ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YESTERDAY ZARDOZ BELIEVED HE WAS COMPELLED TO CHEER FOR YOUR BRUTAL TEAM OF CARNIVOROUS RAPTORS. THE TABERNACLE HAS REMINDED ZARDOZ, THAT THE CORRECT RESULT IS ONE THAT LEADS TO THE GREATEST AMOUNT OF CLEANSING.
IF THE OLD FASHIONED BRUTAL ENFORCERS WIN, WILL THEY USE MUSKETS TO CLEANSE OPPOSING FANS? IF THE CARNIVORIOUS RAPTORS WIN, WILL THE ENSUING RIOTS CLEANSE A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF BRUTALS?
STATE YOUR CASE, CHOSEN ONES!
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Comments
771 responses to “ZARDOZ’S SUPER BOWL OPEN POST”
The best riots will happen in Philly regardless of who wins.
Grease those streetlight poles!
They’re greasing the street poles with hydraulic fluid right now.
Shotgun Willies?
The classiest place to watch a Super Bowl.
Why do you celebrate oversized dishes?
It’s not a riot if there’s no looting or blocking up freeways.
Freeway blocking is “protesting historical injustices”
so prison riots are a myth? Or is burning your cellmate’s toilet paper stash sufficient for looting?
I need some burger ideas.
I’m charring and peeling the poblanos right now. The rest to be determined. Probably bacon.
Burger patty, roasted poblano slice on top, covered with a fried egg covered with pepper jack cheese.
Good start, but I feel like it’s missing a sauce.
Sriracha
I assumed you’d make your own aioli Because I know you well enough to know you should make your own aioli.
I’d do an aioli with some sautéed shallots and bacon put into the food processor before the oil goes in. I’ll send you my recipe if you want. I don’t think you’ve had it, but EDG had years ago and thought it was quite nice.
+ horseradish
Yolk can be a sauce.
I’ve never tried the egg on burger thing, definite added to my list.
Once you start down that road, your breakfasts will never be the same. I’ll just have that with about a 1/3 lb burger. Make my own aioli and smear it on the plate and set the burger atop it and go from there. Usually grilled onion, bacon, an egg and a cheese I choose that morning depending on my mood.
Burger for breakfast?! That’s crazy-talk.
No. No it’s not.
At least no crazier than a fucking buttered roll.
Tasty crazy talk…
I kid. I would never turn down a good burger, especially one with some of my favorite foods on top like bacon, eggs, and cheese. Maybe a brunch idea for next weekend.
At Purdue, there’s an institution called XXX, and it serves ground sirloin with most of its breakfast meals. Steak and eggs is delicious at 3am as the buzz is wearing off. It’s also tasty at 9:30am after having a 6-pack of breakfast beer.
It’s good. Especially on a bacon cheeseburger.
Hot sauce, mayo, mustard, candied jalapenos, hot pepper cheese.
Make sure you have onion on it too, preferably carmalized.
Raw onions FTW.
.. and not those shitty vidalia things.
White, or shallots.
Either or. I like a raw red or white onion on a burger for sure. Carmalized onions are like the bacon oF vegetables though.
White, or shallots.
Always with the racist onions, you cis-shitlord.
I don’t like ’em. Too slimy.
I take my onions like my men.
Curry Ketchup.
Damn, sloop. Exactly what I was thinking.
Maybe top with New Mex red sauce.
What did you mean probably?
I’m going to have bacon on at least one of them.
Mayo and pineapple.
^^this man wants pineapple on a burger AND he refuses to watch Jaws.^^
I’m just saying.
Hmm..I wonder how sidepork would taste on a burger…
Season the meat stuff the pablonos and bake. Serve on a toasted chiabotta with melted pepper jack and a wasabi, siracha lime mayo.
If I hadn’t already blackened and skinned them, that would be something I’d be very interested in.
You wouldn’t sear and peel the peppers before stuffing them?
That sounds good.
It does sound good and now I am regretting my snack lineup. I am settling for pulled pork tacos and chicken wings.
I want to take a red pepper — cut an outside ring and then use that to surround the meat and grill it.
I made a really nice barbacoa of beef top round roast in the pressure cooker and shredded it in a nice “gravy” of beef broth, salsa verde and my own taco seasoning that I cooked it in. Then in went half an onion and a nice bit of cilantro. It’s delicious.
Ugh. I cant keep up these days. It’s planting season.
Too little, too late.
1.5 lb 80% ground beef. 1/4 sweet onion finely chopped. 1/3 cup pickled jalepeno finely chopped. 2 eggs, generous dash of garlic, half of a handful of oats. Toss all of that in a mixer and then pound into 4 patties – thin patties about 6″ diameter – they will contract and thicken with cooking. Wrap each raw patty with 3 strips of bacon. As you wrap them stretch the bacon so that it goes around 2x plus 1/2.
heat the grill to 550-600 degrees so that all of the residue from former cooking burns off. Sear the patties on directly over the fire and turn the fire down from high to low and let cook for 8-9 minutes. Flip the patties, keeping the fire on low and let cook for another 8-9 minutes. Put the patties on the warming rack and cover with a slice of swiss cheese or sharp cheddar while you toast the buns over the fire. This should take about 2 minutes.
Lettuce, pickle , sliced onion, sliced tomato, Mayo, mustard on toasted buns. Yum. Drizzle a little Vidalia sweet onion dressing on the lettuce.
Beef pot roast with salad. Check.
Gray Skies Gin ‘n’ Tonic. Check.
Bottle of Merlot handy? Check.
TV still working? Check
And… I’ll go listen to my new Wharfedale speakers. Enjoy da futbal, comrades!
Anyone take a knee yet? Just wondering what stupid horseshit is going to occupy the next week.
Inflate-gate in reference to you-know-who’s ego.
I doubt you’ll see kneelers. NBC probably has a rate structure for advertisements based on viewership. They don’t want those numbers to tank just to make a retarded political point.
Didn’t see any kneeling. There appeared to be some crying. Not sure what that’s about.
I expect the Eagles to win. I mean everyone has to run out of luck eventually, right? However the fact that the Pats are facing almost universal hate, for whatever, has me hoping they win. Also, I don’t want the burning city of Philly to burn it’s way down the Atlantic super corridor and set Balmer ablaze while I’m sleeping. Our own natives are perfectly capable of that themselves, thank you.
I think the Eagles should win, but I expect the Patriots to actually do it. I also anticipate several instances of questionable refereeing that just happen to fall in the Patriots’ favor, at which point there will be riots in the streets.
Half convinced this hand signer is a fake.
Pretty sure the deaf people know the lyrics by now.
Was everyone standing? Everyone?
Looked like it. Putin has already hacked our Superbowl!
A-10s????
The Rose Bowl got a stealth bomber.
TRUE DOMINEERING SPECIES CARRY 30MM AUTO CANNONS
There shouldn’t be government flyovers at sporting events anyway.
At an indoor stadium… sounds like a government job.
Remember the government pays the NFL to do it. That’s our taxpayer money at work.
ZARDOZ CALLS HEADS!
So does STEVE SMITH.
Huh,
I always thought STEVE SMITH would be a tails squatch.
You learn something new every day.
Your Future Reptilian Overlords welcome a Brady mammal victory!!!
May Zardoz and his brutal cleanse the Eagles fans who are legion assholes!!!!!
This guy needs an Eagle-butting.
I stared at that way too long trying to figure out what it was.
We have nothing but snacky crap. Salami, Pepperoni, colby jack, crackers, buffalo bites, buffalo chicken dip, cheese-filled pretzel sticks.
Here’s what you need.
*gorge rising*
I picked up some Chinese so it would be an all American evening…
Give me one good reason I should skip an essential meeting to watch this thing.
beer
Tell them it’s a national holiday for Americans.
MURICA!!!!!!
FUCK YEAH
Uhh… I got nothing.
I have work to do here, some of which involves gun cleaning and maintenance.
Well, let’s see.
Range Time … check
Gun cleaning … check
Doing Taxes … Epic fail of biblical proportions.
Thankfully I only have to fill out a 1040 EZ.
Well, that and the fucking NY state form which is worse since you also have to fill out a separate form to duplicate the W2.
