STEVE SMITH’S SATURDAY EVENING LINKS.

STEVE SMITH…HAWT!

STEVE SMITH HIT JACKPOT! “SASQUATCH GROUPIES” COME TO WOODS, LOOK FOR SQUATCH…STEVE SMITH OBLIGE. BY OBLIGE, MEAN RAPE. BUT NO CAN RAPE THOSE WANT STEVE SMITH. NOT SURE IF CAN COUNT ON MONTHLY RAPESQUATCH QUOTA REPORT. BUT WAS FUN ANYWAY.

BUT YOU NO HERE TO LISTEN TO STEVE SMITH TALK WORK, YOU HERE FOR LINKS! SO HAVE LINKS!

  • STEVE SMITH KEEP EYE TO SOUTH. HOPE CALIFORNIA GLIBERTARIAN HOOMANS SAFE. STEVE SMITH NO LIKE BAR-B-QUE PEOPLES.
  • WHEN LAST TIME ITALY PEOPLE AND UK PEOPLE ALLIED? STEVE SMITH REMEMBER IT LONG TIME AGO. LOOK LIKE MAYBE AGAIN? WAIT, WAIT….STEVE SMITH TRY “YOU KNOW WHO ELSE” GAME!!!  YOU KNOW WHO ELSE ALLY ITALY WITH BRITAIN?
  • OK, WHICH ONE OF FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE THIS WAS? STEVE SMITH NO EAT SPIDER. BUT HIM DO HAVE BEER.
  • THIS WHY TWITTERS IS CRAZY. STEVE SMITH PREFER HOWL IN WOODS TO SEND THOUGHTS.

STEVE SMITH ALSO HOPE FRIEND ZARDOZ NOT SO SAD OVER HIM NOT HAVING KITTY AROUND ANYMORE.

Comments

383 responses to “STEVE SMITH’S SATURDAY EVENING LINKS.”

  1. trshmnstr

    STEVE SMITH NO EAT SPIDER. BUT HIM DO HAVE BEER.

    Noooooooooope

    Just like the scorpion tequila a guy offered me one time. I like my drinking to be arachnid free whenever possible.

    1. Tres Cool

      I would be more concerned with having that spider in my living room.

    2. Not Adahn

      I worked with a guy who was trying to bring a line of infused rums to market. Scorpion rum is… really quite tasty.

    3. You and me both. Trashy. You and me both.

  2. Mr Lizard

    “Dude eats a huge spider, washes it down with a beer”

    Damnit, that was one of our drones. Now I’ve got paperwork to do. You stupid mammals will do anything if someone holds your beer…and first?

    1. Spudalicious

      “and first?” loser.

      1. Tres Cool

        Heh.

      2. Mr Lizard

        Sigh, a reptile can dream

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          With that Pea Brain, you can Dream? HA!, Keep Dreaming………….
          /Winters Coming, don’t get Cold

          1. Mr Lizard

            “Winters Coming, don’t get Cold”

            Ha ha, lookin at Bay News 9 winter is long way away

    2. Second place is the last loser. And it’s important should first place be found to have pictures in Penthouse.

      1. Spudalicious

        Vanessa Williams and Traci Lords. Good times.

  3. Tres Cool

    Why am I already tired of “shadow-ban”, “dark web”, and “dark money”?

    1. SUP SALLY!

    2. Count Potato

      I don’t know, but Tundra is tired of Lauren Southern. So I’m thinking Minnesota is putting chemicals in the water.

      1. Tundra

        Who the fuck drinks water?

        1. Spudalicious

          You drink beer? You’re drinking water with flavorings and stuff.

          1. Tundra

            Why have the tubers turned on me?!?

            But, yeah, it’s the ‘stuff’ that counts!

          2. Spudalicious

            To quote OMWC, “I don’t drink water, fish fuck in it”.

          3. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Call me a sicko but that makes me wanna drink it.

          4. Sean

            Sicko.

          5. I didn’t dislike caviar.

        2. Sean

          Never drink the stuff.
          Fish fuck in it.

          1. Sean

            Sigh. Nevermind. Spud already addressed this.

      2. Rebel Scum

        Tundra is tired of Lauren Southern

        Canadian accents aren’t really for me. I have to watch her with the sound off.

      3. Water is a chemical….

        1. Rebel Scum

          You with your technicalities…

    3. Old Man With Candy

      /asks SP how to shadow ban Tres, just to be a dick.

      1. Tres Cool

        Is that why I cant see my own reflection in the mirror? Which, by all accounts, is a good thing.

        1. Count Potato

          So how many vampires are on this thing?

          1. Tres Cool

            I eat entirely too much garlic.

          2. Sean

            That’s not a thing. It’s like saying something is too spicy.
            Fake news.
            ?

          3. topnotchtoledo

            George likes his chicken spicy

          4. That’s a spicy meatball.

  4. Tres Cool

    Less than a minute apart….impressive showing

    1. trshmnstr

      The incident is currently under investigation, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

      It is currently unknown if the man has done anything illegal.

      Fuck them with a rusty chainsaw.

      1. Count Potato

        They don’t know if chasing people with an alligator is illegal?

        1. Tundra

          It’s actually pretty funny.

          1. AlexinCT

            Exactly..

    2. Mr Lizard

      No, that was my buddy Jim. He is not down for the whole skin suit thing, but he likes to vacation down there. We have a leave program setup for fleet personnel working the embargo.

      1. Shore leave for space lizards?!

        /Navy CPO

        1. