I’ll be leaving in the wee hours tonight for a week in Atlanta, which vies for “My Least Favorite Place On Earth.” Visiting there always increases my admiration for General Sherman. While I’m gone, SP already has arranged to have my lab fumigated and our dog to be dyed in her school colors. Oh yes, and to eat the crop of tomatoes which is just starting to ripen, then taunt me with photos. So if I seem a bit crankier than usual today, you now know why.

Nonetheless, I’ll pretend to smile and offer up some links to news I think is worthy of discussion. But first, the birthday ritual. On this day was born Neil Armstrong, who didn’t punch anyone, okay quarterback Roman Gabriel, remarkable percussionist Airto Moreira, and Guinness Book Of World Records certified record holder for “Most Farts Per 24 Hour Period,” the Glibertarians’ own Sloopy. The long-suffering Banjos recalls the first time Sloopy demonstrated the flame trick. “He laid down on his back, swung his legs over his head like a yoga pose, pulled a cigarette lighter out of his pocket, held it near his butt, and lit a flame that could have cooked Quarrel. Sigh. I knew at that moment that this was the man for me!”

On to the news.

 

Funny how this aspect of one of the stupidest government subsidies (and there’s some fierce competition) was sorta just glossed over and forgotten until now.

“[A]ir quality modeling suggests that production and use of ethanol as fuel to displace gasoline is likely to increase such air pollutants as PM2.5, ozone, and SOx in some locations,” read a section of the report pertaining to air quality. While traditional gasoline contains more CO2, ethanol-based fuels have more nitrogen oxides (NOx), which can be more harmful to human health.

But without ethanol subsidies, how will presidential candidates manage to bribe the voters in early primaries? This is clearly a crisis, and this report must be suppressed for the good of everyone.

 

Our elections would be so much more interesting if campaigns were more like this.

Addressing the nation after the attack, Maduro said he saw a “flying device” explode in front of him during his speech. The president also announced that authorities have captured some people responsible for the drone attack, whom he called “material authors,” according to AP.

The president blamed the alleged assassination attempt on Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos and those on the far-right of Colombia and Venezuela’s political spectrums, according to Al Jazeera’s translation of Maduro’s speech.

Now THAT is meddling in elections, not the “Hey, someone said something on Facebook, omg omg omg!” South America, you’re doing it right.

 

I detect the fine hand of Pie here. Not the Pie character from Hat and Hair, but the European correspondent for Glibertarians.com.

The florescent pink graffiti that was painted on the Memorial House Elie Wiesel in Sighet in eastern Romania read “public toilet” and “Nazi Jew lying in hell with Hitler” as well as “Anti-Semite pedophile.”

The pink color was the giveaway. I can hear Pie snickering, “I want to see how they’ll blame this on Trump.” Well done, Pie, well done!

 

Apparently, the Iranians feel that they have an excess of small boats and want to have some of them blown out of the water for an insurance scam.

These military maneuvers are normally later in the year and heavily publicized by Iran. Not so these past few days. The only information about them has come US defense officials, describing “dozens of small boats” in a “massive military exercise.”

Interestingly, this piece is presented as straight news and not labeled as “opinion” or “analysis.”

They have plenty of potential targets — 20% of the world’s traded oil passes through it — so whoever advised President Donald Trump to unilaterally pull out of the multinational agreement to cut Iran’s pathway to making a nuclear bomb will have undoubtedly reminded him about the Strait of Hormuz. If they didn’t or he didn’t hear them, Trump is likely to learn a whole lot more about them now. The sanctions he triggered on Iran by pulling out of the deal are about to begin to come in to effect.

How anyone can’t see that CNN just reports the news straight with no biases is a mystery to me.

 

Those of us who remember the good days at Hit & Run fondly recall Lobster Girl. In the Department of Where Are They Now, an important update.

A Maine woman has been stripped of her title as 2018 Maine Lobster Festival Sea Goddess after a photo of her holding a marijuana cigarette was circulated within 24 hours of her being crowned…

Taylor Hamlin said she was told to sign a document saying she could no longer fulfill her duties. Organizers said the photos “were not in keeping with the behavior and image of the Maine Sea Goddess.” Crown Princess Erin Dugan will assume Sea Goddess duties.

The duties of a Sea Goddess are onerous and many. Taylor, you’re better off spending your days smoking weed. It’s legal in Maine now.

And now I’ll leave you with Old Guy Music. I am an unabashed fan of The Suitcase Junket. I don’t use the word “genius” lightly, but Matt Lorenz is a genius, manipulating sound the way Jackson Pollack manipulated paint. Seeing him live is an exhausting experience, just from the sheer energy and power of the performance. I don’t know how he does it.