STEVE SMITH TUESDAY MORNING LINKS

STEVE SMITH CONTINUE TELL STORY. LAST TIME, HIM TELL ABOUT SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN. IT FEATURE GOOD FIGHT SCENE!

GIVE HUG TO STEVE AUSTIN!

BUT THING GO BAD WHEN CUT ALL RAPE SCENES STEVE SMITH WANTED…”MAKE ACCURATE!” STEVE SMITH SAY. “We are very sorry, Mr. Smith, but we are bound by the Code! The Code of Practices for Television Broadcasters won’t let us show that, no matter how accurate it might be!”

STEVE SMITH DISAPPOINT. HIM ASK AGENT WHY NO TELL HIM THAT. AGENT NOT HAVE GOOD ANSWER. STEVE SMITH FIRE AGENT. BY FIRE, MEAN RAPE…AND TERMINATE EMPLOYMENT RELATIONSHIP.

LAST STRAW COME IN 2 PARTS. FIRST, STEVE SMITH GET NO ROYALTY FROM TOY SET!

THEM TRY MAKE “BIGFOOT” LOOK LIKE JERRY GARCIA IN BEAR SUIT!

 

THEN STEVE SMITH SEE HIM IDEAS STOLEN! THEM MAKE CROSSOVER WITH BIONIC WOMAN. ANDRE GIANT GET REPLACED, WHEN HIM STAND SOLIDARITY WITH STEVE SMITH. THEM USE LURCH INSTEAD!?

STEVE SMITH VERY ANGRY. HIM ARGUE WITH STUDIO EXECUTIVES, BUT NO HELP (BY ARGUE, MEAN RAPE). THEM TOO COKED UP MIND RAPE. STEVE SMITH LOSE BEST METHOD PERSUADE…

NEXT TIME, STEVE SMITH TELL HOW THINGS END UP….BUT RIGHT NOW YOU WANT START DAY WITH LINKS. SO HERE ARE LINKS FOR FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE.

  1. STEVE SMITH THINK COUSIN SEA SMITH GET ANGRY. WHY STEAL SHARK?! LUCKY FOR SHARK, THIEF DUMB – “HEY, WHO WANT BUY SHARK?”
  2. THIS SENTENCE SILLY. STEVE SMITH HIM TEACH CRAZY LADY MANNERS. BY TEACH MANNERS, MEAN RAPE.
  3. STEVE SMITH WAIT AND SEE. HIM HEAR THIS BEFORE. STILL, JAW-JAW BETTER THAN WAR-WAR. AND RAPE-RAPE BETTER THAN RAPE (RIGHT WHOOPI?)
  4. STEVE SMITH DISAPPOINT.

 

Comments

460 responses to “STEVE SMITH TUESDAY MORNING LINKS”

  1. Slammer

    STEVE SMITH NOT WAKE UP EARLY HE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT

    1. AlexinCT

      AND BY UP MEAN RAPE?

  2. I miss a few days and STEVE SMITH gets moved to Mourning Lynx duty?

    Dammit.

    1. STEVE SMITH HAS DUTY. DUTY TO RAPE THE WORLD.

    2. bacon-magic

      STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT CAPED LIT QTIP

  3. Pope Jimbo

    You guys thought you had to worry about Hillary in 2020?

    We’ve got other things to worry about here in Minnesoda.

    When WCCO’s Esme Murphy asked him whether he [Al Franken] plans to run for office again, he responded, “Well, see, if I say anything there you will put it in the story. I don’t know. I haven’t ruled it out, and I haven’t ruled it in.”

  4. Old Man With Candy

    THEM TRY MAKE “BIGFOOT” LOOK LIKE JERRY GARCIA IN BEAR SUIT!

    Hah, that’s exactly what I thought when I saw the photo! STEVE, I am worried that I’m starting to think like you.

    1. Slammer

      That Jerry Doll needs some sweatpants and a 5X t-shirt.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Some years ago, Spudalicious and I went to see Phil and Friends in Berkeley. The opening act was Robert Hunter, who over the years has gotten to physically resemble Jerry. He was playing solo. He should not perform in public, just stick to writing. It was so bad that he couldn’t even entertain a stoned crowd. After 45 minutes of sheer torture, Spud stood up on his seat and hollered at the top of his lungs, “SHOW US YOUR TITS!!!!”

        That was easily the most entertaining part of that set. Phil and Friends was terrific, though.

        1. Slammer

          Phil and Friends were at their peak when it was Jimmy Herring and Warren Haynes on guitar. Jimmy was actually the guitarist Jerry should/could have been for the Dead in their last decade or so.

    2. straffinrun

      How dare they put The Six Million Dollar Man in highwaters.

  5. Slammer

    ‘Nat Geo’ Photographer Admits Viral Photo Of Polar Bear ‘Dying From Climate Change’ Is False

    he magazine’s most viral video ever, which featured heart-wrenching images of a starving polar bear, perpetuated the narrative that the animal’s imminent death was caused by climate change. However, the climate change aspect of the story is void of any real evidence.

    “We had lost control of the narrative,” admitted Cristina Mittermeier, the photographer of the polar bear.

    “Photographer Paul Nicklen and I are on a mission to capture images that communicate the urgency of climate change. Documenting its effects on wildlife hasn’t been easy,” she wrote. “With this image, we thought we had found a way to help people imagine what the future of climate change might look like. We were, perhaps, naive. The picture went viral — and people took it literally.”

    Mittermeier admitted that she could not say for sure “that this bear was starving because of climate change.”

    “Perhaps we made a mistake in not telling the full story — that we were looking for a picture that foretold the future and that we didn’t know what had happened to this particular polar bear,” she wrote.

    The photographer says that her image became another example of ‘environmentalist exaggeration,’ but added that her intentions were ‘clear’ and that if she had the opportunity to share ‘a scene like this one’ again, she would,”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Well at least she had good intentions, that’s all that matters.

    2. Suthenboy

      Biggest liars: gun grabbers or warmistas?

      1. AlexinCT

        Both?

      2. Mr Lizard

        Actually the warmistas are correct, my people are the ones manipulating the data towards the cooling trend.

        1. AlexinCT

          Wait, your people are not behind the gun grabbing too?

          1. Mr Lizard

            Fuck no, we love watching you mammals go full arena mode. Also we have an affinity for your primitive taktikool weaponry.

            Meanwhile we have secret terraformers slowly warming your planet more hospitable.

          2. bacon-magic

            *Orders Mr. Lizard a titanium pry bar for scale scratching.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            secret terraformers

            Ha! Giant hot-rock dance party.

      3. Rebel Scum

        Yes.

    3. I recently watched a documentary on predators – the part about the polar bear shows uh, all polar bears start starving when the ice pack – every season – begins to break up. So they have to be good hunters to get fat, to survive the lean part of the season when hunting seal is more difficult.

      1. invisible finger

        I assume they also showed the part where the polar bears swim. That to me is the funniest part of the polar bear picture – as if the polar bear is retarded and therefore adrift.

        1. JaimeRoberto

          Its scientific name is Ursus Maritimus for a reason.

    4. Michael

      “We had lost control of the narrative,” admitted Cristina Mittermeier, the photographer of the polar bear.

      So what you’re saying is that it went off exactly as planned.

      1. *sotto voce* “Geez guys maybe you shouldn’t blame this on global warming…”

        *louder* “I don’t know what happened, we tried and tried but they just ran away with the story!”

        1. commodious spittoon

          Nice.

    5. Rebel Scum

      heart-wrenching images of a starving polar bear

      Polar bears are monsters that will rip you to shreds. Screw ’em.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    WHY STEAL SHARK?!

    To make soup.

    Silly sasquatch.

  7. Pope Jimbo

    I can’t believe those vagina docs have been playing fast and loose with the stats.

    Or maybe it is just that the FDA wants to conduct more “tests” of the results?

    1. “loose with the stats.”

      Still determining whether this qualifies for a Swiss alert.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Twat? I’m sure I don’t know what you are talking about…

  8. Suthenboy

    Huh. Thunder storms all night and possibly all day. Just finished second cup of coffee and stuck inside all day I might as well go ahead and mix up a drink. So much for that wagon.

    1. Brett L

      Strange weather here. It’s been like a hurricane without the wind. Lots of thunder and lightning, plenty of rain. I’m willing to bet it was less than 80 degrees last night at 7pm. I am not convinced we are not in for an ice age. At least we’ll have several years of easy eating when the iguanas freeze to death.

      1. And being frozen, they’ll keep for a while when you get sick of them.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    We were, perhaps, naive.

    Only if “naive” means lying.

    1. SoberPhobic

      “naive”= wouldn’t get caught

  10. straffinrun

    He said the talks had been held without the presence of Afghan government officials at the insistence of the Taliban.

    That doesn’t sound too sustainable.

    1. Suthenboy

      There is no peace to be had there and nothing whatsoever for us to gain. Get the fuck out.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        True, and also true of the other 20-odd countries we’re fighting in.

      2. straffinrun

        No way, Man. I’m gettin’ my money back! *Shoves pile of good money going after bad.

      3. WTF

        “Pull out? Doesn’t sound manly to me. I say leave it in and get the job done!”
        -George Carlin on Vietnam

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Neither does the Afghan government

  11. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday: That code of silence sure is deafening

    “We need to talk about a forbidden subject: the legitimacy of the current president. There’s been a code of silence around President Trump’s shady victory in 2016. It’s one of those tiptoe-around-it things that the American family just doesn’t talk about. And for good reason….

    …as more and more facts about Trump’s incongruous victory emerges, the doubts gnaw harder – and grow harder to ignore…

    …A nation devoted to majority rule has a minority president who squeaked into high office on an electoral college technicality…against most data projections…using voter supression…using Russian disinformation. And most chilling of all with a massive assist from the Russian military, which not only hacked the Democrats, but also hacked voting software, and a voting-system manufacturer.

    …Trump has been desperately trying to get voters to ‘move on’ from the 2016 presidential election and to get special counsel Robert S. Mueller III to ‘move on’ from the Russia investigation.

