Coming Attractions & Saturday Night Open Post

Good evening, my dear Glibs.

We’ve been super busy here at Chez OMWC/SP. As OMWC mentioned, we have a dear friend, [REDACTED], making his annual visit from Europe, and I’ve just had a final project due for my pharmacology course, along with taking the final exam yesterday. I did have to miss the family reunion that was also scheduled for this weekend in Western PA. Bi-location fail!

But tomorrow, much fun will ensue. OMWC and [REDACTED] and I will be meeting up with Swiss and three of his dearest friends for brunch. Don’t you wish you lived near us? (Stay alert for a Go Fund Me appeal for bail money.)

Anyway! You didn’t come here to read about my life. You want to know what’s happening on the site next week. And, of course, you want your Saturday Night Open Post.

We have much more great content coming up than some of you deserve. Of course, we have the standard linkages from OMWC, Sloopy, Brett L, and possibly others who might be pressed into service as the need arises. I suspect the giant floating stone head and that forest lawyer fellow might put in an appearance.

Tomorrow we have Not Adahn’s weekly GlibCast (look out!), then we segue into CPRM’s latest animated Hat & Hair episode. (Not to embarrass CPRM, but, if you’ve got some spare change and you enjoy the animated H&H, please consider throwing some coins at him via PayPal. Send to: his handle at myself.com These take a considerable amount of time and effort on his part. Show some love. /fellow starving artist)

Next up, Swiss has sent an Afghan update for tomorrow evening. Monday, we have a very good question from BakedPenguin, OMWC explains why “fuck you, cut spending” won’t work for Illinois, and Web Dom has another tasty recipe.

Tuesday, Evan from Evansville takes us on a trip (not THAT kind), and Aus provides some cover tunes with which to sing along. Wednesday is pretty much owned by SugarFree, but we will have a respite in the middle provided by Mrs trshmnstr’s and trshmnstr’s weekly GlibFit wrap-up. Thursday, UnCivilServant gives us some advice, BakedPenguin likely predicts NFL Week 7 outcomes, and Yusef Drives a Kia out to the desert. Friday, Animal shares a visit to a shoot-y part of Massachusetts. Then, on Saturday sit back and relax with part two of mexican sharpshooter’s beer-and-book review. (Drinking and thinking at the same time…I dunno, that seems hard.)

The fun never stops here at Glibertarians.com!

And now…even MORE fun, with the Saturday Night Open Post. Have a great rest of your weekend!

Comments

262 responses to “Coming Attractions & Saturday Night Open Post”

    1. CPRM

      If we do not raise boys to walk humbly and care deeply, if we do not demand that men do more than just listen, we will all drown in the flood.

      That’s when the screaming about not wanting you to fix their problems comes in, if sitcoms have taught me anything.

      1. And when they do do more than “just listen”, the women will scream at them for not agreeing with them.

        1. JaimeRoberto

          I thought that’s what “listening” meant.

    2. Bob Boberson

      What are the odds that guy has refrained from killing himself because he’s holding onto hope that she’ll die first and he’ll get a few years of life that isn’t absolute drudgery. Maybe even sleep with a woman who isn’t human garbage.

      1. Chafed

        1:1

  1. Spudalicious

    I like [REDACTED]

    And on topic, so first.

    1. Tres Cool

      As did I. Yet another tie.

      1. MikeS

        If it was a tie then why does he have a “2” in front of his comment and you have a “3”?

    2. CPRM

      It warms my tiny little withered Glib heart that some folks liked the [REDACTED] stuff. Now do like they woman says and give me your monies or yousis sexxist!

      1. MikeS

        I think it’s the [REDACTED] thing I’ve ever [REDACTED].

        1. Tres Cool

          Look at the timestamps on #2 and #3
          *drops mic*

          1. Spudalicious

            8:09 and 8:10 is a tie?

          2. Spudalicious

            Ah. Obviously I beat you by MANY seconds because I’m that good.

      2. westernsloper

        I was going to give you some money but it was [REDACTED]

        1. Rhywun

          And then you got [REDACTED]?

  2. Tres Cool

    You totally had Putin over for drinks, didn’t you ?

    1. Nephilium

      Aren’t we all Russian bots or Tulpa?

      1. CPRM

        Haven’t you read the ‘About the Author’ on any of my posts? “Definitely not a Russian bot, da comrade.”

    1. Tres Cool

      My son knows to only risk getting caught grabbing a woman with an ass like a dump-truck, haulin’ 5 tons of fuck.
      That woman had an ass like a TV tray.

    2. CPRM

      No, this was about racism! Didn’t you hear?

    3. Why? everyone more or less decided this woman was crazy within minutes. Little boys will be fine.

      1. LJW

        But what happens if there is no video?

        1. From what I read the store clerks and other customers came to this kids defense and the cops dismissed this woman as nuts before they ever looked at the video, seriously false accusations have been around forever, yeah they are in the news right now but this is nothing new, saner heads will prevail as they almost always do.

          1. dbleagle

            Saner heads will prevail after a steady diet of criminal convictions for filing false accusations.

            This is not a case of a jury deliberating for hours and coming to a not guilty verdict. This is a Duke lacrosse, Rolling Stone, Tawna Brawley, Mattress Girl, 1400 anon accusations of rape by BK filed with the FBI level layer of shit. Imagine that. Since the fabulist Ford burst onto the National scene 1400 people have contacted the FBI to accuse BK of rape. That is almost one rape per week for BK since he graduated from high school. How many people will face any hands on experience with the Federal justice system for that? You know the same answer I do- zero, zilch, none, nul.

