By ron7344

By the way: A 2-outlet faceplate runs you about $2, cowboy.

I like beer. For better or worse, this has been a mantra that I lived by from the age of 18-present day 47. I can’t drink like I used to, but I still really enjoy drinking beer. My wife has never had a problem with the beer drinking, because it was (mostly) on the weekends and I never changed my personality while I was drunk so it almost never caused me any problems. The following story is one of the times it did, but it turned into a positive thing in the long run.

In December of 1990 I was a 19-year-old Lance Corporal and had been stationed on Okinawa for 8 months. On a Wednesday, I ran into my drinking buddy from Fort Sill, Pete. He had just gotten to the island on a six-month deployment. We had to go drinking that night even though I had to be up at 4:30 for a machine gun shoot Thursday morning. It started as “I’ll just have a few beers and be back by midnight so I can get 4 hours of sleep.” (It was so great to be young.) We went bar hopping and somehow wound up at the Sunabe Seawall at around 11:30.

I met this pretty Okinawan girl, she was 22 and we REALLY hit it off. She and her friend had just watched the movie Ghost and came to the seawall for a little bit before they went home. Next thing I knew it was 2:00. Man, WE HAVE TO GO!! The girl is nice enough to drive us to the front gate, but as I get out of her car I realize my wallet is missing because the bottom of my pocket was ripped. She took me back and we found it, but instead of coming back we sat and talked for another couple of hours (not getting any sleep anyway at this point). She drives me back and I get to my room as reveille was sounded at 4:30.

I shaved and got into my cammies and still had 45 minutes before formation, so I had the fatal thought “I can take a nap” figuring that I would hear when everyone went down for formation. To quote Charlie Murphy, “WRONG!!”. To make matters worse, my section Chief and the A chief were in school so nobody noticed I wasn’t at formation.

I woke up at noon.

Not sure what to do, I started helping the rear party with cleaning the barracks in preparation for our weekly cleaning (field day) and was terrified when I heard the 5 tons come back, but trying to be slick, I went down and started cleaning the .50 cals, MK 19’s, and M60’s. Suddenly I hear my Platoon Sergeant yelling for me to get my stupid ass in his office NOW.

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!?!?!”

What to say? I suck at lying and I think I’m in enough trouble without adding to it so I didn’t know what to say except to tell him exactly what happened and why. No excuses, just the truth.

“Talked? I’m not even mad. I’m dissapointed.”

He shook his head and told me to go back out. I thought my career was over, I would never get promoted and maybe kicked out. He never said another word about it, but for at least six months, every time there was a shit detail he would look over the formation and when he saw me he would do a double take, yell my name, say “Holy Shit, you’re here. Thanks for volunteering.” Much guard duty was stood, and many hours were spent picking up trash and brass.

The positive thing to come out of that night: the girl I met has been married to me for 24 years now.

Now for reviews of my BIF from L0b0t:

Black Duck Porter by Greenport Harbor Brewing Company 4.7% ABV: Excellent example of a high quality Porter. Nothing extra, just right. 4.25/5

Common Sense Kentucky Style Ale by Upstate Brewing Company 5.3% ABV: Very easy to drink reddish ale. Good taste of hops, but not too strong. 4/5

Hawaiian Pizza IPA by Rockaway Brewing Company 5.9% ABV: I was skeptical about this one, but there was a pineapple beer in my last BIF package that was enjoyable, so let’s see.

Is this grapefruit juice? One swallow and I’m done (TWSS) 1/5
I give it to my wife (not a beer drinker) and she tastes it says “I can drink it, but it doesn’t taste like beer” She gives it 2/5

…FILLS HIS VICTIMS FULL OF DREAD

Heavy Boots of Lead by Single Cut Beersmiths 11.2%ABV: Pours like motor oil out of my Cummins BLACK and THICK. Even the foam is dark. Can’t see a light through it.

Tastes like an imperial stout, but there is a lot more to the flavor. Very thick and heavy but in a good way, hard to explain. I would never guess this was 11.2 %. I like it a lot and wish I could find this around here. 4.5/5

High Ryse by Iconyc Brewing Company 7.5% ABV: Very smooth Saison beer. Not my favorite type of beer, but it definitely got better as it went down, really liked it by the end. 3.75/5

First drink and I think” this is the perfect beer” almost reminds me of Double Bastard, one of my all-time favorites.  12%, but it goes down way too easily. I love this beer, my next trip to NY I will definitely be looking for this and the High Ryse. 4.75/5

Super Kitty by Keegan Ales 12% ABV: Bottle has a pop top like Grolsch, and it’s wax sealed. Excellent red color and nice “beer” smell. My wife smells it and recoils in horror.

Thanks again Nephilium for coordinating all this and also thank you l0b0t for the excellent beers.