    …The remedy is to keep speaking up, work for electoral reform to restore free and fair elections, and of course let justice run its course in the form of the investigations into Russian interference and Trumpland complicity.”

    1. >>an electoral college technicality

      how does the electoral college work again?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Tricknology

        1. AlexinCT

          Exactly. Remember when these fuckwads had their panties in a bunch because they had warned Orangeman that when Hillary won he better just accept it and surrender? They were furious because he told them he would not just roll over and show his belly unless he felt it was legit. They demanded, angry and with the threat of violence, that he immediately change his mind and say he would not just accept her majesty’s victory, but serve her. Then they go and lose the election they thought they had rigged in Hillary’s favor, and suddenly they are the resistance?

          The progressive idiot movement’s problem is that they have deluded themselves into thinking they are the smart people – after all they have the right credentials and all that, and they know they can make the world work if they can do the whole marxism shit – only to come up short every fucking time. Instead of doing what logic dictates and having a serious soul searching session, they have decided that they can keep deluding themselves that they are the smart people and have it right if they invent this whole nefarious plot to explain their failures. Then they create a plot that is pure projection of the criminal and downright evil shit they do, and that too fails.

          The answer to team blue realizing that they keep failing and might have it all wrong? Double down on the crazy.

          1. Suthenboy

            I encourage them to keep it up. Blue wave is coming!

          2. Pope Jimbo

            Exactly. If I was Trump, I’d use all the money that we are wasting on stupid PSA’s to instead run clips of Obama scolding Trump for even suggesting that the elections are rigged.

            Fuck, I forgot how condescending he was in that clip.

            Juxtapose that with the current mayhem. I have no idea how they square that circle in their brains.

          3. WTF

            There’s a reason Orwell posited “doublethink” as a feature of a socialist regime.

          4. AlexinCT

            The problem with your reasoning Jimbo is that you think these fucking morons are in any way acquainted with concepts like reason, logic, facts, or reality. These proggie morons react the same way to any of those as vampires of myth are said to react to sunlight, holy symbols or water, and garlic.

          5. Pope Jimbo

            You got me there. I guess I expect there to be a certain amount of dross in the electorate. They will be ultra team members no matter what.

            What irks me is that the hysteria is so dialed up that I think a lot of middle of the roaders are going to think that the Russians really did hack the vote counting machines.

          6. AlexinCT

            That sure as hell is the intent here by these people. Tell a lie enough times and people will believe it. More importantly, it undermines the guy you are pissed managed to win an election you thought your side had already stolen. I suspect that the democrats will soon switch from their tactic of stuffing ballot boxes to rigging the counts. After all, one of the heroes – Joseph Stalin – once pointed out that who voted never mattered, but what really did was who counted the votes.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Well, technically correct is the best kind of correct, so technically elected is the best kind of elected.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Back in the old days, I would laughingly defend the Weekly World News and all its stories with “you can’t print a lie, it is against the law, so Bat Boy and Elvis are alive somewhere”.

      These days, some jackass writes a story like this and it somehow becomes a fact and is quoted by morons in arguments.

      The Russians hacked voting software and a voting-system manufacturer? Really? But by the end of this week, this will be written about by others and will become a “known fact.”

      1. AlexinCT

        The unpardonable crime that the once BFFL Russians to team blue marxists committed was to expose the criminality of team blue and especially Hillary.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          “It isn’t fair that people learned how we fixed the primary for Hillary!”

          Yeah, you know if you weren’t doing so much shady shit the Russians hacking your email wouldn’t be such a catastrophe.

          1. Given the amount of screeching done at the slightest whiff of voter verification, I wonder what this country’s government would look like if we had honest and fair elections.

          2. AlexinCT

            I can guarantee you there would have been a lot fewer democrats winning elections in many places, but pointing that out makes me a racist, anti-semitic, misogynist, gay hating, gender norming, shitlor.

    3. WTF

      using voter supression…using Russian disinformation. And most chilling of all with a massive assist from the Russian military, which not only hacked the Democrats, but also hacked voting software, and a voting-system manufacture

      I eagerly await the actual evidence to back up such assertions.

      1. I don’t know about other states, but the way New York has things set up, the only people who wouldn’t be seen messing with the machine are the poll workers, who are tasked with stuffing the fake votes in the ballot boxes anyway.

    4. Slammer

      and of course let justice run its course in the form of the investigations into Russian interference

      What happens when Mueller says, “I got nothin’”?

      1. He commits suicide by stabbing himself in the back, twice.

      2. WTF

        He will never say that, and will never bring it to a close. The investigation is designed to handicap Trump and the Republicans as well as distract and deflect from FBI/DNC/Obama collusion and criminality in spying on the Trump campaign and trying to rig elections and investigation into Clinton wrongdoing. Therefore there is no upside to them in ever letting it end.

        1. The Elite Elite

          No, there’s an upside. They stop looking completely insane and pathetic in the eyes of normal humans. Does anyone really think continuing the insanity of RUSSIAN COLLUSION throughout all eight years of Trump won’t be massively damaging to the Dems?

          1. WTF

            Except their answer to failure is always to just PROG HARDER! and double down on the crazy.
            They just do not understand why they lose, and therefore fail to change what they are doing.

          2. AlexinCT

            They are less worried about looking insane and seriously really worried that as the facts come out, the American people might finally get incontrovertible proof that the progressive element running our country and infecting every part of the massive inept, unaccountable, and downright corrupt bureaucratic morass that passes for critical government agencies like the FBI, CIA, IRS, EPA, DOJ, and NSA, has become an uncountable criminal machine serving the dnc and its leadership primarily, their own interests secondarily, and the American people only by chance, occasionally.

    5. kbolino

      using voter supression

      This has remained a persistent claim for quite some time but there is never any evidence presented for it, either. Removing the names of ineligible (often, dead) people from the voter rolls is not suppression. It’d be really nice if the media did something that might passingly be called “journalism” and found actual eligible voters in meaningful numbers who have been turned away at the polling place, issued provisional ballots that didn’t get counted, or were otherwise illegally disenfranchised.

      Instead, it just adds to the pile of lies that are accepted as truth by a large swath of people.

      1. How dare you invalidate the voices of the voting dead!

        1. AlexinCT

          Or the non-us citizens, or the people that want to vote more than once, or the people that have lost their right to vote through criminal action, or the car loads of close election turning ballots… Especially that last one.

    6. commodious spittoon

      CODE OF SILENCE?! IT’S ALL ANYONE TALKS ABOUT! JFC WHAT FUCKING WORLD DOES THIS RETARD INHABIT? BECAUSE I’D LIKE TO MOVE THERE AND ENJOY THE CONE OF SILENCE AROUND TRUMP’S UNPRECEDENTED WIN THAT’S ONLY BEEN PRECEDENTED BY 44 PREVIOUS ELECTIONS.

      AM I YELLING?

    7. Rebel Scum

      A nation devoted to majority rule

      Nope.

      has a minority president who squeaked into high office on an electoral college technicality

      It’s literally in the founding charter. It’s not a “technicality”. This is not a serious person. Also, “minority president”? Lol. Leftist actually do hate minorities.

      Trump has been desperately trying to get voters to ‘move on’ from the 2016 presidential election

      So he is using the Clinton Method?

      Jeez. That entire thing is absolute horseshit. It is concerning that there are people that take d.u. seriously.

  12. Pope Jimbo

    Hey Straffin, you asked a while back if anyone had heartburn about you wearing a t-shirt with the Eagle, Globe & Anchor on it. Like ChipWooder, I don’t really give a shit if you wear that t-shirt*, but if you are gonna talk the talk, you better walk the walk.

    *The one thing that drives me nuts is when people who didn’t go to boot camp get a high and tight haircut. Not sure why it bugs me so much. The worst offenders are the punk ass cops who get them. Fuck you pussies! You want to the right to have really stupid hair cut, go enlist.

    1. To be honest, I can’t tell the difference between the various ‘buzzed too short to comb’ haircuts to know which one gets you upset.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        A classic high and tight

        Now, to be honest, I was swinging with the wing, so I always had a Marine Reg haircut and mocked the grunts who always wore the high and tight. But they earned the right to wear it.

        I know this is residual brainwashing, but it still bugs me. I will slightly mock other services when they wear it as wannabees. But cops or other knotheads really bug me.

        1. AlexinCT

          Shit, at least it’s no ponytail…

          1. Tres Cool

            And sailors demand beards !

            Honestly, I expected a man-bun.

        2. Why would anyone want to look like that?

          1. straffinrun

            I think that is the point.

        3. Drake

          I was Infantry for a while. The only time I actually had a high-and-tight was when we were in the field long enough to let the guy who brought electric clippers give me a haircut.

        4. Tejicano

          I was US Marine Infantry – but back in the late-70’s when only a few grunts went full high-and-tight.

          Funny thing. I’ve been back in uniform for a while, but Army Reserves. I definitely have my hair shorter now than I did back then. But these days there are a lot of people who never had to wear any uniform who cut their hair shorter than mine so I guess I don’t think a lot about it.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Did any of the guys wear wigs back then? That one thing I heard from old timers when I was in the guards that wigs weren’t uncommon in the 70’s or even into the 80’s. Long hair tucked up underneath shorter hair wigs.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            When I enlisted in 83, it was still common for some guys to wear their hair as long as they possibly could get away with while tucking it under their hat. It is possibly the inspiration/source of what we called new wave hair styles.

            And we wore an onion on our belt.

          3. I keep reading that as “when I enlisted at 83…”

          4. The Veteran Division

          5. Pope Jimbo

            I was in during the late ’80s and the dark green Marines had it made. They could cut their hair just like Bobby Brown and still be regulation. Us light green Marines just looked like dorks because everyone else was wearing their hair longer.

            My problem is that my hair is so unruly that I keep it cut short now just so it doesn’t look like like a birdsnest in the morning.

          6. Bobarian LMD

            I kept a high n’ tight during my 1st two years in, but then I started losing my hair at 19.

