It was an early, cool spring day. I doubt that the daytime temperatures had even reached sixty degrees that day. For the most part it seemed like a typical Saturday at the fraternity house. We started early that day . . . well . . . we started early most days. Over the course of the evening I must’ve had about twenty-five Busch Lights. Nothing spectacular for an all day drinking fest, but I wouldn’t say I was at the peak of sobriety. I was still a freshman and still living in the dorms, at least nominally. The fraternity house was made to accommodate about 40 guys, but there were only about ten members at the time (that’s another story). So, I had my own room that I stayed in on nights that I obliged in the binge drinking. I stayed there most nights.
Truthfully, the day was rather uneventful. As usual, I was part of the last group still awake and drinking. It was probably about 4am and we had moved the party up from the basement to the couches in the living room. The TV was on, the lights were low, I had a Rolling Rock in my hand that had been stolen from my big brothers room. I was probably half a beer from calling it a night. I certainly didn’t think I’d be getting laid that night.
Pretty soon there was a commotion at the front door. A group of clearly intoxicated girls arrived. And not our usual girls who show up at 4am. Ashley came in and fell onto me, her head landing at my feet one the couch. She started snuggling with my feet and telling how much fun she had earlier that night. I had my shoes off, so essentially she was rubbing her face all over my socks. I have to admit, I was actually a little disgusted. I had athlete’s foot at the time and all I could think was that she was rubbing her face all over that. She was clearly there to see me and was quite aggressive. I remember my phrasing exactly when I drunkenly said, “ I’m going upstairs to get another beer, you can come if you want.” (Now that’s a pick up line). I guess I was a little surprised when she said yes, but I can’t say I wasn’t happy. I got up and she grabbed my hand. I lead her up the stairs and into the bedroom.
Let’s take a step back for a minute and gather some background on some things. First things first, and do I hesitate in admitting this, but I was a virgin at the time. My college friends didn’t know that. Well, they might have suspected, but I never volunteered the information. I wasn’t completely inexperienced, I had done everything but sexual intercourse. Also, Ashley lived exactly one floor above me in the dorms. Her roommate was in my social circle, so I knew her relatively well. Well enough that I had a small crush on her. I had always suspected she had a crush on me too. The week before, while I was drinking at the fraternity house, she slept with my roommate. I’ll have more on that later. But for now, let’s just say that I was a little disheartened that she had slept with him and not me. I wasn’t in love with her, but I knew he didn’t care at all, so there was a little sting.
When we reached the bedroom I shut the door. We started making out immediately. I casually broke her hold and grabbed another Rolling Rock, opened it and took a swig. I was nervous and I needed that moment of regularity, that pattern and feeling of normalcy to calm my nerves. I can’t exactly remember, but I assume I offered her some. I couldn’t have taken two more swigs before I was accosted and thrown on the couch. I didn’t mind. We were making out and doing some heavy petting for a few minutes. Clothes were coming off a piece at a time. Not in a fast and furious way that you see in movies, but steadily we were becoming more and more naked.
At the point that there weren’t anymore clothes blocking the way, she began touching me intimately. I returned the favor. A few minutes later, I went down on her. I was fairly experienced at that and, again, it gave me a sense of normalcy, it let me remain confident. I was building up to the moment I would lose my virginity. I was nervous, I was happy, I was elated.
I was certain that she was more experienced than me. I mean, she had a one night stand with my roommate the weekend before. That added to the pressure that I was experiencing. As I started to fumble my way through the process of losing my virginity, I got as far as resting my penis against her vulva. Was this it? Was this going to be the moment? No, it wasn’t. I was drunk, I was tired, I was limp.
As I knelt against the edge of the couch, looking down Ashley, I realized I didn’t want to do this. At least not at this time, not in this place, and not in this way. In that split second of clarity, I knew that I didn’t want to lose my virginity drunk, half-erect, and on a filthy frat house couch at 4am. As cliché as it sounds, I wanted it all to be more special. Also, I didn’t want to have a quick fling with Ashley. I liked Ashley. I ask her out on a date and see if we could have something more.
She seemed fine with stopping at that point. She was tired and drunk too and it was time for bed. We got half dressed and crawled up onto my mattress in the loft above us. It was a small twin bed in a cold drafty room. She snuggled into my arms and I fell asleep quickly.
About 2 hours later, probably close to 7am, she attempted to wake me. I wasn’t fully cognizant yet and was definitely still drunk. She asked if I would walk her back to the dorms. What I should have said was, “No, It’s 7am and I’m tired and drunk. We’re both minors, we live in a zero tolerance county. I just went to jail last month for a minor consumption charge. Several of my friends have gone to jail for minor consumption charges while walking back to the dorms. It’s cold outside and a terrible idea. I’d like you to stay here with me for a few more hours and I’ll happily walk you back then.” But that’s not what I said. I uttered out, “no, but you can leave if you want.” I rolled over and fell back asleep. Now, I do realize that on the surface that looks a little rude. But, I didn’t mean to be so rough, I was drunk and groggy. I was awoken suddenly from a deep drunken sleep and not ready to answer any questions. I really didn’t think that she would gather her belongings and leave, but apparently she did.
I woke up several hours later and realized Ashley was gone. I felt a little odd about it all, but figured that’d all work out. I was hoping that I could talk to her later and maybe arrange a date, or at least talk. When I went downstairs it seemed like everyone in the house knew I had gotten laid. I was young and dumb, so I let them believe we went all the way. I didn’t tell them that it only ended up going as far as me going down on her. I let them believe we had intercourse. When I got back to the dorms, I told my roommate that I had slept with her too. I chalk that up to being young, stupid, and insecure.
