Introduction for week 2

I approached The Powers That Be with the idea for writing a weekly NFL pick-‘em column. They graciously agreed, and then I spit the bit on getting the first column in on time, because I’m irresponsible. The good news about that is my picks are probably going to suck, and this column can serve as a vehicle for Glibs to make fun of my handicapping skills.

That said – let’s see what’s up this week:

The week starts with the Ravens at the Bengals. Baltimore (-1) at Cincinnati – Baltimore looked much better against the Bills last week than the Bengals did against the Colts. And while the Colts were a better opponent and the Bengals will be playing at home, I still have to take the Ravens since a 1 point spread is essentially a pick-‘em scenario. I also think there will be a few Ravens looking for payback from last year. BAL – give up the point

Kansas City at Pittsburgh (-5). Pittsburgh giving up a late lead against Cleveland was surely disappointing to Steelers fans, and the game resulting in a tie was rather non-conclusive, although several people have pointed out that the Browns will now wind up with a better record than last year regardless of what they do from here on out. KC handled the Chargers, and although their defense looks somewhat suspect, Pittsburgh does too. I wouldn’t go so far as to pick a KC upset, but I’d take them with the points. KC – take the points

Philadelphia (-3) at Tampa Bay. Tampa looked surprisingly good, at least on offense. The Eagles have a better defense than New Orleans, however. The Bucs played well enough last week to make me nervous about this game, but I still would have to go with the Eagles, and give up the 3 points. PHI – give the points.

New York Giants at Dallas (-3). Wow. I don’t like anything about this game. The teams, the spread, well… maybe the cheerleaders. That said, I would never put a cent down on this game in the real world. In Internet land, I’ll take Dallas at home because I think they lost to a better team last week. DAL – give the points.

New England (-2) at Jacksonville. I hate constantly giving points. While this isn’t something I’d bet my house on, there’s gonna be at least one upset. Screw it, Jags win at home against a Pats team that, while still good, isn’t what it used to be. JAC – take the points.

Minnesota at Green Bay (-1). Well, this one will piss some people off. Sorry Vikes fans, I gotta go with the Packers here, especially after the balls they showed in last week’s comeback. GB – give the point.

Houston (-2) at Tennessee. Houston played NE tough last week. Tennessee played Miami tough last week. I’d kind of like to take the home team here, but I won’t. HOU – give the points.

Cleveland at New Orleans (-9). Cleveland may really, really suck, but they at least proved they can play in the NFL, even if they think they’re playing soccer and a tie is okay. Also, Tampa does have offensive talent, but New Orleans really showed nothing on defense last week. NO has the talent to blow out the Browns, but perhaps the Browns will make a habit of actually fighting this year. CLE – take the points.

Carolina at Atlanta (-5.5). I’d feel good about taking the Panthers if the spread were over a touchdown. This is another game I’m really on the fence about. Eh, screw it CAR – take the points.

Indianapolis at Washington (-6). Washington beat Arizona pretty badly last week, and Indy got dealt with by Cincy. However, Cincinnati was a playoff team, Arizona has sucked for years, and I HATE HATE HATE anything to do with DC. Fuck you, Redskins. IND – take the points

Miami at NY Jets (-3). Ehhh, ummmmm – the Jets. NYJ – give the points.

LA Chargers (-7.5) at Buffalo. That Ravens/Bills game was brutal. That is, unless you don’t care about the Bills, in which case it was just really, really funny. Really funny. And while there’s a decent chance the Bills will be shamed into playing better, there’s a limit as to how much better they can play. LAC – give the points.

Detroit at San Francisco (-3.5). Ever wish both teams could lose? Detroit at least used to be a worthwhile part of the US economy, but SF has the better team. SF – give the points

Arizona at LA Rams (-13). Okay. Now THAT is a point spread. In a fuck John McCain massive point spread special, I say LAR – give the points.

Oakland at Denver (-6). Given Denver’s lackluster (and quite inconsistent) performance over the past few years, I really thought about taking the Raiders with the points. However, it’s in Denver, and Oaktown wasn’t looking that great last week. DEN – give the points.

Seattle at Chicago (-3). Another tough one, as both teams had tough losses last week. Again, I’ll go with Chicago at home. Maybe they’ll give Mack some energy bars and he’ll actually play 2 good halves instead of one great one. CHI – give the points.