Moving slowly this morning after breaking my hip last night, stumbling around in an alcoholic daze. This will clearly disqualify me from being on the Supreme Court. However, my fingertips still work, so here’s links and snark for breakfast. Since I’m using the hair of the dog recovery method (because we have prodigious amounts of hair from the Wonder Dog all over the house), this post may get progressively more incoherent.

The best birthdays today are Ernest Walton, the physicist who not only split the nucleus, but was the co-inventor of the Cockroft-Walton voltage multiplier (a circuit I have used in many of my electronics projects), and Bruno Sammartino, the greatest wrestler ever. Don’t argue with me, you’re wrong.

The transformation of Whole Foods from progressive touchstone to Evil Empire has been a continuous source of amusement. Jeff Bezos is apparently less amused.

“DxE members have repeatedly entered our stores and property to conduct demonstrations that disrupt customers and team members by blocking access to our aisles, departments and cash registers, interfering with our business and putting the safety of both customers and team members at risk,” a Whole Foods representative said in a statement.

“We have been kicked out, we have had the police called on us, we have been ignored, and now there is [the Whole Foods] lawsuit,” said King, who was among those arrested on Saturday. “But Whole Foods just continues to escalate this rather than give us the answers to really simple questions.”

I always wonder where people who spend their time with this shit in ultra-expensive elite areas (in this case, Berkeley, where $3000 a month will get you a studio apartment in a crumbling building) get the money to support themselves. And since this protest is all about chicken rights, I am obligated to link this.

Oh, please please please please please!!!!! This will guarantee that SugarFree never runs out of material.

“Don’t let anyone fool you: If he decides to run, you will see a national infrastructure come together,” said the hotel magnate George Tsunis, an Obama megadonor. “In the past when he’s run, there has been a formidable primary opponent … If he chooses to run in 2020, he would be the Obama-Clinton-like candidate. I think people would feel his time is now, and I think a lot of the country would feel that we need a Joe Biden as president.”

Hat and Hair would be replaced by Tooth Caps and Hair Plugs.

In Chicago, protesters were all set for a “Not Guilty” verdict in the Jason Van Dyke trial. Imagine their disappointment when the murdering cop was found guilty, guilty, guilty. Well, no use letting that spoil the party, eh?

Demonstrators began peacefully protesting in downtown Chicago’s Loop area shortly after the verdict, chanting “Justice for Laquan, justice for all” and “The whole damn system is guilty as hell.” The crowds marched in the streets holding signs in support of Black Lives Matter and Laquan McDonald.

Scroll down for the photo of the protesters shutting down the street. Notice something interesting? Yeah, I did too.

And the next story also tickled me. Much as I virulently hate this guy’s politics, there’s no denying that Banksy is the real thing, a truly great artist. And here’s another example of why.

The ‘Girl with Balloon’ painting slid out of its frame, simultaneously shredding the canvas just as the final hammer signaled an end to the evening, according to international auction house Sotheby’s. It had sold for $1.4 million, matching a record for the artist first set in 2008.

The artist posted an image of the scene from the auction house on his Instagram account with the caption “Going, going, gone…”

Fuck, that’s wonderful.

Who was the presidential candidate who said, “Constitutional rights are subject to reasonable regulation” during the 2016 debates? Oh yeah, the Team Blue lady. Texas seems to agree and has invoked the FYTW exception to the First Amendment.

A campaign sign in Central Texas this week drew the scorn of an elected state official — and then it was confiscated by police. “I’m glad that I called out this offensive campaign sign and am pleased that hundreds of others did so as well,” [Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller] said. “It’s vulgar and just plain wrong and it had no place in someone’s yard visible from the street.”

A nice reminder that Team Red is just as happy to fuck with citizens’ rights as Team Blue.

In more sign news, there is a threat to the lives and safety of Minnesoda minorities. A teenager has vandalized an Arby’s sign!

The sign, posted overnight at the restaurant on Brooklyn Boulevard, featured the N-word and a derogatory term for a prostitute. Officers saw the sign at about 7 a.m. and took it down. The department says the sign is low enough to the ground that just about anyone can reach it.

Nazis preparing to storm the town, no doubt. It always starts with Arby’s.

Inevitably, Old Guy Music. And what better than having a Jew play Irish music? If you had been out with SP and me last night, you would have ended up at a cocktail emporium where this amazingly versatile (((guy))) held forth on pennywhistle, flute, guitar, mandolin, and violin, all with equal (and impressive) facility and skill. Irish music interspersed with Jethro Tull covers. I love America.