2018 Predictions – Open Post

I will be the first to say, NEVER look to me to predict the future. So, take anything I say with a grain of salt, the size of the Rock of Gibraltar. But let us have your predictions (whimsical or serious) in this post….and remember, the internet is forever!

Just a bit outside…

Mine – We will see a bit of a market pull back, which will be heralded as the END OF TRUMPONOMICS! Within 6 weeks we will have recovered all of it, and then some. Bubbles will still inflate this year.

The fundies in Saudi Arabia will strike back, the results will be an amazing amount of bloodshed that the world will mostly not know about. Iran will suck, and her young people will be really pissed off, but the regime goons will win again.

No sportsball team I like will accomplish squat.

 

Over to all of you.

 

Comments

195 responses to “2018 Predictions – Open Post”

  1. PieInTheSKy

    I predict clean cheap nucleate fusion is achieved

    the la nina may drop global temps a bit causing much excessive and hyperbolic rejoicing among some and silence among others

    I predict the Lakers will go on a 30 game winning streak and make the playoffs while lonzo ball comes from behind to win RotY

    I hope I will be less depressed get my alcohol consumption under control and lose 6-7 kilograms (gained 5 this year)

    1. Hyperion

      You can definitely achieve the weight loss thing. After getting more and more overweight year by year, I’ve managed to lose 14 kilos (30.8 lbs) since the 3rd week of September. It’s all diet, I’ve managed to walk a little more, but I haven’t reduced my alcohol consumption at all. I plan on starting on that now, so I can lose the remaining 10-15 kilos or so to get to my correct weight level.

  2. Mad Scientist

    I predict STEVE SMITH with enact record levels of depravity in 2018. And by enact mean…

    1. Oh sure, cherry pick an easy one.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Hey, you never know. STEVE SMITH could suffer a debilitating dick sprain and not be able to rape for several weeks.

        1. …for several hours.

          FTFY.

          1. Mad Scientist

            Look, he could really really sprain it.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            AND BY SPRAIN, MEAN RAPE..

          3. But Enough About Me

            Hey, if perchance he has the misfortune to corner Felonia von Pantsuit on one of her nature walks, STEVE’s schwang could rot and fall off.

        2. Threedoor

          Pyrones disease is a bitch.

  3. PieInTheSKy

    Saudi Arabia and Iran will be mostly status quo IMO

    Will Angie Merkel be still chancellor in Germany? Who knows

    Kim Jong Asshole will have a heart attack

    Trumpy poo will not be impeached

    No important democratic party figure will have serious legal troubvles

    And Liviu Dragnea will not go to jail where he belongs

  4. Mustang

    ANARCHY! CHAOS! RUSSIA!

    1. AlexinCT

      Yeah, this shit will go on as long as the left will not be in power..

  5. CPRM

    I predict the dark gospel of SugarFree will be thrust upon the world and the people shall tremble in terror. Hat and the Hair will become the most popular thing on the internet, and the overlords will turn on us like the sick capitalists they are, and the comentariat will once again be cast into the wastelands of the internet. Or it’ll just be a really fun year on here. Hard to say.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Yea, verily. Amen.

  6. Mr Lizard

    Well the invasion of your puny world certainly ain’t happenin today

      1. Mr Lizard

        Too hungover

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Your slow when your Cold, easier to catch……..

      1. juris imprudent

        Do you have any idea how loud a global bombardment will be? I say we keep the reptile cycling between too drunk to care and too hungover to tolerate the noise.

  7. I will continue in my efforts to remake the world in my image.

    1. MikeS

      If your master plan continues to include Saturday Gingermageddon, you have my vote.

      1. DEG

        Seconded.

  8. The MSM doubles down on everything, vaporizing whatever microscopic levels of credibility they have.

    There will be lots of hooting and hollering from the DNC-MSM about how the Dems will ride a blue wave to take back the House and the Senate.

    Pubs will lose some seats in the House and possibly even pick up a few in the Senate, retaining control of both and causing massive teeth-gnashing and butthurt.

