Friday Morning Links

Had a nice visit with my brother and absolutely adorable 18 month old niece, makes me want another one. Children are the best.

 

I’m running late this morning so I’m going to keep the links short.

 

Trump to announce new UN Ambassador.

 

Feds have had whistleblower information on the Clinton Foundation for over a year now.

 

SJWs take another scalp.

 

Peak oil.

 

No idea what the hell all this is about.  I’m sure we’ll all find out in good time.

 

North Carolina Democrat withdraws concession in amid election fraud allegations.

 

Purchase of product drops after public is no longer penalized for not buying it.

Teacher fired for refusing to play make believe.

 

That’s all I got for today, gotta get my girls dressed and out the door.  Listen to this without legitimately laughing out loud, it’s impossible.

Comments

594 responses to “Friday Morning Links”

  1. Festus

    f5f5f5f5 – First!

    1. Festus

      More topically – Trump picks another spokes-babe to crush U.N. balls. I shake my heads in admiration.

    2. Nephilium

      That’s some stutter there man, are you ok?

    3. Festus

      SQEEEEEEE!!!!!!

      1. dbleagle

        Plus she is a former FOX News leggy blonde with no diplomatic background. He is also signalling the “high” regard he has for the organization.

  2. >>Feds have had whistleblower information on the Clinton Foundation for over year now.

    and nothing else happened…

    1. Banjos

      Yet, usually I’m cynical, but am starting to believe that a massive case has been brewing for over a year and is now about to drop.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        It’s like the reverse Mueller!

        1. “the reverse Mueller”

          Hey, friendo, this is a Family Friendly site!

          1. Festus

            I was gonna ask but then realized that this site hosts both SF and HM and decided to let that door swing shut on its own.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            Manson Family.

          3. SugarFree

            MulattoFree is one of those handles that will get us some of that sweet Stormfront ad traffic.

        2. BakedPenguin

          You mean, they have actual evidence?

          1. Democratic Hitler

            blackguymakingcomicalyoujustgotservedface.gif

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            How hard is it to trace back the source of funds to a foundation? From there, it should be pretty crystal clear if the foundation was acting in accordance to the law. I don’t get it.

            The IRS and Rev Canada does it with ease.

            They know.

            It’s just that they apply the law differently to different people.

            By Hillary continuing her tour, she doesn’t give the impression of someone who is worried though.

          3. Count Potato

            How did the NSA not know about her emails?

          4. I imagine they have a ton of evidence, for lots of things, that can’t be used cuz of 4A.

        3. You know who else reversed some German guy?

          1. slumbrew

            Bunny Lebowski?

          2. DrOtto

            Indiana Jones?

          3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

            Dolly Buster.

    2. Festus

      It’s like the Warren Commission but moreso.

      1. BakedPenguin

        The word is morely. Don’t you even Englitch?

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Albert Michelson has a sad.

        2. MikeS

          Your the smarterest guy hear!

  3. Just a thought not a sermon

    108) Diversity—1. the state or fact of being diverse; difference; unlikeness; 2. variety; multiformity; 3. the inclusion of individuals representing more than one national origin, color, religion, socioeconomic stratum, sexual orientation, etc.

    “From today’s Washington Post, an article on Prince George’s County, MD, a large, wealthy, suburban DC county with a majority African-American population”

    “The team portrait reflected a growing diversity in the county of everyone except white people, whose numbers have been steadily declining. New data released by the Census Bureau on Thursday shows the percentage of whites in the county has dropped by half since 2000 to 12.7, while the portion of Hispanics has dramatically increased from 7.1 to 18.5 percent, and the portion of black people has remained steady at around 62 percent.”

    So, um, the county’s African-American population was at 62% in 2000, and is still at 62%. And the white (non-Hispanic, presumably) and Hispanic populations have basically swapped. But the county is more diverse? Am I misreading this, or is the Washington Post literally using diversity as a synonym for “fewer white people”?

    1. Just a thought not a sermon

      I mean, that’s long been implicit in progressive thinking, but now it’s just right out in the open. Diversity = fewer white people

      1. Rhywun

        Been that way for decades. See also: “majority minority”.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Of course ‘diversity’ means less white.

      I didn’t watch the CFL this year because coaches wore those stupid ‘Diversity is our strength’ sweaters and t-shirts. Because Trump.

      Fuck that. I’m not going to be a part of stupidity.

      1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

        They have a point if they mean that you need a diversity of body types to play those specialized positions, but yeah, that’s probably not what they meant.

    3. Yes. Diversity literally means “fewer white people”. To a somewhat lesser extent, it can just mean more black people. This is how you can have a place like PG County where whites are a minority and yet “increase diversity” by simply reducing the number of white people. And Asians don’t count. Welcome to the DMV.

      1. Oh, and the African-American family with two parents holding advanced degrees who live in a $850k colonial have less privilege than the 20-something white mechanic’s helper splitting an apartment with roommates in Dundalk.

        This area is, and I’m not exaggerating, a hotbed of racial tension. There are very few other places in the United States where race is a bigger deal.

  4. Just a thought not a sermon

    “Two underground layers in the Delaware known as the Wolfcamp Shale and Bone Spring Formation contain 46.3 billion barrels of unrecovered oil and 281 trillion cubic feet of natural gas, the DOI announced.”

    Sounds like the US is about to lower its carbon dioxide emissions some more with still more abundant natural gas. Maybe the global warming folks in Paris should take notice?

    1. Festus

      Lucky. Up here we have a P.M. that’s vacillated so much over pipelines that Alberta is buying its own rail cars in order to get product to market. There’s a mutiny a-brewin’ between the Feds and the Provinces.

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      Bone Spring Formation.

      1. Count Potato

        I got one of those from Heather Nauert.

      2. Rasilio

        Is that near

    3. Not Adahn

      I’m glad that they clarified that those shale layers were underground. I was going to be paranoid about rocks falling from the sky and damaging my paint next time I had to be in MD.

      1. Just a thought not a sermon

        Just to correct the misconception, the Delaware in this case refers to a geological formation straddling the Texas-New Mexico border, not the state.

        1. Not Adahn

          Well shit, that’s worse. Everyone knows that the Sky-rocks are bigger in Texas.

        2. Bobarian LMD
    4. commodious spittoon

      We’re going to put a lot of coal miners out of business.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I was just in Clinton, TN yesterday. I was reminded of how so many people from that part of the country just don’t have any hopes or aspirations. It’s like when coal left, they didn’t know how to cope at all.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Like Eastern KY, when coal left, people who knew how to cope left too.

  5. >>Purchase of product drops after public is no longer penalized for not buying it.

    but just wait until we get a Democrat president and the house/senate again.

    1. Democratic Hitler

      Of course you alt-right-wingers would overlook the real cause, as stated in the article:

      Health insurance experts say there are a number of reasons enrollment could be dropping this year, including funding cuts the Trump administration made to advertising and to local groups that provide enrollment assistance.

      1. Count Potato

        Because insurance agents don’t exist?

      2. The Last American Hero

        Because 8 years in, nobody is aware that Obamacare is a thing?

        Their ad budget should be about $300.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Did they ever get the website to work?

          1. Spartacus

            It’s almost there. If they could just get another $200M then it would be totally working great.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    “As detailed during the course of the public hearing, Mr. Vlaming was recommended for termination due to insubordination through his repeated refusal to comply with directives made to him by multiple West Point Public Schools administrators,” Abel said in a statement. “As superintendent, it is my responsibility to enforce board policy, and due to Mr. Vlaming’s non-compliance I therefore recommended termination.”

    The school also held a public hearing on the matter which featured testimony from the school’s principal, Jonathan Hochman, who claimed Vlaming told him that he liked and missed “the female version of the student.”

    Not only did he have the temerity to refute their claim that 2+2=5, he attempted to alter history by exhuming the “her” from the Memory Hole.

  7. Evan from Evansville

    Children are the best.

    *Stares blankly*

    After the day that I just escaped from, I am fairly certain I haven’t heard anything so wrong all day. Dealing with hundreds of other people’s mistakes children…the nightmare….seemingly never ended.

    I have turned into Mrs. Krabappel. I get her, man. Three weeks, Evan. Three weeks and you’re out. Fourteen days (X-Mas off). Four. Teen.

    1. Gordilocks

      Children, much like the government, are much better when they are less in number, and directly controlled by you.

      1. Festus

        Kids are assholes. I remember being a kid surrounded by kids. Assholes, every last one of us. Then I grew up and changed out “kids” for “people”.

      2. Nephilium

        I prefer the semi-responsible adult (aka Uncle) role. I pick them up, we go do stuff, then I return them and go home.

        1. Gordilocks

          I used to do that. Unfortunately my sister is raising the nephews incorrectly; they are glued to their screens and crazy cool Uncle Gord cannot compete with video games anymore.

          1. Nephilium

            One annual tradition we’ve done is Free Comic Book Day which coincidentally is right near the older nephew’s birthday. One of the comic stores by us does a huge event for FCBD, bringing in artists to do sketches, an art show, renting a separate area filled with toys, a mural, two different releases (Midnight and 10:00 AM), discounts, and a special lithograph every year. I’ve told both of them multiple times that it’s up to them if they want to go, so far, they’re both fans.

          2. A Leap at the Wheel

            What kid would rather stare at a screen that have some free heroin from their uncle? You must be doing it wrong.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            FREE?!?

            Are you mad?

      3. straffinrun

        You’re crazy. I love kids and not in OWMC way. Even little girls will laugh at a well-timed fart joke.

        1. Evan from Evansville

          If this is in reply to me, I have ~300 kids. Weird, Korean ones. I feel like pulling my own eyeball out and farting on it.

          Mostly I’ve just been burnt out by my current school and it’s longterm gaslighting of me to the point of fairly severe emotional instability.

          Kids need to fit into at least one category to be tolerable: Cute, Smart, Well-Behaved. More than one checkmark is preferred. Kids without any of those redeeming qualities are dead to me. It doesn’t help that kids that aren’t like that—usually I can see myself having a great time with them in a playground or playing baseball or something. But having to do work with them is just a nightmare. There are several kids now that I actively dread being in the classroom with.

          I’m confident that I would be enjoying myself again if I were in a different school with at least one or a couple other weiguks. But absolutely not here. It’s just a slog to me now. Time to eject.

          1. straffinrun

            I’m assuming you’re bigger, stronger and smarter than them. Use one of those to establish dominance. They love it.

          2. Piss on the doorframe to mark it as your territory.

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          One kid at my daycare was born with a serious head and facial deficiency including missing an ear and paralyzed right side of his mouth.

          No matter what he always comes in to say goodbye to me with a wave of the hand. He even mustered the energy once to lift his arm as his head lay on his mother’s shoulder because of a fever.

          Love that little guy.

          My brother in law – a big feller who was once a street pugilist – was with me once and saw it and was moved. Then he said something that was really sad. ‘Poor kid. The kids are gonna really bug him in school’.

          1. straffinrun

            A great kid like that fills me with rage upon hearing how sometimes asshole parents abuse them. I’m definitely not going to say I’ve met more asshole adults than I have asshole children.

          2. straffinrun

            I got that backwards. Meh. More adult assholes than kid assholes.

          3. commodious spittoon

            This is gonna get our family friendly status revoked for sure.

    2. Raphael

      Best of luck, my dude. Hope you make it through the home stretch intact.

    3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      Mine are pretty good. Everyone else’s are terrible.

  8. Just a thought not a sermon

    “Purchase of product drops after public is no longer penalized for not buying it.”–“ObamaCare enrollment down 11 percent from last year”

    Maybe now we’ll start to see a recovery in US lifespan. Also, I keep reading that the fall in US life expectancy for the past 3 years is due to the opioid crisis, but hasn’t that been going on since the 1990s? Is it really so hard to admit that massive govenrment intervention in the health care system might, just maybe, be the prime culprit?

