Finland Now Has Emoji Technology

https://finland.fi/emoji/

The Finnish language and cultural concepts can be difficult for some people to understand. Luckily, I am here to help.

 

The Polar Bear, universal symbol of the meaninglessness of life
The Awkward Sauna, a feeling of dehydrated arousal
The Finnish Flag; or the universal symbol for bicuriousness in the rest of Scandinavia
The Reindeer, “Help me, I am dying. Please send medical aid.”
The Intoxicated Horse, “Help me, I am dying. Please send medical aid.”
The Bonfire, the specific sadness that there is only one person of color left to burn to death.
The Chorus, “The older men are now ready to be orally violated.”
Bipolar Disorder, a condition that worsens as you approach The North Pole.
The Ringed Seal, most often encountered on dating sites, indicates the user is only sexually attracted to sea mammals.
Coal Licker, “My bipolar disorder can only be cured by licking coal.”
The Whimsical Swastika, often used on dating sites to indicate a lack of interest in dating either of the Jews in Finland.
The Forest Half-Vulva, “I want to go almost all the way to third base with you in the woods.”
Sock and Sandals, “I am experiencing suicidal thoughts.”
The Penis Wizard, “I am a dead-eyed penis wizard.”
The Frozen Heart, “I must mourn my loved one that froze themselves to death in a suicide crevasse, please wait until next Spring before asking me out.”
Murder Boat, “I have been or are about to be murdered on a boat. Please contact the authorities.”

 

Comments

135 responses to “Finland Now Has Emoji Technology”

  1. dbleagle

    Those emoji only show the optimistic side of Finnish life. The Finns are way darker than that if my mom’s family is any indication.

    1. They are used to deceive the outside world.

      *pounds hard liquor stumbles into sauna*

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Finland is the Russia of Scandinavia.

    3. Hyperion

      Finland gets the number one spot in happy happy people’s in every one of those happiness indexes that come out each year. Been that way since I can remember. Other Scandinavian countries fill the rest of the top spots. Must be something about lack of daylight, cold, and frozen salted cod fish.

      1. Akira

        I’m always skeptical of happiness rankings. How do you quantify something like that? And it becomes even messier when they start comparing happiness surveys from countries that speak completely different languages and may have different words for happiness with different connotations.

        1. Hyperion

          From what I can gather, you start somewhere left of socialist and keep going left from there each year. Free stuff is always a #1 indicator of happy. Doesn’t matter if it’s free hogshit raining down on your head, it’s +1 on the happy meter.

  2. SEA SMITH LIKE RINGED SEAL. BY LIKE, MEAN RAPE.

    1. The Last American Hero

      SEA SMITH SAY WINGMAN NOT SUPPOSED TO SCORE. WINGMAN SUPPOSED TO JUMP ON GRENADE. SEA SMITH NEED BETTER WINGMAN.

  3. DEG

    The Forest Half-Vulva, “I want to go almost all the way to third base with you in the woods.”

    It also reminds me of a woman with unshaven pubes.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Vintage.

      1. Tres Cool

        +1 Kitty Foxx

  4. AlmightyJB

    / searches for coal flavored lube on Amazon.

  5. Are you sure that is a Murder Boat – not a Finn, fainting from actually seeing the sun?

    1. Jarflax

      I thought no one would let Finns in a boat because they are all warlocks and summon storms?

  6. pistoffnick

    Finland , Finland , Finland
    The country where I want to be
    Pony trekking or camping or just watch T.V.
    Finland , Finland , Finland
    It’s the country for me
    You’re so near to Russia
    So far away from Japan
    Quite a long way from Cairo
    Lots of miles from Vietnam
    Finland , Finland , Finland
    The country where I want to be
    Eating breakfast or dinner
    Or snack lunch in the hall
    Finland , Finland , Finland
    Finland has it all
    You’re so sadly neglected
    And often ignored
    A poor second to Belgium
    When going abroad
    Finland , Finland , Finland
    The country where I quite want to be
    Your mountains so lofty
    Your treetops so tall
    Finland , Finland , Finland
    Finland has it all
    Finland , Finland , Finland
    The country where I quite want to be
    Your moantians so lofty
    Your treetops so tall
    Finland , Finland , Finland
    Finland has it all
    Finland has it all…

  7. Tres Cool

    Fun fact- this finnish woman, Ripsa Koskinen, was an exchange student to my high school.