    Obamacare truly collapses with the repeal of the individual mandate.

    Lindsay Lohan finally transitions to hardcore porn.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I think Q is on the money. No doubt that the pundents and pollsters will be grossly wrong about the midterms and that we will all benefit from more yummy tard tears to bath in.

      1. Hyperion

        I have my orphans starting early on new tear barrel production.

        1. juris imprudent

          Next November should be vintage, given they will be digging really deep having shed so many for so long.

    2. ElspethFlashman

      The most exalted One will run for mid-term senator, from Washington DC.

      Hillary will run for mid-term senator of wherever she’s from.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        She’s from wherever you want her to be from.

  9. PieInTheSKy

    Sugar Free will be revealed as a shill for big artificial sweetener

    Swiss servator is in fact shown to be an Italian servator and less worthy of respect

    Zardon is just a dude not a talking head

    Riven will accidentally post nudes on glibertarians

    Sadly sloopy will also accidentally post nudes on glibertarians

    OMWC will admit to secretly eating bacon after intentionally posting nude pics on glibertarians

    jesse.in.mb and Playa Manhattan are revealed to be the same person, avatars of Los Doyers

    Heroic Mulatto confesses he likes only pasty white platinum blonde anorexic women

    Brett L – I got nothing

    STEVE_SMITH is sadly STEVE SMITH

    Other site founders will still be mostly MIA in the comments

    SP may or may not catbutt this comment although I still have my card

    1. Catbutt? Never! That was highly amusing!

    2. SP

      I have never cat butted anyone, ever. It’s not my way. If I think you have transgressed at that level, I just delete and ban your account. No warning shots from me, unlike these other bleeding heart Founders. SP stands for Scorches People.

      1. Tundra

        Hawt.

  10. John Titor

    It’s better if you’re all surprised by what’s coming.

    Well, better for me.

    1. *narrows gaze*

      Cheater!

    2. RBS

      Oh no, I’ve seen that film on xHamster.

      1. ElspethFlashman

        Go on . . .

  11. Gilmore

    **Past performance is no guarantee of future results.

    the only good forecasts are the ones that see a potential inflection point, not “more of the same”. more of the same is already priced in

    https://twitter.com/jamestaranto/status/947895156178550784

    consensus is death, and must be avoided at all costs.

    the important thing is to correctly identify the drivers of change; the change itself is just a byproduct. you will always get the timing wrong. just try and be less-wrong.

    i need another beer.

    1. Gilmore

      predictions:
      (some of which violate my own creed. i need more beer)

      – mueller got nothing. will collect scraps and present them as something, but unchargable/undefinable, but, like comey, suggest irresponsibilty. because moral scolding is du jour
      – islamic “spring” aint over. bursts of discontent in other areas of seemingly stable arab world. unrest in places like saudi arabia, qatar, bahrain
      – TWX and ATT merger will fail
      – oil does well (duh)
      – trump/congress will propose new regulations on crypto
      – possible north korean coup. i put this last because i think its something tossed out every year

      1. DEG

        – possible north korean coup. i put this last because i think its something tossed out every year

        One of these years it will happen.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Fusion!

          1. DEG

            I laughed at that.

      2. – trump/congress will propose new regulations on crypto

        This is a biggie. There’s been a massive uptick in business opportunities type media buys/banner ads everywhere you look, especially in the last month, due to the hot interest in bitcoin speculation. Lots of pump & dump / profit taking manipulation going on because suckers want a piece of the action of whatever crypto might be hottest.

        There’s just way too much real value stored in BTC at this point for it to go away unless all the major economies decide to coordinate and curb-stomp it and it becomes highly criminalised.

        1. Number.6

          Not very hard practically. Politically, tricky.

          If Bitcoin et al are officlally defined as a currency, their trading would almost automatically fall under the auspices of the CFTC. The problem is that I suspect that governments don’t want Bitcoin et al to gain credibility by being called a currency.

