Well, here we are about to enter the last week of August. Holy cow, how did that happen?
At our house, we’re in the midst of summer-peak-produce delight. Tonight’s dinner includes caprese, Jacques Pepin’s Corn Soufflé, and our favorite Fresh Peach Pie from America’s Test Kitchen.
But, back on topic (can one even be off topic on an open post of one’s own creation?). We have a terrific line-up of articles to ease you into September.
This week’s articles include great content from Spudalicious, Florida Man, A Leap at the Wheel, Suthenboy, SugarFree (one lives in hope!), The Bearded Hobbit, Web Dom, Not Adahn, and The Hyperbole. Sincere thanks to all the community members who create content. I love learning so much about the diverse topics you all share. Don’t forget, you can be included among that number.
Oh, we’ll also have the always-highly-anticipated What Are We Reading post this week.
And fair warning: get ready because GlibFit 3.0 hits the second week in September. Thank you, trshmnstr!
Now, non-existent ladies, and shitlords, your last Saturday Night Open Post of August.
Comments
303 responses to “Coming Attractions and Everyone’s Favorite: Saturday Night Open Post”
I’m drunk and maybe first
I’m drunk and not first.
Well there are worse places to be
Like me? Drunk and not even near 13th?
You were drunk in the last thread.
And your mother was the likely subject of my jokes
We dissected your family in high school.
And giggled while we did it.
*Rises to drunkenly defend the Reptile… looks over, sees moar beer available, forgets what he stood for….sits down, quaffs beer*
I’m apparently drunk and thoroughly first…bitches
What’d you drink tonight?
Golden Drak
Excellent!
Way to stick to stereotype, reptile!!!
Bells Oktoberfest and have moved on to whiskey.
Oooo… I haven’t had their Oktoberfest yet.
It’s enjoyable. Fall is my favorite season mostly because i enjoy the switch away from IPA.
To all things pumpkin spice?
Fall is mine also because the reds, flounder, and specks turn on the bite to fatten up for winter.
Beer and whiskey pretty risky !
Beer and Whisky,….I feel frisky!
Whiskey and beer.
Have no fear!
McCain died
Waiting on comment from Lou Reed.
Ya, he was too far gone to skinsuit and quite frankly not worth the effort. Also he’s #2 on my grave shit list…right behind Janet Reno
McCain never should have been allowed in the the Naval Academy, never should have been allowed to fly planes and then used his shitty pilot skills to get himself a newer, richer,drug addled wife and a permanent seat in DC when he came home. Fuck John McCain
I’ve been leaving some vile troll comments at YT in reaction. I’m not proud of them, but I’m not ashamed either.
been there
But not here. WTF, man?
Long live the McCain? (I’m assuming his wife is going to get his seat because that’s how this shit usually plays out)
That is the rumor indeed and she will remain until 2020.
https://www.newsmax.com/t/newsmax/article/862742?section=john-gizzi&keywords=cindy-mccain-succeed-john&year=2018&month=05&date=28&id=862742&aliaspath=%2FManage%2FArticles%2FTemplate-Main&oref=thepoliticalinsider.com
This is likely another reason he didn’t resign..
and I feel nothing.
#metoo!
Prayers for the family.
Good point, Gad. Whatever one can say about the man himself, he does leave behind family and real friends. Yes, there are some people standing on his coffin and whooping him up for political purposes, but he did have family and friends and it’s good to temper what we say on their account.
Yes, he has family, like his wife who will most likely inherit his Senate seat for no reason other than to extend his rule by proxy.
Goodbye to one of the worst politicians this nation has ever produced.
I’ll miss the little growth on the side of his face.
I haven’t been on in the last couple days, or if so, not much. I just learned about this. I wish I had something nice to say. But all I can muster is ‘One of the most evil persons in the history of Congress has just left us’.
And fair warning: get ready because GlibFit 3.0 hits the second week in September. Thank you, trshmnstr!
I probably won’t join because of some upcoming travel, but, my weight has started a downward trend again. I also started working two days a week with a trainer at my gym. He’s put me on a modified 5/3/1 program. He thinks once I correct some strength imbalances and form problems my lifts will stop stagnating.
