I. Love. Cheese.
It’s the hardest part about being vegan. I don’t really miss butter. I don’t miss milk. Sometimes I miss some half and half in my coffee, but that’s rare.
What I do miss is cheese in all its cheesy goodness.
It’s important to let go of your expectations of cheese when trying to be vegan. There are some really good vegan cheeses out there that taste like cheese, but if you expect it to act like cheese and behave like cheese, you’re probably going to be disappointed, so don’t go expecting to make a really good cheesy pizza (though if you figure it out, let me know).
With these vegan cheese recipes a lot of dishes are back on the menu.
But before I get into the recipes, here is a pantry list for you of commonly used ingredients you should have on hand:
- Nutritional yeast (also good for making vegan chicken broth)
- Miso paste
- Tofu (silken tofu is called for in many recipes)
- Coconut oil
- Tapioca flour
- Almonds
- Sunflower seeds
- Macadamias
- Cashews
You’ll also need a food processor and cheesecloth for some of these.
And now for the recipes:
Do you have a great vegan cheese recipe to add to this list (she asks doubtfully)? Drop it in the comments.
Or don’t.
See if I care.
Comments
270 responses to “For the love of cheese”
You didn’t address “Frumunda”?
I am disappoint.
Now…hit my mother f’in Theme Music !
Sup Twin! Rocking the Cobras today! much Army Man progress over the weekend,
/Tres and Yusef, the Glimmer twins
Second!
Tall, low-carb, cans!
HEY YUFUS!
I’m glad you can watch the Carbs and still have a Beer!, Hope it’s workin out for ya..
“a” beer….thats cute.
Why do you think I make myself carb deficient all day? This is how I bring it up to level.
You are suppose to Capitalize BEER! Cute? Snake piss ain’t cute Bra!
/Throws Empty Cobra can at Tres’ Head and hit’s Ted instead
+2 pounds of steamed shrimp and a case of Natty Boh
Extra. Sharp. Cheddar. That is all.
OT: MCCAIN: A One-Man Case for Term Limits
The burgeoning neocon/cosmo alliance is perhaps the most hilarious political development since Bill Weld was floated as a possible LP nominee.
Oh cosmos, just hold one principle at a minimum
Wow
The Vegan thing doesn’t make sense to me, unless it’s the whole not killing animals thing, I can live with that Ideology,
I just submitted an article dealing with that question. We will see if the vegan overloads bless it.
Or overlords, whichever…
I don’t think any of the overlords are vegan. Vegetarian maybe.
Wut? Who’s WD? Sliced Vegan Bread?
Oh, is WD one of the overlords too? What are we defining as an overlord? I was thinking founders/overlords. Never mind I am digging a hole here.
OMWC?
He is an egg and cheeser making him a vegetarian pervert.
Vegetarian pervert…okay band name.
For an all girl band maybe….
I have one vegan friend that I trust. Hardcore republican and a cop. I can ask honest questions, and she’ll give me honest answers.
For most, it’s a religion.
Next Tuesday, September 4, 1900 GlibTime.
You can have the whole not killing animals thing just by being vegetarian.
For me vegan in particular is about my health.
According to my electrophysiologist being vegan (not just vegetarian) is a good way to treat my heart problem.
And according to my GP being vegan is a good way to keep my gallbladder from getting worse. Given my other health stuff, having it removed is an absolute last resort. So far I’ve been able to stave off gallbladder removal for 3 years.
Yikes. You are too young for all that. It is us old assholes that are supposed to have all the health problems. Glad your diet is keeping you in check. I for one appreciate your articles just for the exposure to something I have no idea about.
You know who else didn’t eat meat for health reasons?
Jack Spratt?
Speaking of coconut oil, what’s the verdict on it being unhealthy? Some people say it’s fine, others say it’s worse than drinking used motor oil out of a homeless guy’s ass.
Are you saying I should stop drinking used motor oil enemas?
Are you saying I should stop creating them? I just changed the oil in Jugsy’s camaro yesterday, and I got 6 qts of 5W-30 in my garage.
It must be cold where you live.
“Let’s get one thing out of the way: coconut oil is not poison.