            Arrest her, try her and throw her into incarceration. Do it to the next and the next until people realize ya better be ready to back up BS accusations.

          2. Filing false police reports and lying to the FBI is already illegal and those people should be held accountable, but there is no need to go extra heavy just because it’s #metoo BS. In this case, the woman thought the kid’s backpack bumping her was him grabbing her ass, she was mistaken and overreacted but I don’t think she needs arrested or lock up for being mistaken and crazy.

            Anyway, it was the “Boys today are fucked” and “Ruined his life” sentiments that I was disputing. This kid is going to be all right, BK is going to be all right, I haven’t heard that the Duke lacrosse players are all homeless tweakers. They had to go through some shit sure, we all do, lives ruined? not so much. Yes, I know there are innocent men in jail, but I’d wager 99% of them are there because the DA/cops relied on shady DNA type evidence and that they are wrongly accused of a crime that did happen. i.e. woman was raped but they got the wrong guy, not completely fabricated crimes.

      2. Jarflax

        The people I feel sorry for are mildly neurotic women. This constant shrieking of rape this and sexual assault that and women are all always afraid has to absolutely destroy people who started out anxious.

    4. Nephilium

      Pound Me Too.

      The girlfriend enjoys telling the story of when someone’s grandma full on grabbed my ass at a brewery. She laughed while I had to turn and go, “Pardon me”. Not that I’m really complaining, she even grabbed the cheek without the wallet in it.

      1. Akira

        Old women are friggin’ pervs sometimes.

        When I worked at this auto parts factory, I was bent over a table filling out some papers when I felt a pinch on my ass. These three old ladies were behind me giggling, smacking each other on the arms, and shuffling away as fast as they could.

        1. Nephilium

          There was another time (at the same location no less), where I got to watch a mom check me out while I walked by. Mind you, I had ridden my bike up there, and was in lycra (and for those who don’t know, bike shorts have a lot of padding in the nethers). I caught her, whistled, and pointed at my eyes when I walked by again.

        2. Only sometimes?

    5. Mustang

      One of my buddies in college was drunk and being an idiot and smacked this girl on the ass. I saw what was happening from across the room and tried to stop him…because I was dating her at the time. Before I could intervene, I saw her turn and the look of recognition that slowly grew across his face was totally worth it when she walloped him so hard he had a handprint on his cheek for two days. I couldn’t even be mad at him. I’m just glad she didn’t use the vodka bottle she was holding.

      Point is…that was the end of it. He felt bad and never did anything like that again. End of story. No “death to men” editorials required.

      1. Nephilium

        But that was in the past couple of decades, right? We won’t really know what happens until it’s been 30-40 years.

        1. Mustang

          Well, with any luck, she’ll be cold, alone, and so stark raving mad by that time that nobody would come near enough to her to #believeher.

      2. Tres Cool

        I just call that “saturday morning”

  3. Tres Cool

    ““fuck you, cut spending” won’t work for Illinois…”
    They’re beholden to the labor unions for votes, and they’re obligated to pay those union pensions. That’s why. See also: California, Washington, Oregon, New York….

    1. Rhywun

      they’re obligated to pay those union pensions

      It’s baked into the fucking constitution in some states, but good luck getting the MSM to inform voters of that fact.

    2. If Kate Brown loses in Oregon, it will mostly be due to the public employee union pensions. PERS is out of control, and awareness of that fact is starting to trickle down to the moderates.

      Knute Buehler is claiming that he’s going to do something about it while trying to run as pro-choice, so he’s getting some traction. Unfortunately, he’s a squish, so whether or not he will actually do anything about it if he manages to get elected is anyone’s guess.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        It will never get fixed. PERS has been broken for years, aided and abetted by the judiciary (which just so coincidentally are also beneficiaries). What should have been done twenty years ago was to terminate the employment of each and every state employee with the provision that they could go to work the next day under the new scheme going forward. Instead they were allowed to be grandfathered for future earnings. The icing on the shitpile is the the nonsensical ways local governments and agencies were allowed to boost PERS earnings for highly paid employees.

        Buehler’s a fucking idiot, the kind of RINO lefty that D supporters claim they could support. He’s a sellout on gun control and at best would be the not quite as big big-government type.

  4. Count Potato

    “I’m just confused by the women who confidently assert men/the patriarchy have held them back. How? All the people who have given me opportunities & pushed me forward in my career have been men. The most “repression” I’ve suffered has been at the hands of gossipy, petty women.”

    https://twitter.com/conservmillen/status/1050502548057182209

    That’s because you’re hot.

    1. LJW

      Petty gossiping women are the worst of all co-workers.

      1. Akira

        I work in a primarily female field (medical billing) and the male:female ratio in my workplace is probably 1:5. On one hand, it’s nice to have so many cute girls to look at, but on the other hand, there’s some serious Game of Thrones shit that goes on with them and their gossiping. Over the years, I’ve gotten pretty good at playing Switzerland and staying out of any drama bullshit, but damn, they are horrid to each other sometimes.

        1. The one good thing about being cripplingly shy is that I avoid all the gossiping.

  5. Count Potato

    “Brotopia—Analysis and Review

    Brotopia: Breaking up the Boy’s Club of Silicon Valley by Emily Chang subjects the software business to vigorous criticism. The dust jacket claims Silicon Valley is a “Brotopia” where “men hold all the cards and make all the rules.” Women are “vastly outnumbered” and face “toxic workplaces rife with discrimination and sexual harassment” where apparently “investors take meetings in hot tubs and network at sex parties.” Her call to action is to break up the “boy’s club” and establish gender parity in software.