I’ve had great success with 531. It’s so fucking simple, but that last ‘do as many reps as you want’ set is really fun.
Good luck!
Danke!
Although I don’t do specific goals during glib fit, it still helps. I’m looking forward to the return.
Last one was an embarrassment for me. I think my weight went up.
I did fine during, but I’ve gained since.
*NARROWS gaze*
I’m working on convincing Mrs trshmnstr to give her input as a fitness trainer for GlibFit 3.0.
Its the run up to the holidays, so I’m hoping good fitness momentum carries over into healthy holiday habits.
Mrs trshmnstr participating would be fantastic!
Healthy holiday habits?
While we’re setting unattainable goals, lets just add bring all our troops home and prosecute Hillary to the list.
Wish I could lift but I had a detached retina at 40 and those don’t mix too well. I have to do small weights/kettlebell type stuff.
But I’m looking forward to my first GlibFit.
Ouch. Man, eye stuff freaks me out.
GlibFit is fun. It’s really motivating to see everyone’s progress toward whatever their goal might be.
I went through a souffle period. I probably have all my notes somewhere. If I recall my favorite results were sweet potato, and one with beets on the bottom that looked like a tequila sunrise.
That one with beets sounds intriguing!
That’s a pretty pie, SP.
I must have missed that picture.
ZING!
(Pervert)
Thanks, Tulip.
I only make this about twice a summer. Perfect peaches really make it.
I lo e hot peach pie with some vanilla ice cream.
“Perfect peaches really make it”
Euphemistically?
Holy crap I’m full. Panko crusted, pan roasted halibut that was swimming Thursday on a bed of sautéed vegetables anchored by a massive tomato from the garden. Sautéed green beans from the garden that no store bought variety can help to match in flavor.
I’m nowhere near as drunk as Mr. Gecko is, but I’m working on it. Michter’s Small Batch bourbon and a fine Padron cigar.
I need a bucket…and perhaps a ‘ose.
Perhaps a thin mint
Just one, thin mint.
One waffer!
I couldn’t possibly. Fuck off.
Wine with dinner?
I had a cheap Italian Chianti.
Fair to middling negotiant Pinot from California. We have friends in next week. I think I’ll stand up a bottle or two.
Oh?
How did the fish swim on a bed of veggies ?
They only do that on Thursday. I think it is a Jim Morrison song.
*squints suspiciously*
Man The Doors* sucked.
*- except for Manzarek.
Beautifully.
SO I’m at work this morning (really!) and my wife texts me that one of my favorite bands evah is playing at a venue on a nearby lake in the middle of the afternoon. I was initially gonna blow it off and keep working but she said some good friends of ours were going, so what the fuck, I went.
What a perfect day. We took the convertible, the drive was perfect, overcast skies gave way to sun and the band was outstanding (as always).
None of you should give a fuck, of course, but man do I like these kind of days!
And they opened with one of my favorites.
Nice! Rule 32. Enjoy the little things.
I was at work this morning too! But I didn’t do any of that other shit.
I only worked on Glibs and food and garden stuff.
I replied to your bacon question in the last thread, but in case you missed it, ratios do matter. Use the cure calculator I posted last week. I prefer a two week cure to a one week cure. Other than that, experiment away with flavors. Don’t hot smoke above 200 degrees because you run the risk of rendering out the fat. Pull it at 150 IT. Do slice a piece off and eat it right off the smoker.
Thanks, man. I’ll give it a try!
OK, where the hell is the calculator?
http://diggingdogfarm.com/page2.html
Much obliged.
That’s awesome! What a great day!
It really was! With one gone and one autonomous, it’s weird getting used to being a twosome again!
*squints, narrows gaze…preemptively*
Come on! You just rid the nest of one, too!
How did it go?
I don’t give a fuck.
^^ This guy gets it. ^^
Seeing this sign at the airport
http://www.stopsignsandmore.com/image/popup?imagePath=%2fimages%2fProduct%2flarge%2f3183.jpg
What about persons with their dress half on the left not the right?? Way to other and disinclude.