    1. Jarflax

      The opioid crisis is not separable from the health care mess because the rise in deaths is directly attributable to the previous drive to get rid of ‘prescription drug abuse’ by drastically restricting pain medication scripts. Of course, as with any ‘successful’ prohibition the users reacted to reduced supply by finding substitutes. The substitutes were heroin and fentanyl both of which are considerably more likely to result in fatal overdoses due to fluctuations in purity than nice clearly marked as to dose pills.

      So now we have the perfect world. Pain docs in prison, the terminally ill and those with chronic pain writhing in pain, and the junkies dying like flies. God bless the drug warriors.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Am I misreading this, or is the Washington Post literally using diversity as a synonym for “fewer white people”?

    Some days, white flight is bad. Other days, it’s good. They’ll let us know what day it is.

    1. Raphael

      It’s either white flight or gentrification with those types. Just stop with the phrasing and just get on with it. What a bunch of racists.

      1. straffinrun

        Dude, we don’t get to talk about white flight.

        1. Raphael

          The plane trip over the Pacific didn’t count? Damn.

          1. straffinrun

            I finally got my Glib’s swag in the mail. I’m considering getting tiny titty Japanese gals to put the Glib’s shirt on as they take a swig off the flask. Pixel face? Click one if interested in that submission.

          2. Raphael

            *clicks one furiously*

            Speaking of, Mustang and I were thinking of doing the shindig on the 30th, you all right then?

          3. straffinrun

            Probably. Have Mustang send me a mail on my phone. That email is dead. Idiot me lost the password.

          4. Raphael

            You got it, I’ll let him know ASAP. Maybe a few bottles of shochuu or something of that like will get your memory back.

          5. Count Potato

            “Pixel face?”

            Pixelated Japanese females is too HM. How about masks?

    2. invisible finger

      WaPo won’t stop until wypipo stop buying the paper.

      1. Phrased differently; they won’t stop until they’re out of business.

        I mean, what self-respecting darkie reads WaPo?

      2. Raphael

        Sad but true, good sir.

  10. ChipsnSalsa

    Teacher fired for refusing to play make believe.

    Vlaming told him that he liked and missed “the female version of the student.”

    i didn’t know OMWC taught French.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Normalment, j’enseigne l’allemande.

      Comment dit-on “tickle my taint” en francais?

      1. Festus

        Macron ma Hollande?

        1. Old Man With Candy

          I have a friend who is almost perfectly bilingual in English and French. We were having dinner one night and she asked me, “Is there anything I can do to help you get your French better? For example, if you met a girl you liked, what would you say to her?”

          I replied, “Madamoiselle, tu as les plus bonne tetons que j’ai jamais vu!”

          Long pause.

          “Well, that’s… direct.”

          She never did try to help me with French again.

          1. A man of taste and refinement.

          2. MikeS

            He exudes class.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            “Voulez-vous des bonbons, petite fille?”

      2. Not Adahn

        anyone who mentions “entacher” is using google translate wrongly

    2. 14 Trump and Russia Questions Robert Mueller Knows the Answers To

      Amid the flurry of revelations from special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation of Russia’s role in the 2016 campaign, it’s worth revisiting the loose ends of his probe. Specifically, focusing on questions that remain mysteries to us but that clearly Mueller himself knows by this point—the Rumsfeldian “known unknowns”—provides particular clarity as to where the investigation will head next.

      Decoding Mueller’s 17-month investigation has been a publicly frustrating exercise, as individual puzzle pieces, like Flynn’s sentencing memo, often don’t hint at the final assembled picture—nor even tell us if we’re looking at a single interlocking puzzle, in which all the pieces are related, or multiple, separate, unrelated ones.

      The sheer breadth of alleged, unrelated criminality by so many different Trumpworld players—from Paul Manafort’s money laundering and European bribes to Michael Flynn’s Turkish conspiracies to Michael Cohen’s tax fraud to even the indictments of the first two members of Congress to endorse Trump, representatives Chris Collins and Duncan Hunter—make it particularly difficult to disentangle what might have transpired at Trump Tower and the White House.

      Ya’know if there was really any meat to this, it would have been leaked a long time ago. But hopers gotta hope. President Pence here we come! 😉

      1. fuggit – don’t know how that was a reply.

        1. Count Potato

          Has anyone seen Gilmore?

      2. Just a thought not a sermon

        “nor even tell us if we’re looking at a single interlocking puzzle, in which all the pieces are related, or multiple, separate, unrelated ones.”

        Just keep investigating, it’ll all come together eventually, right?

        I know the pieces fit
        I know the pieces fit

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          When the pieces of my jigsaw puzzle don’t fit I just get an x-acto knife and carve them up as needed.

      3. WTF

        Paul Manafort’s money laundering and European bribes to Michael Flynn’s Turkish conspiracies to Michael Cohen’s tax fraud to even the indictments of the first two members of Congress to endorse Trump, representatives Chris Collins and Duncan Hunter

        Yet it somehow doesn’t seem significant to them that none of this has anything to do with Russia or Trump.

        1. INTERLOCKING PIECESSSSS~!!!

      4. OneOut

        If there was even one drop of hard evidence against Trump “they” would not have allowed him to appoint 2 SC justices plus about 100 other federal level judges.

  11. ‘We are in trouble.’ Global carbon emissions reached a record high in 2018

    The expected increase, which would bring fossil fuel and industrial emissions to a record high of 37.1 billion tons of carbon dioxide per year, is being driven by a nearly 5 percent growth of emissions in China and more than 6 percent in India, researchers estimated, along with growth in many other nations. Emissions by the United States grew 2.5 percent, while those of the European Union declined by just under 1 percent.

    As nations continue climate talks in Poland, the message of Wednesday’s report was unambiguous: When it comes to promises to begin cutting the greenhouse gas emissions that fuel climate change, the world is well off target.

    “We are in trouble. We are in deep trouble with climate change,” United Nations Secretary General António Guterres said this week at the opening of the 24th annual U.N. climate conference, where countries will wrestle with the ambitious goals they need to meet to sharply reduce carbon emissions in the coming years.

    “It is hard to overstate the urgency of our situation,” he said. “Even as we witness devastating climate impacts causing havoc across the world, we are still not doing enough, nor moving fast enough, to prevent irreversible and catastrophic climate disruption.”

    1. WTF

      Even as we witness devastating climate impacts causing havoc across the world

      Assuming facts not in evidence.

      1. Democratic Hitler

        Looks like we got a Science Denier here.

      2. Just a thought not a sermon

        Dude, there were hurricanes and blizzards and heat waves and wildfires this year. Open your eyes.

        1. Democratic Hitler

          Not to mention income inequality.

        2. WTF

          You forgot the earthquakes and wars.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            It snowed here, dude!

    2. Rhywun

      They’re just getting ramped up and already Europe is starting to get tired of their shit. Who knows how much mischief these idiots will cause before they’re finally told to STFU once and for all.

  12. Raphael

    Sucks about that French teacher. Hope some private school in the area picks him up soon enough.

    1. Festus

      We had a French teacher in high school. Funny sort. Wore clogs in the winter. Tried to get us 14 year-olds to quit smoking. Had a boyfriend. Mighta been a fag.

      1. Raphael

        That is one wacky French teacher. Clogs in winter? I thought that was a Danish thing.

      2. Just a thought not a sermon

        “Tried to get us 14 year-olds to quit smoking. ”

        Are you sure this teacher was French?

        1. Festus

          Hmm… Name checked out, fluent in French, clogs, fag. Yep, he was French.

          1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

            Did he wear a beret and a striped shirt?

          2. Festus

            Naw, just faggy stuff like jeans and t-shirts. He was pretty intense about “Ode to Billy Joe”.

          3. MikeS

            *looks down at current attire*

            *narrows gaze*

      3. BakedPenguin

        Mighta been a fag.

        No Oscar hosting for you!

      4. commodious spittoon

        Nothing’s gayer than getting with a chick, dude. They’ve got feelings and always want to talk.

        1. MikeS

          I saw a funny write-up on that once. Went on about how the straightest, most manly guys do it with guys because you’d have to be gay to want to be with a girl. Wish I could remember where I saw that.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Chicks are for fags. — running joke in college.

          2. commodious spittoon

            My brother and I were big on insinuating one another’s faggotry, but I got him beat. Knocking up his wife was the gayest thing he’s ever done.

          3. You mean you didn’t knock up his wife too?

          4. Gadfly

            Wish I could remember where I saw that.

            Maybe you’ve been reading the ancient Greek philosophers?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s kind of surprising. West Point is notoriously conservative and has an excellent school system.

      I’m guessing the school board didn’t want the national Transgender lobby to drop the hammer on them and turn the school into a media shit show.

    3. Rhywun

      If only he was molesting the kids or embezzling funds… the union would be there to defend him.

    4. Count Potato

      The problem with all the political correctness in the media is that there is no way to know if the student was actually transgender or not.

  13. Gordilocks

    So there is this House Resolution, HR6159, which is supposed to call for a study into the effects of the ELD mandate, specifically on truckers who have quit or otherwise had their livelihoods affected by the mandate. I finally get a nice long letter, with references and links, professionally edited, and send the motherfucker to Thomas Massie’s office, as Massie is on the House Transportation and Infrastructure committee. Massie, for whatever reason, had previously came out of nowhere and followed me on Twitter. (Ikr?)

    I received a nice message from Massie the other day, acknowledging receipt of the submission, but that nothing would be done as yet because of Senior’s Funeral.

    Not only has Senior indebted my heirs, for generations to come, to tax debt servitude for the hornets nest he stirred up in the ME, but the one and only time I may ever participate in this dumb shit called democracy, he put a fuckin’ delay on it.

    1. WTF

      Hey, Senior also promulgated “no net loss of wetlands” and gave us the ADA, so there’s more to ponder on the tree of woe.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        And that gun control executive order and helped put that jackboot squarely on the NRA’s face so they’ll always be badge lickers from now on.

    2. Even dead, the Ruling Class can screw ya.

      1. “Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair.”

  14. The Late P Brooks

    That evidence was assembled by a private firm called MDA Analytics LLC, run by accomplished ex-federal criminal investigators, who alleged the Clinton Foundation engaged in illegal activities and may be liable for millions of dollars in delinquent taxes and penalties.

    In addition to the IRS, the firm’s partners have had contact with prosecutors in the main Justice Department in Washington and FBI agents in Little Rock, Ark. And last week, a federal prosecutor suddenly asked for documents from their private investigation.

    The 48-page submission, dated Aug. 11, 2017, supports its claims with 95 exhibits, including internal legal reviews that the foundation conducted on itself in 2008 and 2011.

    Those reviews flagged serious concerns about legal compliance, improper commingling of personal and charity business and “quid pro quo” promises made to donors while Hillary Clinton was secretary of State.

    The submission also cites an interview its investigators conducted with Andrew Kessel that quotes the foundation’s longtime chief financial officer as saying he was unable to stop former President Clinton from “commingling” personal business and charitable activities inside the foundation and that he “knows where all the bodies are buried.”

    “There is probable cause that the Clinton Foundation has run afoul of IRS rules regarding tax-exempt charitable organizations and has acted inconsistently with its stated purpose,” MDA Analytics alleged in its submission. “The Foundation should be investigated for all of the above-mentioned improprieties. The tax rules, codes, statutes and the rule of law should and must be applied in this case.”

    Fake news, man. Water under the bridge. What difference, at this point, does it makes?

    1. Nephilium

      Besides it was all accidental, and I’m sure some Republican did something that sounds similar at some point, so why bother punishing that nice old family?