    Alas, such argument as the book offers is colourful mud-slinging on the basis of anecdotes. The book does not support its claims with any statistical or causal analysis. When such analysis is done Chang’s claims can be dismissed as lurid gossip based on harmful stereotypes.

    This leads to various questions. What are the root causes of gender disparity in occupational sectors in general? What, if anything, should be done about gender disparity? What causes disparity in software in particular? What, if anything, should be done about gender disparity among software developers and computer programmers who collectively are only 19.3 percent female? What, if anything, should be done about gender disparity in psychology (68.9 percent), nursing (89.9 percent) and preschool and kindergarten education (97.7 percent)?

    It has to be said, if there is a chronic bias in hiring it is happening on the watch of a female majority occupational sector. Human resources (HR) is a “girl’s club” at both management (70.8 percent) and worker levels (72.1 percent).

    To conclude, what motivates Brotopia is gossip and envy. It is an opportunistic ride on a mythical wave. Chang ignores psychology findings that do not fit her narrative theme of female suffering at the hands of men. She avoids discussing well-known results, some published over a decade ago, that can provide far less sinister explanations as to why more men don’t nurse and more women don’t code.

    On the DFEH data, Silicon Valley has no obvious case to answer. If anything, it deserves a pat on the back for having just over half the complaint rate of Los Angeles. If feminists wish to persuade men who work with data and numbers all day every day that there is something seriously wrong with their industry, they need to find hard data and crunch the numbers.

    There is no excuse not to: 48.8 percent of US statisticians are female.”

    https://quillette.com/2018/10/12/brotopia-analysis-and-review/

    1. CPRM

      Yes, when I think of toxic masculinity and the manliest of men who are ‘bros’ my mind goes straight to programmers.

        1. Tres Cool

          +1 Ogre U Asshole

      1. Tres Cool

        BROgrammers, amirite ?

      2. westernsloper

        Programmers are the lumberjacks of………..

        1. Tres Cool

          Micro Center?
          Starbucks ?

          1. Nephilium

            Show your midwest privileged with Micro Center. If you want to pretend to be coastal, it should be Fry’s.

          2. Rhywun

            Never heard of Fry’s but there is a Micro Center an easy subway ride from me in Brooklyn.

          3. Nephilium

            I learned of Fry’s back in the days before /. went full proggy. Micro Center was always the local for me, especially when I needed random adapters when building my own desktops.

          4. Rhywun

            Ah, left coast and Texas. That would be why I’ve never heard of them.

            Yeah, I only discovered Micro Center (never heard of it previously) because it’s next door to the Bed Bath and Beyond that recently opened in a big old industrial building on the waterfront. It’s stocked, all right.

          5. Fry’s used to be awesome, now they’re just sad. Used to be they had a lot of neat random gadgets and fairly decent prices, but when I went few months ago it was about like Radio Shack circa 2014. Most of the neat stuff was MIA and the prices weren’t all that great. Haven’t been back since.

          6. The guys at Micro Center are straight out of central casting.

      3. Rhywun

        It’s fucking laughable. I’m more of a “bro” than most of the other programmers I’ve worked with.

    2. Chafed

      I’m starting to think Quillette does serious journalism. Anyone think that’s wrong?

  6. MikeS

    Serious question: When you say “myself.com” is that literal?

    1. CPRM

      That is the literal site, literally.

    2. westernsloper

      not to be confused with touchmyself.com

      1. It’s not as if anybody else is going to touch you.

          1. Well, she’s dead, so I don’t know what kind of touching it would be.

        1. westernsloper

          Obviously you never travel through airports.

      2. MikeS

        Did you hear about the guy in Oregon who touched himself?

    3. CPRM

      The original Glibstarter to clarify.

  7. mikey

    So, I keep getting the ad on YouTube (MT) with some soccer mom type sitting what is supposed to be her living room complaining about how much her health insurance costs (she calls it “Health Care” of course). The “Skip Ad” button appears before there is any mention of who I’m supposed to vote for to put an end to this poor woman’s misery. I guess I’ll never know.
    I find it weird that advertisers often don’t even show their logo until after the Skip Ad button appears.

    1. The TEAM BLUE candidate here is running ads that the TEAM RED guy is taking people’s health care away, as if Obamacare gave it to anybody in the first place.

    2. CPRM

      Youtube has ads? Hm guess my adblocker is doing it’s job. But to be serious, streaming services have really fucking messed up on the whole ad thing. Back when Hulu started it gave you the ‘choice’ to choose your ‘ad experience’ it was between two ads from the same company. With how much data mining they do nowadays you’d think they’d find a way to deliver ads to people that will spend money on those ads. I mean, there is no way I’m going to buy a brand new car, but show me an ad for a Transfomers Masterpiece edition and I will seriously consider dropping $150 on a children’s toy. (in the end I won’t, but I’m much more likely to.)

    3. GEICO did brilliant YT ads — the compression ones.

  8. Rhywun

    Cuomo’s flooding the airwaves with ads full of details about why I should vote against his “ultraconservative” opponent – whom I now totally want to vote for.

    1. Dutchess County Republicans aren’t “ultraconservative”.

    2. Tres Cool

      You glorious bastard. I thought about you when I heard this earlier.

