Saturday Morning Seasonal Affective Links

After a week of frustrating burial in large-company bureaucracy (year end means HR nightmares and much cursing of Workday), the Old Man emerges to throw links to the Glibertariat. Sorry, these will be news and not collections of titty pics of highly photoshopped and siliconed duck-lipped millennials. Others will no doubt step into the breach.

Today’s notable birthdays include brilliant physicist Freeman Dyson (whom everyone should read about- a true iconoclast, and one of the two most egregious snubs for a Nobel, the other being Henry Eyring); funnyman Tim Conway (SP and I saw his one-man show a few years ago and were in awe of his talent); Max Yasgur of Woodstock fame; and biophysicist and Nobelist Maurice Wilkins, whose work in X-ray diffraction was the key to elucidating the famed double helix structure of DNA.

To the news.


Of course, the biggest news was the inverse of the Ninth Circuit ruling Obamacare, as she stands, to be unconstitutional.

The case against the ACA was brought by 20 Republican state attorneys general and governors, as well as two individuals. It revolves around Congress effectively eliminating the individual mandate penalty by reducing it to $0 as part of the 2017 tax cut bill. The mandate requires nearly all Americans to get health insurance or pay a penalty.
The Republican coalition, led by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, is arguing that the change rendered the mandate itself unconstitutional. The states say that the voiding of the penalty, which takes effect next year, removes the legal underpinning the Supreme Court relied upon when it upheld the law in 2012 under Congress’ tax power.

I can only wonder what contortions Bush-souvenir John Roberts will undertake to preserve this insane government overreach. But I have confidence that he’s a smart guy who will creatively figure out another way to screw us.


Australian animals are weirder than we can imagine. And likely going extinct, as befits creatures created by Yahweh after finishing a six pack of Foster’s.

It sports a green mohican, fleshy finger-like growths under its chin and can breathe through its genitals. Gill-like organs within its cloaca – an orifice used by reptiles for excretion and mating – enable it to stay underwater for up to three days.

So basically, Warty.


In sports news, Minnesodans may have had enough.

“For Sale: Lightly used $1,000,000,000 stadium. Occupant has been a team that only has success in breaking the hearts of the fans. Long history of collecting talent with no ideas on how to use them. Included: $84 million QB who can’t win against teams with winning records, and is 0-7 on MNF. A league record! All reasonable offers considered. Will even entertain ideas to convert to a homeless shelter, as there is a greater chance of one of those folk becoming a success.”

A picture of a dumpster fire was also added to the listing.

It’s a good thing those folks are so polite; this could have been much worse.


Remember this the next time WebDom posts her Vegan School.

There are several causes of hidden hunger in developed countries. The consumption of cheap, energy dense, nutritionally poor and heavily processed foods, particularly by poorer members of society, is a major factor. Even when fresh produce is consumed, there appears to be fewer micronutrients available than was once the case. This is due to issues such as soil health, caused by poor agricultural management and climate change.

The rapidly growing trend of veganism is likely to become another major contributor to hidden hunger in the developed world.

Climate Change and veganism- threats to our existence.


I left my heart in San Francisco…

The flight took the organ on ice from a courier at Sacramento International Airport bound for Seattle where the heart’s valve tissue was set to be used. But like a mishandled bag, the heart was mistakenly kept on the connecting flight to Dallas instead of being taken out of the cargo hold.

Trust me, if this were United or American, that thing would still be there, rotting away.


It amazes me that after a faith-healer is exposed as a fraud (which they all are), nothing really changes. But let him squeeze a titty,and #metoo hell breaks loose.

“This case of John of God is really emblematic because he’s someone who is known internationally,” said Carolina Vicentin, one of the co-founders of the Brazilian feminist magazine AzMina. “But this type of thing is not unusual. The problem is that women are deterred from making accusations.”
Consulted by Brazilian presidents and lauded by international celebrities, including Oprah Winfrey, Faria established himself as the country’s pre-eminent healer, offering surgery to the sick guided only by spirits. The medium visited [President Michel] Temer in hospital last year, while former president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva sought his assistance during his treatment for cancer.

While it’s wonderful that his “career” fleecing and killing the gullible and stupid may be ending, it’s shitty that this is the only sort of thing that can accomplish that laudable end.


I may end up having to do a Jewsday about this. Vegetarianism, science, and rabbis, all rolled into one.

Lab-grown meat has sparked a debate among rabbis in Israel about whether cell-cultured is the same as conventional meat and should fall under the same guidelines for keeping kosher. “There is a disagreement about it and there is a conversation. Also, definitely, there are new questions about lab-meat,” says Rabbi Yuval Cherlow, an expert on kosher tradition and bioethics.

Whenever someone says “there is a conversation,” you know they mean “monologue.”


Old Guy Music today features another birthday boy- the great and innovative big band leader Stan Kenton. And some really creepy dancing.

Comments

255 responses to “Saturday Morning Seasonal Affective Links”

  1. Chipping Pioneer

    This is due to issues such as … climate change.

    Citation needed.

    1. Bob Boberson

      The village shaman has spoken. The spirits told him of mother Gaia’s pain. Who are you to question the spirits? That attitude will get you banished from the tribe if you aren’t careful.

      1. Chipping Pioneer

        Can the shaman please provide that in APA format?

      2. Spartacus

        The shaman has been disgraced for grabbing Mother Gaia’s boob. He claims he did it to relieve her pain.

        1. egould310

          I like you avatar. Kitty cat!

    2. commodious spittoon

      [scientific consensus]

  2. SP

    Oh, good, I’m glad you mentioned your hatred of Workday. I would never have known how you felt if you hadn’t mentioned it here.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      *sarc meter twitches*

      1. Nephilium

        *Sends two cases of IIPA*

  3. Tulip

    Look at that turtle’s eyes. It’s going extinct because it’s too stoned to take care of itself.

    One week until mom goes home. I love her, but she rearranged my kitchen. Time for her to go home.

    1. SP

      Oh, my. She’s been there quite a while, no?

      1. Tulip

        Since just before Thanksgiving. The dog is happy. Mom is stuffing her full of treats because she is convinced I am under feeding her.

        1. SP

          That’s a long visit. You are a better woman than I.

    2. Lackadaisical

      My mother in law did the same when she stayed with us. At least she was doing a lot of cooking. That’s the second worst thing you can do to someones home short of an upperdecker.

