My apologies for brevity, I’m moving kinda slow this morning. Much alcohol, much superb food, much stimulating conversation with hyper-intelligent people, much late-night, not much sleep. The Wonder Dog was thrilled because she got pizza. She is less thrilled about the imminent drive back home today, trapped in the back seat for seven hours.

Today’s birthdays include foundational chef Auguste Escoffier, less-talented-brother Peter Hitchens, poorly-groomed Persian midget Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, and Clinton bagman Sandy Berger.

Enough about me, now let’s switch the subject to the news of the day.

I guess one way to tamp down all the conspiracy talk about a nutjob who made pretend bombs for mailing is to have another nutjob shoot up a shul. And of course, the bodies were still bleeding when the usual suspects started politicizing it. Trump suggests armed guards. I suggest armed citizens. So does this guy, but he’s fighting a useless battle, given European sentiments about Jews, Muslims, and self-reliance in general.

The effects of global warming killed more Jews yesterday than the Pittsburgh guy. At least I assume that global warming is being blamed.

Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha was killed in a plane crash. They’re making him an extra-wide tombstone to fit the name.

Shithead former president blasts shithead current president for being a shithead. It’s shitheads all the way down.

Weird shit shows up on beaches. I blame Trump.

We’ve made jokes about these things, but Beer It Forward can have devastating international repercussions.

The EU is so much more progressive and caring than we are. Yet again. Silly people, you should know better, keep your insults restricted the the Jew blood libels. At least their hands aren’t tied by some crappy old piece of parchment penned by a lot of old dead white guys like a hundred years ago or something.

Every time I start thinking well of Rand Paul, he manages to do or say something that forces me to remember that he’s first and foremost a politician, with things like consistent principles (like free trade) secondary to the same tired posturing of the rest of his cohorts.

Old Guy Music today is old, but not obscure. For whatever reason, this song was stuck in my head yesterday. So here’s my attempt to stick it in YOUR head today.