I have to do two state forms. I just pay an online service, it’s worth every penny.
I make well under $15, and still have to pay a ridiculous amount of money to the state.
And the sales tax line is evil. The state’s addiction to taxes is far worse than any addiction to opioids.
I have never used the sales tax line. Come at me, bro.
Do you itemize or just leave that line blank?
I itemize only to deduct state taxes. And I never would have discovered that if the software didn’t point it out to me.
Fill out? There’s software.
I make little enough to free-file, but I only have to do the 1040EZ and the “simple” NYS form (which is actually four pages).
Huh. I remember NY had a simple one-page form back in the day.
My return last year was almost 200 pages.
I never thought I’d say this, but I’m jealous of you.
I want to adjust the sights on my 10/22, but it was damn windy here, so no range time.
I had to put the red dot back on my Victory. That was my only objective in shooting today.
I’m now back to shooting 100 from bench at 50ft. Just need to do that single handed and I’ll be on the bullseye team forever.
Install sights
Clean gun
Euthanize cat
*sigh*
What happened?
Oh, last stages. Frosty was nearly 21. He’s been limping for a while with rheumatism in one leg, but has been basically OK, but this morning, couldn’t walk, very weak. Vet checked, kidney function was declining, heartrate up, blood pressure up, clearly in pain.
It was time. The problem with just about all the pain meds for cats, they’re hard on kidneys and on blood chemistry, so it was either prolonging the inevitable or the unthinkable, so we chose the unthinkable.
I’m so sorry.
Harder for those who remain.
But he had a good innings and destroyed the local rodent population, which is how it should be.
Euthanize cat? I’m sorry.
I don’t know what would make me happier: the Patriots losing or Collinsworth getting taken out by a sniper.
Oh who am I kidding? I’ll be happy if either happens.
I always want Gus Johnson’s voicebox to explode on live TV.
Carrie Underwood wardrobe malfunction.
Collinsworth is annoying af. I have never been able to understand how he has a job.
He beats the fuck out of Bob Costas. Costas knows nothing about any sport, yet is ever present in the olympics, the triple crown, usually the SB (surprised he’s not there) and he has lately taken to being all anti-gun,anti-hunt and basically a douche.So yeah, I prefer the politically conservative collinsworth to Costas types all the way.
Or John Fucking Gruden. I was so happy the day I heard he got a coaching job. I just hope he does well enough to never go back to TV.
100% agree.
I’m posting from my tablet
Now I’m posting from my PC, does it work?
Nope.
I’m logged in on two devices (desktop and smartphone) right now.
This drive is impressive.
No kidding.
Fuck. Stupid penalty cost them big time.
Aw jeez. The hell was that?
Nice arm grab by the d back as he tries to jump. No flag, but of course the Pats would have gotten that call two weeks ago. Hell, they’ll probably get it later tonight.
Posting from my tablet, yes it does, very cool!
Why wouldn’t it?
These are not the droids you’re looking for.
Not an Eagles fan, but did love Jaworski, Walker and Carmichael back in the day. My favorite player of all time, however, was a Charger. Chuck Muncie. Either I got old or the players got more self absorbed these days.
I hadn’t noticed.
Intentionally dropped the subject of my sentence to avoid exactly ^that.
Go Pats! I’ve been assimilated by the Borg.
Letting them play?
Oh good, maybe all those “Dilly-dilly” fucks will get massacred in the next commercial.
Splain the di!!y thingpplease
It’s retarded.*
*That was the explanation
Some stupid commercial that apparently only plays during football. I haven’t seen it since the only other football game I saw this year.
I think the worst commercials are the ones for Ford trucks. I hate hate hate kinetic typography.
The F-150 commercial that says “it didn’t raise the bar, it is the bar” really bugs me… Raising the bar means you’re well above the bar, causing the bar to adjust upwards. If you’re the bar, it means you’re the minimum passable quality.
Careful, or I’ll turn this whole threat into a rant about the phrase “steep learning curve”.
I only know about it because this happened.
Listening to the game on the radio. I assume you’re talking about some TV ad?
Nice!
Apparently that was quite a catch/can’t see it
NICE!
Oooh mmissed
TV sucks!!
Justin Timberlake is the half-time act? Oh fuck me.
I have 500 on Janet Jackson not making an appearance.
So Dodge is homophobic. Why else use a cover of “We Will Rock You” instead of Freddy Mercury?
Licensing fees.
The quality of commercials has gone waaaaay down from 10 years ago.
Has the almost certainly hilarious Skittles ad made a debut? My fave is the light beam eyes/mouth
Really Dodge? A female Viking?
I noticed that, too.
So… did NBC have trouble selling commercials this year? Seems to be a lot of commercials for their own coverage of the Olympics.
I heard on the news this am that they sold 500 mil worth so I don’t think so.
Ha! Nice kick dumbass.
Ditto.
Jaws- edited for Old Man with Candy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPeOHrlDL_Y
Jews?
Also, that’s great.
Now Im watching the puppy bowl
Sitting in an airport after working with my Japanese counterparts for two weeks straight and a fucking snowstorm just blew in. I swear to ZARDOZ if this delays the flight I’m going to start cleansing something. Metaphorically speaking of course (I know you’re there Preet).
The rest of my unit has the day off to watch the Super Bowl.
My boss has signed me up for two more work trips this quarter while he sits in his office and reads a magazine, one of which is over my wife’s birthday.
I just want a ZARDOZ-damn breakfast burrito.
Does your boss hate you? Hope you have all the rest of your desired holidays off.
I don’t know. He’s a lazy POS though, that’s for sure, and I do my job well so it’s easy to foist everything onto me. RHIP.
Just needed to vent.
Your boss sounds like a waking erection.
I will probably be able to push back on the one over the wife’s birthday. He’s lazy but I don’t think he’s heartless.
Snow? Where are you?
Fukuoka.
Hey, Fukuoka too buddy. He just asked a simple question!
Ha!
I chuckled. Thanks.
Wow. Unusual. Watching the girls trying to navigate icy sidewalks in 3 inch heels sounds fun.
It’s been snowing and frigid all week.
They seem to handle it gracefully.
Yep. This is the coldest winter I can remember. Kyushu people are pretty mellow about everything in my experience.
The barracks I stayed in just had hard pads for pillows. Is that a normal thing in Japan?
Global warming FTW
Not for us civilians. Sometimes they have pillows that feel like they’re filled with cashews. I don’t know WTF is up with those.
I suppose it builds character.
Victoria Principal was born in Fukuoka. (Her father was stationed there during the occupation.)
It snows that far south in Japan?
I suppose it could be cocaine but I don’t think so.
Dwayne Johnson stars in “Die Hard With a Prosthetic”.
LOL
Husband dubbed it Die Harderer
Oh my friggin word, this prime rib rules. I inserted half a dozen garlic cloves, then coated with Salish smoked sea salt and cracked black pepper. Crusted by searing the surfaces in 1:1 butter and bacon fat before cooking at 325F. Dyno-mite. Steadily using up Playa-recommended Minors au jus, but it really needed no sauce.
Served with steamed broccoli & asparagus, endive braised in garlic and chicken broth, and slices of salmon pie.
Thumbs up.
I am so friggin stuffed and drunk on North Country Cider. Thinking 30% serious about going to the Vomitorium so I can eat more.
Sounds like a fun night.
Damn that sounds good
Highly recommend the smoked salt instead of kosher. Waaaaaaaaaay better. I had exclusive access to the exterior fat, which is arguably the best part.
Will try, I have some smoked salt.
Visual 80 minutes later
That’s perfectly cooked. Perfect amount of fatty too.
I stood around in the frozen food aisle looking like a jabroni until I settled on cheap boxed Chinese. I really just went for beer.
Americanized Chinese food is definitely comfort food.
That sounds really good. How big was it and how long did it take at 325 after a sear?
Referencing the pic reply to JB, about 70 minutes. 3lb roast.
Also my butcher rules. He reallicated a chunk of fat above a section on the top that was lean before he tied it up.
I think we could be friends.
Aren’t most glibs friends? Hit me up if you’re ever in northern New England.
No, most glibs are Tulpa.
We are all Tulpa
Of course no pass interference there and the only replay the show is from behind the receiver and d back.