      1. Nephilium

        Nope. My kitchen is my sanctuary. Try to move stuff around and you’ll learn where the knives are.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: Small Efforts Edition

    Postage is going up 5 cents in January. Recycling is imperative for those of us believing in global warming. If you enjoy receiving and sending Christmas cards as I do — my favorite part of the holiday season — save the front of your favorite cards and use them as postcards next year. Recycling effort plus savings on postage and new cards.

    1. Tulip

      I’m convinced environmentalists long for poverty. The things they suggest are almost always things that you do when you are broke. They really seem to hate that most people no longer need to do them. Like the suggestions to turn down the heat. I am grateful that I can afford to be warm in my home without wearing five layers, and comfortable in the summer. I couldn’t afford that in grad school and Fuck those assholes that insist I be uncomfortable in my own home for Gaia. It’s the new hair shirt.

      1. Bob Boberson

        “I’m convinced environmentalists long for other people to live in poverty. The things they suggest are almost always things that you do when you are broke. They really seem to hate that most people no longer need to do them.”

        FIFY

        1. Tulip

          I’m sure creeps like All Gore would love to pass sumptuary laws.

          1. Bob Boberson

            With all kinds exceptions for themselves. I have lots of contempt for the celebrity class that likes to wax righteous about consumption.

      2. Bob Boberson

        My grandmothers on both sides of my family grew up during the depression. Living through lean times they learned to be frugal with money and possessions. To this day both of them do things to maximize the use of items that many of us would see as silly and unnecessary even though they have the means to throw away and buy new. The difference between them and an environmentalist is they have zero compulsion to try to force others to be equally frugal.

        1. MikeS

          Lemme guess; they wash Ziploc bags?

        2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

          My mom grew up in the Depression. She keeps bringing stuff to me to see if I can use them. She just can’t bear to throw stuff away if she thinks that they might have some use. Thankfully she finally ran out of AOL CDs.

        3. Same here, but my grandparents on my dad’s side grew up relatively wealthy. On my mom’s side, they were both hard up in Philly, one side black Irish (not African-American Irish) and the other recently off the boat from Scotland. They would save nails and screws and so forth in coffee cans. My grandmother would always buy those Royal Dansk cookies because they came in tins that she’d use to put shortbread in.

          Up until it became a holy rite of the First Church of Gaia, that sort of thing was called “home economics” and was the hallmark of a good housekeeper.

    2. Sound less like an environmentalist and more like a penny-pinching Dear Henrietta column.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      This person is using the wrong terminology. The cultists stopped using global warming when it became too hot – excuse the pun – to do so. That’s when they cleverly switched to climate change.

      Also. What a loser.

  5. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: Hopping Down the Bunny Trail

    My 4-year-old son lost his beloved gray stuffed bunny somewhere in the Williamsburg area in the past few weeks. We have looked high and low for Bunny, and my son misses him terribly. There is a slim chance that Bunny fell out of the car in a parking lot while my son was getting in or out, or he perhaps was left behind in a restaurant or store. If you have any leads as to Bunny’s whereabouts, it would be greatly appreciated: searchingforbunny2018@gmail.com.

    1. Tulip

      Having witnessed one niece’s absolute meltdown over losing her doll at that age, the writer has my sympathy.

      1. LJW

        We made sure we bought two more of our daughter’s favorite for this exact reason

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      If my daughter ever lost her ‘doggie’ I don’t want to even think about it….

        1. Tulip

          So clean

    3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      If I were more motivated, I’d spam that address with photos of the bunny at the local bar smoking a cigarette, or bunny humping other bunnies.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: What Year Is It?

    Why hasn’t our elected General Assembly in Richmond ratified the Equal Rights Amendment so it can finally become part of the U.S. Constitution? They have been delaying for many years. Disgusting!

    1. ElspethFlashman

      1986?

    2. That writer does have the Trump tweet format down pat, though.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      I want to believe the satire trolls are taking over.

  7. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Re Tim Conway: It’s always a nice surprise when a celebrity you loved in your childhood tunes out to be alive when you thought they’d been dead for years. His Mr. Tudball from The Carol Burnett Show was the best.

    1. Raston Bot

      RIP Korman earlier this year. That show still makes my inner 8-year old laugh.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      I was watching some re-runs last year. Pure genius. Hilarious as hell.

  8. SP

    Programming note!

    Kinnath’s next brewing post will go up at 1600 Glibtime today. It’s on Making Cider! I love cider.

    1. Cy

      My biggest issue with the Keto diet my wife and I have been on hasn’t been the resisting of pies and candy, it’s that I can’t partake in the delicious Fall pressed apple cider.

      1. I am girding my loins for post-holidays my wife is getting on The Mayo Clinic diet (she’s reading the book) and so I will be too by default.

        1. Cy

          I’m in the same boat, wife wanted to try it, so here I am. I will say, this Keto thing has been really good to me so far. I’ve lost inches mostly and feel a LOT better. Not a lot of pounds have been shed yet.

          1. Atanarjuat

            Maybe you’ve added some muscle.

          2. Atanarjuat

            That’s supposed to be a guess for why you’ve lost inches around the waist or wherever, but stayed the same weight.

          3. I’d love to try Keto, but my wife isn’t up for that. I’m actually looking forward to it. I only need to drop about 10-15 pounds but I’m not watching the scale that close because I’m also ramping up workouts to gain muscle.

          4. Tres Cool

            I do a lazy-keto where I just try and stay <50g-carb/day. The 1st month, I religiously walked and spent time on an elliptical, and I cut just about 20 lbs.

  9. Stinky Wizzleteats

    A pretty good breakdown of how Patreon is being pressured to drop clients and how payment processors are being pressured to drop Patreon alternatives:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zQWtGfX1r1E

    The guy sounds a bit like Count Dracula but give him a chance.

    1. spqr2008

      I was wondering if this was Pie in the Sky, but he is too attached to his free things from the government to be Pie.

    2. Lackadaisical

      More like count dorkula, am I right?

  10. ElspethFlashman

    OT: Christmas feels more sucky than usual this year… a year since my dad died. Not in the mood for any of it, but I’ll keep going. Only have to make it a few more weeks & then Christmas is done.

    1. SP

      I’m sorry. I’m kind of in that same place, even though it’s been longer since my Mom died. She loved loved loved Christmas. Without kids or other family around, it’s hard to get the enthusiasm going.

      1. Nephilium

        Both my parents are still here, but for me the day is all about my nephews (I have no children of my own). If for nothing else, I appreciate the better behavior by most people during the season.

    2. Bob Boberson

      I can identify. I used to love Christmas but for the last couple years I feel blasé if not outright depressed through the holidays. It’s honestly kind of a relief when it’s over. Christmas in a few years will be very different once my very elderly Grandmother passes away or can no longer host.

