Friday Afternoon Links

Sorry to post and run on a Friday, but I have to prep for and attend a come to Jesus meeting with a client. Hope your afternoon is better.

Today is the 80th anniversary of Kristallnacht. Here is a moving Twitter feed with actual pictures of Nazis attacking a synagogue, presumed to be from Kristallnacht.

Sorry for your loss, but you already have gun control. No additional gun control will save anyone else’s child from being murdered.

A good breakdown of what the issues are in the FL Senate race.

Self-Hating woman details how “multiple men were willing to take a bullet [for women]” during the Thousand Oaks shooting. Well done lads, even if you were there to linedance

Its kind of “come to Jesus” song, right?

Comments

616 responses to “Friday Afternoon Links”

  1. Tres Cool

    I got….nuthin

    1. Tres Cool

      ‘cept THIS ! Not HIT IT!

      1. Timeloose

        Poor poly.

        1. Tres Cool

          Died of cancer. What an un-punk way to go out.

          1. Tundra

            “No shit.”

            /Joey, Johnny and Tommy Ramone

          2. Festus

            Joey Shithead (D.O.A.) is a municipal politician in Burnaby.

          3. Festus

            I used to crank this after arguing with my parents, heh – https://youtu.be/m38EdJeM6dU

  2. RBS

    Speaking of Nazis… Worse than Hitler.

    1. Count Potato

      Too local.

    2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      To be fair, to some people pissing on a Beto shirt is as bad as pissing on the Koran.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        I may or may not be one of those people…

    3. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption

      “Assault”??? WTF…did he throw it at the girl? It says he handed it to her.

      Or, are they considering the shirt to be a person?

      Fuck these college kids…

      /works for college pd

  3. Sean

    Multiple Men’ Were ‘Ready to Take a Bullet for Any Single One of Us,’ Says Woman Who Survived California Shooting

    Sounds like toxic masculinity.

    1. Tundra

      The same thing happened in Aurora. I sure would rather have had those young men return fire.

      1. Chafed

        This^^^

      2. commodious spittoon

        The same was described in the Vegas shooting, men laying across women to shield their bodies.

        But remind us how we’re nothing but would-be rapists. Go on. Oh, right: patriarchy hurts men, too. Including the men who interpose themselves between women and danger, I suppose.

        1. Mad Scientist

          “Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat.” – Hillary Clinton

        2. In the aforementioned Aurora shooting, there was some talk in the local media about that. Like it was some kind of big news story, that men would put themselves in harm’s way to protect their women. Why the hell is that a news story? Shouldn’t we take it as a given that men would protect women in any such situation?

      3. I live about five miles from the theater where the Aurora shooting took place.

        About a year after that event, I was talking about it with my East Coast proggie friend Paul. I mentioned that the event had me rethinking my stance on private property rights, and how I now ignored the “no firearms” signs and carried into the theaters. Paul asked me, were such an event to happen, how I thought that would help. “Then,” he said, “you’ll have two people shooting! Won’t that make things worse?”

        I told him, “In that incident, you had a guy walking around, unopposed, shooting helpless people. How the living fuck can it get any worse than that? Were I there, I may have had a shot, and I would have taken it.”

        He didn’t have an answer.

    2. Spudalicious

      The patriarchy didn’t think the women could protect themselves.

    3. Brochettaward

      Every girl is a feminist until bullets start flying.

      1. The Last American Hero

        That’s when they use their flying scissor kick move to take out the attacker, sending his unconscious form to the ground and landing in a low stance with one leg out to the side, right?

        1. RAHeinlein

          LOL – I’m watching “House of Flying Daggers”

    4. Viking1865

      Giving bullets is so much more effective than taking them.

  4. Tundra

    Those twitter pics are amazing. Evil can be so fucking ordinary-looking.

    1. PBRstreetgang

      Seriously. Those look like any other set of men from that era, yet they knowingly went along with pure evil.

      1. Tundra

        A pretty good argument for the 2A, huh?

        I was listening to a Jordan Peterson lecture the other day and he was talking about this. He told the audience that although they all think they couldn’t have possibly been Nazis, the reality is that many would have gone along with it. Seeing those pics reinforces that.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          A pretty good argument for the 2A, huh?

          Not really at those odds. You might take one or two bastards down with you, and then it turns from “few people beaten to death, synagogue burned” to “entire families wiped out”.

          1. Tundra

            Yeah? I still like Solzhenitsyn:

            “And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?… The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin’s thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt! If…if…We didn’t love freedom enough. And even more – we had no awareness of the real situation…. We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward.”

            Besides, “entire families wiped out” happened anyway.

          2. PBRstreetgang

            To paraphrase Zapata: Better to die on your feet than to die on your knees

          3. Pan Zagloba

            And while Solzhenitsyn and his buddies are supposedly burning later in the camps, they still aren’t doing that to the guards. They are daily being taken out to pointless busywork by handfuls of guards and are dying but not attacking them. Because they know, one is certain death, and one…well, there’s a time on your sentence. People get pardoned as arbitrarily as they get arrested. I mean, how many tormentors did he kill in the end?

            And yes, families got wiped out anyway. But at the time – do you want to shoot the brownshirts? They’re not coming in with weapons drawn. They’re yelling, and punching, but, they seem to just want to ransack the place. Can you shoot one before the rest kill you? And what happens to your family right now? It’s just stuff. It’s easier to just let it pass and get the hell out as soon as you can. And what of the others? If you shoot a brownshirt, is there going to be martial law tomorrow? Jews are now branded as violent revolutionaries, trying to overthrow the government by force, so now Army and police will get involved, and you can kiss whatever sympathy your neighbors had for you and yours.

            2A is a fine thing. It won’t keep less than 0.5% of the population alive from the government if the government wants them dead.

          4. Not Adahn

            “The Government” doesn’t exist. It can’t want anything.

            A person can order another person to kill yet more people. How far down the chain of command that propagates can vary. The people who actually do the killing are motivated and incentivized just like any other people. If it is more risky/costly for him to carry out his order, the less likely he will be to do so.

          5. Soyboy

            Great post.

          6. R C Dean

            Well, Solzhenitsyn wasn’t talking about property damage and vandalism. He was talking about arrests and mass arrests.

            The calculus is different when you are in a gulag in Siberia. You are disarmed (except perhaps for some tools) in an armed camp with nowhere to go. At best, you will kill one guard before you are killed, and Nothing Else Will Happen.

            That said, I’m sure you are largely right that its one thing to say “coulda woulda shoulda”, and another to actually do it. Taking up arms against the state is basically saying you are willing to die and you know you likely will. I know my risk tolerance would be very different if I were single.

          7. BakedPenguin

            The calculus is different when you are in a gulag in Siberia. You are disarmed (except perhaps for some tools) in an armed camp with nowhere to go. At best, you will kill one guard before you are killed, and Nothing Else Will Happen.

            THIS. Welcome to your ever life.

          8. I don’t buy the “the government’s too strong, so don’t bother” argument against private gun ownership. Besides which, the Nazis thought it was enough of a threat to use the Weimar-era gun registration logs to confiscate firearms owned by Jews.

          9. Pan Zagloba

            It’s a shit argument against it, I agree.

            “If only Jews were armed, they’d kill enough Nazis to stop them” is likewise shit argument in favor, because it’s wrong. Armed Jews don’t change shit. It made it slightly easier, yes. Mostly because you don’t need government at that point – if he knows his Jewish neighbor is a) rich (because Jew) and b) disarmed (because laws), your basic criminal can do intimidation on government’s behalf without the embarrassment of Crystal Night.

            I have a guy in my family tree who actually said “fuck Nazis” and went off into the forest to fight them. No fucking way one in ten people (including me) is capable of doing what he did when the real shit goes down.

          10. Tundra

            Not just the Jews, Pan, but everyone.

            “If only Jews were armed, they’d kill enough Nazis to stop them” That’s not exactly what I’m arguing. Besides, there is no way to know. I do know that if everyone is armed, it’s sure a fuck ton more difficult to enslave them.

          11. Pan Zagloba

            Oh by a third party, sure.

            I mean, if we are on Germany, Freikorps stopped an attempt at a Communist uprising by shooting a bunch of Communists, whether they were in on an uprising or not. If they didn’t privately own guns, it could have gone different.

            But now we come to the key part – if everyone who wants to have a gun is armed, and some brownshirt are getting rowdy because a Jew murdered a German diplomat in Paris, and Jews start killing them…who do you think other neighbors shoot at? I mean, lots of former Freikorps guys liked Hitler, even if they weren’t fully on anti-Jew or Down With Big Business train.

          12. Heroic Mulatto

            who do you think other neighbors shoot at? I mean, lots of former Freikorps guys liked Hitler, even if they weren’t fully on anti-Jew or Down With Big Business train.

            Ok, but on the other hand, there were Polish partisan groups that stood ranks with Jewish fighters during the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising as well. The uprising lasted a little under a month too, which is pretty amazing considering the circumstances.

          13. Tundra

            It’s an interesting exercise. Would non-Japanese stand by and allow their neighbors to be rounded up a la FDR (may he burn in hell)? I kind of doubt it. We have enough history (and guns) to realize where that shit leads.

            Hell, the feds backed down from a bunch of armed normals at the Bundy ranch.

            Nah, I’m gonna stick with arming everyone.

          14. Jarflax

            I think the value of an armed populace is less that you will resist the gestapo when they show up to your house and more that if the gestapo starts mass arrests you and your neighbors have the means at hand to sneak out at night and snipe gestapo agents and other government officials.

            You aren’t winning the direct fight to defend your home and family. Once you are wanted by the secret police you are dead or hiding in the woods. But collectively (I know bad word) if enough private citizens have guns there is this sleeping dog the State has to keep asleep. Will it protect unpopular minorities? No. Will it rise up if they slowly erode liberties? No. But if they push too hard, or decide to target someone who is insufficiently marginalized the people have the means to fight at hand. The Cliven Bundy situation is an example.

          15. Viking1865

            You aren’t winning the direct fight to defend your home and family.

            Exactly. If shit ever does get to the point of open tyranny, then the answer is not heroic open stands, it’s the assassination of minor bureaucrats and “only following orders” types.

            “Who guards the guards” has a second meaning. You can’t get to Hitler and his cronies, because they have plenty of SS men around them. But SS men have to sleep, and eat, and buy gas and drop off their spiffy black uniforms at the dry cleaners.

          16. commodious spittoon

            But SS men have to sleep, and eat, and buy gas and drop off their spiffy black uniforms at the dry cleaners.

            Which, if you think about it, is precisely what “antifa” is doing by going after Tucker Carlson’s wife, because Tucker Carlson is such a dangerous and violent Nazi.

          17. Jarflax

            Which, if you think about it, is precisely what “antifa” is doing by going after Tucker Carlson’s wife, because Tucker Carlson is such a dangerous and violent Nazi.

            and here we get to the real ugliness of armed resistance to oppression. It isn’t always, or even generally, good guys defending liberty from tyrants; often it is wannabe tyrants attacking those they see as blocking them from their ‘proper’ place. Civil wars seldom produce liberty.

          18. Pope Jimbo

            What about the Koreans on the rooftops of their stores during the LA riots?

            The time to fight fire is when it is just a few embers. Once you have a blaze going, it is a lot harder to put out.

        2. Just consider how many of them support Profa.

        3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

          We certainly see a lot of people willing to be the Red Guards.

        4. creech

          Most of those being arrested knew they were innocent. “It is just a mistake that will be sorted out.”
          “Besides, I supported the regime change. I’m not the one they will stand up against the wall.”

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            It wasn’t a Wall, it was Cattlecars……

          2. dbleagle

            Actually the most Jews died by being shot by ditches, walls, and alongside roads. The most western Jews died in the camps.

          3. DenverJ

            ^the fun guy at parties

          4. dbleagle

            Sorry. The 80th anniversary of the Kristalnacht combined with a family history of people being marched away to be never seen again.

    2. Charlie Suet

      Didn’t have to scroll through the replies for long to find some clown who thinks “we’re living in those times again now”.

