Author’s Note: This is a work of fiction, complete and unabridged. Don’t expect any deep insights, philosophising, or political priciples. It’s here for entertainment. So be entertained.
It is set in the same world as the as yet unpublished “Prince of the North Tower”, but the characters and places that appear here are not mentioned there, beyond being within the “Five Kingdoms”.
Yes, I get the irony of turning in such a run of the mill yarn shortly after opining on the mistakes writers make.
Alvar Lev
Alvar was sore. Every muscle burned. His arms ached from swinging a hammer. His ears rang from the strike of steel on steel. His legs throbbed from working the treadle on the grindstone. His eyes hurt from looking into fires and at minute details. His back complained from the nights spent sleeping on the bare stone of the forge floor. He’d lost track of how long he’d been in the forge. How many meals taken in the back corner. How many restless nights. How many discarded billets and flawed blades. Hinrik Jarn had watched over Alvar’s shoulder and uttered quiet words of advice the whole time. But, the master smith had not touched a single tool. The blade had to be Alvar’s work, and the boy refused to accept anything less than perfect.
A churl’s son undergoing the rite of manhood could make do with anything that would cut or stab, but that would not do for Alvar. He was still annoyed at himself that he’d never managed to draw out the steel to a length suitable for a sword. Settling for a blade three times the length of his hand felt like giving up. But it was straight, and the edges parallel until the point. Half the length was double-edged, but Alvar’s legs had simply not been able to work the treadle on the grindstone any more. So he’d filed saw teeth into the lower half of the back edge. To remind himself which side had the full cutting edge, Alvar had added a D-guard to the grip. The simple piece of brass had been more difficult to work than he’d expected.
Had he simply set out to make anything, the blade would have been something to be proud of. But, all Alvar could see was where he’d fallen short of every goal he’d set. The blade was too short, too narrow, and not fully edged on both sides. The guard was too plain, too unornamented. The grip was nothing but a piece of wood with a leather wrap. The pommel was a simple lug, and he’d bent the tang while peening it. But he was too tired and sore to start over. He could barely rise and carry the blade from the forge to the great hall. Kneeling beside the throne, the youth set the implement atop a wooden pedestal. Alvar’s auburn locks were matted with sweat and streaked with soot. His handsome, boyish features were no better off, as his fatigue showed plainly. The woolen shift he wore would never be white again.
The great hall of Skogahaugr was a long, vaulted chamber in dark granite. Each arch had a false buttress in the form of a wooden post that appeared to prop up a decorative element near the ceiling. These posts were carved with a spiral of runes containing the saga of Alvar’s family. The verses spoke of how his ancestors had wrested the lands of Snaerveldi from the Kings of Neph and withstood the sieges to drive them back. The crown thus won had found its way to Alvar’s brow when he was but six. He prayed nightly to prove worthy of his lineage and knew he could not let himself accept ‘good enough’ from his endeavors.
Though Alvar was King, Olaf ruled. The Regent was a big man, with arms like tree trunks, and a chest like a bear’s. His beard had been black when Alvar was crowned, but was now streaked with gray. It was starting to resemble the wolf’s pelt that lined Olaf’s cloak. By custom, a man of Snaerveldi could not wear the fur of a beast he had not slain himself. The shortage of fur in Olaf’s attire merely reminded Alvar of how little time his step-father spent in the woods. The rite of manhood was no place for women or children, so Alvar’s mother and half-siblings were nowhere near the hall. Even so, the sheer number of men who hung around the court seeking the favor of Olaf Gull meant the room was far from empty. Each one of them in turn would inspect the blade and opine on its fitness. All the while, Alvar was expected to kneel in silence upon the stone, aching from the ordeal of its forging.