      1. Tundra

        My favorite Christmases lately are the ones where I take my wife and kids and go someplace warm until it’s over.

        1. Tulip

          I’m trying to convince my family to do something similar, all my niece’s and nephews will need to travel next year so let’s go somewhere warm. I’m tired of using vacation to go to MN In the winter.

          1. Mojeaux

            Right before I met Mr. Mojeaux, my mom and I were both alone for Christmas and it sucked. I said, “Next year, let’s go to Australia.” She was totally down with that.

          2. Tundra

            When my kids were small we decided to take them to Mexico for Christmas. It pissed off our families, of course, but it was one of the best Christmases of my life. The resort was beautifully decorated, everyone was chilled and as weird as it sounds, it really felt like Christmas.

            Christmas eve we were walking along the beach right after sunset and I found the kids a giant sand dollar and conch shell. You would have thought it was a mountain of presents. My daughter still has the shell.

            So now every 2-3 years we bail out and spend it with just the four of us. I hope we can keep the tradition going, even when the kids are grown.

          3. Tejicano

            Sounds like magic. That is what travel is supposed to be.

          4. Mojeaux

            Nice!

            In all honesty, I don’t want to see palm trees and 80F temps at Christmas, so we’re not likely to do that. But that one year, she and I were bummed.

      2. Same here. None of my family is on speaking terms with each other and they’re all spread out just far enough to make getting together require actual planning, assuming they’d actually bother. My wife’s family all gets together, but it’s a huge group of people–about 80, counting kids and friends of the family–and Christmas day winds up being kind of intense. Plus, it’s easily a 12+ hour affair, and making food to bring is like cooking for a buffet; we bring 10 pounds of mashed potatoes and they’re gone in fifteen minutes. We’re trying to do our own thing this Christmas Eve instead of going to my aunt’s like we normally do, but everything kind of gets subjugated by the Christmas Day extravaganza at my wife’s family’s place. Honestly, it’s hard to come away from the holidays not feeling disappointed.

        1. Hyperion

          My side of the family are 600 miles or more away and they’re completely dysfunctional. Before my mom got really sick, the entire thing was still held somewhat together and we would do Thanksgiving each year. After mom got too sick, that was it. My wife’s side are all between 4 and 6 thousand miles away. Her daughter and husband are coming for Christmas and they’re pretty much my favorite on both sides, so I’m fine with that.

          I still remember back during my first marriage. What a fucking horror. Those were the strangest people ever. I still remember one of the highlights when after dinner seemed to be over, a few of us would sneak over by this back window and watch one family member, the same one who did it every year, sneak out the back door with any food that was left over. And I mean all of it, until it was all loaded into her car. LOL, that’s sort of mean, she was severely overweight and always in some sort of financial crisis. Ah, the bad old days. Now it’s just me and wifey almost all the time, I love it.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Will be our first Christmas without my father who kicked it in September.

      He loved the Holidays so my mother is a little down.

      1. ElspethFlashman

        Sorry to hear of your loss.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Thanks.

      2. Mojeaux

        My condolences.

    4. Tres Cool

      Mama Tres kicked off on December 26. I spent Christmas in Hospice with her. Not the most wonderful time of the year for me, either.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        My father’s viewing was on their 55th wedding anniversary.

        So I get it.

      2. Chafed

        That is rough. Sorry Tres.

    5. Mojeaux

      I am so sorry.

  11. Trials and Trippelations

    Bookmarking the turtle to highly recommend to my kid that he use for a project on an animal

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi decried the ruling and suggested that the coming Democratic-led House will intervene in the case.
    “Republicans are fully responsible for this cruel decision and for the fear they have struck into millions of families across America who are now in danger of losing their health coverage,” Pelosi said in a statement. “When House Democrats take the gavel, the House of Representatives will move swiftly to formally intervene in the appeals process to uphold the life-saving protections for people with pre-existing conditions and reject Republicans’ effort to destroy the Affordable Care Act.”

    We’re all gonna die. And we all know whose fault it is.

    1. Bob Boberson

      Bring on the made up “ACA Saved my Life!” FB posts.

      1. spqr2008

        Obamacare did allow my neighbor to get his knees replaced, but honestly, he should have been on Medicaid years ago, since he’s only worked part time for 10+ years, and is paid under the table anyways.

      2. Mojeaux

        Akshually, it did save my friend’s life, however, my compassion is greatly tempered: She’s been in a long-term relationship (cohabitating) (almost 20 years) with a guy who has a great job and great insurance, and they won’t get married. “Why should I have to get married to get health insurance?”

        1. R C Dean

          Akshually, it did save my friend’s life,

          How so? I’d be curious to hear what life-saving treatment she could not get without health insurance.

          “Why should I have to get married to get health insurance?”

          She never had to get married to get health insurance. There was (and still is, on the OCare exchanges) a market for individual policies. She could have always gotten health insurance if she had been willing to pay market rates. What she wanted was health insurance subsidized by a company she had no direct or indirect legal relationship with.

          1. Mojeaux

            What she wanted was health insurance subsidized by a company she had no direct or indirect legal relationship with.

            Yes, but she was a grad student of the perpetual variety, and wasn’t making any money. Her partner paid all the bills.

            As to what she had, it was sudden onset of diabetes 1.5. One day she’s fine. Next day she’s in the hospital in a diabetic coma for a week. I don’t understand the ins and outs of how it was paid for by Ocare, but it paid for that plus her insulin and accessories.

            Disclaimer: That’s how it was explained to me. I don’t remember if she had any copays.

          2. R C Dean

            I don’t understand the ins and outs of how it was paid for by Ocare, but it paid for that plus her insulin and accessories.

            Medicaid expansion, would be my guess. Congrats, sweetie, your lifetime dream of being a welfare case has finally come true. Aim high, and there’s nothing you can’t accomplish.

            The hospital care was going to happen regardless of OCare. Its the post-hospital care that she was able to get on other people’s dime. And you know what? If her sugar daddy was paying her bills anyway, he could well have paid for that as well.

          3. Viking1865

            Yeah every single OCARE SAVED MY LIFE!!!! story is I GOT FREE SHIT FROM OTHER PEOPLES POCKET.

            OBAMA SAVED MY LIFE sells so much better than I TAKE MONEY THATS NOT MINE USING THE STATE AS MY THUG.

          4. Mojeaux

            I will add that her attitude is definitely that the government should pay for her healthcare without regard to how it strains the pocketbooks of others. She very much believes healthcare is a right.

            It would be easier to tolerate if she didn’t have access to a good healthcare plan that she simply wasn’t willing to access in a fairly efficient and pragmatic way.

            That is my inner pragmatist coming out.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Im just pleased we finally know what’s in it

    3. Raphael

      House Dems don’t need to try to reject Republicans’ efforts, they’re doing a bang-up job sabotaging their own efforts.

    4. SoberPhobic

      the House of Representatives will move swiftly to formally intervene in the appeals process

      So much for three branches of Gov.

      1. Didn’t the courts already refuse to let the house intervene on other suits because it wasn’t their job?

  13. Cy

    Here I am sitting at work for that breach to be filled by better men with no internet restrictions…

    1. Cy

      *waiting

    2. Bob Boberson

      better men with no internet restrictions…

      So…..a different Tulpa?

  14. Maybe the heart just wanted to get to Love Field?

    1. Cy

      Nothing ever wants to get to Love field. They just have to go there because someone accidentally booked it instead of DFW.

      1. Melanie Griffith did, once!

      2. R C Dean

        Not true. When I lived in Dallas, Love Field was far and away my first choice. It was (and still is, as far as I know), Southwest’s hub.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    My grandmothers on both sides of my family grew up during the depression. Living through lean times they learned to be frugal with money and possessions. To this day both of them do things to maximize the use of items that many of us would see as silly and unnecessary even though they have the means to throw away and buy new.

    Just about every time I see one of those “Millenials Are All Broke, Why Won’t the Government Help Them?” articles, I think about my grandparents. They somehow or other managed to feed and clothe themselves and their children, keep a roof over their heads, and make a go of life through a no-shit economic depression. Sometimes you have to make choices.

    1. Bob Boberson

      I can get choked up when I hear the stories about families that would rather go hungry than accept government assistance during the depression. The American fabric is not what it once was.

      1. Tundra

        Shame was once a thing.

    2. leon

      Quite frankly I look at the stuff that millennials pay for and it’s not like they are out of money due to needs. You don’t need Netflix,a new car, a PlayStation season sub, fast food for lunch, expensive clothes,etc. If you play your cards right, you can get through school with little debt. Those are luxuries. So it’s infuriating to fellow responsible millennials when they bitch about how much don’t have enough. Stop wasting your money, and don’t expect me to pay for you too.

      1. Atanarjuat

        My girlfriend had a roommate mooch off her for two years, playing off their previous friendship, never paying the full rent amount (only $300), but disposable cups from the local hipster coffee shop were found around the house almost daily.

      2. Cy

        The spending and cognitive dissonance is almost an epidemic. I’m so sick of hearing people with brand new cars and 3k sqft new houses bitch about credit card bills. Math isn’t hard. Being responsible apparently is!

        1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

          A coworker was complaining about living paycheck to paycheck. She smoked, her kid was in private school, and she drove a new Audi SUV.

          At least when I was broke I knew that I shouldn’t go out drinking so much.

      3. Lackadaisical

        I know a borderline gen xer, several years ago I had a convo with him about socialism and all. He was upset that we wasn’t making much more than 50k delivering packages. He deserves other people’s money because he wants to go out drinking more often.

        1. Lackadaisical

          He, not we. I wasn’t making so much at the time.

  16. Atanarjuat

    With over 60,000 rapes reported in the country in 2017, Brazil remains a deeply macho country where violence against women is commonplace. Surveys by polling company Datafolha show that one in every three Brazilian women suffered some kind of aggression in 2017, while 42 percent had experienced sexual harassment.

    In a 2014 poll, 26 percent of Brazilians agreed partially or totally with the statement “women who wear clothes that show off their bodies deserve to be attacked,” according to the Institute of Applied Economics (Ipea).

    *rolls eyes*

    You think that’s bad, you oughta see an American college campus sometime.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Well given that 100% of college women are raped, you could say that any woman who goes to college is just asking for it.

      1. MikeS

        You rape apologist shitlord. It’s 120%!

  17. Tundra

    It’s a good thing those folks are so polite; this could have been much worse.

    When the Vikes get rolled by the Dolphins tomorrow, I think you’ll see worse.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      They’re gonna rape and pillage like true Vikings?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        As an aside, I’m starting to get a tad concerned about Wentz.

        1. Tundra

          He does seem a little delicate…

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            Anymore bandages on him and dude will look like a mummy.

            QB Mummy! Now that’s one that slipped passed Scooby-Doo!

          2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

            Somebody will rip off his mask and discover he’s Trent Dilfer.

        2. MikeS

          Yeah, I really hope injuries don’t turn him into a “flash in the pan”.

    2. As a Redskins mark fan, I have a certain interest in following the Vikings. All I can say is that Kirk Cousins is a pretty good quarterback who is going to do very well when he’s placed in ideal throwing situations and then choke like the dickens when the play breaks down. I think that if they’d decided they wanted to work to keep him a few seasons ago Cousins could’ve been a franchise quarterback for the Skins and seen some success. I also can pretty much guarantee that the Vikings might see a playoff or two with him under center but that’s about it. Bless his heart, he’s a choke artist of the first water.

  18. leon

    “notable birthdays include brilliant physicist Freeman Dyson (whom everyone should read about- a true iconoclast, and one of the two most egregious snubs for a Nobel, the other being Henry Eyring”

    At first I read that as, they snubbed Nobels they were awarded.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      I’m surprised they haven’t given a science award to Bill Nye or one for physics to Neil De Grasse-Tyson because….they make science fun!

      1. Tres Cool

        …it’s almost like they fucking LOVE it!

  19. When looking for a person or company to do marketing for my books, what should I watch out for (both good and bad signs)?

    1. leon

      Avoid the ones with white smudges under their nose.

    2. Subwoofer

      Ones that follow the labor theory of value. A shit ton of people who would market your book expect to be paid for working on it, not for producing results.

      If they want a monthly retainer and won’t agree to a refund if they don’t meet targets, they’re going to rip you off. Unfortunately that’s 95% of them.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    All your dick pic are belong to us

    Facebook announced on Friday that the social network had exposed the private photos of millions of users without their permission.
    The company said a bug recently allowed third-party app developers to access photos people may not have shared publicly. Facebook believes as many as 6.8 million users could be affected.

    1. Lackadaisical

      “Bug”

    2. leon

      Aren’t these the same people who said “send us your nudes so we can see if anyone is posting them online.”?

  21. Rufus the Monocled

    Any chance Roberts surprises?