  5. Sorry to post and run on a Friday

    I doubt you’re really sorry. :p

  6. Tundra

    Sorry to post and run on a Friday, but I have to prep for and attend a come to Jesus meeting with a client.

    Time to lay it on the line, Brett!

    1. RBS

      Who?

      1. Sean

        Some hobbit with a big ass.

        1. Luther Baldwin

          And a yuuge debt to the Daily Mail.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            And about 20 lbs of ass-silicone.

    2. Tundra

      I believe your little fatty had a cameo in one of Q’s presentations this morning.

    3. OBJ FRANKELSON

      Can I haz both? Preferable at the same time.

  7. TITTY ATTACK!

    http://archive.is/eAkZO

    5 definitely has some lower back problems coming.

  8. Pan Zagloba

    Today is the 80th anniversary of Kristallnacht.

    BBC has a lovely article in which they stretch around the point like they’re Reed Richards.

    Kristallnacht anniversary: France warns of steep rise in anti-Semitism

    France has Europe’s biggest Jewish community and Jews have seen a wave of violent attacks, by jihadists as well as in the poorer urban suburbs

    In 2015 a jihadist murdered four people at a kosher supermarket in Paris
    In 2017, 65-year-old Sarah Halimi was brutally beaten before being thrown out of her Paris apartment window by a Muslim neighbour
    In January 2018 an eight-year-old Jewish boy wearing a kippah (skullcap) was beaten up by teenagers
    In March 2018, Mireille Knoll, 85, was repeatedly stabbed and burned in her Paris flat

    It’s weird that perpetrators are identified in two examples, but not in all four. French white racists need to step up so that such lists will be less embarrassing to the BBC.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      French white racists need to step up

      Looks like someone has a crush on Marine Le Pen.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Hey, say what you will about the family’s tenets, I would the niece.

        1. Brochettaward

          I don’t think that’s a problem. I mean, Indiana Jones hated Nazis. He established it right in the start of the film. He still fucked the hot blond one. Hopefully repeatedly.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            That’s a good point.

          2. Mad Scientist

            Indy was trying to dilute the master race’s pure blood line, one hot blonde at a time.

          3. Tundra

            A hero, really.

            But sloppy seconds in that case, remember.

          4. Pan Zagloba

            There is no shame in being Sean Connery’s sloppy seconds. Even today.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          I’m guessing she only likes black guys.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Maybe, she actually split with the party and left politics, so she might be sick of/over the FN shit.

  9. R C Dean

    Broward County is a total shitshow at this point. In what may be the fastest federal court decision ever, a judge ruled that they violated the law and have to allow inspection of ballots and records to-fucking-day, dammit.

    Oddly, I haven’t heard of anyone going to the mattresses in AZ, even though Phoenix has a record of highly, highly questionable voting “practices” (up to and including people just dropping off boxes of completed “mail-in” ballots). I mean, both sides have lawyered up, but we don’t have crowds protesting outside the election offices, etc.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Because they’re busy doing real work. Attacking Carlson’s family and protesting the firing of Sessions.

      I don’t get that one. My prog friend from Boston absolutely lost it when he was appointed saying he was a crazy person and a racist. But now they protest him being removed? Because Trump? They don’t make sense. Not even by their standards of what ‘sense’ means.

    2. Tonio

      I never understood why absentee ballots were such a problem. You get to count those early, or at least most of them. (Anyone know how late those are accepted by mail).

      Yes, it would be a problem that the election officials know ahead of time that there are 1,234 absentee votes for Jones and only 567 for Smith, but an even bigger problem to have a sealed drawer of 1,801 uncounted absentee ballots and be able to sell those to the highest bidder on election day.

      1. Tonio

        Obvs, the best solution is no absentee ballots, but I’m squeamish about disenfranchising active duty servicemembers stationed overseas, etc.

        1. RAHeinlein

          Team Blue likes to rant about better voting access – I’d love a proposal that facilitated voting by overseas servicemembers and set-up polling places/voter registration drives on military bases.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            The military does a lot better job now than when I first joined about facilitating a service member’s right and ability to vote.

            Still have to use absentee ballots, but the military does a lot better job at helping you do that.

          2. Tonio

            That would be messy, legally. You’d have to have Radar O’Reilly types sworn in as election officials by multiple US states, or have each state pass a uniform amendment allowing designated US military personnel to act as local voting registrars, etc. Maybe just have them notarized on base (etc)?

        2. Gadfly

          If it weren’t for the fact that receipts could be used to coerce people, I would totally promote an electronic system wherein everyone is generated a random ID when they vote that they can compare to government records later to ensure that their vote was counted accurately and lodge a complaint if not. Then ballots (including absentee) could be secure in transit from the casting to the counting.

          1. Tonio

            Printed, unique untraceable receipt. You can burn or shred your receipt if you want to, but anyone with the receipt can scan it and audit it.

        3. robc

          Maybe we should have less of them stationed overseas.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            This too.

      2. R C Dean

        I never understood why absentee ballots were such a problem.

        Mail-in ballots are vastly less secure than election day ballots. Election day ballots are only exposed to tampering for a few days, and are, or should be, always in a highly controlled environment. Mail-in ballots are “in the wild” and essentially unsecured for days or weeks at a time, up until they are received by the election officials (and even then, are in play longer, which is inherently less secure, for the same reason that early voting ballots are less secure than election day ballots).

        We have completely wrecked election integrity in this country in the name of “convenience”. About the only election less valid than the ones our government runs is the voting for MLB all-stars.

        1. Tonio

          But surely the USPS… [loses it, can’t finish joke]

    3. Count Potato

      “Trump, Republicans claim Arizona election fraud amid tight McSally-Sinema race for Senate”

      https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/elections/2018/11/09/mcsally-sinema-election-republicans-claim-arizona-vote-fraud/1942637002/

      I don’t understand how it was a tight race. Arizona is a red state, and Sinema ran a terrible campaign.

      1. R C Dean

        Two words:

        Tucson.

        Phoenix.

        A majority of Arizonans live in those two cities. Tucson is an off-the-rack university town, infested with proggies and liberals. Phoenix is a big city, and votes like a big city. The strategic reserve of conservative old people are mostly in the Phoenix suburbs.

        But, AZ is still schizo. The state legislature and governor are pretty much a Repub lock, but the Congresscritters and Senators are all over the map.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          McCain and Flake. AZ has been fucked up for a long time.

  10. Timeloose

    I’ll leave this one here for come to Jesus:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_uPLSPbA1g

    1. Timeloose

      Ear Worm Warning: It’ll get stuck in your head

      1. Chafed

        Finally. Thank you.

  11. Count Potato

    “Size 28 lingerie model who was urged to KILL HERSELF by cruel trolls insists ‘most men want a plus-sized babe’”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6371409/Size-28-lingerie-model-29-says-men-want-plus-sized-babe-told-KILL-HERSELF.html

    No, they don’t.

    TW: don’t click on the link

    1. Timeloose

      I didn’t listen. I should have. I will not be in my bunk.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Model?

        They left off the qualifier of ‘Fetish’ Model.

        Too big for John, even.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      God dammit, stop being retarded.

      Yes, most men don’t like the skeletal “we pick them because they make the clothes hang right” model-types. You could say they will even go to “plus-sized”. YOU ARE AT LEAST A MULTIPLIER-SIZED WOMAN! Exponents in fact might be involved!

      Also, I clicked. Fucking hell, now I suspect “Size 28” might be a lie.

      1. Nephilium

        No that’s size 2^8, they just messed up the formatting.

        1. Luther Baldwin

          Size 28 stone.

      2. Luther Baldwin

        I suspect “Size 28” might be a lie

        My thought exactly. I was expecting… well, not that.

        PS. Twitter is fucking cancer, people.

      3. Brochettaward

        “we pick them because they make the clothes hang right”

        I’d rephrase this as “we pick them because we’re gay and prefer androgyny in our females.”

        1. Luther Baldwin

          Nonsense. Gay men don’t give a shit what they look like. It’s all about the clothes.

          1. ^^This.

            /somebody who occasionally admires the fashion drawings hanging in his daughter’s bedroom from her great uncle

          2. Pan Zagloba

            That was my understanding. If they picked women by what they want in them, they’d have some brains and a sense of humor.

          3. Brochettaward

            Don’t make me get out my tinfoil hat and explain fashion gays to you.

          4. I think this video basically sums it up.

      4. ^This. My range goes from Lady Gaga to Christina Hendricks. She is not plus-sized. She’s morbidly obese.

      5. Gadfly

        Yes. Most men like women with “curves in all of the right places, and none of the wrong ones”, which can be “plus-size” but is not at all the same as fat. Thicc =/= land-whale.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Thicc =/= land-whale

          More like hippopotamus?

      6. Heroic Mulatto

        When she sits around the house, she really sits around the house.

        1. WTF

          When she sneezes, her chins applaud.
          She needs a bra – for her back.

          1. mindyourbusiness

            More chins than the Shanghai phone directory

            -I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?

          2. Tejicano

            Sounds like she would be the perfect match for Cap’n Ahab. You know, the guy who wanted to harpoon a white…. well… you know where that goes.

    3. Tundra

      That ain’t lingerie, it’s rigging.

    4. Soyboy

      Good for her for finding a niche. “Plus-sized” …. lol.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDFCuYuDy7k

    5. Although she confesses she has her own down days, the model and fashion blogger hopes to spread positivity and teach other plus-size women not to be ashamed, insisting her weight does not define her.

      Orly? Because there’s an entire article and instagram feed that disagrees–she is absolutely defining herself and building an entire life around being the size she is.

      1. Mad Scientist

        She identifies as someone who doesn’t identify as fat.

        1. Ah, of course.

          Can I identify as someone who already did her barbell rows and overhead press this evening because that’d be.. super.

    6. Hyperion

      “Size 28 lingerie model who was urged to KILL HERSELF by cruel trolls insists ‘most men want a plus-sized babe’”

      Well, I like plus size women a lot and freely admit it. However, that is not plus size or thicc, or curvy, or anything like that, that is FAT, period. Ewww.

  12. Pan Zagloba

    From the Florida Senate race article

    19/ @FlGovScott lawsuit provides sworn evidence that the Palm Beach County Supervisor of Elections prohibited his campaign’s reps from monitoring the creation of replacement ballots. Election officials are filling out new ballots, but the candidate’s reps apparently couldn’t see

    If true, this is some “Communists in first post-war elections” shit. Honestly, at this point I say give it to Democrats. Clearly they’re the ones who actually want to win.

    1. R C Dean

      Palm Beach County Supervisor of Elections prohibited his campaign’s reps from monitoring the creation of replacement ballots. Election officials are filling out new ballots,

      What the everloving fuck is a “replacement ballot” and why on earth should election officials be filling them out? How do they know what the ballot they are “replacing” voted for?

      1. Brett L

        Apparently, if a ballot is physically damaged and will not scan, an election official can faithfully reproduce the ballot so it can scan. This should be fewer than 100 in any polling place.

        1. R C Dean

          OK, that makes sense, but only if the damaged ballot is confirmed, and the replacement ballot is certified accurate, by at least two of the contestants.

        2. Brochettaward

          You know, in school, teachers of all stripes told us that if you didn’t fill out your scantron correctly, don’t come crying to them afterwards about it.

          For some reason, the standard for children taking tests is too high for adults voting.

          1. Tundra

            If you can’t fill in a goddamn oval, stay home.

          2. Soyboy

            Tundra wishing to disenfranchise Michael J. Fox. That’s fucked up, man.

          3. Soyboy

            Oh God, he’s Canadian…..

          4. Tundra

            Exactly. Stay home Michael.

          5. Pan Zagloba

            Tundra’s anti-Canadian racism is something we had to bear over the years. I bet he thinks Captain Pike is better than Kirk just because Shatner is Canadian.

          6. Tundra

            Are you high?!?

            I love Canada. I just fucking linked Triumph right up there! Rufus is my homeboy! I’m the only American who likes Crosby!

            Who’s Captain Pike?