    2. Festus

      Oh lord, if something comes of this the Fappening will seem as tame as a pretty girl in a sundress smiling at you. I’ve got in a good store of Jiffy-Pop, just in case.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        I prefer getting bulk bags of popping corn from the Mennonite store in town (mushroom popcorn is awesome), and using this style popper.

        Jiffy Pop will give you cancer.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          But… but… it’s the magic treat! As much fun to make as it is to eat!

          I have never encountered mushroom popcorn before. Is it sprinkled with dried and powdered mushrooms?

          1. ChipsnSalsa

            No, pops up quite large and spherical, not as many nooks and crannies as other types. Can be handled without busting into pieces if your into adding toppings.

            https://goo.gl/images/erjSgB

          2. Old Man With Candy

            OK, I am officially intrigued.

        2. A Leap at the Wheel

          You are right about mushroom popcorn, but when it comes to selecting the style of popper, your opinions are bad and you are bad and you should feel bad. This is a much better popper.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            You are objectively wrong. This is the one SP and I use. It is life-changing.

          2. A Leap at the Wheel

            I have one of those, but I find that my are has enough muscle memory to just grab the handle of the pot and shake it back and forth until the fun starts.

          3. A Leap at the Wheel

            *arms have, not are has…

          4. Old Man With Candy

            Starting that Pearl Harbor Day celebration a bit early, are we?

          5. A Leap at the Wheel

            No. Pulled an all nighter last night. So this is still technically Thursday for me.

          6. Evan from Evansville

            To the best of my knowledge, I have never had an anchovy in my life.

            Nor a plum. And many, many other things.

            For a very adventurous eater who acknowledges that I don’t like a lot of things, but I will try them, there are a lot of things I haven’t tried due to lack of availability or some weird childhood aversion.

            I’ve eaten fugu and live octopus, FFS. I have NO idea what a plum tastes like. And yet, I say Fuck Them.

            I have discovered that I am a virulent vegetablist. Meh.

          7. Not Adahn

            Bah, those are all batch-process poppers.

            A hot air popper allows for continuous popping to the limit of your catch vessels

            /really likes popcorn

          8. A Leap at the Wheel

            Air popped popcorn?

            Get thee behind me Satan!

          9. Old Man With Candy

            Mmmm, styrofoam!

          10. Not Adahn

            You need to partially dehydrate the starch so it can absorb the butter.

            If this is your attitude, the mashed potatoes at your houses must be terrible.

          11. Not Adahn

            Come to think of it, a house that uses neither butter nor schmaltz probably has terrible starches anyway.

          12. Jarflax

            Glibs food disputes:

            deep dish
            pineapple pizza
            IPA
            popcorn

            What am I missing?

          13. Old Man With Candy

            I make world-class mashed potatoes. SP craves them. I use excessive amounts of butter, just like I was taught in France.

          14. A Leap at the Wheel

            I use a shit-ton of sour cream, but the real secret is to mash up some anchovies. That’s a no-go for you, but I’m sure you could sub in some vegan mushroom/amino concoction to get the requisite umami bomb.

          15. My wife just replaced the hot air popper she sold when we moved…. It is the best way to pop corn.

          16. but the real secret is to mash up some anchovies

            This is also the real secret to kickass Mac & cheese.

          17. Rasilio

            I use Butter, Sour Cream, and cream Cheese in my Mashed Taters

          18. Old Man With Candy

            Lots of ways to get umami, but my mashed spuds need no more. Butter, cream, Yukon Golds, salt, white pepper. The rest is technique.

        3. STEVE SMITH MUSHROOM POPS OUT ALL THE TIME. BIG HIT AROUND CAMPFIRE.

          1. WTF

            AND BY “HIT” MEAN….

        4. Count Potato

          I just use a 3-qt pot on the stove.

  15. Certified Public Asshat

    SJWs take another scalp.

    So Kevin Hart can pick up a DUI and cheat on his pregnant wife, and still be okay to host the Oscar’s. But his twitter history cannot save him.

    1. straffinrun

      “Comedian Kevin Hart has announced he is stepping down from hosting the 2019 Academy Awards amid criticism over years-old tweets deemed anti-gay.”

      Who’s dick do I need to suck to get on “the deeming” committee?

      1. That joke just precluded it permanently.

        And you’re fired.

        1. straffinrun

          What joke?

          1. Now you’ve lost your house and your family.

      2. WTF

        Who’s dick do I need to suck to get on “the deeming” committee?

        In a better world, that right there would have been Hart’s response.

        1. Festus

          *nods sagely in agreement, sips beer, rolls another cig*

      3. A Leap at the Wheel

        SJW: The Deeming may sound like a bad game, but it still wouldn’t be worse than that stupid Mummy: The Resurrection game.

    2. Drake

      Think they’ll replace Hart with Eddie Murphy?

  16. The Late P Brooks

    “It is hard to overstate the urgency of our situation,” he said. “Even as we witness devastating climate impacts causing havoc across the world, we are still not doing enough, nor moving fast enough, to prevent irreversible and catastrophic climate disruption.”

    tl;dr- THE SKY IS FALLING!!111!

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Well done, Gordilocks. Keep after them.

    1. Gordilocks

      Thanks, I’ll keep y’all posted. I’m going to fashion that letter into a longer submission (possibly a series of articles) here.

  18. Fantastic Friday and the tits are coming in hot n’ heavy.

    http://archive.is/raFxb

    1, 6, 23, 36.

    1. Raphael

      1 and done. I liked 31 but she had a few too many tats for me.

      1. I don’t know about those brows.

    2. Gordilocks

      11, 16, 17 has a wedding band (Lucky guy!)

    3. prolefeed

      13, 39, 6

  19. RE: Fired teacher.

    Sounds like compelled speech at a public institution. IANAL, but I’d say the district better get ready for a STEVE SMITHing in court.

    1. straffinrun

      “The school also held a public hearing on the matter which featured testimony from the school’s principal, Jonathan Hochman, who claimed Vlaming told him that he liked and missed “the female version of the student.”

      We really need a dirty frenchman GIF around here.

        1. straffinrun

          Forgot how much of horn dog that skunk was. Gives new meaning to one in the pink and two in the stink. *Apologizes beforehand.

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      No way. Speech as part of the job by a public employee is not protected. Teacher interaction with students according to the policies of administration is within the four squares of a teacher’s job.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Four square should be four corners. Duh.

        1. Jarflax

          I think it is fourcorner within the four squares of the job.

        2. I just checked in and now I’m the Mayor of Censorship City!

      2. invisible finger

        Telling the truth now illegal.

      3. R C Dean

        Sounds to me like no squares need apply.

  20. Bob Boberson

    Is it just me or did Salon manage to completely utterly miss the point?miss the point

    1. Bob Boberson

      *sighs*…..can’t even blame autocorrect for that

    2. Nephilium

      The AV Club was just as bad, but they did love the socialist box.

      1. Bob Boberson

        I thought the box was a pretty clear analogy that ‘Marxism=self contained bubble incapable of doing anything outside it’s own confines’ and they were mocking both Amazon and the renewed fascination with socialism, but I’m just a dumb yokel who misses the point of stuff….

    3. Evan from Evansville

      What was the episode about? Like, what was the actual point?

      Also, what the fuck is this?

      If the episode has any weakness, it’s that the secondary story is incredibly uninteresting

      I am having problems squaring those clauses in this writer’s mind. A weak B storyline is…uh….the definition of a weakness? How they manage to cognitive dissonant (i am making this a verb) so actively?

      1. Bob Boberson

        How they manage to cognitive dissonant (i am making this a verb) so actively?

        That’s really the crux of the issue isn’t it? It seems that the lefts (and in reality, much of the rights) entire ideology has evolved to rationalize and support cognitive dissonance. The ends are predetermined, they just need to find a way to justify them in their minds.

      2. SugarFree

        If they were smart, they’d have a better job than writing for Salon.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    did Salon manage to completely utterly miss the point?

    That’s pretty much their business model.

  22. Bob Boberson

    This was in my totally not biased Google news feed.

    “Hey guys, the emperors new clothes are even more beautiful than we first thought!”

    1. Democratic Hitler

      “Analysis”

  23. Rufus the Monocled

    I think the commenters on The Hill are one step above DU.

    Lord me….

    1. Gawd yes – awful.

  24. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Fat neckbeard Nazi banned from Patreon:

    https://literaturedevil.com/2018/12/07/patreon-purge-sargon-of-akkad-gets-his-account-banned/

    Actually, I like Sargon even though he’s a middle of the road 90s liberal but the purge continues. The interweb is going to be a sad and sterile place in a few years if this keeps up.

    1. Festus

      Sargon is okay but long-winded to a fault. If he spoke in a less cultured accent he’d be just another schnook with a youtube channel that gets twenty views and then vanishes into the aether.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        An English accent adds gravitas, it is known and yeah, he can rattle on for 20 minutes about something that can be said in two.

    2. Democratic Hitler

      Uh oh, might be time to turn off my patreon contributions.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Not a bad idea if you don’t want them getting your money. They also cut off James Allsup who’s an identitarian (still shouldn’t have been banned though).

    3. Sargon is about as milquetoast as you can get when it comes to criticism of SJWs. They really are intent on silencing any and all dissent.

    4. Count Potato

      Sargon is hardly right-wing. But he got permanently banned from Twitter for merely telling the truth.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Okay. I tried reading that Salon thing. It’s bad enough when people do that deep chinscratch thing with Citizen Kane, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to read a “scholarly analysis” of man’s existential nightmare as embodied in a goddam South Park episode.

    1. Festus

      Salon was not terrible before 2008 and the Great Enlightenment. Open Salon was super interesting and then Obama happened. Slate prior to Trump was my go-to for a number of years but after 2016? Nope.

  26. Rufus the Monocled

    Know what I think about that teacher in Virginia? They did him a favor. At least he won’t be a part of a process that’s fucking the mind’s up of children. What they’re doing to kids with this gender thing is not only not based on science but cruel. How are they any different from Creationists at this point?

    “After thoughtful deliberation, the School Board voted to support the superintendent’s recommendation,” the school’s board wrote in a statement. “The School Board has adopted policies and tonight we upheld these policies.”

    Yeh. I don’t think ‘thought’ had much to do with anything.

    Fools.

  27. SugarFree

    I wonder if Bill is watching this week-long orgy of performative grief for Bush 41 and thinking about his own funeral: Hillary in widow’s black and a little jar of Vick’s to get the tears going. Chelsea’s blank look as she wonders how her mother will try and make every little bit of it about her. Does Bill imagine he will get a funeral train? Lay in state, have his coffin be elaborately flag-draped, be put to rest at his flyblown Presidential Library? Will Monica and Paula and all the other girls he chased, molested, came on, raped or just fucked with a cigar be there, a wailing chorus of what was? Or does he worrying his dissolute corpse will be treated with just as much dignity as he deserves: rolled out of the back of a pick-up truck into a ditch outside an Arkansas whorehouse…

    1. Bob Boberson

      Irrelevant. Hillary will feed on him until there is nothing left of him other than some bone fragments and hair.

    2. Raphael

      Being dumped right outside of the whorehouse would be the perfect end for his funeral.

    3. Festus

      Hillary doesn’t have the wherewithall to think of Vick’s. She’ll just stuff a raw,skinned onion up her dried up old snatch for the same effect.

      1. Festus

        Check that. When Hillary finally gets her crown and Bill kaffs she’ll just have him un-personed, Soviet style.

    4. straffinrun

      You’re an asshole. As if this doesn’t deserve it’s own post. I’m reading about cybersecurity and you got this ready?

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      Chelsea is gonna snap during Hillary’s eulogy that will somehow be spun about her.