More strangeness from Oglaf
lol
This one’s to insult Caput. ‘cos I’ve been nice to him for too long.
On the one hand, Tom Cruise. On the other, Simon Pegg. *shrug* I’ll probably see it.
Simon Pegg was funny in Hot Fuzz and that zombie movie, but he has sucked in everything else, including that Star Trek reboot.
Aw, come on. He’s great in everything!
that was very funny and enjoyable
In the words of Chris Tucker:
You got knocked the fuck out!
That seemed unnecessary.
What, the hit or the seventeenth move he put on empty space before he turned into that freight train?
I love 5 beer Sloopy. That’s a few beers before he turns into Professor Sloopy.
talkative, coherent, even insightful.
Yes. I’m not sure what he was waiting for.
Still early but I think flavored Diet Coke wins worst commercial.
Without a doubt. Bring back the prosthetics people.
Mostly flipping away from them but the few I caught were all commercials for garbage food or soda with famous people. How original.
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2018/02/04/china-accuses-us-cold-war-mentality-over-nuclear-policy.html
***
China decried the U.S. for its “Cold War mentality” on Sunday after Washington announced last week that it plans to diversify its nuclear arsenal with smaller bombs.
The U.S. military believes its nukes are seen as too large to be used and wants to develop low-yield bombs—a move that has prompted condemnation from China, Iran and Russia.
“The country that owns the world’s largest nuclear arsenal, should take the initiative to follow the trend instead of going against it,” China’s defense ministry said on Sunday, reports BBC.
China said it “firmly” opposed the Pentagon’s nuclear policy review.
On Twitter, Iran’s Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif also lashed out.
“The US Nuclear Posture Review reflects greater reliance on nukes in violation of the #NPT, bringing humankind closer to annihilation,” Zarif said on the social network.
Russia’s foreign minister called the move “confrontational” and expressed “deep disappointment.”
However, America is concerned that its arsenal won’t remain an effective deterrent without being modernized. The U.S. has named China, Russia, Iran and North Korea as potential threats.
***
larf
As if any of those countries would care about how the US felt about their weapons programs.
Diversity is our strength!
She reminds me of Vincent Adultman
“I went to the Wall Street and did a business.”
***
ESPN writer Jemele Hill took another shot at President Trump Sunday, accusing him of using “racial pornography” to rally his voting base.
Hill made the comments in an appearance on MSNBC’s “Politics Nation with Al Sharpton” in response to a question about Trump’s State of the Union address.
In his speech to Congress Tuesday, Trump appeared to take a jab at players protesting during the national anthem. While acknowledging a young boy who had organized a campaign to put flags on veterans’ graves, Trump said his actions were “why we proudly stand for the national anthem.”
“I think this is going to be probably a constant theme for the president,” Hill said, “because it’s a very easy dog whistle, it’s low-hanging fruit, it’s what I like to call racial pornography because it’s a way to stoke his base.”
Hill added she thought Trump to be “weirdly brilliant because he has been able to hijack the entire conversation and to make this about patriotism and really, if anybody knew even the smallest bit of American history, they would understand that what the players have chosen to do is the most patriotic thing that you could.”
…
Last month, Hill was re-assigned from her highly-touted role as co-host of ESPN’s 6 p.m. “SportsCenter” program, which the network had re-branded “SC6.” She is currently a senior columnist at The Undefeated, an ESPN site that focuses on sports and race.
***
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/02/04/anti-trump-espn-writer-jemele-hill-says-president-uses-racial-pornography-to-stoke-his-base.html
You know who else liked to stroke their base?…
Window washers on the ground floor?
Kent Hrbek?
Baseball umpires?
Geddy Lee?
Winner.
Technically, he liked to “slappa da base mahn”.
Trump?
Potters?
Pythagoras?
The projection is strong here.
I… can’t even.
Also, “MSNBC’s ‘Politics Nation with Al Sharpton’”. Come on. Really?
She is currently a senior columnist at The Undefeated, an ESPN site that focuses on sports and race.
It focuses on blacks people, not sports and race. There is nothing I’ve ever seen on there about Asian or Hispanic or even sports from white athletes’ perspective.
It also, strangely, does not allow comments. Same as ESPNW. One can only guess as to the reason why. My guess is to avoid any form of reader feedback.
You mutha fuckas are messing with me with all the thread switching.
(tuns over tables in the temples and goes off to watch somebody make water into wine)
Busy making wine into water.
Well, beer.
Nice catch
Seems like I saw someone getting clothes out of a donations dumpster, I would just let them.
https://hotair.com/archives/2018/02/04/good-samaritan-gun-comes-aid-utah-police-officer-attack/
Maybe he wanted to get first dibs on the raspberry beret’s before they got to the second hand store.
12-3 Eagles. Patriots totally comfortable.
DERP forgot about the field goal.
BOOM!
Go for two here!
Good call.
Damn, what? My feed got seriously behind.
Man, Pats are seriously inconsistent.
an occasional big play and that’s it. pretty rough otherwise
They’ll win when they’re good and ready
Any game with a NE receiver KOed is aw-righty with me.
2 Games in row Patriots lose a receiver to a cheap shot. Not even a flag on the obvious penalty. If the NFL gives a duck, they need to start throwing people out of games.
Listen, you can’t stand out there and break dance for 10 seconds and not expect somebody to be standing there when you turn one time too many.
Cheap shot, my ass.
Takinthe crown of your helmet and driving it into the side of an opponent’s helmet when he’s stand almost straight up is a cheap shot.
He’s a professional athlete hitting somebody from the blind side. That’s ducking cheap.
The NFL pretends to care about concussions but allows that shit.
Blind side? The dude had the ball for three seconds and was spinning like a Tasmanian devil. When is the guy with the ball responsible for being aware of his surroundings? By your logic, the answer is “never”.
If he had been drilled in the ribs, I’d agree. Instead, with a completely free shot, he drove his helmet into Cook”s head.
So he’s supposed to alter his physical position to accommodate some dumbass who isn’t paying attention while spinning around?
Come on, man.
Yes. You really aren’t supposed to hit your opponent in the head. Why is that confusing?
I played 8 seasons of rugby, making far more tackles in those games than the average NFL Safety. Never once did I drive my head into the head of a ball carrier – and I’m a whole lot less athletic than Malcolm Jenkins.
I’ll buy “penalty”, but not “obvious”. I didn’t see it in regular speed.
I did. There’s no way in hell you could throw a flag on that.
At some point it’s incumbent on the player with the ball to make himself aware of his surroundings and act like a football player instead of some drunk dude doing the fucking Macarena at a wedding reception.
I totally disagree that was a perfect example of an illegal hit.
SP made mimosas. I made tabouleh to start, and falafel with home-made tahini. webdominatrix made cucumber salad.
Not much fiber.
I anticipate porcelain damage.
Wife is drinking Bacardi Wolfberry, splash of cranberry, sprite zero.
Clear liquor is for rich women on diets.
-Ron Swanson
Lol.
Why doesn’t she just drink a wine cooler?
Put a piece of celery in you mimosa.
What? No mention of my super fabulous best ever homemade pita?
I didn’t want to traumatize jesse.
Hahaha!
Eagles seem like they’re picking up the slack for the Pats.
Dodge gonna get ripped a new one for that.
I was thinking the very same thing.
“I need a penalty, Mr. Ref.”
“Here you are, sir.”
Pretty much.
So far Gronk has been covered well. Still half a game to go, though.
Another missed XP. It seems like when kickers lose it, they lose it quickly. Maybe Gostkowski is at the end of the line.
On the other hand, he just made a nice special teams hit.
my feed is way behind
4 Ways Queer And Trans Parents Are Raising Revolutionary Children During The Trump Era
https://everydayfeminism.com/2018/01/queer-and-trans-parenting/
***
Sometimes becoming a parent feels out of my reach. My wife and I both have uteruses, and sperm costs too damn much.
Even adopting feels like an unattainable dream. It can cost upwards of $40,000 to adopt, and LGBTQ couples have previously been barred from adopting and fostering because of their gender and/or sexuality.
Raising kids on working-class salaries here in Seattle, one of the world’s most expensive cities, isn’t exactly ideal. And despite its progressive reputation, this white haven often feels hostile to me as a Black queer non-binary person partnered with a Black queer femme immigrant.