By virtue of his position, Olaf was first. Alvar had the urge to snatch the blade off the pedestal. before his step-father could pick it up. But, decorum and tradition stayed his hand. He merely clenched his jaw and gripped his knees to avoid improper acts or outbursts. Olaf gently lifted the implement from its perch and ran his gray eyes over the steel. Alvar knew the older man saw every flaw and blemish in the blade. However much the youth despised Olaf, he knew the regent was no fool. The former merchant had adroitly insinuated himself into the role of ruler so smoothly, little fuss had been raised. His silvered tongue had wooed the court and the widowed queen to the point that only Alvar protested the wedding. The king had been but a child, and the protests were ignored.
“Fine work, my son,” Olaf said.
Alvar rankled at every word. It wasn’t fine work, it was merely ‘good enough.’ And he was very much not Olaf’s son. The sycophantic murmurs of the men at court were easier to bear. The blade would serve its purpose in the latter half of the rite, so they took the opportunity to attempt to ingratiate themselves with their king. Alvar didn’t want flattery, he wanted honesty. However acerbic Henrik Jarn had been with his words, he’d been fair in his critiques. These hangers-on didn’t even point out the obviously bent pommel. The young king was grateful when the presentation of the blade was done, and he could finally rest in a real bed.
* * *
The wind blowing through the forest brought fresh flurries of snow falling from the laden boughs. Often Alvar would spot what he took for a track only to discover it was merely the mark of a clump off the branches above. So he pulled his cloak tighter about his shivering frame and kept going. The snow swallowed sound, meaning all that reached Alvar’s ears was the susurration of the breeze and the subtle creak of three limbs. Dark enough to look stark black against the snow, the trunks surrounded the youth, cutting short vision in every direction. There was plenty of space to move between them, and the snow was not deep. Alvar’s boots only sank to the ankles with each step. A trail appeared before him, but it was only that of a hare.
For a churl, a hare was a fine catch, but if Alvar wanted to wrest his throne from Olaf’s clutches, he could not have a churlish omen. So he ignored the hare’s tracks. Puffing out mist, he continued on. Where his muscles had been sore from exertion, now they were all but numb. The first pangs of hunger twinged his gut. Alvar refused to let that distract him. The whole rite was supposed to be a test of cunning, endurance and determination. To hunt down and slay a beast of the forest with just your wits and a blade you forged yourself tested a great many qualities of a man. The type of beast taken was seen as a portent of the type of man you would be. So Alvar stepped over the fox tracks and kept going. Foxes were cunning, but duplicitous. That would not do. It was perfectly acceptable to craft additional implements once you were in the woods, like snares or spears, but Alvar was uncertain what he might need.
Movement in the corner of his eye caught Alvar’s attention. He froze and looked. It was only a horse and rider. Olaf and several of his picked men were pacing him to ensure he didn’t cheat. Alvar found the implication galling. It was unthinkable to not do this the proper way. Another part of him wondered if the riders were scaring off the beasts. He scowled and motioned for the rider he saw to back away. The rider did not, but did sit still while Alvar gained a lead again. Grumbling and shivering, the youth nearly walked past the hoofprint. It was cloven, and it was big. The size of his palm, more or less. From the spacing relative to the other prints, he could immediately rule out swine and bovine. This was a deer, and a big one.
To the men of Snaerveldi, a stag meant wisdom and strength, good qualities for a king. Alvar turned to follow the trail, wondering what he would do if it turned out to be a doe. That could wait until he laid eyes upon the creature. There was no way to tell how old the tracks were with any certainty, but they were still clear. It had been snowing earlier that morning, so it could not have been more than a few hours. How far could a deer walk in a few hours? Pretty far, Alvar realized as he tried to work the chill from his fingers. All he could imagine was finding the beast and being too cold and tired to strike. All the while, Olaf and his flunkies would laugh when the stag turned and gored Alvar with its antlers.
The boy froze.
Accidents were not unknown. With only Olaf and his chosen cadre as witnesses, who’s to say such a mishap would be at the hands of an animal? As a boy, Alvar was no threat to Olaf, indeed, he was the excuse for the older man’s post. Were Alvar to die during his rite of manhood, it would be a very small step for his step-father to take up the crown. The young king glanced suspiciously behind him, but did not see the riders. Regardless of his fears, Alvar still had a beast to take. Resuming the trail, his bright blue eyes flicked from track to woods to where he suspected the riders to be. Nothing. For all the world, it looked as though Alvar were alone with the trees.
