Heat is the enemy when you are making pie crust. If you want a good flaky crust, you need to keep it cold until you put it in the oven.
The recipe I use, which makes enough for a nine inch double crust or two single crusts, is as follows:
2 ½ C all purpose flour
2 sticks cold butter
1 T sugar
2 tsp salt
¼ C icy cold vodka
¼ C ice water
Instead of vodka you could use white or apple cider vinegar (chill it). Naptown Bill says he grandmother uses sparkling dry white wine or champagne in her pie crust. I may give that or sparkling water a try.
Mix the flour, salt, and sugar in a bowl. Cut the butter into cubes and toss with the flour.
Stick the bowl in the freezer. I also put the blade from my food processor in the freezer as well. After at least one half hour, I put the flour/butter mixture into the bowl of the food processor and give it a few pulses. Don’t over mix, you want the butter to remain in chunks.
Next add the quarter cup of vodka while pulsing the food processor.
(No! Don’t drink it! Put it in the dough.) I keep my vodka in the freezer, so it is ready to go. I keep a pitcher of water in the refrigerator and add ice cubes when I start making pie dough. Add the ice water, a tablespoon at a time until the dough starts to come together. It will still be pretty shaggy. The way to test if you have added enough water is to squeeze a handful. If it crumbles, you need to add a little more. If it breaks into big chunks, it is ready.
Cut a big piece of plastic wrap and dump the dough onto it. It won’t really seem like dough yet. That’s ok as long as you can form it into two discs – about six inches in diameter. Wrap each in plastic and put it in the refrigerator. You should still be able to see pieces of butter in the dough.
As it sits in the fridge, the flour will absorb the water and it will be less crumbly and shaggy.
I like to make pretty things, so when I saw the rose apple pie all over the internet, I had to give it a try. I don’t know who deserves the credit for inventing it. This one has an excellent tutorial for slicing the apples and making the rose. I didn’t really like the recipe though. So I added my own small touches.
If you want to do the rose design, follow the tutorial. Here are my tips and changes. You need about four medium apples. If they’re small, use five, if they’re big use three.
I increased the cinnamon and nutmeg to ½ teaspoon each and added ½ teaspoon of ground ginger and added to the sugar. Then I tossed the slices with the sugar mix and let it sit.
This lets the juice release and creates the liquid you will use for the caramel sauce.
While the apples are macerating, take one of your pie dough discs out of the fridge. Sprinkle a little flour on a cutting board and roll it out. Press hard when rolling because it will be stiff. You want to make as few passes as possible. Flip the dough every two or three passes and more flour as needed to keep it from sticking. When it’s rolled out big enough, use your pie plate as a guide and cut around it. Remember to leave plenty of room around it to account for the depth. Press the dough into the pie plate and dock it with a fork.
After the apple slices have sat for about ½ hour, you need to remove them from the liquid and squeeze the liquid out. I wear gloves for this and laying out the slices because it is ….sticky.
That’s also why I have no pictures of the process. (See the tutorial).
Preheat the oven to 375 now. It took me about five minutes more than the preheat time to lay out the apple slices. The tutorial I linked above says to overlap the ends of the slices. I think that makes the pie too ‘loose’, it creates gaps. I like my apple pie to be packed with apples. So, I put them end to end.
Start on the outside and just keep going until it is all filled in. Lastly, curl one slice and stick in the center.
While the pie is baking, make the caramel sauce with the reserved apple liquid. I added a tsp of vanilla and ¼ C of bourbon (No!, Don’t drink it! – honestly, you people.) Then reduce it to about half the volume. When it is almost done, the bubbles change. It becomes thicker and the bubbles are bigger and almost glossy.
At this point, turn off the heat and slowly pour in some cream. I am always a little nervous making caramel sauce because a work colleague de-gloved two fingers when he spilled some. He had to have two surgeries and it took months to recover. Caramel is no joke.
When you are ready to serve, pour caramel sauce over the pie.
Never thought about vodka before.
Well, obviously I think about booze all the time, just not for pie crusts.
How much butter do you use?
Oops! Two sticks.
I’ll add it.
Nicely done!
Great looking pie! The first time I nailed a pie crust, I was giddy as a school girl.
I keep vodka in the freezer too, for Grehounds.;)
“The first time I nailed a pie crust,”
Phrasing?
Hmm, didn’t think that one through.
+1 American Pie
Alcohol isn’t good for dogs.
Completely disagree. Dogs love alcohol, particularly the ruby grapefruit breed.
Why do we even give flowers as gifts at this point?
My wife loves to get flowers. So, for me, that’s why.
Bake her one, then.
That is beautiful. Now I need to make a pie. (No, I am not at all suggestible. Why do you ask?)
I usually use white vinegar, simply because it’s less expensive.