I can’t recall if it was that day or a few days later when her roommate Casey knocked on the door of my room. I do remember being floored when Casey asked if I had raped Ashley. She elaborated that Ashley had told her that I had raped her that night. She told me that Ashley elaborated that not only had I raped her, but I kicked her out afterwards and made her walk home in the cold. Again, I never kicked her out, I phrased an answer to a question very poorly in my incoherent state. I explained the situation Casey in full detail. I told her that not only there not been a single no uttered throughout the night, but that Ashley was the aggressor in all of it. Casey clearly believed me, going as far as hand waiving the entire situation away. Saying, “that’s just the way Ashley gets when she’s drunk.” “She blacks out sometimes when she’s drinking.” But none of that really helped.
I can’t describe the vast amount of emotions and thoughts that ran through my head. “How can this be? I’ve never hurt anyone! How can she think that happened? We didn’t even have sex! Hell, I’m a virgin! I kind of like her, why would I screw that up? This can’t be happening! What the fuck is going on? Shit, am I going to jail? Am I getting kicked out of school?” A million other thoughts in a similar vane passed through my head over the next few weeks. She never approached me directly. No police reports were filed. That didn’t stop her from telling others though. Now I won’t say that she ran around campus telling everyone everything. She didn’t. But she did tell her circle of friends. I knew all of the girls in that circle. I would have casually called them my friends before this incident. They stopped talking to me. They looked at me with disgust when they walked by. They stopped dropping by the frat house on the weekends.
My friends all stayed by my side through the ordeal. A few of them saw her when she showed up at the house that night. They saw her snuggle with my feet. They saw that she was the instigator and aggressor. The ones who didn’t witness the event had no doubts either, they knew that I could never do anything like that. One of them confronted her about it. She straight up told him that she was blackout drunk, but she just knew what I had done.
She sent me an email a few years ago. She apologized. She said that she had been blackout drunk that night and just assumed the worst when she woke up. She told me that she had talked to a mutual friend and my version of events was much more plausible than what she had conjured up in her head. The email seemed sincere, and it did make me feel better, but I never responded.
This all happened in the early aughts at a small college in the midwest. I can’t image what would have happened to me if this had happened in today’s environment, especially on the coasts. I still have a chip on my shoulder about the incident. I still worry that she’ll decide to #metoo me any day. In the current environment and with the way memories can change over time, I can’t help but worry. Even with her email apology on file, it could still completely upend my life. Isn’t it amazing that we live in a time that well over a decade later I’m still scared that she could ruin my life.
As an addendum: In that email she sent. I found out that she lost her virginity to my roommate the in that encounter the week before ours. She wasn’t as experienced as I thought. Apparently, she had a crush on me too. That night she had gotten blackout drunk, went looking for me, couldn’t find me, and fucked my roommate. It looks like under different circumstances we could have had a relationship. It’s probably best that we didn’t.
* names have been changed to protect the privacy of all parties involved.
Finger bangin’ mary Jane rotten-crotch
-R. Lee Ermy
Now hit that mother-fkin’ Theme Music !
You always have theme music by someone I have never heard of. Good stuff. And to stay on topic, whats her face number one liked to do the dirty while Neil Young spun on ye old phonograph. Doubt she would #MeToo me though.
Give old Neil a new spin .
This one is more my style.
Nice. But I aint gonna lissen to all of it.
*SLD
Good. Because this is superior.
Listen to all of it, Tres.
I need to get that – perusing at Soundike now….
How is the rest?
BTW both versions are worth listening to the end.
Are you talking about Box of Birds?
It’s fucking awesome. Buy it.
Yes.
OK, done. I recognize two other tracks by name, at least.
Cool. I wish they would do some of these at their live shows. Going to see them in 2 weeks in St. Paul. 30th anniversary of Starfish, so I expect it to be heavily weighted toward that one.
Which is just fine.
Ugggggggggghhhhhhh
Its too early in the week for nod-off-from-a-hot-spike music.
Try this.
Its like Stewart Copeland went to Montreal. And they had a heroin crisis a decade ago…unpossible!
I thought this was gonna be all “dear penthouse…I never thought this would happen to me”. Then you went and got all serious. Boo. ?
a small college in the midwest
pretty much ended it that way, though
“but I never responded.”
Excellent choice. And save a copy of the email.
And save a copy of the email.
Great advice.
Yeah, but ultimately you’re going to have to hope that your ISP has backups of the mail server’s data going back to the time of the original email. I think your copy of an email isn’t really proof of anything. So your saving it is only a reminder that the original exists on a mail server somewhere.
+1
I’m actually kinda curious about that sort of thing. How does one go about preserving a legally provable piece of electronic evidence like that, metadata and all? We’re seeing, almost four decades later, this crap can come back to bite you in the ass. What if your email provider goes under and can no longer respond to subpoena? What if the accuser simply denies your piece of paper, or your .pdf?
There are a number of ways to prove it.
Print it.
See: U.S. Patent# 5515451
Or, a picture of you in front of the monitor giving a thumbs up and holding a copy of that day’s newspaper.
So you are saying you’re a kidnapper?
Is that a specialist in getting children to sleep?
I’m no expert in Photoshop, but isn’t the first rule of Photoshop club that everything is photoshopped?
Anything that you see can be photoshopped.
But…. if you provide the original digital picture file, proving the authenticity is trivial. It might cost you a thousand bucks to pay for an expert, but that beats having your life ruined.
There are but a handful of entities capable of undetectable forgery, and they’re not available for hire to you or me.
You’d think that’d be enough, but there’s no believing the man and no redemption in this movement. Legally, I I know it was good to keep it, but I’m not worried about that anymore ( I was for several years, but the statute of limitations would eliminate that possibility now).
It’s the politics of personal destruction: getting charged is almost beside the point. Ruining your reputation, your marriage, your livelihood, your relationships with everyone you know, marking your children for life, and ultimately, encouraging your suicide: those are the scalps they’re after, not a mere criminal conviction.
This. Most false rape accusations aren’t made to the police.
Huh. Whoda thunk that young people with raging hormones, access to mind and mood altering substances, and their first real taste of freedom might discover that sex is copmlicated and the lines aren’t so clear. Glad the people around you were rational and didn’t turn it into a warlock hunt.
