice president in charge of the company’s virtual reality and augmented reality efforts. Previously he was VP of ads and he helped create Facebook features such as Messenger, its news feed and groups.

    Bosworth tweeted on Thursday that he meant for the memo to be provocative and that it was one of the most unpopular things he’s written internally.

    I find this story… confusing.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Facebook is grappling with an unprecedented crisis as it continues to grapple with Russian elections-meddling through its platform and privacy scandals.

      One of these things is not like the other,
      one of these things does not belong.

    2. Gilmore

      -“”I find this story… confusing.””

      Keep in mind: every facebook “story” is about 1 thing: Facebook is crushing the market share and profit-margins of traditional media. So traditional media leap on any detail possible and try to spin it as, “here is [another reason] you should hate Facebook”

      ~ 62*% (probably higher: it was ~40-something only 5 years ago) of adults get their news linked from social media; the primary social-media being Facebook

      Because of this, advertisers now split their attention between the “gatekeeper media” (facebook) who controls what people see (and can collect far more valuable data on how they behave/think/what they respond to)…. and the ‘destination media’, which simply produces static content.

      In short: the value of the role of gatekeeper has grown enormously, and its killing news-media and editorial-media. they make less and less money every year.

      In 2016, media were expected Hillary to win, and they expected Hillary would help them fuck-over facebook and potentially regulate it, etc.

      This is why the news originally started pumping concerns about “Fake News” (which backfired in their face); blaming FB for disseminating falsehoods / enabling evil politicking

      This campaign to destroy facebook (and youtube, who is the equivilent evil entity from the POV of music companies, TV networks, etc) is only getting hotter and more shrill.

      Keep this in mind whenever you see their name in ‘print’.

      1. Gilmore

        more; from 2015

        ….consider some of the latest numbers from Pew, in its annual State of the Media report, which came out on Wednesday:

        • As in previous years, just five companies generate the majority (61 percent) of digital ad revenue: Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Yahoo, and AOL.

        • Facebook more than doubled digital ad revenue over the course of two years. It made $5 billion in ad money last year. That represents 10 percent of all digital ad revenue.

        • Facebook is getting a quarter of all display ad revenue and more than a third (37 percent) of display ads on mobile.

        The Pew report is also a reminder that Facebook—and, to a smaller extent, social publishing sites like Twitter—has changed Americans’ news diets. For most news consumers, long gone are the days of sitting down to read an entire newspaper. Instead, people are increasingly beginning with Facebook and dipping into a variety of news sites on an article to article basis.

        **

        The average visit to The New York Times’ website and associated apps in January 2015 lasted only 4.6 minutes – and this was the highest of the top 25. Thus, most online newspaper visitors are “flybys,” arriving perhaps through a link on a social networking site or sent in an email, and so may not think of this experience as “reading a newspaper” but simply browsing an article online.

        For context: The average American smartphone owner spends more than 42 minutes a day on the site, according to CEO Mark Zuckerberg in an earnings call last year. Facebook accounts for one out of every five minutes spent on a smartphone, he said.

        How does this affect the way news-media treat facebook?

        you can interpret it a variety of ways. the news media want to use their clout to remind FB “we’re important too”; you can’t just dismiss our concerns. *MAKE CONCESSIONS TO US*

        Its public-jawboning. I think it also serves as a defensive measure: sow mistrust, drive people away from FB, and perhaps you’ll grow your annual unique visitors who have taken your message to heart: come directly to our news-websites, ignore your social-media feeds.

        i think its also trying to plant seeds of the idea that social media needs to be regulated by govt. and news media think they’ll be the winners in any subsequent regulation

  64. KibbledKristen

    So I was watching the SpaceX launch (sadly, no assplosion), and the video stream host mentioned that they would cut the broadcast at 9 mins because of NOAA restrictions.

    Well, that line set the Tweeters en fuego. There’s no official statement, but indications are that you need a motherfucking license from NOAA to take pictures of the Earth. Da. Fuq.

    1. KibbledKristen

      You can follow it here.

    2. TK

      That’s because the Earth is fucking flat and they don’t want you finding out. OPEN YOUR EYES

    3. KibbledKristen

      BTW, NOAA’s initial response was “Huh?”

      1. I don’t expect an agency to know either all of its own regs or what lies one of its people told others.

        1. KibbledKristen

          Then perhaps they should say “We’ll get back to you” or “We have no comment at the moment” instead of saying “We have nothing to do with SpaceX and have no idea why they would say that”

          1. It’s NOAA, it didn’t have to do with Warmism, so the Spokesintern was confused.

    4. KibbledKristen

      Also, SpaceX has broadcast full launch and deployment of all the previous Iridium launches.

      1. Idle Hands

        Also just got back from copper tuesday had a blast. My parents are still there skiing in it.

        1. KibbledKristen

          Nice!!