      She’ll run up to the casket, tears streaming down her clown face as make-up runs screaming grabbing the American flag sobbing, ‘You never cared. NEVER. Even when he was raping all those women! You don’t care about nobody. NOBODY. Surely not me? You still call me ‘You!’ You’re such a bitch. A BITCH! Oh Daddy! Why did you leave me with this harpie!? WHY?! You’re out of order! Out of your mind! This whole Church is out of order! You lost the election because people hate you! I HATE YOU!

      The Gregorian Chants of Oos and aws flutter across the serene Church now filled with angst.

      And some laughter.

      1. Festus

        *stunned silence followed by standing ovation*

      2. commodious spittoon

        And Hillary sneers and slurs, “You know he’s not your dad, you stupid urchin.”

        1. Is this a lead-in to a crossover episode of Hillary the soul leach and Subaru horror theater?

          I could see this ending with Hillary absorbing Chelsea’s life essence and running for president as Chelsea. I could also see it ending with Chelsea and Hillary picking through the remains of a Jonestown-like massacre, looking for gonads to feast on.

          1. Sean

            I could also see it ending with Chelsea and Hillary picking through the remains of a Jonestown-like massacre, looking for gonads to feast on.

            You just had to go and ruin it, didn’t ya?

        2. Festus

          Oh indeed, that’s a *slow clap*

      3. Surely I can’t be the only one who laughs during the funeral scene at the end of the Lana Turner “Imitation of Life”.

    6. invisible finger

      He more likely to be thinking of Hilary’s funeral.

      1. SugarFree

        Well, that’s more of an everyday sort of thought…

        I believe that polls have shown that the average American fantasizes about a horrible way for Hillary Clinton to die at least twice a day.

        1. Festus

          The ACME anvil or the 16-ton Monty? You decide.

          1. SugarFree

            My favorite is where her entire body is covered in skin tags that eventually grow together, trapping her like a cancerous testicle in a sightless, soundless, hairless 250-pound scrotum that is then buried in her home state of IlliNewyorkansas.

          2. Chipwooder

            You ain’t right, boy

          3. Tres Cool

            I’m picturing a sentient sheet of skin, like Cassandra .

          4. Not Adahn

            If you enjoy dropping anvils, may I recommend https://www.youtube.com/user/whoisjimmy ?

    7. JW

      You know that he’s going to insist that the embalmer give him a full chub, and don’t be shy with the extra socks.

      1. R C Dean

        “I’ll give ’em a viewing they won’t forget!”

    8. The Last American Hero

      If anybody is going to get the hot chick in the red dress to saunter in an put a single rose on the casket, it’s Bill.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Penguin, I left a Repo Man reference in yesterday’s AM Lynx, and you never showed up to get it.

    *sniffles morosely*

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Let’s go do some crimes.

    2. Timeloose

      Lets get Sushi and not pay.

    3. Old Man With Candy

      When I started my current job, I had to go visit our factory in Iowa. Right across the street is the company that makes the car deodorant trees, and they have a giant one as a display out front. I texted a photo of that to Spudalicious, who immediately responded, “Find one in every car. You’ll see.”

      Some people get it.

      1. Festus

        I heart that movie and have an enduring lust for the whiny girl that will run to fat later in life.

        1. R C Dean

          I do, too. Been too long since I watched it. Its up there with The Outlaw Josey Wales for quotable lines.

      2. Bud: Credit is a sacred trust, it’s what our free society is founded on. Do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia? I said, do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia?

        Otto: They don’t pay bills in Russia, it’s all free.

        Bud: All free? Free my ass. What are you, a fuckin’ commie? Huh?

        Otto: No, I ain’t no commie.

        Bud: Well, you better not be. I don’t want no commies in my car. No Christians either.

        1. another from this wonderful movie:

          Duke: The lights are growing dim Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.

          Otto: That’s bullshit. You’re a white suburban punk just like me.

          Duke: Yeah, but it still hurts.

          1. Chipwooder

            Miller: John Wayne was a fag.

            Pletchner: Wha? What did you say?

            Miller: I said John Wayne was a fag.

            ALL: THE HELL HE WAS!!!

            Miller: He was too, you boys. I installed two way mirrors once at his pad in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress.

            Oly: That don’t mean he was a homo, Miller! A lot of straight guys like to watch their buddies fuck!…..uh, don’t you?

            Pletchner: Hell yeah I do!

            Lite: Man, fuck a John Wayne – give us his name, you little pussy!

        2. BakedPenguin

          What about your old lady?

          Oh…shit… forgot all about her. But she’ll take the bus – she’s a rock.

          1. Chipwooder

            Son, this is Mr. Otto, from the finance company. He says he won’t take the car this time…..even though he could

        3. Scruffy Nerfherder

          +1 Chevy Malibu trunk

      3. Chipwooder

        You do a lot of acid, Miller, back in the hippie days?

    4. BakedPenguin

      That’s because you’re a commie.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Crap. The Ayatollah of Rock-n-Rollah beat me to it.

        1. straffinrun

          Was it you that was worried they may have offended me? I don’t think that is possible.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    “The School Board has adopted policies and tonight we upheld these policies.”

    “There’s a lot of heads in this basket. Better get a bigger one, next time.”

  30. Atanarjuat

    Did y’all see that the Trump administration is going to cut aid to Pakistan and return the money to taxpayers?

    ***if the cuts are approved by Congress, the Pentagon aimed to spend the money on “other urgent priorities.”***

    Just kidding, the military industrial complex gets to keep it. But still, fuck Pakistan.

    https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/trump-admin-cancels-300m-aid-pakistan-over-terror-record-n905786

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Maybe we can use the savings to buy more KC-135s to refuel Saudi aircraft enroute to bombing Yemen.

  31. Old Man With Candy

    It’s Pearl Harbor Day. Let’s all celebrate appropriately and get bombed.

    1. straffinrun

      This is one day of the year where I walk around town give out wet willies. “You like that? Do ya?”

    2. Bob Boberson

      Is the official drink of Pearl Harbor day a Kamakazi?

      1. AlmightyJB

        I’m not really a shot person but I like kamakazi’s. Not too harsh. Not too sweet.

        1. Bob Boberson

          When I’m trying to be less fat I drink a lot of vodka and lime seltzer water instead of beer. It’s close to a Kamakazi. The only problem being it’s too easy to end up drinking 5 of them on a Tuesday.

          1. R C Dean

            Problem?

    3. Gordilocks

      *OMWC looks out the living room window longingly at the children throwing bottles of Asahi and sake at his house.*

    4. kinnath

      It’s the annual joke from Dad:

      How about the guy who was half Japanese and half Jewish:

      So, every December 7th he attacked Pearl Schwartz.

  32. Today is going to be one of those days – the dreaded company Christmas Party, where HR comes up with silly games (like the employees are in 6th grade) that everyone hates. And the thank yous from the VP and the little shitty presents. At least we can drink when we are there; plus I’ll be leaving to go home as soon as I can.

    1. Bob Boberson

      Office Christmas Parties are for two thing; 1) getting drunk and finally having that ill-advised tryst with the woman you’ve flirted with at the copy machine for the last year in the janitors closet. 2) Getting way too drunk and telling your boss he’s an asshole.

      Tell HR to dispense with the games and stupid gifts.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        and re #1 – if she’s not into it, you can always just beat your paper jalapeno until the milk duds and cow tails explode all over the place.

        1. Bob Boberson

          That’s a hell of a euphemism….I’m not sure if I want to know what it’s for

          1. Not Adahn

            …I’m going to go with a pinata reference.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        My first industrial job after my post-doc was with a scientific instrument company in Wisconsin. The Christmas party was held, coincidentally, on December 7. Peppermint schnapps and Tom & Jerrys seemed to be the drinks of choice, but I had never experienced Wisconsin Drunk before. It was profound. The VP of R&D got up on a table and dropped his pants. The head of QC took a swing at the company president, missed, and spun around to fall on his ass, then pass out. The sales manager puked on our table.

        Man, I miss that job.

      3. The Last American Hero

        Why is the copy machine in the janitor’s closet? That’s just begging for trouble.

    2. SugarFree

      We have a potluck taco bar, no gifts, no games. It’s pretty fun.

      We don’t get to have a pinata any longer, though. Something about a bunch of white people beating a paper jalapeno with a broom handle made someone uncomfortable, I guess.

    3. Not Adahn

      They did a Taiwanese-style Christmas party one year when my group reported through that branch of the company.

      Lots of drawings for prizes, but when you won, you were supposed to show gratitude by entertaining the group. It was awful. Fortunately our org chart shifted to reporting through US managers soon after that, or there was going to be a guailo rebellion.

      1. >>to show gratitude by entertaining the group.

        So lap dances?

        1. Not Adahn

          …that actually was an option.

    4. Chipwooder

      People actually still have office parties where they can drink? I’m so envious.

      We just have a catered lunch paid for by the big boss. He’s a very fancy sort, so the food is usually excellent.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Let’s all celebrate appropriately and get bombed.

    On German beer.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Kirin and Sapporo, asshole.

    2. Tejicano

      bier…

  34. The Late P Brooks

    From Bob Boberson’s CNN link:

    Another way to judge an election is by how many votes each side wins. Democrats’ position in the national House popular vote is now reaching historical proportions.

    They are totally obsessed with this.

    Again I ask- how long until the “progressives” are actively inciting their True Believers to cast absentee votes in states the do not live in, like Wyoming, to save democracy from the hicks in flyover country?

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I wonder how that popular vote thing would actually work out for them. I’m certain there are a hell of a lot of right wingers in Cali and other leftie strongholds that would vote that don’t even bother now.

    2. leon

      It makes them sound incredibly uneducated. Everyone knows that you don’t give a rats ass about any national popular vote.

      1. In a nation without states you would …

    3. R C Dean

      The Dems are too stupid to realize that their dream of having everything done on a national popular vote is probably the one thing most likely to lead to secession and civil war. The Founders set up the protections for small states and rural areas for a reason. Even at the start of the republic, it was perfectly apparent that a pure popular vote would mean a handful of states and cities controlled the national government. The Revolutionary War was fought precisely because Americans did not want to be ruled from a distant capitol over which they had no meaningful say. Replicating that would have (and still could) lead to the effectively disenfranchised areas trying to split off.

      And the Dems are actually so stupid that they are setting the precedent for dissident areas to ignore the authority of the federal government they want to control, mainly with their sanctuary cities nonsense.

      If you had a long-term plan to shatter the US into hostile warring factions, it would probably a lot like this.

      1. Democratic Hitler

        Cogent commentary as usual RC, except I question the assumption that democrats are all that averse to secession and civil war. I’m not sure they particularly want a shooting match (outside a retarded fringe), but are they any less eager to just chuck it and go their separate ways than their conservative/republican counterparts?

        I don’t think I’ve seen any actual polling on the subject, but my pulled-out-of-thin-air sense of the matter is that 20+ years of ever-increasing political polarization across the country has resulted in a very large chunk of the population who would willingly call it quits on the union given a practical way to do so.

        1. R C Dean

          I question the assumption that democrats are all that averse to secession and civil war

          I do too. Regardless of whether they are averse to it, they are stupid to court it.

          1. Mojeaux

            Not averse to it, stupid to court it, totally unprepared for if it happens.

        2. invisible finger

          The US left would never allow a peaceful break. For starters, California’s water would be shut off.

          1. R C Dean

            One big problem for the US if the proggy states decide to leave is that the US might lose all of its Pacific ports.

          2. A Leap at the Wheel

            Wouldn’t be a problem if Supermand didn’t stop Lex Luthor from dumping NJ and CA into the ocean.

          3. Rasilio

            Anchorage would still be there. Only problem is there would not be a land connection to North Dakota

          4. kinnath

            We just need to annex British Columbia.