            High n’ tight while balding looks fucking silly.

            I eventually went shaved and have not had a hair-cut in almost 25 years.

          7. I was supposed to have gone bald years ago, since every guy on both sides of my family has a barren scalp with the exception of one uncle on my father’s side.

            So far the only evidence of the genetic predisposition for MPB is a very slight recession just above the temples (I’m the only one who notices it’s that minor)

            Given all the other family resemblances this confused me. But it’s mostly annoying because I spent all that time getting used to the idea that it’s all going to fall out anyway. Now I don’t know what to do with it besides buzz it short so I don’t have to bother too much.

        5. Gustave Lytton

          Nice haircut. I used to wear my hair like that. Early on even bic’d the whitewalls. Wife told me when I got married I didn’t need to cut my hair that short since I was out. Long hair hippy now: 1/4″ on the sides 1/2″ on the top with a little bit longer in the front.

        6. You know who else wore their hair high and tight…

    2. straffinrun

      Somehow don’t think anyone would mistake me for a Marine, active or not. Army sounds more my speed.</a

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      Bite Me

  13. The Late P Brooks

    “The deceptive marketing of unproven treatments may not only cause injuries but may also keep some patients from accessing appropriate, recognized therapies to treat severe medical conditions,” Gottlieb said.

    Just do more squats.

    1. ^This is the solution to most problems. This and/or booze.

  14. How to Plan a Sex Vacation

    There’s a reason why Toronto’s Drake Hotel has sex toys listed on its room service menu. Or why more and more resorts are starting to offer clothing optional cabanas and pools. Vacations are a perfect place to set the mood for sex. According to Expedia’s 2018 Heat Index Survey, more than half of respondents say they’re more intimate with their partner or spouse on vacation than at home. This is doubly true for parents who have the opportunity to steal away for a weekend without the kids. Of course, life being what it is, you can’t just expect everything to unfold in your favor. You have to plan ahead. Here, then, are some things to keep in mind next time you and your partner want to get away from the kids and do more than just sleep.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      I’m a lowlife, but I don’t think that even I would feel comfortable using a rented dildo. A used rubber, sure. But I do have my limits.

      1. straffinrun

        Turn it inside out and win a paternity test. Winning.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Don’t need no more kids. That is why I keep my lucky rubber tacked to the headboard. Super convenient.

    2. Mr Lizard

      STEVE SMITH ALWAYS ON VACATION

      1. WTF

        STEVE SMITH SAY WHEN DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE, YOU NEVER WORK A DAY!!
        AND BY LOVE MEAN…..

    3. AlexinCT

      In my experience all the people in these “clothing optional” areas practically always and without exception, are the people nobody wants to see naked.

      1. At the drunken punk rock parties I used to attend – waay back in the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth – it was always the drunk as hell dudes who were shedding their clothes first. One – Milo – was known for it. If it was a gal, she was usually the skeeviest of the bunch and just a flash of boobs.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        So just like me? Cool.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    The FDA will closely monitor reports of problems associated with “vaginal rejuvenation” procedures, and will keep the public informed, Gottlieb said.

    Does this mean they’re hiring inspectors?
    Asking for a friend.

  16. The Elite Elite

    Young mother, 21, who took a 13-year-old schoolboy’s virginity on her kitchen floor avoids jail – but judge warns her not to invite ‘teenage lads around for parties’

    Anyone here think the line would be “Young father, 21, who took a 13-year-old schoolgirl’s virginity?” Anyone? Or do you think a certain word starting with “r” would be in that headline? Or do any of you think a judge would go easy on said 21 year-old male because “Well, you were immature at the time?”

    1. “It wasn’t rape – I was just giving her vagina a test drive. Pinky swear!”

    2. The Elite Elite

      Hey, here’s a story to compare it with. Pantless doctor busted in bed with underage boy. Just on a quick skim I see, sexual assault, molestation, and underage.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Well, that was a lot less sexy than I imagined. BECAUSE I DON’T ASSUME ALL DOCTORS ARE MEN, CYRIL.

    3. LJW

      Damn the patriarchy…

    4. straffinrun

      Sorry, but boys don’t have a hyman. What the chick did was fucked up, but it’s not the same. We’re not all Ben Shapiro.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        What the chick did was heroic.

        1. straffinrun

          Heroic would be screwing either of our wrinkly old corpses.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            SP IS A HERO!!!!!

          2. Bobarian LMD

            She’s seen things, man…things you people wouldn’t believe.

        2. AlexinCT

          As someone that had such an encounter at age 11 with my baby sitter (she was 16) I want to point out that the psychological damage was daunting. I had to wait another 4 years to finally get me some poon-tang again, and was scarred for life because of that.

          1. straffinrun

            Then when he turns of age and gets hit with child support payments. I seriously could see family courts do that in the future.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            I *think* that’s already happened.

          3. WTF

            It has.

          4. straffinrun

            To a 13 year old statutory rape victim?

          5. WTF

            Not necessarily a 13 year old, but to a statutory rape victim. I can’t be arsed to google the particulars right now but I have read accounts in the past.

          6. straffinrun

            Better teacher junior how to just rub one out, if that’s the case.

          7. WTF

            And here.

            There’s plenty more, too.

          8. straffinrun

            Christ. I can’t even make a joke that is more absurd than what the state actually does. That is some seriously fucked up shit that would cause me to go Unabomber.

          9. WTF

            And yet women claim to be the ones who are oppressed.

          10. AlexinCT

            If a women doesn’t get her way – and she can change her mind in the middle of it – then she is being oppressed.

        3. If I was that kid, I would physically fight my parents to keep them from pressing charges. The move is, you get an actual woman to sweat your barely-teen junk long enough that all your peers know there’s a 19-year-old who is pressed as hell about you, then your father finds out, pulls you aside, and says, “Son, well played, but beware of crazy. It’s important to know when to jump off the bull.” That way, you’ve gotten some platinum-level teen rep, great experience, a story you’ll tell for the rest of your life, AND you don’t wind up living in a trailer park drinking yourself to death.

      2. Rasilio

        I’m sorry but I have a hard time believing that an 18 year old and a 13 year old is all that fucked up. Maybe it is because I grew up in a welfare town and knew half my friends were having sex by the time they were 13 anyway.

        I’m not saying that what she did was right, or ok but it is in no way shape or form the same thing as if she had been a 30 year old with a 13 year old

  17. The new ‘Dr. No’: Rep. Justin Amash, marooned in Congress

    But for part of the libertarian movement, things have rarely been better. Broadly speaking, modern libertarians fit into two schools of thought. One of them, socially liberal and supportive of open markets and borders, was represented by the D.C.-based Cato Institute, Reason magazine and 2016 Libertarian Party presidential nominee Gary Johnson.

    The other, often called “paleolibertarian,” was more nationalistic and often socially conservative; it was represented best by Ron Paul and the Alabama-based Ludwig von Mises Institute, named after the Austrian economist. Trump’s presidency, Amash said, suggested that the Mises school was ascendant.

    “Trump’s victory vindicated Ron Paul because Trump used many of the themes that Ron Paul stressed throughout his career, though unfortunately, Trump did not deploy these in a consistent way,” said Lew Rockwell, the founder of the Mises Institute, a former Paul staffer and a member of his think tank’s board. “Opposition to elite control, calls for a pro-American foreign policy that avoids intervention in quarrels that do not concern us, opposition to P.C. and cultural Marxism, and concern with the Fed’s manipulation of the economy are themes straight out of Ron Paul’s playbook.”

    1. straffinrun

      Calling the Mises Institute “more nationalistic”. FFS. Did they even visit the site?

      1. Slammer

        Cute how they throw “Alabama-based” in there

        1. straffinrun

          Little signal to scare the elites. It’s also ridiculous because they promote the Austrian School of Economics. That’s like accusing the Chicago School for bans on late term abortions.

        2. Rasilio

          You think they would ever reference the SPLC as being “Alabama Based”?

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Yeah, Trump is the Second Coming of Ron Paul.

      smdh

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s the WaPo, I don’t expect it to make any sense.

    3. Endless Mike

      Can we get a TW on a Dave Weigel article? The fact that this guy is paid honest to goodness money for what he writes makes my stomach hurt.

    4. “often socially conservative; it was represented best by Ron Paul”

      The Ron Paul who wants to legalize all drugs? That Ron Paul?

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of haircuts- yesterday I went and got my hairs cut. While I was waiting, I picked up a copy of Car and Driver. There was a story about a guy doing “straw buys” from luxury car dealers for people shipping grey market cars to China. It was quite entertaining. I took a brief stab at finding a link, but failed. You’re on your own.

    Also, some kid who I assume goes to MSU was in there, having the hair on the top of his head sculpted into something approximating the icing on a cupcake. No offense, but GAY doesn’t even begin to conjure the effect.

    1. Whose regs were the gray marcketeers trying to skirt? Ours or China’s?

      1. Mr Lizard

        Probably both

      2. kbolino

        It looks like China had a 25% tariff on imported cars up until a couple months ago when it was reduced to 15 then 6 percent.

    2. STEVE SMITH GIVE FREE ICING TO EVERY CUSTOMER. NO HOMO.

    3. “Did Coco Chanel take a shit on your head?”

    4. Tejicano

      One of the things I notice when I am on an Air Force base – a significant number of guys in the (ch)Air Force really put effort into their hair and its appearance. It really sets them aside from the other services who just cut their hair to regulations and go to work. It reminds me of a Gunny who always referred to the Air Force as a paramilitary organization.

      1. ron73440

        We always called them a large corporation.

        1. Chipwooder

          Sweet chow halls, though. Whenever we had enough time in Okinawa, we’d run over from Futenma to Kadena for lunch.

          1. When we were in the AO for Desert Storm, my Med Supply Sergeant knew the location of every Air Force chow hall in the region, and planned supply runs to be near one at lunchtime.

            Fucking soft-serve ice cream. Real food, not B-packs. Damn Air Force.