Poison is something you ingest as the result of systemic race and class-based discrimination, or because a Russian spy wants you dead, or because Tide Pods. Food that happens to be high in saturated fat is still food—the amount and manner in which you consume it determines how healthy, or not, it is.”
Systemic race and class-based discrimination?
“Even extra-virgin olive oil, which is often anointed the healthiest of oils, because the fats it contains can actually contribute to heart health, would be unhealthy if pounded by the shot-glass full.”
GTFO
https://qz.com/quartzy/1367711/is-coconut-oil-good-for-you-the-answer-is-simple-and-complicated/amp/
*spits beer all over keyboard*
DAFUQ!?!?
That’s why I’m having trouble finding a good answer.
*pauses, looks around, puts down shotglass of olive oil*
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Thank you for these recipes! My mom recently became allergic to a dairy/milk protein so she’s been a rough time getting adjusted to it all. Hopefully this helps her out a bunch!
I made a really good vegan lasagna for a holiday last year, using vegan “ricotta” and cashew cream. A little disappointing if you are expecting a perfect match, but it was very good as its own thing and hit that jones. I’ll dig the recipe up for your Mom.
Do you have a great vegan cheese recipe to add to this list (she asks doubtfully)?
I would have said headcheese, but that’s not quite vegan.
And I learned to drink my coffee black, no sugar back when I was in high school.
Likewise, I learned to drink mine black, no sugar, and tepid or cold, around the same time. Mama Tres would brew a pot in the ol’ Mr. Coffee before she went to work. In summer, by the time i got to it, it was room temperature at best. Being fundamentally lazy, I just drank it like that.
I think we got our first microwave before I learned to drink coffee, but I didn’t heat up coffee at home.
Mom basically used it to nuke dinner for an arbitrary amount of time, and hope it came out OK. I learned to hate baked potatoes because of that.
I didn’t learn until my first job, but man I love that good stuff.
Nescafe Dark instant of GTFO, Boiled water in a pot on the stove, Black of course
At home, I go with Cafe Bustelo, courtesy of my last trip to Florida. At work, I just get whatever they throw at me. I’ll definitely give that one a shot too.
It’s Bold, not bitter, like the Stout of Coffees,
And Fuck Off!
/Welcome!
Thank you for the warm welcome, fellow Tulpa!
You’re both Tulpa. Fuck off, Tulpa.
“Cafe Bustelo”
That’s our official backup coffee. For the price it’s pretty much better than anything you can buy here. I get it for $3 for one of those bricks at Walmart. Can’t remember if those are 10oz or what. Anyway, I try to keep better Brazilian coffee in stock, like Pilao or Santa Clara, which I can get now with the exchange rate for less than $2 for same amount. Pretty much compares with anything you can get here for $10 or more same amount.
Ooh, excellent. I’ll have to see about getting Pilao and Santa Clara as well up in my parts of Japan. Bless the interwebs.
Try this.
Oooh, Vietnamese coffee, haven’t tried that before. Thanks, you beautiful penguin.
It has a bit of a chocolate smell/taste (I don’t think they add any, I think it’s just the particular beans). Well worth trying, at least.
Coffee has two ingredients: coffee and water.
That’s ground coffee beans and prolly roasted, and water, shitlord.
Did I stutter?
Coffee is also a plant. You have to be more specific. You don’t even English bro? Merman! Merman!
So, what you’re saying is that coffee is recursive?
Yes, it’s the Douglas Hofstadter of beverages.
Not true. Sometimes it has a drip of an orphan’s tear or blood.
I’ve drunk about a pot of black coffee every morning since 7th grade. We’re a coffee-drinking family, and growing up we’d have a pot on pretty much all day long until 9:00 PM or so. I went through a phase of putting creamer in gas station coffee, but that doesn’t really count.
I do drink stuff like cafe au lait and cappuccino, but that falls in a different mental category. Like I’d never drink a latte and think, “Ok, morning ritual complete, let’s get this show on the road!”
*cough* another coffee article drops tomorrow.
/end shameless self promotion
Man, you better not have a nut allergy and try to go vegan.
Who doesn’t love cheese? Why would anyone not love cheese?
Queen Medb didn’t love cheese, there ya go.