    5. Scruffy Nerfherder

      They don’t want you to see how they make the chemtrails

    6. KibbledKristen
  65. The Late P Brooks

    I had a former work colleague who was strongly of the opinion that any house appraisal from the govt should be a legally binding offer to purchase.

    Eminent Domain, FTW!

  66. The Late P Brooks

    Eminent Domain, FTW!

    On second thought, maybe I misread that. Was he saying the government should buy your house at the overinflated “appraisal” value used to set property taxes?

    1. I believe that is a correct assessment.

    2. Badolph Hilter

      Yes, he was saying that if you could take that tax appraisal as a binding offer to purchase, the govt might be a bit less cavalier about the number, knowing that they’d better appraise it at a value that they’re comfortable they could flip it for if you take them up on the offer.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Interesting, but I think they would then low-ball the valuation and raise the tax rate.

        1. AlexinCT

          They are gonna get their money one way or another, and preferably while screwing you over in the process.

  67. MikeS

    From teh Starbucks article:

    In his decision, (Judge) Berle said: ‘Defendants failed to satisfy their burden of proving by a preponderance of evidence that consumption of coffee confers a benefit to human health.’

    Is this a proper legal decision? The defendants had to prove that coffee can be good for you? Shouldn’t the plaintiff have the burden to prove that coffee causes cancer?

    1. MikeS

      Several defendants in the case settled before Wednesday’s decision, agreeing to post signage about the cancer-linked chemical and pay millions in fines, according to published reports.

      Which of course is what the lawsuit is really about…

      Assholes

      1. AlexinCT

        Wait, you didn’t see that immediately as the reason these cunts were grandstanding?

        1. MikeS

          My weakness is assuming most people’s motives are pure (even if I disagree with them) until I see proof otherwise. It didn’t take long in this case to see otherwise.

    2. Forget it man, it’s Commiefornia.

    3. Burden of proof is for peasants.

    4. R C Dean

      Hilarious. They just applied the Precautionary Principle to coffee. Although, to do it right, they need to ban coffee because it can’t be proven to be beneficial.

      1. AlexinCT

        When they can demand you have to label a product as hazardous because of trace amounts that would require consumption levels that would by its own nature to death, you know that there is something else driving the idiocy. This reminds me of the Boston Globe article claiming all dudes in Boston would develop tits because of a study that found female hormones in their water supply. If you actually went to the study to look at the numbers, you found that the amounts were in the parts per billion, requiring your average dude to drink around 3000 gallons of that water a day for life to get the equivalent of one dose of hormone treatment.

        I suspect that it being Boston however, a ton of dudes hoping to grow tits ended up disappointed. Maybe they should have sued the fucking idiot that wrote that article for getting their hopes up and then dashing them with their lack of scientific rigor.

        1. The Last American Hero

          How does you explain Boston being so pussified during the Boston Bombing manhunt, smartguy?

      2. Rhywun

        With a lengthy period of taxing the everloving shit out of it first, of course.

        1. MikeS

          …and suing the shit out of Jaun Valdez and his minions for knowingly trying to kill us with their cancer causing coffee beans.

      3. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

        I really need to get my article up on that… you’d think they could look to the FDA GRAS designation as prima facia proof coffee is safe.

    5. Gilmore

      In his decision, (Judge) Berle said: ‘Defendants failed to satisfy their burden of proving by a preponderance of evidence that consumption of coffee confers a benefit to human health.’

      ??

      Pretty sure there’s piles of evidence showing that. Of course, it also – like anything – has associated liabilities too, but benefits have been significant enough to convince many nutritionist types that consumption should be *recommended* rather than dissuaded.

      I think one of most significant ones was the effect it has in liver damage-reduction. Given the increased number of things in diets which can punish the liver, coffee is seen as a potential defense mechanism.

      more

      last year, a systematic review and meta-analysis of studies looking at long-term consumption of coffee and the risk of cardiovascular disease was published. The researchers found 36 studies involving more than 1,270,000 participants. The combined data showed that those who consumed a moderate amount of coffee, about three to five cups a day, were at the lowest risk for problems. Those who consumed five or more cups a day had no higher risk than those who consumed none.

      – noted: this is for black coffee. adding sugar and milk tends to change their assessment of significance of benefits

      Years earlier, a meta-analysis — a study of studies, in which data are pooled and analyzed together — was published looking at how coffee consumption might be associated with stroke. Eleven studies were found, including almost 480,000 participants. As with the prior studies, consumption of two to six cups of coffee a day was associated with a lower risk of disease, compared with those who drank none…

      …another meta-analysis examined how drinking coffee might be associated with heart failure. Again, moderate consumption was associated with a lower risk, with the lowest risk among those who consumed four servings a day. …

      …A meta-analysis published in 2007 found that increasing coffee consumption by two cups a day was associated with a lower relative risk of liver cancer by more than 40 percent. Two more recent studies confirmed these findings. Results from meta-analyses looking at prostate cancer found that in the higher-quality studies, coffee consumption was not associated with negative outcomes.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I have no problem believing the scorched liquid sadness they sell as coffee is more harmful than helpful, especially loaded up with the sugary crap needed to make it potable.