          2. ron73440

            Did that on many Sundays

          3. ron73440

            We drove from Hansen on Sundays if we woke up sober enough.

          4. Bobarian LMD

            Air Force enlisted quarters > Army officer quarters.

      2. My standard comment to Air Force pukes was always “Air Force? That’s almost like being in the military.”

        1. AlexinCT

          I used to ask them what golf course they were assigned to serve at.

      3. Rasilio

        Back when I was in the Chair Force in the late 80’s was when the Navy came out with their “It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure” slogan.

        We always used to joke that the Air Force could run the opposite,

        Airforce, it’s just like you just have a 9-5 job but with uniforms

  19. The Late P Brooks

    We need to talk about a forbidden subject: the legitimacy of the current president.

    tl;dr

    WHERE’S MY CAKE? I WANT CAKE.

    1. WTF

      They all do; they all want cake.

  20. Can the Royal Winnipeg Ballet get past its #MeToo moment?
    Allegations against a former teacher and photographer—first reported by Maclean’s—have ballooned into a newly certified class-action against the fabled ballet

    In 2015, before sexual assault complaints against American film producer Harvey Weinstein gave rise to an avalanche of #MeToo revelations, a flood of allegations from underage dancers surfaced against an instructor at Canada’s most prestigious ballet company.

    The dancers allege Bruce Monk, a revered teacher and photographer with the Royal Winnipeg Ballet pressured them to pose half-clothed or nude for photos between 1984 and 2015. Their stories form an eerie pattern; in a statement of claim, the dancers say they were lured to a private location ostensibly for portfolio head shots and repeatedly urged to lower the straps of their leotards, which they were told interfered with the ‘neckline’ of the photos, until their breasts, or in some cases more, were bared. The dancers claim promises to keep the photos private were broken and some of the images were discovered for sale online. Monk, in his statement of defence, denies all the allegations, which have not proven in court. (Neither he nor his lawyer responded to requests for comment.)

    go on…

    1. Slammer

      The suit is because it happened to them?
      Or are they objecting because they never got a piece of the online sales?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Whose regs were the gray marcketeers trying to skirt? Ours or China’s?

    Price arbitrage. An ~$80k Mercedes can be sold for more than double that i China. Why, specifically, I am not sure. China has imposed tariffs to “encourage” production in-country, for one thing.

    1. straffinrun

      Blue stripes belong in Maxipad commercials.

      1. Tres Cool

        ROCA PADS

        “If you’re period’s droppin’ we catchin’ ”

        NSFW….Dave Chappelle

        1. straffinrun

          And one for my homies…

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That would be an immediate disqualifier in my book. The whole “saving you from whatever” shtick doesn’t fly with me.

  22. Rebel Scum

    The tell-all book that will surely bring down Drumpf and co.

    Journalist Bob Woodward is set to release a book detailing the alleged horrors of the inner workings of President Donald Trump’s White House right before November’s midterm elections.

    Woodward, famous for his coverage of the Watergate scandal, has allegedly based the book, entitled “Fear: Trump in the White House,” on the accounts of first hand witnesses and has been working on it for eight months. The description of the book on its pre-order page claims that it recounts the “harrowing life” of staffers inside Trump’s White House as well as Trump’s personal decision-making processes.

    “Bob Woodward reveals in unprecedented detail the harrowing life inside President Donald Trump’s White House and precisely how he makes decisions on major foreign and domestic policies,” Amazon’s description reads. “Woodward draws from hundreds of hours of interviews with firsthand sources, meeting notes, personal diaries, files and documents.”

    It’s all so harrowing.

    1. The Bataan Death March was harrowing.

    2. WTF

      Gee, I wonder if these “sources” are anonymous or minor staffers with no real access.
      Actually, no, I don’t wonder at all.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I have no doubt Trump is a horrible boss to work for. He’s impulsive and considers everything and everyone disposable.

      Still better than the Clinton Crime Syndicate.

      1. I’d bet the severage from Trump enterprises is just a cash payment rather than a ‘random mugging where nothing is stolen’.

        1. Rebel Scum

          Fired > Suicided

          1. Isn’t that what I just said in my oblique, typo-filled idiom?

          2. Rebel Scum

            Simplified for those of us that work. //JK

      2. Tejicano

        I would prefer an incompetent duffus, impotently flailing about to a truly evil person of middling-intellect with the ability to focus on getting their agenda pushed through. I don’t think I am alone.

        1. AlexinCT

          You are correct. Nothing is more dangerous than a moral crusader.

          1. ChipsnSalsa

            doing right ain’t got not end

    4. mr simple

      Isn’t Woodward known for his, er, creative relationship with the truth?

  23. AlexinCT

    All right ladies. Which one of you glibs was this?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      In my defense, it was really hot outside and I needed to cool down.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Clearly not Web Dom or me.

      1. straffinrun

        Me neither. Never been to Walmart.

        1. I have.

          *shudders*

          The horror… the horror…

          1. straffinrun

            I’m not allergic to cheap or weirdos. *Looks around*

          2. AlexinCT

            Well played sir.

    3. Tres Cool

      “Is that some meat in your pants or are just happy to…….nevermind. Hands on your head.”

    4. Pope Jimbo

      To get $100 for the tube steak hidden in my pants, I would have to charge defense contractor style rates by the inch.

    5. Wasn’t that a scene in Pink Flamingos?

    6. According to the headline, that’s just what the cops said.

    7. Count Potato

      “You ever drive a moped in the pouring rain with steaks shoved down your pants?”

  24. Rebel Scum

    A meeting between a senior U.S. diplomat and Taliban representatives in Doha last week to discuss a possible ceasefire ended with “very positive signals” and a decision to hold more meetings, people with knowledge of the talks said on Sunday.

    So what you are saying is that Trumps treason knows no bounds.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    It’s all so harrowing.

    Unprepossessing, at the very least.

  26. Rebel Scum

    The procedures, which use lasers and other energy-based devices to remove or reshape vaginal tissue

    “Energy-based device” was my nickname in college.

    1. AlexinCT

      Reminds me of my time in the military. Feeling more tired than usual I went to the medic, and he sent me to a doctor. After a battery of tests I was told I was in incredible physical shape and definitely not feeling this way because of my sleeping disorder, so the doctor started asking me about other items. When we got to the subject of girlfriends I told him I had me two or three ladies, which led to the number of times a day I was having sex. When I mentioned three or for, he immediately told me that combined with my regular required daily PT I was obviously pushing the limit of endurance. It was a huge relief for me because I had started worrying that it was the other 6-8 times a day I was jerking off that was getting me…

      1. Humblebrag much?

        1. AlexinCT

          Not enough..

  27. Juvenile Bluster

    This is gonna make some heads explode.

    Donald J. Trump
    ‏Verified account @realDonaldTrump

    The globalist Koch Brothers, who have become a total joke in real Republican circles, are against Strong Borders and Powerful Trade. I never sought their support because I don’t need their money or bad ideas. They love my Tax & Regulation Cuts, Judicial picks & more. I made…..

    Donald J. Trump
    ‏Verified account @realDonaldTrump
    3h3 hours ago

    ….them richer. Their network is highly overrated, I have beaten them at every turn. They want to protect their companies outside the U.S. from being taxed, I’m for America First & the American Worker – a puppet for no one. Two nice guys with bad ideas. Make America Great Again!

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      I’m against the Koch Brothers, but Literally Hitler also hates the Kochs…so am I FOR the Koch Brothers now?? I’m so confused!

    2. F. Stupidity Jr.

      They want to protect their companies outside the U.S. from being taxed

      THOSE BASTARDS

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It won’t. Remember, cognitive dissonance is a required skill for true leftists.

      Thanks to them and Citizens United.

      Every bad thing people said would happen about Citizens United has happened and the Koch brothers can take much of the responsibility. If it didn’t turn out quite the way they planned, well, whoops.

      1. kbolino

        Every bad thing people said would happen about Citizens United has happened

        Like… people spending money on political ads? The horror.

        1. Certified Public Asshat

          We’re just enriching all of those right wing marketing departments.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        Every bad thing people said would happen about Citizens United has happened

        Like politicians buying elections? Because I know in 2016 Trump spent so much more than Hillary that…

        um…

        nevermind.

        1. kbolino

          You can buy an election, you just have to do it right. Money spent on ads is (mostly) meaningless. It’s the government money that you funnel to your cronies to build their loyalty that matters.

        2. invisible finger

          She wouldn’t be a Democrat if she didn’t increase spending and get worse results.

  28. Juvenile Bluster

    Also going to make some heads explode:

    Donald J. Trump
    ‏Verified account @realDonaldTrump
    55m55 minutes ago

    I am looking into 3-D Plastic Guns being sold to the public. Already spoke to NRA, doesn’t seem to make much sense!

    1. Tres Cool

      I thought the whole idea of 3D printing was so that they’re NOT sold….

      Wait! This is another Trump mind-trick!

    2. Mr Lizard

      Yes I would hope they would inform the hat and hair that it is already illegal for people to sell the little plastic finger amputators that they print. (Without an FFL)

      1. kbolino

        If the history of the government is any indication, it’s not truly considered banned until everything remotely connected to it is also banned, up to and including any form of technology or currency.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I know a few Machinists, That is All………………..

          1. kbolino

            We will not be truly free until we are protected from the scourge of unregulated milling machines and lathes in private hands!

          2. Enough About Palin

            This is true. I had a tool and die uncle who made a revolver from scratch. It was damn awesome!

    3. Brett L

      Umm. I didn’t know we had gone there. I thought they just made the specs available. Ghost Gunner does metal fabbed gun.

    4. Rebel Scum

      doesn’t seem to make much sense!

      Ya, I am supposed to be able to download and print it, not have to buy it.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I am looking into 3-D Plastic Guns being sold to the public.

    You do that.

  30. On the way to work I saw an older Toyota Corolla with the license plate of “FREEMSN”. There was also a large Free Mason sticker the width of the rear window.

    Weird – I guess the takeover of the world isn’t paying too well.