I know people who don’t like bacon. Not vegetarians or vegans, just people who smell bacon and say, “Ugh, no thanks!” I can’t even imagine what that might be like. Trying to picture what it’s like to dislike bacon would be like trying to describe colors to someone born blind.
It’s like some people who don’t like sex, music, steak, or seafood. It’s no way to live.
Man, steak’s another one! I’ve had some steaks that were better than others, and I’ve had steaks that weren’t very good, but I’ve never eaten steak and thought, “Damn, that was a bad idea.”
There’s not much better than a well seasoned well grilled prime cut of ribeye.
Porterhouse.
I’m torn between the two, but I’d be happy to do as many blind taste tests as it takes to find a winner.
sirloin
No way, not even close.
“sirloin”
In Brazil, what they call picanha is pretty much the most popular cut of steak there. It’s about the same thing as we call sirloin tip here. It’s really good the way they prepare it there, but I think it’s still inferior to our ribeye, best steak, hands down I’ve personally had.
I’m one of those strange people who trim all fat from steak.
Sirloin is very easy to do that to. I also think it has a “meatier”
taste and texture. So you can have your porter, ribeyes, and
filets. I’ll stick with lean.
“I’m one of those strange people who trim all fat from steak.”
MOST HEINOUS!
Sober P is Jack Sprat. Who knew?
I’m a big fan of hanger steak but I can never find it and when I can I can’t afford it. I like flank, too, but it takes a little work. But marinated in something nice and acidic, thrown on a blazing hot grill for a couple minutes a side, then sliced on a thin, shallow plane going across the grain, it’s awesome.
Flank as NB describes is most excellent. My go to marinade is fresh squeezed lime and worcestershire. Around here we call that carne asada and is my favorite taco.
Because cheese is fucking gross.
Says the guy who eats ass.
But I would never eat ass-cheese.
Consistent. Principled. Cognizant of the self-evident truth about rotting tit-juice coagulant.
Truly, HM is the best of us.
:dabs eye with handkerchief:
You took the words right out of my mouth.
:Boba Fett nod to Chafed:
I. Can’t. Even.
“A great French cheese should offend at least two of the senses.”
Now this is indeed something I have never heard of and may be something I might look into. Cheese is my downfall when trying to stay low carb. (which I am not right now because I lack a spine) Well, cheese and fresh bread.
Thanks WebD
Of all the vegan shit I tried when my best friend and girlfriend both went vegan in college, their nasty ass cheese was the worst. I could do (and quite often did) vegetarian, but that disgusting slop that they pass as cheese makes vegan an impossibility.
I should add that I’m curious about how the homemade vegan cheeses turn out, but not curious enough to make it myself. I’ll have to see if theres a vegan stand at my farmers market and whether they sell cheese.
“ass cheese”
They actually talked you into trying that?
Relevant
Well, a 911 is a sweet ass-car.
If they were vegan there is a good chance they were hippies and hippies don’t shower. Ass cheese is a natural by product from hippies that don’t shower. This is why you give wide berth to bikes parked on the sidewalk in ski towns. The seats collect ass cheese.
It’s also the reason to give wide berth to anyone you see shopping in Wholefoods. They need wider aisles.
It’s hard hitting commentary like this that makes this such a treasured site.
Sorry to OT so quickly, but…
Yeah, we know and knew what you are
“Sen. John McCain’s pallbearers to include Warren Beatty, Joe Biden, Gary Hart, plus billionaire Michael Bloomberg and FedEx CEO while his ushers include health and telecom execs”
Gee, I guess I was wrong about the maverick, he was a true liberty lubber, I mean no statist authoritarian shit stains in that list at all.
It’s not as if you’re eating McCain.
I’m not Fred Smith’s biggest fan, but he comes close to being a business role-model for Glibs. He saw a market opportunity and basically created an industry out of a model that the professors said would never work. I think he has two Purple Hearts.
One of these things is not like the other.
“Among those paying tribute to McCain at his memorial services will be Jeff Flake, Joe Biden, Megan McCain, …Joe Lieberman…”
Isnt he already dead, too?
He’s too boring to die.
Good grief, Flake and Lieberman too? Where the fuck are George Soros and Hillary? This is a statist hall of fame event.