When this he-said she-said stuff and #BelieveHer stuff comes up, I remind folk I’m batting a thousand:
100% of the affidavits sworn against me contained lies.
I don’t assume all women lie, but I maintain a posture and a perimeter that is hardened for that possibility.
The other day I remembered an episode from high school where I’d stayed the night at a party where the parents were there, and the next morning the girl who’s house it was kind of half-way accused me of forcing myself on my girlfriend at the time, who had stayed in the room with me part of the night. She said her parents told her they’d heard a girl yelling, “Stop”, to which I replied that not only was that not my girlfriend, and not only did she not spend the night with me, but I didn’t hear anything of the kind. I go back through my teens and 20s now with a fine-toothed comb.
If it’s any consolation, I’d vote to confirm you.
Confirm me for what?
Same as it ever was, bang.
Thanks for writing this up. I’m guessing more than a few of us have similar stories.
Growing up is really fucking challenging. The craziness of pound me too makes it so much worse.
Thank you for the article, I hope you still like beer and I’d vote to confirm you if you got nominated. Seriously though, thank you and I’m glad it didn’t go as badly as it could have.
*
I do still like beer . . . all beer, I’d still even drink a Busch Light
Even banana-flavoured Belgian beer?
As long as its not a wheat beer . . .
I felt sympathy for you until I read that.
I had to necro-post to agree with HM here. banginglc1 is clearly a rape monster.
Ugh. But whatever. We did this a few days ago, but it deserves a repeat:
More Beer.
More beer you say?
https://youtu.be/yQ-Ukh_Eaa8
https://youtu.be/8i5k4I1AOEI
Thanks for the article, Judge Kavanaugh.
I’ve had a few consensual, yet decidedly not sober, dalliances in the last few years. Afterward I’m always filled with a sense of dread. How well do I know this woman? She seems nice enough but if I decide I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship, all she has to do is breath the “R” word and I’m ruined, my job, my reputation,…..and the burden of proof will be on me.
I’ll never forget the utter bullshit I was fed in military SARC training…..” Even if she’s only had one drink she can’t give consent.” Fuck. Off. She has no less agency than I.
Thanks poundmetoo you’ve added another ugly, complex layer to a ritual that’s mostly devoid of any reason at it’s simplest form.
I had an encounter a couple years ago with a married woman, a friend of a friend. (In my defense, it’s a highly dysfunctional marriage and they should have split up years ago. And I was hardly the first.) She admits it to her husband the next day, and he blows up my friend’s phone accusing her of trying to split them up by introducing us. Then he starts insinuating I’d drugged her because she was being coy about what all went on. That was an unsettling afternoon.
Thats one road I haven’t gone down for that exact reason. I’ve had several married women approach me; “we have an arrangement etc, etc.”
My reaction has always been “Yeah, you may well have one but I want no part of it.”
Not judging, just sharing.
In retrospect, not worth it. But we’d been drinking and it was a fun evening.
OT: New gun. A completely new design not just refashioning the classic designs. I’m not sure about the total ammo carrying capacity but the 4 bullets at once is good in a pinch.
What do you guys think?
Another battery to have die at an inopportune moment.
Is that block ejected after each shot? What’s the capacity? How long is the battery good for? Does electric ignition work at all temperatures? Are the electronics waterproof?
The Army is looking into it, but it looks great
While I’ll admit it’s different, there is no evidence provided that it is better than conventional. Not even counting the costs of converting to a dramatically different design from a logistics standpoint, if there’s no concrete improvement, there’s no reason to discuss the matter.
‘The Army is looking into it’ can mean a lot of things. In this case, it probably means that some local from Fort Carson said, “Cool!” when the inventor was describing it in a bar.
The block also looks massively wasteful in materials versus suaged brass.
That’s why I’m curious if it’s single use. I’m not seeing a lot of advantages.
Also, is that huge brick jutting out the side the magazine?
It is, isn’t it.
A lot of weight off to one side is going to make that awkward to fire. And is it built to swap to the other side for a lefty?
Looking at the magazine layout, I see another issue.
Conventional feed, each cycle of the action takes the same time. Pull the trigger, action cycles. This design is going to stutter, every four rounds it’s going to have to switch from eacy “next chamber” to ejecting the block and pulling a new block from the brick. I don’t know how long that takes, or what the mechanism is since this guy seems allergic to simple solutions, but it does not give me warn, fuzzy feelings that are hard to articulate into what will go wrong because of it.
That’s so you can brain the enemy when the thing malfunctions.
And it is going to malfunction. Mud, Dust, Sand, extended time in the field, rust, cut off from supply, bullets and shrapnel and showers of dirt flying at you. There are too many bad conditions we know about and a million things you dont see coming. Take one of those into the shit and pretty soon you will be defenseless.
Simple, reliable mechanical stand-alone technology is what you need. Something uyou can count on. There is a reason guys in Vietnam would trade their M-16’s for M1928A1’s if they got the chance. Plentiful ammo, blistering firepower and you cant make it stop working if you try.
No. Too many things can go wrong.
No. That article was written by someone that uses miles per hour to measure bullet speed, i.e. they have no idea what they are talking about.
The best battle rifle in history is the Springfield M-14. Anything else is second best.
You just pissed off a lot of Garand fans.
M-14 = Garand + removable box magazine
I liked an M-14 too but most of the old guys swear by an M-1. By the ’70s it was fire power as opposed to accuracy but I never caught the M-16 bug, though I had one in VN in ’71.
I am a big fan of both the M1 and M14. I was never a big fan of the M16. I want something that is hit to really know it. In 2003 my battalion was short long arms so I received permission to use AKMS for convoy security until M16s arrived in mid November. We got many odd looks from the Iraqis.
The best battle rifle in history is the M4A3 SOPMOD Block II. Fight me.
How do you zero the thing?