    1. Sure it is, but why be flashy about it?

    2. Pope Jimbo

      No FREEAOL next to that bumper sticker?

      1. invisible finger

        Even I have to narrow my gaze on that one.

    3. Just what they want you to think …

    4. gbob

      The real money is with working for the Russians. Even ((other people)) don’t pay as well anymore.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

    -H. L. Mencken

    This should be on the wall of every classroom in America, along with the photo of Mussolini hanging by his heels.

    1. straffinrun

      That would contradict what the teacher is saying…Oh….

    2. Tres Cool

      Kinda like this?

      Am I poor reader (possible) or is the lede poorly worded?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        DOG ATTACKS: 8-year-old girl attacked fifth victim in past year

        That little girl really hates dogs.

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        I had no Idea 8 Year Olds were so vicious,
        Sup Tres!

        1. Tres Cool

          Mornin’ Yufus!

      3. ron73440

        That headline made no sense at all.

      4. “Do we need a period in there? Feels like we need a period in there.”

        “Nah.”

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          Periods are for pussies.

  32. What It Takes to Be a Trial Lawyer If You’re Not a Man
    In more than a decade of arguing cases in court, I’ve witnessed the stubborn cultural biases female attorneys must navigate to simply do their jobs.

    As Faiellpoa listened to Doyle press forward with his argument, her outrage mounted. But she had to take care not to let her anger show, fearing it would only confirm what Doyle had insinuated—that she would use emotional displays to gain an advantage in the courtroom.

    The judge denied Doyle’s request, saying, in essence, “I expect both parties to behave themselves.” Afterward, Faiella confronted Doyle in the hallway. “Why would you file such a thing?” she demanded, noting that it was unprofessional, sexist, and humiliating.

    “I don’t understand why you are getting so upset,” she says Doyle replied. (Doyle denied that gender was the motivating factor behind filing the motion; he said he had filed such motions against male attorneys as well.)

    When I asked Faiella for a copy of Doyle’s motion, she said that she could send me examples from more than two dozen cases across her 30-year career. She said that at least 90 percent of her courtroom opponents are male, and that they file a “no-crying motion” as a matter of course. Judges always deny them, but the damage is done: The idea that she will unfairly deploy her feminine wiles to get what she wants has been planted in the judge’s mind.

    Gee – my poor wife – how does she get through such anguish in her legal career?

    1. Tres Cool

      An hour at a time, to the tune of around $300/per, Im guessing.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It seems to me that if an opposing attorney did that, it would be easy to mock and shame them in open court.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      So, what she is saying is … “don’t hire a gal for your lawyer”?

      If my freedom is on the line, I’m certainly not going to take any chance I don’t have to. You just said that females are fucked by the system. So I’m going with the funny short Italian lawyer.

      1. My life on the line? I’d pick the Jewish lawyer.

    4. Nephilium

      When I asked Faiella for a copy of Doyle’s motion, she said that she could send me examples from more than two dozen cases across her 30-year career.

      So… did she send you any copies?

    5. ElspethFlashman

      Usually when you have a case against new opposing counsel, the first thing you do is call a friend to ask : “Mr. New guy /new gal, what’s he/she like in a case, ever had one with him /her?” And then the friend proceeds to give the dirt, even if second hand. So I am sure reputations get bandied about quickly, and that it might be reasonable to ask for a motion like that. Courts that I practice in do not have such motions -that I am aware of anyway.

      That being said, I have seen what I call drama queens, either male or female, who tend to do the same type of argument : “my poor client, pity him/her,” and it gets old mighty fast as it gets used too often. Like Rumpole says, a piece of over-ripe ham.

      1. That’s the first thing I thought. If she’s on the receiving end of these motions so often it must be because word got out that she’s the type of person to, say, angrily confront someone in a hallway over a motion filed in court.

    6. wdalasio

      I know this is going to sound terrible and awful and sexist. But, maybe the reason so many lawyers file “no crying motions” against her is because she actually does use emotional displays to gain an advantage. It’s hardly like she’d be the first lawyer, male or female, to make their cases more from rank emotionalism, rather than substantive argument.

      1. Badolph Hilter

        Could be. Or maybe they just know that it rattles her.

        She should man up and start by filing a “no masturbating to photoshopped pictures of the jurors kids” motion.

    7. gbob

      I wish I could get an injunction that would preclude emotional displays in my relationships.

  33. Juvenile Bluster

    Yay government!

    Prince George’s County filed a legal case against a Laurel couple in their 90s over a wheelchair ramp in their own home. To avoid legal trouble, the elderly couple’s son tore down the ramp, trapping the woman in her own home. The county permitting department said the family had no permit to build a wheelchair ramp in front of their own home.

    Evelyn’s son Bob built the ramp. He’s in the construction trades. He didn’t want his parents to pay the $5,000 they priced a ramp of this size. Bob bought $1,700 of lumber and built it himself.

    “Very well built and I felt very safe on it always,” explained Evelyn.

    Then, a Prince George’s County inspector came.

    “There was an inspector that showed up here twice when I was here and I asked him why couldn’t he just inspect it and tell me if there was anything I needed to do to make any improvements on it so that it would fit permitting requirements but he said that wasn’t the process and I had to go through the long route,” explained son Bob Strahle.

    Bob submitted plans and tried to file for a permit but was denied because he built the ramp before asking county government. Prince George’s County mailed an order to the parents, demanding they show to District Court May 16th. The county sought compliance with building code. The order warned in bold lettering “if you fail to comply with such default order, you may be subject to fines or imprisonment, or both, for contempt of court.”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’d be tempted to bust a cap in someone’s ass.

      1. Drake

        I’d look for a greedy lawyer to sue the county for violating whatever disabilities act they just shat upon. (Then think about shooting everyone involved)

        1. kbolino

          They probably have a government program for building ramps for the disabled. You just have to fill out the right form, wait 2-10 years, and once complete it will only have costed the taxpayer $100,000.

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        We bought an Aluminum Ramp that folds, strong enough for a Power Chair, but light enough to store easily,
        Fuck Off Slavers!

    2. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Woodchipper’s too good for them.

    3. AlexinCT

      It’s about keeping the plebes in there place. You know, set an example for the rabble. If you don’t show proper difference and ask in a contrite manor so we can exact our toll on you financially, you must be brought low.

    4. kbolino

      The PG County government has two core competencies, police shooting anything that moves, and harassing anyone who does anything productive. And everybody scratches their chins and wonders why it’s a shithole.

    5. Rebel Scum

      The county sought compliance with building code.

      If that were true they would have just let them get the permit, inspect it and move on. What they wanted was to make an example.

      1. kbolino

        The job of government is not to enable people to live their lives. It is to punish them for noncompliance. This lesson is best taught early and often.

      2. In neighboring Anne Arundel county, where I live, the typical racket is that if you build something you’d generally need a permit for but it’s not a major structural alteration, as long as your neighbors don’t bitch about it you can file for the permit after the fact and pay a penalty. It’s still bullshit, but it’s not quite as boot-on-neck as PG.

    6. topnotchtoledo

      PG County is the poorest most dangerous county outside of D.C. Its arguably tied for most corrupt as well. Fuck their county govt with a rusty chainsaw.

  34. AlexinCT

    One might wonder if there is some higher power trying to tell people something when you hear a story like this. To me it is socialism in a nutshell.

    1. Peak Socialism.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      “Sabotage!”

    3. commodious spittoon

      Well, that’s what happens when you don’t give the caudillo unlimited power.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Every bad thing people said would happen about Citizens United has happened and the Koch brothers can take much of the responsibility. If it didn’t turn out quite the way they planned, well, whoops.

    If Citizens’ United had gone the other way, Woodward’s book, timed to coincide with (and affect) the election, could probably be squelched.

    They wouldn’t like that very much.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Why do I feel that they would find a Hawaiian judge that would have made an exemption for Woodward’s book?

      1. Is anyone who hasn’t already made up their mind going to buy the book?

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I have a feeling that it will be de rigueur for all progs to have a copy of that book. Only nazis won’t buy it because they can’t stand all the truth in there.

  36. Enough About Palin

    Am I the only person who thinks this makes no sense?

    How legal cannabis actually made things worse for sick people in Oregon

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jul/31/oregon-cannabis-medical-marijuana-problems-sick-people

    They are saying that when recreational weed became legal, the medicinal weed shops closed because capital moved from their businesses to the recreational business because the latter is more lucrative. And so sick people can no longer get weed. Hey sick people. Go buy it at the recreational weed store ffs.

    1. AlexinCT

      DRUGS AR BAD, HMMMKAY?

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      The only thing that changed is no more Getting a Recommendation for 35$ a year, the entire system operates as before on the consumer end,
      Jeez,

  37. The Late P Brooks

    “Did Coco Chanel take a shit on your head?”

    EXCELLENT

    1. I tend to go with “to each his own” because I had some dumb haircuts when I was young.

      1. I’ve got photos of me in high school with the classic late Seventies rock&roll hair. Ugh. Why we all wanted to look like we were with Lynryrd Skynyrd is beyond me.

        1. AlexinCT

          Mullet?

          1. Think David Lee Roth, circa 1979.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I varied from the Shaun Cassidy to Billy Idol.

        3. ron73440

          I was trying to be Bruce Dickinson in his Powerslave days.

          1. ChipsnSalsa

            “THE” Bruce Dickinson?

          2. ron73440

            Iron maiden’s Bruce

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Bob submitted plans and tried to file for a permit but was denied because he built the ramp before asking county government.

    “You ever hear that old saying, ‘It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission’? Well, it ain’t. Not in my county.”

    People doing as they please, solving their own problems? That’s a night in the box. And not in the good way.

    You got to git yore mind right, Boy.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    that’s what happens when you don’t give the caudillo unlimited power.

    *boos, throws popcorn*

    1. commodious spittoon

      Am I wrong!?

      1. Of course you’re wrong.

        What are we talking about again?

        1. commodious spittoon

          Well, I do have testicles and suspiciously pale skin.