Now I’m fine with sharing a bathroom with men, women, trannies and cripples; but I draw the line at bow legged midgets wearing speedos!
But we need to keep Nazis out of our bathrooms. It’s not enough to censor them on the internet.
Tenant in a dress with a hard on?
Tranny not tenant , way to kill a joke autocorrect
U LOOOZE!
/Autocorrect
If I read it right, the braille says STCCLAIM, which makes no sense.
CHICK WITH A BONER.
Why is the baby crapping on wheelchair dude?
I swear, I’m gonna be submitting some stuff soon, honest. *Slowly backs out of thread*
Me too. Once I get work under control. Yep. It’ll happen. Yep.
We are grateful that Glibs manage to fit in writing for the community in addition to their regular, super busy lives.
Whenever the articles appear, we’re thankful. Truly.
SP is too mannered….
Submit articles or…these gentlemen will be “speaking” with you.
Nice tights.
Men in tights.
It’s the required uniform.
Dinner tonight was simple. 12 pieces of bacon woven together and cooked. Cover with 1 cup of grated mozzarella cheese. Bake in the oven till cheese starts to turn brown. Delicious.
I could eat that!
My goodness. A bacon tostada. That sounds awesome!
And that is how you Keto.
Well done!
Fuck that. I just made my first real French fries and they came out almost perfect.
Pairing them with a bunless burger though…. if only because I’m lazy.
Pics or GTFO!
Give me a tongue depressor and five minutes.
I’ve been doing burgers on multigrain English muffins so long that I can’t even eat a regular bun.
Mr. Mojeaux did that too. Only he put pizza sauce and pepperoni on it, too.
Bacon pizza where the crust is bacon?
*salivates*
*high fives RS*
Daaaaaang!
That pie looks great. I have peaches in the fridge for a cobbler tomorrow and I cleaned out my freezer of last years green chilies (two bags) to make room for this years that I have yet to get, so it is green chili and a salad tonight.
Thanks.
Mmmmm green chile! Got mine ordered but it will probably be next Friday before they arrive.
why not throw out last years chiles and make this year’s chili with this year’s chiles and save all that space it your freezer?
Because I don’t have any of this years chilies at the moment and last years chilies are still good and I don’t like to waste green chilies and I had a pork loin I needed to do something with so I made green chili.
Ah I missed the ‘yet to get part’, fair enough carry on.
*stands with begging bowl outside westernslopers’s door*
I just roasted a half-dozen new ones on the grill outside with our brats. SO GOOOD.
Reminds me of being a kid waiting with my mom outside the supermarket in NM as the big roaster cooked a whole bunch. The smell just throws me back.
Hatch chilies?
Got some in the fridge and going on the pellet grill tomorrow.
Ya, standing in front of the roaster is some good smells. I drove by a farm today that I have not bought from before and one of their chili fields looked close to picking size. At least the ones by the road. I am going to try them next week.
Yes! This is the time of year–well, now to end of October–I miss living in northern NM the most.
Some year, I’ll get to move back.
Crap. GG Show is being bumped because McCain died. I hate when channels do that. Someone died? It’s a three-sentence announcement, you’re done.
Six word announcement: That asshole John McCain finally died.
Does this mean we can get rid of Obamacare now ?
Or will Cindy also fuck over the American people with a dramatic down turned thumb as he did just to get back at Trump ?
Not really a question as we all know the answer.
Gong Gansta Show?
He’s getting a 21 gun salute. They’ll drop them on a palette to ISIS.
Lmfao
Nice.
John McCain did of a horrible disease, because karma.
He’s now in hell trying to convince the devil to bomb some third world country.
In a week the tributes will be over and he’ll still be dead.
*angels sing*
Last of the Keating Five to leave the Senate.
*nods solemnly*
R. Lee Ermey gave so much more.
I was reading that he was recalled to active duty about 15 years ago to be promoted to Gunnery Sergeant, then returned to retired status.
2004, he showed up and was the Rock Star of our base in Afghanistan.
Was going to do a quick hit for “Mail Call” on cable….found out there was a Marine unit on base….3/6? So he stayed for another couple of days and gave an impromptu stand up in a helicopter tent. Jeebus I liked that guy.
