I’m off tomorrow, so I’m mailing it in today. Enjoy everyone.

Trump to Macron — I knew you were a loser when I met your mother wife. Kidding, he actually hit Macron about having to roll back gas taxes.

Not at all sure this alternative theory to Dark Matter/Dark Energy will hold up, but at least they have some falsifiable tests for it, making it a more scientific* theory.  *for those who believe in the Popperist version of science, anyhow.

PETA asks people to stop using ‘anti-animal language’. I hope they don’t expect us to try to eat the whole elephant at once.

This company claims to have the world’s first sex robot for women*, but I’m sure a woman has strapped a vibrator to a cardboard cutout of a movie star before.

 

“Oh God, I wish I was dead so I didn’t have to sit here”

 

Maybe PETA should stop beating that dead horse.