          5. Naw, reconquer the separatist blues and don’t give them back voting rights until several generations of prog-free schooling have passed.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Kirin and Sapporo, asshole.

    Swing… and a miss.

  36. A Leap at the Wheel

    Heavy. Metal. Music. When I pull an all nighter, I get loaded up on Diet Dr Pepper and put on song on continuous loop. I listened to this song for something like eight and a half hours straight last night.

    I expect today to be very weird.

    1. That’s a pretty cool video.

      1. BakedPenguin

        I like metal, but I don’t really get the extreme shit. I much prefer this.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Its like any other abrasive but comlex input. You start out drinking makers with soda, and a few years later you find yourself walking around the greenhouse asking if they have peat moss you can lick.

          I started out on Metallica, Black Sabbath, BoC and Blue Cheer, and over 25 years have moved further into the extreme end.

        2. Chipwooder

          Motorhead, Sabbath, Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax. That’s all I need.

          1. Count Potato

            This guy gets it.

          2. MikeS

            No Misfits?

          3. R C Dean

            *looks around*

            I’d say there’s plenty of misfits.

          4. Mojeaux

            *hums* “We’re on the Island of Misfit Toys”

          5. Chipwooder

            Of course Misfits, but I was just listing the metal bands I listen to.

          6. MikeS

            I’ve been meaning to ask you; I don’t believe I’ve ever listened to a single Misfits song and I’d like to correct that. Give me 3 that will make me a fan.

          7. Chipwooder

            Hmmmmm…..well, I wouldn’t say these are my three favorites necessarily, but trying to hit some different sounds from them, I’d say:

            -Last Caress, the archetypal Misfits song
            -Death Comes Ripping, the best of their more hardcore Earth A.D. songs
            -American Nightmare, their bluesy “twisted Elvis” song

          8. MikeS

            Thanks! I’ll give them a listen.

    2. Count Potato

      I don’t like this new metal with strings and keyboards.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Keyboards have always been a part of metal. Deep Purple had a Hammond organ, Hawkwind had two synths, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath had both strings and keyboards. Lots of early seminal albums did like Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, Abigail, etc.

        1. Count Potato

          I wouldn’t call Deep Purple metal, but John Lord playing through stacks of distorting amplifiers is way more aggressive than wooshy pads.

          Black Sabbath did occasionally add other instruments, but they didn’t rely on them.

    3. Raston Bot

      kinda funny there’s three dudes with long flowing locks/dreds and then one bald guy.

    4. I liked the music, but the vocals seem like a parody of that type of vocals, know what I mean?

  37. prolefeed

    Selfie Friday:

    https://thesexier.com/selfie-addicts-pics/

    In a rare (for me) all blond trifecta, I gotta go with 11, 5, and 16

    1. Evan from Evansville

      NSFW

      Wait. Not even selfie’s. People taking pictures of people taking selfies.

      Meta. Titties within titties.

      1. prolefeed

        For future reference, what’s a reasonable guideline for a NSFW warning? In retrospect, 5 is NSFW despite having some material sort of covering stuff, but how about, 6 and 16, both nude but with camera angles blocking views of off limit body parts.

        1. My rule is areola = NSFW (obviously any beaver too). Butt cracks and nude girls with the good stuff occluded are usually ok.

          I’ve never gotten any complaints and/or cattbutts.

          But perhaps the overlords should provide guidelines?

          1. Butt cracks are like PG13 – at least out there in Television Land. Of course I don’t want to be caught at work looking at this stuff so I opt out when I’m in the office.

          2. prolefeed

            How about something like 10, where it’s possible some areola is showing, but it’s a complicated enough bra that you can’t be sure?

            Or body paint, where you can make out the shape of the areola, but technically no skin is exposed?

            I guessing in the absence of guidance, better to err on the side of labeling it NSFW.

        2. A Leap at the Wheel

          The front page already has it.

          Please: no NSFW images or gifs.

          1. SugarFree

            Only inline stuff. Links are fine, we just want the site itself to be readable at work.

          2. When I get drunk and start posting nekkid ladies I always put a “NSFW” warning. Hopefully that’s ok. Otherwise, you can exile me.

          3. Festus

            COMMENThttps://glibertarians.com/2018/12/friday-morning-links-68/?replytocom=816655#respond

          4. Festus

            Apologies for whatever the fuck below is but in regard to your statement – FREEDOM!

        3. MikeS

          My 2 cents: if you have any doubt at all, label it NSFW and let the viewer decide if you were correct or not.

    2. Raphael

      5,7,8,10,14 and 15. I may not survive them all, but damn it I’ll try.

    3. Very nice.

      I’ll go with 5 cause see-thru shirts are da bomb.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    I wonder how that popular vote thing would actually work out for them. I’m certain there are a hell of a lot of right wingers in Cali and other leftie strongholds that would vote that don’t even bother now.

    Yes, exactly. A lot of Republican/conservative voters might come out of the woodwork in an election not featuring two commies.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    I had never experienced Wisconsin Drunk before. It was profound. The VP of R&D got up on a table and dropped his pants. The head of QC took a swing at the company president, missed, and spun around to fall on his ass, then pass out. The sales manager puked on our table.

    Sounds like any random Tuesday night in Butte.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      No shit. There was a bar across the street from my office where you could count on at least one major fistfight per hour.

      St. Patrick’s Day in Butte is like Mardis Gras, but without the same sense of quiet dignity.

  40. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. What a sad, sad day.

    The worst obit I have read all year.

    When “Walleye” Wayne Knutson died last spring, the dinner lost one of its biggest fans. “Walleye” would buy all the leftover lutefisk. Knutson’s daughter, Sandy Zarembinski, was one of the key leaders in hosting the meal and preparing the food.

    1. Tundra

      Lutefisk is the devil, but that’s still sad.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I don’t want to live in a world where people can’t get lye cured whitefish and smother it in butter.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Gobs of butter and lots of salt. The only way to eat lutefisk.

        A friend of mine had a great grandma who would make lutefisk every year and if you stopped by, she’d insist on you having a plate. He would never warn you, just invite you over and laugh as you choked down your lutefisk.

        The second he opened the door and you smelled that smell you knew you were screwed. His great grandma was convinced we all loved it because we always stopped every year just to get a plate.

      2. BakedPenguin

        “lye cured whitefish and smother it in butter.”

        gag reflex activates, runs to bathroom

    3. I’ve never had lutefisk, but I’d be hard pressed to say it’s worse than gefiltefish.

      My grandmother used to force me to have it at Pesach *shudder*.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      May I also say that if life was fair, we’d all be talking about Walleye’s life and funeral and not about that fuckhead Bush’s funeral.

    5. straffinrun

      One of my friends in high school had the same name as that author. Jon Klawiter. I used to call him Klawiterus. That would be quite the Kawinkidink if that’s him.

  41. Pope Jimbo

    Remember that tent city in Minneapolis? The one that city leaders promised to clean out by the end of September? Well, it is still there and things aren’t going too well.

    The new big plan is to move them from their homeless tents into two big city owned tents. Unfortunately efforts to do that are being hindered by the fact that the “support group” Natives Against Heroin is threatening everybody and EMT’s and other social workers are scared to go into the camp.

    James Cross, founder of NAH, defended the actions of his volunteers, saying they have to respond forcefully to negative comments about his group on Facebook and to outsiders stealing from donations at the camp. He said his group is committed to helping people find shelter, and will work with those who “come over in peace and respect.”

    “We all have the same goal. We all want to get these relatives to somewhere safe,” Cross said. “But people have to understand that we’re not going to back down. We have to strike back if someone says something negative.”

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      We have to strike back if someone says something negative.

      TLDR – This person is a violent maniac.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Same thing happening with a homeless camp in downtown Fort Lauderdale. They’ve taken it out twice and it hasn’t done anything. They supposedly did it a third time a week ago but driving past it the other day didn’t seem anything had changed.

      1. leon

        Weird. If I were homeless, I’d pick somewhere like Florida or Hawaii/ Marie Antoinette

    3. Tundra

      In the past week, nonprofit outreach workers have complained of being harassed and forced from the camp by volunteers associated with Natives Against Heroin (NAH), a street outreach group that has been providing security and donations for people there.

      “There will be a confrontation. I can’t see how there won’t be,” warned Michael Goze, chief executive with the nonprofit American Indian Community Development Corp., which has helped people at the camp find housing and other services.

      “We can’t do our work if people are harassing us,” said Patina Park, executive director of the center and chair of Metropolitan Urban Indian Directors (MUID).

      Stephanie Stuart, outreach navigator for the Indian Women’s Resource Center, said she has been chased off the site three times in the past few weeks.

      You can’t make it up. When I was a younger yeti and working on the rez, I couldn’t understand why, with so many people ‘helping’, the Indians were so thoroughly fucked up.

      Said it before and I’ll say it agin: reservations and handouts are among the most immoral things the fedgov has ever concocted.

      1. Rhywun

        Good lord, there are four alphabet agencies mentioned just in that short quote – and they’re fighting a turf battle. What a shitshow.

      2. Count Potato

        The reservations should be turned into private land.

    4. Homeless folks get mighty scarce in Michigan once the snow starts falling. I’m sure they’re hiding out somewhere though.

      ::Looks under the rug::

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Normally there are no homeless out on the street by November or so. My understanding is that most of them take the trains west and south, but that could be wrong. There are shelters you can call if someone is out on the street in cold weather, and their response time is faster than the police coming to aid a soccer mom in a good neighborhood.

        But like every bad idea, people gotta try this every once in a while it seems.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          When I used to work in the North Loop area (before it got gentrified) the homeless were thick under the freeway bridges that go into downtown. They could go to the Salvation Army shelter next door, but they won’t let you in if you are high/drunk and will toss you in a second if they think you are using inside.

          But you’d be amazed at how many winter here.

    5. Gordilocks

      Homeless encampments are best self-cleansed through fire.

      1. ZARDOZ smiles.

      2. Rhywun

        Ithaca must be so proud to have its own homeless camps.

    6. blackjack

      Bullshit Minneapolis is nowhere near downtown l.a.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    The new big plan is to move them from their homeless tents into two big city owned tents.

    That’ll fix it.

    1. Jarflax

      Wait does this mean the Democrats are going back to the big tent party concept?

      1. The big tent is racist. And sexist. And homophobic.

        Just like you.

        1. leon

          The no whites big tent

    2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      It’s like they are building a camp where they can concentrate them all.

  43. prolefeed

    For once, TOS has a decent article, about whether individuals have the right to self-defense against government agents:

    https://reason.com/archives/2018/12/07/when-nonviolence-isnt-enough

    1. Jason Brennan… is he new?

      1. prolefeed

        From the bio link, he doesn’t appear to be staff, but he’s had two other articles published there despite not rising to the usual level of statism lite TOS seems to prefer:

        Introduction to the symposium on the “Routledge Handbook of Libertarianism”
        September 18, 2017

        Why Democracy Is Not Sacred
        November 8, 2016

        Like Tucille, not statist enough to be on staff, but they occasionally let someone who is actually full-on libertarian guest contribute.

    2. Bob Boberson

      That’s a good article. If only I could get some of the people in my life on board. My whole family skews Right so they are fine with the concept of self-defense against agents of the government when its a three letter agency and a D is in the White House, but quick to say “HE SHOULDN”T HAVE RESISTED” if the agent is State police on down. Its a glaring inconsistency that they refuse to acknowledge.

      1. Democratic Hitler

        Christmas Eve SWAT calls.

  44. So I guess our benevolent prog betters have decided that holding “POCs” to any standards of behavior at all is racist.

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/39107/its-now-racist-ask-students-be-respectful-class-ashe-schow

    1. AlmightyJB

      Sounds like it wasn’t even the student making the charge.

