Friday Morning Links

Thank God its Friday.  And the first round of golf I will have gotten to play in some time.  Well, that’s the plan anyway.  It may not happen now that I’m a little short-staffed at the auction yard after the yard guy I’d hired as a favor to my friend decided to get good and drunk on the job yesterday to the point that he embarrassed me in front of a customer I was loading out and then decided to take a 45 minute nap until I woke him enough to forcibly eject him from the property. Seriously. Dude was 3/4 of the way through his second 42 ounces of cool, refreshing Steel Reserve when I came back from a meeting with a customer and the landlord of my office. And it wasn’t even noon.

Auction time? You mean sleepy time

Anyway, I got out of there without him hurting himself or someone else. But that’s what I get for hiring the degenerate son of a friend instead of a random dude with a pulse that sits in front of the nearest Home Depot.  Lesson learned. and rant over.

I don’t usually drink on the job. But when I do, I drink Steel Reserve.

Hey, there were sports yesterday. Sorry Louisville, that choke job should put you out of the tournament. Michigan is advancing, as is Wisconsin (and that should put Maryland out as well). Penn State plays Ohio State tonight and will try to beat my Buckeyes for the third time this year.  I will be displeased if that happens. Wichita State won, as did Cincy and Arizona.

On the ice, the Bruins went for the two-point conversion and put up 8 in beating the Pens. Other winners were the Hurricanes, Lightning, Panthers, the Predators, the Sharks (sorry Swissy), the Kings and the Coyotes, who beat the MINNESOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIIIILD!!!!  Congrats to the winners. Sorry, Chicago. This year is circling the drain.

OK, that ought to do it for sports.  Now how about…the links!

Beautiful, inviting Los Angeles

Want to start the links with something retarded?  Then you’re in luck! You know, when your article is filled with government interventions that either fail to solve or actually exacerbate the problem, you might want to reach a conclusion other than “the government needs to solve this”.  But expecting that from the LA Times is like expecting a pig to do algebra.

OK, this one is a bit of a dilemma for libertarians. Actually it isn’t. This is a private property rights dispute and the property owner or operator has a right to have someone removed that refuses to leave.  But we are still free to point out when that person using their rights is an asshole.  This is one of those times.

When the “we have to ban guns because they’re the only way people can carry out mass killings” narrative is disputed by reality. If only it were easy for that family to have been able to easily purchase and use a deadly weapon to defend themselves against somebody. Unfortunately for them they lived in San Francisco.

This man is a real warrior for social justice.

I need one of the Chicago Glibs to track this guy down and buy him a beer. See, this is how Americans should get involved in fighting over there, not by being shipped over as an “advisor”.

Its physical.  And educational. So why did the guy resign? Oh yeah, I guess because its not on the approved list of teacher aids. Jesus, what a bunch of prudes.

Follow up to the piece yesterday where a college baseball coach told a Colorado recruit he wasn’t interested because kids from that state hadn’t been passing drug tests: he’s been fired. Listen, if I can give any advice here to potential managers, business owners or coaches: don’t ever give anyone a reason for not hiring, recruiting or retaining them.  Always say its “for no particular reason at all” and never share anything about your reasoning with anyone else in writing. Jesus, this is elementary stuff here. Only SJW’s can hire and fire people based on political or social beliefs. That’s the way its been for decades now.

Not all power bands are created equal. This one was superior to any others I can think of.

That’s all she wrote. It was good to get back to links duty. I hope I didn’t disappoint.

Comments

632 responses to “Friday Morning Links”

  1. Sorry, Chicago. This year is circling the drain.

    Oh, we are past that – now it is time to decide…who goes, coach or GM?

    1. The answer is: yes.

    2. The Other Kevin

      How about throwing in a few expensive players who are past their prime?

      1. I don’t think there is much of a market for over the hill guys with giant contracts – part of why Bowman might have to go. He has saddled the club with payroll problems for the next 3-5 years.

        1. Rhywun

          I feel your pain. *cough* Lundqvist *cough*

          1. Private Chipperbot

            It was weird watching his twin play for Sweden in the Olympics. I knew he existed, but kept doing double takes every time they showed him on the ice.

          2. Rhywun

            I didn’t know he had one. Twins are creepy.

          3. Private Chipperbot
          4. Rhywun

            I had a good friend whose twin lived in another city. (They weren’t the “we do everything together” type.) Twin came over for a visit one day. I thought, this is easy – one is fatter, they have different hair styles – and I STILL fucked up and started talking to the twin thinking it was my friend.

            Creeeeeepy!

        2. The Other Kevin

          It’s going to take some serious creativity to fix that situation.

      2. invisible finger

        Other than Seabrook, I really don’t see any of the expensive players as past their prime that they are stuck with. (Sharp will be gone after this season.) Keith could use a few less minutes per game, but he’s still their best defenseman. Toews has been disappointing but some of that has been his linemates.

        The biggest problem I see with the Black Hawks isthey are afraid to get hit so they never skate between the faceoff dots – they wind up taking low percentage shots that are easily stopped and not enough bodies there for rebounds. Saad goes into the danger zone but he backhands everything. Second problem is the young defencemen make a lot of bad decisions and give the puck away. Murphy isn’t so bad at decision making but he loses the puck at the blue line so many times he’s just as ineffective.

  2. *grumble*

    I just want to know if carribbean countries process most of their sugar cane onshore or export the raw cane to be processed elsewhere and google wants to talk about slavery. That has nothing to do with where the cane is refined!

    1. I’d imagine most is refined locally. It’s not exactly a difficult or scientific process.

      1. I did eventually find it. The answer was “Yes, but…” with a lot of stupid tariffs and tariff waivers making a mess of things.

        1. The sugar business is the cause of a lot of govt corruption in Florida. Carl Hiaasen touched on it (hilariously) in a few of his novels.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            Sugar business also keeps a bunch of Norwegian farmers in NW Minnesoda happy growing sugar beets. Without those tariffs, there is no money in growing them.

          2. MikeS

            …and Eastern NoDak. Quit othering me!!!!

          3. Dakotain

            And not just Norwegian either. Good German farmers can lobby for the Gov’t to limit their completion too.

          4. Dakotain

            *competition dammit

          5. Bobarian LMD

            Idaho is a big producer as well.

          6. Pope Jimbo

            Sorry, I didn’t realize you NoDaks had upgraded your civilization to the Agriculture state. Thought you were still hunter gatherers competing with the Sioux for buffalo.

          7. pistoffnick

            I remember that smell. I lived in the ghetto of Moorhead when I went to NDSU, just north of the Crystal sugar plant.

          8. MikeS

            The smell of money!

        2. AlexinCT

          A few caribbean countries have government industries that do the processing locally (Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Jamaica..), but most of these suck so the bulk of any cane goes elsewhere to be processed…

    2. Florida Man

      Ive noticed google not answering the question I asked, but the question I should be asking.

      Example: Do people trust CNN?
      Google result: Donald Trump biggest liar in universe

      Example: is the new tax law permanent?
      Google result: Donald Trump’s tax law is horrible.

      1. I’ve dumped Google for searching, went over to Duck Duck Go. I do have two gmail accounts though that are too much of a pain (or I’m too lazy) to move over to another platform. My blog is also still on blogspot.

        1. Florida Man

          I’ve tried duck duck go before and was underwhelmed. Maybe I should give it another go.

          1. It ain’t perfect, nor as deep searching as Google, but it does the trick most of the time. If anyone know of a better search engine that doesn’t track then I would to know about it!

          2. Number.6

            I use DDG, but I’m also somewhat impressed with startpage.com

  3. Lachowsky

    “Seriously. Dude was 3/4 of the way through his second 42 ounces of cool, refreshing Steel Reserve when I came back from a meeting with a customer”

    Some people really know how to live…

    1. “Some men are content to settle for a forty…but when you want to drink life to the lees, Steel Reserve 42oz!”

      1. B.P.

        This one goes to 11.

    2. Yeah. That’s easily the highlight of today’s Morning Links and I haven’t even gotten to the sportz yet. Thanks for the actual picture of the dude passed out and the empty Steel Reserve pic, sloopy.

    3. Gordilocks

      I hauled a load of mangoes from Laredo back to Toronto once, and the MDMA supply ran out in Illinois.

      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      1. Festus

        I came to work at the yard once and two of my guys were sleeping in front of the gate. They got shit-faced the night before and didn’t want to ride the bus home and back. Sorry Fellers….

        1. Gordilocks

          Hangovers at work are not pleasant. But one must assess wether you’re going to become a liability or not, as is the case with Sloppy’s man here. If yer that out of it, just stay home.

          1. Lachowsky

            In my experience, coming to work hung over causes the equipment at the plant to lose its mind in the most inconvenient way possible. If I go to bed sober, get 8 hours of sleep, and come to work feeling refreshed, then I can damn near guarantee the equipment will work just fine and I will have a very trouble free day.

            If I show up hungover and feeling like crap, it’s guaranteed chaos from the moment I clock in.

          2. Yep – the last day that I worked from home because I only got 3-4 hours of sleep (thanks, Mr. Insomnia!) everything went to hell at work with a steady stream of email. It was like every problem decided to drop at once. The day after that, when I was rested? Not a peep.

          3. Festus

            This was hard, dangerous and dirty work. One of the guys was my go-to forklift man. I wasn’t happy and neither were they but…

          4. Pope Jimbo

            When I used to manage a lot of production workers, I knew – KNEW – that the second I went on vacation and could no longer access those servers remotely, that would be the time that they all went to shit. If I was in our office with a dedicated VPN into production, they’d run like a champ.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      Let’s not get too quick to bash work drinkers.

      When I was younger any time there was a school break, I would pick up as much temp work as I could to make more money. One of those temp jobs was to work in a small warehouse helping a screen printer do production runs of shirts for concerts. One day it was at least 95 outside and we were doing shirts that had that bubbly foamy shit on the shirt that had to be baked on after it was sprayed on the shirt. So it was easily over 100 in that warehouse.

      At lunch I went across the street and grabbed a 40 and drank it in my truck. When I went back the two owners came over and I thought I was totally busted. Instead they gave me a huge pat on the back and said that I was the first temp who ever came back after the lunch break. Without that beer, I would totally have been just another casualty of that trend.

      1. *remembers 122 degrees in Baghdad with 75lbs of shit hanging off him, and no beer*

        *narrows gaze*

        1. Private Chipperbot

          Sounds like the strip clubs there need to up their game.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          *rolls eyes at remembering going on 3 mile marches in MOPP3 gear in Sunny Okinawa*

          You ain’t the only one that Uncle Sam found ways to torture.

          1. Dakotain

            I’ve done both. I think the Oki humidity makes it worse.

          2. Oh yeah, I was in MOPP 4, and had to go uphill both ways! And when we finished, we had to give ourselves our own IVs!!!

            /slight exaggeration

          3. l0b0t

            … when we finished, we had to give ourselves our own IVs!!!

            Finished? Shooting up some delicious Ringer’s Lactate and hanging the bag on my ruck was the only way to finish those accursed 9th Infantry Rgt. (MANCHU) 100 mile forced marches. We were given a snazzy belt buckle and a challenge coin after each one so, a win?.

      2. pistoffnick

        In China, we were encouraged to drink beer rather than water for lunch.

  4. PieInTheSKy

    Nothing on City Arsenal?

    Also FC Hermannstadt eliminated Steaua Bucharest in Romania Cup

    1. I didn’t want to further insult Arsenhole fans.

      But I suppose I could have merely rehashed the verbiage from earlier in the week. Same teams. Same scoreline. Same everything.

      That was a straight up punking. I was pleased.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        ArsenalFanTV has been fun this week.

  5. When the “we have to ban guns because they’re the only way people can carry out mass killings” narrative is disputed by reality.

    You’re doing hammertime wrong.

      1. ….*narrows gaze*

      2. blackjack

        I think he just hit the nail on the head.

    1. AlexinCT

      I wonder if that is why we still have not heard much about the Vegas shootings. It just wouldn’t allow the gun grabbers to do the corpse raping they are doing now…

    2. Maybe the guy pleaded “Please hammer, don’t hurt ’em.”

  6. Gordilocks

    Looks like you hired one of Thad Russell’s heroes.

    #renegade

    1. Gordilocks

      Meanwhile, I drove through a snowstorm to get to work this morning.

      Geography is a bitch, Sloopy.

      1. Nephilium

        My boss texted us last night and suggested working from home today due to the shitstorm of two days of rain, switching to a good 3-5 inches of snow overnight.

        1. Five inches on the ground, less than one on the road. Our snowplow drivers must have been eager for a shot at overtime.

      2. Lachowsky

        It’s finally starting to warm up here, but damn has it been raining. It has been off and on for the past ten days. Since last week we have had 10 inches at my house. I’m normally not one to complain about rain, as we always seem to need it, but damn, I’d like to see some sunshine for awhile.

      3. We had a bit of a mix, but the alleged 4-8 inches of snow hasn’t come.

        Lots of wind, though.

        1. Desk Jockey

          Hasn’t snowed an inch at the house, but probably 4-5 inches on the ground at work. It’s a weird storm

  7. PieInTheSKy

    OK, this one is a bit of a dilemma for libertarians. Actually it isn’t. This is a private property rights dispute and the property owner or operator has a right to have someone removed that refuses to leave. But we are still free to point out when that person using their rights is an asshole. – you are not free unless you are free to be an asshole. That does not mean you should not strive not to be one.

    1. leonadasiv

      In a free country, the asshole tells you what to do on his property. In less Stan free countries, the asshole tells you what you can do on your property.

  8. PieInTheSKy

    Its physical. And educational. So why did the guy resign? – he knew his coworkers will never let him forget this?

  9. PieInTheSKy

    Long-Lost Monet, Sent Away for Safekeeping Before WWII, Found in Louvre Storage
    The painting was acquired by Japanese art collector Kōjirō​ ​Matsukata in the 1920s. It will go on view at the National Museum of Western Art in 2019

    Read more: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/long-lost-monet-discovered-storage-space-louvre-180968305/#ihtPIuAZ7JTXk4SB.99

    So it was not lost, they just didn’t remember where they put it. Happens to me all the time

    1. Did you check the back of the closet for any Van Gogh works?

      1. PieInTheSKy

        I may in fact have an original Toulouse Le Brain

        1. The lesser known brother of Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec?

        2. Pope Jimbo

          Touloose Le Brain. So what was Joe Biden doing at your house?

  10. PieInTheSKy

    Stunning. Hillary Clinton Gave Russia the US Technology for Hypersonic Intercontinental Nuke Missiles

    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2018/03/stunning-hillary-clinton-gave-russia-us-technology-hypersonic-intercontinental-nuke-missiles/

    The headline amused me

    1. Festus

      “Stunning” is how the Daily Mail usually describes some fat-assed celeb cavorting on the beach when they paid bottom dollar for the rights to the photos.

    2. You know who else worked on missile technology that ended up in Russian hands…

      1. AlexinCT

        I know these Clintons also did this one neat trick that made them a ton of money for the Chicomms back when as well…

    3. Drake

      Is that how we’ll get our uranium back?

    4. Count Potato

      “Emails show Clinton ties to Russian oligarch under investigation

      Renaissance Capital, a Russian investment bank, paid Bill Clinton $500,000 for that speech, according to his wife’s financial disclosures from 2010. The State Department had given its approval for the trip just two days after Bill Clinton’s office filed its request.

      The former president’s travel to Russia for the speech and potential meetings with Vekselberg and others came as Hillary Clinton’s State Department labored to drum up interest in a technology-sharing project, led by Vekselberg, called Skolkovo.

      Hailed as the Russian version of Silicon Valley, Skolkovo was conceived during President Obama’s “Russia Reset” as a way to attract investors to Moscow-based technology start-ups.

      Hillary Clinton, responsible for the mechanics of the Russia Reset, was tasked with finding companies to invest in and work with Skolkovo in the early months of her tenure.

      Four days after Hillary Clinton met with then-Russian President Dmitri Medvedev in March 2010, Medvedev announced that Vekselberg would head up the Skolkovo project.

      Just one day after Hillary Clinton had a private phone call with John Chambers, CEO of Cisco, Medvedev met with Cisco executives in California. That same day, Vekselberg announced that Cisco and Boeing would invest in Skolkovo.

      Both Cisco and Boeing are major Clinton Foundation donors. Cisco paid Bill Clinton $256,000 for a speech in Oct. 2010, just three months after Vekselberg’s announcement that the firm would invest $1 billion in Skolkovo.

      As Peter Schweizer, author of “Clinton Cash,” noted in his report on the technology project, 17 of the 28 companies that were ultimately listed as “key partners” in Skolkovo were also Clinton Foundation donors.

