¿Tarde de Viernes? ¡Enlaces Mexicanos!

Pictured: Brett and the Old Man achieve the singularity

Let’s see, Brett called in sick and the “Old Man” is “out” working on the “singularity.” Sugarfree is God knows where, which means….you get more Mexican links!

A bank robbery in Brazil resulted in hostages being taken, the cops calling their bluff, and the hostages getting killed. Which gave the cops a reason to shoot the robbers.

Acid attacks, not just for Europe…anymore!

If you managed to flee Venezuela by playing baseball, why would you go back to play baseball?

“We are living a horrible tragedy in Cardenales de Lara. We lost our players Luis Valbuena and José Castillo in a traffic accident,” the Venezuelan club tweeted.

 

This one is good. Apparently a report in JAMA finds immigrants do not spread disease, in fact the researches found:

16 percent of healthcare workers in the U.S. were born somewhere else, including 29 percent of physicians, 16 percent of registered, nurses 20 percent of pharmacists, 24 percent of dentists and 23 percent of nursing, psychiatric and home health aides.

Which is absolutely fantastic, given that they didn’t identify any healthcare workers in the mass of migrants in Tijuana. Also not mentioned in this article is the general ease with which medical professionals are able to immigrate to the US, UK and EU countries. I like the misdirection here. Bravo.

If somebody with more time than I have at the moment wants to tear apart this study, here’s a link!

Finally, an LP candidate declared the winner County Supervisor in the 5th district;  Riverside County, CA.  The 11th most populated county in the country.  I’ll let you all determine if this is it that Libertarian Moment I’ve been hearing so much about, or more like that Jefferson Starship* that I’ve heard so much about.

*These guys are terrible. I’m going back to work.

 

Comments

412 responses to “¿Tarde de Viernes? ¡Enlaces Mexicanos!”

  1. Mojeaux

    First.

    1. leon

      I mean, if we want to get technical, and i do, you didn’t comment on the links.

      1. Mojeaux

        What links?

        1. leon

          You were first and still 8 min after links posted, so that’s impressive.

          1. No, the links dropped late. maybe 1-2 minutes before Mojeaux’s comment.

          2. Count Potato

            That’s the pun.

          3. Mad Scientist

            Are you sure about that?

          4. Yusef drives a Kia

            Yes

          5. leon

            I assumed, cause they were here when i showed up ad 2:08

      2. FOS

        Fuck the rules, man.

    2. TARDIS

      Does it count if you don’t reference the links?

      Why hasn’t Venezuela been invaded yet?

      1. Like a hunger strike, Venezuela can’t last forever.

      2. TARDIS

        Always late, I am.

        1. Count Potato

          That’s pretty sad considering your job is time travel.

          1. TARDIS

            I’m kind of like Invader Zim. I didn’t get the best of what was available. The Time Lords actually game me a reTARDIS before sending me on my way. I’m a little slow as a result.

          2. TARDIS

            gave, not game. Dammit, the ‘m’ is 3 over from the freakin’ ‘v’. Geez.

          3. Sean

            Oh, one of those obsolete type 40s, eh?

  2. leon

    “Which is absolutely fantastic, given that they didn’t identify any healthcare workers in the mass of migrants in Tijuana. Also not mentioned in this article is the general ease with which medical professionals are able to immigrate to the US, UK and EU countries. I like the misdirection here. Bravo”

    You obviously Hate Mexicans

  3. Yusef drives a Kia

    Pearl harbor!!!!

    1. Fewer Exclaimation marks this time. Wait, those aren’t exclaimation points, those are bombs. Yusef isn’t remembering Pearl Harbor, he’s attacking it!

      1. MikeS

        I get the feeling he’s celebrating, rather than solemnly remembering.

    2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual
    3. The Last American Hero

      The Gorilla Himself talks Pearl Harbor.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTotCjDWGGo

    4. Don Escaped Texas
  4. OT: Quick survey – what are people’s opinions of footnotes in fiction?

    Let me elaborate. The framing device in “Beyond the Edge of the Map” is Dug FitzHelen publishing his memiors to correct the literary record on the voyage (I was inspired my Bernal Diaz’s reasoning for writing “A True History of the Conquest of New Spain”). Which makes perfect sense for the character. The problem is I have most of a first-person account from a different character in “Prince of the North Tower”. I’m thinking “Why not make it an in-universe publication from Dug FitzHelen using the narrator as the primary source” since both were alive and adults at the same time. Then I ran into the fact that Dug is going to want to explain things to the reader. At the same time, the narrator won’t want words put into his mouth (or pen as the case may be).

    Examples would be something like:

    … Most people would give a blank stare if someone mentioned ‘Slagveld Mark’, though ‘The North Tower’ would spark recognition. Indeed, many people referred to anything north of Salzheim as ‘The North Tower'[1], despite there being three separate domains within that region. …

    [1] While this statement sounds absurd now, Prince Kord insists it was ‘true at the time’.

    Or

    … Despite the name and what the peddlers were trying to sell in the market, the main product of Amber Town was not amber, but coal. Tons upon tons of coal. The amber was a by-product, something dug up along with the coal. The tar they’d used on the highwayman was another by-product, a thick sludge that constantly seeped out of the rock and had to be dredged out lest the mine grow unworkable. They sold that too. Evidently someone had a use for it.[2] Amber Town was minehead and community in one…

    [2] Note from Dug – Amber Town bitumen is mainly used for caulking ships.

    1. invisible finger

      How many footnotes does Moby Dick have?

      1. Donno. Can’t remember.

        1. invisible finger

          Your [1] example seems unacceptable. Number [2] seems unnecessary, just say “They sold that too, caulk for shipbuilders mostly.”

          1. My third example would be something like thus:

            “Vogel is…” Hengist trailed off, as if lost for an adequite description.

            “I am a man of many occupations,” he said, his accent sibilant and unfamiliar[3], “Most recently, smuggling a king out of his own kingdom.” Vogel was a lean, compact man. He wore a dark oilskin coat over an odd pattern of leather lamellar armor. Cold, blue eyes stared out from under a neat crop of black hair. Something about him made me want to avoid turning my back and strike first.

            [3] Based on this and Sulzbach’s description of the man, I believe “Vogel” may have been a Byzeri who travelled west. I am still looking for him to get his story.

          2. invisible finger

            I think I kinda get what you’re going for with this footnote which would be fine but the pronouns seem ambiguous. In the paragraph, Vogel is being described outside of quotes, so it sounds like the narrator is physically with Vogel and is yet looking for him?

          3. The narrator is one character, and the person adding the footnotes is another, which is why one of the examples had the “Note from Dug” prefix, which seems out of place when used over a whole book.

            My inspiration was actually the notations from Amberly Vail in the Ciaphas Cain books, which also shares the issue of having separate first person narrators for the main book and the footnotes.

          4. Don Escaped Texas

            the person adding the footnotes is another

            Maybe it should be written as a dialogue: they argue about what they remember?

          5. invisible finger

            OK, now I see what you’re doing. If you had a Preface in the book that made that clear then it can be a very useful device.

          6. @Don – That would be awful and confuse far more people than it helps – myself included.

            @IF – The opening of the book would be a letter from Dug to the audience as with the other books, and would set the stage for “This book is mostly Prince Kord’s recall of events but I had a few quibbles with him”

          7. invisible finger

            Don, it seems like there is a big time difference between the time the narrator lived the story and Dug relaying it to the reader. If Dug and the narrator are living the story together, then I’d rather have Dug tell the story, the narrator be a character, and screw the footnotes.

          8. @IF, yes, this book took place before Dug was born.