        2. Highly criminalized like fiat currencies?

      3. Gilmore

        if i were me (fortunately, i am) i would have jumped on the “islamic spring aint over + oil will do well” and asked why those things could happen simultaneously when normally there would be some inverse correlation.

        i have no answer other than, (burp) “its about reserves” and i also need more beer

        1. westernsloper

          The inverse correlation between ME unrest and the price of oil ceased when the US became the fracking king. There are active wars…..everywhere(?) over there and it means shit to the price of oil. I was sniviling about that when it went in the toilet. I would mumble, “why is the price of oil tanking there are wars everywhere and ISIS is rolling across Syria and Iraq?”

          1. Gilmore

            The inverse correlation between ME unrest and the price of oil ceased was lessened when the US became the fracking king.

            that’s part of where i was going. but i’m fuckin’ lazy today

    2. Suthenboy

      “Making predictions is hard, especially about the future.”

  12. Floridaman

    I predict the media will continue making fools of themselves, providing us ample snark fodder…. does this work, or is it to obvious?

    1. juris imprudent

      No more obvious than where the sun will rise tomorrow.

  13. The Elite Elite

    The Trump/Russia collusion will finally be revealed. Trump will be removed from office and sentenced to 1000 years in prison. Hillary Clinton will be installed to the office of the President. Neil Gorsuch will be removed from SCOTUS and replaced with Rachael Maddow.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Is that in Revolations?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Do they Revolve?

      2. juris imprudent

        I was thinking the Book of Revulsions.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Dammit! I came here to post the same prediction.

      1. Hyperion

        Come on you guys, you’re supposed to be serious here, that’s sarcasm.

  14. Everything will mostly get a little better as it always does Trumpsters will see every little positive as proof that Donny is a super genius TDSers will ignore any good and inflate or create any bad things . Hillary and Obama will continue to be in the news and instead of ignoring them people will complain that they wont go away. Likewise people will complain about the MSM but still scour every article for mock-able stupidity and outrage.

    Some famous people will die.

    Cops will kill more people and wont go to prison

    There will be 5-7 mass killings with all the attendant dead body standing and finger pointing, but no new gun control laws will come of it, thankfuly

    The whole sexual harassment business dies down and is forgotten by summertime.

    1. Hyperion

      “The whole sexual harassment business dies down and is forgotten by summertime.”

      I’ll add a little to that. The #MeToo movement will die down AFTER the Democrats decide that since it worked in Alabama, it has to work in every single race in other red states. It will backfire in rather spectacular fashion with more Democrats get ensnared in it. Their losses will be greater than the gains.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        I think it’s already massively died down. A few more twitches and it’s done.

    2. juris imprudent

      forgotten by summertime

      Excellent, just in time for bikini season.

  15. Yusef drives a Kia

    Elton John, Mick Jagger, or Vince Furnier will die,
    Lil Kim will lob a missile at Japan
    I’ll have a heart attack, for real

    1. Elton John, Mick Jagger, or Vince Furnier will die

      I’m going with one of the Yardbirds CLapton, Beck, or Page.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        That works too, it’s time….

        1. Yeah it’s an easy one. Tougher would be guessing with 30 or 40 year old star ends up with a belt around his neck and no pants on.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Lindsey Lohan, Justin Beiber, how’s that

          2. Number.6

            Oh, i dunno – Charlie Sheen?
            Shia LeBoeuf?

          3. The sad thing is I have the Wikipedia obituary page bookmarked to see if anybody worth doing a blog post on died.

            There are any number of people I expect to see die, such as 103-year-old Norman Lloyd, or those with advanced illnesses like Joanne Woodward. 🙁

  16. AlmightyJB

    Peak Derp will continue to be only a myth as prog ramblings are now indistinguishable from parady.

  17. DEG

    My 2018 predictions:

    National reciprocity still won’t pass, and even if it does, it won’t amount to much. The Heller case and the holes Scalia left in it will someone be involved if national reciprocity passes and goes nowhere.