The sight of cleared snow heartened the youth. The deer had rooted through the accumulation to the plants underneath. Along the edges were marks that could have only been made by antlers. A smile came to Alvar’s face as he picked up the pace. He blinked against the wind and its frigid fingers scratching at his eyes. All that meant was he was downwind from the stag, and it would not pick up his scent on the approach. In an instant, all thoughts of cold, tiredness, and Olaf left his head. There, laying in a patch of cleared ground, was the stag. Patches of snow still dusted its dark brown coat, insulated from his heat by the dense fur. His antlers bore a myriad of points, and reached out wider than Alvar’s shoulders. Indeed, they were almost wide enough to span between the young man’s elbows with his arms outstretched.
Crouching low and close to a tree, Alvar contemplated his approach. At the moment he had every advantage. The stag was upwind, at rest, and facing the other way. But, they were wary creatures, and the slightest stray noise would send him bounding off into the woods. Moving as silently as his numbed limbs could muster, Alvar stepped around his tree and advanced to the next one. Keeping his eye on the stag, his heart nearly froze when the wind stopped. The stag hadn’t noticed him, as the wind had simply died down rather than reversing. As Alvar contemplated starting forward again, he heard the breathing. It was a low, raspy growl practically over his right shoulder. At first, he thought one of the riders must have approached too close. As he turned, the young king realized the sound was nothing like a horse.
A white blur leapt on Alvar in an angry snarl. The boy barely had time to interpose his arm between his throat and its teeth before being knocked from his feet. A massive feline with snow-white fur and a shaggy mane bowled him to the ground. As they hit, Alvar’s blade sank to the hilt in the lion’s torso. Claws raked at him as it tried to rip his arm off. Fear lanced through him as he expected his elbow to give way any second. Turning his face away from the enraged muzzle, Alvar twisted his blade in the wound. A torrent of hot blood poured over his hand as the cat’s clawing became spasmodic and flailing. His head reeled from a solid swat to the side of his face. Shoving the dying predator off himself, the youth tried to gain his feet. Falling to his knees, blood dripped from his blade and body.
Forcing himself to his feet, Alvar snarled at the empty patch of ground where the stag had reposed just moments before. He kicked the dead lion out of frustration. Staggering forward, dripping and reeking of blood, the king made to follow the deer. He spat out a mouthful of red and blinked blood from his left eye as he appraised the tracks again. A horse interposed itself between him and the trail. “Out of my way,” Alvar snarled, motioning Olaf aside. Scarlet drops cast off his arm as he did so, and his mouth filled with iron.
“Your hunt is over,” Olaf said.
“I haven’t caught it yet.”
“It doesn’t matter what you stalk, it matters what you first kill.” Olaf motioned behind Alvar at the dead lion. “Besides, you need to be stitched up before you bleed to death.”
Spitting another mouthful of blood, Alvar looked at the tooth marks bit deep into his left forearm, and down at the rents elsewhere on his body. If not for the numbing cold, he’d have been paralyzed by agony. He wobbled unsteadily, his torn face dripping down his shirt even as it leaked into his mouth.
Alvar crumpled backwards into the snow.
* * *
It was said that Alvar took the pain well. It helped that they’d sutured his face first and consequently immobilized his jaw to prevent him pulling out stitches. The worst injuries had been to the left side of his face, his left forearm and the front of his thighs. The claw marks across his torso had been long, but shallow. Unable to kneel, he sat on a stool beside the throne. Swaddled in bandages, the king set his bloodied blade on the pedestal. The Snow Lion lay upon the floor before the throne, looking for all the world as though it had lain down to take a nap. During their fight in the wild, Alvar hadn’t realized how big the cat actually was. He could have lain on its back easily. No wonder it had knocked him down so effortlessly. The great hall was cold, but Alvar welcomed the chill. The cold had saved his life in the forest, and it kept the pain down now.