      1. Kids get trained to be good little Stasi starting in kindergarten.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s been the case in the inner cities for a while.

    3. “She said Moss apologized to her “for her classroom reaction.” Burgess, in turn, “apologized to her if my behavior appeared to be disruptive, unprofessional, or uncivil as a student.”

      You know, the way we used to handle shit like this. Look at how easy that was. It took 2 people. Not 4 agencies, not a commission nor a legislative body.

      1. Rhywun

        Oh no, it doesn’t end until at least one life is ruined. C’mon, people, make it happen.

        1. So what you’re sying is – shutter a half dozen agencies and lay off their employees?

  45. So today is my last day of work and, later on, the Christmas party for my new job (which I technically don’t start until Monday). Is it too early to get hammered and make complete ass out of myself at the party?

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Drink too much and let the new boss have it. Trust me, they act like they hate but secretly they love it.

    2. Christmas party for your new job where you don’t know anyone yet? Sounds…awkward.

      1. Hence the inevitable drinking too much.

    3. prolefeed

      Never too early to do that, though you might want to be only a partial ass so you can keep the new job. 😉

      1. So I take it no sneaking off to the coat closet with the hot admin?

        1. Not Adahn

          just the opposite — having the admin think well of you will make your life vastly easier.

          So remember to think of baseball.

    4. The Other Kevin

      For your new job, yes. You haven’t yet proven your worth. Next year, on the other hand…

    5. Tundra

      How big is the new company?

      My first job out of college was with a finance company. I was employee number seven. The CEO was only 8 or 9 years older than me and was a blast. Always sprung for limos and taxis and we had an amazing time.

      Man, I miss the early ’90s.

      1. ~60 people in this office. I have only met the guy who interviewed me. It’s going to be… interesting.

    6. straffinrun

      Karaoke. Especially if you’re tone deaf.

      1. “Cally on ah waywalt son!…”

  46. creech

    Re the upthread lcomments on what Bill Clinton was thinking at Bush 41 funeral.
    My local rag, in honor of the new “civility” celebrated by the funeral, ran a political cartoon today by someone named Stahler.
    It shows the living presidents with their balloon thoughts about the funeral: Carter= “Humility”; Clinton “Kindness”; Bush 43 “Honor”; Obama “Patriotism”; Trump “My funeral will be grander than this.” Us cynics would have them all (except the son) saying: “When will this shit be over and where are we going for lunch?”

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Disgusting authority worshipping ass kissing toadyism.
      Yuck!

    2. straffinrun

      Do they honestly think they won’t be praising Trump for being better than whoever is the GOP president at the time of his passing? Hell, I bet Trump could die tomorrow and by next week they’ll be comparing him unfavorably to President Pence.

      1. straffinrun

        Grrrr. I having trouble with my negatives tonight.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      If there ever was a company that needed some competition.

  47. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I just received an email from a telecom rep about my expiring service contract. His name is “Africa Guy”.

    I guess it makes as much sense as “Whitey”

  48. The Late P Brooks

    I am TRUMP, destroyer of worlds.

    The Trump administration plans to eliminate an Obama-era requirement that new coal-fired power plants have expensive technology to capture carbon dioxide emissions.

    This latest administration effort to boost fossil fuel industries comes as leaders from nearly 200 countries are meeting in Poland to discuss how to keep greenhouse gasses out of the atmosphere. And amid reports that CO2 emissions are rising again, as well as the administration’s own report that climate change is causing more severe weather more frequently and could eventually hurt the U.S. economy.

    The Environmental Protection Agency proposal would revise its “New Source Performance Standards” for coal power plants, allowing coal-fired generators to emit more CO2 per megawatt-hour of electricity generated. This would ease an Obama-era rule that was a central target in critics’ accusations of a “war on coal.”

    Game over, man. Game over.

    1. >>that climate change is causing more severe weather more frequently and could eventually hurt the U.S. economy.

      but yet, through the magical power of unicorns and rainbows, going green for the majority of our energy won’t have any effect on the economy at all.

      1. WTF

        Oddly enough, we haven’t actually experienced more frequent severe weather than historical norms. In fact, there have been much more severe hurricane seasons in the past than in recent decades.
        Yet they will just make statements that fly in the face of reality.

    2. Related:

      https://townhall.com/columnists/davidharsanyi/2018/12/07/climate-change-alarmism-is-the-worlds-leading-cause-of-hot-gas-n2537102

      Money shot:

      “[You] can go back to 1977, when Barack Obama’s future science “czar,” John Holdren, co-authored a book with Paul R. Ehrlich predicting that global warming could lead to the deaths of 1 billion starving people by 2020. (The authors theorized, “Population-control laws, even including laws requiring compulsory abortion, could be sustained under the existing Constitution.”)”

      Always with the eugenics these progs…

      1. Festus

        Of course the Cleansing never involves themselves or anyone near and dear to them. Merely numbers on a ledger, Comrade, no need to shed any tears for those sorts.

      2. “Apologetics Apologist”

        It’s so weird how the same people who were pimping “peak population” in the 70’s (which led to Western countries funding forced sterilization programs in the third world through the UN) were some of the first to proclaim climate change Armageddon.

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        laws requiring compulsory abortion, could be sustained under the existing Constitution

        We’ll retroactively start with Holdren, his children, and his grandchildren.

        1. WTF

          Hmm, what article of the constitution does he think grants the government such power?
          Other than the invisible FYTW clause, of course.

    3. “Apologetics Apologist”

      https://twitter.com/jeffreyatucker/status/1071042251269308422

      “I’m fascinated by the culture of the climate-change clerisy. The elitism. The Science. The money. The power. The dedicated belief in planning: Credo in Unam Statum.”

      – Jeffrey Tucker

      1. Festus

        So you’re saying that climate change alarmists are just like the Catholic Church? (ducks)

        1. “Apologetics Apologist”

          Actually yes. That’s a good analogy. It is no doubt a messianic faith

        2. BakedPenguin

          I’ll give them this: they don’t rape altar boys as much.

          1. Festus

            Yet. (ducks and dekes)

    4. creech

      One wonders how many “new coal-fired power plants” are actually on the drawing board in the U.S. or will be once this regulation is repealed? I’m guessing the answer is zero.

      1. “Apologetics Apologist”

        True. But, it’s also fair to ponder how many coal plants this rule originally killed. Kind of ruins the whole “the free market killed coal” narrative

  49. The Late P Brooks

    If I were homeless, I’d pick somewhere like Florida or Hawaii/ Marie Antoinette

    Thirty years ago, San Diego was like Bum Mecca. I dread to think what it’s like, now.

    1. Festus

      Oh there will be dreads. Lots and lots of dreads….

      1. So it’s like Asheville… today?

    2. Come and knock on our door
      We’ve been waiting for you
      Where the kisses are hers and hers, and his
      Three’s company, too

  50. Festus

    So yesterday was the anniversary of the Montreal Massacre wherein some fuck-headed incel separated the women from the men at an engineering school and murdered fourteen of them. The only reason that I mention this is that I received a second-hand text about it and was supposed to lower the flag to half mast. Yesterday. Fuck them. If they want want their flags up, down or somewhere in betwixt I’m certainly not driving across the city to do their bidding. Their flag protocol seems to echo whatever the CBC is blathering on about at any given time. Some fossilized politico from Quebec? Half-mast. An entire junior hockey team from deplorable land? Crickets.

    1. “Apologetics Apologist”

      I learned about that massacre a few years ago. Insane story. But, I’m with you on flag protocol. It’s either to just not even hang a flag, because the flag etiquette busy bodies are always blathering on about some arcane rule (sorry I don’t have a light shining on my flag at night, but it’s my damn flag and I do what I want).

    2. straffinrun

      You will do what you’re told, young man.

      1. Festus

        “You can’t tell me what to do!” 15 year-old Festus. Rolls over and farts – 54 year-old Festus.

    3. That massacre predates a lot of the hysteria down here, but it truly was a horrific thing.

      What I really don’t understand is why these incel types don’t just go hire a hooker. It’s almost as if lack of sex isn’t really their problem…

      1. Not Adahn

        Because only losers have to pay for it, duh.

        1. Rasilio

          Because ultimately it is not the lack of sex they have a problem with. Yes they are hyper fixated on the sex but what they really are upset about is their inability to have an actual relationship with a woman.

          If it was truly just about the sex, then yeah they’d all just go hire hookers

      2. WTF

        Because they are afraid of diseases and getting busted by the cops?

        1. I argue it’s still preferable to murder. Or even to bitterly bottom feeding in internet misogyny.

          1. WTF

            Actually, I think Rasilio probably has it right.

    4. Was just at O’Hare Airport yesterday. Their flag budget must be in the seven figures. All at half-mast because of Herbert Walker.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Is it too early to get hammered and make complete ass out of myself at the party?

    “Pssst- wanna see a card trick?”

    1. ElspethFlashman

      It’s called the elephant impersonation . . . turn your pockets inside out, unzip your zipper, and viola!

      1. Not Adahn

        I don’t think I’ve heard the story about how you and LH met before

        1. It involves a slurpee, an ex-girlfriend, a broken knee, a pack of Winston cigarettes, and Yesterdog, a local hotdog only restaurant.

      2. Festus

        Akin to the “Popcorn Surprise” or the “Halloween Candy Bowl”? Don’t be greedy, just take one.

        1. straffinrun

          Someone took notes while watching “Diner”.

          1. Festus

            Oh no, these jokes predate that over-hyped movie.

      3. ^^^She gets it.

      4. commodious spittoon
      5. R C Dean

        I’ve found people are even more impressed if your “trunk” can pick up peanuts.

    2. I bet I can make my penis disappear!

      1. WTF

        *Cues up “Goodbye Horses”. *

  52. “Apologetics Apologist”

    https://twitter.com/uscensusbureau/status/1070716244611936257

    Highest counties by median household income (2013-2017):
    -Loudoun County, Va.
    -Fairfax County, Va.
    -Howard County, Md.
    -Falls Church City, Va.
    -Arlington County, Va.

    It is not enough to want to cut spending. The focus should be on eliminating bureaucrats.

    1. If that’s not a symbol of a decadent and decaying empire I don’t know what is.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        The federal government is one huge massive teat that everybody’s sucking on. Eventually it’s going to go dry.

  53. ElspethFlashman

    OT: so the dog has been coming with me to work fairly often. In fact, this week she spent Tuesday, Wednesday, 1/2 of Thursday, and all of today (so far) with me. It’s been awesome! If there is something bugging me, I leave to take the dog on a walk. . . she helps my mood out immensely. I hope to buy her a little bean bag or easy chair to relax on, and see how she takes to it. She’s also gotten used to the routine of coming here, waits patiently on the elevator, follows me to the copy machine so I won’t be too far away.

    1. Tundra

      Nothing better. Our office often has a dog or two visiting. It’s very calming.

      I’m glad to hear she’s settling in. How’s the training coming along?

    2. Festus

      All decent humans like puppers. I wish I could take mine to work but she’s a secretive shitter and the buildings are very large…

    3. Not Adahn

      Some day I want to be senior enough, or respected enough, or simply powerful enough in the company/industry to implement a pilot program to use dogs to detect rogue emissions in the fab. I honestly do think it can work, since current portable metrology sucks at the (sub)ppb range.

      Plus a dog in a cleanroom suit would just be adorable

    4. Pope Jimbo

      My old mutt was an extremely friendly dog. The only time I ever remember him getting bristly and upset with another dog was when I brought him to work. Every time the elevator opened up on the ground floor my mutt would go berserk and growl at the dog in the lobby. Every time. He never figured out that the lobby had a mirror and it was his own dumb self that he was growling at.