          7. Pope Jimbo

            C’mon Tundra. “Some of my best friends are Canucks!” Really? That is what your racist ass is going with?

          8. This is as much about the election baboons fucking up the ballot by treating it like USPS treats fragile boxes.

          9. Mad Scientist

            If election officials were able to say, “It won’t scan, so too bad for you” a whole lot of ballots would mysteriously become unscannable.

      2. RAHeinlein

        I was going to ask the same question.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          I heard the procedure being described on the radio today. I kept thinking, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING???”

          At this point, no-one is even pretending.

      3. Hyperion

        I knew something was wrong, immediately, on election night when the votes were just rolling in and several elections, in FL, AZ, and GA, just suddenly stopped counting votes with 75%-95% votes in. And this continued into the next day, and the next. And I’m imagining some dems behind the scenes ‘Hey, did you find anymore boxes full of votes anywhere? Get busy and find them, we can’t hole them off much longer!’. Seriously, this shit is very suspicious.

    2. Soyboy

      Clearly they’re the ones who actually want to win.

      Yup.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Sorry for your loss, but you already have gun control. No additional gun control will save anyone else’s child from being murdered.

    Bad news, Shirley; Harry Potter is a work of fiction.

    MAGIC SPELLS DON’T WORK.

    1. AlmightyJB

      If they would ban assault weapons, handgun shootings would disappear.

      1. Gadfly

        After the Bataclan shooting in Paris, I can’t comprehend how anyone actually thinks banning assault weapons actual bans assault weapons.

        1. AlmightyJB

          What’s funny is that the left actual thought assault weapons were banned for awhile because ARs were sold without flash suppressor and bayonet lugs.

        2. Akira

          “This kind of thing doesn’t happen in other countries.”

          – Barack Obama speaking about an American mass shooting during a visit to France at some point after the Bataclan shooting

          1. dbleagle

            This week I was in company required active shooter training. I was pissed repeatedly by the bullshit spewed by the FBI agent giving the training. To wit: “mass shootings are an American phenomena” followed by a CCTV of the Paris street attack; “no idea of the weapon used” when the footage clearly shows an AKMS; “nobody knows how the Vegas shooter got the weapons to his room”; “while I can’t say you shouldn’t concealed carry you need to realize that when law enforcement arrives they will assume you are a shooter and could suffer injuries”. I was furious by the end of that hot mess.

          2. Luther Baldwin

            required active shooter training

            W
            T
            F

          3. AlmightyJB

            “when law enforcement arrives they will assume you are a shooter and could suffer injuries”

            Since I’m a better shot than 99% of law enforcement, I don’t think I’d be the one licking my wounds if they wanted to start a shoot out with me.

          4. dbleagle

            Since being struck by lightning is still more probable than being in a mass shooting incident I am waiting for the required training from a NOAA scientist.

          5. OBJ FRANKELSON

            Oy. Try being an individual trained and proficient in the use of, and with access to ‘military grade’ weapons and being told that “Run, hide, fight.” is the preferred protocol. Of course, my protocol is, two to the chest, one to the head (repeat as needed), but for some reason they think that training individuals that are inclined to, in response, apply violence in equal or greater measure to cower and piss themselves, was a good idea.

            I actually ended up providing said training to a mix of staff officers, the POGeist of POG enlisted guys, and a bunch of doe eyed GS civilians. Their eyes went a tad wider when I talked about when ‘fight’ stage comes around, ‘speed, surprise, and violence of action’ is the only thing that matters, full stop.

        3. Hyperion

          Apparently, Tijuana had like 1200 murders last year. That’s 4x as much as Baltimore’s all time record. You have to really stay busy to achieve that. So how legal are guns in Mexico?

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Its kind of “come to Jesus” song, right?

    Does it start out with, “I don’t care if it rains or freezes”?

    1. Luther Baldwin

      As long as it doesn’t end with “I’ll get down on my knees for Jesus”.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Plastic Jesus , sitting on the Dashboard of my car.

  15. Count Potato

    “Thousand Oaks Gunman’s High School Coach Speaks About Sexual Assault

    NEWBURY PARK (CBSLA) — The Thousand Oaks shooter’s high school track coach says that he assaulted her.

    “I turned on the news and I was watching it and when they said his name my jaw just dropped,” said Dominique Colell.

    “He attacked me. He attacked his high school track coach,” said Colell. “Who does that?”

    For the former Newbury Park High School track coach this day has been full of emotions — from sadness to guilt. Because she never filed charges against Long after she says he assaulted her his senior year.

    Colell says it happened during practice when someone found a phone and she was trying to figure out who it belonged to.

    “Ian came up and started screaming at me that was his phone,” said Colell. “He just started grabbing me. He groped my stomach. He groped my butt. I pushed him off me and said after that — ‘you’re off the team.’ ”

    But Colell says she was encouraged by other coaches and the school to accept an apology to not ruin his future in the Marine Corps.”

    https://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2018/11/08/thousand-oaks-gunman-high-school-coach-assault/

    TW: autoplay

    1. I’m sure the story is more complicated than that.

    2. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      So he went Acosta on her?

    3. Tonio

      So, a conspiracy by agents of the state to cover up a no-shit assault by a student, such conspiracy with the explicit aim of allowing him to receive combat and weapons training. Outstanding.

    4. Brochettaward

      I’m more interested in what people who served with him think because I’m willing to bet that there’s a number of Marines/vets who weren’t terribly surprised.

      1. Chafed

        Yeah, kind of interesting none of them have come forward to talk about him.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    “Size 28 lingerie model who was urged to KILL HERSELF by cruel trolls insists ‘most men want a plus-sized babe’”

    Men want either: women who look like prepubescent Ethiopian refugees, or women who look like Baron Harkpnnen’s big sister.

    There is no middle ground. Nothing in between.

    1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      I’m telling ya, baby, that’s not mine.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Guide to penis fillers procedure by Jame Roberto

        1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

          I don’t even know what this is! This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby.

          1. Dr. Fronkensteen

            Guide to penis filler procedures part 2 That’s my bag baby by JaimeRoberto.

    2. Lackadaisical

      Would the girlfriend though, and I wouldn’t need any fillers.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    You might take one or two bastards down with you, and then it turns from “few people beaten to death, synagogue burned” to “entire families wiped out”.

    “When the cat is at the rathole, ten thousand mice dare not come out.”

    -Sun Tzu

    1. I’ve seen this in action several times. One of my neighbors was carrying his kayak down to a local pier in the early morning hours. He had to go through a not-so-great part of town. A bunch of teenagers threatened him and tried to rob him. He dropped the kayak, grabbed the paddle, and said, “Who wants to get hit first?” They left. Turns out, nobody did. Crowd psychology is different, yes, but in the end it’s the individuals in the crowd who act. That’s how one guy with a gun can hold a bunch of people at bay.

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    I think Kimmel is crazier than Alex Jones.

    Acosta video was doctored!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPNMZLcLc2w

    1. Count Potato

      It only looks different and doesn’t have audio because it’s a gif. They did not “speed it up” or “cut the audio out”.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Now I know how Kimmel stays on TV. He has a legion of retard fans. Jesus the comments.

        And he’s a pundit now?

        1. Soyboy

          Ever meet someone IRL who brags about regularly watching all the late-night talk shows and CNN? It’s a trip. They’re so proud of themselves.

          1. Mad Scientist

            I love it when you tell someone like that, that you don’t watch that shit, and they respond with, “Well, I like to stay informed!”

          2. Akira

            “Well, I like to stay informed!”

            Sheeeeeit.

            I think if a person votes, they do have a moral obligation to at least try to keep up with current events and understand the issue, but I think someone who has zero contact with the outside world would be better informed than someone who gorges on CNN and John Oliver every night.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    As long as it doesn’t end with “I’ll get down on my knees for Jesus”.

    “Bless you, my son.”

    1. PBRstreetgang

      Whoa, don’t let the son go down on me.

    2. creech

      Wait, I thought “getting down on my knees” was a form of protest, not submission?

    3. Pope Jimbo

      Jesus is coming.
      Are you going to spit or swallow?

  20. Certified Public Asshat

    Reckoning With the First Native American Governor Being a Conservative

    He is, in a nutshell, a textbook conservative Republican in a red state. And yet, to me, and thousands of other tribal members interested in injecting long-muted Native voices into the machine of American politics, he is simultaneously a beacon of opportunity, a history-maker whose name will go down in the annals of history as the first Native governor. Those two realities are difficult to reconcile, but they exist all the same, whether I like the man’s politics or not.

    Jesus.

    1. Tundra

      Or, you know, just an American doing a job.

      These people are exhausting.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        You are just mad because they aren’t touting the fact that Minnesoda has a female native american as Lt. Gov. You are jonesing for your virtue signalling cred aren’t you?

        1. Tundra

          Lol. Is that true?

    2. wdalasio

      The newly-elected Republican governor of Oklahoma’s campaign did not garner much national attention. There was no hubbub over his candidacy, or what it meant for the Sooner State, or for Native Americans across the nation.

      Gee. I wonder why that might be?

      1. Not Adahn

        Because as Elizabeth Warren proved, everyone from Oklahoma is descended from one of two very busy Cherokee princesses?

    3. Gadfly

      No one tell that author that the first Native American Vice President of the US was also a Republican.

      1. Lackadaisical

        Weird how that keeps happening *looks at supreme court justices*

        Republicans really are the stupid party, they can’t even be racist right.

    4. Hyperion

      “He is, in a nutshell, a textbook conservative Republican in a red state.”

      Not a real Indian.

      1. dbleagle

        I believe the proper term is “apple indian”.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Over at the Atlantic, they’re worried about Mueller.

    Now that Trump has fired Sessions, those oversight responsibilities fall to his replacement, Whitaker, who has previously expressed skepticism about the scope of Mueller’s probe.

    And in that role, as Dreeben explained in court, Whitaker has significant power: While Mueller’s team is “independent on a day-to-day basis,” if the acting attorney general found anything to be “inappropriate” or “unwarranted,” he could intervene. Indeed, the special-counsel guidelines allow the acting attorney general to overrule any “investigative or procedural step” proposed by Mueller if the move is deemed “inappropriate or unwarranted under established department practices.”

    If I were Whitaker, I would call Mueller and say, “Bring me what you have, right fucking now. And you’d better have something specifically related to the original subject and scope of the investigation, or there’s going to be a problem.” Then I’d call the GAO and ask them to send a team of forensic accountants to Mueller’s office to confiscate and audit his books. But what do I know?

  22. R C Dean

    Welp, the Dems seem determined to hold the House for two years and lose the Presidential election:

    Democrats Plan to Pursue Most Aggressive Gun-Control Legislation in Decades

    I wish I had more faith in Trump’s gun rights bona fides, but I feel reasonably comfortable relying on his red-hot shooting war with the Dem House and his political cunning about his base to block anything that actually makes it to his desk. If you wanted to guarantee his re-election, I can’t think of anything better than a whole lot of crazy-ass gun control bills being worked up and voted on in the House.

    1. Sean

      This time it will work!

      FFS. Let the panic buying commence.

      1. Tundra

        You have to admit, it’s a hell of a stimulus program.

      2. Akira

        I think it’s hilarious.

        I remember reading somewhere that there were more guns sold in the 12 months after Sandy Hook than would have been sold in the next five years if the rate had held steady.

        If Democrats don’t own stock in gun companies, they should consider it!

    2. Raston Bot

      i could see Trump and the Senate giving them UBCs but not an AWB.

      1. Sean

        Which would have prevented none of the “mass shootings”.

        So, I don’t think that will even gain any traction.

      2. R C Dean

        I could see Trump vetoing every single bill that a majority of House Repubs didn’t vote for. Because he’s petty that way.

        Actually, he should just announce that’s what he is going to do. The leverage it would give House Repubs would be . . . significant.

        I feel shame for suggesting that the House Repubs should have more leverage.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I could see Trump vetoing every single bill that a majority of House Repubs didn’t vote for. Because he’s petty that way.