    The government will not cut spending.

    The TSA will continue to exist.

    Trump will appoint another Supreme Court justice.

    One way or the other, my work situation will change.

    I will go back to Oktoberfest in Munich.

    1. Hyperion

      Kennedy resigns?

      Roberts resigns?

      The old bag keels over?

      1. Hyperion

        I meant retires, not resigns.

      2. DEG

        Kennedy or Ginsburg go is what I think.

        1. Number.6

          I think it’s pretty clear that RBG wanted to hang on for Hilldog to get in, and obviously, that ain’t happening.

          She’s running on Manischewitz and Seconal now and I think she’s only there because she doesn’t want to be seen as the one responsible for another Trump Appointment.

        2. kinnath

          I would love to see Ginsberg replaced by a conservative woman justice. The agony of the left would be delicious.

          1. Number.6

            A conservative MINORITY woman justice.

          2. kinnath

            We need some Asians on the court.

          3. Number.6

            How about an Inuit?

          4. kinnath

            I like it.

          5. OneOut

            Condalica Rice

          6. Hyperion

            My dream is that Trump gets to replace both Kennedy and Ginsberg and then out of nowhere, Trump deschedules weed. It would be the final straw that sends the left into total insanity.

          7. juris imprudent

            I am slightly frightened by the thought of collective apoplexy, and also intrigued, and a little amused at the prospect.

            Well done.

        3. Hyperion

          Imagine if it’s both before 2020. The left are going to be even more unhinged. They’ll probably try to kidnap Kennedy and prop up Ginsberg like Weekend at Bernies.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        She might not die, but medical incapacitation is a definite possibility.

        1. +1 William O. Douglas

  18. JaimeRoberto

    Markets will fluctuate.

    1. Eternal storyline… ‘Stocks Close Mixed”.

  19. Rhywun

    Gorsuch will be the deciding factor in a 5-4 decision in favor of Janus vs AFSCME. Pubsec unions will begin a slow but inevitable slide into irrelevance and cause state and local governments to get their financial act together.

    1. Number.6

      state and local governments to get their financial act together

      Oh you! Always with these jokes!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Without SALT, they gotta do something, You know,running out of other people’s money

        1. Hyperion

          They will do something. They’ll try to find some way to keep their own citizens from getting any type of tax relief from the tax cuts. I’m guessing that they raise the state and local taxes to the level that will negate the federal cuts. That’s how fucking low they are.

          1. Hyperion

            Why do I feel that way? Because the rat bastards in Annapolis raised tax rates on a holiday in the middle of the fucking night, on filthy rich families making more than $100,000 a year. A family in MD making only 100k would need section 8 housing if their taxes were raised anymore. The politicians here are pure fucking scumbag thieves.

          2. So they steal from the people in the middle of the night the way the Irsays left Baltimore in the middle of the night to escape eminent domain.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Ha!

  20. The Elite Elite

    Alright, now for some serious predictions.

    There won’t be a blue wave during the election. However, the Dems might steal an election using Gloria Allred to lead false charges of sexual misconduct against one of the Republicans running.

    The Han Solo film will suck, massively.

    The new season of X-Files will turn out to be decent.

  21. Tundra

    Vikings will beat the Pats in the SB, erasing generations of sporting angst and pain in Minnesota.

    I will continue to click on Q’s links and drop the gloves with pretty much everyone.

    Elon will be ousted at TSLA, the company will go BK and its remains picked over by the survivors.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Go Vikings
      Boobies!
      What about SpaceX ?

      1. Tundra

        What about SpaceX ?

        Oh, when TSLA starts to tank, Elon will try another strategic merger (waves to Solar City). It won’t work this time, and SpaceX will continue on.

        For awhile.

    2. DEG

      Elon will be ousted at TSLA, the company will go BK and its remains picked over by the survivors.

      I wanted to add a reckoning at Tesla to my list, but I think the market will stay irrational.