    1. Chafed

      What’s her claim to fame?

      1. Tres Cool

        News-chick….presenter
        I nearly gave her mouth-to-mouth when she collapsed at a Cross Country meet…..she had some rancid bref

  8. pistoffnick

    I have been to Finland…….,Minnesota

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finland,_Minnesota

    1. Tres Cool

      Shame you didnt go from Finland, Minnesota all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA

      You coulda kept on rockin’.

    2. Fourscore

      “I have been to Finland…….,Minnesota”

      If you like Finns visit any Iron Range town

      1. dbleagle

        Many Finns are also along the western Columbia River in the forestry towns like Naselle, Washington.

  9. Raphael

    I want that Ringed Seal emote.

  10. pistoffnick

    Did this fruit hang too low, SugarFree?

    https://finland.fi/emoji/tom-of-finland/

    1. Jarflax

      Why am I hearing “Jesus Christ” in a flaming voice?

      1. MikeS

        I’m worried for Lemmiwinks.

    2. blackjack

      That is a double entendre, right there.

  11. DEG

    I chatted with a Finnish couple when I was at Oktoberfest last September (yes, it starts in September).

    They live in Helsinki. They talked about how dreary and gray it is in the winter. Because they are on the Baltic, it rains all the time and hardly snows. Just gray, damp, depressing, ugly.

    But, if you drive about an hour or two inland, you start to see snow. They say that part of Finland is pretty in the winter.

    1. AlmightyJB

      So basically it’s dreary most if the year except when it’s 40 below, then its pretty.

  12. Tres Cool

    I know it’s been posted before, but since we’re talking Finland….

    1. Spudalicious

      That was good, but the bagpipe video that followed was much better. Would any, all, or pick a combo. It all works for me.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HXm8JdC4k4c

  13. straffinrun

    SugarFree decides to not take the low hanging fruit.

    1. MikeS

      I am very surprised that he didn’t pick that one. Must have been an oversight. Maybe he lost his internet when that was on.

    1. straffinrun

      Better than Oasis.

      1. MikeS

        This is better than Oasis.

        1. Chipping Pioneer

          Everything is better than Oasis.

          1. Chafed

            What CP said.

    2. quincy

      I’m convinced the lead singer is Ron Swanson, traveling back in time to warn us about the perils of social democracy.

    3. Hyperion

      Crikey, the big dude looks like a walrus in a suit.

    4. Chafed

      It took me a minute to realize that wasn’t Benny Hill.

  14. Tulip

    Crap! Zone 3. Good thing I checked my bag.

  15. blackjack

    I guess Tom from finland was just a bit too easy? Like eating raw fish heads from a barrel?

  16. Rhywun

    I’m wearing socks and flip-flops right now. Fight me.

    1. Tres Cool

      I rock that look all the time.
      #Embrace

    2. Hyperion

      You’ll blend right in on any Brazilian beach where German expats frequent. Don’t forget your speedo.

      1. Rhywun

        I’ve done the Speedo thing on a Spanish beach with Germans. I guess that counts.

        1. Hyperion

          As long as you had your sandals and knee socks, you’re probably in the club now.

          1. Rhywun

            I don’t remember, it was a long time ago. Back when I could rock a Speedo. But it was Europe so yeah the socks and sandals were probably present (though, not knee socks – I have never and will never wear those).

  17. egould310

    Teksti TV 666 — a punky shoegaze band from Finland. 5 guitars, a bass and drums. Anthemic choruses and rollicking *very* guitar driven sound.

    https://youtu.be/csNdSmYCrfk

    Also featured on my epic Spotify playlist Jangle Noise

    1. Rhywun

      Motorik! You had me at shoegaze. I will definitely check these guys out more.

      1. egould310

        Yeah motorik. Thanks for mentioning that. I’m going to have to go back into their catalog. A project for tomorrow’s listening.

        1. egould310

          I’m frankly disappointed with the quality of motorik playlists on Spotify, and am considering starting one.

          1. Rhywun

            I’ve never used Spotify – I mostly find new stuff these days via Bandcamp just clicking related links on items I purchsed. And that only rarely because I’m already overwhelmed. Back in the day I used Pandora for that.