I have enough heart to be a parent, but I have to ask myself: Do I have the will to raise a Black child when our people are being killed every day? In the last week of December 2017 alone, four Black queer women were murdered, and I can’t help but picture me and my wife in their shoes.
Furthermore, what do you tell a child of queer parents when lawmakers believe that businesses should be allowed to use religion as an excuse for banning LGBTQ people? Policies are constantly being put on the table that strip families like mine of their humanity.
Despite my fears, I remain open to parenting because of my friendships with trans, non-binary, and queer activists of color whose parenting is bound up in their quest for liberation. Their existence dares me to dream of parenting one day.
***
Islamic militants believe the west is weak, corrupt, and doomed. I read things like this and find it hard to disagree.
And despite its progressive reputation, this white haven often feels hostile to me as a Black queer non-binary person partnered with a Black queer femme immigrant.
*eye roll*
Nope – still not buying it that that isn’t parody.
Yeah, tell me about it. /father of 2
Sometimes becoming a parent feels out of my reach. My wife and I both have uteruses, and sperm costs too damn much.
I call bullshit.
You win the internet.
Sometimes becoming a parent feels out of my reach. My wife and I both have uteruses, and sperm costs too damn much.
You are in a relationship that is sterile by definition, quit your bitching!
Furthermore, what do you tell a child of queer parents when lawmakers believe that businesses should be allowed to use religion as an excuse for banning LGBTQ people?
You tell them to grow up, open a business and cater the those masses of banned people and get rich as fuck.
Oh, no. No. Danny McBride. Fuck me.
Thank God. I love him in Eastbound and Down, but anything else… fucking hell.
Dundee?
Metrodome what is it like queer or sumpin? Tss…
When watching sports, it’s quite fun to yell “GO BITCH!!” at a player on the team you’re rooting for.
Speaking of bitching, I’d like to see unsportsmanlike conduct penalties called on players (usually receivers) who mime the flag-throwing motion to try to get a penalty called.
I could go for that if the receiver has no case. If it’s close play and I’m a ref, I’d let it go.
NICE
GO FOR IT GO FOR IT GO FOR IT
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woA-ogAQL6E"Go, go for it, go for it
Cleanup, aisle me.
I was hoping that was the clip.
Seems Foles catches better than Brady. Ha Ha
That was hilarious! In my head, the Eagles called that timeout specifically to be like, “Nick, listen, this is gonna be good…”
That was awesome! That’s some trickernology right there.
HAH!
Schumer urges Trump to allow Dems’ ‘FISA memo’ to also be released
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/02/04/schumer-urges-trump-to-allow-dems-fisa-memo-to-also-be-released.html
***
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and fellow congressional Democrats are ratcheting up the pressure on President Trump to release to Democrats’ version of Republicans’ so-called FISA memo, in the interest of “full transparency.”
The New York senator and others made their plea Sunday, two days after Republican leaders of the House Intelligence committee released their memo, which alleges “abuses” by the FBI and Justice Department when requesting a surveillance warrant from the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, or FISA court, on then-Trump campaign adviser Carter Page.
“I believe it is a matter of fundamental fairness that the American people be allowed to see both sides of the argument and make their own judgements,” Schumer said.
***
In your dreams, moobz.
He should allow it. Announce public hearings and the roster of people being subpoenaed at the same time:
McCabe, Comey, Power, Podesta, Strzok, Page, and anybody else who might have been in on the conspiracy.
There’s no need for more “memos”. Declassify and release the FISA Applications. all of them.
10-point lead at the half.
Fly Eagles, Fly!
Up, up to the sky
Looking good, but remember last year’s second half. Eagles have to stop leaving points on the field as every damn one is likely to count.
I’m really not supposed to be fucking around on my phone right now. This meeting is boring as hell and I’m sitting in the back where nobody is watching me. I could probably rub one out and not get busted.
I could probably rub one out and nut get busted.
High five
Hey, just like Doug Peterson on that 4th down call: GO FOR IT GO FOR IT GO FOR IT
You know who else did unspeakable things in Japan and didn’t think he’d get caught?
Me?
Mamoru Samuragochi?
What’s that? I can’t hear you.
Larry Flynt?
Paul Tibbets?
The plant manager at Fukashima ?
Shoko Asahara?
Jeff Altman when he did “Pink Lady & Jeff”.
(for the win)
go for it
Democratic congresswoman caught playing ‘Candy Crush’ during SOTU
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/02/01/democratic-congresswoman-caught-playing-candy-crush-during-sotu.html
***
It’s a scenario all gamers can relate to.
You’re deep into a game, maybe rescuing Princess Peach in “Super Mario Bros.” or stopping your family from drowning in “The Sims.” But then you have to stop gaming and go to work.
Well, one Democratic congresswoman has come up with a solution — just keep gaming. Rep. Brenda Lawrence, D-Mich., was caught doing exactly that on her phone during President Trump’s State of the Union on Tuesday.
A photo, from Getty Images, appears to show Lawrence playing the addictive match-three game “Candy Crush Saga.”
Fox News reached out to King, the developers of “Candy Crush,” to confirm whether it was one of the many Candy Crush spinoffs, or a competitor. They did not respond to that request for comment.
Lawrence’s office also did not respond to a request for comment.
Lawrence was not the only one to be somewhat distracted from Trump’s remarks. The Daily Mail, which first reported on the photo, also noted that Rep. Bonnie Watson Coleman, D-N.J., was reading responses to her tweets, while Rep. Joyce Beatty, D-Ohio, viewed a draft press release reacting to the speech.
***
Timely and appropriate responses like that are why everyone thinks we’re all Tulpa socks.
I remember during the 2012 gun control debate in Colorado when some civilian disarmament proposals were being discussed at some sort of town hall meeting, and one of the gun banner politicians was observed accessing Facebook on her laptop while citizens were talking about their rights.
“can you believe these people asserting their rights? like, im right here lol. smdh”
*post*
go for it
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/02/01/democratic-congresswoman-caught-playing-candy-crush-during-sotu.html
Last year during the Superbowl half time Westwood One (radio coverage) interviewed Trump, Maybe they’ll read some tweets this year.
Melania is going to read the FISA memo in her underwear.
That would suck on the radio.
She has a FISA memo in her underwear?
Toyota with the virtue signal of the game.
When did the Eagles hire Marty Schottenheimer?
“Hater’s gonna say ‘deflate’.”
I think someone deflated the wrong balls, and that’s why the kicks have been bad.
Wiggas are worse than niggas.
Can I get a Manhatten? Please?
Hi.
She asked for a Manhatten, not a Manhattan.
Whatever gets me drunk.
Not picky.
*reads hand*
MINNEAPOLIS!!!
“Justin Timberlake” is an elaborate prank, right?
VERY elaborate, but yes.
The guy is talented.
He’s very good at what he does, but it’s dubious as to whether what he does is entertainment. I find his schtick boring.
I don’t support the practice of torture, but I’ll make an exception for the costume designer.
Well, at least so far it’s been a functional wardrobe.
Half time show has been gratifyingly forgettable so far. That’s all I really want, in the end: not to remember a damn thing about the musician, or the performer, or the cinema, or the crowd. Good white noise.
Well, except for this meme.
Still waiting for Janet Jackson
Why’s he got the Walter White look?
Wife: “So does Justin Timberlake’s wife make him hire fat unattractive dancers and dress them in horrible clothes?”
If only there was some way to understand the motives of Islamic militants. I guess it will forever be a mystery.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2q-BOrtzzjU
Is that fucking Justin Timberlake?
Nope, Bryan Cranston.
Yes. This is the most boring half time show I can remember.
That one belongs firmly to Coldplay
That one was awful. This was boring.
I’m nearly positive that it was.
That was actually nice. Tribute to Prince, in Minneapolis.
After all, his performance was one of the best in Super Bowl history.
This. Bow to your master.
This show is a mess, but the Prince thing was nice.
And, I say this as someone who really doesn’t hate on JT.
I’m okay with JT. He’s had some of the funnier SNL appearances that I remember, and his music ain’t all bad.
JT died for your synth.