          I’d be dancing in the streets if he did that. Let people see what party politics gives them, good and hard.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            “I will veto every bill that isn’t presented in a classy manner, with gilded edges, a big seal that says ‘President Numbah One’ and is not delivered by a comely wench of no more than four and twenty!”

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Why are you quoting Andrew Jackson?

          3. Pan Zagloba

            Oh no, if Trump ever finds out about “he has made his decision. Now let him enforce it.” that’s GG for America!

          4. Pan Zagloba

            Also, evil dick he may have been, Andrew Jackson remains the biggest badass President who ever lived. Only man that had to be held back from his assassin instead of vice versa.

          5. Soyboy

            Wanna join my Martha and the Vandellas cover group? You can be Martha.

          6. Heroic Mulatto

            Ok.

  23. Count Potato

    “New York millennial can’t afford to move to D.C. before her job in Congress starts

    Millennial congresswomen, they’re just like us. No, really, this one is.

    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the democratic socialist and youngest woman ever elected to Congress, can’t afford to rent an apartment in Washington, D.C. before her job starts in January.

    “I have three months without a salary before I’m a member of Congress. So, how do I get an apartment?” Ocasio-Cortez, 29, told the New York Times. “We’re kind of just dealing with the logistics of it day by day, but I’ve really been just kind of squirreling away and then hoping that gets me to January.””

    https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/yw7gwg/new-york-millennial-cant-afford-to-move-to-dc-before-her-job-in-congress-starts

    1. robc

      Umm…I bet she can find a bank that will give her a loan based on her future salary.

      1. Nephilium

        Please, please, please, let her go to a payday loan place to get the cash.

        1. RegicidalManiac

          Oh God, the irony would be delicious.

    2. RBS

      She going to get a bunch of GoFundMe money and buy a house in Georgetown.

      1. R C Dean

        May not be able to, if the “gift” is measured in its entirety, rather than looking at the individual pledge amounts. I don’t know how it would actually be treated, but Congress doesn’t allow members to accept gifts of more than $50.

        1. RBS

          I don’t know how it would actually be treated, but Congress doesn’t allow members to accept gifts of more than $50.

          You’re a funny guy.

      2. Pan Zagloba

        How about a GoFundMe for Congress Democrat Caucus house, owned by the party, where they can temporarily house people coming in who can’t/won’t spend a night in the hotel?

        I’m reading Aubrey-Maturin books right now, and that’s what clubs at the time were providing as a service to the members. Could also do meetings, schmooze people, have parties…

        1. RBS

          Congress Democrat Caucus house,

          Grab its mother fucking leg.

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          ” I was slighted by a Man in cards once”

    3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      Maybe she could get a loan from Christine Blaisey Ford.

    4. The Other Kevin

      I find it very hard to believe there is not a single Democrat in DC who doesn’t have a spare room.

      1. Viking1865

        They literally can’t share the spare room unless theres a federal program mandating it.

      2. Pan Zagloba

        OK, imagine this – she becomes roomies with newly-Chadded Lindsey Graham. He’s a gentleman of old school so her honor is safe, but they have to learn to live together until she finds her own place.

        We need to get the Veep guy on this.

        1. Brochettaward

          That’s just the lead-in. By episode 3, after repeatedly hearing Lindsey cry himself to sleep in the bathroom, she sneaks in and they have a heart to heart. And suddenly the longing stares at the twink at the coffee shop and his lack of sexual interest all makes sense! She convinces him to accept himself as who he is, and the confidence allows him to finally embrace his true calling as he embraces true democratic socialism.

          It all ends with a tearful remark that he couldn’t have done it without Alexandria.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            I don’t need Veep guy for schmaltz like that!

            At the very least, have Lindsey be hopelessly unaware guy, like Tobias in Arrested Development

          2. Gustave Lytton

            “I’ve decided to become an analyst after John died. The first analyst/legislator or analator as I call it. What?”

          3. Luther Baldwin

            +1 analrapist

    5. The Last American Hero

      Shouldn’t she just pick out a nice one and walk in? Each according to their need, and all that.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I want to eat your Avatar!

        1. B.P.

          Euphemisms…

        2. Lackadaisical

          If it looks like that you might want to contact a specialist.

    6. thats unpossible

      Somebody should tell her paying for an apartment is the same as paying for medicare for all. You just pay for it, duh.

    7. Hyperion

      I’m sure that along with her free everything, you get free rent in DC.

    8. Is there something that prevents her from renting outside the city and commuting in, like half of the population of Maryland and Virginia, seemingly?

      1. westernsloper

        She’s not that smart?

      2. SoberPhobic

        Too far from the parties?

      3. Not Adahn

        What, like a peasant?

  24. Tres Cool

    Guess that state !

    1. Suthenboy

      I am not sure how to respond to that. Is she trying to wake the others up? Or is she waking up herself?

    2. Pan Zagloba

      That’s what it looks like when you don’t want to be the first to stop clapping, but still want to plead for sanity.

    3. B.P.

      She doesn’t look crazy at all.

    4. Lackadaisical

      Poor lady looks stressed and could use some relief… as my civic duty to maintain peace in America, would, but only if I gave her a fake name/number/address.

  25. Count Potato

    “PayPal is cancelling the accounts of the Proud Boys, Gavin McInnes, Atlanta Antifa, Antifa Sacramento, and the Anti-Fascist Network today, according to a source familiar w the matter.”

    https://twitter.com/blakersdozen/status/1060967090264334336

    1. Brochettaward

      Surprised they threw a few token prog agitators in there.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        It’s a progress of sorts. Not in a direction I’d like (how about leave all of them alone until they actually break laws using your service?) but better than uneven, arbitrary application we have elsewhere.

        1. Brochettaward

          Did you read the reaction posts?

          1. Pan Zagloba

            I did after you asked.

            First, you are a monster and should suffer damnation.

            Second, I’m an idiot and should suffer damnation, for doing it while not under duress.

            Third, this guy gets it:

            Call me Sceptic
            ‏ @owl_of_truth
            2h2 hours ago

            That’s because you support violence and harrasment as long as it’s done to people you disagree with.
            10 replies 1 retweet 47 likes

            Sappho Craft House
            ‏ @anfemstepdad
            2h2 hours ago

            yes who would support violence and harassment done to those one agrees with?
            2 replies 0 retweets 17 likes

            Say what you will, but I can’t find an argument against it.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      If true, that’s pretty big. I wonder if they’ll have to reverse the attitude if it gets out (and is true).

  26. Count Potato

    “Women are now the little children of campus, consid unable to make decisions for selves. Decisions, unwitnessed/unnotarized, are worthless. Campus consultant: “If you go in somebody’s dorm room and she touches you, and places your penis in her mouth, she has not conveyed consent””

    https://twitter.com/amyalkon/status/1060525840667004929

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      The old puritans were more fun to ignore than these weirdos.

    2. Don Escaped Texas

      Sounds like Jessica in Accounting will be safe this year.

      The savings will just be funneled into even larger bonus checks this year said no one at any firm whatsoever.

      1. creech

        I’ll bet fellow Glibs have some really good company Xmas party stories. I’ll tell one: wife of an executive at large meat packer in Madison, WI, came in few days later and fired a shotgun into the ceiling of her hubby’s office. Seems he didn’t leave his door closed when he was kanoodling with his secretary at the office party.

        1. commodious spittoon

          But it wasn’t the ceiling who diddled the secretary!

          Several years ago a coworker (early 20s) danced with our very attractive assistant manager (early 40s) and nearly got into a fist-fight with her fiancee.

    3. B.P.

      The Aziz Ansari rule.

    4. one true athena

      What’s the Paglia quote? Something like “nowadays adults are children, children are infants, and fetuses are garbage”.

      1. Lackadaisical

        and fetuses are garbage”.

        Thats sad.

        My feriner wifey keeps asking why all the women (and most the men) here act like they’re children. *shrugs*

  27. Raven Nation

    How ’bout some Friday afternoon blues: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWLAAzOBoBI

    1. Tundra

      Wow.

      And Jimmy Walker introducing him. Very nice, Raven!

    2. Tres Cool

      Dyn-o-Mite !

        1. B.P.

          I’ve always enjoyed this.

  28. Count Potato

    “VIDEO: Thousands of supporters of Islamist parties take to the streets of Karachi to protest Asia Bibi’s acquittal and call for her beheading. Bibi, a Pakistani Christian woman who spent eight years on death row for blasphemy was freed from jail”

    https://twitter.com/AFP/status/1060932528821989376

    Yogurt is a more civilized culture.

    1. Brochettaward

      I’ll never forget joining the military and meeting rednecks who came from places so remote that they had never even had yogurt.

      When you’re going to fight those people, those are the guys you want on your side.

    2. R C Dean

      I think I saw that Pakistan is prohibiting her from leaving the country. No reason to do that unless they plan to kill her anyway.

      1. RegicidalManiac

        Or they’re waiting for a mob to do the killing for them.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Bingo!

    3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      Trump should offer her asylum.

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      Vallabhbhai Patel was instrumental in convincing India to let Pakistan break off and form its own country.

      Seventy years later,they built this in his honor.

    5. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Stay classy, Pakistanis

  29. Tres Cool

    Flathead Valley Montana crime update !

    1. tarran

      10:01 a.m. A Coram man reported finding a table saw on the side of the highway. He wanted to know if anyone is missing a table saw and, if not, if he could take the one he found.

      4:09 p.m. A Coram man reported that his table saw had gone missing.

      I swear that every small town newspaper has someone with a sense of humor doing the police log.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Campus consultant: “If you go in somebody’s dorm room and she touches you, and places your penis in her mouth, she has not conveyed consent”

    That depends. Who’s holding the gun?

    1. Tundra

      Lol. Awesome.

    2. FOS

      Is swallowing evidence of consent?

  31. The Late P Brooks

    who would support violence and harassment done to those one agrees with?

    Check

    and

    mate,

    Mate!

    1. tarran

      Yep, the house of cards fell like dominoes after that one.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Bullseye.

  32. FOS

    To me, a curvy woman is Marilyn Monroe.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Petite She was, but the curves……

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I hate the way they accentuated the Tummies back then, the Belt fucks up the look

          1. Belts only continue to fuck up the look nowadays, too, imo.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Agreed, Hi Riven!

          3. BakedPenguin

            Yusef & Riven nailed it. But damn, that was a hot woman.

          1. Game, set, match.

  33. Tres Cool

    Glibs in asia? Keep looking down, and please stay safe .

    1. westernsloper

      I always worried about that when I pissed in a jungle back in the day. Fear of a python seeing Mr BoDangle as a threat to their territory IYTWIM. I never got bit though and always checked toilets and always looked between my legs when dropping a deuce. I heard stories of bush camp plumbing being infested with snakes when there was plumbing.

      1. Tres Cool

        +1 Alabama King Snake

        1. dbleagle

          Glibs in the Southwest be careful in outhouses as well. A Blackwidow bite on a bit while sitting is no fun.

          I always thought it was a “rural legend” till one memorable weekend party in college when a male friend got bit on his testes a couple of hours after a female friend got a dry bite from a rattlesnake on her Teva clad foot.

        2. KSuellington

          I once sat on a toilet in Latin America and heard something that gave me pause. I stood up and watched as something was moving between the logs in the bowl. Sure enough a huge frog, the size of a Nerf football jumped out and sat for a minute on the seat before hopping around my room. I got a broomstick and started chasing him around and he started bubbling white ooze from his back. Finally got the Latin American Shit Frog out my room. He left a trail of ooze and shit. I will never quite feel comfortable again on a toilet.

          1. westernsloper

            That is an awesome story. I hope you took pictures of the shit frog. I worked with a lot of guys who did safaris in S Africa so was warned of snakes in the shitter if it was plumbed to a septic tank/pool. We usually had a long drop that was not deep enough though when I worked on that continent. We all kept a t-shirt to change into before taking a dump because whatever you wore in there would smell like shit for an hour. Changing shirts was just the polite thing to do,

          2. Akira

            I fucking hate outhouses. Sometimes I have to take a shit when I’m jogging, and I’d seriously rather go off the path and shit on the ground than use an outhouse.