  18. Ownbestenemy

    Showed this to my 17 year old who is now in stitches.

    A little background on him: has a deep seeded hatred for Obama, not because of me, but because of the cult-like admiration for him.

    Cant stand ads on TV. Finds them contrived and forcing fake nostalgia.

    Aspiring independant film maker who pushes the bounds of the PC culture he resides in at his school….He made a short based on the Beastie Boys song Girls…

    Doesnt understand why people are upset we are bringing troops home from two ME regions…

    I love the holidays and seeing independant young men grow (phrasing!)

    1. MikeS

      He made a short based on the Beastie Boys song Girls…

      Wow. I bet that went over well with the PC crowd.

      1. Ownbestenemy

        Interestingly, it was condoned by his teacher who obviously understands that it is art and free speech. I like him

        1. Chafed

          Wow! Give that teacher an award.

          1. Ownbestenemy

            It’s rare and really helps reinforce what is taught at home; our speech is sacred and protected, no matter how detestable it may be. However, it carries consequences in the form of being challenged by counter thoughts and logic that may test your beliefs or make you uncomfortable.

    2. Raphael

      Stuff like that gives me a bit of hope.

      1. Ownbestenemy

        Yeah he gets on my nerves but is very pro-liberty. Seeks his own knowledge and doesnt accept things on face value

        1. Raphael

          Sounds like my oldest nephew. When I visit and I have to ask him to do something or what-not, he always asks me “Why?”.

          1. Ownbestenemy

            As long as there is a spark, liberty and freedom shall never die

  19. Playa Manhattan

    Let’s hear it for the CHEEZ-ITS BOWL

    1. Spudalicious

      God stepped in with thunder and lightening and saved Boise from an ass whoopin’ at the hands of Boston College.

      1. Ownbestenemy

        Because Boise (my hometown) is the chosen city of light

        1. Spudalicious

          Yeah, our “city of light” needs to produce a better coaching staff.

  20. Spudalicious

    I’ve seen the bipolar emoji, or something like it before. I think it was red, not blue though…

    1. Spudalicious

      Oh, that’s right. It was the Swiss flag painted on someone’s face.

  21. Spudalicious

    Oh, and it’s day two with the SIL and no mushroom cloud coming out of my head yet. So far, so good.

    1. Chafed

      Nice. Keep drinking.

    1. Ownbestenemy

      Long but good

  22. These ladies are likely not Finnish.

    http://archive.is/PZTlg

    However, I’d be happy to make them finish.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      There’s a first time for everything.

    2. Spudalicious

      For some reason, I’ve been getting a “server cannot be found” message for the last couple of days.

      1. straffinrun

        Comey understands.

        1. Raphael

          Servers must have been “wiped” clean.

          1. MikeS

            You mean, like, with a cloth?

      2. Chafed

        Playa can give you the Cal score.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          It’s not good, but it’s not bad.

  23. dbleagle

    Sometimes the darkness that is Finnish is used for good.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lauri_T%C3%B6rni

    The Mannerheim Cross is for “Exceptional bravery, for the achievement of crucially important objectives by combat, or for especially successfully conducted operations.” Only 191 have ever been awarded.

    1. straffinrun

      That’s quite the life. Wonder how many soldiers have worn the Waffen SS uniform and the US Army uniform.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          WordPress is really acting up with href links. Should be

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panzer_Brigade_150

  24. Chipping Pioneer
    1. Chafed

      I don’t care how he dresses it up. You can’t rock on an accordion.

        1. Chafed

          I’m willing to be proven wrong. AC/DC’s It’s a Long Way to the Top proved you can rock a bagpipe.

          Change my mind with something original. Covers don’t qualify.

          1. MikeS

            Nah, I’m with you on this one, I think. I was just being glib with the Wierd Al link.

          2. Chafed

            Your rock cred remains untarnished.

          3. MikeS

            Thank you

            (nohomo)

          4. CPRM

            I’m not sure if this is an accordion or a concertina, either way, it does rock.