Quite a contrast between McCain and Ermey. I’m 40 plus years out of the army, but I wonder what troops in the last 10 or so years would have thought of McCain showing up at a deployed unit.
To the article in the morning links about the “Civil” War:
I think the only thing that should be considered is what the federal government is allowed to do. What it is allowed to do are only the things listed in the document that created it. As such, it being “silent” on an issue in a non-argument to supporting the forcible suppression of secession. The States voluntarily joined the union, with some (TX, VA, etc) explicitly reserving the right to leave the union at a later time. If they voluntarily joined with no authority given the common government then they can voluntarily leave. And my State (VA) only voted to leave the union because of the hostility of the federal government against the other States that had already seceded. Long and heated debates can be had about the reasons surrounding secession. But as a Constitutional matter, the federal government was never given the authority to prevent any State from peacefully seceding for any reason.
Speaking of civil war… Yo straffinrun, keep an eye out for the Bull Run article on Labor Day
Cool. Looking forward to it.
That which is not specifically allowed is prohibited.
Confederates shot first…and were slavers. So, they needed to fuck off…. and cut spending.
Forgot to snap a pic of it, but Evergreen State College has an ad sign up at Seatac bragging about the quality of the education. I laffed of course.
I can’t believe they’re still open. They have to be hemorrhaging money.
https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/education/evergreen-state-college-is-updating-after-protests-decline-in-enrollment/
I finally finished moving the bookshelves’ stuff downstairs and Oscar is busy knocking things off the shelves. Sigh. He is such a jerk.
I assume Oscar is your cat?
Or trshmnstr is visiting.
Or she has a Lab.
Meth?
No thanks, I need to sleep this week.
Or Oscar is a poltergeist.
I vote abusive boyfriend, just because I like to start rumors and see where they go.
*sustained applause*
I thought see meant an actual Oscar and I was confused how he got out the aquarium.
He’s banging Felix.
Now I have some homo-fish-cat mashup in my head.
*head explodes*
I thought it was an Oscar statue.
That’s just silly.
Supposedly, he’s a cat. I think he’s a fuzzy, freeloading demon.
My parents had a cat that liked to sleep on top of the china cabinet. That is until his jumping broke the serpentine glass.
Your name is Felix?
Cats are assholes.
Take that back.
She just meant that cats are libertarians.
Oh, OK. Nevermind.
You should have gotten a cat butt for that remark.
Wow, I turn away and a new post with 120 comments comes up, I’ll have some Army Men coming up
I do not speak ill of the dead, and I will not do so even with McCain, as I stated in the earlier thread. However, there’s a difference between that and … blatantly lying about the deceased, as Rep. Lewis does here.
A WARRIOR FOR PEACE? A FUCKING WARRIOR FOR PEACE?
And Donny Osmond was a soldier of love.
I won’t speak I’ll of the dead either, I’ll just leave this here in memoriam:
https://youtu.be/kPIdRJlzERo
If the British left could use it for Thatcher, it’s OK to use it for McCain.
I suppose not speaking ill of the dead is a decent policy, but there’s a time limit. It’s not like talking ill about Woodrow Wilson is off limits.
Or saying bad things about Hitler. The time limit for total assholes is up immediately. Fuck John McCain. He should have resigned when he was diagnosed if he cared about anything but himself. It is not like the AZ Gov would have appointed a D and to be honest would there have been a difference?
Well, he did care about something other than himself, his wife inheriting his Senate seat, that’s why didn’t resign.
In memorium of John McCain.
Shameless self-promotion. Good for you
Well, the Glibs marketing staff ain’t doing the promotion, so someone has to.
How’s that Mexican kid doing these days?
Last I heard he was living in Ohio. Said something about going jogging to meet a girl.
whoa…..no you diun’t
I di’id! I’m an asshat.
The Problem With Libertarians – Lauren Southern
I didn’t hear any of her arguments because I was busy picturing her in the nude ///nofemalelibertarians, but I assume it boils down to the same problem with self-described “liberals” in that they are not.