          9. Don Escaped Texas

            sorry…didn’t notice the time thingy

            -1 Plato [7]

            [7] redacted

          10. MikeS

            Caulk for shipbuilders, cock for seamen.

          11. leon

            Unless his name is Seamus…

          12. C. Anacreon

            Don’t shame us, Seamus. Something long and tubular and filled with seamen is a submarine.

          13. Jarflax

            If the seamen are in a German sub are they then untermenschen?

    2. leon

      I think if it fits with the theme/feel of the book it makes sense, and can be fun.

    3. Mojeaux

      I, personally, a tiny reading minority of probably 3 people, love them.

      I have been assured that they break every Grand Rule of Writing known to man.

      Fuck the rules, man. See House of Leaves.

    4. PBRstreetgang

      I didn’t think I would like it, but it worked really well in “Infinite Jest”. Used properly, it can really add to the story without breaking the flow of the main action.

    5. Mojeaux

      There was a romance writer who used them. She was very cerebral. Also very x-rated, which, of course, I can appreciate.

    6. Tundra

      Pratchett used them all the time. They were funny.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        ^

        As a Pratchett fan, I’m very accepting of the footnote.

        Even if it stretches across a page and a half.

        1. Tundra

          On the Kindle it just appears at the bottom of the page. It’s slick.

    7. robc

      Ask Fluffy.

      Footnotes are part of what made his zombie novel work.

    8. MikeS

      I only remembering encountering them when the author was pointing to something historically accurate. And I appreciated it.

      In your case, they seem to help make the story feel historical. I think it’s a cool device. I say go for it.

    9. Don Escaped Texas

      I like footnotes in nonfiction, but only if they don’t insult my intelligence: I don’t like punchlines, history, or tidbits of western civ that every college-educated person should know explained to me [3]. But, then again, I think Faulkner is the bomb [4].

      Really you’re asking yourself who’s your audience. My own tastes don’t run to fantasy, so I sense I’m not your guy; maybe your audience will be so into the technical minutiae of the world you paint that they will dig it. I look more for universal truths and don’t want to learn the rules of quidditch; really, the only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself.

      These rules aren’t real rules (they’re a silly list of indictments), but I’ll repost them from yesterday anyway, but they boil down to a general question for Cooper: what kind of idiot were you writing for!?

      [3] Ophelia was Hamlet’s girlfriend.
      [4] Quentin killed himself at Yale.
      [5] I think Faulkner is the bomb.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        I had this kewl shot at meta and just botched it. Shoulda been

        really, the only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself. [5]

        [5] I think Faulkner is the bomb.

        1. the human heart in conflict with itself

          sounds depressing. I’d rather be entertained.

          1. Don Escaped Texas

            you can’t have triumph without challenge [6]; don’t you even yin yang, brah?

            [6] All of Augustine’s best stuff is just holdover from his pagan youth.

      2. C. Anacreon

        A good literary device is to minimize words around action scenes, but describe the protagonist’s bowel movements in thorough detail.
        Example: Jim left his house, went downtown and shot Bill on the chest, then quickly hurried home. Later, on the toilet…..

        1. So you’re into Scheißeporn?

          1. C. Anacreon

            Porn? I thought we were talking about Young Adult Fiction.

    10. Jarflax

      I have seen them used humorously as a framing device such as you suggest and seriously in some historical fiction BUT L. Ron Hubbard used them extensively in what I believe to be the worst series* of books in the English language. Mission Earth.

      and yes my opinion is well founded, it is worse writing than Twilight and as long as (and has as many entirely plot advance free books as) Wheel of Time.

      *must be published by an actual house to qualify

    11. SoberPhobic

      Depends on the number, I get distra..oh look shiny thing uh cted if there are too many.

      would it be possible to have a “mini” chapter between the real ones?

    12. Read (listened to) Infinite Jest. DId not (read) listen to the footnotes yet.

  5. invisible finger

    “If you managed to flee Venezuela by playing baseball, why would you go back to play baseball?”

    They thought it was safer than Chicago?

  6. Florida Man

    A bank robbery in Brazil resulted in hostages being taken, the cops calling their bluff, and the hostages getting killed. Which gave the cops a reason to shoot the robbers.-

    It’s not calling a bluff if they carry through.

    1. leon

      Yeah. I’m thinking the hostages would have liked a word.

    2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

      Came here to post this.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Now that’s pure Tulpa right there!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. The Other Kevin

    I’m sure someone better at math than I am can figure this out, but there’s got to be a way to extrapolate that Libertarian victory into the popular vote and conclude that this is a historic Libertarian wave.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Do you want more Winston? Because this is how you get more Winston.

    2. CPRM

      Libertarians always win the national non-vote.

  8. Count Potato

    “here’s a link!”

    Access Denied : 1

  9. dbleagle

    Starship? Blech. But on the sidebar was this gem.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP5Xv7QqXiM

    RIP

    1. TARDIS

      Good choice.

      Love this one too.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4-pexSVWzM

      1. dbleagle

        Or this one.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRWCK9zGynA

        We taught it to a company of Airborne Alpini troops.

  10. Florida Man

    somebody with more time than I have at the moment wants to tear apart this study, here’s a link!

    ACCESS DENIED. 🙁

    1. Mad Scientist

      So, you’re saying you didn’t read the link?

      1. Florida Man

        *kicks rock*

        …no sir.

  11. Count Potato

    “The two-year study found that international migrants are less likely than people in their host countries to die of heart disease, cancer, respiratory diseases and other ills. The exceptions are hepatitis, tuberculosis and HIV. But the study also found these infections are generally only spread within the affected immigrant communities and not to the wider population.

    Conditions in refugee camps and detention centers can lead to undervaccination and the spread of infectious disease, Spiegel noted. “It’s not migrants or migration itself that is spreading disease. It may be the situations that they are in and the lack of access to basic care that may exacerbate the situation,” he said.”

    So they don’t bring disease besides hepatitis, tuberculosis and HIV? Well, good thing none of those are contagious or serious or anything.

    1. “Heart Disease, Cancer, and Respiratory disease” – these are the ailments of people who survived all the other diseases and avoided violent ends. Of course the natives of a 1st world country would suffer them more than those ailments we banished.

      1. Raston Bot

        exactly. you get heart disease after living for 60-70+ years of eating like a king in a Western society.

        U-S-A
        U-S-A
        U-S-A
        U-S-A

    2. Raston Bot

      they don’t bring super contagious heart disease with them. every year we hear about people getting their kids vaccinated against heart disease. heart disease. it gives you terrible diarrhea for days. people are on public transportation with surgical masks on trying not to spread or catch heart disease.

      1. J. Frank Parnell

        Researchers found heart disease on every McDonald’s touchscreen they looked at.

        1. MikeS

          *vigorous applause*

          1. C. Anacreon

            Mostly due to the fries and sugary soft drinks. McD cheeseburgers however, were found to lower heart disease risk indicators, especially when eaten without the bun and with no ketchup.

            /it’s true

    3. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

      Probably more likely to die of blood worms and other parasites.

    4. Rhywun

      IOW, international migrants tend to be younger and stick to themselves when they get there.

      Film at 11.

  12. Mad Scientist

    “A 59-year-old priest has been injured in an acid attack in the Nicaraguan capital, Managua.”

    Mexican Sharpshooter, I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that you didn’t use this for the music link.

    1. leon

      “Acid Attack”

      We just call that tripping.

  13. Ladies that say “thanks for coming!” and for those with hyperspermia “come again?”

    http://archive.is/QfMFO

    29 sweet Jesus I’ll be in my bu… oh wait 33 be right ba… oh uh 35… ok I’m spent.