      1. Rhywun

        I kind of liked that, even though they left out large parts of Brooklyn. Like mine.

        1. Tres Cool

          Does this help ?

          1. Rhywun

            My neighborhood was mentioned so I… guess?

    3. Bob Boberson

      Ultraconservative in NY is George Pataki….ponder that on the tree of woe

      1. Chafed

        So basically a moderate/conservative Democrat.

    1. Bob Boberson

      -1 patriarcy?

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      This is one of the few exceptions to the NAP.

      1. Count Potato

        He was just dancing though.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          The Fortnite dance, which is the pedophilia of dances.

          1. Festus

            I’d venture that makes the “Running Man” the coprophilia of dances. The “Molly Ringwald” is the necrophlia of dances.

          2. westernsloper

            There is a Molly Ringwald dance? Why have I never heard of this before?

          3. What about The Lawnmower? The Shopping Cart?

  9. Bob Boberson

    Night cap in bar of the hotel I’m staying in. Was hoping there would be drunk bridesmaids wandering in from the wedding going on in the reception hall…..alas here I glib alone.

      1. DEG

        My favorite subreddit.

    1. Nephilium

      We’re all alone for a while, then we find booze, and we can find someone who’s willing to deal with us.

      1. Bob Boberson

        The question for me is….can I deal with them. So far the answer is; 3-6 months tops.

        1. Nephilium

          I may have reached my limit here, at least the past couple of weeks have been leaning that way. I’ll see how things continue over the next couple of weeks…

          1. Bob Boberson

            I’ll marry the first girl who doesn’t pull the ‘move herself in right away routine.’ I go from smitten to overwhelmed and annoyed in about 2 weeks.

          2. Nephilium

            I’ve been with the GF for more then a couple years at this point, but these past couple weeks, certain issues have been coming to a head. Hopefully we can work things out, but I just needed a forum to vent for a bit.

          3. CPRM

            Only this site could make incels look like hopeless romantics.

          4. Nephilium

            I strive to set a bad example for all those around me.

          5. Festus

            Kavanaaaaauuuuuuuuugh!!!!!!!

          6. Akira

            move herself in right away routine

            Aaah, the ol’ “show up one day with bags full of clothing and shampoo”. I had a girl pull that on me after about one week of casual fucking. She pulled a boxcutter on me when I broke up with her. We still talk occasionally.

          7. Akira

            @Ted S.

            Yes, it certainly was. That girl took the trophy for “best sex of my life” and no woman has taken it since (it’s been 10 years since we were together).

            She is now a very devoted wife and mother… Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake by casting her off.

          8. Rhywun

            Oh fuck, I’ve made so many mistakes it’s ridiculous. I don’t even know how many “the one that got aways” there are.

          9. Bob Boberson

            Sorry to hear that though, it’s tough when you realize that her brand of crazy isn’t sustainable long-term

          10. Nephilium

            No worries, it’s entirely possible it’s my brand of crazy that doesn’t work well in the long term. As I said, I just needed an open forum where I can vent a bit. It really helps to be able to do even this small amount of venting.

          11. Bob Boberson

            Vent away. It’s weird how relationships can get lonely when the walls close on on you. I’ve rented about all my [failed] relationships on here, i get better advice and a more objective audience. You can say things on here that your friends and relatives don’t want to hear.

          12. Nephilium

            Thanks man. Things have been rough, and I try to keep up an appropriate face in public, but it’s getting harder and harder to deal with some of the shite at home. At this point, it’s just nice to have a place where I can vent without it getting back to her immediately.

          13. Bob Boberson

            I feel for you. When things go south for me I take it pretty stoically, do my best to not let it show at work or in my normal social interactions. It’s not a fun thing to deal with alone.

          14. Nephilium

            Hell, I’m willing to wager that most of it is my fault on top of it all. But I have few places I can vent to safely. I’ve got a couple of local friends who I would count on to keep it private, but to hang out with them without the GF would involve work at this point.

          15. CPRM

            I’m no stranger to yelling at internet clouds myself. Just make sure you don’t make decisions over stupid shit. She seems to enjoy most all of your nerdy activities, and from what you’ve posted even joins in mostly. You’ve seen the desolate landscape of Glibertarian women who are also available. I can’t judge for you, but you need to ask yourself if their is plausibly a woman out there who is better. Don’t look for the faults, count the pluses. (What do I know, I’m a 35 year old celibate Catholic/racist/homophobe/somehow rapist despite the celibacy)

          16. Nephilium

            CPRM: A lot of it may just come down to cultural differences between the GF and me. She’s got six months on me in age, but she has never in her life worked a 40 hour work week. She has no concept about needing a job to live, because she’s been living on her families money for most of her life. I’m not planning on making any life changing decisions without a lot of thought, but there’s been some shit building up over the past couple of weeks.

          17. Mustang

            Time to head out man. Finances are one of the biggest causes of breakups/divorces. I suspect that she isn’t going to have a come-to-Jesus moment about contributing to the financial stability of your future family (if that’s a goal), so if it’s becoming a thing now, it sure as hell is going to get a lot worse later, especially if you hit hard times and are put of work for a bit.

          18. CPRM

            Well, can you get your hands on some of that money?

          19. DEG

            She’s got six months on me in age, but she has never in her life worked a 40 hour work week. She has no concept about needing a job to live, because she’s been living on her families money for most of her life.

            You’ve been with her for a couple of years?

            Wow.

            I’m surprised you’ve made it work given the huge difference in values you two probably have.