Though only the men of the court had attended the presentation of the blade, the king’s rite of manhood was of interest to any man of the kingdom. That Alvar had made his blade produced little interest in the common man. That he had slain a Snow Lion with it brought them in droves out of sheer curiosity. Few had ever seen the dangerous beasts, and many of those did not return to speak of it. So to even be able to see the remains of one brought them to the great hall of Skogahaugr. Olaf had to post guards at the door to control the crowds and to keep the women and children outside. It was not their place to attend the presentation of the kill and attest to the suitability of the beast. Women had their own rites, from which men were excluded. From both, children could only wait in futile frustration until their time came.
It was not appropriate for Alvar to speak, so it was of little consequence that he could not. With that last bat to the head, the lion had dug its claws in deep. There was no way the king’s face would not bear scars from the wound. It was the last thing on Alvar’s mind. He was annoyed at the lion for having interrupted his hunt, and confused at Olaf’s behavior. To be rid of Alvar, and the last obstacle to fully claiming the crown, he had merely needed to act slow. The lion had done most of the work. Instead, he’d done everything to make sure the king lived. Now all the churls and thanes gawked at the dead lion and the wounds their king had sustained fighting it. Such a move would surely weaken Olaf’s hold on Snaerveldi. Alvar the boy was a useful tool. Alvar the man could dispose with his regent.
It didn’t make sense the the young man.
The king’s eyes went to where his step-father was observing the line of curiosity seekers pretending to be interested in the rite. He actually looked proud. Proud of what?
Alvar didn’t understand.
This is in the same universe as my book in a week project, and Alvar makes an appearance in that work as a backup character.
While it was technically eight days (Sunday to Sunday), FitzBan the Traveller is effectively done, with all but the opening 7500 words written in the 7+1 days. It clocks in at around 94,000 words, and demands a sequel. I’m ending it here for several reasons.
a: It’s already long.
b: There’s a whole other book’s worth of world to cover for the narrtor to reach home
c: I had a excellent series of encounters with a pirate to serve as the climax.
d: Ending with his boots touching unexplored shores strikes me as poetic.
e: I have no idea what I’d do for a climactic encounter if I stretched out the book to encompas the journey through these lands and back to his home.
As an aside, yesterday I set a new personal best, writing 13,502 words between about 8am and midnight. The main problem with writing a book is a week is that it gets seriously detrimental to the author. I got to the point where I was begrudging any time away from the keyboard, even for food or sleep. I was writing myself to exhaustion, and the day the plumber came by where I only got 9k words, I was stressing out immensely. Some of these days I started at 5-6 am and ran to midnight. So I was willingly pulling 16-18 hours a day on this project.
Excellent read, thank you. Left me wanting more, so now I guess I will have to buy “Prince of the North Tower”.
I guess I have to finish writing that…
Why are you commenting here and not writing then, huh? PRONTO!
🙂
Going full Robert E. Howard with your writing methodology. Nice.
Thanks UCS. I enjoyed it.
“So I was willingly pulling 16-18 hours a day on this project.”
But…but…when do you play video games or watch sports?
During the past week… never.
I can’t keep up that pace indefinately, and had to force myself to take a break today, else I’d never manage to return to the day job tomorrow.
A nice tale, I need more please, I can’t wait!
No, really, when’s the next installment?
This story is self-contained.
I don’t know if I’m going to give away the “Pirates of Dragon’s Cove” yarn from the same universe or include it in another volume.
Prince of the North Tower is working its way towards completion, and as mentioned above, FitzBan the Traveller completed first draft phase this week. (It’s a very rough first draft and will need ironing out before publication).
All three follow different people though.
A good tale well told then, Bravo!
Spoiler Alert: Fitzban is actually Paladine.
?
The Dragonlance series featured a character that was a befuddled version of Gandalf or Dumbledore that had occasional insight offered to the heroes. Turns out in the end, he was the greatest of the Good Gods come down to earth in a human form and disguising his true identity.