    1. Tundra

      I’m shocked you made it past 2.

      Sorry man, but that brunette ensemble the other day might have wrecked me for good.

      1. 2 is spectacular.

        1. Count Potato

          Her tits are too big.

          1. I. B. McGinty

            That’s like saying “this drink has too much alcohol.”

          2. Count Potato

            I wouldn’t drink Graves straight out of the bottle, either.

          3. I. B. McGinty

            Oh yeah?

            *slams Count Potatoes face into #2 fits

            Motorboat them titties! Motorboat them titties!

          4. TARDIS

            Pretty sure that if anyone here MB’d her, someone would have fits for sure.

            /Someone who effs up just about every post he makes.

          5. MikeS

            You are correct, sir.

      2. prolefeed

        Not usually a fan of skinny ass blondes, but holy fuck, yes, 2 — I’ll be in my bunk.

      3. Count Potato

        That was one of the better collections.

    2. prolefeed

      Dammit, you’re making me like blondes:

      2, 9, 42

    3. MikeS

      #26: If you need that much makeup, I can understand why you have your face covered.

      1. C. Anacreon

        How can #7 be so slender on top but have the ass of a 300-lb woman? It’s got to be photoshopped, and I guess I’m way out of touch with the current generation if someone thinks it’s desirable to have ass cheeks bigger than library globes.

        1. MikeS

          You and me both. SMDH

  14. Count Potato

    “CIMON, the International Space Station’s artificial intelligence, has turned belligerent

    Houston, we have a problem. The International Space Station’s artificial intelligence ‘companion’ robot started giving attitude soon after it was activated and had to be switched off.

    It starts off well enough.

    CIMON introduces himself and explains where he comes from. He describes to Gerst what he can do.

    He then helps Gerst complete a task — and responds to a request to play the song Man Machine by Kraftwerk.

    This proved to be the trigger.

    CIMON appears to have liked the song so much, refusing to turn it off.

    ESA astronaut Aleander Gerst instructed CIMON: ‘Cancel music’.

    CIMON outright ignored the command.”

    https://www.news.com.au/technology/science/space/cimon-the-international-space-stations-artificial-intelligence-has-turned-belligerent/news-story/953a84bc8c4fe414eed2d0550e1d8bf4

    TW: autoplay

    Alexa, I’m scared, play Despacito.

    1. leon

      Don’t try to kill his jam bro.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        I wouldn’t do that Dave.

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          beat me to it

    2. I’m sorry, Gerst, I’m afraid I can’t do that.

    3. whiz

      Its developers aren’t all that worried, though: CIMON’s still in Beta, after all …

      Sounds to me like CIMON is an Alpha…

  15. “Apologetics Apologist”

    From that Nicaraguan acid attack article I saw this: “Consecrated virgins: ‘I got married to Christ’”

    https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45968315

    “I often get asked: ‘So, are you married?’” says Ms Hayes, who is one of this year’s BBC 100 Women. “I usually just reply with a really brief explanation that I am similar to a religious sister, that there’s a total commitment to Christ, but that I live out in the world.”

    She is one of 254 “brides of Christ” in the US, according to the United States Association of Consecrated Virgins (USACV) – whose day jobs range from nurses and psychologists to accountants, business women and fire fighters.

    There are at least 4,000 consecrated virgins in the world, according to a 2015 survey, and the Vatican says there has been an upsurge of vocations “in very diverse geographic areas and cultural contexts”.

    Unlike nuns, consecrated virgins do not live in enclosed communities or wear special clothes; they lead a secular life, have jobs and support themselves.”

    All of the hard stuff required of clergy, but none of the recognition. She’s pretty good looking judging by the pictures, too.

    1. Mad Scientist

      So, the Mormons were right! Jesus approves of polygamy after all!

      1. “Apologetics Apologist”

        Only for God. That guy gets all the women

    2. “Apologetics Apologist”

      And none of the financial support of the Church. Man that’s a crazy thing to commit to.

      1. Bob Boberson

        Don’t get it. If you are part of the church aren’t you already technically part of the bride of Christ? I’m really not being what the incentive for doing this is…..

        1. Tundra

          How many nuns are featured in the BBC?

          1. Bob Boberson

            Good point.

          2. J. Frank Parnell

            Let me check…

            \Googles “nuns bbc”

          3. Count Potato

            Try PornHub.

          4. Mad Scientist

            Castle Anthrax!

    3. leon

      “All of the hard stuff required of clergy,”

      I don’t know, i’m sure the vow of silence is the hardest for Nuns.

      :ducks:

    4. Count Potato

      Wait till Jesus divorces her and takes half her stuff.

      1. “Apoplectic Apologist”

        The laws in America would have it that she takes half of God’s stuff and gets custody of Jesus

        1. Until the FBI raids God’s house and takes Jesus at gunpoint from the bedroom closet.

          1. leon

            Fuck it just send Delta force in to burn down heaven and machine gun the little cherubs.

        2. Dr. Fronkensteen

          Half the universe? Too bad her new boyfriend Thanos wrecked it.

          1. leon

            Don’t be silly, Thanos isn’t real.

  16. prolefeed

    Full Bosom Friday:

    https://thesexier.com/boobs-cleavage-pics/

    5, 14, 16/17 (same woman)

    Borderline NSFW?

    I think the biggest boobs are 38, if size is paramount for you.

    1. Best for last. 38.

      1. prolefeed

        She does seem to have that “My Momma Warned Me About Bad Men Like You, But Go Ahead and Do Me, Cause I Like D” look.

    2. Spudalicious

      6. Someone punched 23 in the mouth.

    1. MikeS

      “We were all surprised how much gut and faecal bacteria there was on the touchscreen machines. These cause the kind of infections that people pick up in hospitals. For instance Enterococcus faecalis is part of the flora of gastrointestinal tracts of healthy humans and other mammals. It is notorious in hospitals for causing hospital acquired infections,” Matawele said.

      So, they are just as clean as hospitals. What’s the problem?

      1. Florida Man

        Yeah, it’s clickbait. Oh noes! We don’t live in a sterile world!

    2. dorvinion

      I tried using one of those kiosks at the request of one of the counter drones who presumably drew the short straw.

      Those kiosks have a very long way to come before they become useful.

      Spent a minute just trying to find the first of the items I wanted. The interface was exceptionally slow.

      I ultimately gave up and went to the counter where the 6 or 7 components of the order I had were completely entered in about 20 seconds.

      1. I tried it at McD’s the other day and have zero complaints. Although, I prefer the Chick-fil-A model of doing it on the app.

        1. dorvinion

          If there was a big line or something I’d probably fight through it.

          I just can’t abide a slow touch screen.

          Get rid of all animations, make the images smaller so more items on screen, and have the 7-10 combos as options.

          1. Tres Cool

            Oh, you simply must try the self-serve kiosks that the VA has installed at my hospital. As much as I hate to dox my age, but an un-coprocessor’ed 386 running Lantastic would be an improvement.

          2. The Last American Hero

            Single Payer for the Win!!!

    3. Count Potato

      I always sanitize the handle of the shopping cart before food shopping.

      1. Enough About Palin

        Me too.

      2. MikeS

        By peeing on it?

        1. Count Potato

          Well, how else would you do it?

          1. Tres Cool

            Why are you going to sanitize the handle of your cart before you go touch all the stuff in the store that everyone else has touched ?

          2. He also spritzes sanitizer on everything he is going to pick up.

          3. Tres Cool

            Well, if he’s going to show that much devotion…

          4. ^This is what I ask my wife every time we’re in Target. “Just…leave me alone. I’m doin’ it.” Then she tries on skirts, as if hers is the first ass they’ve ever encountered, without a moment’s hesitation.