  22. Gilmore

    i have good feelings about the second season of Mindhunter

    1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      Loved the first season!

      1. Gilmore

        i had mood swings about its quality until the last episode. the ’emotional flatness’ of the main character was an annoyance, until the end when you realized he’s on the verge of nervous breakdown.

        it is a good show. tv in general is getting very good (and has been for over a decade now, but really its better than most ‘movies’)

        1. IntraveneousWoodChipper

          I likewise think that he is on the verge of breaking down, although his sidekick is also a good bet for that as well. Fuck his girlfriend sideways though, I hate her character now.

          I got to the end of the season and realized that I was hugely entetained without having seen any real sex, violence, or death. (Hell, even the language is not all that bad.).

          I predict that we see lots more disturbing stuff as they slowly increase the role of the BTK plot thread.

  23. Number.6

    Tesla opens a new plant in Starnesville, WI, enacting a new workplace policy where all personnel are called “comrade”

    U.S. Media corporations negotiate discounted rates on red ink for their headers, sickles, hammers become more ‘acceptable’

    Gaia thrives

    Entropy continues to increase

    1. John Titor

      Need to replace the hammer and sickle symbol, it’s too outdated and white working class.

      iPhone and avocado toast?

      1. *opera applause*

  24. Gilmore

    – CATO, LP, Kochs, etc… go more lefty.

    – progressives come up with new Boogeyman-term to replace “Nazi”

    1. Rhywun

      progressives come up with new Boogeyman-term to replace “Nazi”

      “Trumpist”?

      1. Number.6

        “Wypopo”?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          That is such a Lazy term,

        2. Brett L

          Y-P-po

      2. Floridaman

        BULLY?

        1. (snicker)

          (walks away laughing)

    2. John Titor

      Latter already happened with the all encompassing ‘alt-right’.

      1. Gilmore

        -that preceded nazi

        alt-right was scare term in 2016, nazi was scare term 2017. will see new buzzword prior to 2018 elections

          1. Not Adahn

            Let’s make this happen.

          2. Slammer

            Nice

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          SatanoPerv?

        2. John Titor

          Alt-right’s still going strong as fuck on Twitter and SJW circles, anything against the narrative is ‘alt-right’. I actually saw ‘Nazi’ used less than alt-right, white supremacist, and white nationalist this year.

  25. Hyperion

    I have one right off. In regards to what Krugabe (isn’t this the guy who loves writing articles claiming that deficits do not matter?) says, I predict the exact opposite of whatever he predicts. Same goes for CNN and about 9 out of 10 WaPo articles.

    It will be really cold this week and the warmists will continue to say it’s that cold because of global warming.

    Leftists will continue to shreek hysterically for years to come and will have no solution to anything, but they will move further left in 2018 and double down on identity politics. It will not go well and they will not retake the house or the senate in 2018.

    We won’t get humans out of low earth orbit in 2018, just like the last 50 years or so, but Elon Musk will continue to predict big things and seek more crony bucks.

    1080ti prices will continue to be too damn high.

    The rent will continue to be too damn high.

    Blue states will NOT lower property taxes and their will continue to be an exodus from blue states like Cali and Ill, which will start ruining other states and turning them into hellholes.

    Someone or several someones will once again pick dates and predict the end of the world. It won’t happen, again.

    There will be few decent new PC games releaesed and Steam will continue to be full of shit titles and side scrollers which have overwhelmingly positive reviews.

    Kim Jong Un will continue to be a fat dickhead.

    Trump will continue to tweet and the media will continue to shit their collective pants.

    Venezuela will continue to be a shithole.

    Nothing much will come out of the Iranian protests. And it will be forgotten again for a few years.

    Police misconduct will not be reigned in and more people and puppies will continue to die as a result.

    There will not be a new renaissance in France.

    Ok, that’s a few sure hits. Maybe I sure try something harder?

  26. Playa Manhattan

    I think some heads will roll in Venezuela. Before summer.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      To be sure, but who’s Heads? the peoples? or the powers? The Peeps aint got no guns,
      Bummer

      1. Hyperion

        Or food.