    1. R C Dean

      The original majority that upheld OCare as an exercise of the taxing power was Roberts, Ginsburg, Breyer, Sotomayor and Kagan. They are all still on the Court. I believe that if they possibly can, they will find a way to uphold OCare again. The original decision that OCare was really a tax law and not an interstate commerce law was criticized in legal circles; whether they can figure out a way to stretch it so that a law that no longer imposes a tax is an exercise of the taxing authority, I don’t know but I kind of doubt.

      What will be interesting will be seeing what the new members do. We’ll get a good look at whether Gorsuch and Kavanaugh are swamp creatures at heart.

      1. Chafed

        We are going to find out if Roberts has any shame. He laid out the heavily criticized tax analysis you mentioned. If he is honest then he will say without a tax it’s no longer Constitutional. If he is an at all costs statist then he will go through more contortions to uphold it.

        1. R C Dean

          If he is honest

          A very well respected lawyer that I know, who was pro-OCare, said the majority opinion was the most intellectually dishonest SCOTUS opinion he had ever read.

      2. Grumbletarian

        My understanding is that the tax still technically exists, it’s just that the amount taxed is now zero. I imagine that’s the contortion Roberts will use. If I’m wrong and the tax was fully repealed and not just the amount taxed altered, then they’ll have to engage in some other mental gymnastics.

  22. leon

    So Salt Lake advanced to be considered for the 2030 Olympics. That sucks. I wonder if they will recall senator Romney to save them again after they waste all their money.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    CNN headline:

    “Thousands of Miles Away, Grieving Family Wants to Know How 7 Year Old Girl Died in US Custody”

    What the fuck was their little 7 year old girl doing sneaking across the border, in the company of who-knows-who?

    *I know nothing whatsoever about this story, other than the headlines implying ICE raped and killed her and tossed her body out of a helicopter.

    1. LJW

      From my understanding she was without food or water for several days before she was apprehended. They claim she showed no signs of distress until it was too late.

    2. SoberPhobic

      If it’s the same story I read,

      Her father brought her through the desert into NM

      He neglected food and water for upto 8 days.

      She seized on her way to detention, was flown to El Paso hosp. where she passed.

      Elapsed time from Border patrol to death approx 8 hrs.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Cover of Time: Why did Trump personally starve this little girl?

    4. Tejicano

      I grew up a short walk from the US-Mexico border. I cannot imagine a time in history since that border was defined that an adult male would be safe travelling alone in that area. I have loads of stories about people I know or know of who ran into trouble just being alone near that area. A seven-year-old would most probably attract the worst you can imagine.

      1. Tejicano

        OK – reading the other posts – if they (the 7 year-old and her father) were found in New Mexico where El Paso would be the logical place to fly her to that would be one of the most desolate places of the entire border. Google maps it a take a look – you’ll think it was Mars with a trail.

    5. Atanarjuat

      It’s pretty bad when your open borders propaganda is so mendacious it makes a bunch of irascible anti-authoritarian cop-hating libertarians side with ICE.

      1. ^^^This. Their “if you’re not with us, you’re against us” black and white Soviet-style attitude is creating many more enemies than they realize. It’s also what lead to Trump’s election. Many people held their nose and voted for him simply because they thought, “well, I’m not 100% with these people, so they say I’m their enemy. I should probably vote for the other guy.” Ironic as it is, many of us could find some common ground for actual, real-life compromise with the Left on some issues (drugs, immigration, police brutality, etc.), but their insistence on only Obama compromise (my way or the highway) alienates potential allies.

        It’s a stupid strategy and turns into a purity purge.

        1. Mojeaux

          (drugs, immigration, police brutality, etc.)

          They are the new “opioid epidemic” hucksters and I haven’t seen them taking on police brutality other than spouting it for political gain.

        2. Viking1865

          The Obama admin disabused me of any notion that the Left was sincere. Obama was the first Democratic President in decades to both be a genuine leftist and have a compliant Congress.

          Did he free the drug users from prison? Did he bring our troops home? Did he take on the military industrial complex? Did he dismantle the surveillance state Bush set up? No, he fucked up the economy and fucked up the healthcare system.

          Most people don’t remember this, but the first time I saw Barack Obama it was on CSPAN or maybe YouTube, and it was him and Cory Booker talking about school choice and how it was the way forward to help inner city black kids.

          1. Akira

            Did he free the drug users from prison? Did he bring our troops home? Did he take on the military industrial complex? Did he dismantle the surveillance state Bush set up? No, he fucked up the economy and fucked up the healthcare system.

            This this this, goddamn. Even by the Left’s own standards, he should have been considered a horrible president. At the very least, they could admit that he was a mixed bag. But if you confront them with this stuff, all you get is oohing and aahing over what beautiful speeches he made.

            I remember early in his presidency, there was some kind of event where Internet users could vote on a question to have him answer on live TV, and the top question was about marijuana legalization. He literally laughed it off, cracked a stupid joke about Internet user stereotypes, and dismissed the idea without any further explanation. I know he pardoned some nonviolent drug offenders towards the end of his second term. But honestly, for someone who talks and talks and talks about how the justice system fucks over minorities, that’s just not good enough.

            It fucking pisses me off. That man is a master manipulator. He has convinced people that he is perfect and gotten them to block out all evidence to the contrary. If he had gone into advertising, he could have become extraordinarily rich… Of course, the fame, adoration, and control is what he craves more than money. And I’m sure he’ll get plenty of cash as well when him and Michelle set up a Clinton-style “foundation” in the next few years.

    6. R C Dean

      Hundreds of people die every year in the NM/AZ border area. It is a brutal desert – if you haven’t actually been there, you really can’t picture how unforgiving it is, and how big it is. Hell, we have people die in Tucson every summer in heavily trafficked national and state park areas.

      By the time she was picked up, it was too late, from what I understand. Even if they had put her on a helicopter the instant they found her, its still a long flight to a trauma center (as much as two hours, possibly more). Add in the flight time for medevac to wherever she was, and it just wasn’t gonna happen.

      This is on her father, who should be charged with some flavor of child abuse and negligent homicide.

      1. Rhywun

        Dragging your kid through the desert for days on end or shipping them north with some coyote is brave and woke, but locking them in your car for five minutes is child abuse.

  24. Can We Really Inherit Trauma?

    The field of epigenetics gained momentum about a decade ago, when scientists reported that children who were exposed in the womb to the Dutch Hunger Winter, a period of famine toward the end of World War II, carried a particular chemical mark, or epigenetic signature, on one of their genes. The researchers later linked that finding to differences in the children’s health later in life, including higher-than-average body mass.