He also showed up in the Deathgate cycle by Weiss/Hickman as well.
I support your work and have enjoyed your previous offerings, but I wonder if the name is too close to a character from an albeit cheesy series that sold about 50 different books. Just throwing it out there.
Dammit, why should I change, they’re the ones who suck.
/office space
The pommel was a simple lug – can it be unscrewed and thrown at the enemy / obscure meme
susurration – never heard this word before. blog spellcheck does not recognize it either. it is similar to the Romanian word susur, means the same thing
I am never surprised when my vocabularly is broader than the spellchecker’s.
Fantasy/ SciFi writers love the Big words, I concur
/learned a lot from all the reading
you just add 6 unnecessary letters to the word
Or learn a new word, I like learning
An enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing UCS.
Thank you.
not bad. although i do not like to much description in fiction this one was ok.
so what does a snow lion mean? Is it good? Must be better than a rabbit
Don’t listen to him. I like lots of description.
Is that the kingdom of board games and beer?
Also, nice work.
Heh I thought something similar.
Why not both?
Wow, if it came with some avocado toast, that would be a hipster wet dream.
I have made a decision. I no longer like writing in prose, as I get much more enjoyment writing in screenplay format, and I have a fantasy story but no if I write it as a screenplay it will go unproduced given circumstances. So I’ll just give the idea away for anyone who wants to pick it up.
A man has visions of an invading army of monsters (think if a kingdom of neanderthals went undiscovered until medieval times) he tries to tell the king but is deemed crazy and thrown into a medieval equivalent of a madhouse. Some years later the invasion begins, and lasts for 11 years with a new army being raised every year to fight. The 11th army manages to push the invaders back to the ocean before being wiped out. Finally the king remembers the main character and goes to ask him to lead the 12th army, but at this point the character has been driven a bit mad himself and only trusts the other crazies and demands they join him on the quest, out of desperation the king agrees. This 12th army made up of crazies goes off to war with the sigil of a monkey. (I like to work in pop culture references, there are two in there)
Hmm, lets see, crazies & monkey = chimp out = RACIST!!!
Nicely done. A very enjoyable read.
Thank you.
Fuck you slaver!
Also, I still haven’t read Grufield 18 and now I’m supposed to read this, too?!
Well, have you read the four books individually?
No. But I did purchase it, so there is that.
I hope to read them this winter. But I think I said that last winter, too.
I like this. And I like turning the “Regent is power hungry” trope on its head. Or at least leaving the door open to that being the case based on the ending.
To spoil it, Olaf helped raise Alvar since the boy was six, and does regard him as his son. He actually regards the king as his son, and is perfectly happy if he becomes a good man and decent king. Alvar is still resentful of the man who replaced his actual father.
That was the vibe I was picking up. That maybe Alvar’s resentment had more to do with that than with Olaf himself.
Great read, UCS. From this alone, the thing that’s not clear to me, yet, is that Alvar isn’t a complete jerk and Olaf isn’t just taking a fatherly interest in him. Still, it’s a lot of fun.
OT: Today in Nazis
LOL perfect
For fucksake, actual people who survived the holocaust were in the key demo for Hogan’s Heroes, how ever did they survive such traumatization?
Not to mention one of the actors of Hogan’s Heroes was a survivor of the death camps.
To be fair I think he was trying to state that you don’t use the Heil Hitler or Bellamy salute to communicate “when you think someone is being too authoritarian.” You simply call them a Nazi or physically attack them. That is the proper way to resist authoritarianism.
Preferably with a black neckerchief tied around your face.
You know who else liked to use the jackboots to stifle dissent?
Janet Reno?
The CEO of Red Wing ?
How long till Steve gets canned by the higher-ups at the ADL? They never miss an opportunity to overblow a situation.
Frédéric Bastiat
Notorious big-government collectivist…obviously a Nazi.
The Nazis really blew it. Think of the fun they could have caused by vigorously promoting common things.
“Der Furher says all good party members should vigorously shake their little storm trooper after urination and thoroughly wash their hands afterwards” – Any guy coming out of a bathroom with a few spots on his trousers and dry hands is a Nazi.