      The Clinton’s relationship to Vekselberg continued throughout Hillary Clinton’s time at the State Department.”

      http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/emails-show-clinton-ties-to-russian-oligarch-under-investigation/article/2601514

      TW: Autoplay

      Notice this is from Sep 12, 2016, before the election. But no one on TV was talking about it. Even though Clinton accused Trump of being a “puppet” of Russia during one of the debates.

      1. AlexinCT

        The scary and sad thing is that people like us pointing out the hypocrisy has not resulted in the people projecting their nefarious activities on their political rivals nor their mouthpieces in the media have not been successful at shutting this shit down. I suspect that is because the crooks and liars simply don’t care and truly believe that if they keep telling the lies with enough gusto and at an increasing tempo, the rubes will remain distracted and misinformed. I don’t expect any of these liars to feel shame or remorse, because they really don’t care how low they need to go to get their way, but I would figure by now enough people would wise up to make these tactics far less productive.

        1. Mad Scientist

          The amazing this is the supporters DON’T get their way and still rabidly support these assholes.

  11. Festus

    Back in my day we used to call them “Super Groups”. You kids, renaming everything when what came before was perfectly serviceable. Imma go suck on my belt onion juice for a bit.

    1. Yellow one, on account of the war, right?

      1. Festus

        Nope. Kept a cache of “whities” aside. I knew this day would come…

    2. Tundra

      Enjoy your Mr. Big retrospective, Festus!

      1. Festus

        I was actually referencing Blind Faith or Cream but yeah, that’s a funny!

        1. Asia, or GTFO!

          1. Count Potato

            Asia was a weird name for a band.

          2. MikeS

            Racist!!!!1!!1!

          3. I find it oddly amusing – in my aspie way – when I listen to a Japanese pressing of a Japan (the group with David Sylvian) album.

            Is there a Japanese group out there called Britain? There should be.

          4. Bobarian LMD

            Asia was terrible for being a ‘super’ group.

          5. Festus

            They took the good parts out of the bands and made slurry. I challenge you to listen to King Crimson’s “Great Deceiver” and tell me that is the same guy fronting*turns head and spits* Asia.

          6. *narrows gaze*

            Speak not ill of the dead!

          7. MikeS

            Damn Yankees, or really GTFO!

          8. Tundra

            Wrong. The correct answer is Golden Smog.

    3. CampingInYourPark

      You should have seen that time The Traveling Wilburys smashed their 5 acoustic guitars at that concert.

  12. UFO ‘evidence’: Recordings reveal air traffic control’s confusion at strange craft over Oregon

    Pilots radioed in reports of an aircraft flying outside registered flight plans. It was not responding to radio calls. It had no collision-avoidance transponders. But it was always just outside clear sight.

    On the ground, air traffic control was also seeing strange things. Its radar was intermittently tracking an unregistered object moving at unusually high speeds.

    It was cause for real concern.

    After all, 9/11 showed the potential havoc aircraft flying “dark” could achieve.

    So F-15 interceptor fighters from the U.S. Air Force were scrambled to take a look.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    But that’s what I get for hiring the degenerate son of a friend instead of a random dude with a pulse that sits in front of the nearest Home Depot.

    Whaddaya gonna do?

  14. PieInTheSKy

    Fewer high school seniors in the District are expected to receive diplomas in June than in the year before, a sharp reversal for a school system that had celebrated a 20-point increase in its graduation rate since 2011.

    Data released Thursday by D.C. Public Schools shows that 42 percent of seniors attending traditional public schools are on track to graduate, while 19 percent are considered “moderately off-track,” meaning they could still earn enough credits for a diploma.

    The likely drop in the graduation rate is the latest fallout from an investigation that cast doubt on the validity of diplomas awarded last year. The graduation rate in 2017 was 73 percent, but the probe revealed that one in three graduates received their diplomas in violation of city policy. Those students had walked across graduation stages despite missing too many classes or improperly taking makeup classes.

    Even if all of the students regarded as “moderately off-track” receive diplomas, the graduation rate would stand at about 61 percent — 12 points below last year’s.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/dc-public-schools-graduation-rate-on-track-to-decline-this-year/2018/03/01/3429790a-1cdc-11e8-b2d9-08e748f892c0_story.html

    1. “The students haven’t learned anything all year.”

      “We can get our rates up if we pass the students anyway. We’ll get our federal funds and look good. Win-Win!”

    2. PieInTheSKy

      This reminds me of when a Romanian Minister of Education implemented measures to stop fraud at the Baccalaureate which led to pass rates plummeting. He was reviled by many for destroying education of kids futures and somesuch. His political opponents said Under Funeriu graduation rates fell it is his fault, although those kids spend most of their high school under other ministers and when in fact the in past the rates were fake.

      1. AlexinCT

        And we wonder why we have so many credentialed morons constantly blundering everything that look down upon the average plebe..

    3. And they said Michelle Rhee was wrong when she said DC schools could be better.

      That should lead to the termination of every single person in that school system. But instead, it’ll lead to more money being showered on those who have done nothing but fail miserably. No wonder Obama sent his daughters to a private school.

    4. Lachowsky

      Not enough kids graduating? That’s easy. Just lower the standards and problem solved.

      1. Hey, it works for getting grant money for reduced juvenile crime rates.
        -Broward County Sheriff’s Office

        1. Festus

          Fuck me. When I went to High School the administration was doing yoeman’s work trying to weed out the undesirable kids. Fully 3/4’s of my 8th grade classmates never made it past grade eleven. Different times, I suppose, back then we could get a mill job if your Dad worked there.

      2. ruodberht

        That’s what they do. There’s no other way, because, with current standards, they probably graduate as many kids as are cognitively capable of doing so.

      3. AlexinCT

        That’s also exactly what they are doing in the military to prove how wrong people that point out a woman actually making it past the brutal physical selection process for Spec Ops MOS billets or officer training currently in place, is a pipe dream at best. If reality fights your fantasy, then force reality to conform!

    5. Lachowsky

      Related- my general critique of high school.

      High School should be difficult and should have a high failure rate. As things are now, a high school degree is mostly worthless. All it says about a person is that they attended a school long enough to pass. Passing high school is ridiculously easy. There are all kinds of remedial courses, special ed, slow learner classes. Basically, if you show up, and try just a little, the school will make sure you pass- whether you learn the material or not.

      What this system does is bring down the average amount of knowledge your average high school graduate has.

      If school were harder and more material was covered, then more people would fail, as they should. It would also make a high school diploma actually valuable and make not having one less of a problem.

      1. Festus

        When I went to High School it was ridiculously hard to pass. Of course this was a new school in a “tony” district but the kids were just as dumb as anywhere else. No semesters, eight classes over two days. That’s fine until you hit the higher grades and realize that you you have a lab and four essays due on the same day. The fact that your finals were only worth 20% of your mark was also a great big kick in the balls. Final exams, almost everyone cheated. i didn’t, but I can understand why nearly everyone else did.

      2. PieInTheSKy

        Yeah this is what I though of the Baccalaureate we have in Romania. Not everyone should pass it. The days when 90% passed the Baccalaureate were bullshit. This should be a tough exam covering a wide range of subject.

      3. MikeS

        And there should be a “trades” option like some (many?) European countries have. If you plan on going to college for medicine, law, architecture, etc., then you go to “high school” which is basically a liberal arts pre-degree.

        Or, you go to a trade school where you get the basic “3 R’s” but spend half, or more, of your day learning a trade.

        1. Lachowsky

          I went to basically a trade school when I got out of high school
          In all honesty, there is nothing I learned there that I couldn’t have been taught when I was 16 or 17.

          1. trshmnstr

            My high school had a small contingent that went to a magnet trade school for 2 or 3 days a week. By graduation, they knew the basics of welding or electrical or plumbing.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          One of the positive trends I have seen is that there are more and more “coding boot camps” out there and that people are hiring the people who go to them.

          You can teach any motivated person enough of the basics of software development in 3 to 6 months and have them be ready to join a development team as a junior member. No reason that employers should be looking to colleges for their developers.

          My sister, daughter and one of my son’s friends have all taken this route to pretty good IT jobs.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            I guess I was trying to say that a lot of IT work should be considered a trade too.

          2. MikeS

            I would agree. Our definition of “the trades” needs to be tweaked a bit. Things like coding & robotics should be added to the list of electrician, plumbing, HVAC (hi Yusef!), etc…

          3. Brett L

            That’s awesome they get hired. At least once a month I run into a young person who really wants to be a coder who can’t find anyone to hire them. And I’m not the only one. I saw a rant on Hacker News a couple weeks ago about how companies bitch about salary inflation but won’t hire junior developers.

          4. Nephilium

            I blame HR departments for that. At least some of the larger companies are getting rid of the college degree requirements.

          5. Lachowsky

            Thas exactly what’s happening right now at my plant. For the last 6 or 7 years, they went to hiring college grads only for management positiins. It didn’t work out very well. Starting a year ago, they went back to what they have always done –

            Hire some college grads and promote some people from the floor. This has been working a lot better.

          6. Pope Jimbo

            That was my son’s friend. His family is very poor, but he is a smart kid. There was no way he would ever be able to afford college today. He went to a 1 year boot camp and now he’s making a bit over $50K/yr as a 20 year old.

            What a great country.

            Any millennial kid who wants to bitch about the American dream can suck it.

          7. The Last American Hero

            The problem with coding boot camps is that:

            1) Most of the kids going are kids who have plenty of educational opportunities and already understand tech to some degree, My neighbors are mostly techies – it’s nice that Rajeesh, who makes over a quarter mill at Amazon, can send his super smart daughter to coding camp. Not that she needs it.

            2) While coding was a valuable skill to have in 1990-2010, I’m more skeptical of its value 2020-2040. Won’t it just be done by the machines or people in second world shit holes working for pennies on the dollar?

        3. Brett L

          They are turning the vocational campus down the street into me into a magnet high school for vocational “arts”. Its weird that game and computer simulation design is now a vocational career path. But I would totally have tried for that.

        4. Gadfly

          I agree with this, although I would say that the “3 Rs” should be done by the end of 8th grade* and high school/trade school should be for more specialized knowledge. Ideally, high schools and trade schools would also offer electives of classes available at the other school, so kids could decide whether to change tracks or stick with where they are.

          *By this I mean they should be literate and numerate. High school should still have higher math and reading/writing, but realistically not everyone needs to know algebra/trigonometry/calculus or how to write an essay or read dense text.

          1. MikeS

            I would agree about the 3R’s being done after 8th grade. And you’re right about the electives. They need to have a plan B so they can switch if they want. You can’t reasonably expect most 14-15 year-olds to choose their life-long career path.

          2. Number.6

            Three or four years polishing monocles or picking hemp would help them focus their minds on a career.

          3. Way to other the miner and palanquin bearer career tracks!

          4. proper palanquin bearers are not paid.

          5. trshmnstr

            You can’t reasonably expect most 14-15 year-olds to choose their life-long career path.

            sure you can.
            1)stop babying middle schoolers and make them grow up faster. How? Less classroom time, more real world exposure.
            2)give high schoolers access to real companies doing real work. Sure they won’t get paid much, but they’ll learn what it means to work a real job
            3) make it easier to switch between careers early on. Reduce the amount of up-front training required and emphasize on the job training.

          6. MikeS

            All very good points Trashy.

          7. trshmnstr

            By the way, I didn’t mean to come off combative. I’m really passionate about the intentional and orchestrated infantilization of western teenagers over the last 150 years. Some of it was good. Getting rid of married 14 Olds with a kid and a job in the coal mine was a good thing. Replacing that lifestyle with sending all 14 year Olds to something resembling prison is a bad thing.

      4. AlexinCT

        High School should be difficult and should have a high failure rate. As things are now, a high school degree is mostly worthless.

        In too many instances it amounts to nothing more than an ultra expensive baby sitting service..

        1. MikeS

          Yep. Some parents get all bent out of shape when school is called off unexpectedly and they now have to care for their child during the day.

    6. one true athena

      Good news everyone! In their never-ending quest to make California public schools even MORE terrible, Sacramento is now considering adding “ethnic studies” as a required course for graduation! Because why do we want kids to be able to read and do simple addition when they can learn about how evil white people are?

      I am so glad my son is heading to high school next year and will miss this bullshit (since it wouldn’t be implemented until 2025, even if it passes)

  15. An immigrant wouldn’t have done this…

    Cato board member faces spousal-abuse charge

    A board member at the libertarian Cato Institute is facing criminal charges of assaulting a family member in Texas, as his wife claims he held her down, choked her, head-butted her and bit her in the face, according to court documents of the May 2017 incident.

    Preston Marshall, a 44-year-old investor who was involved in high-profile lawsuits over his family’s estate with Anna Nicole Smith, pleaded not guilty to assaulting his wife. His wife, Anastasia Marshall, has initiated divorce proceedings.

    Marshall has been on the Cato board since 2012, when he was appointed with the support of Charles and David Koch, who are major Cato funders.

    Bob Levy, chairman of the board of the Cato Institute, said that “neither I nor Cato President Peter Goettler were aware of the criminal charges brought last year against Cato board member Preston Marshall” prior to an inquiry from POLITICO. “If Mr. Marshall is found guilty of these allegations, we will certainly call on him to step down from the board or, if necessary, ask the board of directors to remove him.”

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Listen, if I can give any advice here to potential managers, business owners or coaches: don’t ever give anyone a reason for not hiring, recruiting or retaining them.

    “You’re a loser, Son. Always have been, always will be. Now, get out of my office.”

    1. Spartacus

      Whenever communicating anything negative, make it as short as possible. Whatever you say or write will be used against you later, and it’s better not to provide the ammunition.

  17. But we are still free to point out when that person using their rights is an asshole. This is one of those times.

    It’s ultimately difficult to come to a conclusion on this one for me, since there isn’t information or video of the homeless dude pestering other customers by begging for money like the franchise operators claim.

    1. If he called the cops when he was in the parking lot, that’s one thing. But it sure looks like he waited until the guy was a paying customer to initiate his removal. So it looks to me like he tried to remove a paying customer rather than a panhandler.
      I’d be curious to know whether or not panhandling is legal and if it is a private or public parking lot.

      1. I get the feeling that most disputes such as this could have been entirely prevented with calm discussion and appeal to favor. Instead, the guy recording the video that bought the homeless man the meal precedes to make a gigantic scene and is shouting inside of the McDonald’s telling people that they suck. I bet if he had just taken the manager aside and said “look, I spend a lot of money here, and would you please allow this guy to eat here because I have bought him a meal, as a favor? Otherwise I may never visit this location again.” then the situation would have been resolved.

        1. *proceeds

        2. Festus

          Internet fame is the siren song. The other day my Wife got into a heated exchange about birds in the feeders. Some dumbass gainsaid her and a whole facebook kerfuffle occurred until she showed pictures of the bird and pictures from the book. People will argue about anything online. I weep for our Grandchildren.

          1. …and that is different from any number of taverns across the world how? 🙂

          2. Festus

            At least taverns are fun and you get to ogle the “gotta few miles on her” barmaid. Plus pool!

        3. The video guy seems about as stable as the homeless guy.

    2. Gadfly

      From the information provided in the article, I’d side with the employees/cop. They claim the homeless guy was pestering customers and had caused problems before. The cop was going to let him finish eating before escorting him out, and the only guy who got kicked out immediately was the abusive customer who was filming and shouting. If business owners aren’t allowed to ban/remove disruptive customers, society will be ruled by assholes (well, more so than it already is, anyway).

      1. The devil’s advocate asked: “whycome that negro is allowed at the lunch counter?”

        Society can ruled by assholes all the time.

        1. Gadfly

          The devil’s advocate asked: “whycome that negro is allowed at the lunch counter?”

          Under my view, the store owner could have the customer who asked that removed from the premises. 😀

          I get what you are saying; free association is messy and can be used by assholes for assholish ways, but universal forced association has the exact same problem. The system we have now, partial free association/partial forced association (depending on if you are a glass half-full/half-empty person), is also messy, but prevents some class based discrimination while still allowing owners to discriminate against individual assholes, like was done in this instance (assuming of course that the employee’s weren’t lying – and I’m basing my assessment of the situation on assuming all quoted persons in the article were telling the truth, to the best of their knowledge).

          1. In my view, the segregated South would have been a fantastic place to get a large cohort highly loyal black lunch counter customers, a problem that capitalism could have solved where it not for the other cohorts of mouth-breathing troglodytes that were intent on committing property crimes such as arson and having institutions protect murderers, assailants, and property criminals. Shame that assholes had to ruin free association for the rest of us.