First get four bore sighting lasers…
Totally. “Hmm, am I on the barrel with 3″ of bore offset, or the one with 2″ of bore offset?”
It’s a joke. And the performance numbers were pulled out of someone’s ass.
It’s a problem with being intoxicated in mixed company. Through lowered inhibitions, you get yourself in situations in which you can be accused of something like this, regardless of the (relative) levels of inebriation of the parties involved. I know I’ve put myself in those situations more than once. I suspect most guys have.
Even if you haven’t done anything, it can be scary. I remember drinking till I fell asleep on the floor at a friend’s place, I got lucky the last thing i remembered was being on the floor while the girls were awake and trying to make Mac and Cheese in the kitchen.
“…twenty-five Busch Lights…”
There is the crime right there, and you are worried some chick could ruin your life?
If you’d have had 25 Corona Lights, well the girls would just want to go shopping with you.
We drank solely Old Style at parties during the fall semester. Then Busch came out with 30 packs but the price stayed the same as when they were 24 packs (we were a test market). We were quite happy to be able to put the Old Style off to the side. $10.50 for 30 at Wal_mart. How can you beat that?
On a college Boi budget at that.
“How can you beat that?”
Pour it back in the horse?
I am pulling your chain, banging. I drank oceans of cheap shitty beer in college.
It’s kind of funny to look back and think about how we used to consider MGD “good” beer back then . . .Beacuase it’s so much different than the Busch Light
Currently $13.99/30 Milwaukee’s Diet Beast.
#AskMeHowIno
I can get Hamm’s for 11.99. And Cook’s “Beer Flavored Malt Beverage” used to be even cheaper before it disappeared from my local store
“beer flavored malt beverage” is something I have yet to encounter.
Challenge accepted!
Thank you for writing this harrowing account. As a Mom of a 27 year old single firefighter (guy) who is apparently devastatingly attractive to crazy RNs, I worry about this stuff all the time. (Not to mention being married to OMWC!)
You would think all these women would stop and wonder, “Could my husband/brother/son/Dad be swept up in this BS?” But it seemingly never enters their heads.
Fake news.
8 year olds can’t have 27 year old sons.
She borrowed John Titor’s Time Machine. Trust me, I know these things.a
I see.
OT: For some unknown reason this showed up on my YouTube J-Pop playlist.
https://youtu.be/sr–GVIoluU
Naturally you immediately came to mind while I reached for the next track button… Why Japan? Why?
They didn’t make songs like this when Obama was President.
#MAGA
Good point!
When I first went to college in 2010, dearest mother unit gave me two pieces of advice, one was taking the Mike Pence route towards relationships, and second was to wrap it up if business went down. She was worried about this even 8 years ago. I’d have to tell my future son to be a ascetic monk at the rate things are going.
“become an ascetic monk”
That wont make any difference. This is shaping up to be a real reign of terror. No one is safe. Facts dont matter. If you are perceived to have the wrong politics you will be having a date with Madame Guillotine.
True that, at the end of the day it’s the politics that’s being “investigated”.
It was awful to live through . . .Horrible to think about . . . and Uncomfortable to share.But It seemed like something I should share to help emphasize that there is another side to many of these #metoo stories
?
yeah, sure, but can he cook ?
Yes. Very well.
*lights Jesse signal*
Jesse can just back the fuck off.
Sweet!
*Looks around for bookie*
I’m giving odds.
I think it’s very odd.
Not your type, I’m afraid. And I can’t judge his attractiveness quotient anyway. I’m just going by the evidence these women present to me.
He works for an Upstate NY city fire department.
Yet.
What part?
Don’t worry… I only ask because those were my stomping grounds back in the day.
I wouldn’t worry about you meeting him. Well, I’d worry on your behalf. You seem nicer.
He’s in WNY, in a city I know you’d recognize.
Yeah, I am intimately familiar with everything west – and much to the north – of Syracuse. From that point east and south until about Midtown Manhattan, less so.
This is how Brett Kav met his wife.
SuperAmerica beef-stick! Buy it by the yard!
My 95-y/o grandmother is 100% convinced Ford’s a hussy and Kav’s innocent. Even dad was perturbed by her vehemence, and he’s convinced she’s lying, too.
Of course. All of the allegations are fabrications. This is about keeping Trump from getting another SC pick, plain and simple. Stop him by any means necessary. Cavanaugh’s reputation as a boy scout wasn’t even a bump in the road. Get a bunch of people to make McMartin Pre-school style allegations, muddy up the water with a bunch of double speak and unfalsifiable allegations and you have the mob foaming at the mouth. Monk, boy scout, life-long hermit…it doesnt matter. It’s a howling mob.
And the longer they keep putting off the vote the more it’s working. Even if this causes team red to show up in droves in the mid-terms, does it even matter? If they won’t stand up and fight back it doesn’t matter how big their majority is or isn’t.
This is something we should all rush out and buy.
//sarc
That seems… dubious.
But it’s on sale! Or so they claim.
That’s their full price!
BREAKING: Alien recovered at Roswell to testify that he was sexually assaulted by Brett Kavanaugh at drunken frat party.
NewWife and I visited her alma mater over the weekend, and she was talking about how wheels-off growing up is. She said she made a mountain of mistakes: misunderstandings, things that could have gone any way, could have gone real bad; she doesn’t think all that risk somehow is strictly the male concern. She figures we all get a little banged up in the corners (NHL or NASCAR, take that any way you prefer). Going off to school: you don’t know anything, you can’t predict much; you can manage even less. She doesn’t feel things are anyone’s fault necessarily in the normal ways of the world. She suspects the testimony against K is true, but she doesn’t think that’s a a huge deal or remotely disqualifying. She thinks Trump is a child and Kav is probably not her ideal bridge partner, but she just doesn’t think kidstuff should wreck your life. Wear a condom, talk things through, it will work out. I don’t know how many women she speaks for.