This guy always reminded me of Lieberman. Or maybe it’s the other way around.
It’s gonna be sad seeing that black veil hanging over Lindsay Graham’s sobbing face.
$5 says Schumer hears the crying and begins lactating.
lol…….file this under something I never wanted to read.
LOL, he’s probably burning his army man onesies with the feet and covering his head with the ashes.
As he softly penetrates himself with the butt plug McCain gave him for Christmas.
It’s one of the large size plastic army men they used to play with in their army man onesies.
Now you’re just being mean to Yufus.
Well, Yusef has not yet posted a pic of himself in onesies working on his war villages. So I’m still giving him the benefit of the doubt.
And you never will, Hype, I work in the Nude….
/all 130 Lbs
https://www.foreverlazy.com/onesies-green-camouflage.html
Paging Sugar Free on the courtesy line.
It’s like we keep giving him material and he’s on the run constantly from STEVE SMITH. SPACE SMITH, SF, FUCKING SPACE SMITH!
You forgot SUE SMITH.
I like the idea of SUE SMITH. We have to get some diversity in here. In the first official STEVE SMITH movie, Mojeaux makes a brief appearance as SUE SMITH. I’m leaving the details up to you, so get your SF version of romance novel on.
Hopefully this will all be a build-up to an Infinity Wars-esque slamdown with all the SMITHS. Truly a cross-over of a GALACTIC SCALE.
We could also have a Tebo Herrero.
“This is a statist hall of fame event.”
On a completely unrelated note, I’d like to mention that mortar and RPG’s are widely available on black markets through out Latin America.
Isn’t yeast anti-vegan? You’re eating a living thing!
It could be argued in good faith that vegetables are/were alive. Let them plant murderers eat styrofoam.
Yes, that’s why there’s fruitarians.
I had to look that up. Nutritional yeast is dead. They kill it with heat and then package it. Which sounds kind of cruel.
Yeast murderers are as bad as plant murderers! Yeast is people too!
Nutritional Yeast can feel pain. So…
Yeast might not be anti vegan, I dunno.
I do know that it is anti vagina though.
Mmmmm, cheeeeese. St. Marcellan, St. Felician, Vacherin, aged farmhouse cheddar, raw milk raclette, Humbolt Fog. Cheese, the king of the dairy world.
Indeed. Nothing beats Kraft individually-wrapped American cheese-food singles. Cheese!
Well, I mean on cheeseburgers I’m with you. Outside of that, not so much.
They have their place. Even though they’re not real cheese.
Cheese product or cheese food isn’t cheese, no, but American cheese is definitely cheese. I’m very sensitive about that shit for some reason. It’s worse than when people call magazines clips.
So, I actually recently learned there’s a difference. For years I thought American cheese was processed or a “cheese-product. But, apparently, it’s actually real cheese? As not a huge cheese-lover, the whole thing honestly confuses me a bit. They look and (to my unrefined palette) taste nearly the same.
My understanding is the same – American cheese is a cheese. It’s terrible, but that’s another story.
No it isn’t! American cheeseburgers, grilled cheese sandwiches, and macaroni and cheese, are great.
@CP, Hells YES!
…when you use a proper cheese like Cheddar.
Addendum: See my comment below. If Wikipedia is right, I was originally right; American cheese isn’t cheese as most understand cheese to be.
Which makes me feel better hating it.
It is, it’s actually a blend of cheddar and either Colby or Jack depending on whether it’s to be yellow or white. It’s processed, but it’s just two or more cheeses. Cheese food is processed cheese that has a lot of non-cheese additives, like emulsifiers, added milk fat, stuff like that. But yeah, American cheese is what happens when you take multiple cheeses, melt them, and mix them together.
Ugh no wonder. Colby and Jack both have no taste.
So…it’s processed cheese.
Yes, it is processed, but only in the sense that it’s multiple cheeses combined. So the final product remains cheese, and primarily cheese by a large percentage if not entirely cheese. Cheese food product or whatever is mostly not cheese. If you were to make a grilled cheese sandwich with a slice of cheddar and a slice of Colby, you are one step away from American cheese.
American cheese is process cheese. So, not cheese.
American cheese is just mild cheddar.
From Wikipedia:
Huh. The more you know™.