  18. Tundra

    Some compromises have already been laid out. What’s often been missing, though, is the political courage necessary to implement them. For example, the L.A. City Council adopted an ordinance two years ago that requires homeless people to abandon their carts and put most of their possessions in storage once the government has made a storage facility available nearby. The city, however, has been able to open only two such facilities, and only one — on skid row — has available storage space. Community opposition has killed or hamstrung projects in San Pedro and Venice.

    Seriously? Ministorage for stolen shopping carts? Nice work, LA!

    1. LJW

      How long until they find a dead homeless person in one?

      1. Speaking of finding dead people.

        How about this poor woman.

        1. Festus

          I always wonder about digging up my property because the previous guy was a weirdo. Doop-dedoop-de-Doo. Gonna put a retaining wall in. Dig away. “What the fuck! A human skull?”

        2. Gadfly

          That’s horrifying. I guess that’s another downside to living alone – no one around to find you in time if you get stuck in a wall. Poor woman (and her cats) would have died of dehydration, which I’d imagine is one of the worse ways to go.

        3. Was the address 10 Rillington Place?

          1. Festus

            Another movie that gave me nightmares except I’d be the one trying to hide the bodies. The subconscious is a strange thing.

  19. Nephilium

    And REI the latest to begin a sales reduction campaign.

    Outdoor retailer REI says it’s halting future orders of some popular brands – including CamelBak water carriers, Giro helmets and Camp Chef stoves – whose parent company also makes ammunition and assault-style rifles.

    1. LJW

      I honestly think this a good thing. Let the free market decide rather than government and maybe it will shut the grabbers up for a while.

    2. LL Bean shit the bed yesterday as well.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          The gayest video ever recorded.

      1. Nephilium

        Man, it’s like you didn’t even read the link:

        The Latest: L.L. Bean raises age to 21 to buy rifles

        🙂

        1. CampingInYourPark

          Age discrimination lawsuit?

    3. Lachowsky

      I support these businesses divesting from gun makers. Let the market sort this stuff out. Seeing the market in action warms the cockles of my cold libertarian heart.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I was thinking about what the results of these decisions will be through natural market forces.

        If they’re doing this to virtue signal, they’re fools. But I find it astonishing if they did so without considering the bottom line.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Also, already large retail stores are under duress and I can’t imagine how this could help. Why drive business elsewhere?

          Same with companies like Patagonia. I find it hard to believe I’m the only one who sees that sort of stuff and decides to not hop there. It makes for decision making all the easier for me anyway. Lotsa companies sell that sorta gear. It’s not like I’m gonna miss going there for stuff. Unless they already know their demographics and it doesn’t matter.

          Same with car rental companies. Act like dips hits and insult my intelligence, I go to the competitor who was smart enough to keep their two cents to themselves.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            shop there.

            Hopping there would be too gay.

        2. Semi-Spartan Dad

          Yes, Delta’s move has already cost it $50 million.

          1. Lachowsky

            True, but I don’t like that. That was just governemnt pulling away their crony dollars. On the one hand, it’s good that some small measure of cronyism was removed. On the other hand it’s bad that governemnt is using a company’s political stances determine it’s level of cronyism.

          2. kbolino

            Not exactly. It was government pulling away its crony promise of a tax break. Delta was poised to keep $40-50 million, not receive it.

    4. Count Potato

      Someone should open a sporting goods store catering to all the customers these other stores are going to lose.

      1. PieInTheSKy

        This may be good for small independent stores.Support local business and such

        1. Lachowsky

          I saw a meme this morning. It was a guy standing behind the counter in a small gun store. Captioned-

          Bob’s LGS would like to send a thank you to Dicks, etc for supporting his local business.

      2. I just go to my local pawn shop and buy my (new) guns there. Many of them sell new as well as used and will have competitive pricing if you’re willing to ask them if they’ll sell it cheaper.
        I went and bought two carbines yesterday just so I could teach Banjos to shoot and so I’d be able to take my son to the range and eventually buy him a rifle if he likes it. The shop owner knocked $50 off when I asked him if he’d give me a deal if I bought two. You ain’t getting that at a chain store.

    5. LJW

      Just looked up CamelBaks owner Vista Outdoors. They own a lot. Federal, CCI, Savage, Bushnell. Safe to say I will never shop at REI again.

      1. Drake

        I didn’t know they were still in business.

        1. egould310

          They won’t be for long. Went into the REI in Huntington Beach two weeks ago on a Friday. The inventory was weak. The display was not appealing at all. The prices were marginally acceptable. The employees were bothersome asking me if I was finding everything/doing well.

          I had a $50 gift card from Christmas. I bought 3 pairs of Smartwool socks. Great socks.

          1. Tundra

            I’ll go in there when they send me the 20% off thing, but I buy less and less there all the time. I have a few of their sleeping bags that are awesome.

            Smartwool socks are indeed superior. Happily, they are available at many retailers not called REI!

  20. LJW


    Did These Computer Scientists Solve the Cuban Sonic Attack?

    Hey you wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

    1. SugarFree

      Someone set democraticunderground to music?

      1. Everydayfeminism-dubstep

        1. Count Potato
        2. Gadfly

          Everydayfeminism-dubstep

          If that’s not unlawful under the Geneva convention, I foresee this becoming the next big thing in the arena of “enhanced interrogation”. *shudders*

      2. “Democraticunderground…the Musical!”

        1. Festus

          “I feel Petty, Oh so Petty….’

  21. Michigan State community braces for white nationalist leader Richard Spencer

    “Talking about genocide or that some people are intrinsically more intelligent because of their race are not rational ideas to be debated,” said David Langdon, who is part of a coalition planning the protest.

    Spencer’s ideology doesn’t deserve the sort of public platform speaking at MSU affords, he said, and there are people intent on shutting the event down or preventing it from happening in the first place.

    Langdon, who was an MSU student a decade ago, expects to see a few hundred protesters.

    Shutting down the speech would be the wrong approach, said Fred Fico, a retired MSU professor and adviser to the MSU College Republicans.

    “My litmus test for Nazis – left or right – is the desire to shut down speech,” he said.

    By allowing people like Spencer to speak on campus, MSU stands as an example of what public universities should strive to be, Fico said.

    1. ”Talking about genocide or that some people are intrinsically more intelligent because of their race are not rational ideas to be debated,” said David Langdon, who is part of a coalition planning the protest.

      I agree. So then don’t debate him. Ignore him.

    2. My litmus test for Nazis

      *sigh*

      1. Festus

        He doesn’t even comprehend what an actual “litmus test” is but he’ll go ahead and use that term anyway because it it makes him feel smarterer.

      2. Too basic a test?

        1. egould310

          *squints suspiciously *

      3. Number.6

        The acid test would be more appropriate.

    3. Just Say’n

      “Spencer’s ideology doesn’t deserve the sort of public platform speaking at MSU affords”

      Spencer’s ideas absolutely need a public platform so they can be easily dismissed as shallow and vile. The more you silence him the more legitimacy you lend to his ideas

      1. Festus

        This.

      2. Most of his ideas are recycled socialist claptrap. The only thing he does different is flip the ethnicities of the people involved versus the third world shitholes who actually implemented the ideas.

        1. spqr2008

          It’s why the alt right, including Spencer, are such huge fans of Black Panther’s ethnostate system.

          1. straffinrun

            Ding, ding. Symbiotic relationship.

    4. The Last American Hero

      I attended MSU in the 90’s. We had Louis Fucking Farrahakhan come and speak. The guy who believes white people were created by an evil black scientist to be a scourge on black people. Nothing Spencer has ever said or done comes close.

      Oh, and the campus reaction consisted of a few overheated editorial letters in the student newspaper. The next day, things went back to normal.

  22. ILMOVA

    While listening to one of my playlists on Spotify this morning, this song came on and it made me think of John and his sexual preferences. And, it’s also one of the best AC/DC covers ever, enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVXKR9j0aOE

    1. I was expecting this

    2. Number.6

      No love for Bob Rivers’ cover?

    3. l0b0t

      I’m kinda partial to Steve ‘n’ Seagulls.

  23. Count Potato

    “So he sat with his mom for 20 minutes, his right leg wrapped in a cast, a splint and bloody bandages. He was still wearing a red-and-white Christmas sock someone pulled over his foot when he was rushed to a Baghdad hospital for surgery.

    He underwent several surgeries at military hospitals in Syria and Iraq before arriving at O’Hare International Airport, records show.”

    So they have government health care?

  24. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I thought it was an unwritten rule that glibs shouldn’t give interviews, anonymous or not. I’m disappointed in whichever one of you this is.

    Who is ‘time traveller’ James Oliver?
    The man who gave his name as James Oliver said a volcano underneath Yellowstone national park will devastate America.

    In a video posted online, he said: “I would be very cautious about the Yellowstone volcano.

    “As all of you know it’s overdue by about 600,000 years and an eruption that size would devastate the entire United States.

    “And the biggest issue about an eruption like this is that it will produce a massive amount of ash into the atmosphere and the way your transportation mechanisms work – if you were to drive or fly through one of these ash storms you engines will be ruined.

    “There will be no air travel the second Yellowstone erupts.”

    What reason did he give for being ‘trapped’ on Earth?
    Oliver further claimed he was trapped on Earth after the super blue blood moon interrupted a transmission on his ship.

    Further explaining his bizarre situation he added: “I’m from a planetary system that is not this one, I’m sorry I’m being very vague I cannot be specific, it’s company procedure.

    “Essentially what I am is I’m sort of like an archaeologist.

    “What had happened was the geological event had disrupted the signal somehow and I got backchannels flooding into my system from outside sources and it essentially fried the operating system of my ship, which means that I am stuck here until another research team lands on this planet.

    “I could be here a few more days, I could be here a few more years, decades, centuries.

    “I really don’t know. I haven’t gone much into the future from here.”

    1. Just Say’n

      Who’s talking about the volcano under Yellowstone? I thought we agreed not to discuss that with outsiders?

      1. Xenu comin’ to getcha!!!

        1. Just Say’n

          I’m not falling for his old ‘tax audit’ scam again

    2. Gadfly

      Who is ‘time traveller’ James Oliver?

      Someone should ask John Titor. I’d bet he’d know.

      1. First rule of Time Travel Club…don’t acknowledge other time travelers!

  25. The Late P Brooks

    The increasing visibility of homelessness and destitution contributes to the uneasy feeling that the problem is closing in on everyone. It’s also a daily reminder that the values and systems to which we cling — liberty, democracy, free enterprise, the social contract that’s supposed to hold a community together, the safety net that is supposed to protect the most vulnerable — haven’t steered us out of this mess. Nor have our leaders.

    It’s all so baffling. We try and try and try to help, but things just get worse. I guess we’ll just have to double down, and try even harder.

    1. PieInTheSKy

      Just put all the homeless in jail problem solved.

    2. one true athena

      “free enterprise” they say while the gov’t shuts down every single free enterprise attempt to DO something. There’s been at least two I know of, which means there are more that don’t even get off the ground before some bureaucrat wags his finger.

  26. PieInTheSKy

    I Built a Stable Planetary System with 416 Planets in the Habitable Zone

    http://nautil.us/blog/-i-built-a-stable-planetary-system-with-416-planets-in-the-habitable-zone

    1. robc

      Seems like a Dyson Sphere would be easier and more stable.

      Or a ringworld (with attitude jets for stability).

  27. robc

    GT beat NCSU last night to break a 7 game losing streak!

    With a win over Wake this weekend, we will wrap up the 13 seed in the ACC tourney (with a loss, Wake will get the 13 and we will be 14).

    /I miss Bobby Cremins

  28. Women Regret Casual Sex They’ve Had, Men Regret Sex They’ve Passed Up
    Compared to men, women rated their most recent casual sex experience as less physically gratifying and more disgusting.

    There was one predictor of regret that differed between men and women, though, which was taking the initiative to have casual sex. When women initiated casual sex, they were less likely to regret it. However, taking the initiative was unrelated to whether men had regrets.

    This initiative finding is interesting and worthy of further study. Could it be that when women take the initiative, it means that they find their partners to be more desirable? Alternatively, perhaps this finding simply reflects the standard sexual script that prioritizes male over female pleasure, which makes it harder for women to say no to casual sex.

    It’s important to note that this research didn’t take into account all possible reasons that people might regret casual sex. For example, self-esteem as well as alcohol and drug use are probably relevant, too. It’s also possible that the factors that lead to sexual regret differ at different stages of life.

    STEVE SMITH HAS NO REGRETS. NEVER PASSED ON OPPORTUNITY. KEY TO SUCCESS.

    1. spqr2008

      In other words, water is wet, and evolutionary psychology impacts most people.

    2. SugarFree

      This initiative finding is interesting and worthy of further study. Could it be that when women take the initiative, it means that they find their partners to be more desirable? Alternatively, perhaps this finding simply reflects the standard sexual script that prioritizes male over female pleasure, which makes it harder for women to say no to casual sex.

      Stick to the narrative. Don’t even consider the glaringly obvious conclusion that maybe–on average–men enjoy sex more than women do.

      1. Festus

        Riddle me this. Back in my free-wheeling days, I would always get lucky after a night of getting lucky. Pheromones? Yeah, sure, we’re all rational beings bouncing around like fucking ambulatory roombas.

        1. SugarFree

          Confidence and the lack of pent-up desire. There’s nothing women hate more than the stench of loneliness and need.

      2. “on average–men enjoy *unattached* sex more than women do”

        FIFY. In my experience, once a woman gets into a relationship and unleashes the inner eros, they can be fairly insatiable. They’re just more protective of it due to gender imbalances in cost-benefit ratio to casual sex; at least perceived cost-benefit ratio prior to when the Pill turned everything sideways.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      more disgusting

      If your review of your own sex includes degrees of disgusting, maybe you need to sit back and reflect on things.

      1. Festus

        STEVE SMITH SAY “SOMETIMES SHAG IS JUST SHAG!”

  29. Rufus the Monocled

    I agree about the the Good Samaritan guy being kicked out at the McDonald’s in South Caroilna. There was a bit of a backstory and getting management and the cop’s case in this one is a stretch I think. Even the guy says so as disclosed at the end of the article. Soooo, not sure why this is a story.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Apparently, there will be multiple school walkouts to protest teh evil gunz, today. Because the precious little childrunz shall lead the way.

    I hope a few of the little puppets get hit by cars.

    1. Bob Boberson

      I hope they organize a children’s crusade to handle confiscation when the time comes around. My welcome mat will have a trap door that drops them straight into my orphan mines.

  31. Mustang

    Here I am still commenting on the last post like a sucker…crap. Can I get some leeway for being OT if I’m still reading yesterday’s stuff in a very different time zone?

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Just put all the homeless in jail problem solved.

    “Are there no poorhouses?”

  33. Lachowsky

    http://5newsonline.com/2018/03/02/wreck-at-massard-road-zero-street-shuts-down-traffic/

    Well shit. I had to take a detour on my way to work this morning as the police had my normal route blocked off. I was wondering what happened.

    1. NOTHING TO SEE HERE, CIVILIAN…MOVE ALONG!

    2. gbob

      Must have been serious. Perhaps a guy catcalled a woman, or misgendered somebody. I doubt it was a case of mansplaining, otherwise you would have seen helicopters.

  34. 45 Arrests Made in SC Sex Crimes Sting
    Investigators posed as 14-year-olds in online chats to lure predators to a home where instead of engaging in sex, they were met with handcuffs.

    “They are still out there. They are still looking for your kids,” Lewis said. “This was to target and identify sex predators preying on the youth of our community.”

    Lewis said the circumstances of each case were painful to learn.

    In one case, a man carrying a sexually-transmitted disease was specifically looking to transfer his disease to a 14-year-old.

    “He wanted to ruin a child’s life,” Lewis said. “He wanted to actually give a child a disease.”

    Another case involved a suspect who wanted to cannibalize the victim, Lewis said.

    Is it time for a moral panic? Why yes it is.

    1. LJW

      Nice they mixed it in with a prostitution sting to make it look like 45 people were arrested for attempted child exploitation. Judging on the mugshots a good portion were probably arrested for adult level victimless prostitution.

      1. commodious spittoon

        It’s not victimless. The ONLY reason a woman would choose to engage in sex work is because she’s too stupid to know what’s good for her. We must empower women to avoid sex work by locking them up and publishing all the intimate details in connection with their sordid crimes, for their own good. Women must be protected from themselves so they’ll understand how strong and empowered they are.

  35. ILMOVA

    As a University of Illinois fan (yes, I have suffered for years and fuck North Carolina and Sean May and Roy Williams hard), I can safely say that having the Big Ten Conference men’s basketball tournament in NYC this week is quite possibly one of the dumbest things the conference has ever done, other than letting Rutgers in. I get it, the Big Ten folks wanted that sweet, sweet NYC area cash but c’mon guys, talk about a shitty sports school (other than women’s basketball and lacrosse). Maryland I kind of understand, but they should still be in the ACC, in my opinion. Anyway, please move the Big Ten tournament back to Indianapolis or Chicago next year and keep it that way.