    2. Gilmore

      yeah, that’s a good one.

      maduro is a dead man.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Not even Cuba will take him.

        1. Hyperion

          I don’t know about that. The Castros, from what I’ve heard, were very buddy buddy with Chavez and Maduro is his hand picked successor.

          1. Gilmore

            Raul aint fidel, and Raul, contra the messaging, needs to continue to open up to the US because once he let a little economic reform in, the snowball effect will be “more”. Venezuela has no more cards to play w/ them.

  27. Playa Manhattan

    Leftist in-fighting will get worse.

    The “Socialism Now!!!” crowd will pull out some short term victories, fail at every opportunity, and irreparably harm the movement in the long term.

    1. Gilmore

      I agree the schism on the left is incomplete. i am mixed on whether the 2018 elections will unify or further fragment. i expect 2018 will actually see a short term reunification, and the types you identify as the “Socialism now” sorts will only rear their heads in 2020

  28. Robert Van Winkle a.k.a. Vanilla Ice will continue to be a moderately successful entrepreneur.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      2 to 1 odds that he gets pinched for stealing construction supplies.

      1. Brett L

        I think he gets caught about every fifth year. No bet. Make it 4.5:1 if you want my money on yea.

  29. Playa Manhattan

    Tesla will go the way of Chipotle.

    If any of you know the exact date for when that will happen, I’d appreciate a heads up.

    1. Floridaman

      Same, I need to know so I can put the bottle of champagne on ice.

  30. Playa Manhattan

    “2018 Predictions – Open Post”

    And by predictions, he means bets. Let’s do some New Years Day gambling. I’ll start.

    I bet that the coin toss for the Rose Bowl is tails.

  31. PieInTheSKy

    what will bitcoin cost at the end of 2018? What about ripple? dogecoin …

  32. Hyperion

    Mueller, under increasing pressure and more bad news about Fusion GPS the the Trump Dossier, will announce there’s no finding of collusion between Trump and Russia. The jubilant left will immediately descend into nearly suicidal grief and say that Meuller was a Russian all along! Then they will predict that space aliens will surely come save us from Trump.

      1. Number.6

        Holy fuck, man. Give us a trigger warning before you post something like that!

      2. MikeS

        Gah!

        1. Rhywun

          They follow you back and forth, don’t they.

          1. MikeS

            It’s fuckin’ creepy.

            *shivers*

          2. Floridaman

            Yeah I found that creepy when I first saw too.

          3. Floridaman

            Yeah I found that creepy when I first saw it too.

          4. Floridaman

            Apparently even the squirrels agree.

  33. kinnath

    The vast majority of working adults sees their net pay increase in February when new withholding schedules to into effect. Not a single SJW gives the money back.

  34. hayeksplosives

    I will travel even more in 2018 than I did in 2017.

    Obama will continue to yap and snipe in the background, building bridges in the way only the Lightbringer can.

    Female athletes will finally object to the inclusion of transwomen in all-female sporting events, and the shit will hit the fan for the lefties.

    We will never hear another peep about what went down at that concert shooting in Vegas.

    1. Number.6

      Q will start posting chive links of guys with 42″ racks and THICC asses.

    2. DEG

      Female athletes will finally object to the inclusion of transwomen in all-female sporting events, and the shit will hit the fan for the lefties.

      Already happened.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Yeah, you hear a few gripes here and there, but so far it hasn’t come to a head. With this being an Olympic year, it could be just the time to bring it center stage.

      2. AlmightyJB

        But intersectionality

      3. Hyperion

        Check this out:

        Trans fighter to blaze trail across France

        Ok, do I have this right? This ‘guy’ is going to tour across France and beat the crap out of women? Nothing to see here, I guess. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

        1. hayeksplosives

          From what I saw, “she” intends to continue boxing against men, so I guess that’s fair. (s)He’s not taking female hormones and plans surgery only after finishing boxing. So basically she dresses as a woman and wears lipstick, but is otherwise a dude.