I see it sold as “cheese” all the time.
Per the website I just read, “Saying American cheese isn’t cheese is like saying meatloaf isn’t meat.”
*throws over cheese table and screams “VELVEETA”!*
Redneck……
Velveeta for nachos, Yummmmm
Velveeta & fried spam, slapped on bread w/Hellman’s mayo….
I havent had bread in a month!
The bread is Wonder right? And please tell me you’re using Miracle Whip.
Oh, you shut your filthy whore mouth.
Hellman’s or GTFO. (Duke’s works in a crisis).
And I generally go store-brand wheat bread.
Miracle whip? wtf? Are you Canadian?
Miracle Whip just seems an appropriate choice to go with Spam™ and Velveeta™, is all.
I tried it recently (grew up on the stuff) and it’s disgusting.
Actually I think we had this conversation before. I grew up on it too and the only people I know who still eat it are my Canadian relatives. When I was a kid we ate more than a few bologna and Velveeta sandwiches with miracle whip. We only got spam when we visited other family.
Despite the supposed same recipe, I notice a difference between Hellman’s and Best Foods. The quality of Best Foods has decreased noticeably in recent years.
Best Foods<Hellmans<Duke's<Blue Plate. Also Kewpie for certain Japanese dishes.
American cheese (and Velveeta) is cheese sauce that has been conveniently portioned in portable single servings. It’s excellent for what it is.
Exactly. Ill never get it twisted and call Velveeta “cheese”. But it certainly has its place.
Just trolling. I like a good sharp cheddar, pepper jack, provolone, and swiss. I’ve eaten several different blue cheeses and loved them all, particularly gorgonzola and maytag blue.
You really do suck at this .
I knew almost all of those. I guess I am a Shitlord.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C7rzSslub6U
I had an applewood smoked Gouda the other day. Heavenly.
I was smoking some mozzarella the other day. Lost track; smoker got too hot, and it melted.
My mistake.
Did you get High though? that’s important, smoking Cheese is Dangerous….
I thought you had to cold smoke cheese which I don’t have a setup for. Sort of. What kind of smoker? Or was this your smoker box thing and a mail box?
My “locker” is a Masterbuilt 40″ electric. Cold smoker attachment with a 4 foot duct. I put an ice tray in the locker to keep it cool, but I lost track of time.
aaah, cheese is on the to do list of smoking projects someday. I am thinking a can convert the Brinkman to a cold smoker with a bit of metal work and some aluminum flex ducting.
I’m a beginner, but from what I can tell, the longer the duct, the better.
Why is everybody gay for Humbolt Fog?
Because it’s good.
Never heard of it. I would have guessed it to be weed.
*golf clap*
Take a wedge of it. Put some fresh sliced figs on it. Drizzle with honey.
This is heaven. And a standard dessert that Spud and I would make at least once a week.
I would think a cheese analog would be the hardest thing to pull off from a vegan perspective. Cheese developed as a method for preserving milk, after all.
It worked really well, you can still eat it after it’s molded and not only do you not get sick, it’s better.
As long as it’s not Limberger.
Good god, that shit reeked. I have a compulsion against throwing away edible food, but I eagerly chucked that wretched lump in the trash can and then took out the trash.
So did yogurt. I heard it was invented by Genghis Khan’s fighters, using horse milk.
Then it’s Yog Yurt?
*pinochle clap
It’s a method of preservation, but it also concentrates nutrition and calories.
That’s a good point.
It’s a point that I’ve hammered home with my Scandinavian mother. She claims to be lactose intolerant. She’s not. It’s a really fun way to ruin brunch.
It’s too cold to lactoferment in the motherland. Either you drink milk out of the reindeer, or you die of starvation.
What’s ‘parmesan’?
Dried shit that comes from a jar?
/Tasty
It’s cheese dust, comes in a can with holes in the top, you use it like salt…
Black pepper cooper sharp American. It’s the Cadillac of American cheese
Overpriced & unreliable?
Big and bold
Driven by Huggy Bear ?
I’m Starsky, He’s Hutch
“It’s the king of cheeses.”
– Mario Batali
*grabs ass*
Parmiggiano he was alluding to, right?
But parmesan is something else. That shit ain’t parmiggiano.