    1. Just Say’n

      Eh, the only college sport that truly captures my interest (besides football) is women’s volleyball.

      1. LJW

        From the waist down?

        1. Just Say’n

          Those spandex shorts make any woman’s ass look finely sculpted

          1. +1 camel toe

    2. Jim Delaney already said “Yeah, I fucked up”. Too late for this year.

    3. Creosote Achilles

      As a Tar Heel: ahahahahahahaa.

      On the topic of Maryland in the ACC: No. We don’t want them. We don’t need them. y’all are welcome to them.

      1. ahahahahahahaa

        Was that the entirety of a Tar Heel athlete’s final semester paper?

    4. Winded

      You’ll have your wish, for the next four years anyway. The tournament is back in Chicago next year and 2021, Indianapolis in 2020 and 2022.

    5. trshmnstr

      Boot buttgers, bring in ND or Kansas or Iowa State or something.

      1. I wouldn’t take Notre Dame if they came with a wagon load of gold.

        1. trshmnstr

          I would, if only to see Ohio state, Penn state wisky, SMU, and Michigan peel that smug gold paint off their smug golden domes.

          1. trshmnstr

            MSU *

  36. PieInTheSKy

    Sexual assault via social media emerging as new threat; Knox man second to be charged

    https://www.knoxnews.com/story/news/crime/2018/02/28/sexual-assault-via-social-media-emerging-new-threat-knox-man-second-charged/376592002/

    A new form of rape is emerging in the digital age in East Tennessee – social media threats as weapons to force victims to submit to sexual demands.

    One should not throw the word rape around so lightly. Also if it is about threats, social media has nothing to do with it. If it was via telegraph or twitter is not the point

    1. Just Say’n

      I don’t know. Clearly extortion is a crime, but these women sound awfully naive. It reminds me of ‘revenge porn’- there would be no problem if people were wise enough not to share naked pictures with random flings or in short-term relationships. At some point common sense needs to be considered.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Weather update- the winter storm which was supposed to go through here last night has been unavoidably detained. I’d like to believe it made a wrong turn and ended up in Utah, but I’d just be fooling myself. Hopefully most of the moisture gets wrung out of it in Idaho.

    1. Drake

      The rain that was supposed to hit northwest New Jersey decided to be all snow – so we’re getting a foot today.

  38. Evan from Evansville

    Rant time.

    End of semester. Which for me entails writing a summary of every one of my 220ish students. Fun. One of whom, Ryan, I gave a professional but very rough assessment of. He’s a goof and absolutely cannot control himself in class. Ten years old and will hide under the desk for minutes at a time, unresponsive, constantly disrupts the class to the point where *other ten year olds* loudly admonish him for being such a fuck. He has wasted 30 out of 50 minutes of class time on multiple occasions.

    Mother writes back and tells me that it’s my fault, not her kid’s, because I don’t make the class enjoyable or “comfortable” enough. I am a very playful teacher (one has to be to teach ESL) and I make damn sure that class is comfortable. I would say it’s actually my biggest fault, that I’m not strict enough. I sympathize with Korean kids and go out of my way not to get Boss involved when I have problems with students.

    I thought I was reading a note from a different Ryan’s mother. When I found out it was this one Ryan instead, I fucking flipped. Bitch has the audacity to blame me, who sees her kid for 50 minutes a week, for her son’s completely shitty behavior and his detriment to the rest of the class.

    Fuck you, you fucking cunt. Raise your fucking child properly and maybe he won’t be such a fucking lubeless assfuck in my fucking neck. “There is no impossible,” she wrote. Fuck. You. For raising such shitspawn that the other kids actively cheer when he’s absent and hit him in the head on their own accord when he fucks off and up. Short of tying him to the chair, ballgagging him or beating him with a fucking can of corn in a fucking sock, I have no fucking effective recourse in educating your burst-condom-pregnancy or misguided aborted decision to *not* get an abortion so that little fuck could walk in and (briefly) take a fucking seat in my fucking classroom with the other fucking kids who know how to fucking behave like proper fucking children.

    Fuck. Off. You. Fucking. Cunt.

    I hope everybody else has a lovely day at work, and I’m thrilled for mine to be in the rearview mirror.

    1. Tell us how you really feel.

    2. Just Say’n

      “Mother writes back and tells me that it’s my fault, not her kid’s, because I don’t make the class enjoyable or “comfortable” enough.”

      What has happened to ‘shame’ in our society?

      1. commodious spittoon

        This being Korea, what happened to shame in Korean society? I thought all those slant-eye countries run on shame and rice.

    3. Bob Boberson

      Out-of-control little monster has a parent incapable of accepting responsibility and blames someone else for their own shortcomings……

      color me shocked!

      1. Bob Boberson

        Incidentally is this child Korean or a military brat?

        1. Evan from Evansville

          I only teach Koreans.

          1. Count Potato

            Lacist!!

          2. Bob Boberson

            Oh ok, the western name threw me off. Frankly it challenges my stereotype of Asians being hardcore about educational discipline.

          3. Gadfly

            Frankly it challenges my stereotype of Asians being hardcore about educational discipline.

            Your stereotype is safe: Evan’s rant mentioned that the other 10-yo kids were attempting to administer discipline and were scorning his bad behavior.

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Judging by her reaction to his bad behavior it’s easy to see who’s really to blame here. Hint: it ain’t you.

      1. Evan from Evansville

        Of course not.

        1. Teaching, especially here, is a pretty cake gig. I’m good at it, get paid pretty well, and most of the time I enjoy it. But it can be really rough when you get bad kids. I can’t imagine teaching in the States. No joke, without the ability to physically punish a kid, I’m not sure how you get certain shit done. I can’t *make* him sit in his chair. I can’t *stop* him from hiding under the desk.

        2. I’m a very chill dude. Too chill. Anger isn’t an emotion that I know how to process. BUT–if I fuck up I will deal with the consequences. I absolutely cannot stand being blamed for shit that I had no part in fucking up. Blame me if I’m wrong. If I’m wrongly maligned I get real angry real quick.

        1. Gadfly

          But it can be really rough when you get bad kids. I can’t imagine teaching in the States. No joke, without the ability to physically punish a kid, I’m not sure how you get certain shit done.

          I can sympathize. Having substitute taught in the US in the past (including for a long term stint where I was basically the teacher), I can admit there were times when I pined for the days that it was socially acceptable for a teacher to administer punishment with a ruler. The best you can do is kick a kid out of class, but of course you can’t mark down their grades for disruption because that would be unfair.

    5. Semi-Spartan Dad

      Damn, that doesn’t sound like much fun.

      Once upon a time I was subbing in a middle school. I had this disruptive kid acting the same way you described. I tell him to calm his ass down. He pulls out an official card to show me that says he’s getting angry and is allowed to leave the classroom to calm down. The teacher’s assistant told me it was legit and provided by the school. Basically a get out of class free card, to use anytime, because of feelz.

      What? Seriously?

    6. This is one of the reasons my wife left teaching. In the worst cases, you’re a free babysitter and therapist for kids whose parents can’t be bothered. If you do an incredible job, nobody says shit, and if you come anywhere short of that parents who should be locked up are bitching you out. It’s a thankless job for the good ones and a sinecure for the bad ones.

    7. Lachowsky

      Schools should be able to fail students like this. It’s not doing the kid any good to be in the class and the other kids are harmed by his presence.

  39. Chipwooder

    That UVA ending, man, that was nuts. I’ve never seen a team win a game where they were down 4 points with less than one second on the clock. Louisville couldn’t have been trying to throw the game and have it come out that way. Hopefully that’s an omen that it’s our year.

    1. Viking1865

      Hahaha you poor dumb bastard, we’re gonna be the first 1 seed to lose to a 16th seed.

  40. Tundra

    This week in ‘solutions in search of a problem’:

    MIT’s robotic carpenters help you create your own furniture

    “Our aim is to democratize furniture customization,” study co-lead Adriana Schulz said. “We’re trying to open up a realm of opportunities so users aren’t bound to what they’ve bought at Ikea. Instead, they can make what best fits their needs.”

    Ah, I get it. There is only one place in the whole wide world to get furniture. Thanks goodness for the brilliant minds at MIT!

    Oh, and these Real Geniuses should research the industry. It’s already highly automated – basically shove a tree in one end and furniture comes out the other. But, hey, nice job on those straight cuts with a scary chop saw!

    1. CampingInYourPark

      Doesn’t seem like such a crazy idea to me if it’s not too expensive. I could see the advantage of ordering custom pieces cut to size for a project instead of having to buy and maintain tools that don’t get used very often. Sounds sort of like your local metal fab shop for wood.

      1. Tundra

        I guess the ‘democratization’ of something that is already readily available cracked me up more than anything. Jump on craigslist and I’ll bet you can find a dozen places in your area that will build you whatever the fuck you want.

        1. CampingInYourPark

          Yeah, “democratization” doesn’t seem anything like what they’re actually trying to accomplish.

        2. CampingInYourPark

          Yeah, I realize people can be found to build custom furniture. I think the difference here is that the robot in the piece is for making parts for a project that you subsequently assemble yourself. One of the better examples is a deck project. I can see the usefulness of being able to order all the boards, posts and railing cut to size. As for furniture, like you, I’m not so convinces it’s something that useful for most people.

  41. Drake

    Florida school shooter’s AR-15 may have jammed, saving lives, report says

    Well I’m sure the media won’t let that screw up the narrative. I found the M16A2 Uncle Sam loaned me to be an unreliable piece of shit, particularly when dirty. Sounds like this kid didn’t know how to maintain the thing.

    1. straffinrun

      As far as I’m concerned, the government fucked up and proved that they can’t protected anyone from being murdered despite being hand all the evidence they needed on a silver plate. The details are just gravy.

    2. My SKS has never jammed. Russian machine never break. Granted, I’ve never known anyone to have an AR jam, but I like to further the myth.

      1. Jams come in multiple flavors. Just compare a feed jam to a stovepipe jam. All you need for the later is something in the way of the ejection port.

        Funnily enough, I first learned about a stovepipe jam from the Bank of America shootout where one of the robbers’ Kalashnikovs was stopped by one. Dumbass didn’t know how to clear what might be the easist jam to fix.

      2. Bob Boberson

        Same for my AK, thousands of rounds and the only malfunction i’ve ever had was failure to feed (which was a mag problem). They may not be pretty but they work.

      3. IN SOVIET RUSSIA, SKS JAM YOU!

    3. Chipwooder

      Cruz went in with only 10-round magazines because larger clips would not fit in his duffel bag, Book said.

      What?? A standard 30 round magazine can’t fit into a duffel bag? Since when?

      Must have gotten his mags from the piece of shit ones at the Camp Hansen range. I can’t count how many misfeeds and jams I had there.

      1. EvilSheldon

        I’m sure that this is going to come down to some dumbass reporter misinterpreting something. Ten-round AR magazines are actually kind of hard to find, and 30s are everywhere.

        As for the malfunctions, I’m not surprised. Low-end AR, probably no lube on the important bits, and it wouldn’t surprise me if his magazines were ProMags or some similar trash.

        Then again, he could have just run out of ammo and been fumbling around trying to get a fresh magazine in. ARs aren’t super easy to reload, and I don’t see anything that indicates that dickhead had put in a lot of practice.

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Ten round mags, all anyone needs really, will help to fix that problem.

      1. See post 49.

    5. LJW

      In my early days of learning to shoot after jamming an AR an instructor suggested loading a few less rounds than the max capacity of the magazine. Haven’t had an issue since. Dunno if that was good advice, or I’m lucky.

      1. That’s good advice. I typically only load 27 or 28 for exactly this reason.

  42. Count Potato

    “A golden statue of a bathrobe-clad Harvey Weinstein, seated regally atop a couch with an Oscar in hand has taken up temporary sidewalk residence close to the site of Sunday’s Academy Awards.

    Casting Couch is a collaborative work between a Los Angeles street artist known as Plastic Jesus and Joshua ‘Ginger’ Monroe, designer of 2016’s nude Donald Trump statues placed in major US cities.

    The life-sized Weinstein sculpture, displayed Thursday on Hollywood Boulevard near the Kodak Theater, aims to spotlight the entertainment industry’s sexual misconduct crisis and the disgraced studio mogul’s role in it, Plastic Jesus said.”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5452275/Harvey-Weinstein-Casting-Couch-statue-debuts-pre-Oscars.html

    1. Count Potato

      “The Weinstein Company is SOLD: Billionaire-backed investment group reaches a deal to buy firm which will relaunch under a new name ‘with an all-female board’

      A former official in the Barack Obama administration said Thursday she had reached a deal to buy assets from Harvey Weinstein’s former company to launch a new firm after the Hollywood mogul’s downfall for alleged sexual misconduct.

      Maria Contreras-Sweet said the deal had been reached with the New York state attorney general’s office, which last month sued The Weinstein Company fearing that its imminent sale could leave victims of his alleged sexual misconduct without adequate redress.

      ‘Our team is pleased to announce that we have taken an important step and have reached an agreement to purchase assets from The Weinstein Company in order to launch a new company,’ Contreras-Sweet, who served as Administrator of the Small Business Administration under Obama, said in a statement.

      The team will be led by billionaire Ron Burkle and Contreras-Sweet.

      Contreras-Sweet said that the ‘cornerstone of our plan has been to launch a new company that represents the best practices in corporate governance and transparency’.

      ‘This next step represents the best possible pathway to support victims and protect employees.’

      Contreras-Sweet said her intention was to ‘build a movie studio led by a board of directors made up of a majority of independent women, save about 150 jobs, protect the small businesses who are owed money and create a victims’ compensation fund.’

      The Weinstein Company had been close to sealing a deal with an investor group led by Contreras-Sweet last month until New York’s attorney general Eric Schneiderman launched legal action and imposed various principles on any sale going forward.”

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5452477/Investor-says-deal-reached-Weinstein-Company-assets.html

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        And then history repeats itself – this time with women!

      2. Private Chipperbot

        ‘build a movie studio led by a board of directors made up of a majority of independent women, save about 150 jobs, protect the small businesses who are owed money and create a victims’ compensation fund.’

        I don’t notice any mention of good movies or profits there.

  43. Biggest ever family tree shows when cousins stopped having sex

    It was thought that people in the west stopped marrying their close relatives in the 19th century, because improved transport meant that people were born further away from their families. But the family tree proved otherwise.

    “Even though people started to be born further away from their families during the early 19th century, they were still marrying cousins for 50 years,” says Kaplanis. It seems the eventual decrease in inbreeding was more to do with cultural influences. “It just became less socially acceptable.”

    Jebediah Springfield: I was- wha… what are you talking about, Shelbyville? Why would we want to marry our cousins?

    Shelbyville Manhattan: Because they’re so attractive. I… I thought that was the whole point of this journey.

    1. Chipwooder

      There are a few first-cousin marriages in my family tree. Hey, it was rural Georgia of the late 18th and 19th centuries – EVERYONE WAS DOING IT!!!!

  44. In honor of the teaser photo:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autocunnilingus

    I doubt any of these ladies can do it, but that doesn’t make them any less alluring.

    http://archive.is/Bt4pz

    9, 12, 22, 24, 28, 38, 40, 41, 48, 57, 60, 66, 70, 76

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      For those of you who prefer someone a little more svelte, you’re welcome.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nothing against Q and his busty beauties, but different strokes for different folks.

        1. I’m not complaining, plenty of room for more cheesecake on this board.

          Would, in spite of itty bitty titties.

      2. straffinrun

        Did you just step on Q’s toes? Elbows thrown.

      3. +1, gaudy room furnishings

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Makes me want to put on my powdered wig and jump the queen.

          1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            It’s good to be the king.

      4. Evan from Evansville

        That’s just Taylor Swift as a brunette!

        Wood with prejudice.

        1. Festus

          “It’s a big old world”.

        2. Evan, any recommendations on day trip type destinations to visit in South Korea within “bullet train” of Seoul? We’re taking my dad to Asia for his first time this summer and it’ll be my first trip to South Korea. Thanks.

          1. That movie was great.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            LOL. I enjoyed the Korean take on the zombie apocalypse.

  45. OT: Our office is closed due to…wait for it…high winds. Now it’s like a race to get drunk.

    1. Nephilium

      Things that I’ll be glad that I won’t have to deal with next week (hopefully). People who have been working on the service desk for years who still don’t know what the fuck a MAC address is.

      1. Nephilium

        And Gilmore’d… *sigh*

        1. It’s the gusty winds. Blew your reply right over here.

          Seriously, though, it sounds like a passenger jet is doing flybys of the house.