“All good party members will cover their mouth and nose when sneezing.” – If you don’t spray at least 10 people with snot, you are Hitler Jr.
BTW, Trump could probably pull this troll off now. Same exact things too.
He would just tweet about how important shaking and washing is to him and antifa would be walking around in urine soaked sweats
When I get bored during faculty meetings, I usually just pull my pants down and moon everyone. No need to go full Godwin.
Wouldn’t broadcasting a video of Hitler speechifying have a similar effect?
The women wouldn’t comment admiringly on the structure of Hitler’s speech.
So, no.
Speaking of Hitler videos, I am still amused by this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rurBHWxYaR0
On the side links to that article: Love is a battlefield for husband, wife who fought side by side in Iraq
Excelsior, Stan
I don’t much find celebrity deaths to impact me, but I met Stan multiple times in the 90s when my brother and I ran our own comic book shop in high school and college.
Elderly people who lose a spouse never seem to last much longer. The man may have made some dick moves throughout his career, but he never seemed to have purely bad intentions towards anyone. Seemed he got to live a long, full life.
He did get around. For awhile there it seemed like I was seeing him in every movie and TV show.
Don’t worry, they’ve filmed some already.
And I don’t even watch Marvel movies.
Yeah. Especially for long marriages. They were together like 60 some years. And I agree. I think his importance creatively has been somewhat overstated when it came to creating all those super heroes, but his knack for promoting and selling.
No surprise. I’d lose my will to live after the loss of the subconsciously-taken-for-granted comfort of a 60-year constant, too. Idk how some people continue to enjoy life after that; they amaze and confound me.
I don’t really think it’s all that different than the person who gets out of a long term relationship with someone they supposedly cared for and jumps right into another one within a week and by week two is talking about how they’re with the love of their life. A lot of human attachments, even those that are on the surface the most serious, are pretty fucking shallow.
Maybe they’re just numbing the pain of bereavement with such meaningless relationships—so, the former relationships weren’t necessarily meaningless. You know, like others numb
ourtheir overwhelming misanthropy with alcohol and posting on fringe forums.Well shit
Excelsior indeed.
Darn,
’nuff said!
Obligatory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFLlwtqHINs
RIP Stan.
Apparently the biggest news today is that Miley Cyrus is homeless.
Did she finally break her dad’s achy breaky heart?
Did she get drunk and forget where she lives?
She’s insured, the Music Studio made it through, that’s all that counts……..
*Looks for some gasoline and a match to finish off the music studio*
You mean the hottest woman in the world? /snark
So you are saying it’s not a party in the USA?
Homelessness is a much higher probability if one lacks talent and resorts to stripping to get attention.
Don’t forget birthday boy Neil Young.
Based on appearances, Neil already is homeless
…(our so-called president)…
Isn’t washed up hippie a Canuck?
Yes. Wikipedia says he retains Canadian citizenship.
Is she ever out of makeup?
Apparently the security guard that was shot by the police after he saving the world from an active shooter — well he was black. Now all my liberal friends on facebook are raging about racism again.
This is the scenario that worries me about my own concealed carry.
Same. My carry instructor spent quite a bit of time on not getting shot by first responders.
Seriously, holding a person at gunpoint so they can be arrested leaves you open to being shot. Not to mention if you’re in a fire fight with the spree shooter.
Once you don’t need to go bang bang, put the gun in the holster.
Wait, what? I unplugged this weekend. Is this the Thousand Oaks shooting?
No. Chicagoland.
But of course
The interesting question is whether or not the officer who shot the guard was black as well.
Also wondering if the guard was wearing a uniform or just typical bouncer attire.
https://wgntv.com/2018/11/12/officer-responds-to-gunfire-fatally-shoots-security-guard-at-robbins-bar/
It all began when security asked a group of drunken men to leave Manny’s shortly before 4 a.m. Sunday. Witnesses said someone came back with a gun and opened fire. Security returned fire, witnesses said, and Roberson was able to detain one of the men involved outside.