      But yeah, dogs at work are great.

      1. I have a cat who did that for a week or two. We move into a new house with a glass sliding door leading to the back patio. At night, with the lights on, she could see her reflection. The growling and hissing would start. Derp.

        Now she ignores the “new cat” on the back porch.

      2. ElspethFlashman

        Our dog does this with elevator doors – the ones in my building are slightly mirrored. It’s cute.

  54. Tundra

    God is a rapist.

    Minnesota State University, Mankato psychology professor and sex therapist Dr. Eric Sprankle critiqued the story of the Virgin Mary in a tweet Monday, suggesting that the Virgin Mary did not consent to being impregnated by God.

    “The virgin birth story is about an all-knowing, all-powerful deity impregnating a human teen. There is no definition of consent that would include that scenario. Happy Holidays,” Sprankle said.

    Man, I’m bummed the Spawn didn’t choose Minnesota State. The raw intellect here is breathtaking.

    (Actually, I don’t give a fuck but simply imagine if the prof tweeted about all the children defied by Mohammad without consent)

    1. Jarflax

      “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.”

      sounds like consent to me.

      1. Count Potato

        But there definitely was a huge power imbalance, like Bill and Monica.

        1. Jarflax

          Consent is consent. Sorry but this whole power imbalance idea is crap. People have traded sex for favor from the powerful as long as there have been people. It is a perfectly valid choice for them to make and is qualitatively different from powerful people forcing themselves on others and then using their power to avoid consequences.

          Ie. Bill and Monica is fine, and no one’s business but Bill, Monica, and She of the vaginal beak. Bill and Paula is not fine.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      He’s just annoyed that his name is “Sprankle”

    3. straffinrun

      JFC.

      1. Tundra

        *bows respectfully*

      2. *opera applause*

    4. Festus

      “Sprankle” sounds like a term that even OMWC would be loathe to have on his search history.

    5. >> is about an all-knowing, all-powerful deity impregnating a human teen

      STEVE SMITH NOWHERE NEAR BETHLEHEM ON DAY IN QUESTION.

      1. Festus

        AHA! Where were you in March, 1B.C. Nazareth you say?

    6. Chipwooder

      A lot of ‘tards live really kickass lives.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        She’s a pilot now.

    7. “Apologetics Apologist”

      The good professor should consider re-reading the Bible.

    8. commodious spittoon

      She wouldn’t have refused… because of the implication.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Is there any doubt this dude has at least one undergrad in his past he pressured into sex?

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Trying to make up for suppressed guilt? Good call doc.

    9. A Leap at the Wheel

      Meh, this guy has a history of historionics done for the lullz. Everyone was fifteen once and didn’t know the difference between edgy and insightful. Most of us grew out of it. Maybe someday he will too.

    10. invisible finger

      “the Virgin Mary did not consent to being impregnated by God.”

      It was in her social contract.

    1. Chipwooder

      Wow, The Shining is much scarier than I remember!

    2. MikeS

      Awesome.

    3. Festus

      An oldie but a goodie – https://youtu.be/Os6raCCmAFk

  55. Chipwooder

    Chicago seems like such a nice, honest town.

    1. straffinrun

      19 year old against the Cook County State’s attorney and the Illinois Attorney General. Sometimes you hit your self in the balls when punching down that far.

    2. R C Dean

      I wonder if there’s a federal civil rights angle. There’s no way the state or the locals will do anything.

      1. “Apologetics Apologist”

        The kid is lucky. I new a guy who was the campaign manager for a woman who was running against Bernie Stone and was beat-up in his front yard before the day before the election. The attackers said “you’re not going to be canvassing no more”. There’s never any federal intervention and the State ignores the corruption so long as it benefits them.

        1. “Apologetics Apologist”

          *knew

    3. slumbrew

      election attorney Michael Dorf, who is representing Krupa, says this case is a “clown car of felonies.”

      That’s a great quote.

      1. R C Dean

        And unless (a) there is a federal angle and (b) DOJ can be arsed to actually prosecute election crimes, NOTHING ELSE WILL HAPPEN.

        Never forget: Obama was a product of the Daley Machine and the Chicago Way.

        1. Chipwooder

          Gawd, I remember having conversations in the late summer of 2008 that made me want to beat my head against a wall, with people who were fawning over this guy because he “isn’t just a typical politician” and “he’s a reformer who wants to change things”.

          ARE YOU PEOPLE RETARDED? HE’S THE SPAWN OF LITERALLY THE MOST CORRUPT, REPULSIVE POLITICAL MACHINE IN THE COUNTRY!

    4. How is it that people live in such a blatantly corrupt place and then keep voting in favor of corruption? I don’t get it.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    a tweet Monday, suggesting that the Virgin Mary did not consent to being impregnated by God.

    to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before!

    1. Sex with a virgin is seriously overrated.

      1. Not Adahn

        Yeah, but it cures AIDS, so there’s that.

      2. Festus

        That’s what she said!

  57. Raston Bot

    i was interested in that masterclass website after watching a promo for their Texas hold’em series.. but they have Krugman for econ and society so now i’m skeptical about the site.

    1. Raston Bot

      although the chess series is taught by Kasparov, and there’s deadmouse and several others that are badass at their craft.

      anyone here try out the masterclass stuff yet?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        My son is interested in electronic music production so the deadmaus series was interesting to me, but every other word that comes out of his mouth is “fuck”. It kind of detracts from the information.

        1. Psycho Effer

          Someone should take the Krugman class. I will bet your dollars to donuts he’s not as crazy/stupid as his NYT columns are. I think the NYT stuff is just a working shoot for him.

  58. kinnath

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/trump-says-he-has-chosen-william-barr-to-be-next-attorney-general-1544193989

    Trump Taps William Barr to Be Next Attorney General

    Am I supposed to be happy or sad over this?

    1. R C Dean

      Trump Taps William Barr

      Paging SugarFree.

      1. Festus

        “Taps”… yet another word that I won’t look up in the Urban Dictionary.

    2. Tundra

      Mr. Trump said that Mr. Barr is “respected by Republicans, respected by Democrats,” adding that he hoped the nomination process “will go very quickly.”

      Gee, lemme think…

      1. SugarFree

        “HE PUT HIS WEE-WEE IN MUH STINKIE-HOLE!”

        /kid that went to kindergarten with Barr

    3. Zombie William Burroughs would have better.

      “I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.”

      1. Festus

        I read that in the voice of William F. Buckley.

    4. A Leap at the Wheel

      It doesn’t matter. Every AG instantly becomes the most scummy political in the history of forever. Every party, every admin, they are all awful. This guy will be again.

    5. Stinky Wizzleteats

      An ex-Bushie? Trump really is a fucking idiot isn’t he?

      1. R C Dean

        I don’t get this one. IMO, this is no time for Trump to start playing nice and looking for ways to cool down the conflict with the Dem party apparat. He should appoint an AG that is going to go after everyone involved in fucking with the last election. Wrap it in a big “election integrity” plan, and start pushing hard on all the shenanigans.

        Otherwise, he risks the Dems controlling too much of the election machinery and making any opposition purely decorative.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Appointing a middle of the road guy who has loyalties to a powerful family dynasty that hates your guts is just stupid stupid stupid and it will piss off his core supporters. The guy just isn’t that smart I’m afraid.

          1. Festus

            I had a half-chub for Trey Gowdy but then I got better. Say, these sores on my dick are gonna go away and never come back, right? Right?

    6. kinnath

      https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46487122

      Mr Barr has voiced disapproval over some aspects of the inquiry but his views on the investigation’s legitimacy remain unknown.

      He has said that Robert Mueller hired too many prosecutors with Democratic campaign ties for his investigative team – telling the Washington Post he “would have liked to see [Mueller] have more balance”.

      In a 2017 opinion piece for the Post, Mr Barr said Mr Trump had been right to fire FBI director James Comey because he “crossed a line” by announcing the outcome of the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails.

      He has also defended Mr Trump’s desire for a criminal investigation against Hillary Clinton to the New York Times, adding that some of her actions merited an inquiry more than any Trump-Russia collusion.

      The Times has described Mr Barr as a lawyer with a vision for broad presidential powers, but also one who sees the attorney general’s duty as avoiding political considerations.

      68 years old. Perhaps he wants to finish his career with a big bang.

      1. Festus

        *Shakes magic 8-ball*

      2. MikeS

        …Barr added that an investigation into the Uranium One controversy was more important than looking into whether Trump conspired with Russia: “To the extent it is not pursuing these matters, the department is abdicating its responsibility.” Elsewhere, Barr has commented that “I don’t think all this stuff about throwing [Hillary Clinton] in jail or jumping to the conclusion that she should be prosecuted is appropriate. But I do think that there are things that should be investigated that haven’t been investigated.”

        1. R C Dean

          Big talk when he doesn’t have the ability to do anything but talk big.

          I have my doubts that he’s actually going to do dick. Swamp creatures gonna swamp creature.

      3. ChipsnSalsa

        You know who else finished their career with a big bang?

        1. Hama bombmakers?

        2. MikeS

          R. Budd Dwyer?

        3. Annabel Chong?

        4. Rhywun

          Roseanne Barr?

        5. Kaley Cuoco, most likely?

          1. MikeS

            Johnny Galecki, hopefully?

  59. commodious spittoon

    I have no problem believing that white progressives are unrepentent racists, but not for the reasons they believe they are.

    The business of a white person’s explaining the evils of whiteness to other white people might seem strange, but DiAngelo provides a service for which there is plenty of demand. The strain of left-wing politics that purports to have the interests of the marginalized in mind happens to have a lot of white adherents. A nonpartisan group called “More in Common” commissioned a survey of the various political types into which Americans fit, and, by its measure, “progressive activists,” those who believe that American institutions were “established by socially dominant groups such as straight white men, for their own benefit,” are the most racially homogeneous political type in the country. The people who “seek to correct the historic marginalization of groups based on their race, gender, sexuality, wealth, and other forms of privilege” are overwhelmingly white, rich, and well educated.

    1. Democratic Hitler

      He forgot “dumb” and “smug”.

    2. MikeS

      “seek to correct the historic marginalization of groups based on their race, gender, sexuality, wealth, and other forms of privilege”

      And we’ll do this by marginalizing other people according to their race, gender, sexuality, wealth, and other forms of privilege

    3. White guilt is a helluva drug.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It ain’t guilt. It’s bible thumper moral signaling. These assholes are simply jockeying moral positioning among their peers. They don’t give two fucks about minorities, they only care whether they can claim moral superiority in their social cliques.

        1. Chipwooder

          Of course, which is why the kind of rich white leftists who scream constantly about this kind of nonsense are the same people who also would move heaven and earth to keep minority kids out of their school districts.

          1. commodious spittoon

            And bitch endlessly about their precious SALT deduction.

        2. Festus

          Scout badges, all the way down…

    4. ““All correct information that I was ever given was provided by a white person,” said one. “[I had] white friend groups, white peers, white mentors.” “I never had a teacher of a different race.””

      Jesus, what a sheltered existence. Also, clearly never took a math and/or science class in college.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    Sex with a virgin is seriously overrated.

    Old bad joke:

    He: If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time.

    She: If I had known we had more time, I would have taken off my panty hose.

    *I blame society. Society made me what I am.

    1. MikeS

      There’s an old Ole and Lena™ joke similar to that but I can’t remember. Where’s his holiness when I need him?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        I’m right here Mike. But I think that the joke is exactly the same. Only you use the names Ole and Lena.

        1. MikeS

          It was something about he knew he was doing it right because her toes were curling.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            That’s the one.

            “I knowed you liked it, your toes was curling!”