          1. Hyperion

            Ok. This stuff is always confusing and I think this time…

            “When I started fighting (as a girl), I was afraid that people would not accept me,” she told AFP, wiping away sweat after a feisty round of training.”

          2. Hyperion

            “plans surgery only after finishing boxing”

            I see boobs in that pic. Yep, those are definitely boobs.

          3. hayeksplosives

            I think he means getting his junk cut off. For now he needs the testosterone.

        2. Fighting leagues should open unisex brackets. I would watch.

          1. juris imprudent

            Olive oil instead of vaseline. Lots of olive oil.

        3. Yusef drives a Kia

          It fights Men, FTA

        1. hayeksplosives

          That one is particularly bad.

          1. Hyperion

            Is that guy just trolling?

          2. hayeksplosives

            You have to think so. Might as well just buy trophies off eBay and dispense with the whole charade if you must have some awards on your shelf.

        2. Hyperion

          In the name of equality, let’s just throw out all gender restrictions. Anyone can compete in any sport, no divisions between sexes. How else can we be equal?

          1. MikeS

            The Feminist Moment is upon us!

          2. hayeksplosives

            I am such a sexist that I’ve only dated men.

  35. Germany win the World Cup.

    1. CPRM

      Speaking of Germany, I wonder how their rape counseling went last night.

      1. Mr Lizard

        EVEN STEVE SMITH FEEL JET LAG

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Fernando Alonso will retire and Race For Penske

      1. Mad Scientist

        Ferrari will agree to remain in F1 for the next several seasons instead of starting a break-away series.
        Seb will win the 2018 driver’s Championship, but Mercedes will win the Constructors’.

  36. Playa Manhattan

    Alec Baldwin does a weekend in jail for punching a police horse.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Mongo like Candy….

  37. Hyperion

    Sadbeard makes a comeback? I really hope this comes true, because I just feel there has been far too little Sadbeard as of late.

    1. Suthenboy

      It’s not like there is a lack of stupid to make up for it. I never dreamed the lefty propaganda train would have this many wheels come off. They really are insane. But yeah, more foaming at the mouth from him would be entertaining.

  38. Slammer

    The NYT will continue it’s slide down into the sewer, like this tweet

    “Iranian authorities have clamped down on Tehran after demonstrators across the country ignored calls for calm” https://t.co/M9G7x8lvAT

    1. Suthenboy

      Demonstrators ignored calls for calm.

      This story is a giant turd for the MSM. Eventually they are going to get their noses rubbed in the shit that Obama did with Iran. He turned his back on the last demonstrations because…reasons. He let their nuclear program ( and the Norks) progress. He gave the Mullahs over 150B in untraceable cash because he is totally not sympathetic to America’s enemies.

      God, I hate the left.

  39. trshmnstr

    – A “well respected” MSM outlet will try to make an earnest case for pedophilia to join the alphabet soup of aggrieved sexualities.
    – The Iranian instability will lead to a shooting war in Gaza within a month
    – #metoo will fade into obscurity by March
    – ANTIFA will come back with a vengeance, including one event with a large number of casualties (at least 4 dead)

  40. Gilmore

    https://twitter.com/FINALLEVEL/status/947925815123234816

    i follow Ice t and donald trump. i often think their tweets should be randomly interchanged

  41. Gulf states join the civilised world

    Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, which have long lured foreign workers with the promise of a tax-free lifestyle, plan to impose a 5 percent tax next year on most goods and services to boost revenue after oil prices collapsed three years ago.

    The value-added tax, or VAT, will apply to a range of items like food, clothes, electronics and gasoline, as well as phone, water and electricity bills, and hotel reservations.

  42. hayeksplosives

    Citrus Bowl is getting good. Tied at 14 pts with just over 7 min to play.