ITS COCKTOBER ????? AND IF YOU?? ARE GETTING THIS??? IT MEANS UR A HALLOWEEN ?? HOE????
BOO!! Sorry did I scare you?! WASSUP GURL??? ITS COCKTOBER ????? AND IF YOU?? ARE GETTING THIS??? IT MEANS UR A HALLOWEEN ?? HOE???? every year in Cocktober the jack o slut? comes to life???????? coming to harvest ??? his hoes for THOT-O-WEEN??????? send this to 10 other Halloween Hoes or else you a TRICK??? ? IF YOU GET 4 BACK UR A THOT-O-WEEN TREAT? IF YOU GET 6 BACK UR A SLUTTY WITCH BITCH??✨? BUT IF YOU GET 10 BACK UR THE SPOOKIEST SLUT ON THE BLOCK??⚰???? If you don’t send this to 1️⃣0️⃣other thots??? you will get NO DICK ? this COCKTOBER???
I’m reading this as “Be sure to drink your Olvatine”. Did my decoder ring work?
Does this mean that Sam Adams Winter Lager is on the truck headed to a store near me?
Nope. Not until Ho-vember.
* grimaces quietly and maturely; adjusts watch *
Fake news. Im waiting until ThiccsGiving .
Sadly, each of them women are what I’d call waifs.
LOL my old roommate and I had one of these cards on our fridge – not this one, some event in the Bronx – that we picked up somewhere during a drunken crawl around lower Manhattan maybe 20 years ago. “MS. THICK-ASS INVITATIONAL”.
Ghost of Thiccsgiving Past
I’m pretty sure HM is MySpace friends with loads of teenage girls and copies this shit verbatim from messages he gets.
It’s it my fault some folks want to live the DD/LG lifestyle 24/7?
Designated Driver/ Lucky-GoldStar ?!
Sure, let’s go with that.
UD informs otherwise. Good lord. Is that what Kav meant on his calendar entry for June 18?
Omg
Where the thots at, fam?
Remember, every time you yawn in October, a ghost sticks his cock in your mouth.
I am proud that I have never had a sexual encounter that didn’t involve intoxication.
Does the candy that you’re handing out to the kids really count as intoxicating?
It’s… special candy. IYKNIMAITYD.
Does being drunk on love count?
Sex without intoxicants must be like sex with the lights on. Nobody needs that.
You’d think that an orgasm on nitrous would be amazing. It isn’t.
#hertoo
https://archive.is/6nLlk/bd1d5a669c16c69eb05f8ab3281d26f6b6d1fef6
#themtoo
https://archive.is/HUhzX/128b535f64f242542a981f43647601edb0310418?retry=1
#hertoo
https://tse1.explicit.bing.net/th?id=OIP.BPasiTrLy0nhNyZKrlvL0AHaLH&pid=Api
NSFW.
#believeher
http://myboobsite.com/photosa/sarah-nicola-randall-h-cup-bikini-boobs-3.jpg
NSFW.
#menaretrash
https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/monday-shmunday-its-time-for-flbp-40-photos-40.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600
Eugh. That’s a bit much.
You don’t like girls with tits the size of your head?
Look, man, there is something called “proportionality”. It’s a key element of beauty.
Gimme tiny tits and big nips over aggressively oversized breasts any day.
That’s no more proportional.
More for me.
Bollocks, I didn’t say freakish nips. Just relatively big.
Never liked the big areolas, though.
So now Brett K. was in a bar fight in 1985. Really, guys? Really?
Keep throwing shit against the wall and see what sticks. Now they’re gonna work the “problems with alcohol” angle.
I wish we could resurrect Andrew Jackson and nominate him for a high office. I wanna see the people today deal with a guy who had more mercury in him than a thermometer from duels.
Previously I commented on Flake’s nose, and compared mine to his. Mine has been broken 3X and still looks better. Those 3 times werent done by me.
Heaven forbid I tried to get through a confirmation hearing.
#Roadhouse
LOL
That’s a frightening story, but thanks for sharing.
I was in a fraternity in college in the early 00s, but if I had a son I would never let him join one now. Way too dangerous with the current moral panic, especially on college campuses. It’s amazing how much college life has changed in a decade.
You know, at least at my fraternity house, women were safer. We watched out for them. We took care of them when they drank too much. We kept guys from taking advantage of the clearly too wasted to consent girls.. We kicked creepy dudes out. We beat the living shit out of a guy who did take advantage of a girl in our bathroom. And not just girls we knew well, but we treated women with a lot more respect than we would ever get credit for. Maybe my house was different, bubt we like women and wanted them to be as comfortable as possible with us.
Side note My advise to anyone who’s in college and wants more girls to show up to your parties . . . keep your bathroom clean. We had more compliments on our bathroom than anything else.
Same thing. The brothers kept it safe.
But, an accusation against a fraternity member is more likely to be believed and the house could be closed on the accusation alone.
Cool.
I wasn’t in that scene. My only frat memories concern one skeezy roommate, several riotous underage parties, and a couple boys who gave me seriously mixed messages. Ah, college.
Crazy times.
In all honesty my biggest concern in college was getting scurvy. I barely ate a vegetable for those four years.
So you’re saying you ate out Terri Shiavo?
To the guy who jizzed in my guest bathroom after the last Glibertarians.com meetup:
I am so mad. To the guy who jizzed in my guest bathroom, learn to clean up after yourself.
I just wanted to take a shit and I opened the door to find enough jizz to feed an entire village of Africa. Not only that, but it was all over the floor, the toilet seat cover, the walls, everywhere EXCEPT the fucking toilet bowl. Is it that hard to aim your dick at the goddamn bowl before you nut? It’s like someone exploded a bottle of ranch dressing all over the place. Fuck.
And it smelled FUCKING HORRIBLE. What the fuck did you eat, six pounds of skunk carcasses? I opened the door and not only did I get assaulted by the sight of the brand new paint job on the walls and floor, but also by the stench, which was comparable to getting stabbed in the nostrils by a frozen and sharpened piece of dogshit –actually, I think I’d prefer the dogshit.