            “I’d liked it better if next time I can take off my panty hose first…”

  61. Enough About Palin

    Hate Crime Hoax: Drake University Student Admits to Sending Racist Notes to Herself, Others

    https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2018/12/06/hate-crime-hoax-drake-university-student-admits-to-sending-racist-notes-to-herself-others/

    1. Democratic Hitler

      I for one am grateful. I think the “hate crime” crowd have so thoroughly discredited themselves that I can’t imagine average people take such reports unskeptically at this point.

      Not sure why this effect hasn’t carried over to the climate lunacy crowd yet – possibly because they’ve been entrenched so much longer.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Have we tracked down the perpetrator of those graffiti swastikas who very thoughtfully avoided marring the portraits hanging right next to them? You know, that white supremacist Nazi who lives on the Upper East Side.

    3. Festus

      ‘Tis a shame that these hoaxes are only covered by the likes of Breitbart. The original story goes viral and the mea culpa gets buried on page 17.

      1. MikeS

        …in a 16 page publication.

        1. Festus

          Indeed.

    4. Count Potato

      What’s the hoax to real ratio at this point? 100:1?

    5. leon

      I’m sure the president said that it sparked a good conversation?

      This is something i’ve been mulling around in my head lately, about the effects and ease that we are able to keep bad information and truly believe it.

  62. Count Potato

    “”So I say, the future is not ‘female’… I am not saying everyone should or will eventually identify as nonbinary. But the future is one where we don’t push a binary norm. The future should be nonbinary. Period.””

    https://twitter.com/PPact/status/1067789383804297219

    “No, the Future Is Not Female. It’s Nonbinary.

    This popular motto is supposed to be a statement about women’s rising power. But this framing feeds into gender binaries that feminists must discard.

    But the statement reinforces some very backward ideologies. With colonization came the enforcement of sex, gender, and sexuality binaries, and fierce attempts to erase cultures (like many in the Americas and Africa) that recognized gender identities and presentations outside of a binary, something that white Europeans couldn’t fathom. Whiteness, binaries, and oppression go together. Black-white, male-female, gay-straight: The list goes on and on.

    But recognizing that human biology doesn’t operate under binaries isn’t just a cultural perspective. It’s backed up by science’s old guard, which tends to ignore evidence that sex and gender have never been either-or propositions.”

    https://rewire.news/article/2018/11/27/future-is-not-female-its-nonbinary/

    There are only two sexes, and human sexual dimorphism is strongly bimodal.

    1. The party of science!

      1. Festus

        PAAAAARRRRRTTTTTTAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That is some seriously stupid, deluded bullshit.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        If you can alter the meanings of words, like they’re managing to do, they’ll be correct.

    3. R C Dean

      But recognizing that human biology doesn’t operate under binaries

      Outside of a handful statistically irrelevant genetic malfunctions, yes, human biology does indeed operate under the male-female binary.

      sex and gender have never been either-or propositions

      Sex (which biological), certainly has (again, setting aside genetic malfunctions which can safely be ignored). Gender, which is psychological/social, certainly can be non-binary, but one has to wonder how well it works to divide gender from its biological foundation. How sexual preference and gender fit/overlap, I really couldn’t say and don’t really care. Do what you want with your naughty bits; just don’t send me the bill.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        If gender is a social construct/choice, then it is ultimately meaningless. Therefore I can safely ignore those people who want to trumpet their gender of choice.

        Sex is biological and therefore, not meaningless.

        1. Count Potato

          “If gender is a social construct/choice, then it is ultimately meaningless.”

          That isn’t true. Many things are social constructs — race, nationality, etc.

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            So are fatherhood, piety, mercy, liberal inquiry and the scientific method. And I’ll give them up when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.

          2. Count Potato

            I’m pretty sure fatherhood isn’t a social construct, not sure about the others.

            Regardless, I wasn’t saying social constructs are bad.

          3. A Leap at the Wheel

            I mean fatherhood as the collection of expectations, responsibilities, and occasional benefits that form a social role. This is distinct from providing a genetic donation to a fertile egg. Lots of men procreate and never act as fathers in the fatherhood role. Adoptive fathers are fathers even if they don’t make the genetic donation.

            And I was agreeing with you and providing more examples.

            No only aren’t social constructs bad, they are human’s (fairly) unique evolutionary adaptation that made us the most successful multicellular organism.

      2. How ’bout we dispense with the entire concept of gender? AFAICT it’s just a meaningless construct designed to obfuscate biological reality. You have a cock n’ balls, you’re a dood. You have a pussy and ovaries, you’re a chick. Dress however you want, call yourself whatever you want, fuck whomever you want, just shut up about it. You leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone.

        And yes, there are a very few people out there with genetic disorders who would probably give their left arm to have been born with normal genitalia.

        1. Scruffy beat me to it and put it more succinctly.

        2. That’s what I say. If you’re a dude who wants to remove your wedding tackle and dress like a lady, go on and get it, son! Do you! Wanna keep the dong but pick up some aftermarket bolt-ons upstairs? Knock yourself out. Are you a woman who enjoys farting in public, crewcuts, and wearing flannel? Grab yourself a tin of dip and do your thing! It’s a great big weird ol’ world and we don’t have a lot of time on it, so I say do what you want as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else. But that last bit also includes not suing people who refer to you as a man because you’re a “woman” with a full beard and balls.

          1. commodious spittoon

            I’m still struggling to understand how gender is a meaningless distinction, a holdover from the unenlightened dark ages of 2012 and before, a construct to keep women barefoot and pregnant and men (corporately, somehow) in unearned positions of power… but if you choose one or the other of these crude social inventions that you weren’t “assigned” at birth, progressive white biddies shed tears for your heroism. What?

          2. commodious spittoon

            I mean, isn’t choosing to be a more or less stereotypical woman merely reinforcing those dreadful gender norms? And why aren’t more women choosing to identify as men, since our lives are so privileged and badass? It’s a meaningless distinction, after all, and merely stating that you identify as a man means you are now a man, so you’d think all of these ambitious young women who are being held back by their gender would transition.

          3. R C Dean

            Biological female who embraces social gender norms for women: Victim of the patriarchy.

            Biological male who embraces social gender norms for women: Brave and heroic.

          4. There’s a conundrum: if you’re a woman but identify as a man, does that make you a privileged shitlord? Wouldn’t you then lose your status within the LGBTQETC community? On the other hand, if it’s all about how you identify and not your chromosomes, why is it less woke or whatever if you’re a man who identifies as a man?

          5. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Acceptance isn’t adequate, you gotta praise it.

          6. Festus

            Praise it? Fuck that! Build altars and temples and somesuch. Man, I’m sorta happy to be getting so old that I don’t give a cat’s fart about any of this except to stand by and watch it all happen. And point. And laugh.

          7. It’s gonna get to the point where if you don’t do it yourself, you’re transphobic. They already kinda took that direction by saying men who don’t wanna fuck transwomen are bigots.

          8. R C Dean

            So if I cut a tranny’s dick off, I’m good?

            Oh, you meant do it to myself. Hard pass.

      3. invisible finger

        How dare you force science on their truth?!

    4. But…if the future can either be binary or nonbinary…wouldn’t that make it binary?

    5. Is there anything–ANYTHING–that isn’t the fault of white Europeans and colonization? Anything at all? It’s amazing the Earth isn’t a smoking cinder.

    6. Mojeaux

      Really, what it comes down to is how one presents oneself. If you present yourself as female, be prepared to be called “ma’am.” If you present yourself as a male, be prepared to be called “sir.”

      Nobody cares enough to ask your preferred pronouns first. Unless you’re a Pat, which only makes you a passive-aggressive douchebag.

      1. Festus

        This is the crux of the issue, as it were. Who is the cunty one in this situation? The belligerent Tranny or the well meaning but ignorant civilian?

    7. Raston Bot

      when i have a question about reproduction, i turn to Planned Parenthood’s twitter feed.

  63. Count Potato

    “The solution is not more Macron or more Salvini, the actually need each other and reinforce each other, the solution can only be a Pan-European awakening across borders and nationalities,which would be able to tackle the deep economic, social and ecological crisis of Europe today”

    https://twitter.com/pamfoundation/status/1070338993282301954

    Pamela Anderson, Foreign Policy Expert

    1. Festus

      Washed up old sex-kitten says what?

      1. commodious spittoon
        1. Tundra

          OMG.

          “Bend over!”

          Dying…

          1. Festus

            “No means yes, yes means anal!”

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Pan-European awakening across borders and nationalities

      Does that include the non-Europeans?

      If so, good luck with that.

    3. …you mean like the EU?

    4. Rhywun

      You know who else wanted a Pan-European awakening?

      1. MikeS

        Gheorghe Zamfir?

        1. commodious spittoon

          I don’t care how big the wig or ruff, Stephen Fry is instantly recognizable.

    5. Stinky Wizzleteats

      She’s buddies with Assange and is one of the few that manages to keep in touch with him. I suspect she’s just repeating something he said to her because she doesn’t exactly strike me as a deep thinker.

      1. Festus

        She’s dumb as dirt but clever in a way. She’ll ride the fence until she finally goes “Full Bardot” and alienates her fans by becoming old and bizarre.

        1. Count Potato

          I don’t think she is dumb as dirt.

          1. Festus

            Correct. As I stated, she’s got some street-smarts. When she ages out she’ll never be the Grand Dame of anything except maybe a second career as a burlesque dancer. Don’t get me wrong, I am completely neutral in regards to Pamela Anderson but she says about fifty stupid things for every one that she gets right. PETA ring any bells?

  64. Yusef drives a Kia

    No Pearl harbor Day? Shame…….
    /get off my grandfather’s lawn

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      *looks at calendar*

      Well, shit… how about that.

      1. Festus

        “America had it coming to them because oil embargoes!” *some 18 year old nit-wit parroting his History Prof*

    2. MikeS

      In 1 hour and 2 minutes

    1. Festus

      The art of persuasion got this feller laid many a time. It works the opposite way, as well.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I have mastered the art of dissuasion.

        1. Festus

          “Oh Baby, it’s warm outside!”

          1. Oh Baby, you’re warm inside.

          2. Festus

            *eeeeewwwww*

          3. commodious spittoon

            And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.

      2. slumbrew

        All the moral scolds of today miss the point of that song – the woman wants to stay every bit as much as the guy, but needs a plausible excuse, to save her from the moral scolds of that time.

        1. commodious spittoon

          It’s not at all surprising that these mouthbreathers find even innocuous expressions of affections confusing and rapey: they’re rarely shown any.

        2. Creosote Achilles

          She also WANTS TO BE PURSUED. And the man is obliging. Which why the feminists of a certain stripe hate the song.

          The types concerned about this song are either gamma males who don’t understand that women like being pursued, or are women so repulsive no men pursue them, and they figure if they aren’t getting what they want, no other woman should either. It’s all jealousy and projecting with these types.

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            There’s also the third type of women who have bought into an arbitrary ideological perspective so deeply they have become unmoored from both the larger society and the biological impulses that make up the human condition.

            Not that they come off looking any better than the other two groups…

  65. MikeS

    Here’s a feelgood story for you. If you can ignore Clara’s annoying mother, it’s a cute story.

    Christmas Cupids: The Clara and Cutler love story

    1. Tundra

      Awesome. Thanks, Mike. That was adorable.

      1. TARDIS

        I have something in my eyes.

    2. OMG…the…preciousness…jaded cynicism fading…fading…

  66. Diane Reynolds

    Hey kids, been a long while for me. I kinda miss all you losers.

    1. TARDIS

      Hi Tulpa!

      Wait, I did that wrong, didn’t I?

      1. Diane Reynolds

        We’re all Tulpa.

    2. R C Dean

      The active post is over there ->

      1. Diane Reynolds

        Howzit, Robert Clayton? LIfe treating you well?