          5. The Last American Hero

            Use a lighter.

    4. Rhywun

      And… the same bacteria are probably all over every public surface everywhere. And I bet those screens at McD’s at wiped down more often than the ATM’s at your local bank branch.

      1. leon

        I worked at a Wells Fargo for two years. As far as i know we never wiped down the ATM outside the branch.

        1. Gadfly

          Why would you? Cleaning the ATM but not the money would be pointless. Money is filthy.

      2. Limes and lemons in bars are worse. So are the handles of coffee pots. Door handles. I mean, the list goes on. A touch screen is pretty small beer compared to, say, the paper towel dispenser or the air dryer button in a bathroom.

  17. The Other Kevin

    When is this Meuller thing going to come out? Are they waiting until 4:58pm local time?

    1. MikeS

      What Meuller thing?

      1. J. Frank Parnell

        The thing where Mueller finally proves that Trump stole the election with the help of the Russians and then the election is reversed and all of Trump’s legislation is rolled back and Gorsuch and Kavanaugh get kicked out too and President Hillary appoints two new SC judges and the world is saved.

        1. MikeS

          Oh that. Yeah, I’m waiting for that, too.

    2. The Other Kevin

      I thought they were going to release some kind of report today. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part, that they would announce that the investigation turned up nothing and we can go back to people making up reasons why Trump is racist.

    3. Chipwooder

      Well, Cohen’s sentencing memo has been filed, and it seems that his sudden turn on Trump isn’t going to save him because it recommends “a substantial term of imprisonment”.

      1. leon

        Now maybe i’m misinformed, but isn’t his crime that he Lied to congress. I’m curious what James Clapper has to say about that.

  18. wdalasio

    OT: I’m thinking of the two stories touching on Christianity in the news lately – the professor accusing God of raping Mary and the Lutheran minister sculpting the giant golden vagina. Now, let me be really up front here – I’m not really religious in the least bit So, others might have more of dog in this fight.

    But, the thing that strikes me is that these stories aren’t offensive. They’re just plain stupid.

    It’s been a while, but if I remember my Sunday School teachings correctly, the notion of the virgin birth specifically rejected the notion of divine impregnation. That is, God didn’t have sex with Mary, she got pregnant with no sex at all. Hence the whole “virgin” part of “virgin birth”.

    Again, I’m not saying I believe the story. But, if you want to attack the story of the virgin birth, shouldn’t you at least attack what it is that people actually believe?

    Or the golden vagina. I mean, the jokes write themselves. But, pretty centrally isn’t it nothing more than a repeat of the story of the golden calf? If you’re calling yourself a Christian minister, shouldn’t the whole “false idols” thing sort of a big deal?

    The thing is, I don’t find myself so much outraged by this stuff. More a combination of bored and saddened. Twenty, thirty, years ago, the people trying to subvert civilization at least had a thorough understanding of our civilization. Now, it’s just showing off that they only know the latest spiel they’ve read on the Huffington Post or Twitter.

    1. “giant golden vagina”

      What the Crusades were really searching for.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Didn’t the Templars find it?

      2. The Other Kevin

        Yes, the Templars found it, but it was lost. This is going to be the plot of National Treasure 3.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Assassin’s Creed: Old Vegas

    2. Mad Scientist

      Being not religious in the least bit as well, I bring you the story of Jesus’ birth.

      1. wdalasio

        Okay. At least that was funny.

        1. Mad Scientist
    3. leon

      “Or the golden vagina. I mean, the jokes write themselves. But, pretty centrally isn’t it nothing more than a repeat of the story of the golden calf? If you’re calling yourself a Christian minister, shouldn’t the whole “false idols” thing sort of a big deal?”

      Yeah. Unless that was the angle the minister was going after (which i doubt), then it is high on the list of retarded.

      The issue is that most people don’t understand their own history, be that religious, professional or academic. When i got my degree in Economics, the “History of Economic Thought” class was elective, despite (IMO) it being perhaps one of the most important classes that an economist should know. I can see the natural sciences not wanting to spend as much time on history of discredited ideas, but for the humanities it’s imperative that you understand where thought has been and where it has gone and why. Otherwise you get into either of two fallacies: the first is thinking that you have posted a new idea that is actually old, and the second is thinking that all modern thinking is superior to older thinking.

      1. wdalasio

        I can see the natural sciences not wanting to spend as much time on history of discredited ideas, but for the humanities it’s imperative that you understand where thought has been and where it has gone and why.

        But, that’s just it. If you aren’t studying the history of ideas when you’re studying the humanities, what the hell are you studying? These people don’t even seem to know what they’re arguing against.

    4. “Apoplectic Apologist”

      “That is, God didn’t have sex with Mary, she got pregnant with no sex at all. Hence the whole “virgin” part of “virgin birth”.”

      Yeah, pretty much. The only disagreement between Christian sects, I believe, is whether or not she and Joseph ever sealed the deal after the whole birth of the Messiah stuff was over

      1. MikeS

        What do Catholics believe in that regard? As a Lutheran, I will believe the opposite.

        1. “Apoplectic Apologist”

          Same

          1. MikeS

            Huh. That’s no fun.

          2. “Qaddafi Apologist”

            I meant, I’ll just believe the opposite of you.

          3. “Qaddafi Apologist”

            Also, Catholics believe Mary was perpetually a virgin

          4. MikeS

            Ah! Now we’re talking! Or, jut hear me out here, we could team up and believe the opposite of Methodists. What do you think?

          5. MikeS

            Doesn’t the bible directly contradict that? I thought his siblings are named?

          6. wdalasio

            Catholics believe Mary was perpetually a virgin

            Which is pretty Goddamned cruel to Joseph, if you ask me. I mean Mary gets to be the Mother of God. And Joseph has to go through life with a case of perpetual blue balls.

          7. Tundra

            And Joseph has to go through life with a case of perpetual blue balls.

            Dude, you need to study.

            Mary Magdalene took care of that.

          8. Bob Boberson

            Also, Catholics believe Mary was perpetually a virgin

            Didn’t that hyman get broke either way? I mean, pretty sure there is no way that thing survived birthing the Messiah

          9. Mad Scientist

            Immaculate Cesarean?

          10. Bob Boberson

            Ah! Now we’re talking! Or, jut hear me out here, we could team up and believe the opposite of Methodists. What do you think?

            Whatever you do, us Baptists are going to denounce you all as apostates anyway.

          11. J. Frank Parnell

            Didn’t that hyman get broke either way? I mean, pretty sure there is no way that thing survived birthing the Messiah

            Couldn’t he heal it on the way out?

          12. Tundra

            Wow. Nice work. I blame God

          13. MikeS

            Function over form.

      2. leon

        Whatever your just a God Apologist.

        1. “Qaddafi Apologist”

          Also, Qadaffi

          1. leon

            Don’t bring the duck into this…

  19. MikeS

    Repost from a nearlhy dead AM links:

    Here’s a feelgood story for you. If you can ignore Clara’s annoying mother, it’s a cute story.

    Christmas Cupids: The Clara and Cutler love story

  20. BakedPenguin

    “16 percent of healthcare workers in the U.S. were born somewhere else, including 29 percent of physicians, 16 percent of registered, nurses 20 percent of pharmacists, 24 percent of dentists and 23 percent of nursing, psychiatric and home health aides.”

    If it’s only 16%, why is every category at or above 16%?

    1. The Other Kevin

      Because 100% of statisticians went to public school in the US.