  40. Michael

    I finally got to watch Chappaquiddick last night. It gives off a bit of a “made for TV” vibe, but it’s well paced with some solid performances. There was nothing in it that I didn’t already know, but it was still fascinating and infuriating. How the producers managed to get that film made and still have jobs in Hollywood is anybody’s guess.

    1. AlexinCT

      I believe the got it made precisely because they did it outside of the usual Hollywood circles and at the time they sold is as a #metoo thing.

    2. creech

      Didn’t Kennedy – the guy with back problems, etc. – claim he swam from Chap to Edgartown? And didn’t reporters ever interview the folks at the cottage party to determine if Kennedy was drinking? And the strange thing with Mary Jo wanting a ride to the ferry, but leaving her purse and car keys behind? If this happened today to a Senator (let me qualify that, a Republican senator) I don’t think he would go on to become “the Lion of the Senate.”

      1. ron73440

        I thought he put on the brace to elicit sympathy?

        Not that I care, fuck him and all his supporters.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Now they should do a movie on how Teddy directly solicited the Soviets for help to defeat Reagan in the 1984 election.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Am I wrong!?

    That story needed to end Mission Impossible style.

    “When the lights came back on, Maduro had vanished. An exhaustive search is underway, but so far, no trace of him has been found.”

    1. commodious spittoon

      I think we tried that already. Allegedly.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    I have a feeling that it will be de rigueur for all progs to have a copy of that book. Only nazis won’t buy it because they can’t stand all the truth in there.

    That would be like Dracula keeping a copy of the Gutenberg Bible on his coffee table.

  43. Young ladies posing in such a way as to present their sexual organs.

    http://archive.is/yx1N9

    20 works for me, because 2 is always better than one; unless we’re talking about rapes by STEVE SMITH.

  44. It’d be interesting to see how many shows still comply with the Code of Practices for Television Broadcasters.

    My guess is that it’s mostly home renovation shows and kids’ programming.

  45. Rebel Scum

    New Medicare-for-All Caucus Declares Single-Payer Healthcare Not ‘Some Crazy Idea’

    Actually it most definitely is crazy and antithetical to freedom. But what say you?

    Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-Wash.) said more Democrats are uniting around the “common conviction” that Medicare for all is a “human right,” emphasizing that universal single-payer healthcare “isn’t some crazy idea.”

    “Our goal is to sponsor briefings in this caucus on a variety of topics from the basics of Medicare for all to financing to universal systems around the world, because it’s important that Americans understand this isn’t some crazy idea — it’s an idea that has actually been very successful in moving the economics forward in countries around the world,” Jayapal said on Thursday at the official launch of the new “Medicare for All” Caucus, which has 66 members so far.

    Calling Obamacare a step in the right direction, Rep. Debbie Dingell (D-Mich.) said it’s time for the U.S. to adopt a Medicare-for-all system as a “competitive issue” with other countries.

    “We are the only industrialized nation in the world that does not have healthcare for all, period. Our companies are competing with other countries that were smart enough to have done this a very long time ago,” she said. “So we’re all going to keep in this together.”

    Well, if you say so.

    I do hope Team Blue decides to go full bore on raising taxes, censorship, over-regulation, anti-2A, and socialized medicine. They will at least demonstrate honesty on what they want and we will get an honest vote on their platform.

    1. commodious spittoon

      I used Medicare once, in my 20s. I got a physical and had some blood drawn. It only took three months to get the appointment. While I was there I talked about options to deal with my social anxiety. The doctor gave me a prescription for generic Paxil. Thanks, doc.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Medicaid, rather.

        Fuggit, wdatpdim

    2. Eugenics is not just some crazy idea. Nazis and ethnic cleansers were not real eugenicists. Real eugenics has never been tried.

    3. My sister is a rabid prog who also happens to be a pulmonologist. She, of course, has bought the “healthcare is a human right” socialized medicine bill of goods. I’ve tried to explain to her that the only way to make her vision a reality is to enslave her and all other doctors to provide unlimited care for free. Otherwise, it’s impossible to not have lowered quality of care and rationing, which flies in the face of the whole “human right” concept.

      She changes the subject and dismisses it.

      1. WTF

        You can’t have a right that imposes an obligation of labor on another.

        1. Endless Mike

          Right to an attorney?

          1. Badolph Hilter

            Interesting counter, but you don’t really have a “right to an attorney” in the same sense. I can’t just demand an attorney to review my mortgage paperwork.

            It’s more like a restriction on the state: they cannot prosecute you without also providing you an attorney, right?

          2. Endless Mike

            I had that concept swirling about my noggin, but was unable to articulate it as well as you just did. Thanks.

          3. Badolph Hilter

            That’s it everybody, I’m out of here!

            /Costanza

      2. Rebel Scum

        I’ve tried to explain to her that the only way to make her vision a reality is to enslave her and all other doctors to provide unlimited care for free.

        This is what I have tried to do with the gf. I stress that what you are advocating is holding some people at gunpoint to subsidize the existence of others and/or holding doctors and other healthcare professionals and people with knowledge of healthcare at gunpoint to provide service. This means healthcare is not a right, except inasmuch as you seek it and contract it via voluntary exchange.

        When rights conflict, one thing is not a right.

    4. WTF

      “We are the only industrialized nation in the world that does not have healthcare for all, period.

      Bullshit, we do have health care for all. Health insurance is not health care, asshole.

    5. wdalasio

      I do hope Team Blue decides to go full bore on raising taxes, censorship, over-regulation, anti-2A, and socialized medicine.

      The honesty might be pleasant. But, the potential hangover is a bitch.

    6. Certified Public Asshat

      Calling Obamacare a step in the right direction

      Apparently it wasn’t, if we already need to scrap it and switch to another system.

    7. Most of the political ads I hear – via Spotify – are targeted to me for the Michigan primary. And every Dem is running on medical care. And some are real specific about “Healthcare for all via a public option” – fighting those evil insurance companies (the ones that helped to write Obamacare).

      So yeah – all part of their national message.

    8. You know what? I’d trade “Medicare-for-all” with the option to go private in exchange for federal “constitutional carry”, the repeal of the NFA, and tying federal Medicaid and highway funding to state compliance with a strict interpretation of the 2A. IOW, Maryland has a mag-cap limit and has an “assault-weapon” ban; great, no funding for you.

    1. Public Housing? If you mean the Projects, then Tobacco is the least vilified substance routinely smoked there. You’re not going to stamp it out, so why are you asking the question instead of ‘why are we funding public housing?’

      1. Right. Better question: How much tax revenue are you willing to spend to police smoking in public housing?

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Very simple.

      He who pays the piper calls the tune.

    3. Since I believe public housing shouldn’t exist, then no, I don’t think public housing residents should be allowed to smoke.

  46. KibbledKristen

    My future husband, Mike Rowe, on Ben Shapiro.

    Shapiro has got to be sucking helium.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVqtXX6LbM4

    1. Shapiro is pretty good for a TradCon and, yes, his voice is beyond annoying. Like cartoon character level.

      To me, that adds to his credibility. If you sound like that, your ideas must be pretty damn good for people to be offering you your own shows. It’s like the Chinese restaurant that looks like a complete dump but has been around for 20 years. The food must be really good for it to still be open.

      1. KibbledKristen

        I follow him (Shapiro. And Rowe) on the Tweeters. He seems pretty reasonable.

        He and Mike Rowe’s voices could not be more different.

        1. commodious spittoon

          That silly cap he wears? That’s where he hides the uppers.

      2. Even when I agree with him, I can’t stand the sound of his voice and would certainly never pay to listen to it.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Shapiro’s noticeably high voice is exacerbated by Rowe’s low & fantastic voice.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Rowe’s an opera singer.

        1. I thought he left the Opera when he went into television. Did he go back?

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I assume once an opera singer, always an opera singer.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      You know who else has a horrible, horrible voice?

      Any guest on the 5th Column podcast. I never thought I’d pine for the dulcet voice work of Ben Dreyfuss or Kat Timpf, but the latest moron they invited on (Jane Coaston) set the bar for annoying voice so high, I fear that no one will ever approach it.

      It is bad enough I have to sit through Moynihan’s drunken babbling that would make Faulkner press the “Wrap it Up” button, but do they have to bring in guests who are worse?

      1. commodious spittoon

        Timpf crashing TFC recordings, clearly already tipsy. SPICY.

      2. Brett L

        I gave up on T5C a while ago. I miss Kmele, but Moynihan’s light-weight Chris Hitchens act I don’t miss at all.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I’m nearly there.

          The closest I came to quitting them was when Moynihan did a special report where he interviewed Tina Brown and all they talk about are cocktail parties. I’m not fucking exaggerating. I’m sure Moynihan would get all pissy if you accused him of being a journalo who doesn’t dare mock the TDS lest he risk losing access to the cocktail parties.

    4. F. Stupidity Jr.

      That’s why we used to smoke back in the day; if your natural voice didn’t do it, two packs a day made you sound like a man.

    5. kinnath

      Well, I watched the whole thing. Not what I should be doing at work. Oops.

    1. egould310

      I heard about this a while ago on the radio show “Morricone’s Island” broadcast Tuesday @ 7pm EST on WFMU, or get the WFMU app.

      Great radio show featuring music from film, tv, video game soundtracks. Interviews with film composert, musicians, record labels. Check the archives at wfmu.org for the interview with Claudio Simonetti from back in April I believe.

      Anyways, Morricone’s Island is must listen radio.

      1. Michael

        Fuck yeah, I’m definitely gonna check that out. Thanks!

  47. Michael

    Progressives seem to be really into using smokescreens lately.

    https://www.facebook.com/senatorsanders/videos/vb.9124187907/10157195167352908/?type=2&theater

    (Spoiler: the published study in question does no such thing.)

  48. The Late P Brooks

    My sister is a rabid prog who also happens to be a pulmonologist. She, of course, has bought the “healthcare is a human right” socialized medicine bill of goods.

    How does she feel about working for minimum wage? Or does she think the Magic Money Tree will continue to shower fee for service compensation on her?