Yeah, not a fan, but he’s been funny on SNL and he’s talented enough that I’m not offended by his fame.
The music is tedious and boring af. Makes me want more commercials.
Yup.
I was hoping the big surprise was going to be a bevy of Q’s girls having wardrobe malfunctions.
Yeah, that was classy. I get the impression JT is probably a pretty nice guy and I find his professional accomplishments impressive, but I don’t like a single one of his songs.
This. I respect the quality of his craft, even if I find the style boring and tedious.
And now it’s a Target commercial.
Wow, my boy JT is killing it. I feel like I’ve been transported back to the early to mid 2000s.
If you’re not being sarcastic, somebody should take away your squidbillies hat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
Too subtle?
With all the talk about how the NFL is alienating its core audience, you’d think they might shoot for something a little less detestable than the guy every hardcore football fan has wanted to give a wedgie since high school.
What is it about “core NFL fan” that makes people picture us jumping up and down with excitement for Justin Fucking Timberlake?
They’re still in trying to appeal to chicks and kids mode, when they should be . . .
They should be worried about the XFL, which can’t come soon enough.
How about this?
https://78.media.tumblr.com/2c8f3c3dd8a13726571bb4ad94d53a1e/tumblr_p3jm7zWLvU1rxf7n9o1_500.jpg
LOL
Contrary to what you predicted last night, I didn’t go to the Super Bowl party. I stayed home and cleaned guns. Now it’s time to read and go to bed. I haven’t watched any of this Super Bowl thing.
You’re watching the game?
Nope, skipped it all.
Still cringing over people reaching out to grab dude’s sleeve. How fucking… submissive, groveling.
Celebrity worship is a weird thing
Timberlake isn’t fit to polish Prince’s heels.
Truth.
Who?
The guy who did the halftime show is Justin Timberlake. Her did a duet with a projection of Prince who is probably one of the top five musical geniuses of the last 100 years.
I had muted the TV during halftime. That’s thoroughly disappointing (but par for the course for the modern NFL and NBC)
I couldn’t hear it, thank Og as I was in the kitchen grilling some marinated sirloins and having a bourbon cocktail. I just caught a glimpse and thought…really?
John Krasinski will never not be Jim Halpert to me.
I didn’t even watch the show and I agree.
OH HOLY SHIT A SCIENTOLOGY COMMERCIAL
Seriously? I walked downstairs for a beer.
I too thought that was weird. Second time today.
Might be time to bring back linkies to the South Park awesomeness.
https://youtu.be/Q4EfhH_w48w
I hope they waste their money on some more.
I missed it too. That’s… sinister.
“do all these body-thetans make my ass look big?”
Oh, I always thought he looked like a joke, but now he looks like George Costanza.
It’s an improvement.
The first half virtue signaling award goes to Toyota for the multicultural football fans commercial.
Runners up include:
Dodge for the MLK commercial
Verizon for the first responders commercial
Levis for the diverse people wear jeans commercial.
Who’d have thought the only people trying to be funny are hocking laundry detergent?
The Doritos with Peter Dinklage / Mt. Dew with Morgan Freeman 2fer commercial was pretty funny . But yeah, Tide has the best so far.
Budweiser puts in a strong showing in the virtue signalling race with the water ad. Probably not enough to win the final award, but a solid contender.
At least Budweiser actually walked the walk and DID the thing in their ad that they’re trumpeting. The rest of them are just ‘look lots of different folk enjoy our product!”
T-mobile with the grand slam of virtue signaling takes the lead!!!
Yeah, that just took every other contender and stomped them until there was nothing identifiable left.
Yeah, that was pretty solid.
Kraft with a solid attempt, but not enough to unseat T-Mobile
Groupon’s entry was confusing, but certainly not a danger to T-mobile’s runaway victory.
Coke, being a traditional heavyweight, made a solid play for the silver!!
Yeah, it was pretty subdued if still an obvious ploy for the SJW
votercustomer.Hyundai with a “tearjerker” that probably won’t make the podium.
Stella with a half-hearted attempt.
Extra points for Matt Damon, though.
Tin Foil Hat Time: Belichick throwing this game as FU to Kraft/Brady Faction.
NFW.
Finally a good commercial.
Jack In The Box dropping a “what the f—-“ on Martha Stewart FTW!
Huh, I must have missed that one.
The trailer for the new Star Wars installment looks promising. I’m hopeful it’s at least as good as Rogue One, because the new sequels both sucked royally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Szts88zY4o
The trailers always look good.
That’s part of the problem.
If only they made the movie in the trailer.
Instead, it always the same movie with different characters over and over again.
You’ve been Gronked!
Don’t tell Steve Smith.
Still not buying Bud.
For a beer that’s been accused of being canoe sex (fucking close to water) that was a bit of a weird choice for an ad.
great minds…
Oh shit. Bud cans labelled “Water”. The memes write themselves.
I think the only reason people drink Bud is because they’re too embarrassed to drink PBR.
Did he just say Kia was fueled by youth? Like orphans? Is Kia a libertarian company?
“The creatures outside looked from Bud to water, and from water to Bud, and from Bud to water again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”
(ref: the Budweiser commercial that was just on the TV)
I just read that book for the first time a few weeks back. Not my favorite dystopia, but quite enjoyable.
In my market after the half time show we had a local ad ran by a solar panel installation company with some self righteous global warming/climate change doomsday shtick saying we all need to call them to save the planet. I am not opposed to solar at all but if and when I screw some of those to my roof I won’t be buying from them. Fuck off fear mongers.
The terrorists and Putin have already won.
There was a comment way up thread about crying at the start of the game. May be because Colts LB Edwin Jackson was killed in an auto accident this afternoon.
today I learned
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skull_Tower
***
Skull Tower ([Ћеле Кула, Ćele kula], pronounced [tɕel̩e kula]) is a stone structure embedded with human skulls located in Niš, Serbia. It was constructed following the Battle of Čegar of May 1809, during the First Serbian Uprising. Serbian rebels under the command of Stevan Sinđelić were attacked by the Ottomans on Čegar Hill, near Niš. Knowing that he and his fighters would be impaled if captured, Sinđelić detonated a powder magazine within the rebel entrenchment, killing himself, his fellow rebels and the encroaching Ottoman soldiers. Vizier Hurshid Pasha ordered that a tower be made from the skulls of the fallen rebels. The tower is 4.5 metres (15 ft) high, and originally contained 952 skulls embedded on four sides in 14 rows.
***
This is a good opportunity to re-recommend the book “The Bridge on the Drina”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bridge_on_the_Drina
its a brilliant novel. it basically takes a god-eye view of a bridge in Serbia, and you get to see 400 years of conflict between ottomans and austria-hungarians.
short summary: they don’t like each other.
Worse – bridge is on the border between Serbia and Bosnia (although it’s all part of Ottoman Empire when constructed).
The city it is set in is on the Bosnian side. Although Austrians only turn up for last 40 years (1878-1914).
The book itself is amazing, yes. Just about anything the author wrote is worth reading.
excuse me for simplifying for the sake of a one sentence summary.
i considered saying, “moozies vs. various flavors of not-moozy”
Here it comes. They’re gonna call him out of bounds.
Surprise surprise surprise!
The new definition of a catch
Whoa! I guess the check from Kraft didn’t clear quick enough.
Chris Collinsworth is so salty.
That’s because he’s a cunt.
Collinsworth was annoying as a cincinnati ben-GAL, lemmetellya
Kalifornia.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/think-california-politics-is-on-the-far-left-fringe-just-wait-for-the-next-elections/2018/02/04/80e679c2-05e5-11e8-8777-2a059f168dd2_story.html?utm_term=.c9f312d0d21c
I love it. Please continue in this direction.
♫ On the road to Chipotle, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of patchouli hanging in the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night.
Welcome to the state of California
Such a tarded place, such a tarded place
Plenty of derp in the state of California
Any time of year (any time of year) you can find it here
The campaigns will test for national Democrats the most useful positions on issues important to the party’s base and will provide a preview for national Republicans of the popularity of those stands.
If it plays in California, it will play anywhere? I’m not sure that’s how it works.
How much was Jeff Goldblum paid that he was willing to do that commercial?
I’m kind of embarrassed to own a Wrangler after that commercial
Yeah. When you have to tie your product to a movie there is a problem.