    The excitement since then has only intensified, generating more studies — of the descendants of Holocaust survivors, of victims of poverty — that hint at the heritability of trauma. If these studies hold up, they would suggest that we inherit some trace of our parents’ and even grandparents’ experience, particularly their suffering, which in turn modifies our own day-to-day health — and perhaps our children’s, too.

    But behind the scenes, the work has touched off a bitter dispute among researchers that could stunt the enterprise in its infancy. Critics contend that the biology implied by such studies simply is not plausible. Epigenetics researchers counter that their evidence is solid, even if the biology is not worked out.

    “These are, in fact, extraordinary claims, and they are being advanced on less than ordinary evidence,” said Kevin Mitchell, an associate professor of genetics and neurology at Trinity College, Dublin. “This is a malady in modern science: the more extraordinary and sensational and apparently revolutionary the claim, the lower the bar for the evidence on which it is based, when the opposite should be true.”

    1. That last paragraph gave me an erection.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      I’m just glad this study came after Obama.

      Could you imagine that clown armed with this information?

    3. SoberPhobic

      The climate was traumatized before man was around.

  25. “collections of titty pics of highly photoshopped and siliconed duck-lipped millennials”

    It’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it.

    http://archive.is/KnsTl

    31 plz.

    1. Why are they traying to make their asses look fat instead of proportionate?

      1. MikeS

        It’s one of the great mysteries of our times.

      2. PieInTheSky

        They want to be attractive to rappers

        1. Tejicano

          /\/\/\/\ THIS

          I’ve been living outside the US for over 25 years so I wasn’t taken in by whatever it was that made boys think they had to be with a woman with a huge booty. Not sure when it took over and I don’t really care. Not my cup of tea. Hell, I don’t even drink tea.

          1. prolefeed

            It took over since forever with men with African descent. Some men of other ethnic backgrounds have overcome the programming from childhood and find that, yes, they like it like that.

          2. R C Dean

            Some men of other ethnic backgrounds have overcome the programming from childhood and find have been reprogrammed so that, yes, they like it like that.

        2. Rhywun

          Professor Mix-a-Lot was on top of this trend a quarter century ago.

          1. Tres Cool

            +2 Put Em On The Glass!

          2. Tejicano

            And that, by coincidence, was the point when I left the US.

      3. prolefeed

        “Why are they traying to make their asses look fat instead of proportionate?

        Because for a substantial portion of men and lesbian women, big booties are sexier. And because the title of this post explicitly says that is what was being curated.

        22, 32, 8

  26. Met Police officer faces sack after being caught performing sex act alone in first-class on train to Gatwick

    A court was told a railway employee had seen the lewd act on a train between Three Bridges and Gatwick Airport, in West Sussex, at around 11pm.

    Prosecutor Edward Hand told the court Malka was ‘slouched in the chair, legs open, and a head cover from a seat in his hand’.

    Malka ‘used the headrest cover to cover up his penis’ when a second witness arrived, the court heard.

    Mr Hand said: Mr Hand said: ‘Just after 2255 a railway employee looked into a train and saw this defendant masturbating inside a carriage.

    Not willing to give a hand, Mr. Hand?

    1. MikeS

      Ah yes; the old, “Gatwick Garrote”.

    2. J. Frank Parnell

      Mr. Hand

      You dick!

  27. The Late P Brooks

    “This is a malady in modern science: the more extraordinary and sensational and apparently revolutionary the claim, the lower the bar for the evidence on which it is based, when the opposite should be true.”

    That’s just silly.

    1. Suthenboy

      I am not sure it is necessarily a modern phenomena. It has likely always been this way, we just forget about all of the petty grifters over time.

    1. Count Potato

      “Hell, Joy Behar thinks (and I use that term loosely when it comes to that daft bint) that maybe retiring Senator Orrin Hatch should “go to jail” for not speaking out against Donald Trump.”

      Bake that cake!

  28. PieInTheSky

    You know what is worse than a drizzle? A freezing drizzle. Tommorow everything gonna be ice. I hate getting this shit off the windshield of the car.

      1. PieInTheSky

        I need a garage attached to my building is what I need. My mom has one walks in from the house the car is clean and warm just drives out

        1. Tulip

          I do miss having an attached garage.

          1. I miss having any garage at all. The carport is a poor alternative.

      2. Tres Cool

        So help me, I just KNEW that was gonna be a flamethrower.

        1. whiz

          Hah, that’s what I thought, too.

    1. Akira

      You know who else was greatly inconvenienced by winter weather?

  29. Suthenboy

    “This is due to issues such as soil health, caused by poor agricultural management and climate change.”

    What climate change? I thought climate change was coming, not here yet. If it is here someone forgot to tell the climate.

    Goddamned fucking shitweasel lying sons of bitches. This is really getting old.

    1. Rhywun

      It’s changed just enough to cause whichever calamity they’re discussing at the time.

    1. More John Caldara, I love this guy.

      https://pagetwo.completecolorado.com/2017/07/10/denver-housing-you-cant-always-live-where-you-want/

      Yeah I know, too local.

      Deal with it.

      Besides, there are a few other COGlibs around and Tundra’s spawn is an honorary local now.

      1. Rhywun

        Those who already own a home love all this protectionism.

        ^^^THIS^^^

        And those people vote.

      2. Tundra

        He’s great!

        When Henry Ford democratized transportation it freed families from being tethered to their jobs and allowed them to live in better, more affordable places.

        Want to give people more housing choices? Give them more mobility. Make it easier to reach what they can afford.

        This doesn’t mean spending even more on RTD, which spends many fold more than we do on roads, yet only carries 2 percent of the daily commutes. It doesn’t mean closing more car lanes so only bikes can ride on them.

        It means fixing our damn roads to ease congestion, and helping transit dependent people with cash, not bus passes, so they can have the mobility choices millennials do.

        1. R C Dean

          It means fixing our damn roads to ease congestion, and helping transit dependent people with cash, not bus passes, so they can have the mobility choices millennials do.

          Wait, I thought millenials didn’t have any money. And no, I’m not on board with passing out my fucking money to “transit dependent people”.