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      Future doctors will be willing to work for less you see, if we also pay for all of their schooling.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Never mind medical tourism, I wonder what is the number of American-educated doctors moving to national service-model countries to practice medicine vs. the number of foreign-educated doctors moving to our infernal system of merit-based fee-for-service hospitals to practice. Put your money where your mouth is if you’re such moral paragons. God knows we could use fewer martyrs billing Medicaid while disclaiming American healthcare.

    3. invisible finger

      They’ll be happy to work for less if they don’t have to carry malpractice insurance and can never be held liable for incompetence.

      That’s the health care single-payer will bring about.

      1. R C Dean

        They’ll be happy to work for less

        The doctors you know must be very different from the ones I know.

  49. ChipsnSalsa

    Why is that after (anti)harassment training, I have stronger urges to do things totally inappropriate at work?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Because you’re a glibertarian

    2. Eh. I guess it depends on your co-workers.

      I don’t really have much interest in harassing Indian dudes.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        It has nothing to do with the coworkers. Urge to be contrarian, point out absurdity by being absurd.

        1. There are better, more fun ways of being contrarian.

  50. Raston Bot

    latest Rednecks in the Mist piece from Vice…

    https://www.facebook.com/VICE/videos/2266513343381911/

    i love the looks on their correspondents.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The narrator sounds like a high school cheerleader. I may be a sexist because of this, but I hate the vocal fry and uptalk trend in female reporters.

      1. You don’t like women who sound like they smoke 3-packs a day and have lived their lives at the end of a bar?

        1. commodious spittoon

          Why can’t women all sound sexy like Marisa Tomei.

          1. Mmm… I have a co-worker in another department who looks like Marisa Tomei’s kissing cousin.

            Or I should say she used to… past year or two she has gone down a notch in my hotness scale.

          2. Endless Mike

            The “Aunt May” effect…

          3. commodious spittoon

            Poor George, affianced to dumb Susan.

          4. Nephilium

            You learn a scary truth working in a call center. Most of the ones who have the best sounding voices in the world are the least attractive people.

          5. Chipwooder

            I remember finding that out when I was a young fella who thought one of the DJs on my favorite radio station sounded sexy as hell. Then I saw her in person when she was emceeing a chili cookoff. Yikes.

          6. There’s a reason it’s called “a face for radio.” Misfortunate are those who have that and also posess a voice for mime.

      2. It reminds me of the girls from Bob’s Burgers.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Gotta admit, Kristen Schaal does it for me.

          1. I’m a Tina man all the way. Dan Mintz … yummy.

          2. commodious spittoon
    2. Those women all seemed incredibly reasonable to me.

      1. Raston Bot

        protecting innocent lives is a winning argument. always. the hump these news orgs can’t get over is that the decentralized nature of today’s threats require a decentralized response.

    3. Raston Bot

      AGAG has a really cool logo.

      here it is if anyone wants to make a shirt for their daughter:

      https://ibb.co/eU7ove

    4. “Look at how stupid these sub-human Deplorables are! Ridicule them!” has worked so well for you so far my proggy friends. Do please keep it up.

      1. Raston Bot

        their mouth-agape reporting provides much amusement.

  51. There seems to be this mini-moral panic about diet pop every few years.

    https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2018/07/30/Water-a-better-choice-than-diet-low-calorie-drinks-for-general-health/3491532961223/?mp=2

    What evidence is there that these drinks are *directly* worse other than researchers saying “they’re not good”.

    1. commodious spittoon

      It’s tucked away in the same place as the evidence of tobacco-free nicotine products being worse than (I guess?) going cold turkey because they *could* lead to using tobacco.

    2. Nephilium

      Because they have chemicals, and toxins, and artificial sciencey ingredients.

      /IFLS prog

      Although it’s hard to argue that water isn’t usually the better choice, but the margin there is usually really slim.

      1. Brochettaward

        I mean…isn’t this basically true of every beverage?

      2. creech

        But the Miller kid drowned in water, so it’s equally dangerous. Probably right up there with a wiff of second hand smoke,
        visiting a home where a gun is present, not surrendering immediately to the po-po, and sweating while in line to board your flight.

    3. I drink water and diet pop. There’s just something about certain sodas I enjoy.

  52. Chipwooder

    That Weigel piece at WaPo had a line that was good for a guffaw:

    “These were supposed to be the libertarian shock troops, and instead they enabled dim-witted authoritarianism,” said Joey Coon, the vice president of the libertarian-leaning Niskanen Center and a longtime staffer at Cato.

    hahaha

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      As a method of trying to get invited on TV talk shows, Niskanen has declared war on principled libertarians. There’s a special place in hell for them.

    2. “dim-witted authoritarianism”

      but Clinton LOST.

    3. Raston Bot

      on whatever planet Joey Coon is from, “authoritarianism” is cutting taxes, cutting regulations, and pushing responsibilities to the Legislative branch.

    4. Chipwooder

      Actually, I really was only posting this for the “libertarian-leaning” bit, which was hilarious.

  53. Michael

    “Senior Art Critic; New York Magazine”

    https://twitter.com/jerrysaltz/status/1024314447672889345

    1. New York Magazine is so overstaffed that they not only have an Art critic, but a senior art critic?

    2. Chipwooder

      He seems like a very clever, witty guy.

      Weirdly, looking at the responses I see someone with my last name. I’ve never met anyone with my last name who wasn’t a relative.

    3. Chipwooder

      Read the rest of this guy’s twits – he’s a gem.

      1. Brochettaward

        It’s just an endless stream of thoughts about Trump. He tweets about Trump more than Trump thinks about tweeting.

        1. Chipwooder

          It’s really pathological. I really dislike Barack Obama, but I didn’t spend 8 years constantly screeching about him.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Marx was right about one thing: birtherism was tragic, but RUSSIAGATE is farcical.

      2. Michael

        It’s pretty much peak Boomer.

    4. ron73440

      Lower it the feed, from the always honest Michael Mann:

      https://twitter.com/MichaelEMann/status/1023968920053657600

      Those denying the impact of climate change on the unprecedented extreme weather events we are witnessing this summer will continue to deny the resulting sea level rise even as the words escape their mouths in bubbles beneath the rising tide.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Holy purple prose, what an ostentatious ass.

    5. egould310

      That’s hilarious. Trump and Hannity are gay for each other. And fags are gross and should be made fun of. Funny, funny stuff.

      1. Chipwooder

        It’s not gay-bashing because Drumpf.

    6. Got a screencap — it’s been memory-holed.

      1. straffinrun

        Yep. Same here.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Could you put it up somewhere? I was slow to Melissa Click.

      2. Raston Bot

        Jerry Saltz
        ‏Verified account @jerrysaltz
        2m2 minutes ago

        I deeply apologize for sharing an image that many found offensive and homophobic. I have learned from their comments and have deleted the tweet.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Ugh. Hypocrisy is one thing, but abjectness is contemptible.

        2. ron73440

          At least he learned.

          1. commodious spittoon

            You’ll notice he didn’t actually apologize for being a homophobe. “I apologize that you found my homophobic meme offensive.”

          2. ron73440

            Maybe that’s what he learned, that other people were the problem, not him.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Being an art critic for the New Yorker (i.e. a useless sack of shit), you get the benefit of the doubt.

    7. mikey

      Memory holed?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Apparently

      2. Raston Bot
  54. Mojeaux

    Rambling. Again. And worse, I’m on my device, not my laptop.

    “Why aren’t progs more self-aware of their hypocrisy and lack of reasoning?”

    I am of the opinion that

    1) the vast majority of mankind wants to be herded. Boundaries and few choices are easy. Too many choices are hard.

    2) a few people want to be the herders. They will do and say anything to become that. They are focused as to a single-minded purpose and will use humankind’s need to be herded to carry it out.

    3) the vast majority of the bleating progs think they’re smart and so have a desire to control others; they see the herders as being those who can enforce the things they want others to do.

    4) those people don’t know they’re tools for the herders. Even if they were told (as they are, often), they will chalk it up to conspiracy because they feel they are too smart to be taken in by people who preach personal responsibility.

    5) Personal responsibility is “easy” for the herded to do; they believe it is hard for everyone else. Instead of leaving those people to fall on their faces, the herded progs develop a savior complex. They aren’t evil; they think they’re above everyone who doesn’t think like them.

    6) They each want recognition for the morality of their viewpoint, and strive for recognition.

    All this seems obvious to us, but still we shake our heads in disbelief and say, “Why can’t they see what’s really going on? What, are the bleating progs stupid?”

    No. They aren’t stupid, but their insecurity and envy of the elite are driving their trains, and they seek the same power over those they deem inferior, never knowing they’re pawns and will be the first to fall under the sword. It would be a betrayal of everything they believe in, and their leaders would never betray them like that.

    The sticky wicket is that the rest of the world will/has buckled. Americans are rebellious enough to say YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO and STOP TAKING MY MONEY. They are smart enough to know what they need to do to keep people out of their business. I don’t have hope for a grand American renaissance, but I do think Trump’s willingness to say “Fuck you” to everyone will at least keep things at status quo, where status quo is keeping us from Civil War II.

    “Why do progs believe such stupid shit?”

    Because they are insecure, envious children who think Mama Hillary will give them stuff, smile benevolently as they revel in being the cool kids, and crush the unruly, loud, unpopular children for them so they don’t have to look at those disgusting ones anymore. And they are naïve enough to believe when it is only the popular kids, it will be Utopia.

    They are 11-year-old girls.

    That is all.

    (I wish I could do this as well as Agile Cyborg.)

    1. straffinrun

      After doing a couple of months going through every dystopian novel I could get my hands on, I think you’re right about the desire people have to be controlled. A little censorship here, a couple tax dollars more… Never fucking ends.

      1. Mojeaux

        Yet in those novels, the troublemaker is the hero and s/he is seen as the savior. Liberation! Everyone is FREE!

        So my question at the end of these series is always, “And then what?” Well, everybody goes back to doing whatever the ruling faction says to do.