    2. spqr2008

      Literally watched a sign in a Wal-Mart Parking lot fly by some guy’s car last night, and almost hit a cart pusher, who just picked it up and took it in. Cool customer there.

    3. Tulip

      Power keeps flickering here. I walk the dog in rain, snow, ice, thunderstorms, dark of night, etc. This morning I made her run around the backyard. Didn’t want get hit by flying shingles or have an old tree fall on us. There are a lot of old trees in my neighborhood. Lots of stuff blown around so far. How hard is it for people to secure their trash cans and pick up the yard! Smdh.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Ten years old and will hide under the desk for minutes at a time, unresponsive, constantly disrupts the class to the point where *other ten year olds* loudly admonish him for being such a fuck. He has wasted 30 out of 50 minutes of class time on multiple occasions.

    Are dunce hats a permissible learning tool in Korea?

    1. Festus

      A trip North for a day or two seems more appropriate.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    A former official in the Barack Obama administration said Thursday she had reached a deal to buy assets from Harvey Weinstein’s former company to launch a new firm after the Hollywood mogul’s downfall for alleged sexual misconduct.

    And some people spend fifty million bucks on a birthday party for themselves.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    Maria Contreras-Sweet said the deal had been reached with the New York state attorney general’s office, which last month sued The Weinstein Company fearing that its imminent sale could leave victims of his alleged sexual misconduct without adequate redress.

    WUT?

    1. Tundra

      Critics of high capacity magazines have said the gun jamming is a reason to ban large magazines because a jam would have stopped the shooting if the gunman had used long rounds of ammunition where he did not have to reload. The Parkland shooter used only smaller magazines, however.

      That’s your strategy?? Hope the motherfucking gun jams?

      Yeah, no. I’m still gonna go with eliminating gun-free zones.

      1. The Other Kevin

        I was ranting about this yesterday. I think we’re arguing past the point. I don’t think anyone would be patting themselves on the back if the guy had killed 7 kids instead of 17. We should be looking into motivation, and adding simple deterrents, and not just reducing the number of bullets a guy can fire.

        Also, on that note, I would argue that although a military-style rifle might look cool, it’s likely to jam if you put a lot of rounds through it in a short time. If they are banned, the next shooter might accidentally stumble upon something more effective, like using several handguns.

        1. My Mini-14 is probably the reliable gun I own. And it’s not “scary looking”.

        2. The Other Kevin

          Your Mini-14 probably has a wooden stock, which makes it fire smaller bullets, less rapidly.

          1. Yes, it is cute and cuddly and could never, ever be used to kill anyone; unlike my AR-15 which is evil and scary.

            (in spite of them both firing the same ammunition, at potentially the same rate, with the same sized magazines)

        3. commodious spittoon

          The Virginia Tech shooter did exactly that, iirc.

        4. Number.6

          Well, that’ll be one outcome if teachers are permitted to carry.

          If I’m inside a building where I want to shoot people AND have to deal with an unknown number of armed, but probably not highly proficient teachers, I’d discard any idea of using a rifle.

      2. Gadfly

        Yeah, no. I’m still gonna go with eliminating gun-free zones.

        I think that should be amended to “Eliminate unsecured gun-free zones”. I think a gun-free zone is fine if the perimeter is secured and all entrances have a weapons check. Short of that, you’re not really serious about having a gun-free zone and so should allow people to protect themselves by being armed.

      3. thepasswordispassword

        So what you’r saying is that they should encourage people to buy ARs instead of literally any other system.

    2. straffinrun

      I thought the talking point was high velocity ammo not high capacity magazines. *Hurls magazine at high velocity at computer screen*

    3. Count Potato

      Neither did Columbine, Virginia Tech, etc. Didn’t that asshole in Norway use a regular bolt-action rifle?

      1. Drake

        I thought he dressed up like a cop and shot them with semi-auto pistol?

        1. Number.6

          Breivik? He had a Glock 34 and a Ruger Mini-14.

          He also had a little appetizer of a bomb made from ANFO outside the Prime Ministser’s office.

          Guy may have been nuttier than a giant squirrel’s poop, but he was certainly a subject matter expert.

          1. Drake

            A Glock 34 can pass for a cop gun in a holster.

          2. Number.6

            Yeah, but from what I remember, most of the time he was picking people off at the beach from rifle distance. I mean, he may ALSO have been dressed as a cop … but I think most of the victims were long-gunned.

          3. “but I think most of the victims were long-gunned”

            Are we talking about Peter North here?

          4. Drake

            I think his gimmick was to shoot some with the rifle. When the rest hid from the shooter, he’d show up like a cop come to refuse them. Thinking he was the police, they came out of hiding and ran towards him – then he gunned them down with the pistol.

          5. Bobarian LMD

            Are we talking about Peter North here?

            +A lot of messy shots.

      2. Chipwooder

        I can’t remember who it was (not Breivik), but somewhere overseas there was a massacre where 10+ were killed with a bolt action rifle.

        Charles Whitman didn’t have any scary black rifles: a 12 gauge, 6mm Remington 700, M1 .30 carbine, Remington Model 141 .35 pump action rifle, .357 magnum revolver, 9mm Luger

  49. straffinrun

    “That was kind of my welcome back to the U.S.,” he said. “‘We think you’re a terrorist.’ I’m like, ‘No, no, no, no, no. I was fighting the terrorists.’’’

    Divest from the NRA or GTFO.

    1. Lachowsky

      We’re all terrorists now.

  50. Ohmahgerd vaping kills

    In July 2017, the National Fire Data Center of the U.S. Fire Administration identified 195 separate e-cigarette incidents in the United States between January 2009 and 31 December 2016. Thirty-eight incidents resulted in third-degree burns, facial injuries, or the loss of a body part. The number of fires and explosions has risen in tandem with the rise in e-cigarette sales. The report also notes the lack of regulations, codes, or laws governing the safety of the batteries in e-cigarettes. And there’s reason to believe that many cases of injury are never registered with government authorities. An online blog asserts that at least 243 e-cigarette explosions occurred from August 2009 to April 2017, resulting in 158 personal injuries. Other explosions harmed animals or property.

    So….about 25 reported incidents in a year.

    In the absence of laws or regulations on e-cigarettes, legal liability may be the best way to apply pressure to makers. Already, courts have made decisions holding companies supplying e-cigarettes accountable for defective batteries. For example, in 2013 Jennifer Ries was charging her e-cigarette using the USB port in her car when the Li-ion battery exploded, giving her second-degree burns. A jury for the State Court of Southern California ruled against the e-cigarette company and awarded Ries $1.9 million for her injuries.

    Sounds like tort is doing its job just fine, though $1.9mm for “second-degree burns on her legs, buttocks and hand” is a pretty substantial payday. I’m sure that she will be able to salve the physical and emotional scars with such an award.

    So thanks IEEE for the article about thermal runaway.

    1. MikeS

      So….about 25 reported incidents in a year.

      And only about 5 of those “resulted in third-degree burns, facial injuries, or the loss of a body part.” I bet curling irons have a worse injury rate.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      How many of these are due to people bypassing safety mechanisms and upping the wattage to levels they weren’t designed for? Regardless, still safer than a smoldering stick.

    3. Count Potato

      Sound like we need to ban batteries.

      1. Women with vibrators across the world weep.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Not Amish women with vibrators.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Hand churned butter.

    1. straffinrun

      Since I’m not going to subscribe, another mad lib: “‘Make sure to check in with us!” one friend told me. “Try not to get killed,” another warned. I wasn’t off to a war zone or a spy mission in Moscow. I was riding a bus from New York to Washington to attend the Conservative Political Action Conference. Upon reaching the conference, I immediately _________________my _______________and __________________.”

      1. “Discarded” “Hillary Shirt” “Cheered”

        1. “Discarded” “Hillary Shirt” “Bounced Dem Titties”

        1. straffinrun

          To be sure, I’m a tiny, talkative South Asian woman who spent four months on Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign staff.

          Yeah, that didn’t start off any better.

        2. Idle Hands

          “At Hillary rallies, we always filled the stands with our biggest supporters. At CPAC, most of the few liberals in attendance had media credentials, as I did. I’m new to this, but shouldn’t we want to engage with people who aren’t convinced of our viewpoints? Why aren’t there more conservatives at Democratic rallies and more liberals at CPAC? What are we afraid of?”

          While there are terrible assholes on both sides, I find the average conservatives far more receptive to a political disagreement and less prone to having a major temper tantrum when someone disagrees with them over politics. I’ve actually never seen a conservative lose it for a disagreement in real life(social media is a different matter) while I’ve seen several liberals get so incensed they were brought to tears or have to walk away for fear of engaging in violence.

          1. I typically think that this is because prog/libs don’t arrive at their conclusions through reason, but through feelz. Couple that with the fact that politics usually become a pseudo-religion to them, they take any criticism of their ideas as a personal attack/blasphemy against their idol.

          2. spqr2008

            And it is terribly uncomfortable and unsettling to emotionally stable people for a grown person, or a peer group person, to break down and cry due to a disagreement. Humans are social animals, and it is an evolutionary and social behavior to get along. And given conservatives are more likely to be for emotional stability and keeping the status quo, those kinds of emotional outbursts, that are rather childish, make conservatives much more uncomfortable.

          3. Viking1865

            “Couple that with the fact that politics usually become a pseudo-religion to them,”

            Yep. I think the religous impulse is damn near universal. The average prog replaces worship of almighty God with the State. They’ve got a whole secular religion. The State is the Lord, the various leftist pols are the prophets, they’ve got their devils and sins and churches and indulgences.

          4. Leftists are activists. Most leftist ideologies are revolutionary, or have revolution in their DNA somewhere. Conservatives, by definition, are retrograde or perceive themselves to be. Leftists want to change the status quo and shake things up, conservatives want to slow change and restore an earlier state of affairs. The one lends itself to hostility and contention, the other lends itself to calm discussion.

          5. Bob Boberson

            I’d also add that they are collectivists that believe utopia is just out of reach if it we’re for the wreckers in society. They see dissenters as barring everyone else from the gates of heaven.

          6. Nephilium

            I seem to remember Marc Randazza writing a series of pieces for Popehat where he went to both the Republican and Democratic caucus in Nevada (previous to the last presidential election). Although he tends towards the left (on most things but free speech), he admitted that he preferred the company of the Republicans then the Democrats.

          7. Nephilium

            And I found it. That’s a link to part 1 of 3.

          8. The Last American Hero

            You apparently haven’t dared to criticize law enforcement in front of a conservative.

    2. Festus

      Donnie Tumbler aside, is it any wonder why these people keep losing and losing and losing? They’re acting like the republicans are tearing their Leif Garrett posters off the walls just to spite them.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        A Leif Garrett reference? Good job.

    3. Idle Hands

      Why can’t we just all get along?

  51. They told me if Trump were elected segregation would be reinstated and they were right!

    https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=10580

    1. Count Potato

      NWA? Really? If I were Eazy-E I’d come back from the dead and give all of them AIDS.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If they were white how long would it be before…
      Ah, fuck it.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Outstanding.

    4. Rhywun

      The weird hybrid Fraktur/Hebrew font is a nice touch.

  52. Being bored at work, I ran numbers on whether it was feasible for my fictional country to meet its domestic demand for chocolate given its small land area and relatively dense population. In my research I found that intercropping cocoa with coconut provided much needed shade with the bonus of an additional crop. I found it was not only feasible, but they could also contend for the number ten producer of coconuts in the world.

    Then I noticed I’d messed up an order of magnitude, so I’d calculated how much land they’d need to produce ten times their domestic consumption of chocolate (which still only put them at 3.5% of the Ivory Coast’s output). This is why I’d ventured off into looking at whether they would be importing cane or refined sugar. Now I need to decide whether they’re an exporter of confectionaries, or if they’re using a tenth as much land for growing cocoa and coconut.

    1. MikeS

      So just because you were bored you thought you’d bore the rest of us?

      1. Bob Boberson

        I larf’ed and now I can feel my coworkers are starring at the back of my head

        1. Snow here means most of my coworkers noped out of going in to work today.

          1. Bob Boberson

            Bad weather closing the government (but little else) down is one of our time-honored traditions.

      2. Lachowsky

        This our tax dollars at work.

        1. Not since the SALT deduction got cut…

          1. More seriously though, it’s a “Hurry up and wait” circumstance exacerbated by a lot of people staying home thanks to the aggressive snowfall.

    2. straffinrun

      Why is the shade “much needed”?

      1. Cocoa trees don’t grow well in full sunlight. They acutally require shade to prosper.

        1. straffinrun

          Would your readers know that? More importantly, would they care?

          1. In all probability, no and no.

            But I find these sorts of exercises interesting, plus I get to learn things I previously was unaware of while running down the details.

          2. straffinrun

            Carry on counting those toothpicks. I’m not one to judge.

      2. Festus

        Projects GIF of unhappy fat black lady.

    3. Drake

      I actually spent time on a coconut plantation.

      The problem with mixing the crops is that coconuts are harvested with basically a knife on a long pole. Then the guy steps out of the way and lets the bunch of coconuts drop to the ground. I don’t think another fruit crop could survive the trampling and falling coconuts. Generally it’s just grass with goats or water-buffalo grazing between harvests.

      1. This is not my hypothetical, they actually do this.

        The short palm that is harvested with improvised billhook isn’t what’s grown as an intercrop. They grow the tall palm, which is harvested by a guy climbing up the tree… and dropping the bunches to the ground.

        The key thing is spacing. You have two rows of palm spaced at 7.5-8.5 meters. then rows of Cocoa at 3 meters between plants, then another twin rows of palms. the area most shaded by the palm is some distance from the base of the trunk (depending on sun elevation, etc)

        1. Drake

          I never could keep track of the different types of coconuts they were growing in Sri Lanka. Some for drinking, some for eating fresh. The plantation I visited for a few days had a kind of kiln where they would dry and husk the fruit. That’s the kind they use in candy.

          1. I’m not 100%, but the evidence suggests that most of the difference in uage boils down to when the coconut is picked and how its processed, with the cultivars being interchangable to some extent (though with any plant, some cultivars are better for some purposes than others).

            Of course, my research had been into cocoa production and the coconut data was collected as an incidental, so I may have easily missed something salient.

    4. spqr2008

      They should be an exporter of confectioneries made in a plant owned by a global candy conglomerate!

    5. Drake

      Sugar…

      Since coconuts flower, they can produce honey. The flower sap and nectar can also be used as a sweetener or distilled in Arrack.

      1. Hrmm… Thanks for the info.

    6. R C Dean

      I, for one, appreciate Unciv’s forays into world-building. Its the kind of thing that can give a real foundation to a story. The trick, I think is to not divert into mini-didactics where you divulge everything you’ve learned about, say, coca farming. But it should give you little details you can drop in to give depth, and some unexpected things that might be useful for plot points (e.g, why is there a billhook when this kind of trees don’t need them – suspicious!).

      1. I get that people would be bored out of their mind reading a report on the agricultural output of Sanalta, but it might manifest in a chase through an intercropped field/orchard/whatever, or a random conversation where someone remarks that the country is “the tenth largest producer of coconuts.” Or in the the sort of products on the shelves the narrator uses to block view from the street when ducking into a store. Little details, not long screeds.

  53. Fucktarded motherfucking fuckers.

    https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/03/affirmative-consent-pledge-michael-ellsberg-virtue-signaling-extreme/

    “I’m a Man, and I Commit to Making Sure All My Sexual Encounters Are Fully Consensual”

    Good thing it doesn’t say anything about Rapesquatches.

    1. Festus

      “Doomcocks Hardest Hit!”

    2. straffinrun

      Damn. I just finished The Fountainhead. The rape scene helped me understand the title.

      1. Can you explain how the jury didn’t convict the guy who destroyed a third party’s property because it was actually built to their spec rather than to the spec of a side agreement the property owners were not a party to?

        1. straffinrun

          Cronyism?

          1. straffinrun

            More to the point, the people have been indoctrinated to the quiet whispers of the anti bourgeoisie sentiment that had permeated the society and had lost their moral compass.

      2. Festus

        Never read the book but I’d give the movie a solid thumbs up!

    3. Brett L

      Did he not do that before?

      1. Apparently not. Signing a pledge is all that was required for him to stop raping people.

        1. Count Potato

          More like signing that pledge is to start raping people.

  54. Count Potato

    Today, in insufferable writing:

    “‘I Went To A Vaginapractor And Cried Tears Of Relief’

    Kimberly Ann Johnson welcomes me into a loftlike, white-walled studio space in Brooklyn with a soft, calm smile. I don’t know what I expected: Perhaps a glassier stare? An outfit of mysteriously flowing linen? A naval piercing on display? A Goddess tattoo displayed prominently in white ink on her sternum? A tan, a middle part?