          3. Fourscore

            A number of years ago I was doing my business on the terlet when I heard a strange noise below me. I checked, nothing unusual, kept hearing the strange noise, checked again, finished the job and paper work, went about my normal chores. Sometime later I went into the adjoining bathroom, saw something trying to crawl out of the commode. Got a broom handle and pushed it underwater until the bubbles stopped, found a fox squirrel had somehow fallen down the vent. Then I got the shakes, thinking if it had come up on my side a little earlier I’d probably had a heart attack.

          4. KSuellington

            Há! Yeah, this wasn’t even in an outhouse, it was a beat up pension in a rural town.

          5. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption

            Latin American Shit Frog

            Really?? Is no one going to say the obvious?

  34. Pan Zagloba

    So I looked up to see how Election Canada handles the ballot because, come on, Florida.

    The deputy returning officer [after checklist, which includes separating spoiled ballots] empties the contents of the ballot box onto a table to proceed with the count.

    During the count, the deputy returning officer examines each ballot, shows it to each person present and asks the poll clerk to tally the vote in favour of the candidate for whom the vote was cast. The poll clerk (along with any of the candidates or their representatives who also wish to do so) keeps a tally of the votes for each candidate.

    The deputy returning officer must reject ballots that were not supplied by him or her, were improperly marked (including those voided by the elector), were cast for a person other than a candidate, or on which there is any writing or mark by which the elector could be identified.

    The deputy returning officer keeps a record of every objection to a ballot made by any candidates or their representatives, gives a number to that objection, writes that number on the ballot and initials it. The decision of the deputy returning officer is subject to reversal only by a judge on a judicial recount or on an application to contest the election.

    To be fair, counting is a lot easier and faster up here, because federal elections are held separately from municipal/provincial ones, so all you have is one ballot with a list of candidates, of which you select one. But it seems a lot stricter.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    To me, a curvy woman is Marilyn Monroe.

    If you mean “young Marilyn Monroe” I heartily concur. She got pretty pudgy.

    1. KSuellington

      Just watched that last week with the wife and we both very much enjoyed it. Neither of us had seen that one before.

    2. C. Anacreon

      I used to have that picture as a poster on my dorm room wall way back in college in 1979.

  36. Not an Economist

    Florida Man has competition from Florida Women.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Their disliking for each began two weeks ago when they disagreed about parenting.

      S H O C K E D
      H
      O
      C
      K
      E
      D

    2. Mad Scientist

      That these two had an argument over parenting means a whole lot of men are ignoring the first rule of sticking it in crazy.

    3. RBS

      Would

    4. Florida Man

      I like her buck/doe heart tattoo

      1. AlmightyJB

        She has a purty mouth.

  37. Tres Cool

    Leah Stanley, Size 28 model from up the thread?
    She’s what I’d call a ‘waif’

    1. Soyboy

      She’s not quite up to my standards. I need a woman’s curves’ curves to have curves, at the very least. She need be not just curvy, but corrugated.

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      That’s a waif you park at your wharf.

      1. Tres Cool

        Chics ahoy!

        1. Luther Baldwin

          Yes, Chips Ahoy may have something to do with this story.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Chunks Ahoy! even.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Why not Chunky Chips Ahoy! they make em….

          3. Pan Zagloba

            Aw, did they rename them? I remember buying Chunks Ahoy! ages ago…

          4. Sir Digby’s Contrabulous Faptraption
  38. Don Escaped Texas

    I can’t tell what’s going on, but it looks like Pennsylvania is after Gab

    “I struggle to see a legit basis for this,” said Ken White, a First Amendment attorney and the proprietor of the popular Popehat blog. Seeking information about Gab’s DNS provider “doesn’t make any sense at all,” legal scholar Eric Goldman told us.

  39. AlmightyJB

    I’m not sure what’s up with Trump and Pelosi playing nice but that’s worrisome. I prefer gridlock.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      I’m not sure what’s up with Trump and Pelosi playing nice

      No fuck like hate fuck.

      1. AlmightyJB

        When I was young I dated this girl for a very short time. She would get super pissed about stuff like yelling pissed and then right after she was was ready to go. Too much drama for me.

    2. Spudalicious

      So later on he can say, “hey, I tried”.

  40. Pan Zagloba

    This is some Trailer Park Boys shit

    Judge calls Toronto cop who ate cannabis chocolate on duty a ‘complete idiot’

    A Toronto police officer who ate a marijuana-laced chocolate bar seized in a pot shop raid has pleaded guilty to attempting to obstruct justice.

    Const. Vittorio Dominelli says he is remorseful and ashamed of his actions on the evening of Jan. 27.

    Justice Mary Misener says Dominelli is a “complete idiot” for tampering with evidence.

    Crown attorney Philip Perlmutter, who read out an agreed statement of facts in court, says Dominelli took three hazelnut chocolate bars infused with cannabis oil from the raid.

    Perlmutter says Dominelli and another officer later ate one chocolate bar and became intoxicated in about 20 minutes, and eventually radioed for help.

    1. Brochettaward

      What a bunch of pussies.

    2. Florida Man

      Yeah. Everybody knows you plant evidence, not destroy it.

  41. Too busy to post lately…but another alcohol question….seeing some nice-looking eggnog mixes in the stores lately. I’m too much of a lazy bastard to try making something super custom – but I think I’d like to use soju this year – any recipe recommendations or just choose one and mix it in regardless of liquor? Or has someone tried that combo before with negative results?

    1. Florida Man

      Step 1. Pour bourbon in a glass

      Step 2. Put eggnog in refrigerator

      Step 3. Drink bourbon

    2. Tundra

      I haven’t the faintest idea why I bookmarked this, but here you go!

    3. Akira

      I think just about any brown liquor except tequila will work (and hey, I’ve never tried it, so I’m not 100 percent on that).

      I’ve been having a glass of eggnog mixed with Cognac as sort of a dessert drink. Very tasty.

      1. dbleagle

        Look in the recipes of this website. I submitted a recipe for aged nog that is out of this world. I forget which mythical libertarian woman vouched for it.

    4. Well I was hoping for something specific to soju – I was under the impression that any clear liquor would work. Still haven’t experimented much with whiskey, etc since getting into beer a few years ago. In college/army/navy I was mostly into vodka type mixed drinks – got into soju when I was in Korea and still find it’s worth keeping a couple bottles around since it does mesh pretty well with most stuff. Just want to avoid any issues mixing it with dairy like I’ve read for some stuff (ie. gorilla snot, etc).

      1. Florida Man

        Cognac, dark rum and bourbon are traditional. Also common is to pick two and do a 1/2 of each. I experimented one year and I believe cognac & rum was my favorite.

        1. Hmmm, could probably get some Captain Morgan at the ABC store pretty cheap the same time I pick up some soju.

          1. Florida Man

            You never go wrong with more booze.

        2. AlmightyJB

          Yeah, I agree rum and bourbon are good choices. Don’t waste the good stuff though.

  42. Another quick note – next movie review should be out by tomorrow night or Sunday at the latest – one of my all-time favorites (and weirdest). In the meantime – Muse has just put out their newest album today (waiting to get the CD myself), but the entire album is up on youtube – and it looks like they’ve turned it into essentially a concept piece – best of all, some solid vids for just about every single track (starting with the singles they put out almost a year ago). Nice work. A bit more retro electronic, but a good mix between tracks.

    Oh…and I’m kicking myself that I didn’t find this video in time for Halloween (even this year would have been great…but I’ve apparently missed it for 4 years).

    1. Don’t kick yourself I couldn’t find that video either.

    2. westernsloper

      I have that video on a shelf somewhere around here.

  43. Spudalicious

    Chili simmering on the stove, cornbread will go into the oven in a bit, frozen mug of lager with a Don Julio Reposado kicker sitting next to me. Good start to this Friday evening. I should be nice and toasty by the time Fresno State at Boise kicks off at 8:15.

    1. Florida Man

      Not to be that guy, but you shouldn’t freeze your mugs. You get more flavor from a room temp glass.

      1. Brochettaward

        This is one reason everyone hates hipsters.

        1. Florida Man

          Because they make food/drink taste better?

      2. commodious spittoon

        That’s why I drink Keystone from frozen mugs.

        1. Florida Man

          That’s why bars freeze mugs. It hides the flavor of inferior beer.

          1. westernsloper

            YOUR’E INFERIOR

            – cheap beer drinker

          2. Florida Man

            *request not to get westernsloper in BiF*

          3. westernsloper

            *sends FM a Black Label

          4. Not Adahn

            Writing up your beers now!

          5. Florida Man

            Awesome. I hope you enjoyed them.

          6. Yusef drives a Kia

            This, just keep those Ale glasses Real Clean

      3. Spudalicious

        This is true. It took me an hour to put the chili together, so I wanted the first beer to have slushy foam.

        1. Florida Man

          You do you, brother. No wrong way to enjoy life.

          1. Spudalicious

            Absolutely.

      4. Nephilium

        It also depends on the beer. Light lagers and such are generally served cold. A good rich stout on the other hand, needs to warm up to really bring the flavor.

        /currently sipping this one

        1. Spudalicious

          Stouts and such go into a 12oz wine glass filled 1/3-1/2 full.

          1. kinnath

            14 oz Belgian tulip

    1. Florida Man

      Holy shit, that is legit scary.

      1. KSuellington

        C

        1. KSuellington

          Don’t know what happened there. I’m 200 miles away from that fire and SF looks like it’s been having a solar eclipse all day. Super spooky. You can hardly see the shitpiles on the streets. The air is really, really thick with smoke. Just got inside and it feels like I smoked a pack of cigs today. Time for multiple cocktails ?.

          1. Florida Man

            I thought you were saying “yes” in Spanish.

          2. KSuellington

            Si, es muy espantoso.

            Luckily my buddy up there is still safe and it isn’t moving in his direction.

          3. commodious spittoon

            Is “espantoso” Spanish for pantsless?

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            It’s actually Spanish for “ligma”.

    2. Well, I made the mistake of reading the comments. Bunch of militant atheists “well aycktually”ing because the lady dared to utter “thank God” at the end of the video.

      1. Florida Man

        Ugh. I hate evangelical atheist.

        1. Jarflax

          Pray for them. (no seriously, it is the perfect troll because for those of us who are nonbelievers but in no wise militant the response will be a shrug and a thanks)

    3. Spudalicious

      I learned this today. When you turn a video into a GIF, it automatically removes frames, making it look like the video was doctored.

  44. BakedPenguin

    I had to share this. The “single” off of the first album I ever got, , subtitled in Spanish. I still dig the Ramones, 40 years later.

    1. Raven Nation

      Completely unrelated but of interest:

      ” MELBOURNE

      Burning question: Will 2019 be the club’s drought-breaking premiership year?

      HOLD on to your horses, ladies and gentlemen, because Melbourne is a deadset premiership contender in 2019. After making a preliminary final, Simon Goodwin’s side broke through their finals hoodoo and the next stop is flag time. It has been 54 long years since the Demons were premiers. And with Steven May and Jake Lever (ACL) set to bolster the club’s backline things are looking rather rosy.”

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Wut?

        1. Luther Baldwin

          Footy talk.

      2. BakedPenguin

        Not surprising: but Let’s see if The Demons can deliver. Myhope’s on the boys. GOO DEEEEES!

        And goddamn, I wish ESPN showed Aussie cracka for “free” like they used to. Watcha gonna do.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      If only the GOP had held the house, Streisand would have moved to Canada and she would be safe now,

  45. I need to revisit my occasional habit of reading up on the namesakes our ships. Somehow I never came across James E. Williams entry before. Wow. This kinda thing always blows my mind.

    On Halloween, Oct. 31, 1966, Williams was commanding a two-boat patrol on the Mekong River when he was fired on by two sampans. He and his crew killed the occupants of one and then went after the other. That pursuit put the Navy boats into a VC staging area containing two junks and eight sampans, supported by machine guns on the river banks. Williams called for helicopter gunship support while holding the enemy at bay. During this movement he discovered an even larger force. Not waiting for the armed helicopters, Williams attacked. Maneuvering through devastating fire from enemy boats and the shore, his two-boat patrol fought a three-hour battle that destroyed or damaged 65 VC boats and eliminated some 1,200 Communist troops. For his actions, Williams was nominated for the Medal of Honor.

