O, what a marvel it appeared to me,
When I beheld three faces on his head!
The one in front, and that vermilion was;
Two were the others, that were joined with this
Above the middle part of either shoulder,
And they were joined together at the crest;
And the right-hand one seemed ‘twixt white and yellow;
The left was such to look upon as those
Who come from where the Nile falls valley-ward.
Underneath each came forth two mighty wings,
Such as befitting were so great a bird;
Sails of the sea I never saw so large.
No feathers had they, but as of a bat
Their fashion was; and he was waving them,
So that three winds proceeded forth therefrom.
Thereby Cocytus wholly was congealed.
With six eyes did he weep, and down three chins
Trickled the tear-drops and the bloody drivel.
At every mouth he with his teeth was crunching
A sinner, in the manner of a brake,
So that he three of them tormented thus.
To him in front the biting was as naught
Unto the clawing, for sometimes the spine
Utterly stripped of all the skin remained.
— The Divine Comedy, Canto 34, lines 37-60 (Alighieri, trans. Longfellow, 1867)
Today, in an op-ed penned for CNN, Jeffery Sachs reminded all and sundry that he is an vile, unrepentant prick. As the avatar of the demoness Abyzou made manifest in flesh, Sachs used his op-ed as an opportunity to weave the textual fabric of self-righteousness to clothe the emaciated and decrepit form of his morality. Having donned the cloak of sanctimony, Sachs proceeded to list the ways in which he would use armed violence to redistribute the wealth of Bezos, Zuckerberg, Page, Brin, and Gates to satisfy his own prerogatives.
Sachs, in all his munificence, states that he would first give these robber barons of the Silicone Age the opportunity to “voluntarily” donate 1% (and who among us could argue with a mere one percent?) of their net worth per annum, but admits that “when they don’t, governments should put on a 1% net worth levy to fund the basic health and education needs of the world’s poorest people.” Not content to employ the legal monopoly of violence held by government to strong-arm Elon Musk into giving up his rocketships, (and by “strong-arm” I mean “asphyxiate for not paying taxes” all Eric Garner-style) Sachs concluded his jeremiad with the dire prediction that the Neanderthal-browed, proletarian mob, having been whipped into frenzy by the populist murmurings of Donald Trump, will storm the campuses of SpaceX and Blue Origin looking for blood:
The mega-rich expect the adulation of the masses and often get it. Yet the forbearance of society for the antics of the mega-rich will soon wear thin. Too many people are suffering, too many lower-skilled workers are losing their jobs and earnings, too much wealth is being frivolously squandered, and too much power over our lives is being asserted by big tech and other corporate giants.
Donald Trump channeled the rising unhappiness into his electoral victory, but his trade wars and tax cuts for the rich only widen the divide. Real answers depend on redirecting the mega-wealth towards those in urgent need.
Nevertheless, like a mafioso “convincing” a shop owner to contribute to his protection racket, Sachs offers us a way out, “[f]or those who don’t do so voluntarily, governments should put a levy on mega-wealth.” Let us be mindful, however, that when we pay indulgences to the Church of Sachs, what constitutes “mega-wealth” would be, of course, determined by its high priest: Jeffery David Sachs, the Quetelet Professor of Sustainable Development at Columbia University’s School of International and Public Affairs and Professor of Health Policy and Management at Columbia’s School of Public Health. Oh, what burden must rest upon his wrinkled brow! How fortunate are we to be living in an age where we can hear, from his honeyed lips, the pronouncements of our philosopher-king, Sachs! Indeed, have no fear! For once we have achieved Sachsian utopia, he assures us that “there will be enough time and wealth to reach for the stars.”
In the ancient mythology of Mediterranean and Mesopotamian cultures, envy was thought to manifest as harm to the person envied through the “evil eye.” Indeed, the Latin word for envy, “invidia” originates from the verb “invideo“(i.e., in+video); literally meaning “to look into/against”, but having the connotations of “being envious of,” being prejudiced against,” or “wishing harm upon.” To combat the baneful influence of the invidious evil eye, people in these cultures wore protective amulets. (And many still do!) One of the most common and powerful amulets against the evil eye was known in Latin as a fascinus.