You put Chernobyl and Hiroshima to shame with the intensity of the nuclear catastrophe you unleashed upon my bathroom . I feel like being exposed to it has single handedly subtracted 7 years from my lifespan. I can feel my cells deteriorating as we speak. There are no words for the sheer emotional and mental damage you inflicted on my being. This jizz has offended not only my senses, but it has touched my very soul and brought me several steps closer to the eternal fires of Hell. Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, you broke me.
Either learn to cum in the toilet bowl or just stop fucking nutting in my bathroom if I invite you over. You are an adult, PLEASE nut somewhere other than the walls and floor and save my Brazilian maids the trouble of cleaning up your radioactive baby juice. I swear to fucking God, if I ever find out who you are, I am cutting your dick off and tossing it into the fires of an active volcano in the hopes that it will never hurt another living being ever again.
FUCK you and your dick.
Also, I think it was Los Doyers.
Jus’ sayin’.
Nah. He’s squared away. Dropped off 5 Pliny the Elders at my house not 3 hours ago. Would a person willing to bring beer to my house… oh…. Yeah, he probably did it.
But did he use the decorative towel to wipe himself off?
Even worse . . did he use those fancy little decorative soaps that look like sea shells?
He used all three seashells!
Oh no…
Wut? Those are decorative?
That’s what happens when you sous vide and reverse sear skunk.
So you’re saying it was Playa?
Playa is skilled in the art – no pathogens remain.
Enough jizz to feed the entirety of Africa is impressive.
Not all heroes wear capes
It wasn’t six pounds of skunk carcasses, it was my signature mixture of asparagus and sauerkraut mixed with kimchi. And your mom loves the taste.
Long lunch, think I’ll take a peek at Glibs. *slowly backs out of room*
Thanks HM
“Clapping has been banned at University of Manchester Students’ Union events to avoid triggering anxiety and improve accessibility. Students are instead encouraged to use “jazz hands” to express their support.”
https://twitter.com/BBCNWT/status/1046729798519848960
What?
Then you must give a loud Booing noise to any presenter who does not mock this policy.
I remember the “jazz hands” thing from a few years ago. Practically the dawn of the SJW era.
Oh, you said jazz hands. I misheard. Please don’t metoo me.
up-twinkles and down-twinkles.
What is the point in trying to make fun of these people? Just watch them and laugh.
“Should anonymous social media accounts be banned?”
https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1046316602495569920
No.
Should the guardian be shuttered?
Trick question?
Worst fucking publication in existence.
Classmate my age (early 30s) told me about the low-T treatment he underwent… they inject a load of testosterone balls into your ass? I don’t know, man… that seems pretty gay.
Agreed
Next time, he should go to a doctor.
Er what? That’s not the usual treatment but NTTIATWWT.
Yeah…. I think he might have been….. I can’t find the right word.
I don’t know. It was something about pellets injected into the fat in his glutes. Seems dodgy to me.
Interesting. ~ 4 month dose vs. daily application for the gels. Perhaps more importantly, no risk of incidental contact with the women in your life.
Downside will be the dosing won’t truly be level – high at the beginning, he’ll probably be dragging near the end of that 4th month.
Just get the gel, and apply it somewhere safe.
It’s on my to do list.
I’ve seen the Glibs call for articles and thought I have nothing to add – but maybe I do?
I’ve been on HRT for well over a decade (and I’m still sub-50), so if you have questions…
(though I have to hit the rack – I’ll peek back tomorrow)
I do. 39. My T isn’t what it used to be, but I’m pretty sure a blood test will show that it isn’t low.
Where do I find a doctor who will work with that? Anti-aging clinic?
I’m not sure I can help with that, though an anti-aging clinic sounds like a good start.
I was (am?) legit hypogonadic[1], testing just below the lowest-low of the “normal” range. Something to keep in mind is that range is really broad, though I belive the low-end is now higher than it was:
https://www.endocrine.org/news-room/current-press-releases/landmark-study-defines-normal-ranges-for-testosterone-levels
The harmonized normal range for testosterone in a non-obese population of European and American Men, 19-39 years, is 264-916 ng/dL.
(That’s from 2017 – I participated in that study).
When I was diagnosed there was only one study used to determine “normal” ranges and it had known flaws – in particular, it included men as old as 70.
ISTR that the low end used to be more like 220/230; that’s all to say, make sure your doctor is aware of the new ranges – you may indeed be low.
I was fortunate that my primary happens to focus on men’s health (long story), otherwise I might have just gotten “you’re just getting older”. That was the answer my older brother got.
[1] I suddenly lost muscle mass, I was falling asleep at my desk even after sleeping 9+ hours the night before, zero sex drive, etc. Cause – who knows? Genetics, environment, even lifestyle could contribute.
“Six-Year-Old School Children Instructed to Write Gay Love Letters to Make Them ‘Accepting of Diversity’
A video published by the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) showing 6-year-old school children being instructed to write gay love letters has been causing a stir on social media.
The video, originally uploaded to BBC Radio Manchester’s Facebook page, shows young children at Bewsey Lodge Primary School being instructed to write love letters from “Prince Henry” to his manservant, “Thomas”, with the teacher instructing her pupils: “You’re going to tell Thomas why it’s a brilliant idea for him to marry you.”
“This school teaches children about LGBT relationships from an early age,” enthuses the BBC’s subtitled commentary.
“This class of six-year-olds is learning about gay marriage. In this fairytale, the Prince wants to marry his [male] servant. And the children are writing a love letter.””
https://www.breitbart.com/london/2018/10/01/6-year-old-school-children-write-gay-love-letters-accepting-diversity/
TW: Breitbart
I’d have loved to be given that assignment.
If I were gay I’d be pretty pissed that all the SoCons who used to say that the “gay agenda” promoted pedophilia are being proven right by SJWs who probably aren’t even gay.