    Speaking of vets. I’m not one to pass up free food. This list looks pretty good. Already planning on hitting up my buddy’s place in Fredericksburg since he’ll have free sandwiches…and I really want to try his duck wings (apparently larger than normal ones – and drummettes only this time – Gourmeltz – tweeted about it before).

    1. westernsloper

      Damn. That was some river fight.

      1. His whole Vietnam career (at the link) is insanely impressive for an E-6 (aka SSG) – wiki sounds like he was promoted to BMC in an honorary position post retirement.

  46. Hyperion

    Something really funny that happened yesterday during the final FO76 beta. I didn’t know about it, although I was online at that time, but who knows what sever these kids were on. Anyway, some younger players, teens from the looks of them, found an actual nuke right before the servers went down for the final beta session and were able to put in the launch codes. Nuked an entire town. Now some are not very happy about the idea that people can actually find and launch full scale nukes during the game. That could make for a really bad gameplay day for some. Party poopers.

    1. Not Adahn

      I really hate griefers. Like really, REALLY hate them

      1. Hyperion

        And you haven’t had one nuke your entire town yet.

      2. How much snow did you get?

        1. Not Adahn

          a little under two inches on my trash can when I got home. Still falling.

    2. Hyperion

      Totally silly, but I can’t stop laughing. I’m demented I spose.

      NUKE!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        that was cool,

      1. Hyperion

        Not sure what server I was on when that happened, but I didn’t see anything. About that time I was being chased by giant fire throwing crabs. That was the funnest part of the game for me to that point, despite being on fire, and they shut down the beta. Bummer.

    3. Jarflax

      I’m on UCS’s side on this a Fallout MMO is an abomination that I pray flops. Dear Bethesda, you got very rich selling me games where I can become a godlike figure running around killing and looting, and experiencing your nifty sideplots as I please. Why have you abandoned this in favor of the world of MMO griefing?

      1. Luther Baldwin

        $$?

        1. commodious spittoon

          With reused assets, too. I don’t really blame them, I just wish they’d marketed it as Fortnight (or PUBG or whatever) in the Fallout universe. And I hope they’re working on FO5.

          1. commodious spittoon

            In fact FOPUBG seems like a much better idea for the sort of game they’re trying to sell. What’s the point of a persistent RPG world if it’s all sandbox, no crucial plot choices, and constantly getting harassed by other players? Should have dispensed with all the RPG vestiges and just made it a big open-world timed death match.

          2. Jarflax

            If it really is a side effort wonderful, but I am always skeptical about that claim. I tend to think it’s more “Well let’s see if this flies and if it does, screw writing thousands of pages of side stories and questlines, we’ll just release expensive, but low content expacs for our cool MMO”

          3. commodious spittoon

            I love FO4. I know I shouldn’t, it’s like loving milk chocolate, all cheap, empty calories, but I still enjoy it. The progression cycle hits my pleasure buttons just right. Nothing like clomping back to base in my power armor and depositing another several hundred pounds of junk into the work bench. Or opening up on a super mutant with a gatling laser. And it’s been long enough since my first play through that I’ve mostly forgotten the particulars and vignettes of the commonwealth. So it’s grabbed me good and hard for the last couple weeks. But I doubt I’ll play 76 with nearly as much gusto, if at all. And there’s a good deal of shit I wish they’d cut from FO4 in favor of the stuff that worked. Half the settlements, for example, could and should have been cut. Many are just stupidly close together. The settlement system could have been beefed up a great deal, for that matter. Ditto the companions: fewer, deeper interactions. I have Danse telling me his life story after like a day and a half of traveling together, with an option for my straight, widower character to flirt with him. WTF? And some of the plot points needed to be rethought (Dogmeat tracking Kellogg is just stupid). And the legendary system is stupid RNG. Thanks for the Wounding Tire Iron. I’ll vendor that for another Fusion Core. Which aren’t rare in the slightest.

          4. commodious spittoon

            I TAKE IT BACK. THIS GAME SUCKS.

  47. straffinrun

    Everyone knows that extremely traumatic events are just what the mind needs to think objectively.

    1. straffinrun

      I understand that many people are dipshits and may have not filled out the ballot exactly right, but how would you not know how many were cast? What a shitshow.

      1. westernsloper

        Oh it is fucking incredible but does show the dishonesty of those who say they are trying to stop the vote counting and all that. If you are partisan enough to cover for what is going on in Broward county you have zero credibility and are dishonest. Shit, every county in the country can tell you how many votes were cast a few hours after the election except Broward. Bull shit. She doesn’t know how many ballots they have in boxes and if she gives a wrong number it will look fraudulent which it is.

        The only thing that should change a ballot count is overseas ballots coming in, the deadline of which is tomorrow from what I read.

        1. creech

          Frigging amatuers. LBJ apparently won his very first election when the last 93 voters of the day signed the register in green ink, in the same handwriting, and in alphabetical order. It was a Democrat primary and apparently the “powers that be” decided the incumbent’s time was up.

          1. westernsloper

            What I learned today was the criminal running Broward elections threw out the ballots prior to requests to review the ballots the last Debbie Wschultz’s primary. That woman is no amateur.

          2. l0b0t

            To be fair, Claude Pepper was winning fraudulent elections in Florida before either of those women were born.

          3. Winston

            And thanks to segregation the Democratic primary was essentially the election back then. Though I believe the Texan Republicans did actually run candidates who did very poorly (except against Ma Ferguson) unlike the Deep South.

          4. Winston

            I am amused at how the fact that FDR, JFK, LBJ, Carter and the Clintons all benefited from segregation since it destroyed the state Republican parties in the South but who cares…

  48. CPRM

    No PM thread? WTI on ANTIFA

    1. straffinrun

      We can bring it back to life. “Don’t you die on me!” *Bangs on chest*

  49. Tres Cool

    Ya’all should be faded by now anyhow, so why not ?

    1. CPRM

      Meh, This is more my style when I’m not listening to rock.

      1. Tres Cool

        the word “swallow” reminded me of this gem

  50. Tulip

    I made spaghetti carbonara (CARBS with BACON) and discovered that Netflix has Gilmore Girls. My weekend is made!

    1. westernsloper

      Damn that sounds good. The carbonara, not the Gilmore Girls.

    2. Bacon? uffda! get some pancetta. And please tell me you don’t use cream.

      1. westernsloper

        You need to change your name to the Carbonazi.

      2. Tulip

        I did add cream. It was delicious!

        1. Jarflax

          Carbonara is better with cream. Ignore some people make a big deal out of every little thing.

          1. westernsloper

            You could serve butter, cream, parmigiano/ramano/asiago cheese and bacon in an old shoe and it would be delicious.

          2. That’s just alfredo sauce with bacon, not carbonara.

          3. Carbonara done properly cannot be improved by adding cream.

    3. RAHeinlein

      +1 Year in the Life.

      1. Tulip

        I know right?! I need some cocoa and Bailey’s Irish Cream.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Bailey’s already has chocolate added. Why add cocoa?

          1. Tulip

            Never too much chocolate

          2. Nephilium

            It is possible, especially if it’s milk chocolate (but I trust you have better taste then that). Although, as a counterpoint to Bailey’s, if you’re looking for a sweet, slightly alcoholic thing to add to hot beverages, you could go with Bourbon Cream. I’ll stick with hot toddies/Irish coffee if I want a hot beverage, and whisk(e)y or beer if I don’t.

      1. Luther Baldwin

        Popover assault – I will never visit your site ever again. kthxbai

      2. Tulip

        OMG! They deliver! Squee!!!!

  51. straffinrun

    https://japantoday.com/category/entertainment/tv-asahi-cancels-performance-of-k-pop-group-bts-over-a-bomb-shirt

    The design, which went viral and drew flak in Japan, includes a photo of Koreans celebrating liberation and a photo of an atomic bomb exploding in Japan.

    1. CPRM

      Outrage articles that don’t show what the outrage is about outrage me.

    2. Jarflax

      That’s ok, the bomber that dropped the bomb probably drew flak in Japan as well.

      1. straffinrun

        That made my hair fallout.

        1. Spudalicious

          Any response I had went up in a mushroom cloud.

          1. SoberPhobic

            Rad man

          2. Gustave Lytton

            How long before this collection of puns reaches critical mass?

          3. Jarflax

            It has already started a chain reaction.

      2. Spudalicious

        *golf clap*

      3. Winston

        *pedant alert*

        I believe the Nagasaki bomber did get some flak the Hiroshima bomber did not.

        1. Jarflax

          That is so Gay

          1. Enola, right?

  52. Viking1865

    So we had an extra wedding invitation hanging around after sending them all off, so we added Donald and Melania and sent it off to 1600 Penn. They didn’t show, but some staffer sent us a nice note of congratulations that was robo signed. Was hoping for a check from The Donald, or maybe a 50% off coupon to a Trump Hotel, but nothing.

    1. CPRM

      Fail. You should have made it out Donald and MAGA Supreme.

      1. Chipping Pioneer

        Not the Hat and the Hair?

        1. CPRM

          MAGA Supreme is the Hat, and Donald doesn’t appear in public without the Hair, so no need for an extra invite.

    2. Luther Baldwin

      I’m surprised they didn’t send you a visit from a nice FBI agent. Well done.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Though six Browns linebackers showed up, looking confused.

      1. Nephilium

        And then were called out for a false start.

        1. Viking1865

          I’d be incredibly impressed by a linebacker getting flagged for a false start.

          1. Chipping Pioneer

            It’s the Browns. They could do it.

    4. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      Worse than Hitler.

  53. straffinrun

    Damn. That male privilege is some harsh stuff.
    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12156071

    1. Luther Baldwin

      Ugh… I’m getting pleasantly woozy on wine. I don’t have the stomach for that right now.

      1. straffinrun

        TL;DR, state takes a kid in a terrible situation and manages to place him in an even worse situation.

        1. Luther Baldwin

          Oh, I read far enough to get some of the depressing details.

  54. Jarflax

    This whole phenomenon of online sellers desperately begging for reviews annoys me. Tonight I gave in:

    5.0 out of 5 starsIt is wire in a frame with a crisscross patter
    November 9, 2018
    Material: Stainless SteelVerified Purchase
    This amazing product does not slice it does not dice! It magically separates solids from liquids. For example one can boil pasta in a pot and then by simply dumping the resultant mixture through this fine product obtain pasta that is NOT immersed in boiling water! Think of the agonizing mouth scalds this can avoid! And the massive gain in flavor from no longer having one’s marinara diluted by 6 quarts of water!

    But that is not all! It not only allows you to retain solids while discarding liquids, it even allows (with the addition of a bowl which is sold separately) you to discard the unwanted solids and retain the liquid! No longer will you have to spit out chicken bones when you make stock!

    When the seller contacted me (3 times) requesting a detailed product review I was honored. This miraculous new technology really needs detailed reviews to explain it’s novel features to the many, many people who are unfamiliar with seivetech!

    1. CPRM

      Works great as a hat too!

    2. Luther Baldwin

      Meow.

      I think in those cases the review is more about getting your shit in a timely manner and as described.

      1. Jarflax

        Nope, I left that review on day 1 after the first request. They then started emailing me begging for a product review hence the above.

        1. Luther Baldwin

          Oh. Well… snark away, then!

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        Anything less than 5 stars counts as negative, per a few Ebay sellers I spoke with

        1. Jarflax

          I am sure it does. I know I frequently choose between identical appearing products based on average stars. I even get asking for a review. It is the multiple emails in a short time frame that annoy me, and seem kind of risky since if I had some minor issue with the purchase I probably won’t make a point to trash it in a review, but if they nag me and there is something I wasn’t happy about I’m sure going to post it.