I mean, Jeep Wranglers are iconic. They scream individualism and ruggedness. They are both masculine and cool chick feminine. It is one of the most American brands in existence right up there with Harley Davidson. And they pick Jeff Goldblum and Dinosaurs? Fuck that noise.
Can’t be more than that goblin Steven Tyler.
Steven Tyler looks rough in this Kia as. Like the love child of Karen Carpenter and the Geico caveman.
At first I was like, who is that old woman with circus freak facial hair?
Ouch.
Wow that commercial with Aerosmith guy. LOL UR OLD NOW LOL.
Was there a stab at de-aging him there at the end? I wasn’t watching closely.
Yeah, they CGI’d young Aerosmith singer guy stepping out of the car in front of a bunch of young groupie chicks.
Let’s, now hear me out guys, let’s get someone with the physique of a guy getting freed from Auschwitz and the attractiveness of a cro-magnon and make him our spokesman. That’ll play well with our target audience of young people.
-Kia head of marketing
Does their target audience know who he is?
Yes. That’s a mid-life crisis car.
KIA makes one of those?
They think they do.
Well, that’s what they’re going for, anyway.
Pretty sure we’ll be seeing more of Blacture on this site.
::Magic 8 Ball Says “Guess again”::
If people post links to the Root then we are going to see Blacture.
Nice dive, Gronk. And way to buy it, ref.
Fucking with the holding, goddamn.
Eagles blow this lead this late in the game and the rioting will be even more schadenfreudentastic.
There ain’t no riot like a Philly riot ‘cuz a Philly riot is Phiolent.
/don’tevenknowdon’task
Whew – I’m glad I’m not on T-Mobile.
I kinda wish I had them so I could call up tomorrow and switch to a different carrier. No, T-Mobile, I am not with your virtue signalling boo-shit.
You don’t want to pay for social signaling?
Yeah, new first place for leftist goop award.
WAGE GAP!!! jfc
T-mobile’s coverage and service is so shitty you wouldn’t even be able to call and complain about their intolerant SJW advertisement.
Yep, my buddy just switched to T-mobile and he couldn’t get a signal last week at Mountain Creek, a ski mountain in north Jersey. He had to text his friends my phone number (Verizon) so they could call me to coordinate.
Radio announcers shouldn’t say a game ‘is fun to watch’, thy’re othering their own listeners, gah!
Screw the Patriots
*nothing follows*
you need to put a thread together with all these ads everyone is complaining about, it would save me the work of having to find them myself later : )
What dystopic hell is T-Mobile selling? It’s like a nursery in a progressive universe where babies are confiscated from parents and incubated in Marxismpods.
I was waiting for a punchline or something and it… didn’t come.
Wait, they’re finally redoing “Logan’s Run”?
Sweet!
I would watch the fuck out of that I don’t care how awful it would inevitably be.
Ditto. Although I’d still want to see classic Jenny Agutter getting out of those wet clothes in the cave.
Hell you know me and I still agree she was fine af.
That was indeed deeply weird.
Yeah, I was just coming here to say that T-Mobile won’t be getting my business. They are supposed to sell phones, and cellular service. These companies need to be shown that there is a consequence for jumping on the SJW band wagon.
Nice! I just hit the over on Gisele shots during the game.
Always take the over on Jizz shots.
With her definitely. She has actually gotten better looking as she’s aged.
*Nasally white announcer voice*
“You know, Jim, those missed extra points come back to haunt you.”
Not listening, but did I get it right?
Briefly knocked out my mouse with a static shock from the carpet. Weird.
Good thing you dont have a cat, amirite?
BULLY!
They really need to cut it out on this “RPO” shit.
It’s like cloud computing… the concept has existed forever, but now there’s a buzzword, so they say it every third sentence.
LOLWTF?
I thought I couldn’t dislike Eli Manning any more than I do. I was wrong.
It’s weird. Peyton is terrific in commercials. Eli has all of the personality of a stone slab.
Is that fair to the stone slab?
I’d have thought that in a Eli / Odell pairing that Eli would be the woman.
Ever since he started his career by going John Rocker on San Diego I’ve hated him.
Hats off to Jack in the Box and Martha Stewart.
I read that as “Jacks off to Hat in the Box and Martha Stewart”
All things are possible.
Guess I don’t get that one in the East.
Yeah, I didn’t get a Jack in the Box (which makes sense) but I also didn’t see a Scientology commercial.
Yeah, me neither. Interesting they didn’t go national.
I hate the diet coke commercial but that girl grabs me in a weird way.
In the pussy?
HM wrote a Monster ad.
LOL
I’d like to think that if I build my own headphones I’d use them to listen to music that wasn’t total shit.
I saw a Chinese kid making headphones in a hovel and I immediately thought, “That little motherfucker is making a pair of knock-off Beats. Damn Chinese have no respect for IP!”
Hey guys have you all thanked our first responders yet?
Tom Brady time.
TB got juiced in the locker room for that hand during the half. Its just now sinkin in.
700 yards passing in the first 3 quarters … so where is the defense?
Of course that means a defensive play will decide the game.
Not watching the game, am I missing anything?
Lots of uncensored boobs
Didn’t start watching until midway through the second quarter, which is when the Harlem Globetrotters took the field to wild success and failure
LOL
Not watching the game, am I missing anything?
T-mobile went full prog
LGBT-mobile?
NICE!
Well I’m glad I’m not their customer.
When a commercial shows babies and has a harsh feminine narrator you know its SJW town. It being a T-Mobile commercial was a total shocker. I thought it might have been some political group or something a little local to Minnesota.
Right? That narrator is why I thought it was a gag ad. Just incredibly off-putting.
Narrator was definitely a true believer. Got shriller as she named more and more things to be upset about.
So what does it mean that the background music was a rendition of “All Apologies” by Nirvana?
Fucking Germans.
Just be ready for a national conversation about wokeness next week.
What if I just want to sleep in?
Holy crap, squirrlz!
Call me old fashioned, but I liked it when they played defense in football.
“Its name is the recipe, you dumbfuck!”
*laughs hysterically*
That was awesome!
Grudgingly admit it was a decent, if all-over-the-place, ad.
I was expecting Alexa to come back online and berate all the shitlords.
Bezos looks like an alien
Looks like = is.
Maybe Mr Lizard can weigh in?
Ya he’s one of ours. We let one of our logistics specialists apply for incursion school. Well his father was well connected and as you can imagine he passed. We gave him an assignment to help automate your delivery systems in the hope that it would actually make your species more resilient to invasion (for sporting purposes). But we discovered that he single handedly made you more susceptible to basically everything while delivering useless crap at an astonishingly fast rate.
Anthony Hopkins. Nice.
Big balls there.
That was a dick’s out for Harambe play. Good job iggles.
Kinda hating tackling players making the out gesture. Yeah, dumbass, you knocked the other guy over. That’s your job. Shut up and keep doing it.
Me too. It’s going to change the ref’s mind.
Um, not.
Straffin? I made a comment about “Pink Lady & Jeff” way upthread. Im quite proud of it.
In case you’re to young, Id be happy to explain.
Something to do with that cheesy 70’s pop duo?
What if the Glibs wrote Superbowl commercials?
RAWR! STEVE SMITH HATE RAPING CHINESE. IS HORNY AGAIN HALF AN HOUR LATER AND JAPANESE DENY EVERYTHING. BUT THANKS TO CAPITAL ONE CARD, GETS BONUS MILES AND CASHBACK FOR EACH PURCHASE TO USE FOR MORE RAPE!
WHAT’S IN YOUR WALLET?
I’d propose getting huge bribe from Mr Lizard’s people to put (more) subliminal propaganda into the videos.
Oh, and high collaborator positions in upcoming space reptile regime.
Wait, I changed my mind – have Q fill entire running time with top-tier boobs.
I’m starting to believe! Please don’t score too quickly here.
Sloop? Its the “Truman Show”. They had this script worked out 2 seasons back.
Brady will get his 2 minute drill one way or the other.
Don’t go out of bounds there, you silly bastard.
OMG Hyundai.
I’m noticing a trend of “look how fucking caring we are”. *barf*
I don;t want to cry when I buy a car 🙁
Say Nick Foles again. I dare you.