I didn’t say use good vodka.
That looks fancy.
Christ.
I don’t typically eat sweets, but man that looks good right now. Beautiful also.
I love the smell of baking sugar, but don’t like sweets. I took this to work and it was gone by 9. I didn’t eat any, but several people asked for the recipe, especially for the sauce.
That is absolutely amazing, Tulip!
Looks like a good crust!
I like to make savory pies more than sweet ones. I saute mirepoix, make it into a roux, then add either roast chicken or beef and the corresponding broth. Season it with salt, pepper, and rosemary, then use it as a filling in a double crust pie. It’s a very hearty winter meal, and it can even be a weeknight dinner if you make a big pot filling and some hunks of pie crust ahead of time.
You can keep pie crust in the freezer for a month or two.
Ok, what’s the vodka / vinegar / wine for?
The alcohol evaporates faster than water and helps prevent gluten formation.
Ah, ok. This is why I cook and don’t bake.
Why don’t we want glutens? Aside from gluten sensitivity, I’m guessing.
It makes the crust tough instead of tender or flaky.
That’s also why you only mix until it comes together and handle as little as possible. It keeps the butter from melting (also helps flakiness) and prevents gluten.
Well, hell. I’ll stick to the easy stuff, like pot noodles… and bomb disposal. Less chance of being disappointed.
First time I’ve seen that rose pattern. Amazing!
And props for doing your slicing by hand.
But how big of a piece do I get? Will there be equitable distribution? //jk
Looks good. I am trying to smoke fish and beef this afternoon. I am doing it on a gas grill using smoker chips. But I had a hard time getting the chips to start smoking and stay smoking. And apparently my grill can’t go low and slow. It is a two-burner and I am only using one burner on its lowest setting and it is still almost 300 degrees according to the thermometer in the lid (I know these can be inaccurate). Does anyone have any tips?
It’s tough with that setup. My four burner holds temp pretty well and I use a tube with wood chips for the smoke. I can only have one burner on.
You could put a water pan in and see if that helps.
Do you happen to have a Weber kettle? There are some accessories for that that look pretty intriguing.
I’ve been using my Weber kettle to smoke lately and I can get it to about 250 and hold there pretty reliably. Can’t get it much lower, though, before the coals start dying.
This is the grill. It is probably just too small to do low temp. But I’ll try the water pan next time. Stuff I’ve had on it is mostly cooked at this point.
The water makes a big difference. The Webber smoky mountain smoker used a big bowl of water over the coals to maintain temp. I’m using mine right now. Without the water it will climb to over 300F with it it will never go above 250F. You can use a cheap stainless steel bowl from the dollar store or Walmart to keep the temp even.
I have that grill, but I don’t use it for smoking. I use a Weber Smokey Mountain for that.
Let me see if I can SF/Gilmore a linkie. Edit Fairies stand by….
Smokey Mountain 18″
For $200 more you can get a pellet grill from Academy Sports.
It goes from cold smoke to 500 degrees open wood flame.
They make uncreduble wood fired pizzas.
Do you have a smoker box for the chips, or are you wrapping them in foil, are you soaking them? Don’t be afraid to open the lid a crack to control heat ( I use various size rocks to keep it more or less open) you’ll lose some smoke but you can always add more chips.
I am using a smoker box and I did soak them. It was hard to get them smoking in the first place. I am wondering if I should put the box under the grate directly on the flavor bars next time.
Definitely on the bars.
In the past I’ve used a 3 ring steel can with the lid still partially attached for a smoker box with a gas grill. Put it on the burner or flavor bars after soaking the chips.
This^^
Since we’re on the subject, anyone use the Smoke ‘n Sear? Someone linked it recently and I’m seriously thinking about ordering one.
A guy was demoing these at Home Depot recently. It has a thermostat that controls the feed rate of pellets into the burner. I was intrigued.
One of the guys at the office has that. It’s nice, bit a little too high tech for me.
I’ve already got an expensive grill. I was just looking for a worthy add on to my old Weber kettle.
I have one and they are incredible.
Pellets are cheaper than charcoal as well
I’ve never even cooked on a gas grill, much less smoke with one. So I have no idea.
I’ve had better luck not soaking the chips first.
soaking wood chips is sorta a counter intuitive. There are demonatratable YouTube videos that expose it doesn’t really do anything except produce steam rather than smoke. I also recommend chunks not chips.
If you dont have a smoker box, buy some cheap tins, drop your chips in em and cover with foil. pierce some venting on top and drop offset to above the coals or above the unlit burners(s). the tin should conduct the heat.
I’m not the best cook out there, so I usually make an apple crisp instead. Much easier.