    This is my first vaginapractor appointment, scheduled within weeks of my son’s first birthday. For nearly 12 months, I’ve been clenching, steering clear of dander and dust, popping vitamin C like M&M’s to prevent a runny nose, afraid to cough lest I need to change myself as well as my son.

    Johnson is both a vaginapractor and the creator of MAGAMAMA (an unfortunate term in the age of Trump; in Portuguese, maga means sorceress), a collective dedicated to helping new mothers pass through the postpartum window “more radiant, healthy, and whole.” She looks just like my mom friends. Only a little more certain.”

    http://www.whimn.com.au/strength/health/i-went-to-a-vaginapractor-and-cried-tears-of-relief/news-story/5eda8513be33e6ffea23f5eaa3e832ea

    1. Fleecing rich, moronic NYC hipsters is a tough gig.

      1. Gilmore

        these are Australians.

        1. Gilmore

          correction: the person who actually churned that out is in fact the prototypical NYC media-hipster-lady

          it was just an aussie mag

    2. Gilmore

      “Whimm”

      i think the thing about these online women’s magazines (which are almost indistinguishable in their style/substance)? is we think they’re all crazy as shit and were invented yesterday and are a sign of some deteriorating collective mental condition driven by radical feminism….

      …when in fact, they’re actually just the same shit you’d have found had you cracked open the back pages of some supermarket-checkout aisle-women’s mag. its just that 99% of dudes have never even wanted to know what was inside those things. Guess what? It was stuff like this. Always. And there have always been ‘vaginators’, or at least some goofy feelgood ‘all natural’ postpartum therapist type things. they just were more circumspect about how they branded themselves, out of a mild-sense of embarrassment/sense of decorum which no longer exists.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now we know what Gilmore does in the checkout line.

        1. Gilmore

          I very ostentatiously hold “Breastfeeding Monthly” up in front of my face and go, “Awwww yeah baby, gimme some of that action… mmmm, mmmm, you naughty tiger you”

      2. Festus

        I used to scan those mags cover to cover for “research” purposes when I was a lad and yes, sadly you are correct.

    3. Festus

      “She looks just like my mom friends. Only a little more insane.”

    4. Juvenile Bluster

      You linked to that and not to the sidebar article about everyone being into pegging? What kind of glib are you?

      1. Festus

        “You get pegged and you get pegged and you get pegged! Everybody gets Pegged! Oprah 2020

    5. R C Dean

      MAGAMAMA

      Awesome. Gotta be in a Hat ‘n’ Hair. Maybe something to do with Hope Hicks leaving?

  55. The Late P Brooks

    Now I need to decide whether they’re an exporter of confectionaries, or if they’re using a tenth as much land for growing cocoa and coconut.

    Mounds bars, FTW!

    1. I thought the same thing.

    2. Lachowsky

      coconut is bad. That is all.

      1. I don’t disagree. I chose it because A: It is a common component of Carribbean cuisine; B: would be grown in this country anway; and C: is used as a shade plant for cocoa plantations.

      2. spqr2008

        I have to refute your assertion. Coconut by itself isn’t the best in the world, but add it to other things, and it is excellent.

        1. spqr2008

          Except Rum, it’s not that great as Malibu.

        2. commodious spittoon

          Curry powder and red chile flakes.

      3. *narrows gaze*

  56. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. Rage inducing headline of the day: ‘Limited’ surplus means tough decisions ahead for Minnesota lawmakers

    Yup, the fact that we collected* more money than we needed means that lawmakers have to really think about how they are going to spend that money. Maybe – just maybe – they could not spend any fucking more and lower taxes?

    *based on projections, so who really fucking knows.

    1. straffinrun

      Is it just me or do you see these numbers $329 million, $188 million etc. and think, “They have no fucking idea how much money is coming in or going out.”?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        We’ve always worked on “projections” here in Minnesoda. You always here about them, but I don’t think I’ve ever read a story about the actuals. No story that says “our projections of collecting $400M in taxes last year turned out to be off by $150M. We only collected $250M in reality.”

        It is just a huge line of revolving credit for the legislature to play with.

    2. Lachowsky

      I’d suggest putting in some bike lanes.

      1. Festus

        Those numbers are just like dropping a dime at the check-out lane. Nobody is arsed enough to bend over to pick it up so it will continue, apace.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        DON’T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!!!!!!

        Seriously Minneapolis has always been in a bike war with Portland. We live in fear that they will somehow figure out a way to create more proggy bike lanes than us. At some point, we are going to close down at least 2 lanes of an interstate to put in bike lanes.

  57. Derpetologist

    great moments in technology worship

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NESTOR_(encryption)

    ***
    NESTOR was a family of compatible, tactical, wideband secure voice systems developed by the U.S. National Security Agency and widely deployed during the Vietnam War.

    NESTOR was successfully used in some situations, but the overall experience was not good. NSA estimates that only about one in ten units were actually used. A variety of problems contributed to this rejection:[1]:Vol II, p.43ff

    Voice quality was poor
    NESTOR reduced the range of radios by 10%. While this did not happen in tests with carefully tuned radios, it did in the field.
    The roughly 600 millisecond delay before NESTOR enabled radios would synchronize after each “push to talk” was intolerable to pilots in air to air combat.

    The human portable version, KY-38, while a marvel of miniaturization for the time, was still heavy. The KY-38 plus AN/PRC-77 radio and spare batteries weighed about 54 pounds (24.5 kg). Experiments with having two Marines carry the separate units with a cable between worked poorly in the jungle. Many units decided that more ammunition was a better use of carrying capacity.

    While many in the U.S. military believed that the Viet Cong and NVA would not be able to exploit insecure communications, interrogation of captured communication intelligence units showed they were able to understand the American’s jargon and informal codes in realtime and were often able to warn their side of impending U.S. actions.
    ***

    I have a dim view of tech-based crypto. There are so many ways it can go wrong.

    I’ve noticed that those who speak a foreign language often have trouble understanding different dialects and accents of that language. I’m thinking you could use the example of the Navajo code talkers, but recruit English speakers with strong accents.

    I’ll call it Operation Mushmouth.

    1. Festus

      Hey, whatever happened to Tinkertoys?

    2. I’ve noticed that those who speak a foreign language often have trouble understanding different dialects and accents of that language. I’m thinking you could use the example of the Navajo code talkers, but recruit English speakers with strong accents.

      “Sir, the comms are secure.”

      “Then what’s the problem?”

      “None of us can understand what our radioman is telling us.”

      1. Derpetologist

        “None of us can understand what our radioman is telling us.”

        It’s a lot easier for a native English speaker to get used to a different accent than it is for someone who speaks English as a foreign language.

        It is a valid criticism though.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Operation Mushmouth

      Operation Just Got Back From The Dentist

        1. commodious spittoon


          Ziemowit Musiatowicz
          5 months ago

          This is the best ASMR session I’ve heard so far.

        2. Derpetologist

          wiki sez

          ***
          Mike Judge has stated that the inspiration for Boomhauer’s voice came from a message left on his answering machine by an irate viewer of Beavis & Butt-Head as well as the voice patterns of an acquaintance in Dallas and an Oklahoma City resident reciting directions over the telephone.[4]
          ***

    4. Chipwooder

      ” I’m thinking you could use the example of the Navajo code talkers, but recruit English speakers with strong accents.”

      Get some Tangier Island natives – no one sounds as odd as they do.

    5. Caput Lupinum

      I’m thinking you could use the example of the Navajo code talkers, but recruit English speakers with strong accents.

      I’ll call it Operation Mushmouth.

      The British used native Welsh speakers for the same reason we used Navajo speakers. It was apparently hard to tell what language they were actually speaking when they talked to a normal Englishman on the radio.

      1. Number.6

        Plus, the entirely natural conclusion that an Englishman wouldn’t think the Welshman had anything useful to say.

        1. Derpetologist

          “You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the place names. Never ask for directions in Wales, Baldrick. You’ll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight …”

          1. Caput Lupinum

            We’re in Cardiff! London doesn’t care. The south-west coast could fall into the sea and they wouldn’t notice – oh. I sound like a Welshman. God help me, I’ve gone native.

            — Blon the Slitheen, Doctor Who

        2. Caput Lupinum

          Os nad ydych am wybod ble mae’r cwrw, that’s fine, more for us. Siwmae.

          1. Number.6

            I actually needed google translate for that, gwladwyr.

            The only Gladwins I’ve ever know were Welsh, so I have to believe the words are connected.

    6. Derpetologist

      today I learned

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tutnese

      ***
      Double letters in a word, rather than being repeated, are preceded by the syllable squa to indicate doubling. For doubled vowels, the prefix becomes squat instead—thus, OO would be spoken as squat-oh.[1]

      Word Example: “Tree” becomes “Tutrugsquatee”. Sentence Example: “I took a walk to the park yesterday” becomes “I tutsquatohkuck a wackalulkuck tuto tuthashe pubarugkuck yubesustuterugdudayub”.


      This game appears to have been invented and used by black slaves in the American south, to teach spelling and conceal what they said, at a time when literacy among slaves was forbidden.[2]

      Maya Angelou mentions learning Tutnese as a child in the first volume of her autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She and her friend Louise “spent tedious hours teaching ourselves the Tut language. You (yack oh you) know (kack nug oh wug) what (wack hash a tut). Since all the other children spoke Pig Latin, we were superior because Tut was hard to speak and even harder to understand.”[3]
      ***

      1. Number.6

        They should have just learned Cultic Etruscan.

  58. Sean

    And in local news:
    http://www.wfmz.com/news/fbi-probe/jury-finds-allentown-mayor-ed-pawlowski-guilty-on-47-counts/709384510

    TL;DR – Another corrupt politician (Democrat) going to jail and the FBI actually doing it’s job.

  59. Count Potato

    “How Exactly Did Melania Trump Get a Visa for “Extraordinary Abilities”?
    She may have received some help from an inflatable whale (no, not Donald).”

    https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/03/how-exactly-did-melania-trump-get-a-visa-for-extraordinary-abilities

    1. Number.6

      Retarded.

      The EB-1 was just a consolidation of about 4 other visa categories, one of which I got in on.

      As a model, she will have got this on the basis of “Commercial Success in the Arts” and probably “Evidence of original scientific, scholarly, artistic, athletic, or business-related contributions of major significance to the field”.

      It’s not necessary to be Werner von Braun to get one of these.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        You’re a retired hand model?

        1. Number.6

          We like to be called “Glove Puppets” THANK.YOU.VERY.MUCH.

        2. commodious spittoon

          He was Man Hands in Seinfeld.

    2. Festus

      Rule #1 – Be Attractive! Rule #2 Don’t Be Unattractive!

    3. Viking1865

      Fuck this kind of Puritan bullshit.

      Melania Trump has never taken a dime of taxpayer money. Yeah she makes her living being good looking, and married a rich man. So fucking what?

      I’d rather have a thousand Melania Trumps then one fucking “refugee” who’s living off the stolen wealth of others.

      This kind of attitude I simply do not understand. To me, there is one question with immigration: are you a grasshopper or an ant? I want people who work, who support themselves and their family, who are net contributors. I don’t care if they are restaurant owners, plumbers, fucking day laborers, models, comedians, whatever. Don’t care. Are you a fucking worker or a fucking leech? The only language, custom, culture, whatever I care about is if you are gonna be a pair of hands or a greedy open mouth. That’s it.

      1. R C Dean

        I’d rather have a thousand Melania Trumps than, well, a whole lot of other things.

        1. Number.6

          A Melania on every fireside rug

      2. The Last American Hero

        Plus, Melania doesn’t give 2 shits about what I eat.

    4. Her abilities involve a pressure washer, 55 gallon drum of silicone lube, a freshly killed deer carcass and an anal speculum. Treat lightly.

      1. Festus

        I was right with you until the last. Festus don’t roll that way, Baby!

  60. Count Potato

    “During today’s Opioid Summit at the White House, Eric Bolling shared the story of his son who died from an accidental overdose.”

    https://twitter.com/WhiteHouse/status/969315338440523776

    I wondered how he died.

    1. “Opioid Summit”

      Like a den in China?

    2. R C Dean

      About the only way to die from an accidental overdose is to be using street drugs that are stronger than you thought.

      If you OD on prescription drugs, its either intentional or negligent, not accidental.

      1. Number.6

        I’ll take negligent for $500, Alex.

        One of my neighbors was a long-time legitimate user of oxycodone who ended up abusing it because he’d become somewhat tolerant of it.

        When he finally went off it, he had problems, and so – as I understand it – he got a source about 8 weeks later, popped his ‘normal’ dose from 2 months before and that was it. LD50 exceeded and then some. Maybe other medical issues were complicating factors, but proximal cause was dropping way more than he actually needed.

  61. Count Potato
    1. spqr2008

      Way to make a point that you have no argument. Getting people banned from a speech platform means you are not capable of reasoned debate, or even ignoring that person.

    2. straffinrun

      All you have to do is have some alt right people say they agree with him and he gets hung on his own retard.

    3. Rhywun

      No idea what that’s about but “Racequeer, Gender Capitalist” made me LMFAO.

      1. That stuck out to me too. WTF is Racequeer? Also, the exchange about him being 1/16th Indian was rather hilarious.

        As if getting banned from Twatter is so terrible; the place is a cesspool.

      2. R C Dean

        Sounds to me like is making a good living fleecing SJWs?

    4. Festus

      If ever a Being was more deserving of an older brother’s face-fart, this is the one. Aye, this is the one..,.

    5. Bob Boberson

      “I’m not American, I’m English and racequeer. How patronising of you to assume my nationality AND skin colour.”

      Come on, this guy has to be a troll….

    6. Number.6

      Prediction. New (but a pale imitation of) Godfrey Elfwick.

      Hard to imagine an Islington, London hipster being 1/16 native American.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        Definitely satire.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Looking down xer timeline, xe’s retweeted Godfrey. So yeah, it’s satire.

      3. Pretty sure it was elfwicks alt account since he was suspended until yesterday.

      4. Festus

        His Great Grandad was a Canadian soldier from the sweeping fields of Manitoba. His mom told them that they were descended from a Cherokee Princess ergo Native American. Do you guys even bother to geneal–genealogue–Genetiics?

    7. Raven Nation

      These people are clones with a pre-programmed vocabulary:

      “she’s banned for life like her alt-right boss Milo”

      “she was being offensive so I reported her”

      “I’m just trying to make twitter a safer place.”

      “If he’s not alt-right, then why does the Guardian call him that?”

    8. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I like the blatant requests for cash.

      “Please help me continue my services as an internet douchebag by contributing.”

    9. Suthenboy

      Holy fuck. That person has no functioning brain.

    10. one true athena

      Definitely troll. Not sure if it’s the Elfwick crew, but there was some confirmation that went around a week ago or so that it’s a parody. I think Shoe or someone like that who I follow knows who it is.

      Also godfrey’s back: @RealElfwick (there was an imposter for awhile, but this is apparently the ‘real’ one)

  62. Juvenile Bluster

    Stock market still tanking in response to Trump’s trade war shit.

    1. Festus

      Yeah, this is dangerous and stupid. Stupid Donnie is alright but tariffs are lighting a fire.

    2. straffinrun

      Fuck the markets and fuck Trump on all of this.

    3. Gilmore

      Stock market still tanking in response to Trump’s trade war shit.

      1) the cause-effect of markets doesn’t work that way. the amount of trading that takes place every day because of “weekly headlines” is far less than you think. its more often a combination of factors, and the most important ones tend to be things like ‘changes in interest rates’ or comments made by the chinese govt on their economic output/growth
      2) intraday market behavior is even less significant of macro-political stuff than the daily
      3) the market is barely down YTD. by fair-value fwd P/E type measures, the market could probably afford to lose ~5% and still be in very-healthy territory.

      1. Just Say’n

        Would you concede that Trump’s announcement at least didn’t help?

        1. Regardless of the market, his announcement is fucktarded. Trade wars are not good for anyone. Couple that with his gun horseshit and I’m pretty down on Trump this week.

          1. Just Say’n

            Yeah, I’d short his stock. I am interested in hearing the counter point. The fact that people in favor of some tariffs are never given a platform to voice their argument makes me more curious about their opinions

        2. Gilmore

          Would you concede that Trump’s announcement at least didn’t help?

          I think trump’s statements are almost always bone-stupid. I think proposed tariffs are incredibly dumb and will undermine (albeit slightly) what is likely to be robust earnings growth this year.

          none of which changes what i said

      2. straffinrun

        Did they have this trade war baked into the cake like they did on the Fed easing off it’s rate hike slow down? I didn’t see it coming.