    3. Akira

      For example one can boil pasta in a pot and then by simply dumping the resultant mixture through this fine product obtain pasta that is NOT immersed in boiling water! Think of the agonizing mouth scalds this can avoid! And the massive gain in flavor from no longer having one’s marinara diluted by 6 quarts of water!

      OK, even if these people have somehow never heard of a $10 collander that you can find in any supermarket housewares aisle, why don’t they just tilt the pot slightly and pour the water out? Were they just eating pasta that is swimming in hot water as if there’s no way around it?

      1. straffinrun

        The joke may have slid through your fingers.

        1. Akira

          Hahaha goddamn, I guess it did.

          That’s what I get for my habit of skimming over the posts really quickly instead of reading each line carefully.

      2. Jarflax

        And Akira out pedants Winston from above. Maybe they are Thai and think noodles are supposed to be served in soup?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I would snap a 80-year-old woman’s neck for a good bowl of boat noodles right about now.

  55. Winston

    https://www.google.ca/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/nov/07/idris-elba-macho-sexiest-man-alive-people-magazine

    In another sense, Elba fits squarely into an amusing pattern that People has been building up over the years, which sees them plump for decidedly masculine, established, patriarchal figures. The award, in other words, is relentlessly straight: this makes it feel weirdly detached from contemporary public discourse, which has clearly cross-pollinated with queer culture where the attractiveness of men is concerned.

    https://mobile.twitter.com/CasparSalmon/status/1060466218300334080

    1. Viking1865

      which has clearly cross-pollinated with queer culture where the attractiveness of men is concerned.

      Uh is he arguing that gay men do not, as a general group, find Idris Elba attractive?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I think He’s good looking, and I’m a Cis Het Shitlord!

      2. Luther Baldwin

        I honestly have no fucking idea what this article is saying. I will say that while, sure, he’s reasonably attractive, I don’t get the universal swooning over him. If we were gonna racism this shit up, I could append a laundry list of black men I find more attractive.

        But TL;DR my main takeaway is that OMG heterosexual females outnumber gay males would you believe it!

        1. Chipwooder

          Taye Diggs is my wife’s black dreamboat

          1. Luther Baldwin

            Grew up in Ra-cha-cha – how did I miss him?

            Yeah he kind of throws the curve.

          2. CPRM

            Hell, Taye Diggs is my black guy dreamboat. Your wife has good taste.

    2. Tulip

      JFC, there are days when I really hate those people. They are harshing my Gilmore Girls excitement.

    3. Jarflax

      I would pay someone to hack this next year and make the sexiest man winner be a male to female transexual. Watching these people try to figure out if the wokeness of the them winning was more positive than the evil of miss-gendering them was negative. Bonus points if it’s Blair White.

    4. Luther Baldwin

      …”The Rock” is a man of color? Huh.

      1. Winston

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwayne_Johnson

        Johnson’s father is a Black Canadian (Nova Scotian), and also has a small amount of Irish ancestry.[26] His mother is from a Samoan family.

      2. CPRM

        Samoan, so it depends if he supports things the left likes, like the way some asians or hispanics are white and some asians or hispanics are not depending on political stance.

        1. Luther Baldwin

          He doesn’t seem to be political at all, then again I don’t pay much attention to him or the composition of his family tree.

          1. CPRM

            I don’t know much about his politics, but people went gaga that he might run for president, but the only time I knew of him being involved in politics is when Vince McMahon had him speak at a GOP convention. But leftist seem to be convinced he’s one of them, so I don’t know.

          2. Brochettaward

            He was a registered Republican. But then after Trump, some people floated the idea of him running and the left grabbed hold of it. He floated the idea.

            I’d like to think McMahon is behind it all. And that the end game is a match at Wrestlemania 36.

    5. Brochettaward

      Not one comment on the apology tweet a day later?

      If there’s one thing you don’t do on the left, it’s criticize Obama.

      Right after that, criticize Michelle.

      And then? Idris Elba.

      1. Luther Baldwin

        I didn’t see it. And then I saw it was a Twitter link and ignored it.

    6. Winston

      I’ll be honest that I don’t want Idris Elba to be Bond. Too old and I’m not awaiting the inevitable “only a racist would not like this movie” and “OMG this Franchise Movie is the Most Important And Woke Thing Ever” stuff from the press.

      1. Luther Baldwin

        It’s either him or a woman at this point.

        1. Winston

          Funny that turning Bond into a woman was on the first ideas for a Bond Movie. Apparently when Casino Royale was first attempted to be filmed in the 1950s one of the ideas was to turn it into a Susan Hayward since the Producer Gregory Ratoff (who often played producers on film like All about Eve) thought Bond was a stupid character. The other producer created The Wild Wild West by the way.

          1. l0b0t

            The first Casino Royale is, far and away, my favorite Bond film – Herb Alpert and Burt Bacharach on the soundtrack, David Niven and Woody Allen as Bond, Peter Sellers ’nuff said.

          2. l0b0t

            “‘We’ll get Susie Hayward! I fucked her when she was a $75-a-week actress, so she owes me one!’ “

            So not woke, so problematic.

        2. CPRM

          I think Idris Elba should be forced to transition, because it’s what the world needs.

      2. kinnath

        Elba would be great. The movie would be shit, because “woke”.

      3. commodious spittoon

        If it’s something simple and relatively staid like Casino Royale or the better parts of Skyfall, for sure.

        But it’ll be overcomplicated, dumb, and entirely forgettable, and much like Ghostbusters 2016, the fact that the producers insisted on making something overcomplicated, dumb, and forgettable will be blamed on the misogynist racist audience too backward to appreciate the brilliance of cinema.

  56. Winston

    The Fourteen Points were not abstract “idealism” or charity, but reflected canny assumptions, that:

    Yankee ingenuity would flourish best in a rules-based, open world without closed economic empires;
    The United States’ interests would advance with democracy and the rule of law;
    The United States would prosper when other nations did as well, and thus;
    The United States could make the world a better place and get rich in the process.

    ….

    The narrow view of US purposes in the world—usually called isolationism—was responsible for US withdrawal from European and world leadership, which left the field open for dictators and another world war. In the wake of that disaster, the United States returned to its Grand Strategy. After 1945, the United States put it to work in the part of Europe still free to rebuild and strengthen the Western democracies. After 1989, the United States extended the institutions of the Free World throughout Europe. Since the end of World War II, the West and much of the world have enjoyed the longest period of great power peace in history, with unprecedented prosperity and democracy.

    But sovereignty and the nation are not absolute. They are qualified by responsibility before higher values. The Declaration of Independence makes that clear. Values are no luxury or artifice. As Abraham Lincoln observed, the American nation exists through common values rather than common blood. Thus, we support, in our better moments, a rules-based international order reflecting these common values. The alternative—indifference to values and deference to power—was tried and found wanting. Happily, we also learned that a rules-based world can work for our bottom line. The foundation of the American Grand Strategy remains valid.

    http://www.atlanticcouncil.org/blogs/new-atlanticist/one-hundred-years-of-american-grand-strategy

    1. westernsloper

      They are indeed beyond parody.

    2. straffinrun

      That’s real? Team blue is admitting their base is filled with dipshits.

      1. Brochettaward

        I looked it up first to make sure. Yes, it’s real. Since deleted (I can only imagine why), but very real.

  57. Winston

    And here’s Sheldon Derpman on the other side:

    https://original.antiwar.com/srichman/2018/10/31/lets-stop-the-merchants-of-death/

    The upshot is that Lockheed Martin, Raytheon, Northrup Grumman, and others should not be regarded as private enterprises deserving of respect from advocates of freed markets. And so it follows that those advocates should not bridle at, say, congressional restrictions on to whom the contractors may sell. US law pays lip service to the principle that American-made weapons should not be transferred to governments that are likely to use them aggressively, whether internally or externally. That principle, of course, is more honored in the breach than in the observance, and it would be nice if such hypocrisy would at last come to an end.

    And how does this compare to the censorious Big Tech?

    1. Jarflax

      TOS is basically Mother Jones these days.

      1. Winston

        This is antiwar.com. Has Reason published this article?

        1. Jarflax

          Ooops, teach me to comment without clicking…

          But I think the point still holds true. Reason sounds like the 1970s counterculture more than it sounds like libertarianism these days.

          1. Winston

            Reason was always a 1970s counterculture thing though wasn’t it?

          2. Jarflax

            Previously it opposed the socialist side of things while agreeing with the drug legalization and isolationist side.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      The true question is which libertarian-ish Jew hates himself more, Sheldon Richman or Ron Unz?

    3. Lackadaisical

      Depending on how development costs are allocated, and contracts structured, you could make an argument for the US owning the intellectual property of these defense giants.

      Actually, that would be a significantly better way to control arms sales than the current system.

  58. l0b0t

    If I want to age a bottled beer for a long time, is it fine to have it in a cupboard in an air-conditioned home or should it stay in the refrigerator? Also, do any of y’all have a favorite port or sherry in the under $50 range?

    1. kinnath

      What are you trying to age?

      If you’re talking about something that is age-worthy (belgian quads, big stouts, sour ales, and a few other things), then long term storage at cellar temperatures (55 degrees) is best. If you don’t have a wine cellar or a wine cooler, then basement temperatures are best. If you don’t have a basement, I would go with the fridge.

      How long are you planning to age the beer?

      1. l0b0t

        It is the amazing 8-Maids-a-Milking Imperial milk stout. It’s a 2015 and I would like to put it away for several more years at least.

        1. kinnath

          Yes, that looks age-worthy. You can dark, cool, and stable (avoid temperature fluctuations).

          I store my belgian quad and sour ales in my wine cellar with the wine. A dark corner of a basement is second best. Lastly, I would recommend the fridge over room temperature if you are going to hold onto it for years more.

          1. l0b0t

            Thank you very much.

          2. kinnath

            You are welcome.

            With luck, someone that is sober and knowledgeable will come along and confirm my response or point out that I am an idiot.

            It looks like a great beer. I have several of their sours tucked away in the cellar.

          3. Brochettaward

            You’re an idiot.

          4. l0b0t

            It was delightful surprise from my local beer merchant. He found it in the back and held it for me as I drank, what we thought was, his whole stock of it over the Summer. It’s quite delicious and I don’t know if I’ll ever see another one.

          5. kinnath

            But are you both sober and knowledgeable?

          6. Brochettaward

            What IS sobriety, when you really think about it? Or, for that matter, knowledge?

          7. Nephilium

            Not quite sober, but knowledgeable. The important things when it comes to aging are temperature stability (generally around 50-60 F), and darkness. I use the cellar under the stairs for my more standard cellaring beers, and have a wine fridge that I keep at ~55 F for the ones I really need to age for a long time (such as the beers for my nephew’s 21st birthdays).

            Source: Cellar of over 100 beers, and you had one of my aged beers in the last BIF. You tell me if it was stored appropriately. 🙂

      2. commodious spittoon

        ~six minutes while he finishes up in the bathroom

    2. Tres Cool

      harvey’s bristol cream
      I od’d on that at a county fair once after chugging most of the bottle on top of sugar waffles sold by the local Kiwanis
      Suffice to say, I was 15 or 16 years old

      1. Jarflax

        Sounds like you need some help from Wilfred Brimley.

        1. Tres Cool

          Not at that age. However, I havent had Harvey’s Bristol Cream since.

    3. CPRM

      I’ve been ageing some Bud Light in the fridge for about 4 years, it should bring in a hefty profit when I sell it.

      1. Brochettaward

        I hate to break it to you, but at this point it’s just filtered piss with the sliver of alcohol floating at the top and the minerals forming a residue at the bottom in between what is sort of kind of water.

        1. Ah, so nothing has changed!

  59. Winston

    Another article by the Idris Elba guy:

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/28/ethan-hawke-superhero-films-x-men-logan

    Now, in an act of burn-it-all-down bravura, he’s turned to superhero films, the meat and drink of the film industry, arguing that they can only be so good, but will always be hidebound by their genre. Taking a pop at the X-Men spin-off Logan, Hawke had the audacity to say: “Well, it’s a great superhero movie. It still involves people in tights with metal coming out of their hands. It’s not Bresson. It’s not Bergman.”