          20. Nephilium

            I’m not interested in the GF’s money, and we have separate accounts (and I bought the house in my name alone). I feel some responsibility because I have the feeling that I may be the last chance she has to become an adult. I’ve got more then enough stocked away to keep me living if I lose my job, so I’m not overly concerned about that (and the house I bought was something I can afford on a job with half my current salary). And I have no desire to spread my genes onto a new generation, I’ve got more then enough flaws that I don’t believe should be passed on. Plus my sister is three kids deep, and I’ve got a cousin who knocked up his girlfriend to keep the family name alive, so I’m not concerned about that.

          21. SP

            I will also compassionately listen to relationship woes. sp at this website.

            I’m objective and only offer advice when asked.

          22. Nephilium

            SP: I appreciate the offer. Truly I do. But in my special ways, venting publicly on a forum still has a different feel to me then a private e-mail. I’m not sure I’m ready to jump to that level of complaints yet. I hope you understand.

          23. CPRM

            YEah, I’m not saying I offer great advice, hell on top of all those other disqualifiers I mentions, I’ve gotten 2 hrs of sleep in the last 36hrs and split 12 beers each day when I wasn’t working, but I’m just saying don’t act rashly.

          24. SP

            “ I feel some responsibility because I have the feeling that I may be the last chance she has to become an adult.”

            Ok, I lied. Advice: So not your responsibility. From what I can tell, you aren’t her parent. Do not sacrifice your peace of mind trying to fulfill that role. It will not end well.

            Edited to add: It’s an open offer of listening with no obligation to take me up on it, no explanation needed. This goes for any of the regular Glibs. You need a confidential, impartial place to vent, I’m your huckleberry.

          25. Mustang

            What SP said x1000. That’s a recipe for resentment.

          26. DEG

            I feel some responsibility because I have the feeling that I may be the last chance she has to become an adult.

            That’s what I was worried about when I typed my reply.

            An ex-girlfriend of mine was a year older than me, but many of my friends thought she was younger because of how she acted. She was, in many ways, rather immature. In some ways she wasn’t. That relationship didn’t work out.

          27. Nephilium

            SP: I know I’m not responsible, but I feel I may be the last chance the GF has to grow up and be an adult. I am well aware that I shouldn’t be the only responsible one in the relationship (and that’s what a lot of the recent fights have been about). Me dating the GF got me cut off from several people I thought were my friends a couple years ago (and that’s a whole other story), I’m reaching the point that I hope she can survive in the world by herself, even if that doesn’t include me.

          28. Nephilium

            All of you, thanks for letting me vent. You have no idea (well some of you do) how much it helps. Trust me, I’m reading everything all y’all are saying, and trying to take it to heart. I really can’t say how much I appreciate this place as somewhere I can vent.

          29. Chafed

            Here’s my unsolicited two cents. On the financial front, you need to discuss it directly. Mustang is right about finances being a relationship killer. On the flip side, if you do genuinely work it out then it will bring you closer together. Better to know if it unites or divides you.

            On being her last chance, unless there is something you haven’t told us (and there probably is), no you aren’t. She has family money in some form. If it ends tomorrow she isn’t homeless. If she doesn’t learn any lessons from social feedback then there isn’t anything you are going to do or say that will change that.

    2. westernsloper

      Go glib in the reception hall. Just act like you belong. Especially if you are nicely dressed like an attendee or even servant like as one of the waiters.

      1. Mustang

        I assume he’s wearing a top hat and a monocle so they should be flocking to him.

        Did you remember to have your orphans brush your teeth? Don’t forget to count your Koch bucks while you’re sipping your expensive whiskey.

    3. Bob Boberson

      Just got a look at a few of the bridesmaids….it looks exactly like what you’d picture when you envision a group of West Virginia bridal party. Off to bed with me then.

      1. MikeS

        it looks exactly like what you’d picture when you envision a group of West Virginia bridal party.

        They all look related?

        1. Bob Boberson

          And also like their parents were

          1. Nephilium

            /looks at family calendar

            /wipes brow

            Not my family… this time.

          2. westernsloper

            Eyes close together or is it teeth? One of those can be fixed by drinking more.

          3. Bob Boberson

            Both. And also pear shaped, which for me, cannot be fixed by drinking.

            /Never been a chubby chaser

          4. CPRM

            Not a fan of eye teeth?

      2. The bridesmaids are off to bed with you? You lucky bastard!

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Re: the stolen Kushner documents that the NYT is gloating over. It came to me while getting groceries, that in addition to whatever NYT staff looked through them, they got 13 lawyers and accountants to do the same for quotations. Two professions with supposed professional ethics that should have a) told the NYT to pound sand and b) called the cops to report a crime. Yet all of them were happy to do so without a second thought.

    1. westernsloper

      These stolen/leaked tax returns are coming from either an IRS employee or one of Muellers team. I think since they are now having to point out how evil they are for taking legal deductions it means they finally realized there is no Russian collusion they can even muster a half a finger point at. The ending investigation report will state Trump should be impeached because he and his family got rich unethically, yet legally working the tax code and stealing from the American people and is therefore not fit to be president. Or something like that.

    2. CPRM

      Just read the article. This would be a bombshell if all the deductions were a special carve out for him by Drumpf, but as it stands, it says he did nothing more than follow the law, HOW DARE HE!