    2. Tundra

      Nice.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Totally not buying indulgences from the cult

    On the day Les Moonves was forced out of CBS in September, $20 million from his severance was earmarked for donations.
    With Moonves accused of sexual harassment and assault by numerous women, CBS said the money would go to organizations that combat harassment and promote workplace equality.
    On Friday, the self-imposed deadline to announce the grant recipients, CBS named 18 groups that are receiving donations. Two of the groups will “disburse smaller grants to additional organizations,” CBS said.
    With the help of an advisory firm called RALLY, CBS came up with three goals that underpin the initiative: “Increasing the number of women in positions of power, promoting education and culture change, and supporting victims of harassment and assault.”

    In a joint statement, the recipients said “the contributions are a step to driving real progress toward ending the national epidemic of sexual violence and harassment.”

    The national epidemic of shakedown artistry is a greater concern to me. From whom do I extort the millions I will need to pursue my campaign for justice?

    1. Tres Cool

      Contact Al Sharpton for some advice.

    2. straffinrun

      “”We thank CBS for these donations,” the joint statement said. “We also recognize these funds are not a panacea, nor do they erase or absolve decades of bad behavior.”

      Why pay if you’re still hellbound?

      1. There is no redemption for the woke.

      2. Rhywun

        Translation: “Give us more next year and maybe we’ll stop trashing your name.”

        LOL is CBS epically stupid or what.

  31. Remember when I said that Obamacare was designed to fail in order to pave the way for single payer?

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2018/12/14/medicare-all-house-democrats-best-health-care-play-column/2219376002/

    Damn I hate being right.

    1. Rhywun

      Socialism looks so attractive when you’re already rich.

      Asshole.

      1. Hyperion

        One of the great mysteries to me is how ‘rich’ people cannot figure out that the government can steal them poor as well.

    2. Hyperion

      Just in time for the House to start churning out single payer bills. Oh wait, I mean Medicare for all. Their leader Karla Marx is gonna splain how we pay for it, or not.

      1. whiz

        I think there is a magic wand involved.

    1. Count Potato

      Otoh, they only work with silver bullets.

    2. Hyperion

      Government on one side, vampires on the other. That’s a lot of bloodsucking to defend against.

  32. prolefeed

    Since Q did a buns intensive set, here’s some boobs to cleanse your palate:

    https://thesexier.com/no-bra-no-problem-29-pics/

    1. It must be very chilly wherever all those girls are.

      21.

    2. prolefeed

      Ooops, NSFW for many of these.

      Way too many to narrow down to usual top three.

      1. prolefeed

        But, for whoever was kvetching about disproportionality, 21 is very much so up top.

  33. straffinrun

    I’m trashed and the wife won’t stop texting me. Yeah, I’ll be home just like I have done for the last 18 years. I honestly don’t get women.

    1. Tres Cool

      You’ve inspired me to day-drinking while watching tOSU.

      /salutes

      1. straffinrun

        Cheers and give Jugsy a squeeze for me.

    2. Hyperion

      Pretend to be passed out, that’s what I do. She’ll go back to texting her friends.

      1. straffinrun

        Great idea.

    3. Viking1865

      The thing I treasure the most about my wife is every time she speaks it’s to communicate something that’s either important, or interesting, or funny.

      She doesn’t just talk to just to talk. She talks to say something.

      1. Chafed

        Are you sure she’s a woman?

    4. whiz

      I was out until 1:00 PM last night playing poker, and nary a peep from my wife when I got home. She’s a keeper.

    1. whiz

      I honestly don’t get the ripped or holy jeans fashion.

      1. whiz

        Oops, holey.

      2. Rhywun

        But pretending to look poor is such an attractive character trait.

        1. Trigger Hippie

          ‘Sing along with the common people, sing along and it might just get you through

          Laugh along with the common people, laugh along even though they’re laughing at you and the stupid things you do

          Cuz you think that poor is COOL!’

      3. SoberPhobic

        Showing some skin, but if you look it’s harassment.

  34. Hyperion

    “Seasonal Affective Links”

    I was afflicted by that for the first time this winter. I’ve basically worked in a workspace with the lights always off for the last 20 years. If you’ve worked in software development, you know the scene. But it’s only been without any windows in the room for the past couple of years. Although it’s generally not more than 3 days a week. About a month ago I started just falling asleep in the middle of the day. It’s dark when I drive in, it’s dark when I leave, and it’s dark all day outside a few small desk lamps scattered around a large open area. Basically, there are 2-4 days a week when I never see daylight. Fuck winter. Anyway, I parked a giant sun lamp on my desk about the same brightness as your average blue giant star. That seemed to have helped. Yes, I’ve blinded a few people and others have died from severe radiation burns, but I’ve managed to stay awake.

    1. Akira

      About a month ago I started just falling asleep in the middle of the day. It’s dark when I drive in, it’s dark when I leave, and it’s dark all day outside a few small desk lamps scattered around a large open area. Basically, there are 2-4 days a week when I never see daylight.

      That’s my job right now except we have fluorescent ceiling lights. Still, it’s fucking depressing. Monday through Friday (and possibly Saturday and Sunday as well) I never see the sun except for on my lunch break.

      I’m really not a first shift person at all. I can do it if there’s little to no overtime, but it fucking sucks if you have to do 10-12 hour days. I’d kill to go back to second shift. At least if you have to stay over on second, you’re just losing “middle of the night” time, which isn’t useful time anyway.

      Brb, making my daily rounds on the job classified sites. Hopefully I’ll be outta there soon.

  35. Count Potato

    “The Women’s March Anti-Semites: A Cautionary, ‘Intersectional’ Tale

    Identity politics thrives by creating a hierarchy of victimhood — and every story of victimization requires a villain.”

    https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/12/womens-march-anti-semitism-identity-politics/

    1. Rhywun

      Are you telling me the original idea got hijacked by radical leftist agitprop? Well, I never.

  36. Rufus the Monocled

    OMG.

    Alex Jones has tipped over.

    Gavin ‘that’s one attitude’. Lol. He’s all wtf is going on?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCPm605LaMc

    1. Count Potato

      He does that all the time.

  37. Count Potato

    “Should Father Christmas be a woman, or non-binary?”

    https://twitter.com/BBCtrending/status/1073180827926913024

    No.

    1. Suthenboy

      My understanding is that ‘Santa Claus’ was an actual person. Who was a man.

  38. Count Potato

    “Venezuelans regret gun ban, ‘a declaration of war against an unarmed population’”

    https://www.foxnews.com/world/venezuelans-regret-gun-prohibition-we-could-have-defended-ourselves

    This is my surprised face.

    1. straffinrun

      How do you identify as “diverse”? I want off this merry-go-round.