With the Brennan article today saying Trump is guilty of treason along with a few other such pieces that have popped up of late, I think we’ve hit the stage where the left has decided they are going to shift from asking if there was collusion to stating it as a fact. It’s really their standard tactic. With the elections just around the corner, they can’t be bothered by little things like a complete absence of evidence. All right thinking people agree, and if you don’t you obviously aren’t right thinking.
It should also be added that they aren’t going to put their collusion eggs in the Mueller basket with this move. They know the best they can hope for from Mueller is obstruction with regards to Trump. I mean, he may not even get Manafort’s pelt.
If Manafort’s jury comes back with not guilty on all counts, those jurors may need protection. That would make them colluding russian nazis obviously.
I look forward to Putin hacked the jury storylines. They all really voted guilty, but a Russian spy switched the card and they read not guilty instead.
But it’s really hard for me to see a not guilty verdict. They have 18 charges they’re throwing at the wall. Best you can hope for is a a couple holdouts.
The guy’s guilty of something, else why would they be investigating him so hard?
The Brennan stuff just astounds me. Here’s a guy who perjured himself before Congress multiple times, who no less a personage than Sen. Ron Wyden called out for lying, a guy who deliberately told bold-faced lies in Congressional hearings about everything from collateral damage from drone strikes (“We’re so good at this we only ever kill the individual person we’re targetting,”), kill lists that include American citizens, torture, the works, a person who is a villain by any measure, but particularly by the standards ostensibly held by the Democrats, and he’s getting the five-star treatment from the press and the left because they hate Trump so damn much. People shouldn’t be asking why his clearance was pulled, they should be asking why he isn’t doing life in a federal penitentiary, or why he hasn’t been shot for treason.
OT: You know what’s fucked up? So, yesterday was my 40th, and because my wife was a bridesmaid in her high school friend’s wedding that day I spent most of it in a car ferrying her and my daughter back and forth over the Bay Bridge and around Dover before finally standing around an alpaca farm where the reception was held, sweating like a whore in church and trying desperately to get drunk. Anyway, nothing but grief from her about it. No gift, no party, no spending a day at museums or other nerdy crap I like to do, no happy hour, no card, no back rub. Not shit. Long story short, she’s been kind of a b about the whole thing and I’m like really, really pissed off. But that’s not the fucked up part. I mean it is, but not the one I’m talking about.
I say that to say this. Because I’m trying to figure out if my being pissed off is a normal reaction I DuckDuckGo’d about it. Every single result for “ignored 40th birthday”, “wife ignored 40th birthday” and even “wife ignored husband’s 40th birthday” is about husbands either ignoring their wives’ birthdays or doing shitty birthdays, and bitching about how men are THE WORST. Now that’s fucked up.
As long as you got drunk it’s a win. Just get hammered tonight and forget about it. /Not a licenced relationship councilor
So you’re coming out as a woman?
I’ve expressed my opinions on birthdays in the past. I don’t want to hear grown men talk about birthdays.
Birthday or no birthday, I’d tell her she can go do her wedding bullshit by herself. I’m not spending my time on that bullshit.
“Brochettaward” is Algonquin for “lady’s man.”
Better than ‘wise latina’ .
Your wife’s high school friend is getting married at 40ish? Imma guess she’s an uggo.
She got pregnant out of wedlock when she was young, like 17 or 18 I think, and kind of spent her 20s trying to land a man with money. At some point she gave that up, went to school, and now she’s an RN making a pretty good living. She’s actually pretty, but I suspect she’s an effing lunatic.
If you didn’t even get birthday sex, you have every reason to be royally pissed.
Happy Belated Birthday
That’s is seriously inconsiderate shit right there. Sorry, your birthday sucked.
A belated Happy Birthday!
Sorry to hear about your day – that is f’d up.
an alpaca farm where the reception was held
I… can’t… even.
Happy birthday! If we’d known, we would have sent you a card mocking your advanced age.
40 is not advanced.
I think I have underwear that old.
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Thanks for the well-wishes, y’all. I mean, I know it’s a dumb thing to get salty over, but there it is. But I am like, “What the shit?!” at the double-standard on random search results from the Internet. The war on men is real!
I think it’s just more that women on average tend to be emotional bitches who get hysterical about this sort of thing and men don’t. There’s a reason it’s called “hysterical”.
/this is why there are no female libertarians….
Happy Birthday Bill. I suggest that the next Saturday or Sunday (or both) of your choosing, you leave early and stay out late and do whatever the hell you want. If you get a text asking where you are, reply that you’re celebrating your damn birthday and then turn the phone off. That’s what I would do, but I’m not really a good role model so…
Well, I’ve got a couple of tattoos lined up, and the next time I get an earful about how she doesn’t like guns in the house I’ll drop a “Really? Well, just pretend they’re my birthday and ignore them.” But yeah, I’m going to my friend’s bachelor party weekend in a month, and if I need to I’ll justify blowing a bunch of dough on steaks and guns with it being a late 40th gift to myself. Besides which, my daughter just walked over to me wearing a blanket as a cape and holding a curtain rod as a scepter, bowed, and told me that she’s the blanket princess, so that helped.