TBF, one anecdotal (and yes hugely inappropriate) overreach doesn’t say much.
TBF?
To be frank. He pretends that he’s Frank.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRYuYdlR3iQ
Ninja’d
Quiet, you.
I got no time for swapping loads, I’m in a jam.
So he drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon?
Sorry – lazy
to be fair
Is it a “public” (private) school?
ROFL. So the Prince is proposing to his servant? And the teacher thinks this is an appropriate lesson to teach? “Dear Thomas, I don’t know your orientation or whether you are attracted to me, but as your master, and future sovereign allow me to suggest that life would be better if the answers to those questions are 1. Thomas is super gay, and 2. Thomas wants to call me Daddy. You will find your new uniform in the #10 envelope on your new bed. The stanchions are adjustable, but I did remove the quick releases from the restraints. XXXOOO Prince Henry
Used to be they executed people for this sort of slander.
/middle ages
But did he drink one too many beers in high school?
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/andrew-gillum-staffer-fired-after-calling-for-trumps-execution-wearing-shirt-deriding-pro-trump-states
“In one 2013 post, Orozco-Ballestas wrote to Trump: “you need to be executed.””
I want to know this guy’s stock picks for 2021.
Tesla and Kodak.
LOL Kodak… as a child of upstate NY that one hurts
At least he didn’t say Xerox.
/former Xerox
employeecontractor.Where are the skwerlz when you need them?
Yup, we had a Xerox presence too. No clue what became of them, to be honest. Unlike the well-known if only because it was closer to home laughingstock that Kodak became.
Why do Reps call for his firing? I’d be like, “Look at this guy who’s still working for Gillum.”
“Studies show the single most effective way to encourage people to vote is to talk to them in person or on the phone in the days just before the election.”
https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1046781369748140032
This is like getting fitness advice from Micheal Moore.
Read the replies. Twitter isn’t completely awful (this one time)
Early voting in Iowa starts 29 days before election day — that puts crimp in your campaign planning. (It used to be 40 days.)
“TRY NOT TO CRINGE: Woke males”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smv3oDB8iVY
LOL
Probably my favorite sound in the world
*falls in love*
What’s that accent?
I thought I detected a light Canadian accent as I was listening, say, Ontario? Not Atlantic or Prairie…
Slovenian
Well, that could mean anything.
She is attractive though – under other circumstances…
Well, that could mean anything.
How so? She apparently went home to home to Ljubljana a couple months back.
(it’s not really stalking if she posts her IG account on her youtube page, right?)
She received some atypical language instruction, though. (atypical sounding to me)
Became fluent in English in the late teens. So close on the accent neutralization. So close.
Yeah, there were enough oddities to make the accent impossible to place.
The cadence sounded almost… Brazilian.
That’s some good comedy. Especially this part: https://youtu.be/Smv3oDB8iVY?t=257
“This all happened in the early aughts at a small college in the midwest. I can’t image what would have happened to me if this had happened in today’s environment, especially on the coasts. I still have a chip on my shoulder about the incident. I still worry that she’ll decide to #metoo me any day. In the current environment and with the way memories can change over time, I can’t help but worry. Even with her email apology on file, it could still completely upend my life. Isn’t it amazing that we live in a time that well over a decade later I’m still scared that she could ruin my life.”
Sorry 🙁
Never let a “crisis” go to waste.
How are those three things going to help homelessness? Seems to have more to do with mental health and desire to not live by societie’s rules.
The less likely it has anything to do with the stated purpose, the more money it will require. tldr: empire building
Much like how the most useless consumer items are the most profitable (well, it seems that way, I have no actual data)
Nothing like some good buzz words which reflect the current group think.
It doesn’t have to make sense. That’s what’s so brilliant about it.
Apparently its the Russians fault people didn’t like The Last Jedi. https://news.avclub.com/study-suggests-russian-trolls-helped-amplify-the-last-j-1829453731
Bay lays out a few generally accepted but loose criteria for identifying a Russia-based troll on Twitter—mostly involving choice of screen name, account habits, and a tendency toward posting at certain peek hours—but admitted that the study couldn’t definitively state which of the accounts were Russian in origin.
In other words, just some bullshit.
And…. I’m out.
*clicks author’s name*
*scrolls down*
“..Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story”
Oh they’re remaming WSS now? Great.
Let’s just start remaking Citizen Kane, Casablanca, The Godfather. Get it over with.
We can have some SNL cast members remake “Duck Soup.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You were experienced at oral sex on a woman, but you were still a virgin? Sorry, gotta call shenanigans on that.
That’s a thing with folks who are raised religious – they’re still technically virgins (*best kind of correct, etc.*)
(no judgement)
I should have written “some folks” – certainly not all.
Nope. Right here. Raised Lutheran. Mowed box for 3 years before I plowed.
Yeah, you got to work your way up from fluffer. Can’t just walk right in and land the big part.
The big part is my nosy mother asking me why she found condoms in my room. Not a part I wanted to land.
“Because you were snooping,”
The ladies love my D, mom”
“You should be proud.”
So much this.
In fact, is it really not known?
I did it the good old American way. Fat chick from out of town one night stand.
Damn. That’s some serious self control on both sides of the equation.
The flip side of “virginity-preserving blowjobs” (was that a line from “Heathers”? It’s stuck in my head).
Not that I recall, and I’ve watched that a few times…
Maybe that was from a book? It’s going to bug me.
Scott Adams latest podcast is quite depressing. Poor guy. I know nothing about Fentanyl. 72K a year dead from OD’s?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gOYgz4tpNA4
Link.
I’m going to need some serious data to believe that number.
He’s throwing out a lot of numbers. 72k in total OD’s, 32k in fentanyl OD’s. He’s calling for China to execute the manufacturers if they are knowingly allowing illicit sales.
Giving him a break due to the shock he’s obviously under, but what he’s saying right now is evil.