        1. straffinrun

          And yes, I agree that the market has preferred economic indicators and geopolitical news that factor heavily into their trades. Trump’s announcement, however, will have a big impact regardless of whether or not it had a major impact on today’s numbers.

          1. Gilmore

            Trump’s announcement, however, will have a big impact regardless of whether or not it had a major impact on today’s numbers

            Define “big impact”

            http://www.infomine.com/investment/metal-price-futures/aluminum/3-month/

          2. Gilmore

            look, forgive me, but the very-common attitude that “markets react to X” is just a pet-peeve of mine.

            most people have the thought processes and time-frame-perspective of fucking goldfish when it comes to markets.

            everything is this instantaneous, reactive, “whats happening right now at this very moment is the most important thing and OMG LOOK TRUMPS COMMENTS MADE THE SUN COME UP AND THEN THE MARKET WENT DOWN”

            Say the market ends the day down. It does do that sometimes.

            Say the market goes up tomorrow and regains any potential daily losses today – did it go UP because of some sudden reversal of conventional wisdom about the impact of Trump policies? Did everyone collectively just go, “you know what? I actually don’t care about trade policy, lets just buy some more equity”?

            People see the market as ‘confirming’ their opinions whenever its going in a direction that seems to be “reacting” to whatever news headlines they think are negative.

            When it does the opposite, they just go, “yawn, well the world is complicated”. Apparently the “markets” care about what they care about on some days, but not on others.

            Its just idiotic. its cargo-cult psychosis, which is stoked by the morons on the CNBC/Fox Business types.

          3. Number.6

            YOU LEAVE MARIA BARTIROMO ALONE!

          4. R C Dean

            I hears ya, Gilmore.

            The other thing to keep in mind is that the “experts” that go on the finance shows are generally running big portfolios of some kind. What that means is that they are always, always “talking their book” – saying what they want other people to believe so that they can make money off of them. It may be accurate and/or what they believe, but that’s not why they say it. They say it to make money.

            If someone says “OMG, this will crash the market, everyone should get out now”, you can be very sure that they shorted the fuck out of the market before they went on the air.

          5. Gilmore

            5401k

            the “experts” that go on the finance shows are generally running big portfolios of some kind. What that means is that they are always, always “talking their book”

            I refuse to call them “finance” shows. They’re daytime TV entertainment for old retiree men to fetishize about trading …. the same way they’ll watch “carpentry” shows even tho they don’t even own a goddman saw.

            the percent of individual investors who even trade their own retirement funds is minuscule;

            i think the average number of trades within a 401k (from an analysis i did myself of 1000s of accounts @ oppenheimer funds) was less than 1 a year over a period of 10 years. And that’s not even “they rebalanced the entire portfolio once a year” – a perfectly sensible way to manage it – that’s, “they sold/bought 1 thing”.

            yet all these same people will watch jim kramer or “making money” (where they don’t talk about making money, they talk about politics), or “Fast Money” where a bunch of alpha male guys share their trade ideas, because it feeds some part of their brain that think watching these shows will make them ‘better investors’ by some process of osmosis.

          6. Number.6

            The smarter one than outright shorting would be an options play.

            Even the dumbest regulatory drone would be able to nail those screen bozos if they started shorting.

  63. Well nuts. Sent home from the office due to wind-related power outages. Naturally powers out at home. Ah well. I’ll eat lunch in a few min and then leave early for my drive to Greensboro (reserve weekend mk2).

    1. Rhywun

      Nor’easter? We’ve got some wind here in NY but nothing that dramatic. Yet?

      1. Number.6

        It’s gusting up here and we’ve a thin sprinkling of snow, but I blame that on the altitude.

        1. Dr Mossy Lawn

          Heavy gusts, snow and power outages in NW NJ… need to go out and hook up the generator.

    2. Drake

      You drill in Greensboro? Marine or Navy?

      I drilled there for a year with the Marine Communications Company.

      1. I drill in Williamsburg, VA, but I have to go to an officer leadership course this year and Greensboro this weekend was the closest one. It’s all part of my big plan to shaft myself this month – drill last weekend, training this weekend, drill next weekend, command conference the weekend after that. At least the pay will be nice if/when it ever catches up. Still waiting for the second paycheck from my two weeks in California 3 weeks ago.

  64. Derpetologist

    Thom Hartmann at it again:

    How to Prevent More Billionaires from Happening
    How did we end up with an infestation of billionaires?
    https://www.alternet.org/economy/how-eliminate-billionaires

    ***
    So how did we end up with an infestation of billionaires, and how have other societies, from Northern European nations to 100% of our ancestors for most of human history, avoid this poverty- and crime-producing plague?

    Daniel Quinn is perhaps the most eloquent in pointing out that it all began when the agricultural revolution allowed us to live in climates where food wasn’t produced year-round. Spring, summer, and fall led to large harvests, which could be used for food through the long winters characterized by the farther north and south above and below the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn.

    But with the seasonal food surpluses came the emergence of the first humans who would prey on and lord over other humans as a way of life. The most efficient of the farmers learned that if they could simply lock up their food surplus throughout the winter, they could force others to serve them or face starvation during winter months.

    While equatorial peoples still largely “lived in the hands of the gods,” having a year-round food supply and typically spending less than three hours a day “working” to get and prepare food, those in the far north and south created highly unequal societies; what we today call kingdoms, empires and dynasties.
    ***

    Yep. There were never any kingdoms or empires on the equator.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Getting rid of billionaires is easy. Just let deflation happen.

    2. Daniel Quinn is perhaps the most eloquent in pointing out that it all began when the agricultural revolution allowed us to live in climates where food wasn’t produced year-round.

      I never knew the Inuit were master farmers.

      Also, there was plenty of agriculture in the equatorial zone. Agriculture allows for reliable food, equatorial people might just go out and cut the coconut from the tree, but they planted that tree there a decade ago.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Daniel Quinn is obviously not familiar with Aesop.

      1. Number.6

        Beat me to it. I was gonna just say “Team Grasshopper FTW”

    4. Rhywun

      infestation of billionaires

      lolderp

      1. Mugabe created an infestation of Quadrillionaires and Quintillionaires. We’re clearly behind their socialist paradise!

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      “Avatar
      Last Milwaukee Socialist • 32 minutes ago
      We ended up with so many billionaires (including our esteemed, pseudo-populist POTUS) because capitalism is an inherently inegalitarian system which, when allowed to operate unchecked and virtually unregulated within the economic domain, ALWAYS leads to extreme elitism and disparities of wealth.”

      Right. Because inequality didn’t exist in the Ancient world. Only capitalism does that apparently.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        How do you account for the complete lack of stratification in socialist economies though?

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Are you asking me?

          ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        I always find it odd the solution for a perceived or real issue identified by progressives is always to tax, take away, cap, and in this case ‘prevent’ and so on? Why? Because they allegedly cheat and steal from people? They should worry less about others and think about what they need to do to improve their lot.

        Even simple investment strategies go right over their heads thinking it’s just for the “rich”.

        I’ll never forget the time when I explained dividend payments to a prog. His eyes widened. He had no idea how awesome a tool it could be in helping create wealth. AND ANYONE COULD GET A DIVIDEND. Sure, you need some money to make money but start saving and move from there.

        Stop harping on others already. It’s for losers.

      3. R C Dean

        I would have gone with capitalism ALWAYS leads to extreme elitism and disparities of wealth.

    6. kbolino

      I’m confused. Is the problem that there are too many billionaires or too few? Because you can’t whine about income inequality and there being too many people having too much money at the same time.

      1. The goal isn’t to make everyone equally rich, they understand that is impossible. The goal is to tear down the rich, even if it means making the poor poorer.

        1. kbolino

          “Nuh-uh!”

          Between that observation and “the problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money” (paraphrased), Thatcher nailed it perfectly. It’s why they hate her so much.

  65. Just Say’n

    https://twitter.com/snopes/status/969390350992277504

    I can’t decide if Snopes or Babylon Bee is the parody site at this point

    1. kbolino

      If you had told me 10 years ago who the new Puritans were going to be, I’d have thought you an idiot. Yet, here we are, where Snopes “fact checks” parody sites, Facebook penalizes content that gets “fact checked”, and Twitter hides messages like “Delete Your Account” behind a “sensitive material” cover. The left has managed to turn themselves into everything they said conservatives would be, and then some. It’s maddening.

      1. Number.6

        I’m waiting for them to throw Hollywood out of the boat because every actor is an accomplished liar.

      2. trshmnstr

        The left has managed to turn themselves into everything they said conservatives would be, and then some. It’s maddening projection

    2. Count Potato

      See below, apparently a link to Snopes pops up on Facebook.

  66. Tundra

    Sometimes, the news just makes me smile.

    Tesla touts its emissions-free cars; its factory got fined for polluting

    The company, based in Palo Alto, also will install a solar array on the roof of a Boys and Girls Club in San Jose, as part of the settlement with the Bay Area Air Quality Management District.

    Yep. It’s all for Gaia. Or maybe not.

  67. The Late P Brooks

    Leonard Pitts is an angry man.

    I am willing, even eager, to have the discussion about what news media must do to earn back the public’s trust. Let’s talk about ways to keep cultural, class, racial and political biases out of our reportage. Let’s figure out how to protect ourselves from attack by trolls. Let’s consider strategies to more effectively wall off opinion from hard news. Let’s ask if we need so much opinion to begin with.

    But let’s also talk about what’s going on with 42 percent of Republicans. Because clearly, 42 percent of Republicans are out of their damn minds. For the record, 17 percent of Democrats are, too.

    Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/leonard-pitts-jr/article201577229.html#storylink=cpy

    ————-

    So let me be real clear here. As a journalist — as an American — I am not interested in earning those people’s trust.

    Frankly, they should be asking what they must do to earn mine.

    I’m pretty sure I couldn’t give a fuck less about Leonard Pitts’ opinion of me.

    1. Tundra

      Who?

    2. Just Say’n

      Shorter article: “I’ve learned nothing from the 2016 election and I intend to keep it that way”

    3. Number.6

      At last, liberals find their own Hihn.

    4. spqr2008

      And the fact that many Republicans would dismiss anti-Republican news as fake has nothing to do with the fact that there is a pretty clear double standard of behavior expected by the media from Republican politicians vs. their Democrat colleagues? How many stories of malfeasance are covered up by the press because it makes a Dem look bad vs. how many are covered up because it makes a Republican look bad? I don’t defend either party that often (one is Stupid, one is Evil), but don’t lie to my face, continue to make biased editorial decisions, complain about my implicit bias due to my point of view or the color of my skin, and then assume that because you are a journalist, you do not have any implicit biases from your world view, education, and political thinking.

      1. Viking1865

        The medias coverage of Ted Stevens vs their coverage of Bob Menendez tells you all you need to know.

    5. The news media has permanently torched their credibility to me. I won’t take a damn thing they say seriously ever again. The only way that changes is if the entire institution burns to the ground and is reborn in a different form.

      Also, fuck you Pitts, whoever the fuck you are. You’re a brain-dead lightweight with a gross overestimation of your own intelligence. If you had a brain, you would’ve gotten a real job instead of being a “journalist” for a dead tree publication.

    6. Bob Boberson

      Isn’t he the one that disdainfully said he didn’t care about the Christian/Newsom murders?

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murders_of_Channon_Christian_and_Christopher_Newsom

  68. The Late P Brooks

    Apparently, the wizards of the intertubes have devised another new annoyance; copy-pastas include some sort of autotagging feature.

  69. Count Potato

    “YouTube Hiring for Some Positions Excluded White and Asian Men, Lawsuit Says

    YouTube last year stopped hiring white and Asian males for technical positions because they didn’t help the world’s largest video site achieve its goals for improving diversity, according to a civil lawsuit filed by a former employee.

    The lawsuit, filed by Arne Wilberg, a white male who worked at Google for nine years, including four years as a recruiter at YouTube, alleges the division of Alphabet Inc.’s GOOGL -1.36% Google set quotas for hiring minorities. Last spring, YouTube recruiters were allegedly instructed to cancel interviews with applicants who weren’t female, black or Hispanic, and to “purge entirely” the applications of people who didn’t fit those categories, the lawsuit claims.

    A Google spokeswoman said the company will vigorously defend itself in the lawsuit. “We have a clear policy to hire candidates based on their merit, not their identity,” she said in a statement. “At the same time, we unapologetically try to find a diverse pool of qualified candidates for open roles, as this helps us hire the best people, improve our culture, and build better products.”

    People familiar with YouTube’s and Google’s hiring practices in interviews corroborated some of the lawsuit’s allegations, including the hiring freeze of white and Asian technical employees, and YouTube’s use of quotas.”

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/youtube-hiring-for-some-positions-excluded-white-and-asian-males-lawsuit-says-1519948013

    1. Just Say’n

      If the case is heard by courts in California they’re safe. Remember these are the same courts who decided that Damore was sexist and therefore should be fired.

      1. 9th circuit will side with the brown shirts too. Gotta appeal up to the Supremes for any satisfaction.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Damore was before the National Labor Relations Board, not a court.

        1. kbolino

          Chevron deference FTW

    2. Count Potato

      “Wow, a new lawsuit by a former recruiter for Youtube details how they discriminate against white and Asian men in recruiting/hiring. He was punished and ultimately fired when he complained about these practices.”

      https://twitter.com/JamesADamore/status/969385368091897856

  70. Count Potato

    “Are Hollywood movies teaching men and boys that predatory behavior is OK?

    When it comes to sex and romance in the movies, male protagonists are rarely shown taking “no” for an answer. Persistence and dogged determination are almost universally depicted as admirable traits for leading men, especially when it comes to the pursuit of women. Heroic, nice-guy characters routinely engage in forms of coercion, manipulation or stalking. But instead of being framed as creepy, these behaviors, more often than not, are presented as effective and romantic ways to win over the women of their dreams.”

    http://www.latimes.com/opinion/opinion-la/la-ol-mcintosh-hollywood-predator-heroes-20180301-story.html

    1. But instead of being framed as creepy, these behaviors, more often than not, are presented as effective and romantic ways to win over the women of their dreams.”

      Real world, they are – for people who look like that protagonist.

    2. MikeS

      Maybe because in real life, many women enjoy being pursued? And men too, for that matter.

  71. Suthenboy

    “…that person using their rights is an asshole.”

    I am gonna have to disagree here. Dude was begging customers for money in the parking lot. I would have tossed him out on his ear.

    1. Rhywun

      I see that all the time, like when they hold doors open with a cup in one hand. I have never seem a business do anything about it.

  72. The Late P Brooks

    Stock market still tanking in response to Trump’s trade war shit.

    It was nice while it lasted. He just can’t help himself.

    1. Number.6

      The good news is that tariffs can be lifted nearly as quickly as they can be imposed. This is retarded shit, but it’s retarded shit that can be reversed.

  73. Gilmore

    This is a robbyish sentence

    Glenn Greenwald @ggreenwald

    The no-fly list is a grotesque violation of due process that has been used overwhelmingly against Muslims.

    1) yes, it IS a violation of due process, and the fact that its secret (*afaik) is even worse.

    BUT

    2) the fact its used overwhelmingly against, “people who commit the most terror attacks” isn’t really proof of its abuse.

    This is basically the stupidest kind of argument against what is an obviously bad thing. iow, “Robby”. You have all these excellent arguments readily available! and you choose the dumbest one.

    The real question is: if you think someone is so dangerous that you think you need to be barring them from using transportantion services in the US… then they’re probably ‘too dangerous’ to be let run around on their own recognizance, doncha think?

    who ARE these people, and why are we in a position where we’ve got apparently “at risk of blowing themselves up” people walking around, and yet the best-solution for dealing with them is some shitty unconstitutional secret list, to be enforced by the @(#$*@* TSA?? (who will likely fail as they so often do)

    1. Just Say’n

      The difference is that Robby claims to be a libertarian, ergo he should reject identity politics as a collectivist impulse. Greenwald does not claim to be a libertarian. He is an old school liberal.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      See: Justin Trudeau.

      That remarkable moron.

  74. Just Say’n

    http://babylonbee.com/news/new-libertarian-convert-asks-ron-paul-heart/

    The Bablyon Bee is my most trusted news source

  75. The Late P Brooks

    How did we end up with an infestation of billionaires?

    Egad!

    1. Number.6

      She gets some much-wished-for-strange?

      And a spectacular collection of STDs, of course.

    2. Just Say’n

      This could be labeled “What happens when any average looking woman gets on TInder?”

      Answer: lots of attention, free meals, and all the sex she could ever want

      1. Festus

        Agreed but this is a better song and I can fap to it. 4/5 https://youtu.be/ttqMGYHhFFA

  76. CPRM

    At least that hobo got bounced from the McDonald’s by a cute lady cop and not a panting fatass.