While our cultural mores may have fallen so far that we may scratch our heads over the import of a flying phallus creature, our ancestors knew that this is a perfect example of sympathetic magic, that is ‘like produces, or wards off, like’. And what better way to combat giant pricks like Jeffery Sachs than with a giant prick?
Having read this article, you may, perchance, wish to purchase a fascinus. If so, you may start here. And if you have less propriety than I do, you may wish to use this as your shipping address.
And, if you found this article fascinating, there’s a reason for that.
Comments
102 responses to “Jeffery David Sachs Is a Sanctimonious Prick”
Are those three figures in the last picture intended for smoking, making music or something too ghastly to imagine?
My guess is that they are oil lamps.
I’m flooded with a sense of relief. Thank you.
I’m going to go with tobacco pipes.
Tobacco was still an ocean away.
Fascini were often in the form of oil lamps.
This one has a certain je ne sais quoi
I heard they’ve seen that drone over the skies of Yemen.
Looks like one of the Earth fighters from Space: Above and Beyond.
I loved that show.
The perfect gift for a friend who complains that it burns when he pees.
I was distressed by the lack of sexual imagery and/or perversion at the beginning but then you totally redeemed yourself. Good job.
I thought the very first image was the most perverse thing I have seen.
That… gremlin or whatever the hell that is in the middle is disturbing me.
Soros?
Ah. Well, that explains it.
I know the evil mother fucker in the middle is Soros, I assume one of the others is Sachs; who’s the third?
Ban Ki-moon.
Oh sure. Christ, what a trio of assholes.
So what you’re saying that relatively, Swiss has a small dick?
He is the least swarthy of the three.
And OMWC has a noodle dick
The original source for the phrase smoke a dong.
Those are pipes aren’t they?
smokem them peace pipe
It is not the size of your fascinus, it is where you stick it.
It’s probably best I don’t interact with people like Sachs, but if I had the chance to ask “so you think the government should take by force someone’s wealth, perhaps even with the threat of death, to redistribute it?” in hopes that they would simply answer “yes.” I wonder if this would cause an outrage or nods of agreement.
His Twitter followers, currently festooning him with praise, make no effort to hide their views with calls for Bezos’s head on a pike.
Interesting link. Sachs refers to his own plan as smart and sustainable and he works with the UN. I am now certain it is neither smart nor sustainable and is an invitation to graft.
What happens after they blow through the rich people’s wealth?
They claim the plan failed due to kulaks and wreckers, deny ever hearing of (much less reading Margaret Thatcher), and tell us about their new more of the same plan that is sure to work this time.
I can’t wait for a chance to try true socialism!
That’s the thing. Why the hell should we extort wealth from billionaires to just piss it away into the hands of 3rd World kelptocrats and and NGO parasites?
Sachs is just rent-seeking and calling it virtue.
I completely agree with you.
In my experience, asking people this question results in a bunch of blustery talk about the will of the people, democracy, and the common good.
What’s strange is that most of these people would agree that if you bought it, traded for it, created it yourself, or received it as a gift, you own it. But they have also taken up this idea that ownership rights disappear when someone has “enough wealth” or “too much wealth”. It’s never mentioned what this point is or how it is calculated.
Some people might give some explanation along the lines of “nobody has the right to fritter money away on meaningless luxuries when other people are struggling to stay alive“. But if you carry this to the logical conclusion, it means that almost everyone in the United States should be living in a shack and eating lentils so they can mail away their “excess” income to Africa and India. If other peoples’ need invalidates your right to your own money, how is it permissible to live in a nice house, go on vacation, or treat yourself to a bottle of champagne? The rich “progressives” in America have a lot to answer for if a poor person’s need outweighs ownership.