I’ve seen that before. It’s not really an unfair criticism if you take everyone who has ever claimed the mantel of “libertarian” at face value. You can sling all the arrows you want Lauren, but Will Wilkensen and the LP are to libertarianism what Skittles are to real fruit.
Nicely done.
I think she’s hot too but mostly because I’m a sucker for a reasonably attractive woman with a mild overbite.
huh, this is the first time I’ve watched any of Lauren Southern videos any of you guys have linked, got to say I don’t see the appeal.
+1.
Annoying youngster who is 20 years from putting it all together.
Pass.
But she makes up for it by thinking very highly of herself.
She had good days/bad days.
And good/bad angles, kind of like Drew Barrymore.
In film school an assistant director that worked with Kate Hudson talked about how difficult it was to shoot around her crooked nose.
I’d hit it.
That’s a year old. And was discussed here.
You stopped lurking just to say that?
Lurking? Think I commented yesterday. Regardless, what is the point of that question?
*doffs professor glasses* The dominant members of a pack of wild animals will often test newcomers, sometimes via physical confrontation, to test their ability to join the pack. *tips hat and backs out of the room*
Not a newcomer. At all. Pay attention.
My apologies, Tulpa.
Things being a year old and/or having been discussed here before have never stopped them from being discussed here again. Nor should they.
By the way, have you seen this crazy story yet?
Elizabeth Warren
*snort
I chuckled at that a bit more than I should have.
McCain was a punk bitch, any questions?
Yeah. Why is the Godfather 2 so fucking good?
Is it as good as Jaws?
Yes, but not as good as jaws 3-D.
I never cared for any of the ‘Godfather’ movies, myself.
*Welp* I don’t like any of the Godfather movies or the Jaws series *puts hands down to protect crotch*
There’s’ no accounting for taste
*pops head around the corner* The Shining sucks too! *Runs off giggling*
If we didn’t have so many common faves, I’d track you down and give you a swirlie.
Whatever distaste you have for those opinions doesn’t even come to half of the shit I got from my film school profs for sharing my opinions.
I’ll bet.
I can only imagine the carnage if I took a class on popular music.
Both get the Mystery Science Theatre treatment from me.
I miss that show. It was an important part of decompressing during my law school days.
So I started watching Snowden today. Actually I restarted watching it again because I fell asleep the last time I started it. I am maybe two thirds through, and what struck me most is how I forgot about and nobody even talks about the programs he ratted out anymore. We have all just accepted it. That shit should be front page news every god damned day until it is killed yet we never even hear about it except from the tin foil hat crowd. This of course is me assuming what is depicted in the movie is true which might be an exaggeration for cinematic effect.
I keep in the back of my mind that it’s an Oliver Stone movie.
As far as I remember Prism was the only program he outed, which was something everyone knew the government was already doing. And other things he leaked was actual sensitive information that should be protected. This is why I’m not all on board the hype train for him, along with his fleeing to Russia which struck me as preplanned, and thus calls the motives into question.
This has always sat very badly with me. It should really bring his motives into questions and give any supporters pause before calling him a hero.
Prism and the X factor key score or whatever. As to what should have been protected, what was that? That they can turn on our web cams and mics? I havn’t finished the movie. I will agree with the Russia angle, that was weird, but where else was he going to go?
Well, it’s been quite a while since it all happened, and I’m drunk (glibs life), so at this moment I can’t site specific things that deserved protection, but I remember it was just an info dump indiscriminate of what should or shouldn’t be protected. (my drunk memory may be wrong)
No that was the attention whore who wanted to chop of his penis.
… Switzerland?
*blank stare*
Do they take whistle blowers or just those long ass horn blowers? RIKOOLAAA
Why isn’t Asange holed up at the Swiss embassy?
I thought he fled to Hong Kong, but they wouldn’t keep him.
F-14 Tomcat – Naval Air Superiority Strike Fighter
The Jaguar E-Type of fighters.
Thanks, Mr. Scum.
I prefer the F-15 for my fighter jet fapping, but the F-14 is damn near as badass. Thanks for the video.