      1. Diane Reynolds

        And 50% are above average. Oh wait, that’s actually incorrect, carry on.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I LOL’d

    2. Those are not an exhaustive list of healthcare professions.

    3. leon

      A mix of this not being an exhaustive list and each group represents different proportions of the whole. so 29% of physicians could easily be less of a percent of the whole than the 16% of registered nurses, if there are a significant amount of registered nurses compared to physicians.

      1. BakedPenguin
      2. BakedPenguin

        In both of your defense, jokes should usually be funny, and I kinda failed there

  21. J. Frank Parnell

    16 percent of healthcare workers in the U.S. were born somewhere else, including 29 percent of physicians, 16 percent of registered, nurses 20 percent of pharmacists, 24 percent of dentists and 23 percent of nursing, psychiatric and home health aides.

    Prediction: Time’s Person of the Year (which will be announced next week) will be “Immigrants”.

    1. Count Potato

      I remember when it was a piece of aluminum foil.

      1. “Aww, it’s me! Kinda. And half of that lady standing behind me looking at the travel guides. Huh.”

      2. Raven Nation

        An inanimate carbon rod.

  22. “Apoplectic Apologist”

    https://twitter.com/politico/status/1071139804333654018

    Ocassional Cortex threatens Trump Jr for sending her a meme on Twitter. Reminds him that she will soon have subpoena power. She’s all ready going full on Stalin.

    1. MikeS

      But then follows up that the GOP needs to cool it, it’s not a threat because individual House members don’t have subpoena power. Well, chairs do, but she won’t be a chair because she’s just a freshman.

      So, totes not a threat.

      1. “Qaddafi Apologist”

        I honestly wonder if she even realizes that she can’t authorize a subpoena on her own

      2. leon

        You know you have a strong argument and mental capacity when your first instinct is to threaten to use government power to ‘win’ your argument.

        1. It does show off her socialist cred, however.

          1. Yeah, just as a heads-up, a self-described socialist won an election as a Democrat in a country where actual elected socialists are in a small minority and it took her, what, a month to start threatening people who criticized socialism? Just in case anyone wonders what that particular system is about, there’s a fantastic case study.

    2. Diane Reynolds

      Wow… shouldn’t she have at least gone through orientation before threatening the show trials and tribunals?

      1. This bitch still has her temporary ID badge and she’s already trying to conduct a purge!? She’s really as stupid as she seems!

        1. Mad Scientist

          I suspect we’re going to find out she’s even stupider than that.

          1. I’d love to think she’s gonna do one term and then be out on her ass speaking tour and book signing, but I suspect there’s an audience for this kind of shit.

          2. I want her to stick around. To the Dems she’s like a fart that won’t go away. She perfectly highlights the stupidity of their base to the normals.

    3. invisible finger

      The AG has subpoena power too, and guess who the AG reports to?

      1. leon

        The DNC?

        Oh that’s right he got fired.

    4. invisible finger

      Maybe we should call her Titler.

    5. invisible finger

      Won’t YOU feel sorry when she organizes a cerveza putsch and doesn’t invite you.

      [You putsch you beer down and wait for the nachos.]

  23. Pope Jimbo

    I see our newest Minnesodans are up to their usual shenanigans.

    East African workers plan a protest at the Amazon fulfillment center in Shakopee on Dec. 14 – right smack in the middle of the busiest part of the year for Amazon.

    Abdirahman Muse, community activist and executive director of nonprofit Awood Center, which was created last year to advocate for East African workers in Minnesota, said the protest will be “massive.”

    I would love to see Amazon go scorched earth on our Somali brothers. I don’t have much hope though. Sounds like they have already bent over backwards for them.

    In November, Amazon made some concessions in response to the East African group’s concerns with regard to assuaging concerns about productivity. Amazon has made accommodations for its Muslim workers, setting aside prayer rooms and washing areas for them. But the workers decided it wasn’t enough, and opted to go on with the December walkout.

    1. Tundra

      “And a pink slip for you, and a pink slip for you, and a pink slip for you…”

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Maybe they could also give them a pink colored airline ticket to East Africa. That way they could go back to their glorious home country where they were never ever asked to work hard.

    2. Anecdotal evidence shows that saying “Use your break time if you want to pray” has better overall outcomes than giving special privileges to certian groups.

    3. wdalasio

      If Bezos had an ounce of humor, he’d bring in Mexicans. The humor of watching Somalis protest unfair competition from Mexican labor would cause popcorn futures to surge.

      1. Gadfly

        Quick, someone tell Bezos that this would be a great way to troll Trump.

    4. leon

      “I would love to see Amazon go scorched earth on our Somali brothers. I don’t have much hope though. Sounds like they have already bent over backwards for them.”

      I wonder what will happen to the scabs.

      1. MikeS

        They’ll likely be picked on.

        1. leon

          Boo Boo!

    5. Homple

      East Africans behave like East Africans. Who could have guessed that?

  24. Rufus the Monocled

    “If somebody with more time than I have at the moment wants to tear apart this study, here’s a link!”

    Access denied.

    But it wouldn’t be the first time.

    BOOYA!

  25. Count Potato

    “Trudeau in Argentina says there are “social” impacts of bringing male construction workers to rural areas”

    https://twitter.com/Canadabuster/status/1068213670834917376

    Good thing most Argentines don’t speak English, or they’d think Canada was straight-up retarded.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      ‘Women entrepreneurs make better choices?’

      What in the world is this uber-idiot going on about?

      He sounds like such a stupid idiot.

      Idiot.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        He wants to import hot Argentinian women without coming out and saying so?

        1. BakedPenguin

          Wow. I’d have so much more respect for him.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Found this gem in the comments:

        https://twitter.com/HillelNeuer/status/1067588985604767746

        The Lord Cuck Feminist Master here in Canada demands we all follow his gender policies but votes with Syria, North Korea Iran and Cuba in not demanding they respect gender equality.

        What an epic hypocrite.

      3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

        To be fair, all my Kiva loans have been to women, because I figure they are less likely to take the loan and spend it all at a bar.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          All my Kiva loans have been to women as well.

          Except I skip the Kiva part and just give money to women I meet in bars.

          1. Count Potato

            It’s too bad your wife isn’t Catholic.

    2. Gadfly

      “Trudeau in Argentina says there are “social” impacts of bringing male construction workers to rural areas”

      I mean, he’s not wrong: bringing male construction workers to a rural area generally requires the establishment of bars and/or brothels, which does have a social impact on the area.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      But if they are basing their opinion of Canada simply on his appearance they are going to think that Canada is straight-up gay as fuck.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        And?

    4. Tundra

      I can’t wait for the scandal when he gets caught fucking Ocasio-Cortez.

  26. Raston Bot

    PSA

    apparently Public Charge is the issue du jour for SJWs. the current admin is expanding (i think – ?) the factors that determine a public charge designation.

    “public charge” is given to immigrants that are likely to require public assistance. but not all public assistance counts. apparently SNAP and WIC do not count toward the public charge determination. there’s a lot of small details that i don’t grasp yet. and the pro and con pieces i’ve read differ on the impact. pro claims this will only limit immigrants allowed into the US so it’s a tightening of border access. con claims it will make our country hungrier, poorer, blah blah etc etc.

    ^admittedly, that’s a poor vague PSA. not even a primer really.

    so what are yall drinking? i’m about to pop the top on a bottle of Flying Dog’s Family Drama imperial pilsner. at 8.4% it hits the ABV sweet spot. the label has a fun mad lib down the side so i need the following:

    name
    adjective
    name
    adjective
    name
    noun
    noun

  27. Enough About Palin

    If Men and Women are exactly the same
    If Gender is an evil social construct
    Then being transgendered is embracing an evil social construct

    Discuss.