  11. Festus

    It’s an open post so I’ll be brief. Thank you to everyone here for your kind words and sympathy over the last coupla days. I don’t want to get too maudlin but I hope that you know how much I appreciate this community and the Founders that make this crazy sausage of jokes, ideas and comraderie. Happy belated B-day to Q and to Rufus, “I feel your pain”! Yusuf buddy, hang in there. We are all rooting for you! (phrasing?)

    1. Count Potato

      Ditto.

      And sorry for your loss 🙁

    2. Nephilium

      Festus, I’m sorry I didn’t pipe up on the original thread. I’m not good at dealing with emotions (the stories I could tell from this part alone…). I hope you’re doing alright, and if there’s anything I can do to help, ask.

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      Not to bring up bad memories, but what happened?

      1. Festus

        My Dad got dead from driving down the wrong lanes of a freeway and nearly killed three innocent people who are thankfully going to survive.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I’m sorry to hear this. My sympathies are with you.

        2. DEG

          Sorry Festus.

        3. Chafed

          Good Lord. I can only imagine what you are experiencing. My condolences to you and your family. I hope you have the strength to deal with loss and whatever you might be getting from the families of the injured.

    4. Bob Boberson

      I never know what to say in these situations. I saw your update yesterday when the links were mostly dead. I’m truly sorry for your loss Festus.

    5. CPRM

      I’ll add my #metoo for you Festus as well. I know we’ve talked before about your disconnect with your family; but it can still be one of them emotion things people talk about. Just letting you know we’re actually here to listen when we aren’t too drunk to read the words on the screen.

      1. Festus

        Thanks Buddy! This is hitting me a lot harder than I thought it would. When Mom passed I didn’t even break stride but this one is making me grieve. Fun Fact – Wifey and the girls are all taking bereavement leave from their jobs and I gotta work a double tomorrow. Nobody to fill in for me.

        1. CPRM

          I was very close with my dad when he passed, but I had to do the same. Projecting your calmness to the world can help convince yourself. Just make sure you leave some space to grieve in private.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            +1

            I went to work the next day after my step-dad died. It was the only place that things made sense for a while.

    6. SP

      Sorry I was AWOL when everything went down.

      I’m really sorry for your loss. I’m afraid the grief never goes away, but it does become blunted slightly by time.

      If I can help in any way whatsoever, please reach out privately. sp at this website.

      1. Festus

        Thank You.

    1. Bob Boberson

      Somehow it’s Trump’s fault his kid fell down went boom. No wonder Trump is a real estate tycoon, what with all that rent-free headspace he gets

    2. mikey

      What does rich have to do with it? You can’t control your toddler in public and it crashes into me I’m sure not apologizing.

    3. Mustang

      Twitter is supposed to be the streaming consciousness of the internet, but I cannot figure out how somebody goes from “my kid fell down” to…whatever that post is.

      1.) Kid falls
      2.) ???
      3.) Educated white people and/or Trump are to blame for my kid’s crying

      How do these people even get dressed in the morning?

      1. Rhywun

        Like much of Twitter, I bailed long before I could figure out WTF was being discussed.

        1. Mustang

          I had never actually looked at it until I followed the links people posted here. I still can’t figure how it ever became a thing.

          No, wait, I can, it’s just depressing to think about.

          1. MikeS

            It does have a few redeeming qualities, like:

            Bob Menery

    4. Gustave Lytton

      I’d love to know what he calls a fancy hotel really is.

      1. Festus

        Well, obviously a step above “The Itch Motel” or “Rooms”.

      2. Doesn’t have hourly rates.

      3. westernsloper

        They have foreign sounding names…………La Quinta for example.

    5. Count Potato

      I don’t get what happened.

    1. straffinrun

      Oh, and NSFW is you didn’t guess.

      1. Bob Boberson

        Since when can they show boobs on YouTube?

        1. CPRM

          Only if they are minority boobs shown in the context of the culture. So many youtube admins had to review this they forgot about the site’s standards?

      2. Festus

        Oh that’s just swell. I’m on another list.

    2. Count Potato

      From what is that?

      1. straffinrun

        Can’t find an English version. Title is something like, “Lumber Camp Female Killer, Killer.” Shrugs.

        1. Count Potato

          I can’t find anything on imdb.

    3. Nephilium

      Sweet zombie cheebus.

      What’s the name of that so I can look up the name of the amazing levels of terribleness that that film involves.

  12. Count Potato

    “A Sheriff’s department in Arkansas has denied forcing inmates to wear Nike t-shirts during their mugshots as a way to mock the sports giant’s support of former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick.

    Activist and columnist Shaun King first drew attention to the trend after perusing the Union County Sheriff’s Office’s website.

    Sharing a picture collage of 12 inmates wearing Nike shirts on Twitter and Facebook, he told his followers that officers were putting Nike t-shirts on people they arrest ‘to mock Nike and Colin Kaepernick. Disgusting.’

    Union County Sheriff Ricky Roberts denied any malicious intent, adding that the force would never “demean or disparage” anyone accused of a crime.

    He said in a statement that officers gave individuals who lacked “proper attire” the tops when they were booked into the jail so they had something appropriate to wear in mug shots.

    “I require that my staff treat everyone with the utmost dignity and respect,” he said in a statement. “We are not, and will not, be influenced by current political and social debates in the media.”

    Mr Roberts also apologised for offence that the mugshots had caused and confirmed plans to discontinue the use of the T-shifts.All the mugshots have since been taken offline.”

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/colin-kaepernick-nike-shirts-sheriff-mugshots-arkansas-nfl-trump-a8580451.html

    1. Can’t they all go fuck themselves?

      1. Festus

        A “Daisy Chain-Gang”?