Wow, did they actually annoy the shit out of any Hyundai owners who went to the Superbowl like that?
So they didn’t get a free freakin’ Hundai?
What a rip off!
The TSA takes you aside and puts you in a secure room, and all you get is a thank you?
You’re just glad none of your orifices were explored.
STEVE SMITH ON BREAK
Explorifices.
I’d be pissed. I’d be like, I should have bought a Honda so your loved one died.
This game has been as good as Justin Timberlake?
What?
“This game has been just as good as Justin Timberlake”
lulz
“This game has been as good as Justin Timberlake!”
/”I can’t believe they make me say this shit. *sob*”
“the movie 8 Mile changed my life!”
Did all of the ad execs get together and decide on a theme this year? Little to no funny but loads of inclusiveness, feel good randomness not relating to the product, and handicapped athletes.
It’s the usual appeal to lefties: please kill us last.
I don’t know much about football, but I thought the ball only needed to cross the plane?
Oh shit I Gilmore’d
if you catch it while falling down, you have to keep possession after you hit the ground or else it’s an incomplete pass. Crossing the plane only matters once you “become a runner” by completing the catch.
Me neither. These rules are way too fiddly.
They better get the two point conversion or they’ll lose in regulation.
Goddamn regulations are killing American jobs!
If this comes back, I’m out.
He was a runner. That better be a TD.
Yup, this is the right answer.
I agree. He made a “football move” after the catch. Then broke the plane.
Hyundai cures cancer apperently.
Hooray for corporations!
If the opposing player never touched him, he can’t be down by contact.
They’re saying it could be incomplete. Not down by contact.
Of course he’s a runner. He RAN for three steps.
Football move doesn’t have to be a tuck.
BOOM! goes the dynamite
I’ll give two points to Julie Ertz, is that her name?
Time for the Tom Brady show, Episode 6.
In what universe is that not a touchdown?
New England
That was a shitty play call.
I’d hate to sound like the announcers, but do I assume a patriots TD and go to bed?
How the fuck is that not PI on the conversion?
No kidding.
I’ve seen it called for much less.
One fuck-up. One. That’s all I ask.
YOU ARE A GOD!!!!!!!!
There ya go!
ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!
Quick make another wish!!!
And I just want a million dollars
That was suppose to be a Friends quote.
Heh
WTF are the commentators still arguing about? He was clearly a runner and the refs made the right call.
Of course they just missed that PI, but whatever.
i hate the fact that every touchdown is automatically challenged.
my years of working w/ the brits had them endlessly complaining in my ear: “American football is, ‘someone does something for 10 seconds, then they spend 5 minutes talking about what it means” Its like a game being run by teams of lawyers.
That’s funny, I like to think of it as contact British parliament.
Brilliant.
Of course soccer is every bit as full of subjective judgement calls. See today’s Tottenham v Liverpool match that left everyone baffled for proof.
That’s an understatement. That fucking linesman must have laid a BIG bet down.
of course, but the clock keeps running and players just have to suck it up.
The NFL has got to address this crazy going to the ground analysis.
I want a really lax catch rule. Woohoo more fumbles
OMG OMG OMG
Ditto!
are they going to tuck rule them?
*Taps*
Not yet. They can get a stop and get it back with a minute left.
8 points?
Low percentage.
Dude has missed an XP already.
Fuck fuck fuck
STRRRRRRRRRRRRIPPED
Hyundai and Super Bowl in the same sentence makes me thing of Kanye West.
Yes, I’ve had that line in my head for half of the game.
Is there anything more American than big tits, round asses, the Super Bowl and pointless, contemptuous social signaling from major corporations?
http://archive.is/YFDSt
Lord Almighty 18.
Thank you. I needed that.
Can I get #13 without the tattoo?
this
I’ll just take number 3, please.
The Super Bowl is meaningless to me, but this women are not. Orgy.
HA HA
MATT DAMON!!!
MATT DAMON!
MATT DAMON!
damn it
Stella Artois just ensured I never buy their beer.
Yup. Cause you know what happens year 5 + 1 day? They have dirty water again. Because if they haven’t figured out how to do it by now, they aren’t going to figure out how to maintain it.
I saw a brief clip, I think it was featured in a Mister Metokur video, of some Asian dude chatting with some African dude about the years since colonialism… and what the fuck had they done with independence? They hadn’t developed any new or worthwhile infrastructure. They hadn’t even maintained the shit they were left over half a century ago! And the African man looked murderous, because this all ran counter to his clearly Marxist inclinations, but he had no argument for it. His country had done nothing but impoverish its people. It was a remarkable exchange.
Probably a country that still gets tons of aid. I’d argue that continuing to send aid there is worse than slavery. But I’m a shitlord, so what do I know?
Wouldn’t want the reality of the African post-colonialization situation get in the way of prog feelz would you?
Yes, yes I would. MY BiL is an advertising exec in NYC. He handles their Africa aid campaigns (among others). Travels there multiple times per year for business. I gave him Dead Aid as a birthday present a few years ago. Needless to say he was not pleased as he is a prog. I was amused though.
When a beer company is advertising water, that’s a pretty good indicator.
Budweiser wants its commercial back.
They’re both the same company, so…
Oh, figures. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
They’ve been running that campaign with him for a couple years now.
The “we’re so good” ads don’t bother me as much as the “you should believe this” ads.
MATT DAAAAAMON
Fake field goal! COME ON!!
Are you a Pats fan?
MATT DAMON!!!
I think I heard “Praise the Lord” with that FG
From 320 million red-blooded Americans.
LOL
WTF Belichick??
Shut the fuck up Collinsworth!
I’m really hoping for OT. This is too much fun.
no, I want to get home so I can have a beer. I still have to sit through the post game before I can leave, no OT.
Sad Brady time!
He’s spazzin’ out.
Rooting for the Eagles, but really not looking forward to the “Eagles Win Beats Trump” stories.
I think those stories might be limited. Especially when the OMG Trump doesn’t use milk with his cereal story breaks!
OMFG TRUMP OVERFED KOI
These people went full retard already. There’s no coming back.
Thank ZARDOZ flight was only delayed five minutes.
Headline tomorrow- “Brady learns he’s 40. Being old sucks”
Headline Tuesday: How the Patriots are still the best team and football and will win the Super Bowl next year
WaPo Headline Tomorrow: The Patriots are evil DRUMPF worshippers and the beautiful, wonderful, socially conscious Eagles destroyed then and it proves that DRUMPF will be impeached, the Dems will sweep to unanimous ultra-majorities in all areas of government, repeal the Constitution and hit evil Rethuglikkkans with the good ole’ Zyklon B.
http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/page/NFLpowerrankingsx180204/2018-nfl-power-rankings-way-too-early-offseason-preview
Why wait for Tuesday?
What’s James Monroe doing in the GM’s box?
I almost went with Ben Franklin. I’ll defer to you.
LOL
+1 keeping with Philly
This smile will last for at least a week.
I thought that was Millard Fillmore.
Come on, touchdown. Keep the circus going. MAXIMUM CARNAGE
Congratulations Eagles!
Hooray! Say no to American royalty!
Howie Roseman is trying to quit cigarettes. I know Nicorette gum when I see it.
JUVENILE BLUSTER, COME ON DOWN!!
Burn the shit down.
See ya glibs. It’s back to lurking for me tomorrow
We need 1.5 GB of Thicc MP4s for HM, stat! Commence Emergency Twerk Protocol.
I think Foles earned himself at least a shot at a starting position. Not with the Eagles, of course, but he’s definitely better than the bottom tier.
The Brady butt-hurt is nearly as good as Maddow melt-down. Nearly.
What a game..
Hey, Black Sabbath!
Nirvana on timpani at one point
Rockabye Baby version, you mean?
one commenter: sounds like horror movie music
#ownersboxsowhite
Yeah, but that one Philly guy needs to realize the Surrender Cobra is for the loser, not the winner.
Owners? Like they own people? That’s so racist!
Well, if American progs are anything to go by, lefties don’t care about black people owning black people.
I love the Gatorade shower, but it killed a coach once.
The William Henry Harrison of the NFL. That’s honorable, surely.