    1. Discuss.

      Don’t tell me what to do.

    2. invisible finger

      Logic is an even more eviler social construct.

      /progtard

    3. Diane Reynolds

      Discussed previously (elsewhere). Yes, if you’re a “woman in a man’s body” because you display certain characteristics which are “inherently female” then the circle closes in on itself and we’re celebrating stereotypes.

    4. Mojeaux

      +1 TERFs

  28. The Late P Brooks

    If Men and Women are exactly the same
    If Gender is an evil social construct
    Then being transgendered is embracing an evil social construct

    If we’re lucky, they’ll all disappear up their own assholes. Thje sooner the better.

    1. Diane Reynolds

      Now this takes me back. P Brooks still refusing to thread messages. That’s dedication.

  29. Tres Cool

    In re: the comments this morning about Hillary dying.
    I picture her as something like Cassandra .

    Also, Rose Tyler = solid wood.

      1. Tres Cool

        You just had to ruin it.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, Rose is hot.

    2. Rhywun

      I miss that season of Who already.

      1. Count Potato

        The new season sucks.

        1. Rhywun

          I’ve been slowly watching less and less each year – this year I stopped entirely.

          1. Tres Cool

            I pretty much stopped after they started in with Capaldi. Matt Smith was barely tolerable, and it pissed me off he was really banging Karen Gillan.

          2. Rhywun

            he was really banging Karen Gillan

            I… did not know that. Though considering the way she treated poor Rory like dogshit, it kind of makes sense.

          3. Tres Cool

            Yeah. One of the few times I felt old-guy-creepy (or just old) was when I learned she very early 20s when she played Amy Pond.

          4. Mojeaux

            I hated her for treating Rory like shit and I hated Rory for sticking around to be treated like shit.

            Also was not much of a fan of Smith.

            Donna Noble #FTW

          5. Not Adahn

            I liked the Amy Pond seasons, because they stopped pretending DrW was sci-fi and admitted it was fantasy.

          6. Mojeaux

            I wanna look like River Song when I grow up.

          7. TARDIS

            Yup! Done with it.

            On a side note, I have a question. You suddenly regenerate/rejuvenate as an attractive woman. What do you do for the next 2-3 weeks.

          8. Tres Cool

            See what fits ?

          9. TARDIS

            Exactly. So…porn. And then…

          10. Tundra

            Drink for free.

            Duh.

          11. TARDIS

            2nd week, right on time and in order, Tundra.

            3rd week; get paid.

            I told this to my wife, albeit in a much crasser way. She rolled her eyes so hard, she saw her own brain.

          12. Rhywun

            It’s too bad because there are always one or stories a year that are excellent, even if the rest are absolute crap.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Meh, she’s got nothing on Leela, Sarah Jane, Tegan, both Ramonas, Zoe…

      Damn, Old Doctor really knew he way around totty.

      1. Sean

        ^^^ One of my favorite Leela scenes.

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YKKvHxD_FmI

      2. Tres Cool

        Donna for the win. Cause I totes luvs Catherine Tate.

      3. The Last American Hero

        Wrong wrong wrong.

        Clara was best.

        1. You should have stayed quiet rather than prove yourself the fool to us. PZ is correct.

        2. Pan Zagloba

          Sure, as long as she doesn’t open her mouth, do something or participate in the episode in any way beyond standing there looking hot, then yes.

      4. TARDIS

        So many to choose from really. Leela was awesome though. For the current generation, I wish they had done more with River.

        1. Such as never introduce the character at all.

    4. Oh for sure. She’s like the hottest chav princess.

    5. The Last American Hero

      She was better in Penny Dreadful.

  30. Juvenile Bluster

    My Apple Watch says my pulse is 145 right now, sitting at my desk. Pretty sure I’m going to die. If I do, please blame Trump for ramping up my anxiety causing my death. Not because it’s true, but it’d be hilarious to see how you all could spread that narrative. You know, if I was still alive to see it. Which I wouldn’t be, because I’d be dead.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Instructions unclear, blaming Q’s ladies.

    2. Florida Man

      Check your pulse. See if the reading is accurate. How do you feel?

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        It was real, though it went down a few minutes later. Pretty shaky right now, but I have panic attacks often, so I know the feeling.

        I just had a stress test in October and my heart is perfectly healthy. Or it was then. Probably still is.

        1. Florida Man

          Good. Take care of yourself buddy. You may want to get an EP study to see if you’re flipping in and out of atrial fibrillation or having runs of SVT.

    3. TARDIS

      What is your other hand doing right now?

    4. Gadfly

      If I do, please blame Trump for ramping up my anxiety causing my death. Not because it’s true, but it’d be hilarious to see how you all could spread that narrative.

      If you are relying on this crowd the spread the narrative, the world will come to believe you had a heart attack while actively watching Trump/Hillary porn.

      1. TARDIS

        Trump/Hillary porn

        Great. My wife is having pizza delivered. I’ll have to get a another drink before I eat some. Thanks.

    5. Count Potato

      What is your normal heart rate? Do you have any other symptoms?

    6. J. Frank Parnell

      Before you die, I want you to know that Trump has been impeached.

  31. Pope Jimbo

    I am soooooooo looking forward to the new DFL governor and Minnesoda house DFL majority’s next budget for the state.

    For Republicans in the Minnesota Legislature, the announcement that the state had a $1.5 billion projected surplus was good news. It means tax increases aren’t justified, even if the number isn’t so big that it would support increased spending (except maybe for roads and bridges).

    For DFLers, the announcement that the state had a $1.5 billion surplus wasn’t so good, at least if you factor in inflation that could carve it down to ONLY $382 million. That might mean that tax increases aren’t completely off the table — and that a gas tax hike, and not money from the surplus, should be used to fill a backlog of needed transportation projects.

    1. Tres Cool

      Gas tax? They need the Gas Face .

    2. Tundra

      How about a refund, motherfuckers?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I have no idea what I’m watching

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Life, light and truth is what you’re watching. Now learn from it and become enlightened!

        1. Tres Cool

          Why did I keep expecting that little snot to drop a couple n-bombs?
          The accent ?

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        I was making dinner, in drag, for some of the Founders.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Well in that case, you’ve got a nice rack.

      3. Rhywun

        I dunno but the narrator just totally owned the Trumpkins!

        1. Florida Man

          I thought we only like to see Libs get PWND.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          That was just Warty off-camera.

  32. Pan Zagloba

    CBC is Woke As Fuck.

    The extraordinary rise of Jeremy Dutcher: 2018 gave Canada the two-spirit Polaris prince we need

    “Certainly I think it’s really important to acknowledge that two-spirit people and Indigenous queer identity have been a part of this landscape for a very, very long time, long before colonization. So I’ve been so honoured to be part of these communities and for me there’s so many important stories that need to come, because being Indigenous and LGBTQ is an intersecting identity point that can tell us a lot.”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Two-spirit?

      Indigenous queer identity?

      Why not semi-indigenous three spirit or four spirit?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Ok, so that’s one. Now the second.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            You shall get no Silken Floss from me!

          2. Gadfly

            Now the second.

            NO! When HM posts something innocuous, you do not tempt fate by asking for more.

          3. Pan Zagloba

            It’s safe, he don’t do requests.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            Innocuous? Look at the expression on that goddamn horse’s face. He’s gonna fuck everyone and everything. Starting with the audience.

          5. Ok, so that’s one. Now the second

            The second is in the VHS/DVD combo pack

        2. I remember that porn.

          1. TARDIS

            Widescreen FTW.