“He had somebody on the ground with his knee in back, with his gun in his back, like, ‘Don’t move,'” Harris said.
Soon after, according to witnesses, an officer responding to the scene shot at Roberson — killing him.
Well, when it comes to cops, they have a point.
Broken clocks and all…
Yes.
But the two articles I’ve read so far indicate there was basically a gun fight between some patrons and the bouncers. One of the bouncers chased down a shooter outside the place of business. And the bouncer got himself shot while holding down a person while holding a gun in that person’s back.
The more I read, the less inclined I am to assume the worst of the police.
I was speaking about cops in general.
Right.
I read only the headline first thing this morning. I assumed some hyped up LEO did the usual shoot-everything-explain-later type of thing.
My FB friends responded to a BBC article that showed the face of some young black guy. They immediately jumped on “police are racist” bandwagon.
I imagine this will turn out to be another I-hate-everyone-involved scenario.
The real story here is that there might actually be a functioning business in Robbins.
Nice work, UnCiv.
I’m a big fan of stories with lots of cold and snow.
Great job!
It had a Helliconia Winter Vibe, always cold
this is a very good thing
So…you like your fiction to remind you of your current state?
Sure. I just wish we had snow lions.
Why wish, get yourself a lion and a polar bear, set em up with a nice candlelit dinner, some Barry White on the hi-fi…Snow Lion.
Good idea!
But I think this occasion calls for Marvin.
Big Ethan Frome fan, huh?
Judy Wallace, who works at Middlesex Community College, said Meyrick’s salute was “offensive” and came out of nowhere as Ojakian was soliciting feedback on the plan to consolidate into one college.
Was he also muttering, “Anschluss”?
I find Sayre’s Law also applies to church/synagogue/whatever politics as well.
HOAs
Do you tell me where to put my satellite dish!!
Supposed to be Don’t. Either way a bit of a sore point with me.
South facing house, huh?
East facing townhome. Couldn’t put on the roof for aesthetic (HOA) reasons. Couldn’t face South from the patio because of the trees in the way. So I found a place on my garage that was kind of in a well so you couldn’t see it unless you were on my front stoop and looked up. None of the known busybodies would be in my doorway as they were never invited to my place.
The typo convoys the emotion of the moment.
damnit, my typo is just me being stupid.
Breaker 1-9 good buddy!
Now all my liberal friends on facebook are raging about racism again.
You don’t expect them to wrassle with the moral implications of “public servants” being exempt from accountability for their actions, do you?
When I get bored during faculty meetings, I usually just pull my pants down and moon everyone.
No twerking?
I haz a disappoint.
One of the bouncers chased down a shooter outside the place of business. And the bouncer got himself shot while holding down a person while holding a gun in that person’s back.
I’m surprised the cop didn’t shoot them both, just in case. You can’t be too careful where OFFICER SAFETY is concerned.
Patriarchy wins again.
https://nypost.com/2018/11/12/universitys-sports-bra-ban-for-athletes-was-a-complete-debacle/
TL;DR
They made dudes wear bros too?
manzier!
I just don’t want to hear their bitching when I subject them to my male gaze.
OT: How much ya wanna bet that government chose the vendor that fucked the VA system up on the basis of their wokeness quotient rather than they ability create viable working code huh?
I can’t stand to see so many alleged libertarians agreeing that this is good, clearly someone out there must hate it.
It needs more donkey pr0n?
I’m just amazed anybody read it here.
I guess some people don’t have anything better to do.
Well, its not like he linked to it.
Of course someone hates it.
It deals with males and masculinity in a non-negative light and with hunting as an encouraged acitivty.
As for the people around here, I’m shocked no one protested the hereditary monarchy!
Why would I protests a fictional piece?
Could be the audience in the chatroom.
oH, i just made up my own fanfic that after the kid becomes king he advicates the throne and they immediately began creating a well organised republic with a strong constitution chaining the power of the state. I have an imagination, damnit!