  77. B.P.

    Delta Airlines supports the second amendment. They also wanted to remain neutral in the debate over guns.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/delta-ceo-we-are-supporters-of-the-2nd-amendment/ar-BBJN1QL?ocid=spartanntp

    Unless you’re some niche company that makes its money off of virtue signalling to the enlightened, perhaps it’s best to keep your yap shut about various policy issues not directly affecting your company. Quit caving to a vocal mob that will never be pleased anyway.

    1. RAHeinlein

      Supports the second amendment, hates the NRA – perhaps Delta is a “Libertarian” airline?

    2. Viking1865

      “Delta Airlines supports the second amendment.”

      This lie pisses me off so fucking much. Just like any other sniveling soft authoritarian.

      “Look, I support the First Amendment, but there are limits. Reasonable limits. Common sense limits.”

      All together now: Fuck off, slaver.

    3. kbolino

      JTFC.

      Just stop talking. You run an airline, which means you have the TSA disarm all of your passengers for you. You’ve got no dog in this fight. Just ignore the idiots complaining about irrelevant bullshit on social media.

  78. The Late P Brooks

    But with the seasonal food surpluses came the emergence of the first humans who would prey on and lord over other humans as a way of life. The most efficient of the farmers learned that if they could simply lock up their food surplus throughout the winter, they could force others to serve them or face starvation during winter months.

    Life was better when humans were too busy scratching subsistence out of the dirt to sit around wondering what to do with their free time.

  79. Yusef drives a Kia

    I guess when you’re late to links you can’t COMPLAIN about Sloop Using a link I posted Yesterday! He’s too bust dealing with drunks to read his own website

  80. Chipwooder

    Cops are fucking terrible shots, take 58970456

    This really should be set to Yakity Sax

  81. The Late P Brooks

    Delta Airlines supports the second amendment.

    So does the dipshit from Dick’s. As long as you restrict your activities to the kind of recreational shooting he approves of, which only involves murdering clay pigeons.

  82. The Late P Brooks

    I haven’t seen anything about it, yet. Has Etsy banned gun-related merchandise from their website?

  83. Derpetologist

    Missing CDC epidemiologist was passed up for promotion, police say
    https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/27/health/missing-cdc-epidemiologist-update/

    ***
    “The most unusual factor in this case is that every single belonging that we are aware of was located in the residence,” O’Connor said. “His keys, his cell phone, credit cards, debit cards, wallet, all of his identification. Anything you could think of, we’ve been able to locate. None of those items are missing.”
    On the morning of the disappearance, he said, Cunningham was informed by his supervisor as to why he wasn’t receiving a promotion at work. He had been told a week before that he was being passed over for the job.
    Colleagues told police that Cunningham was “obviously disappointed” by the news and that he left work shortly after, saying he didn’t feel well, according to O’Connor.

    The parents said they had a worrisome phone call with their son and exchange of texts the evening of February 11. “We’ve shared that with the detectives, and we’ve kept that as a private matter,” his father said.
    “As a parent, you have indicators when things are just not right with your child, and that was the case,” he said.
    His mother said she received a text message at 5:21 a.m. on the day he was last seen. “Are you awake?” her son asked.
    Her phone was on silent mode. “I wish I had that opportunity to answer that text,” she said.

    When they arrived at their son’s house after he went missing, the parents said, they felt something was wrong because he had left his Tibetan spaniel unattended. The dog, officially named Mister Bojangles Cunningham but known as Bo, had twice accompanied Cunningham to Harvard, where he went for his master’s and doctoral degrees.
    ***

    You don’t need to be the Brahmin of Baker Street to connect the dots here.

    1. antisthenes

      Uh, he’s fish food in a nearby river?

    2. Number.6

      “Face down, covered in baby oil in a gay sauna is no way to go, son”

  84. Count Potato

    “Men are taller than women because of food discrimination.”

    https://twitter.com/RealPeerReview/status/789798462762070016

    1. Count Potato

      “The goal of women’s studies is to train students to become human viruses that infect and disrupt other fields ”

      https://twitter.com/RealPeerReview/status/841594454658170880

      1. Mr Lizard

        Truer words have never been spoken before

      2. So being analogous to Ebola is a good thing? Can we turn these people into Soylent Green?

        1. Count Potato

          Only if it’s fed to girls, apparently.

  85. Derpetologist

    Klingon tourist center opens in Sweden
    https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/klingon-tourist-center-sweden/index.html

    ***
    Like many “Star Trek” fans, Visit Qo’noS artistic director Poletti has been fascinated by Klingon culture for a long time and thinks there’s much to be said for their “refreshing” straightforwardness.
    “A Klingon doesn’t try to fit in. They take up space and they demand it,” he says.
    He hopes visitors will take away a positive message on intercultural differences from the production.
    “In Sweden right now, like in all of Europe and perhaps the entire Western world, there is a lot of talk about integration, and how others should adapt to us,” Poletti says.
    “But here, it’s ‘the others,’ the Klingons, who show us their perspective on things and who they are, instead of us telling them to be in a certain way.”
    ***

    1. spqr2008

      Considering the Klingons were either the Rus, or Vikings, this makes a lot of sense for a location of a Klingon Museum.

  86. He’s quitting so he’s got no reason to hold back.

    http://freebeacon.com/issues/hatch-calls-obamacare-supporters-stupidest-dumb-people/

    And he’s not wrong.

    1. kbolino

      The ACA has to be one of the finest examples of intentions outweighing reality or results I’ve ever seen. The numbers are bullshit, the methods are regressive, the whole thing is a giant mess, and yet Democrats laud it as essential and successful because of what it symbolizes to them.

      1. commodious spittoon

        It can’t be an abject failure that exacerbated all the problems it was meant to fix and contrived a host of new ones, we had all the right intentions!

    2. one true athena

      I hope he keeps his twitter. I don’t know if it’s him or he’s got a fun Official Twitter person, but he gets in some good zingers on that account.

  87. Derpetologist

    NPR doesn’t like the Death Wish remake one bit.
    https://www.npr.org/sections/monkeysee/2018/03/02/589611532/watching-the-lazy-cynical-remake-of-death-wish-will-give-you-one

    ***
    What do you reasonably expect to find in a review of a film that has been so ruthlessly engineered to target the pleasure-centers of the most fearful and fragile cohort of American maleness? To deliver unto them an elaborately contrived series of events meant to prove that their view of the world is both only correct — and the only correct one?

    Do you expect me to tell you that the film is not the thin and cynical fever-dream of those who ache to be reassured that cities are cesspits, the police ineffectual, and, as one character (Len Cariou, what are you doing?) intones, “If a man wants to protect his own [cocks shotgun], he has to do it himself”? Because it is that. It is precisely that.

    Cue the dog-whistles: C.S. Lewis’ Christian parable The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe gets a cameo appearance, as does conservative radio host Mancow. A character reads aloud from the work of, I’m not making this up, Milton Friedman. At one point, reader, the dog whistles came so fast and furious that the press screening I attended got interrupted by a yellow Labrador Retriever, who stuck his head in the theater door and said, “Hey could you guys keep it down in here? I got a splitting headache.”

    It arrives in theaters now, mere weeks after the latest mass shooting, and wants its audience simply to nod vigorously along with every hail of bullets, to cheer every mutilation. It asks nothing, and offers only the blanket assertion that feelings of masculine inadequacy — “The most important thing a man can do is protect his family, and I failed,” Willis declaims — can be obviated ballistically.
    ***

    1. So, does it have a vigilante gunning down criminals or not?

      1. commodious spittoon

        “I mean, sure, but you really have to deconstruct the toxic masc–”

        “Super, thanks.”

    2. kbolino

      I reiterate my comment above the new Puritans. Not only are they massive scolds, hypocrites, Luddites, and iconoclasts, they are also incredibly obtuse.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      Sounds fun.

      1. Festus

        I loved the original film when I was a little kid. What’s not to like? Charles Fucking Bronson going from mild-mannered architect (heh) into vigilante killing machine? It was almost as good as Deliverance (which still troubles my dreams).

    4. Just Say’n

      “C.S. Lewis’ Christian parable The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe gets a cameo appearance”

      What exactly is the dog whistle here?

      1. CPRM

        A character reads aloud from the work of, I’m not making this up, Milton Friedman.

        The HORROR!

        1. Just Say’n

          NPR commentator: Who would read Milton Friedman?

          Average person: The highly literate or literally anyone who has ever taken advanced econ classes?

          NPR commentator: Touche

          1. Number.6

            It’s hard to imagine an economist of ANY stripe who is more accessible to the average bear than Milton Friedman.

            Both of my kids read Free to Choose (a book based on a PBS series, no less) when they were 12.

          2. Just Say’n

            Yeah, I mean more so that most people probably aren’t familiar with Friedman

          3. Number.6

            Well, duh. That’s because he’s a Nazi, and he hung out with Nazis like Thomas Sowell and Francis Fox Piven.

      2. Derpetologist

        “Christian parable”

        Only deplorables care about such things.

    5. Just Say’n

      “who ache to be reassured that cities are cesspits”

      Well, not anymore, because rich white liberals used local government to subsidize condo development and ‘artist lofts’, while pricing out minorities. Oh, are we not to talk ill of our betters, who are most assuredly our inferiors?

      1. From the shit map, San Fransisco is a literal cesspit.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Not a shithole?

          I bet even Haitians mainly use latrines.

          1. A cesspit is a hole where human waste is deposited.

        2. Just Say’n

          San Francisco is garbage town USA, no doubt. But, every time I hear people trumpet about how much crime has declined in cities I always wonder why they never address the obvious fact that a big reason for this was federal dollars which were used to end low-income housing projects (and push the poor into the suburbs) and using money to underwrite the construction costs of new swanky bars, condos, and ‘artist lofts’.

          1. Just Say’n

            That was one of the best satires that South Park ever did and it received little notice or self-reflection

    6. AKA: Bruce Willis is a poopyhead because he won’t stay on the reservation.

  88. The Late P Brooks

    “Delta Airlines supports the second amendment.”

    Oh, good. So I can bring my 1911 on the plane?

    “Well we don’t support it *that way*.”

  89. The Late P Brooks

    At one point, reader, the dog whistles came so fast and furious that the press screening I attended got interrupted by a yellow Labrador Retriever, who stuck his head in the theater door and said, “Hey could you guys keep it down in here? I got a splitting headache.”

    Like, OMG so clevaar!

    1. commodious spittoon

      “Dog whistles,” IOW takes for which I haven’t received credible talking points yet.

    2. B.P.

      Comedy is a lost art.

  90. commodious spittoon

    I can’t imagine being drunk at my office job, let alone a labor job. I went for a couple beers at lunch on occasion back when I worked in the vault, but that only involved sitting in a cubicle running cash through a counter. I’ve worked construction with some serious drunks, like deliberately standing several paces away so you don’t bask in the boozy breath drunks. How they managed, I have no idea. It seems miserable.

    1. Number.6

      It’s a matter of training.

      Back in the old country, the City of London (almost no resident population at all) was well-supplied with pubs and bars that were packed at lunchtime. Nobody had a qualm about a liquid lunch of some combination of a pint or pints plus gin and tonics etc.

    2. Festus

      “Then you haven’t really lived, Son!”

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’ll write reports when I’m drinking, but I always hit send the next day, after spellcheck 😉

  91. Leroy

    Glibs, help me out.

    I’m considering a new rifle, and i’m looking at entry level AR’s. I’m looking at the Ruger AR556, and the SW M&P 15 Sport. Any preferences? What should I be looking for? Thanks in advance!

    1. Either is a good choice. Armalite has some good deals too.

      1. Leroy

        Thanks! I’m looking at the Ruger or SW because the price point was lower than any of the armalite’s that I’ve seen, and they both seem to have very good reviews. I’ve got my first kid coming in the near future, so I’m pretty price point driven at the moment. I just want to make sure that I have one before our overlords ban away the scary guns.

        Are the options and modifications that I know are common with these types of rifles pretty universal?

    2. Number.6

      Up front admission. I don’t own one, but …

      …having said that, if this is a genuine entry-level gun where you’re going to limit the amount of parts you’re going to swap, either are very good value. If you’re intending to start swapping bits and pieces out to make it a better gun in the future, you’re going to end up with an expensive mediocre gun.

      1. Leroy

        If I wanted a bare bones model that could be upgraded into a higher quality gun down the road, what would you recommend?

        1. Number.6

          Q is probably going to have better guidance than me, but look …

          Let’s say you buy the S&W – not a bad choice at all – all the parts score around 6/10. You already have a competent, reliable piece of kit. Then you want optics. There are lots of opinions on this, but the most expensive way is to by something very cheap, outgrow it, upgrade to something a bit better, and keep doing that so you end up with a graveyard of optics. Barrels can be the same way. Same with trigger groups. To make a quantum leap in component quality, you’re going to be spending a sizeable fraction of the price of the whole ‘starter’ AR. I see people make this mistake time and time again, they end up with a couple of each part of an AR15 and have no use for them.

          If this is your first AR-15 pattern gun, I’d view it as a ‘beater’ and just learn what you don’t like about it for as long as possible. It’s gonna be fun to shoot. It’s gonna be great for practice. It’ll be great for Leroy Jr.’s first plinker when he’s old enough. Sure, if you want a red dot on it, get a cheapy one. Nicer adjustable stock? Why not! New bolt group? Not so sure.

          Who knows? You might find that with time, you’re not shooting thousands of rounds a year, so ammo prices aren’t as big a deal, and you want to opt for a really nice, new LWRC trophy build in 300 Blackout (if you do, make sure you don’t accidentally shoot the wrong ammo in the wrong gun).

          1. Leroy

            Thanks 6!

        2. Sean

          The S&W and Ruger are both OK choices.

          However, my recommendation is to guy buy a stripped lower and order this kit (or one like it): https://palmettostatearmory.com/psa-16-5-56-nato-1-7-mid-length-stainless-steel-13-5-mlok-moe-ept-rifle-kit-with-mbus-sight-set-5165447686.html

          The rifle kit will ship right to your door. Assemble it yourself or have a local gunsmith do it for you.

          The “advantage” to this is a better baseline rifle. The handguards are free floated, better stock, and the EPT is a nicer trigger.

  92. egould310

    Well. It’s cold. Raining very hard. My wife is working from home today. No epic run/hill workout today.

    Think I’ll smoke this joint, play guitar for the next 4 hours. Make spaghetti marinara for dinner.

    1. You could always have a workout with the wife 😉 .

      1. egould310

        It’s been a busy morning.

      2. Festus

        Call it multi-tasking. That should be worth a few extra bucks. Even better, your boning of the wife counts toward employee benefits.

  93. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_world_wonders

    ***
    “The world wonders” was a phrase used as security padding in an encrypted message sent from Admiral Chester Nimitz to Admiral William Halsey, Jr. on October 25, 1944, during the Battle of Leyte Gulf.[1] The words, intended to be without meaning, were added to hinder Japanese attempts at cryptanalysis, but were mistakenly included in the decoded message given to Halsey and interpreted by him as a harsh and sarcastic rebuke. As a consequence, Halsey dropped his pursuit of a Japanese carrier task force in a futile attempt to aid United States forces in the Battle off Samar.[2]
    ***

    1. Festus

      Which explains why there is no nuke-powered aircraft carrier named “Halsey”. Whatta maroon.

  94. Derpetologist

    Putin boasts military might with animation of Florida nuke strike
    https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/01/europe/putin-nuclear-missile-video-florida/index.html

    ***
    “Any use of nuclear weapons against Russia or its allies, any kind of attack, will be regarded as a nuclear attack against Russia, and in response, we will take action instantaneously no matter what the consequences are,” Putin said. “Nobody should have any doubt about that.”

    “Russia still has the greatest nuclear potential in the world, but nobody listened to us,” he said. “Listen now.”
    To drive home his point, Putin spoke as a video showed multiple nuclear warheads streaking through space before showering down on what appears to be the outline of the state of Florida.
    “But even this is not the end,” Putin said. “We’ve developed new strategic weapons that don’t use ballistic trajectory at all, which means that missile defense will be useless against it.”
    ***

    OK, Dr. Evil, take a chill pill.

    1. Festus

      If you push me, so help me God, I am going to tie on my Adidas and kick you straight in your wang.

  95. The Late P Brooks

    “Any use of nuclear weapons against Russia or its allies, any kind of attack, will be regarded as a nuclear attack against Russia, and in response, we will take action instantaneously no matter what the consequences are,” Putin said. “Nobody should have any doubt about that.”

    Is there anybody, anywhere, who thinks this is a new or different policy?