I like both equally but the F-15 is technically superior. I think the F-14 is interesting considering it was originally conceived to counter high-level soviet bombers, but it was able to fulfill other roles so as to make it a versatile fighter/attack platform, despite it’s issues resulting from engine/thrust spacing. As I understand, the F-15 was designed to be an air superiority fighter through and through, in which it succeeded in part thanks to a terrific thrust to weight ratio.
I was always a fan of the F-16 Fighting Falcon.
I wrote another short story for this place, but it turned into a pile of shit. The more I try to salvage it, the worse it gets. Guess sometimes you just gotta walk away.
SEZ U…. SUBMIT IT!!!!
I used to love writing but got out of the habit and lost it over the years. I think it was because I got over some serious anxiety and depression. Even then though I could rarely do stories and could only mostly write about experiences. All my stories sounded stupid. People who can put a story down amaze me. Maybe I need another woman to crush my soul and turn me into a fidgeting miserable mess of a human to get back into the writing swing of things. Did you get any digits from those twenty somethings last night?
God no. I’m not insane. Wife and kid doesn’t mean I can’t talk to pretty ladies every now and then.
You can look at the menu anywhere, but you eat at home.
Oh, and the take we’ve all been waiting for.
Fuck you , Gary.
You could substitute McCain with Karl Dönitz in that tweet and it reads about the same.
McCain / Dönitz swap.
Zap!
MAGLA: Make Gary (Johnson) Libertarian Again!
McCain woulda made them jew bakers cook nazi gay wedding cakes, so he’s a-ok in Gary’s book.
Funny you should mention
This guy has some chioce words for some of us:
cheering for his death indicates that you would literally have killed him if you had the opportunity and with no repercussions
Something something straw-man. Something something non-sequitur. I find this person lack of logic disturbing.
I’m not cheering his death. I’m just not going to praise him, either.
I come to bury McCain, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them;. The good is oft interred with their bones;. So let it be with McCain.
Nice reference. Unforgiven “Deserves got nothing to do with it” acceptable, too.
yeah and I just bet all these dirtbags would be saying exactly the same if it was Trump who keeled over today.
The lionizing is kind of nauseating. At least Razorfist is pushing back. And like him, I’d have a lot (ok a little) more respect for McCain right now if he’d actually resigned a year ago like he should have. But he held on like a petty bitch, and so I’m glad he’s finally dead. Sorry for his famiily, but I don’t know him personally so I don’t care about that part.
I would feel sorry for his family, but at least those I’ve heard from seem intent on using the power he gained in the same way he did, so no shits given.
Well, Cindy will hold the seat until Megan is ready to take it over. I think that’s what John would have wanted.
After all, that is what really matters. If you appose that you’re blaspheming an American Hero.
(who was literally Hitler in 2012)
oops, that last comment was fake news, it was 08
I sappose you’re right.
Shouldn’t we at least credit Johnson for knowing who McCain was?
Give what credit is deserved. We should give Johnson credit for being retarded and McCain credit for being evil.
I was thinking about going to bed, but I realized the glass of single malt I was about to pour wasn’t going to drink itself.
*sigh*
A man’s work is never done.
sexist!
This is the latest I’ve been up in a long while. I just poured a glass of wild turkey 101.
*raises glass*
Just cracked another brew, one hour after your post, light weight.
???
???
???
Say what now?
Well, OK, I take it back then.
Vodka last night. No hair of the dog for me. *Raise bottle of Calpis to cheers*
*psst* you can pour the vodka into the Calpis…
One last short pour of bourbon and into bed by midnight. Early day tomorrow, I need to start on my first cup of coffee by nine, or so.
What’s up for tomorrow? I still have wine to finish, then the rest of my pre-dinner Basil Hayden.
So, unexpectedly, NOT, the MSM are slobbering all over McCain’s dead balls. Pathetic they are.
Wayne’s World and Yoda in one post, that’s the most Gen-X thing since S.F.W.
Huh. I’ve never heard of that movie. And I’m “Gen X”. I’d ask you how it is, but your taste in movies is obviously shit.
I’ll say Stephen Dorf was the star of S.F.W., but his best movie was The Gate.
And if you want to see a SPOILER review of The Gate, here’s an episode of RLM’s ReView.
That movie must be how David Hogg sees himself.