        1. Gilmore

          i did not read the original article-story so…. was the claim that *starbucks coffee* in particular was healthful?

          (quick look)

          it seems the claim by the advocacy group is that “all brewed coffee” has cancer risks.

          If that’s their claim, my point was that the collection of available research is pretty compelling that coffee – as a whole – is associated with reduction of specific kinds of cancer-risk.

          mine was not a case that Starbucks makes good coffee

          also, its seems the motivation of the plaintiffs is just to find any big companies, and rob them blind with faux-risk claims.

          The lawsuit was filed in 2010 by the Council for Education and Research on Toxics (CERT).

          It calls for fines as large as $2,500 per person for every exposure to the chemical since 2002 at the defendants´ shops in California.

          Any civil penalties, which will be decided in a third phase of the trial, could be huge in California, which has a population of nearly 40 million.

          They sound like a carbon copy of the “Center for Science in the Public Interest” types. Bloody vultures.

  68. The Late P Brooks

    ‘Defendants failed to satisfy their burden of proving by a preponderance of evidence that consumption of coffee confers a benefit to human health.’

    WHEEEEEEEEE!

    For some reason, I don’t think a “learned jurist” would accept an argument that a government program would require definitive proof of its positive effect in order to exist.

  69. The Late P Brooks

    Although, to do it right, they need to ban coffee because it can’t be proven to be beneficial.

    TBA

  70. The Late P Brooks

    Mine’s from idiopathic overproduction of growth hormone.

    You’re Ron Perlman?

  71. The Late P Brooks

    I have stated my concerns with Amazon long before the Election. Unlike others, they pay little or no taxes to state & local governments, use our Postal System as their Delivery Boy (causing tremendous loss to the U.S.), and are putting many thousands of retailers out of business!

    D Trump, supergenius

    *pounds head on desk*

    1. are putting many thousands of retailers out of business

      Retailers who are never open when I need them, are located in inconvenient spots, require me to go to them rather than delivering, and charge more. why should I give a damn?

      1. commodious spittoon

        First they came for the mom and pop stores, and I said nothing, for I did not shop at mom and pop stores.

        Then they came for the big-box retailers, and I said nothing, for I did not shop at big-box retailers.

        It’ll be pretty funny if Best Buy and Walmart become the new face of the poor local owner being driven under by Amazon. Who will think of the district and regional managers?! They have families, too!

        1. They came for the buggy-whip makers and I said nothing, because I drove a car.

    2. Number.6

      Yes, every package Amazon forces the USPS to deliver, costs the taxpayer more money.

      This shall not stand!

      1. Yes, the postal service can renegotiate it’s deal to stop giving away delivery services. That is not only acceptable but expected and good.

        The bullshit about local taxes and failing compeditors is a doorway to very bad things.

        1. The crock of shit here is that the USPS is self-funded through revenue from deliveries of letters and packages. They were ordered by Congress to pre-fund upcoming retirement pensions and benefits because they have no other legal backup plan, unlike other agencies. Congress can’t just appropriate funds to make the USPS pension budget solvent. USPS hated that because they had to subsequently find the money somewhere, and nobody mails letters anymore. If they bump shipping costs up, people will just go to FedEx or UPS for everything and not give USPS a second thought. So really, you would think that there would be a portrait of Jeff Bezos hanging in a place of honor in every post office in this country.

    3. kbolino

      Isn’t the USPS supposed to be run like a business? Are they not charging for delivery? How can a business complain about getting too much paid work?

      1. They’re the only government agency that has to be self-funded. They’ve been the only game in town for like 200 years and now they’re mad that they have to actually compete.

        1. Number.6

          I’d like it if they increased the printed-paper rate a bit.

  72. thepasswordispassword

    There is no such thing as peak derp. Occupational Licensing for “Designers”

    But the counterargument is that regulation like this would stifle innovation, that the only reason these companies have been able to grow as fast as they have is because they aren’t regulated and designers don’t need to be licensed.
    You just described cancer.

    OK …
    That’s my serious answer. Unregulated growth kills people.

    I don’t care how big you’ve been able to grow. I don’t care about you, or your company, or your stakeholders. That can’t be our number one concern. Our number one concern needs to be society, the people in it, which, by the way, includes us.

    As a society, we need to care more about that than whether Twitter is profitable for a quarter. Who cares? Some rich people got richer. Fantastic. But at what cost?

    1. leonadasiv

      Ignore all the people we die because they can’t get a job because they can’t afford to pay for the licensing.