          5. PudPaisley

            It’s not rock, but this guy puts on a fun, high energy live show with the crowd just dancing like crazy. He also does a cool cover of Hey Joe.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH2eRRh4Bls

          6. dbleagle

            I saw Buckwheat in concert and man that was a great time. He had the crowd moving from the first note. I don’t know how he made it to the end because I was exhausted as a member of the audience.

          7. PudPaisley

            I saw him at the Leinie or Sprecher tent at Summerfest a few times. One of the best live music recommendations I ever got, from a coworker. I had never heard Zydeco before the show, and by the third song I was dancing for the rest of the show, and I rarely dance. Never heard anyone play the accordion like him!

    1. Chafed

      So that’s what organ donors look like.

  25. Chafed

    Rhywun, thanks for the City Journal link on homelessness in the last thread. That was an interesting article.

    1. Rhywun

      My pleasure. They’re on my daily reading list. They do a lot of good reporting on “urban” issues – if sometimes veering a little cop-friendly for my taste.

      1. Chafed

        I have do the same. As long as Heather MacDonald isn’t the author there’s a good chance it is worth reading.

  26. ruodberht

    My internet is out. Can someone give me the interception total in the Cal game?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      All of them.

  27. Playa Manhattan

    Oh my.

    “We have kicker roulette at the Cheeze-It bowl”

  28. CPRM

    Just watched, a day too late, documentary on Santa Claus and how his evolution from saint Nicholas. Their was no mention of a tradition I grew up with. On saint Nicholas day we got small gifts (usually an orange, some candy and a cheap toy) in our stocking. On Christmas we got big gifts under the tree. I remember when I was a kid talking to all the local catholic kids about what saint Nichols brought, and to us it was detached from Christmas. This is a practice I’ve never seen in pop culture, so I wonder if it just existed in my small bubble, or if it’s just something other people just don’t talk about?

    1. straffinrun

      FWIW, I grew up as a Catholic in rural Wisconsin, too. Never heard of that.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          All of the good Germans are Lutheran.

          1. CPRM

            Bavarian German, the ones that stayed Catholic, is my kinfolk. But, speaking of, the documentary I watched pointed to Luther being upset of the Catholic veneration of saints to the usurpation of saint Nicholas’ story to become Santa.

          2. Rhywun

            I just got sucked into a wikipedia vortex of Santa. AFAICT it’s all legend and lore mixed up with religion and advertising.

          3. CPRM

            Yeah. I know. I was just curious about this one thing that is custom here that I’d not seen represented in pop culture. Looks like the answer is it comes from Bavarian Catholic immigrants.

          4. MikeS

            Playa gets it.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Also grew up RC and we didn’t do that either. Did usually have another present on the Epiphany (and open one on Xmas Eve), but I think that was just my family.

  29. straffinrun
    1. CPRM

      She was so cute back in the day 🙁

      1. straffinrun

        They never stop. Beware of lists. This one may be the worst tweet of the year.

        https://mobile.twitter.com/Montel_Williams/status/1077685631533416449

        1. MikeS

          Oh fer fucks sake…I thought Montel had half a brain. Well, I suppose he did until the TDS destroyed it. Damn, these people are unhinged.

          1. CPRM

            I thought Montel had half a brain. Well, I suppose he did until the TDS MS destroyed it.

            The effects MS can have on the brain are quite scary. I know from experience dude.

    2. Rhywun

      Is she replying to something that isn’t visible there? Because I can’t make any sense of this… oh fuck it’s Twitter. Of course.

      1. straffinrun

        The “Trump is first President EVAH to not visit the troops in Iraq on Christmas” reporting that was so wrong.

        1. Rhywun

          Ugh. There’s a reason I don’t watch any MSM.

  30. PudPaisley

    The only Finnish words I remember from my Grandma are Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year, and haista napa(?), which means smell my belly button.

  31. Spudalicious

    Well that was fun. Wife just went off on her sister over how she dealt with her mom’s health issues later in life before she passed. I’m left consoling a SIL that I don’t even really like. Good times. Poured myself another whiskey. Tomorrow is going to be a rough day.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      That’s no way to cop a cheap feel.

      1. Spudalicious

        I’d rather meet STEVE SMITH in the woods.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Damn, bro. I hope it gets better.

    2. MikeS

      Damn…and things were going good. How long you got left?

    3. straffinrun

      I always side with the wife. Makes my life easier.