I had a conversation with mys sister a couple years ago about how taxes are taken ‘by threat of violence’. She contested it wasn’t, it was taken at threat of taking you to court. I asked how they forced you to show up at court, ‘If you don’t go then you go to jail’. I asked how do they force you to go to jail ‘Because that’s the law.’ I continued down the rabbit hole, idea not received. I don’t get people.
Yea, they try to argue that government actions are not backed up by a threat of death because there are many steps between…
But if that’s true, then you could also say that a mafia loanshark does not use violence because he’ll probably ask you for the money a few times, then ask you in an increasingly menacing tone, and only then will he graduate to violence.
I think what most people fail to understand is anyone with money has a “fuck you I’m out” plan which probably involves the Bahamas or someplace similar. Imagine if someone like Bezos shut down Amazon and left. Maybe Mark Cuban is more appropriate. Bezos is a bit of a lefty and would donate his 1%, only to see it magically come back to him due to connections.
Yes. Yes, I have missed your brand of poignant diatribe for some time and commend this latest effort. Well done.
::slow, prolonged clapping::
The muse visited me this morning.
#metoo
Looks like Jesse won the big dick lottery. But he needs to go to the gym to work off those man boobs.
Trannie?
More likely Schumer.
Does the gift shop charge by the inch? Cuz if so, I can only afford the Swiss model?
OT: The ACLU just announced that it is defending Brennan after he lost his security clearance. They have truly jumped the shark. It’s like they’ve finally lived up to every right-wing stereotype about themselves
Also, I applaud HM for beginning his article by talking about a “dick” and ending it with penises. Nice segway
How is the revocation of his security clearance a civil liberties issue? Serious question.
Saying they are trying to silence his free speech is the only Stretch Armstrong course I can see. Something along the lines of, revoking his clearance means he can’t speak publicly about national security. But of course I’m not a shit-weasel, race-baiting, elitist prick, so I may be wrong about their strategy.
But Brennan’s been engaging in hate speech.
But his is just the right flavor of hate speech.
I assume they are saying that even though he’s retired, they need to be able to use his knowledge from when he was director in current investigations/actions. They can’t give him the necessary information he would need to provide guidance if he doesn’t have clearance.
That’s an administrative decision that, theoretically, has national security implications. I can only guess they are claiming it’s a due process violation of some kind.
Listen to his last appearance on Econtalk to get a sense of his full dickishness in his own voice.
I found this to be the most insightful:
Because Trump voters will be totally happy to see a tax on the wealthiest of the 1% so that it can be shipped off to help dirt poor Africans. This guy has his fingers on the pulse of America.
Sure, on the left half of it anyway.
Trombone Zucchini for the slavers. Up against the wall. No, turn the other way.
Meant this one only.
Don’t forget the penis gourd.
http://asopa.typepad.com/asopa_people/2012/07/oh-my-gourd-guard-it-with-your-life.html
I just noticed the other day Walmart has the zucchini labeled as zucchini squash, #allsquashmatters
Now I understand why there are so many people in India.
This song is panty-dropping fire.
You eat many meals a day… I’m so stealing that line.
I think he’s saying she’s extra thicc.
“You eat many meals a day,
I congratulate you.”
*nods sagely*
Seriously, within two seconds.
That’s not Indian music, this is!
Here’s another good one
This might be the quintessential HM article:
– Fancy linguistic stuff
– Middle Age literary quote
– Eloquent libertarian screed
– Flying penises
Also, Tesla may be a complete clusterfuck, but I hold out hope for SpaceX.
Now it is complete.
THICC.
I’m in awe.
OK.
I’m thinking of wading into the morass of NFA ownership. I’m looking at a silencer and/or an SBR.
– Should I do a trust?
– Can I put both a silencer and an SBR on the same trust?
– Are you really effectively signing away your 4A rights (not that they mean much anyway) by getting into this?
– Can the ATF inspect my home at will without warning?
Any other information would be appreciated.
Know that a trust will add about six months to the process.