    1. trshmnstr

      As much as i hate ND, fuck the SEC and the corrupt playoff committee. I hope the SEC loses the rest of their games.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        I grew up and studied in the SEC, but I’m totally okay with being hated;
        everyone’s from somewhere: you be you and be true to your school.

        But wouldn’t it be cool if public colleges disappeared (including my orange alma mater)
        and only student athletes with challenging, minimum standard test scores play?

        I absolutely would trade this world for one where I was rooting for Vandy or Sewanee to beat Notre Dame or Harvard every weekend.

  43. Don Escaped Texas

    Vols will enjoy dead-cat-bounce from 0-7; Coach Pruitt will be lured away to a $6M salary before 2021 season.

    I will agree with 94.72% of what Gilmore posts this year.

    WTI will stabilize around $60 for next ten years as global demand basically paces proven reserves.

    The Jacket will become a star “reporter” at Slate or Salon.

    STL Cardinals make the playoffs; SF Giants do not. NYY underperform expectations despite insane salary and roster.

    A new collective will arise in the campaign year; this new bigotry will be comprised exclusively of people who oppose old bigotries.

    Centrist Germans will take a cue from the UK and decide that propping up Portugal and Greece is no longer the national hobby; Merkle will be forced somewhat right.

    Nate Silver will become a full-time shill, abandoning (like Krugman) his statistical insights for the warmth of richer hearths…….I smell CNN.

    CNN adopts the shrieking opinion-mongering and emotional posturing during “news” reading of FoxNews; airports and hotels decide it’s too offensive. Oddly: FoxNews ratings decline as the years of Trump do zero to improve conditions on Main St Iowa. A majority of Americans start to wonder who purveys the truth and where their next meal is coming from as empty-headed, populist fronts fail to deliver. Small, hardworking bricks-and-mortar proprietorships will continue to be ignored or dismissed as outliers.

  44. mexican sharpshooter

    – I will travle to Europe on my own dime, for once, and stay long enough to do have more than just a beer at the airport.
    – CA will find a way to inch closer to full retard. Not secession, I’m thinking this will involve taxes or climate hysteria. Probably both.
    – Should this occur, the value of my home in Phoenix will rise.
    – Elon Musk will be involved in a cover up. A fatal error in the first deliveries of the Tesla Model 3, something they should have initiated a recall. He will still be filthy rich.
    – People will continue to hate Tom Brady.
    – Connor McGregoc will announce his retirement after failing to defend his belt against<a href="http://mmajunkie.com/2017/12/khabib-nurmagomedov-strip-conor-mcgregor-ufc-belt-2018&quot; Khabib Nurmagomemdodvovovvovdovovovov.
    – Should I be wrong, Connor will steal Khabib’s hat as a prize.
    – Canada will legalize marijuana, and open itself up to immigration, provided American refugees fleeing Trump process though a tent city/immigration center located on the Alaska-Yukon border.

  45. Waterfall Insurance

    *strange and disturbing information will be revealed about Lena Dunham

    * a former president will die H.W. Or Carter and there will be endless comparisons between them and the two scoops of orange sherbet, the honor of the office and such.

    *The LP will make no gains in the 2018 election even though a “big” name like Weld might run.

    *The Dems will take at least one branch and it will largely be effectively surrendered to them by the GOPe.

    *John McCain will survive the year and stay in office

    *the film Red Sparrow will emerge the years biggest benefactor of the RUSSIA!!! Panic.

    1. The Elite Elite

      Not only will a “big” name washed up Republican run under the LP banner, but it will be entirely under an anti-Trump campaign that’ll be run, which Dems will approve of while voting for the Dem candidate.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      John McCain will survive the year and stay in office

      Boooooooooo!

  46. Since it’s going to be announced in about fifteen minutes I predict that Safari Song by Greta Van Fleet will be The Coolest Song of the Year on Little Stevens Underground Garage although it should be Waiting for the Rain by the Woggles.

  47. Annoyed Nomad

    A little late to the thread…
    My monthly internet cost will be unchanged the entire year, but they might increase the download/upload rate.