        1. Tres Cool

          +1 Elephant-Walk

          1. Festus

            Now I have the song and the image stuck in my head. Outstanding!

          2. Festus

            I hate myself for loving you.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Union County Sheriff Ricky Roberts denied any malicious intent, adding that the force would never “demean or disparage” anyone accused of a crime.

      So, Ricky is saying they don’t do ‘perp walks’ in Union County?

    3. Rhywun

      Geez, could they fit more buzz-words into that URL?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        SEO is a cruel mistress.

        1. SP

          Amen, brother.

        2. Rhywun

          At some point, a search for “Trump” is just going to return the entire internet.

    4. “after perusing the Union County Sheriff’s Office’s website.”

      Uh-huh.

    1. Bob Boberson

      Its Britain. The government can arrest, fine and imprision you for any reason, at any time. The real question is when will we smarten up and emulate them?

      1. CPRM

        The only reason they never reverted back to a full monarchy is they are too pussy, they never even tried to erect barriers against that happening again.

        1. Bob Boberson

          At this point they would probably be better off. A king or queen is only one person. The myriad petty tyrants in their government are infinitly worse.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        You can be arrested, fined and imprisoned here for any reason, at any time. The only difference is the reasons the police use.

        1. Bob Boberson

          Good point

    1. Count Potato

      Wait, I thought you were busy tonight.

      1. At “A Simple Favor”. Bored to death. Posting remotely.

        1. westernsloper

          Posting tits remotely while on a date deserves some sort of Uber Shitlord award. That is next level right there.

        2. Chafed

          I have no idea what that is but you are a prince among men.

    2. westernsloper

      #41

      “Wut? I had to pee”

  13. Sour Kraut

    Not the Onion:

    Transgender man identifies as a dog

    His partner Andrew added: “I hang out and I provide him with lots of attention and tell him he is a good boy.[…]

    The gay couple claims that their three real dogs are “bio dogs,” which doesn’t mean they aren’t “real dogs.” He says he “identifies as a dog.”

    1. Jarflax

      If the couple is gay because the woman identifies as a man, why aren’t they practicing bestiality because she identifies as a woman?

      1. Jarflax

        dog
        d’oh it’s late

    2. Count Potato

      Posted earlier. No idea how someone feminine presenting is a “transgender man”.

  14. Vacuous Insight

    I have midterms this week. I’ll have exams in analysis, algebra, and statistics. Teaching is going fine. After a few days of teaching, I was no longer nervous. It’s odd how quickly you adapt to these things.

    1. CPRM

      So I’m guessing you don’t have a name that rhymes with ‘penis’ or ‘vagina’, that’s a good start.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Here’s a PROTIP from a veteran teacher: Once in a while, I’ll lecture with my fly open.

      Just to show the class who’s boss.

      1. CPRM

        But, the question that will answer if you’re really black or white, do you put hotsauce on it?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Because my dad’s from the islands, I use Matouk’s.

          1. Count Potato

            Which islands?

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Trinidad and Tobago.

      2. straffinrun

        And leave your students asking “Where’s the Genie?”

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          They never had a friend like me.

          1. Festus

            Watts chimp-out applause!

  15. CPRM

    Just to point out, Mike S. followed the lady’s advice, the rest of you are sexist!

  16. Count Potato

    “”Society hates women is the only conclusion I can come back around to.”

    @caseyjohnston discusses why women aren’t offered any kind of effective pain management following the often extremely painful process of IUD insertion”

    https://twitter.com/AM2DM/status/1051103259874611200

    Statistics have repeatedly shown that doctors are more likely to proscribe opiates to women.

  17. Mustang

    Financial question: I intend to start saving for a house. I’ve got a ten year timeline. Where should I put that money? Savings account? CD? Other options? I don’t want to be messing with it when it’s there, I just need it to be fairly secure and maybe have some compounding interest.

    1. MikeS

      There’s a type of saving account that my old financial guy told me about and now I can’t remember what it’s called. It’s kind of like a mini-401K; you put money in this mutual fund and you can pull it back out whenever you want. Hopefully someone else knows what I’m talking about.

      1. Mustang

        That’s kind of what I’m thinking, just don’t know what it is either!

      2. Nephilium

        A brokerage account? No tax benefits, but you can invest in whatever you want.

        1. MikeS

          No, it was a single fund of some kind. I am 80% sure it was a Franklin Templeton product. ??? Damn, it’s been too many years since he told me and I’ve also had to many beers…

          1. DEG

            I’ve also had to many beers…

            Unless you are driving having too many beers makes no sense.

          2. MikeS

            Valid point.

            *cracks another beer*

          3. DEG

            For you: G’Suffa! Prost!

    2. Count Potato

      Index funds.

      1. Mustang

        Is there a contribution limit? Our (wife and I) IRAs are maxed. We intend to set aside a good chunk of cash for this because I want to have a very small or no mortgage.

        1. Count Potato

          No, because it’s not regulated as a tax shelter. But you need to understand the difference between income and capital gains. Bond funds are another option, and muni bonds can avoid taxes. Diversification is good.

          My advice is speak with an accountant. Taxes and interest rates are complicated, and a mortgage can reduce your taxes. So bottom line you could have more money with a larger loan.

    3. CPRM

      Up your nose with a rubber hose? Probably offers the best return rate.

      1. Mustang

        There is a pretty big empty space for rent up there.