My friend just got a civic type r. Not my cup of tea styling wise, but it is fast! Wow.
Missed everything, too many Army Men, Good night Glibs
I miss the Earth so much, I miss my Wife,
It;s lonely out in space………….
Hope your wife is doing better!
Me too, Bella and I are gong Walking! over to see Momma on Sunday, should be a nice day,
Since this thread is entering the dead zone, I hope it’s OK to plop the start of a story I’m working on. Not happy about how it’s turning out, but maybe there is something worth salvaging in it.
Run
“Aaaaaah.” There was my uvula curled up like a soggy Frito. The darn bug I caught was dry humping my vocal cords, leaving me unable to hum my morning shower song. I flipped the medicine cabinet shut, slipped into my overalls and gripped my lunch bucket. There were bills to pay, so it was off to work I go. Hi-ho, hi-ho.
At the bus stop, a middle-aged lady with a lava lamp figure and sundress that exposed her armpit stubble greeted me. “Morning. It’s late as usual. Why can’t they be on time just once? We can put a man on the … Hellooo, are you listening to me?” I nodded and made a wheezing sound to express I’d lost my voice. She knitted her eyebrows together, leaned in uncomfortably close to my face and fixed her stare on me. The aroma of candy corn and circus peanuts escaped her mouth and wafted up my nostrils. “Oh, you must be one of those alt-right people I read about in Goop.” My eyebrows jumped in disagreement and my hand stroked my throat in a vain attempt to indicate my condition. Her lower lip drew under her two beige incisors, and when enough pressure had built up, she let loose a “Fuck you!” that straightened my uvula for a split second. Rather than brace myself for another Luftwafta attack on my ol’ factory, I turned to leave and take an Uber instead.
When I spun on my heels, I was confronted with a megaphone in my face. A blast of “Whose bus stop? Our bus stop!” ricocheted about my cranium like an NYPD bullet in a Brooklyn stairwell. Desperate, I produced some Chloraseptic spray from my pocket and waved it around frantically to prove the only thing wrong with me was a sore throat. “He’s got mace!” a new voice screamed from behind me. A baby started crying somewhere and a car alarm sprang to life. With my palms pressed to my ears, I stumbled away from the cacophony and, once I found my sea legs, ran.
At the mouth of an alley, I paused. My lunch bucket. I looked back at the bus stop about 200 feet away by now and saw a faux blonde woman waving my lunch bucket over her head in ecstasy like Elizabeth Warren scalping tickets outside Fenway. Casualty of war. I turned and flew down the alley.
Fire escapes and cardboard boxes whizzed by as I fled. Two minutes or two hours later, I found myself leaning against a dumpster, gasping for breath…
He continues running and different mobs of people misinterpret his silence. Feminists, MRAs, Trumpistas. Meh. Hacky writing style is intentional, but it’s just feeling hacky for no good reason.
Too Stoned, didn’t read, will read in the Morning………
Peace out Straff!
Night, dude.
I’d like to see where this goes.
Usually my silence on politics is viewed as agreement. Just my experience.
I think that’s a more interesting story. You could go at both sides of the spectrum with that. The whole idea of literally putting words in your mouth. Like this guy who lost his voice kept becoming THE FACE of each movement he ran into just because he kept silent.
That’s a thought, but mirrors Forest Gump, don’t you think?
Well, Gump was unaware. This being a written account you can use the characters thoughts to show the manipulation, and present a case against he would voice if he had one.
I’m not weeded to it, so let me give it a shot. Thx.
At least through in a shrimp boat and a hurricane though. That can happen in any story.
That used to be the case for me. People would assume I agreed with them and be happy.
Nowadays, more and more people seem to be looking for a confrontation.
I’m a simple country chicken, things are still civil here. As a matter of fact, if not for the internet giving me word of the outside world, I would think everything was fine and dandy in this world.
My life used to be like that. I hate living here.
Finish it….what happens behind the dumpster? Don’t leave us hanging man.
He runs into rat’s nest of Incel/mgtows. I used to write a lot fiction, but I’m way out of practice.
What happens behind the dumpster, stays behind the dumpster.
Brock Turner disagrees.