    For another section of people, including this writer, Hawke’s statement felt like a glass of cold water after a walk through the desert: no working critic would dare voice this perfectly sensible opinion in 2018 for fear of online ridicule, and perhaps because some publications are so keen to keep readers and the studios onside.

    As someone who doesn’t care about superhero movies I’m not really impressed. We need Ethan Hawke to tell us the Truth? No one criticizes Superhero movies? Causing Twitter fights is some sort of accomplishment? Name-dropping some auteur isn’t exactly sophisticated criticism either.

    1. Luther Baldwin

      No one criticizes Superhero movies?

      I criticize them by not watching them.

    2. Brochettaward

      Boyhood was the biggest piece of crap I’ve never seen.

        1. commodious spittoon

          That’s exactly what I think of when I hear about that movie.

          lol@ the Packers jab.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Not to mention sexist.

    3. Jarflax

      It takes burn it all down bravura to say that comic book movies are not pretentious art house films? We really have redefined courage to a new low.

        1. Brochettaward

          That’s because it was fucking awesome.

          1. Winston

            A lot of “arthouse auteurs” really do think that way. I mean Ford and Hitchcock weren’t considered highbrow when the Cahiers du cinema types slobbered all over them. Kubrick made a Stephen King movie after all.

  60. straffinrun

    I’d love to have a weekly fact checking article on glibs. Do it from a postmodernist point of view. Everything would get rated “possibly true”.

    1. Jarflax

      Even your name is false Tulpa!

    2. Chipping Pioneer

      I have a 15 cm girth.

      1. Jarflax

        Hi Goatse!

    3. CPRM

      Go ahead and do it then.

  61. Chipping Pioneer

    STEVE SMITH TAKE VACATION?

    BY TAKE VACATION, MEAN RAPE HIKERS. ON VACATION.

    1. CPRM

      I guess STEVE SMITH is just busy helping his author friend get ready to go to congress.

      1. Chipping Pioneer

        How does he square that with his Free Cascadia involvement?

        1. CPRM

          BY SQUARE HE MEAN…

          1. Chipping Pioneer

            STEVE SMITH FIT SQUARE PEG IN ROUND HOLE.

  62. Winston

    The really annoying thing about the whole gender swapped remake is how it is nothing new so why do they act like this is some big deal. His Girl Friday and My Favorite Wife were made almost 80 years ago. Brewster’s Millions with a woman is almost 100 years old. Jerry Lewis in a one-year period made two gender swapped remakes. So were the French on to something? Is the Day the Clown Cried now a masterpiece thanks to Trump?

  63. Brochettaward

    In these dark days of Trump, an an era without Obama, this country needs to find a way to heal. We need something. Something powerful. We need a Dangerous Minds remake.

    I had completely forgotten that MIchelle Pfeiffer (would) knew karate in that movie. Because she was a former Marine.

    1. Brochettaward

      We’d obviously have to scrap the line about their being no victims in this classroom.

    2. Luther Baldwin

      an era without Obama

      If only.

      1. CPRM

        Just heard today Michelle Obama had miscarriages and the daughters were born from invitro, yep life without Obama.

        1. Luther Baldwin

          Ba-dam-BAM-tsssss…

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      I’m in if this time they actually use “Pastime Paradise”.

      1. Brochettaward

        *Palest, whitest person on the planet*

        Not black enough.

  64. Winston

    In the morning Links people brought up how Kubrick got self indulgent before he died. Except he was always pretty pretentious. Anyone see his first film, that he came to regret, Fear and Desire? Really pretentious low-budget indie. I mean just listen to the opening narration or that internal monologue at 21:20 about the glaciers melting.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjJzQvjhndw

  65. BakedPenguin

    I gotta say yuh. Yuh because MN and NH templates are pretty similar, YUH because we’ll elect totally similar douchenozzles if given the chance.

    You know – calling you out Heroic Mulatto – NH voters will elect MN/VT/ME dickheads if given the chance
    You know – calling you out Pope Jimbo – MN voters will elect MN/VT/ME dickheads if given the chance.

    Time to be a dick, time to not give faggy leftists a chance.

    This goes out to everyone in New England, and everyone in the upper eat Midwest: say yuh! or fuck yuh!

    Actually, the time for this post was yesterday. But fuck yuh.

    1. CPRM

      When did this turn into a Facebook copy status site?

      1. BakedPenguin

        The same time you lost your sense of humor, CPRM. The election was yesterday.

        1. CPRM

          Is there such a fallacy as a double negative? Because I think I done found it! Research papers here I come!

    2. Luther Baldwin

      NY says “Hi.”

    3. Nephilium

      Just for that, you get another Cleveland.com editorial about the election.

      The combined population of the counties DeWine lost — Athens, Cuyahoga, Franklin, Hamilton, Lorain, Lucas, Mahoning, Summit and Trumbull counties — and the three he won by fewer than 3 points — Erie, Montgomery and Portage counties — is 5.9 million. That’s slightly more than half Ohio’s population of 11.7 million.

      Note, that’s not talking about votes cast, but county population counts.

      1. Luther Baldwin

        Ohio politics are like the reverse of New York politics. It makes my head spin.

        1. Nephilium

          It’s just that our urban areas have been bleeding population for decades, it’s just entertaining to me that since the election there’s been daily articles coming up in my newsfeed about how Ohio needs to break up into an urban and rural area. The fact these are Cleveland papers that flatly ignore Columbus and Cincinnati just make it more insane to me. The city center (and first ring suburbs) may go Democrat, but get outside that, and it’s Republican country. There’s a place I drive by daily (off of 77) that has a barn with a giant anti-union painting on the side. For years, there was the barn off of 71 (between Ashland and Columbus) that had a Confederate flag painted on its roof (seriously man, you can’t find a more northern state then Ohio).

          1. Luther Baldwin

            Same from my years in Buffalo except they knew they were in fact well outnumbered by the rednecks that populate New York outside of the cities and that said rednecks wanted nothing more than to detach themselves from the downstate region.

      2. Brochettaward

        Honestly, there doesn’t seem to be a major difference in many places. It’s absurd how completely lopsided the election results are in most big cities, particularly in the NE and in California. It’s not even a joke to say that North Korea’s leaders blush to give themselves so much of the popular vote in their shame elections. Even they concede that 5% of the population may not have voted with the majority. But not Philadelphia.

    1. Brochettaward

      Thank god for Pearl Harbor and the a-bomb. Japan would be worse than Afghanistan otherwise.

      1. straffinrun

        I know. It’s perfect as it is.

    2. Luther Baldwin

      Oh my God.

    3. CPRM

      When I make asian women do that in my basement it’s ‘sex trafficking’ but when they turn it into a TV show it’s a-ok, I hate double standards!

      1. Brochettaward

        *spits out whiskey*

        Hey. Hey. Hey! That’s MY thing!

        1. CPRM

          But do you have elderly white neighbors who will say you were a ‘a nice quiet young man’? Because I do.

          1. Brochettaward

            The number of people I’ve met who would say I seemed nice, but was a bit of loner, are legion. LEGION. I’ve prepared for this my entire life. You don’t get to take it from me.

          2. CPRM

            Ok, I’ll be the nice quiet young fellow here and let you say that. So that you can now say I was such a nice quiet young fellow.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t know what’s happening there, but I don’t think it matters.

      /boing

  66. BakedPenguin

    OK, straffin, I Wanna be Sedated.

      1. CPRM

        That kid is going to have some messed up sexual proclivities when he grows up, so I guess a normal Japanese citizen.

        1. Nephilium

          Or a straight male who went to Catholic school.

          1. CPRM

            I’m a straight male Catholic who went to public school, so your set is deemed null.

          2. Nephilium

            So, no desire for white blouses and short plaid skirts? I can’t be the only one…

          3. CPRM

            I said I went to public school, not that I was gay.

          4. RegicidalManiac

            I mean, is there a straight man anywhere who wouldn’t go for the schoolgirl look?

            I mean, if my wife’s internet history includes lesbian schoolgirl porn, I feel like that’s pretty indicative of the universal nature of the appeal.

  67. Spudalicious

    10-3 Fresno over Boise. I’m not feeling great about the second half but it could be worse.

  68. Nephilium

    Okay, if these had the Chief Wahoo logo on them, I may have had to purchase them.

    1. straffinrun

      I’ve never thought, “Gee, wish I had moccasins right now.”

      1. Nephilium

        So you’ve never driven through Wisconsin then, have you? I swear that almost every exit had a sign for a cheese, wine, and moccasin store.

        1. CPRM

          Um, he’s from Wisconsin. And yeah, they sell Moccasin here, to stupid tourists.

          1. straffinrun

            Those and those wooden coins with “round tuit” engraved on them.

          2. CPRM

            My favorite are the ‘traditional’ plastic beaded key chain rings, you know like the tribes used to hold all of their car keys before the white man was around.

          3. Nephilium

            My apologies, I didn’t know where straffinrun was from. I just know where he is. If it makes you feel better, I bought no moccasins in my one trip through Wisconsin. There were several cases of New Glarus in my trunk, but no moccasins.

          4. straffinrun

            I only have a vague memory of when Wisconsin was kicking my ass.

          5. CPRM

            Nothing will make me feel better, but that’s my problem not yours. New Glarus is down by Madison, therefore I ignore it’s existence.

          6. Nephilium

            CPRM:

            I’m sorry to hear that, if there’s anything I can do to help, please feel free to reach out to me at my handle at Google’s e-mail.

            And if you’ve got any other recommendations for Wisconsin breweries, I’ll gladly hit them up the next time I’m in the area.

          7. CPRM

            Oh, no, you don’t want my beer advice. And as we say round dees part up nort, dat hole emotion thing was just joshin, doncha know.

          8. CPRM

            My favorite, and pretty much exclusive, beer is Red Dog from Miller’s Plank Road Brewery, so yeah, like I said, you won’t be receptive to my message.

          9. Nephilium

            CPRM: Don’t worry, I’ll just think less of you if you suggest bad breweries. My two trips to Wisconsin involved a drive up from Chicago (to the Jelly Belly factory for the girlfriend), and a trip through Green Bay (after stopping in St. Ignace for a night, and then moving on to Minneapolis for a couple of days (and yes, the girlfriend said we had to visit the mall).

  69. BakedPenguin

    Mellow out or you will pay

    1. Festus

      Shame about the uncool niece…

      1. BakedPenguin

        Saw them in ’02 in London. They’d just gotten rid of Jello, so it was a bar fight – buncha assholes throwing shit. Kinda enjoyed them without the constant screeching, just playing their songs. Def worth my $12 or so to hang out & listen to tunes once the doucherockets got tired of throwing shit.

  70. straffinrun

    Since we’re calling out HM, I’ve got a few things to say.
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JjMEb17y0wc

    1. CPRM

      I don’t care if he’s gay or not, but I hate people who film vertically with a phone. Modern video is 16×9, if you turn your damn $2000 phone on it’s side it shoots 16×9. Fucksake. (I know my pet peeves are odd, but they personal and thus emotional, DON’T QUESTION MY EMOTIONS SHITLORD!)

      1. Lackadaisical

        People who film vertically are literally Hitler. It is objectively bad, and I hope they feel bad.

    2. Brochettaward

      Still seems gay to me. Just an observation.

      1. straffinrun

        Methinks he doth suck cock too much. NTTAWWT.

    3. Festus

      Yep. He a fag.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I have no idea who that is, but his skin is fantastic.

      Now I’m gay. NTTAWWT.

  71. Trials and Trippelations

    So Matt Stone and Trey Parker are climate change believers now according to their most recent episode.
    Weird.

    1. Festus

      Welllll, they have been asking the overlords to cancel the show. It’s either meta or they’ve been subsumed by the Smug.

      1. Trials and Trippelations

        Yea. I’m scratching my head about it. Maybe next week will shed some light

  72. BakedPenguin

    Not to get into Q territory, but VS models.

    1. BakedPenguin

      Oops. that’s why I don’t go to Q territory.