    2. I think it really comes down to the fact that self-determination, personal responsibility and ownership of one’s own actions is just too scary and difficult. It’s much easier to just turn over the reigns of your life to some “expert” and trust that they’ll lead you in the right direction. You’re absolutely correct that it’s a childish view of the world; many people dream about returning to a time in which Mommy and Daddy take care of everything hard and they get to play all day. Progressivism/socialism/communism is that worldview scaled up to a macro level.

      1. Mojeaux

        I think it really comes down to the fact that self-determination, personal responsibility and ownership of one’s own actions is just too scary and difficult.

        And there is no way to make it attractive. No soundbite, no meme, no quip. It’s never going to be attractive to most people.

        I do not blame them for that, nor do I judge, just so long as they don’t try to force me to celebrate them for it or finance them.

        But I would submit that it’s just as hard and scary for those who feel compelled to choose personal responsibility time after time. I still struggle with philosophical questions of, “How do I get out of this jam myself?” I still have the temptation to blame someone else. But even if it is someone else’s fault, I still have to deal with that. So I must put that aside.

        I have to control my own envy of what others have. I used to be arrogant enough to say, “No, I only know how to replicate their success.” But at some point, I couldn’t lie to myself. I’m envious. I need to control that. I need to appreciate what I have. And I will admit that I am struggling with that.

        So I get the whole 11-year-old girl and wanting to be rescued thing. I have to fight it often. It’s hard. It’d be so easy to slip into “yeah, but, just this once…” For instance, Rand taking social security. Well, she DID pay into it (or claimed she did). But the government’s the one signing the check. That is a quandary.

        1. Mojeaux

          “No, I only know how to replicate their success.”

          I only *need* to know how to replicate their success.

        2. commodious spittoon

          The people I should envy–friends with wives and children and rich spiritual lives–I don’t. I envy those with careers making dosh. I figure the one helps me afford the others, if I want it.

          1. Envy and comparisons to other people is just about the most expedient route to misery that I can think of.

          2. Mojeaux

            Yes.

          3. Badolph Hilter

            What, never been married?

            /rimshot

      2. AlexinCT

        I think it really comes down to the fact that self-determination, personal responsibility and ownership of one’s own actions is just too scary and difficult.

        ^^^^THIS^^^^

        Most people would sell their sole for the promise of security. It is dumb.

        1. Mojeaux

          I was in my 20s and my younger cousin said he couldn’t decide between working for someone else or getting rich on his own enterprise where he could have security.

          I said, “You can have security or you can have your own business, but you can’t do both.”

          My dad, who was generally very envious of others who had more (which was damn near everybody), generous beyond a fault (that’s not a compliment), and carried some feelings that government was responsible for other people’s wellbeing (even though he would never tag himself with the label socialist), was taken aback. It was like his eyes had been opened to some universal truth he had never recognized.

    3. egould310

      Good one Mojeaux. I would subscribe to your newsletter.

    4. WTF

      Stolen

  55. The Late P Brooks

    Health Enhancement Teachers ?

    Eric Fisher, health enhancement teacher at Bozeman’s Hawthorne Elementary School and past-president of SHAPE Montana, said the conference was a great opportunity for teachers to network and develop their teaching skills.

    “We just want to empower students to lead an active lifestyle their whole lives and advocate for healthy lifestyles,” Fisher said.

    ———-

    About 11 percent of Montana teens reported on the statewide Youth Risk Behavior Survey that they identify as LBGTQ – lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender, questioning or something other than heterosexual, she said.

    LGBTQ students are at greater risk of getting pregnant, she said. They’re also at greater risk of violence, HIV, sexually transmitted infections — and at three times greater risk of attempting suicide.

    Despite the risks those students face, one HE teacher said her school wouldn’t allow teachers even to discuss LBGT issues.

    Only 11% say they’re LGBTQRWXYZ? Sad. We can get those numbers up, if only those prudes would just let us get the word out.

    “I didn’t spend all those years becoming a Degreed Educator so people could call me a ‘gym teacher’ goddammit.”

    1. ron73440

      lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender, questioning

      I never knew what the”Q” was for.

    2. Chipwooder

      LGBTQ students are at greater risk of getting pregnant, she said.

      Wait, what? Doesn’t that mean they’re doing it wrong?

      1. ron73440

        Not if a girl who think she’s a guy has sex with a guy that thinks he’s a girl.

        I got a brain cramp typing that.

      2. Mojeaux

        That’s the first thing I thought.

      3. Not all gay men don’t have vaginas you shitlord!

        (did I do that right? all this shit is so confusing it’s impossible to keep straight)

      4. Count Potato

        It’s because sexually-active teenage girls are more likely to call themselves bi or lesbian.

        I knew someone who called herself “a lesbian with a man fetish”. I never saw her with any women. But I asked her if she likes both, then why not call yourself bisexual? She said she was just wasn’t comfortable doing that.

        1. Wouldn’t “mentally ill” be a more succinct self-identification?

          1. Count Potato

            High-school and college females identifying as something other than heterosexual has been a thing for a few decades now.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_until_graduation

          2. Badolph Hilter

            Anyone else disappointed that wasn’t a video link?

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      LGBTQ students are at greater risk of getting pregnant, she said.

      If they are getting pregnant, I don’t think they are doing the LGBTQ alphabet soup thing correctly.

    1. ron73440

      Wu Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with
      Wu Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with
      Wu Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with

  56. The Late P Brooks

    And worse, I’m on my device

    Aaaaand, my train of thought derails with a spectacular steam boiler explosion into “euphemism?” land.

    1. Mojeaux

      My brain had a giant release, getting all that out. If that helps.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    I think you’re completely right with the 11 year old girl analogy, Mojeaux.

    I was thinking about this, yesterday: Instead of that dopey “whomp whomp” thing (which I finally had to have explained to me), we should start using “BONK, BONK” in resonse to their childish, willfully ignorant yowling.

    1. commodious spittoon

      You know what 11-year-old girls want? Hint: it’s a four letter word and it starts with C. And they all want it.

      1. Unreconstructed

        CASH?

      2. Chipwooder

        Cake?

      3. WTF

        Carb?

      4. WTF

        Oh wait, I know!

        Cats!

        1. Badolph Hilter

          ^ correct answer

      5. Rhymes with “dock”?

        *lights OMWC signal*

      6. Badolph Hilter

        Coke?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder
  58. The Late P Brooks

    Joey Coon, the vice president of the libertarian-leaning Niskanen Center

    So what he’s saying is Niskanen is a bunch of Wobblies?

    1. ron73440

      No, I think they fell on their face a long time ago.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re not wobblies. That would suggest they had principles. They’re full fledged media suck ups.

      1. They’re cosmotarianism taken to its logical extreme; some kind of extremely vague libertarianish starting point that they instantly abandon to fit in with their cocktail party buds.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    You know what 11-year-old girls want? Hint: it’s a four letter word and it starts with C. And they all want it.

    Does it rhyme with “sock”?

    1. commodious spittoon

      Chip got it in one.

      I wish I could still find that clip… I wonder whether Colbert had a hand in getting it expunged.

      1. kinnath

        I assumed it was the bunt word.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Colbert turned out to be a royal bunt for sure.

    2. creech

      Cash?

  60. The Late P Brooks

    I think it really comes down to the fact that self-determination, personal responsibility and ownership of one’s own actions is just too scary and difficult.

    The backlash against the gig economy is a perfect illustration of this. “I want to be able to set my own hours, do what I want, and only take on work I find interesting… What do you mean, I don’t get paid vacations and medical insurance? No pension, either? That’s not fair!”

  61. Sean

    Bake that cake. Pour that wine.

    https://newyork.cbslocal.com/2018/07/30/long-island-vineyards-ban-bachelorette-parties/

    Freedom of association in NY? Inconceivable.

    1. Well, wine-making seems to be a fairly woke profession and we’re ostensibly talking about straight bachelorettes…

      *checks intersectionality victim hierarchy chart*

      Nope, no problem here.

      1. R C Dean

        we’re ostensibly talking about straight bachelorettes

        I saw no reference to only banning straight bachelorettes.

    2. Brochettaward

      “I think you should be able to choose who comes into your establishment,” wine patron Giro LaRocca said. “You don’t need drunk and disorderly ruining the time for others.”

      Ask him about gay wedding cakes.

  62. The Late P Brooks

    A reply on that Wu Tang Financial link:

    man live it up with these cheap, dumbed-down memes because when you actually take 3 minutes to explain the concepts of Dem Socialism to people they like it and will vote for it.

    Yup.

    “Would you like cake?”

    “Yes.”

    See? Everybody wants cake. Game, set, match!

    1. Raston Bot

      what bullshit. it doesn’t even take 3 seconds to pronounce Venezuela even if you enunciate like an effete douche.

    2. Badolph Hilter

      when you actually take 3 minutes to explain the concepts of Dem Socialism to people who already believe in socialism they like it and will vote for it.

      People who are not already guzzling the blue koolaid, maybe not so much.

  63. Count Potato

    What is going on in this thread?

    https://twitter.com/hashtag/JusticeForGoat

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I think that is riffing on the goat gang rape.

    2. Some kind of anti-Muslim account tying goat rape to Islam but run by people whose first language is not English? That’s the best I can come up with.

    3. AlexinCT

      They are seeking justice man. Some dudes gang raped that pregnant goat – PATRIARCHY – and they lost some real valuable property because of that.

      Speaking of which, does anyone here know why in so many middle eastern countries they don’t do driver’s ed and sex ed on the same day?

      It would kill the camels…

    1. Badolph Hilter

      Certainly seems to be, yes.

    2. Sean

      …arrival?

    3. ron73440

      Dead on with no sugar.

    4. Badolph Hilter

      Prediction: the content will not be complimentary of the progressive point of view.

  64. Brochettaward

    The protesters left the area strewn with plenty of garbage — including recyclable material like plastic containers and liquor bottles that the activists didn’t bother to place in the appropriate bins. They even built a latrine.

    Must have been some right fascists who don’t care about the environment.