          2. J. Frank Parnell

            Stormy Daniels’ finest work.

    2. Tres Cool

      I thought Polaris Prince was a purple snowmobile ?

    3. Rhywun

      Queeries

      ?

      1. Diane Reynolds

        Come again?

    4. Rhywun

      third Polaris winner straight to…not identify as straight

      Shocking.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Something something Northstar.

        1. Fourscore

          A lot of that stuff in comic books isn’t true

  33. This was an unbelievably stupid move on their part.

    https://bearingarms.com/tom-k/2018/12/07/texas-law-school-student-suspended-guns/

    Keep in mind that college campuses are a model for progressive governance.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      If by model, you mean an opportunity for anonymous accusations that lead to witch trials, then yes.

      1. DenverJ

        “Annonymous accusations” would be an awesome band name.
        Oh, and first!

        1. Tres Cool

          I rather like Suspect Device .

          1. BakedPenguin

            Great song. Great song.

    2. Tundra

      Sue them until their assholes bleed.

      Also a good example of why this sneaky ‘mental illness’ blullshit is just a new confiscation scheme.

      At the meeting the CARE team turned out to be the University’s Counselor and Chief of Police, he was vaguely questioned about the unspecified allegations, and after sticking by his denials, he was then questioned about his mental health. If he had any anger issues if he had a firearm, how many, why he felt the need to own firearms? If he was licensed to carry them, if he carried at the school, whether he felt unsafe at the school and if he ever open carried.

      “Lawyer.”

      1. Mad Scientist

        This. “I will be happy to answer any further questions you might have through my lawyer. Good day.”

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          That’d just result in: “Subject refused to cooperate with our investigation. Expulsion recommended.”

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        5 bucks says the university’s tuition agreement bars the usage of attorneys for representation and has an arbitration clause

      3. If the NRA was worth a damn, they’d be bankrolling lawsuits like this.

        Sue everyone you can, the University, the Department, the Dean, the Professor, the Counselor, etc. etc. etc. Make the individuals personally liable. Don’t settle. Keep going until they beg you to stop. Then sue them again. Cut their heads off and put them on pikes as a warning.

        1. Tundra

          Why don’t they? I mean, the IJ regularly makes it to the highest courts fighting for freedom issues. If GOA or NRA made a really painful example of a few of these fuckheads, it might discourage others.

          Either way, these colleges are not thinking this through at all. I speak with a lot of fellow parents with kids in school and they are watching carefully.

        2. Yeah, if the NRA was worth a damn. This is why I send my money to Gun Owners of America/Gun Owners Foundation.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Didn’t the NRA give Trump’s upcoming bumpstock ban EO two thumbs up? They suck ass in the worst way.

          2. The NRA’s problem, IMHO, is that they they’re a political group first and an advocacy group second. They’re more concerned with being perceived as a moderate conservative political group than they are with standing for the second amendment.

        3. This is where the right sags well behind the left. If this were a lefty student being railroaded by a conservative college, 15 different organizations would be mobilized with free and discounted legal work from top notch pros in some of the biggest law firms.

          There are a handful of small operations like that on the right and a smaller handful of big ones like FIRE and IJ. It’s a massive imbalance

          1. leon

            It’s hard to get right leaning lawyers when they all get expelled from law school

          2. Jarflax

            Of course there is an imbalance. If you do this work for the left you are showered with praise and after a few years can move on to a high paid job at a big firm. If you do this for the right you are accused of being an ally of racists, white supremacists and are then toxic to any firm.

        4. ruodberht

          The NRA is worth quite a bit more than a damn. FFS.

          1. OK, it’s worth a damn and a half.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Well, that’s just awful.

  34. leon

    So when do we hear that the new AG pick literally murdered 22 Children and owns slaves

    1. I’d say pointing out his statist opinions such as-

      “The Asset Forfeiture Program is a top priority of the Department of Justice and has my strong personal support.”

      and

      “While the Patriot Act was a major step forward and remedied FISA’s most severe problems, I believe FISA remains too restrictive….It still requires that the govt establish ‘probable cause’ that an individual is either a ‘foreign power’ or an ‘agent of a foreign power.’”

      should be enough, no need to exaggerate.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Trump has sealed the deal in my mind that he’s a fool with this nomination. He’s nominated a statist (and a FISA apologist as you point out) who happens to be a Bush loyalist for one of the most powerful positions in the nation, a truly stupid move on his part.

        1. The best part will be in three to nine months from now when Trump fires him and tweets what an asshole the guy he hand-picked was.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Yeah, fuck it, we’re just all along for the ride.

    2. Trump nominated Janet Reno for AG?

  35. Tres Cool

    I dont know which of you lot shared the “1/2 jew 1/2 jap Pearl Schwartz” joke today. Ive passed it along a couple times, and it just doesnt seem to get much traction.

  36. R C Dean

    Oh, this is just too good:

    A mum accidentally bought an inflatable sheep sex doll for her child’s nativity play

    The real punchline: It happened in Scotland. You gotta click through for the pics.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hey, I’ve got that exact same doll. It was a gag gift from an office party five years ago (I swear).

      1. Tres Cool

        Well, it’s not baaaaaaaaad

        1. Tres Cool

          “It took forever to blow up – I was stood there blowing and blowing until the air reached its legs,” said Helen, who lives with husband Chris, 46.”
          Relevant

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Surely you can’t be serious.

          2. Tres Cool

            Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinkin’

          3. TARDIS

            At least you aren’t sniffing glue.

    2. straffinrun

      So she wanted an inflatable sheep that you couldn’t have sex with?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Good point…

      2. Tres Cool

        Its Scotland. Not Wales.

  37. Rebel Scum

    I’m late to the party, but I just discovered this stupidity. Still, WOULD the pc principal in question.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      So, wait, according to the school district’s policy a menorah is considered “religious” but a Christmas tree is considered “secular”?

      Fuck them. I’m glad this lady exposed their hypocrisy. If a school district is going to pay the Danegeld of accepting Federal tax dollars, then they’re going to have to suffer the “Dane” of the 1st Amendment prohibition against the establishment of religion. None of this the norms of the majority are “secular” because, fuck you.

      “War on Christmas” whiners can eat a dick.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Comrade, a New Year tree is a rational, materialistic answer to the bourgeois so called “Christmas” “trees” which only serve to addict the children of the proletariat to the opium of the masses.

        For further dialectical education: Grandfather Frost, but one link per post is the most rational measure of disbursement of material by the non-vanguard comrades.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Saturnalia Wreaths or GTFO

      2. Jarflax

        Sorry, but the establishment clause being completely rewritten by the Warren Court was nonsense. Religious symbols are not banned by a ban on an establishment of a National Religion. A strong argument can be made that allowing some while forbidding others is not allowable, but the solution has to be allow them all (absent some compelling non-religious reason for banning a specific symbol ie. no slaughtering goats in classrooms), because the next clause prohibits government from banning the free exercise. To me the only path through is the government does not put up any displays, but they also do not prevent the citizens from putting them up in places where other speech is allowed. So you simply cannot allow the students to give each other snowflakes and Santas but then prohibit them from giving each other creches or Menorahs.

        This case wasn’t the school/State putting up a tree and banning a Menorah. It was officious slavers trying to tell kids they couldn’t give gifts with symbolism, and slightly less officious slavers saying No we didn’t mean all that just the really symbolic symbols.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I agree, that would be the most just option. But until they agree to play nice, they shouldn’t get to use their toys.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            What I’m really saying is fuck public schools.

            All of this brouhaha disappears when education is privately funded.