I just want to puke. Setting up an interview later this week. I hate those things.
Meh, it’s very much like dating – be confident, know that they need/want you as much as you need/want them, be honest about what you can and can’t do, etc. You’ll do great.
it’s very much like dating
*feels dry heaves rising*
I should say “idealized, middle-aged, kinda don’t give a shit dating”. They want your
Dskills as much as youwanna plow themwant the job.(adjust metaphor as needed for your preferences)
Are you hiring or seeking a job?
Seeking. But not really that serious at this point. Thought I’d throw my name in a hat. Didn’t expect to get any further.
For?
Some sort of network role at a streaming video place. Not sure if it’s a clerk or an engineering position from the posting.
I know what a network engineer is, but I’ve never heard of a network clerk. But if there’s a way to fluff your way up…
Doing clerical work- place orders, update records, that sort of thing. I’ll fluff up but not down at this point.
I agree. I don’t know what it is about interviews but I always screw up in them. I can give presentations to executives and not think about it, but get me in an interview and I will respond with incoherent responses to the simplest questions.
Guess how amused I am that they are calling my unlisted phone number.
What information do they have?
That looks pretty generic.
“Please provide your CV2 number for confirmation of voter identity.”
#metoo continues apace, looking inward.
TL;DR Woke reporter loses job at prog publisher because he doesn’t call some crazy girls back. No heroes in this one.
I insist that people read through.
MY GOD. That is so much crazy. I refuse to believe that it’s real.
I gave it the old college try but honestly I couldn’t finish it. The incestuous struggle-session aura of the SJW world is noted, however.
Skip down to the last few paragraphs.
I don’t want off of this planet. I want HER off of it.
The only sane part of the article.
A harrowing story and I think many of us can remember a nutty paramour in our past. Its way worse now, for sure. In honor of this post I am watching Play Misty For Me.
I have had similar experiences… I never had such a one-nighter, but I certainly could have if someone I had a crush on showed up being all aggressive like that. I’ve had a couple that definitely could have gone that way the next day: One girl crawled into my bed (naked) to wait for me during a gathering at my dorm. I was nice and told her “no thanks” , covered her up and went downstairs to sleep on a couch.
I don’t remember what happened the next morning. But if she had been a different kind of crazy, accusations could have been flying around.
The adjunct to your story is “what kind of crazy are we dealing with here.” I think we have all dealt with people who have a tendency to believe their own bullshit. The kind of person who will make something up out of whole cloth and then become invested in this new truth.
My brother told me a version that happened to him several years back. He was checking in at the airport, and as he put his bag on the scale some lady who was at the next counter went to do the same thing at the same time. Their bags collided right at the scale, but his was ahead so he continued and put it down on the scale, not really paying attention. The lady turns around to her boyfriend and starts yelling “he pushed me!!” So boyfriend tells her “then push him back!”
Now, nobody got pushed. She was just pissed because she felt like it was her turn at the scale and he jumped in front of her. But instantly that transformed into “he pushed me”. The guy confronted him and tried to start trouble…. so my brother had to deal with him. He just told him that it didn’t happen and if he wanted to he could call security over. That didn’t really mollify him, but it did slow his roll enough to allow them to check their bags and leave.
He’s quite convinced that to this day that lady actually believes that she was pushed to the ground by some random guy at the airport. Heck, she’s probably embellished the story with plenty of extra details, including how she was bruised and battered in the affair.
That’s what really sets a lot of us guys off about this whole thing. Most guys who are old enough to have been around a while (I am pretty much exactly Kavanaugh’s age) have collected stories of dealing with people who either made false accusations, or could have been in that position ourselves.
I have no idea what the girl from my dorm remembers from that night. When I was in college I didn’t drink or do drugs of any type. It didn’t stop me from having fun. In fact, when I was in the marching band (a huge rolling party) they published a yearbook of photos and had one of me coming off of the bus looking all bedraggled. I was labeled “biggest partier”, even though I never drank and that group had several dozen blackout drunks. What have those stories morphed into for other people? What of the giirls who had a crush on me but I never noticed? I was at dozens of gatherings. Any one of hundreds of women could be harboring a story where I play the drunken villain, facts be damned.
And a story from that long ago will be believed. Bed girl would believe anything she told herself after that night. Nobody plays the villain in their own narrative. Add on 30+ years of time for that to marinade… and you’ve got yourself a very convincing story teller. One who actually believes the story she’s telling. And with the passage of 30 years of time, there’s no way to refute it.
And as most of you know, you can’t even discuss such a notion. That someone might imagine a series of events rather than deal with the reality of what happened is not an acceptable thought.
Which is odd, because those same people who won’t accept such topics for discussion will happily tell you about that crazy person at work who keeps causing conflicts with them. Almost everyone has a story of someone they work with who invents conflict out of thin air. Heck, we have memos and scrum notes and change orders for this very reason, because people will forget or change their recollection after the fact. But for some reason when it comes to teenage girls and sexuality, that suddenly becomes not only fantastical, but an insulting and evil notion.
I suppose that this wheel will keep on spinning and eventually we’ll get back somewhere closer to normal.
But this has been going on a lot longer than people seem to be willing to admit. When I stepped on campus back in the early 80’s, we had to sit through seminars about sex and consent. We were told you have to get affirmative consent at every step: “Can I kiss you now?” “Can I touch you here?” It sounded ridiculous when I first heard the pitch at 16, and it still sounds ridiculous. The whole “too drunk to consent” thing was in full swing at the time too. I wrote an English paper about it in 1983, contrasting the drunk driving laws with this notion, and with the gender specific responsibilities of the policy – that two equally inebriated people would hook up and one would be deemed too intoxicated to consent to the act, but the other would be deemed sober enough to form a mens rea for a criminal act – something that also required accurately gauging the intoxication level of another person.
So here we are, over 3 decades later dealing with the same issues, with the same ridiculous standards.