      1. Hyperion

        Like this Diverse

      2. Rhywun

        Germany’s Lesbian and Gay Association has objected on the grounds that the new law recognises gender as being purely biological, and they argue it should also take account of “social and psychological factors”, reports Zeit.

        It appears the law is targeted at intersex people and that is problematic.

        1. R C Dean

          objected on the grounds that the new law recognises gender as being purely biological

          They’re right. Sex is biological, gender is psychological/social.

          Unless we’ve changed the meaning of all the words again.

          1. Rhywun

            I wonder if actual intersex people might be getting tired of being used as a football for “Bob who feels like a girl today” and friends.

    2. R C Dean

      Germany’s parliament has voted to recognise a third gender for government documents, meaning that citizens can now be recognised in the European country as male, female, or diverse.

      This will buy them negative woke points, but lumping all the many flavors of non-standard “gender” in one category. You might as well send them to camps.

      Pedantic quibble: “male” and “female” aren’t genders, they are sexes. “Man” and “woman” are genders. Except for statistically irrelevant genetic outliers, no matter what gender you claim, you are either a male or a female.

      1. German already has neuter nouns.

      2. Count Potato

        Masculine and feminine are genders.

      3. Hyperion

        Here’s Merkel’s hand picked sucessor, now with more fugly, more butch, and more dyke. Making the white power sign. New Nazi Merkel

        1. Rhywun

          Amusingly, she is actually more so-con than Merkel – against gay marriage etc.

          1. Hyperion

            The media will ignore that.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Anyway, I parked a giant sun lamp on my desk about the same brightness as your average blue giant star. That seemed to have helped. Yes, I’ve blinded a few people and others have died from severe radiation burns, but I’ve managed to stay awake.

    Halogen is your friend (mine, anyway). I need that harsh bright white light. The closer to sunlight, the better.

    1. R C Dean

      Yup. Or at least 3000K lights. Nearly all the lights in our house are 3000K LEDs now. “Warmer” (yellower) lights just look kinda dingy, and “cooler” (bluer) lights are cold. 3000K is the sweet spot, IMO.

      1. I like those cold blue lights on Christmas trees.

        1. Hyperion

          Mine is LED. Lights on my new car are LED also. Wow, those are bright. On high beam I can see stuff on the moon.

    2. Count Potato

      Halogen light is yellowish, LED can get you closer to sunlight.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    “Venezuelans regret gun ban, ‘a declaration of war against an unarmed population’”

    Nobody wants to take your guns away so they can more easily subjugate you. That’s just a scary story paranoid conservatives tell their children at bedtime.

    The government is your friend. They’re here to make your life better.

  41. Count Potato

    “Here’s How Much The Mueller Investigation Has Cost Taxpayers

    The Mueller investigation has cost taxpayers $25 million, according to documents released Friday by the Department of Justice.

    The special counsel’s investigation into Russia’s alleged interference in the 2016 election has been ongoing since May 2017. The latest numbers released by the department show that, in a six-month time period from April 1, 2018, to Sep. 30, 2018, there were over $4.5 million in expenditures.

    Those expenditures included over $2.8 million in salary for Mueller and his team.”

    https://dailycaller.com/2018/12/14/how-much-mueller-investigation-cost/

    I’m surprised it isn’t more.

    1. R C Dean

      The special counsel’s investigation into Russia’s alleged interference in the 2016 election anything that they think might damage Trump, his associates, allies, friends or family

      They have known from day one there wasn’t any Russian interference or collusion, because they know that the pretext for the investigation was cooked up out of whole cloth by DOJ, FBI, and misc. foreign intelligence services, so I doubt they have wasted much time on it.

    2. Hyperion

      Well, I mean if it gets rid of the worst version of Hitler ever, let’s just turn the entire federal budget over to Muleface.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    I think there is a magic wand involved.

    “Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a ten trillion dollar coin outta muh hat!”

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Dragging your kid through the desert for days on end or shipping them north with some coyote is brave and woke, but locking them in your car for five minutes is child abuse.

    Nice catch!

  44. straffinrun

    Met my brother tonight and I learned something new. When I was in high school there was this chick that I wanted to break up with. I wrote two letters. One the truth: you’re way too hairy and look like a chimp from the waist down. The other total bullshit: it’s not you it’s me blah, blah…Never intended to give her the first letter. So I just learned, 30 years after the fact, that my brother switched the letters secretly and I gave her the hairy chimp one. “Do you really mean what you said?” she asked. “Yes, it’s a tough situation.” 30 years later and I finally understand her violent reaction.

    Wish I could explain this better, but it cracked us up all night.

    1. Tres Cool

      What an absolute dick. But thats what brothers are for.
      I’m giggling.

    2. straffinrun

      Fuck it. That probably doesn’t make sense. Fun night with the bro regardless.

    3. Hyperion

      “you’re way too hairy and look like a chimp from the waist down.”

      That’s pretty damn solid right there.

    4. And as a result, Straff can no longer visit the Continental US without being shot.

    5. I mean, ultimately it’s probably best that she got the truth. Also, when you say chimp, are we talking tail? Because there was a chick I hooked up with a few times who told me that she’d been born with a tail that was surgically removed. I did not reply, “You mean like a rottweiler?” or “You know, there’s a type of guy who would pay good money to have sex with a girl that has a tail.”, but in retrospect I think I should have.

      1. R C Dean

        Because there was a chick I hooked up with a few times who told me that she’d been born with a tail that was surgically removed.

        That is not as unusual as you might think.

        Would you like to know more?

        Trust me, there are more than are “documented in medical literature”. They are typically removed before the baby leaves the hospital.

    1. Count Potato

      “Soho Prada Pulls ‘Extremely Racist’ Products With ‘Blackface Imagery’ From Window Display”

      http://gothamist.com/2018/12/14/soho_prada_blackface.php#photo-1

    2. Hyperion

      My wife has a backpack with a monkey on it just like that. Only the monkey is furry.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Are the racists the people who came up with this sockmonkey looking thing or the people that see big red lips and think “black people”?

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Halogen light is yellowish, LED can get you closer to sunlight.

    Not sure about that. The halogen exterior mount-on-the-eaves-of-your-garage light I had in the living area of my loft was harsh and white like sunlight. I only swapped it out because it ate bulbs like crazy, for some reason. I replaced it with a LED worklight. The best way to describe the difference is the halogen was like sunlight, and the LED is more like moonlight, as in a bright full moon on a clear night. To me, anyway (YMMV).

    1. R C Dean

      LEDs come in all color temperatures. Halogen is typically 3000K. You can get LEDs that are 3000K.