Lets see…
Atlor – Monarchy
Valay – Fuedal monarchy with overmighty vassals
Vartenthral – Monarchy
Volkmund – Elective monarchy… chosen by heredetary electors who are effectively monarchs in their own right
Quendaverus – Byzantine Imperial system with convoluted rules of succession
Neph – Monarchy specifically exclusing queens
Zesrin, Iokathra, Snaerveldi, Zanthas – Monarchies
Palm Coast – Fuedal warlordism
Ravamaer – Autocratic theocracy
Xesor – Anarchist sea nomads living a subsistance existance.
Byzeri – Totalitarian Bureaucracy
I don’t think he’d even know what a ‘Republic’ is
It’s my fanfic! And don’t tell me he can’t marry a unicorn because there aren’t any there! It’s my fanfic!
Good stuff.
UCS, would read again. Your other books are more sci-fi than fantasy though, right?
The published stuff. I’ve been writing fantasy most of this year, so some will be showing up soon.
Cool, I’m sure you won’t hesitate to let us know when it drops.
I liked this part:
It made me reflect how our own society seems to lack such initiations, and whether they would be a good idea. Maybe it would.
Now that I think about it, I really hated the hereditary monarchy!
Fuck that slaver shit.
Good point, this is all just Monarchist propaganda.
I not sure I’m buying the hunting a deer with a sword bit, but I wouldn’t say I hate it.
Would you have preferred an atlatl?
*Googles atlatl* Yes seems much more plausible.
There is a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ line about being allowed to make other implements when out there. Alvar is… well, a bad hunter.
Oh I didn’t blink, and I considered the dumb kid angle but you made him seem more capable than that, identifying animal tracks and knowing to be downwind etc….
I was trying for the angle of not yet thinking things through properly. He fixates on the issue of ‘find the beast’ and stumbles into ‘okay, I found it, now what?’ rather than being prepared for the next few steps in the problem.
Thus showing him, for all he does know, to be a bad hunter (underprepared), and demonstrating a character flaw without outright telling the audience about it.
Yeah, I would have been a bit miffed if you made him actually catch a deer with a sword. At least in the forests around here, ain’t no way you can catch a deer on foot. Those fuckers will jump right over a down tree like its nothing and that’ll take you a whole minute to route around or over.
That deer didn’t live to be that old in a kingdom full of hunters by being easy to sneak up on.
If anyone ever needs their article to be called a piece of shit, I’m the guy. I’m that guy. I’m the one.
This was gayer than hobbits, Unciv.
So you found it happy and uplifting? You are odd.
Listed under failures in self promotion: L.A. Band Threatin Faked a Fanbase To Land a European Tour No One Attended
Somebody spent a lot of money and time to create a buzz for a band … and failed miserably.
You linked to them. Must have worked somewhat.
But nobody reads links around here.
We have links?
It would probably be better if they spent all that time on making music that doesn’t suck.
Now that is funny.
My wife and I use to do live shows around here – made some money, lost some money. Once there were some big promotion push from a Street Punk (GMM?) for a multi-band tour. We booked them, putting over a thousand bucks to rent a hall and pay the bands.
And ended up with 30 or so people showing up. At $5 a head we lost most of our business kitty on that show.
*Street Punk label that is
I’ve always been curious how the process worked. When a fairly large act comes to a small venue, are they paid a flat fee? How does the booking agent get paid?
Idiots. You’re supposed to pay the tastemakers—so that they’ll create buzz for you—not the venue owners, who have no such power.
The media are the manipulators.
*not try to manipulate the venue owners yourself, rather
As for the people around here, I’m shocked no one protested the hereditary monarchy!
Why? The hereditary monarchy was shown as a paranoid jerk. The merchant prince who married into the family was supportive and decent. What could be more warming to a libertarian’s cold black heart?
Late to the party, UCS, sorry.
Great story.
Moar, pleez!
I’m sorking on it. I had to go an rename the main character of the book I just finished because other people who sucked sounding too similar to his name.
*working.
And thanks.