Oh, look at Mr. Fancy over here, turning his nose up at Kraft!
Cheese comes from stinky feet.
I do like me a Kraft cheese slice from time to time on a burger or grilled cheese.
Proof:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bee73gvnx0E
But it’s the best choice for sprinkling on pizza
Not on my watch pal.
You put it on sketti, dude.
It comes in a green shaker
Ugh. 4C FTW.
Don’t they also make powdered iced tea? It’s like they’ve got the white trash market cornered.
That’s pretty much all they make, and they’re good at those things. The cheese is just granulated cheese put in a jar, none of the filler crap.
https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/1034180126345285632
He seems nice.
Well, I don’t know about Ms. Loesch, but all I can say is that having random strangers threaten my family over the Internet would certainly convince me that I don’t need guns for self-defense.
Precisely. 0/10 for taste, but minus several million for braindead outreach.
What an odd use of the term “Learn”.
Serie C side Rimini first soccer club in the world to be purchased with Bitcoin.
https://www.football-italia.net/127217/rimini-make-bitcoin-history
SPEAK ENGLISH YOU LIMEY BASTARD
Nice move by Roma fans: Morandi bridge disaster: Genoa fans watch home match in silence in tribute
You can’t always say that about Roma fans those commies.
Well, that didn’t go well…it’s at bbc sports
You mean the score line?
The story: bbc.com/sports then football
Mourinho is losing it.
I only read the blurb – sounds like it.
The hot take before the season started was “he only lasts 3 years at any team”. Looks like he’s losing it already? I wonder if it’s another case of primadonnas rebelling or what. I don’t even know who plays for them any more because I don’t watch that team.
English (league) players seem to have that rep.
It always seems to come down to the locker room.
Same thing with the NT.
But he is a character.
Hmph.
/Samp fan
https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/45319505
“It’s the king of cheeses.”
– Mario Batali
You know what else is the “King of Cheeses” ?
Chuck Schumer?
*checks scrotum*
Chuck E. Cheese?
Mario Batali has been #metoo’d, your mention of him makes a rapist in the second degree.
*makes you*
I fucked that up.
The fact that I confuse him with Mario Cantone makes this amusing.
Some writing styles are so pretentious that the gag reflex kicks in before you get to the third paragraph. I’ve been trying to make it through this piece in The New Yorker, but I just can’t seem to do it.
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/09/03/glenn-greenwald-the-bane-of-their-resistance
say no more
Malcom Gladwell had a good piece or two over there, but pretty much this.
OK, I remember the Sandgren brouhaha but I just can’t slog through an entire article there.
It feels manipulative right from the start and that is probably my bias against The New Yorker kicking in. It wasn’t written for me or you. My guess is that is was written for people that consider themselves intelly but are resentful of Glenn exposing their cognitive dissonence. I’d probably be able to make it through the piece if it were clear what it’s trying to say from the start. Hyperpartisan media. I didn’t create it just saying that the rules have changed.
Yeah, I was waiting for the ten-ton anvil to drop on my head, and it didn’t happen after ten or so paragraphs so I gave up.
The New Yorker has gotten stupid with the length of their articles. I have mentioned before that was required reading in my English 101 class and they were not that long then. (1995 – I was a late goer to colleger) They were still lefty but not bat shit like today which is pretty much how one could describe most left publications/news these days. I think their strategy now is that if you can make it through one of their pieces it means you are “smart”.
These arguments, underpinned by a distaste for banal political opinions and a profound distrust of American institutions—including the C.I.A., the F.B.I., and Rachel Maddow—have put an end to his appearances on MSNBC, where he considers himself now banned, but they have given him a place on Tucker Carlson’s show, on Fox News, and in Tennys Sandgren’s Twitter feed.
Including two hyperlinks to boot. You can see that he’s juxtaposing the good (CIA, FBI, Maddow) and the bad (Tucker, Fox, Tennys), buy you only notice it if you pull the sentence apart and focus on it. The complexity isn’t illuminating. It’s obfuscating.
Yep.
Re: Sandgren – I watch a lot of tennis so naturally I got the Cliff Notes version of what happened but luckily none of the follow-up because, refreshingly, the announcers don’t seem to give a shit. I’ve seen him play many times since it came out with zero mention of that shit.