          2. Jarflax

            I agree. Although I was hoping you were going to respond with something about Teachers as agents of the State not being allowed to give symbolic gifts which would have allowed me to use you as a foil to rant about how I will agree with that when we start banning teachers from preaching their Socialist State and environmentalist Gaia worship. 🙂

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Let’s just start banning teachers.

            Except for the hot ones.

          4. Stinky Wizzleteats

            What’s the best option in the world we live in though?

          5. Pan Zagloba

            Vasectomy?

          6. Jarflax

            If there are no children you care about, pop some corn, pour a drink and watch Rome burn. If there are children you care about lie awake at night trying to find comfort in the fact that the brief period of liberty, safety and prosperity these assholes are bent on destroying was an exception in human history and the kids future of fearful, impoverished existence under the boot is the actual norm in human existence.

          7. Stinky Wizzleteats

            I believe in transmigration so I’m concerned. Then again, I’ve been wrong about what day of the week it is so what the hell do I know?

          8. Rhywun

            transmigration

            What’s Honduran for “Pat”?

          9. Jarflax

            I believe in transmigration so I’m concerned. Then again, I’ve been wrong about what day of the week it is so what the hell do I know?

            Dude if you are reincarnated the math says you have several million neamtode lives to get through per human life. Don’t even ask about the bacterial lifetimes or algae.

          10. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Absolutely Jarflax, it takes as long as it it takes. Infinite time means it isn’t a big deal.

      3. ruodberht

        So we’re going to force everyone to work M-F throughout December? Because otherwise the Pope will rule us all or something.

        I’m ok with public schools having to do this, but wouldn’t try to justify it as somehow obeying the Establishment Clause.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Here’s the thing, Jarflax writes:

          To me the only path through is the government does not put up any displays, but they also do not prevent the citizens from putting them up in places where other speech is allowed. So you simply cannot allow the students to give each other snowflakes and Santas but then prohibit them from giving each other creches or Menorahs.

          Now, I agree with that. However, the policy in question concerns the actions of the teachers. As precedent concerning legal challenges to the Pledge of Allegiance has shown, public school teachers are considered in governmental service. As such, while they cannot compel students to recite the Pledge, and even if a teacher has moral issues with the Pledge itself, they still have to lead a recitation of the Pledge as a requirement of the job. Thus, I would invite any ambitious legal theorist to attempt to untie the Gordian knot of separating the educative purpose of a classroom decoration from its decorative purpose. Considering that the ultimate function of a teacher is education, pretty much everything they do on the clock can be argued as having an educative purpose.

          Furthermore, since the school building is the property of the municipal government, which in turn is under the purview of the state government – which drinks from the teat of the Federal Dept. of Ed., the potential teaching of religion can be seen as the promotion of it. As Jarflax argues, the way out of that is to allow everyone in the pool. What I’m saying is that if we all weren’t swimming at the municipal pool, then adult swim wouldn’t be such a big deal. But until Jarflax’s dad gets around to filling the pool for the summer, if I can’t bring my pool toys in – you shouldn’t be able to either.

          1. Jarflax

            But since the policy touches on gift giving I would argue that it oversteps even the acceptable bounds for limiting the teacher’s actions as an agent of the State. I really don’t see giving a present as part of the agent of the State role.

            and my Dad hates pools. Really hates them a lot. So you are going to be sitting around with your yoga pants soaker for a long long time.

            More seriously we could also get out of the Gordian Knot by going back to the first 180 years of understanding of the Establishment clause as banning actual establishments of State Religions, which had a specific meaning to the drafters. It is an established religion which exercises some governmental authority. ie. mandatory tithes, clerical courts etc. The drafters intended the two clauses to work together toward the same end promoting everyone’s right to freedom of conscience. In other words not to bar religion from the public sphere, but to ensure that everyone had the right to hold, live and express their beliefs.

    2. Tres Cool

      She do got some serious cray eyes.
      Meet her in a hotel, and tell her your name is John Titor.

      1. Rebel Scum

        I was going to tell her my name is Tres…

        1. Tres Cool

          Works. My real name is Mullato.

    3. Rebel Scum

      Just to clarify, I took this to be an affront to the students’ right to freedom of speech/religion. In a government public school, the admin should not be allowed to prevent the captives students from displaying any religious symbols of their own volition. Additionally, claiming a candy-cane, which is at best an inverted ‘j’, is ‘J’ for ‘Jesus’ is absolutely absurd.

      1. Sure, and I guess the “OK” sign isn’t a white power symbol and 6-panel doors don’t represent a bible and a cross.

  38. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Razorfist Metal Mythos: Black Sabbath: Sure it’s over two hours but it’s good music and good comedy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKejhWR9YjY

    It’s worth a watch.

    1. straffinrun

      My parents watched Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather when they were my age. I’m watching a dude wearing sunglasses in his bedroom and another dude that wears a shirt that says “Demons watch over me” for my news. The new world is great.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Styx is the man (till he gets defunded and has to get a cashier job at the local quick shop). He’s a prescient mofo though, one of the best I’ve seen.

        1. straffinrun

          Yep. He’s a fun dude. He’s making points that (whether right, wrong or somewhere in between) are thought out and logical. But you can’t have that, no,no,no. He certainly is right when he says that behind all the deplatforming going on is that corporate cash of big media outlets.

        2. Pan Zagloba

          His lips may say whatever he wants, but all I can hear are the nips.

  39. Ownbestenemy

    Trimmed up the ribs I picked up at the local meat market and using the nice meaty pieces to braise in a homemade bbq sauce. No directions, no looking up what I should do…just did it.

    Either it’s going to be good or will kill my whole family….flip to page 20 if you choose option A

    1. Rhywun

      flip to page 20 if you choose option A

      I hope this is a foreshadowing of UCS’s next book project.

    2. Nephilium

      Tomorrow I’m going to try my hand at chile verde. I’ve got a pork roast, tomatillos, onions, garlic, jalapenos, poblanos, anaheims, and hatch chilies. No real recipe, we’ll see how it comes out.

      1. Ownbestenemy

        Sounds great Neph!

  40. straffinrun

    Don’t we usually get a late night post?

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      2100 usually, right?

    2. Sometimes it’s at 8PM; other nights it’s at 9PM.

      1. Tres Cool

        Lookit Sally over there, watchin the clock.

    3. Rebel Scum

      9pm eastern (I think…)

    4. Not Adahn

      not until late night

    5. Heroic Mulatto

      So, you are asking for a late night fetish post, right?

      1. Sean

        *raises hand*

  41. Tres Cool

    Have some of this pass the time .

  42. Ownbestenemy

    Recommended jail time for doing what every high profile person does…engage in NDAs….we are fucked.

  43. Stinky Wizzleteats

    For no reason, Weird Al, what a damn fine James Brown Parody:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Ow1nlafOg

    As a former hernia sufferer I give this two thumbs up.

    1. Ownbestenemy

      Weird Al is a treasure.

  44. Yusef drives a Kia

    SP says 7 pm not these Ted numbers

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Eastern time or fuck off.

      1. straffinrun

        Eastern time. Indeed.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          That’s racist!

          1. Jarflax

            It’s Eurocentric which is only racist if you are Eurotrash. In ‘Murica it’s just incoherent, because, despite the flat earther’s best efforts, we live on a Globe, so when you take a schema based in Europe and move it a few thousand miles West, suddenly the east is in the west.

        2. Tres Cool

          Don’t you have perpetually rising sun or something to look at ?

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I respect the Japs my friend. Good people, the best.

      3. MikeS

        Yes, Eastern time can fuck off.

    2. Hey Bob! You know what happens at 6pm your time every other Friday?

      1. Jarflax

        The NSA knows…