Happy Birthday!
and the next time I get an earful about how she doesn’t like guns in the house I’ll drop a “Really? Well, just pretend they’re my birthday and ignore them.”
I’m not married and have no girlfriend right now, but I think that will not go over well.
Awww….
Anyway, happy birthday.
Happy Birthday, good sir.
my 40th was the last(hopefully) time I threw up from alcohol.
The eagle rare after the night drinking beer put me over the top.
On my 40th, my wife bought some paint and brushes since I had been planning on repainting the garage anyways.
On my 41st birthday, I was single again and spent the night sloppily hitting on a stripper.
The two events are are unrelated, but act as a reminder that birthdays can get better.
This is how I cook bacon.
That’s a good idea. I hate the mess from making bacon.
The keys are low temperature and watch out for the grease fire the next time you use your grill.
Mr. Mojeaux is going to try this: bacon weave pizza. I wove a sheet of bacon to wrap around a pineapple. Generally, I don’t like oven-baked bacon because it never gets crispy for me, but we will see.
You’re putting pineapple on pizza?
“That’s not pizza”
/SP
Pineapple and green chile makes for some good pizza, folks.
Fruit does not belong anywhere near a pizza, let alone on one.
You’re dead to me. Dead, I say!
You, of anyone, SP, I’d figured would get it.
I’ve been downhearted baby… ever since the day we met…
No. Dude’s going low-carb, but he does not believe in pineapple on pizza anyway. I personally cannot stand pineapple at all, so that’s a nonstarter for me.
*I* wrapped bacon around a pineapple once, which is the extent of my bacon-weaving experience.
Looks around, whispers “I like pineapple on pizza”
I don’t mind pineapple and ham on a pizza, the thing I loathe on pizza is green olives.
Or any olives. Creepy mouthfeel.
Green Olive and Pepperoni. Stuffed. From Pequod’s.
Black Olives Rule on Pizza!
Howdy! I’m Home…..
Be bold in your awesomeness! Doom and I suffer abuse here for our adventurous spirits but we endeavor to persevere.
Nice to have a fellow connoisseur aboard!
Et tu, Tulip? *sigh*
(I do NOT stutter!)
Me too. People are weird.
I mean, on the one hand, the pedant in me looks at that and says, “This is not pizza.” On the other hand, the day I turn down bacon I want a close friend to put me out of my misery like Old Yeller. I’ll bet if you were to finish it in the oven on a raised grill type of deal, like a cooling rack, it’d get good and crispy. Or just letting it drain out on paper towels.
Just make the pizza without the pineapple.
bacon weave pizza
*faints*
But seriously,
beerbacon is proof that there is a god and he wants us to be happy.the only way to cook bacon
¼ C of bourbon (No!, Don’t drink it! – honestly, you people.)
You know your audience.
The pie looks great!
Tulip, that pie looks amazing.
Racist in Chief
“An Aug. 7 NAACP poll found that 21 percent of black registered voters approve of Trump’s job performance. Even better, in Wednesday’s Rasmussen tracking survey, 36 percent of black voters gave the President thumbs up, compared to 19 percent a year ago.”
If this is true, Democrats are in for a world of hurt in upcoming elections.
I’m going to try to capture some beer offerings here in a few. For now, this is just a can of Stella in the cutest little beer glass ever.
Oh, so cute!
It’s a little…odd.
Germans are a little odd, you never noticed that?
Thanks Tulip! Bookmarked!
.
OK, just curious if any Glibs have tried any of these.
Beer
From left to right:
Berliner Berg Pale Ale
C.&A. Veltins Grevensteiner
Allgauer Buble Bier Elderbrau
Aktien Landbier Frankisch Dunkel
Gaffel Kolsch
Bayreuther Hell
No one likes a show-off!
The last two I’ve had. Both were good.
You can get Gaffel Kölsch in the US. I’ve not seen any of the others in the US.
I’ve seen the Gaffel Kolsch here as well, but never tried it. The 2nd, 3rd, and 4th from the left are the ones I’m most interested in. Nice bottles also.
Gaffel Kolsch is very, very good.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dkr2MDTVAAA4Ilu.jpg
Seems excessive.
If You go into a fair Fight, you have already lost,
OverMatch Bitches! Kill that Fly with a Bazooka!
I don’t want to pay for a bazooka, when I already have rolled up newspaper.
Tent is either
Empty or
Contains 4 illiterate goat herders or
a dozen little girls
My God, what a beauty.