So Moon, Sachs and Soros are Lucifer or are they Brutus, Judas and Cassius being devoured by Lucifer? I’m going with the latter just because I want to.
Larry, Moe and Curly.
It’s the Satanic Trinity. In order form left to right; the Anti-Christ, Satan, the False Prophet
This one, right?
Hmmm…the resemblance is uncanny!
Where did you find a picture of SugarFree?
I intended the former. Mostly because Soros looks like he has eaten a baby or two in his time.
That makes the baby a traitor. Why do you hate babies?
Because they’re selfish little fuckers?
From the salute, I’d say we have a Nazi riding a penis.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIi1JDEUwAAneQE.jpg
I think she’s just getting ready to catch a
tastesample.She’s measuring it. Women are obsessed with size. But we all know it’s not the motion of the ocean, it’s the size of the boat…oh…
I was expecting Michelle (?) “Bombshell” Something or other.
So, serious question; how long has circumcision been a thing?
Point of clarification: I’m asking about Male circumcision
Since Abraham made his covenant with God. So longer than written historical record.
To clarify, soft tissue doesn’t exactly stick around for analysis of such a practice. The Jews claim it as a practice from time immorium, and I don’t believe their is any actual historical writings beyond that, I may be wrong.
I have heard, but not researched, that it may be beneficial against infection in the middle east. Heard a long time ago, bust something about smegma and the clothes of the time in the arid region. Like I said, no research done on my behalf.
Since at least the writing of the Torah, and probably long before that.
The reason given there is that it’s a covenant with G-d marking Jews as the chosen people. Muslims also adopted it from the Abrahamic tradition.
Maimonides claims that its purpose beyond the covenant was to reduce sexual pleasure for both men and women to prevent them from becoming sex maniacs and distracting them from Torah study and household duties.
A metastudy compiling all the highest quality research on the matter concluded that there are no significant differences in sensation or function between cut and uncut.
YMMV.
Sachs’ high school graduation pic.
https://www.quartoknows.com/blog/quartohomes/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2013/09/pond2-112.jpg
That’s Man Thing‘s picture you liar!
That was such a blatant Swamp Thing ripoff.
I’m looking for the post where Lafe Long linked to his Top Hat extension for Grease Monkey. I tried the search function, but it kinda sucks. Can anyone help a Glib out?
Also, anyone seen Lafe Long around lately?
Chafed seems to be the only other Glib on right, so I say hello.
Hi CPRM. I saw your post the other night about small towns. I take your point but I think small is a matter of perspective rather than an absolute measurement.
Standard glibertarian disclaimer: not a euphemism.
Well, I don’t exactly remember what I said. But I come from and moved backed to for many reasons a town of 500. I believe it was something to do with towns of like 10,000 being called ‘small towns’, yeah that’s where I stand. I live in a town, a ‘small town’ therefore’ must be smaller than my town.
And that goes to as well ‘everyone knows everyone’ small town crap. Hell, only the nosy people know who lives in each house in my town of 500. And they don’t know them, they just know who they are.
I imagine there aren’t many that qualify.
FYI, SP is here. She is always watching, ever vigilant against those that would spoil the realm. She may not reveal Herself but in the fullness of time her presence is felt.
SP can only be up this late because it’s summer, during the schoolyear there would be ‘questions’ if she didn’t get to school on time and OMWC don’t want that.
Spent my day off cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. Scrubbed everything, stove hood, stove, oven, cabinets, counters, garbage can etc. Why? Fruit flies started congregating. Had to do this one day after my wife “cleaned the kitchen thoroughly. Cleaning at closing time at McDonald’s when I was 16 taught me how to do it right. She’ll wipe around all the items on the counter and think she did something. God bless her, but, man does that half assed method of cleaning drives me batshit.
“Sanctimonious prick” seems a bit generous to describe Sachs. A sanctimonious prick is still premisiing his point in virtue. Sachs is doing something more vile. He’s doing what a sanctimonious prick would do, but holding vice as virtue.