    4. Chafed

      Put it in a CD or CDs or a money market mutual fund. The most risk you would want to take is a short term bond fund and even that may be too much. This isn’t money you want at risk even with a 10 year time horizon.

      I have the same philosophy you do about not carrying a mortgage. I’ll just make one observation to you. If you have enough (i.e. 20% or more) for a down payment then you may want to consider buying a house. You can always pay more than your mortgage payment in order to reduce the principal balance.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Not sure if you can access VA home loans while still on AD. I never went down that road, but one advantage of a VA loan is that you don’t have to carry mortgage insurance on low/no down payments.

        1. Mustang

          Chafed, that’s kind of where I was leaning. We’ll have plenty to pay cash for a house if we can stick to this. I don’t want to purchase soon because, quite frankly, we don’t know where we want to buy a house and I’m not interested in renting it out.

          Gustave, to use the VA loan you have to occupy in the house within a certain timeframe to qualify (don’t remember if it’s six months or two years). It helps keep people from using it to bounce around for cheap while on AD. You can’t rent it out either. They want people living in the houses they’re subsidizing. If we do go for a mortgage, that’s one we’ll consider.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Yeah, that makes sense. Our non-VA mortgage has a similar owner-occupier requirement.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      MLK didn’t die for this shit.

    2. CPRM

      THIS COUNTRY IS FACING A BATH SALT EPIDEMIC!

    3. Rhywun

      And to think it was just yesterday I was wondering out loud how to go about smashing up a flat-screen TV. Apparently, one needs to become a complete psycho first. ✔️

  18. DEG

    Friday, Animal shares a visit to a shoot-y part of Massachusetts.

    Nantucket?

    Somewhere I have a picture of a shot-up road sign which I took on Nantucket. I was riding my bike around the island, saw the sign, and said, “WTF? No one will believe me that I saw a shot up road sign on Nantucket Island. I gotta take a picture of this.”

    I might even have scanned the picture into my computer. That was back when I was still taking pictures with a film camera.

    1. DEG

      Shit, it is on my computer.

  19. Count Potato

    “Such a sad state for Britain, people can’t stop being fat so the government decides to punish everyone instead by making the pizzas worse.”

    https://twitter.com/LilithLovett/status/1050920922146791424

    At least it isn’t pineapple.

    1. straffinrun

      A screen grab of some article about pizza. Fucking twitter makes headline scanning into an art. How about a link to it Spooky Nerd?

        1. straffinrun

          She told The Telegraph: “It could mean less meat on a pizza, it could mean less cheese, it could mean a smaller size. Consumers are saying they want smaller portions and healthier options.”

          They don’t really want what they are buying. Lol.

          1. SP

            Fake news. Consumers are sure as shit not saying they want less pizza goodness.

          2. Akira

            “Consumers are saying they want smaller portions and healthier options.”

            Bull fucking shit.

            I’ve been reading The Hidden Persuaders by Vance Packard – a very interesting book on marketing and advertising. One thing that ad men figured out way back in the ’50s is that there’s a huge disconnect between what people say they want and what they actually pursue when given the option.

            All these Lefty social “welfare” programs are always backed up with some assertion that “people want this anyway”. But why do you have to force them if that’s what they truly want?? If that’s what they really wanted, you wouldn’t have to force the market to provide it.

          3. Festus

            Tyranny by increments, it’s the right thing to do! Member when they designated smoking areas in a few places? Festus ‘members. Member when MADD started and used the most horrific examples to shame and shun people that liked to have a beer after work? Festus ‘members. Member how anti-rape strategists turned a worthy cause into a circus via title 9? Festus ‘members. Member how jackasses have continuously high-jacked the gun control debate? Oh you’d better believe Festus ‘members!

        2. Nephilium

          I’ve got a knife to protect anything you try to take off of my pizza.

    2. Chafed

      From what I have heard, it would take some real work to make British pizza worse.

  20. Gustave Lytton

    About half way through S3 of The Man in the High Castle. Still pretty good, even without Frank Spotnitz.

  21. Akira

    Waiting on my lasagna to come out of the oven… A pretty ordinary lasagna but with red sauce with lamb, spinach, and black olives. Got a whole magnum of Pinot Grigio to go with it.

    What are you deploranazis cooking tonight??

    1. Festus

      Superstitions, grudges and repressed memories with a side of paranoia. “Very good, Sir! And for the Lady?” I’ll have what he’s having, thanksoverymuch.

      1. Chafed

        You are having a tough night Festus (for obvious reasons). I don’t normally recommend drinking (yes, I know I am not the One True Glibertarian) but maybe tonight would be a good night for it.

        1. Festus

          Way, way ahead of you, Pal. I’m the speck on the horizon that left a loud of dust in my wake. Problem for me is sobering up enough for work tomorrow. I think I’ll crack another and contemplate on the tree of woe is me.

    2. Chafed

      Nothing. I had to eat out while child 2 attends a bar mitzvah reception. I had pizza with vegan sausage and pepperoncinis.

      1. Festus

        Everything you described sounds nightmarish. Like a fever dream, SF-inspired description from the heart of Hades. I am so glad that my girls are grown and gone and I mostly get left alone. Mostly…

  22. This is a few months old, now, but has anyone watched the YouTube show, “Cobra Kai”?

    1. Chafed

      I haven’t seen it but a few glibs said they like it.

    2. Sean

      Half way through and loving it. Highly recommended. ??

    1. Festus

      Nips are kinda weird.

    2. Chafed

      I’m a little afraid to ask where you saw this.