Bundesliga beer shower or GTFO
Final virtue signalling ad awards:
Gold – T-mobile’s “let’s air the basis for our next shareholder suit to 110 million people” angry diversity ad
*huge gap*
Silver – Toyota’s “token religious people like football” ad
Bronze – Verizon’s “thank a first responder” wankjob
Honorable mention – Blacture’s ad, which is ineligible since it’s a social advocacy company.
And I noticed it’s okay to drill someone in the ‘nads if they hold the wrong views.
Ooh, yes. I had forgotten that one.
See Sloopy, I told you Blacture would get discussed.
They’re drinking the riot punch in Philadelphia tonight.
So does that mean the city will actually be better off tomorrow?
Collinsworth is going to keep lawyering those TD’s?
Collinsworth can go suck a turd for the next 7 months and not infect my TV time.
It’s the Super Bowl. He had to bring out the extra cringey crap tonight.
Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been Bob fuckin’ Costas.
Christ what an asshole.
Was that Kevin Hart trying to negotiate his way past the security guards?
Yeah, that was an odd situation there.
#lombarditrophyspeechsowhite
HAHAHAH “I don’t know what would have happened to the city of Philadelphia…” You might.
Still waiting for a single black man to appear on the plinth.
Super cute baby. How old is
Oh, fuck. He was born two years after I was. I mean, superbowl champ aside, he’s got a kid? What the fuck am I doing?
Don’t go down that road. You’ll get in a funk. Trust me from age 43 and in the same boat.
Awwwww
I just got a text from my SIL: my 20-something month old nephew. “I want to hang out with Uncle!” Now I’m getting teary.
How old are you in months?
The best age is 252 months….when they can buy you beer.
Enjoying life?
It’s true.
JESUS CHRIST he name dropped Jesus CHrist.
Now that that’s over, can we get back to defending the integrity of a secret court and the fine men and women of the intelligence community?
The Eagles winning the Super Bowl is clearly a repudiation of Trump, says a bunch of people who don’t watch football and hold those who do in a good deal of contempt.
I think the Eagles are the only team that had no kneeling or sitting players all year. At least that’s what i’m seeing going around. It’s Drumpfs all the way down.
What is that based on? I thought I saw an article “explaining” it but it’s already slipped my mind.
Predicting the FULL RETARD takes this week.
Nah, I mean why is Trump being brought into it?
THERE IS NOTHING ELSE.
Malcolm Jenkins was one anthem protester. If the White House invites the Eagles, he should go, try to build a bridge with Trump. My guess is he’s just another coward who’s gonna score points with the woke crowd with #BoycottTrump.
Boycott Scouts should be a thing Trump tweets about.
So, did Brady leave the field without shaking Nick Foles’s hand or anything? Because if he did, that’s a classless, bratty move.
FootBall? AC/DC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f2g4RMfhS0&index=19&list=RDGMEMJQXQAmqrnmK1SEjY_rKBGAVMleoLPWAcwT4
Tchaikovsky had the news.
Hey coincidentally I just cracked open a can of this.
#nbccolorcommentatorssowhiteandsosoawkward
I want a gif of that fist bump.
Well that seals it. The reign of terror of Trump is over. I eagerly await DU’s incisive analysis on how the Super Bowl proves Love Trumps Hate and the reincarnated spirit of Vic Lombardi will slaughter all Rethuglikkkans.
What is DU?
Democratic Underground. Ground zero for prog-derp.
Derpocratic Underpground.
Thanks.
Also Depleted Uranium, which we shoot out of our Abrams tanks instead of mere steel and lead.
In the case of Democratic Underground, it is equivalently dense and toxic.
Or University of Denver.
University of Dallas.
FOOTBALL IS NOTHING. HOCKEY IS ALL. GO BLACKHAWKS!!
(has a sad because the hawks absolutely suck this year. But yay hockey!!)
So the Patriots lost? I let you know if I hear that shit from the anti-Trump Patriots supporters at work.
I DARED NOT POST
I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL
I’M NOT EVEN DRUNK
I’M NEVER SLEEPING TONIGHT
I REALLY DO LOVE YOU ALL
Not drunk but clearly about 3 pots of coffee deep.
whut
I couldn’t drink (due to illness/medication) the first two games of the playoffs. I dared not change a thing about how I watched this game.
CONGRATS, MAN!!!
Congratulations, the best team won.
Holy shit, my no more potato chips and weekday Mountain Dew resolution is finally paying dividends. Lost 5 pounds since a couple weeks ago.
Cry me a fucking river.
https://bearingarms.com/bob-o/2016/11/03/parents-dead-robber-really-mad-victim-gun/
““If there was to be a death, it was not the place of the employee at Pizza Hut. That is the place of law enforcement,” said Hairston”
WTF?
Damn your nimble fingers.
I’m guessing law enforcement wasn’t there.
“If there was to be a death, it was not the place of the employee at Pizza Hut. That is the place of law enforcement,” said Hairston.
I get she’s a grieving mother. But holy shit lady your son was armed and committing robbery. This is what happens.
said she has been left with dozens of questions
That seems oddly specific. Dozens, I tell you! More than several, but not innumerable.
36, to be exact.
I have a number of questions cleanly divisible by nine! It’s an even number, a two digit number, and the second is a multiple of the first. Only one is by itself a prime number. You can use a common math trick, involving adding the constituent integers, to determine whether the nominal value is divisible by one of the integers. Those are the questions I have OKAY THANK YOU BYEEEEEEE
Uhhhh…3?
BYEEEEEE to be read in the voice of Queen Elizabeth I from Blackadder 2.
Oh, so i shouldn’t feel bad when i shoot people in the chest. Its nothing personal.
I dunno, it’s a pretty good way to stop the threat.
Train stopped quickly and I ran into a guy. He offers me his seat and says “enjoy your stay in Japan.”
This is a strange place…or maybe it’s the equivalent of “bless your heart.” Or both.
“Stay” means spend your money and get the fuck out.
So triggered.
Eh, fine by me.
I love helping out visitors to NYC.
#payitforward
And that’s the only cheer you’ll get out me this year.
These post game guys need to stop talking so I can get out of here. I’ve had to listen to this crap since 1pm CT.
Deployed friend posts picture of himself watching the game on a tiny screen. Indignant conservative asks how he can possibly support these people when they clearly don’t support him.
*facepalm*
Im not clear on who doesnt support whom?
The indignant conservative is aghast that my deployed friend would watch football because the players don’t support the troops…or something.
Don’t question the righteous indignation man.
Seriously? I need a primer on all this. Let me see if I kept up…Republicans *want* war someplace cause spreading democracy, stemming off commynisms. upsetting regimes that we didnt properly prop-up, etc. But Democrats also *want* war, cause money, causes, refugees, potential voters…
I hope your friend replied that the social justice conservatives whining and sniveling is more annoying than the social justice warrior crowds whining and sniveling and both groups should just stfu.
Terrible quality, but what can you do. From the archives of things that couldn’t be made today.
+1 Kipling
“I’ve beaten you and slayed you,
By the very God that made you,
You’re a better man than I am,
Gunga-Din.”
Now that’s a deep track.
*backs down, shamefaced*
Bob. I remember that episode well. And I would. Just sayin’
TRUST FALL
https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/960380084568936448
Her did a duet with a projection of Prince who is probably one of the top five musical geniuses of the last 100 years.
…If you say so.
I’ll never get it. Stevie Wonder, George Clinton, David Bowie, Brian Eno—sure. (Though, 100 years is a long time, and I’m not sure any of my picks would be pop artists.) I’ve never understood the appeal of Prince’s music. Every one of his songs sounds like a rough draft. I mean, he was a great performer.
So he’s like Beyonce. Great performer, mediocre music. 😉
OK, I’m exaggerating for effect. I don’t really fully get the “genius” part of Prince’s music, but it’s definitely better than mediocre. But it’s not like anyone is here anyway!
*goes full Hihn*
After I had a belly full of pulled pork and chicken wings I fell asleep. What’d I miss?
Alls i knows it’s a good day to be a sports antagonist like me in New England. I wonder if I’ll be able to find any Eagles gear around town.
No morning left links? A Glib overlord must be sleeping off their Super Bowl celebration.