What jumps out at me more is that the author equates the CIA and FBI with Maddow. Which given the shenanigans in the last presidential election may not be that big of stretch.
That IS pretty amazing. And comical.
He wouldn’t see that as a bad thing, now would he? It’s wild.
WTF? Unless it’s like “English language for foreigners” or something.
Naaa, no shit, the Prof required we had a subscription to the New Yorker and we had to write daily about something in it. Be it an ad, a cartoon, an article, whatever. We handed our folder of fodder in every week. I was not near as un-woke as I am now but I couldn’t help but sarcastically tear apart their magazine even back then. She told me I was such a smart ass her and her husband would dig out my folder and read it first. I can only assume this was because she had to slog through the thoughts of mostly 18 year olds and I was almost 30, had a bit of life under my belt and had a bit different take on any given subject. The only bad grade on a paper in that class was on an article about the kid who went to Alaska and died and eventually became the bookInto the wild. I said the kid was an idiot and not being prepared for what he was getting into is what killed him. Apparently I missed all the subtle nuances of the story. Stupid kid dies in the cold was what I read.
The pig should say, “My wife is a slut.”
“Christ, what an asshole”
Mmmm. Fermented mammary excretion.
Grana padano for snacking with some lupini beans, thin sliced cured pork, and oil cured olives and a tumbler of a bitter like Campari (I’ve been sipping on Martini & Rossi’s answer to Campari and it’s quite good). So fine.
I’m gonna figure out something to do with some Salvadoran style white cheese i got yesterday. I reckon it is essentially like Mexican queso fresca….figure it’s about time to make papusa for the first time, but no legumes and minced pork belly instead.
Bathtub cheese?
Only one way to find out. I’ll let you know if I’m picking any extraordinarily high number of pubes out of my teeth after dinner tomorrow. Then I’ll be like ” no es particularmente bueno, compadre “
Pubes are the best case scenario.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/24954041/ns/health-infectious_diseases/t/tainted-cheese-fuels-tb-rise-california/#.W4S-HS2ZN24
Pretty disgusting. My round is vacuum sealed and was purchased from a grocery store. No visible signs of pubes and the packaging is still vacuum right clinging to the cheese, so things are looking promising.
I… can’t believe “bathtub cheese” is a thing.
At least bathtub gun is presumed sterile.
Bathtub GIN
I think you’re supposed to put your gun in a waterproof baggie. And hide it in the toliet tank, not the tub.
btw: I made siu mai dumplings a couple times in the last several weeks and they are extremely easy to make from scratch and make taste excellent. I didn’t even bother referencing a recipe the second time around. both times I hand minced the fatty pork to give it a better texture than store grade ground pork.
Wouldn’t know where to find crab roe, so substituted in lumpfish caviar instead. Didn’t have dried shiitake on hand, so used dried porcini instead.
I’m trying to eat here, Jeez!!
*very dark joke, which does not reflect any personal beliefs nor mean to belittle tragedy*
So, does anyone want to play me in a game of Madden? I hear there are some open spots in the tournaments now, this could be my break.
*very dark joke, which does not reflect any personal beliefs nor mean to belittle tragedy*
That is worse than my “penis and a rug walk into a bar” joke.
You wear a murkin?
Only to events it is called for.
So everywhere?
I’m not very good at Madden, how about CounterStrike instead?
I’m better at NFL 2K5 than Madden to be honest.
How about Yahtzee…
I was thinking Galaga.
Sounds a bit too jewish for me, and I bet it makes frogs gay.
I wonder how different the hot takes would be if it were a FPS game.
“Real Genius” is a fun movie. Just watched it after a couple of you mentioned it here. I’ve been listening to that Comsat Angels song from it repeatedly (apparently CA fans consider it and its respective album quite bad, though).
If you liked that, than Top Secret will be a real gem.
The last few smoked chickens I have used as a base for chicken stock and has made some smokey chicken soup. Cheers
Awesome.
I’ve used the bones from BBQ pork shoulder to make broth, and it always comes out great. It makes badass soba noodle soup.
O/T, and probably posted elsewhere:
Razorfist is wound up!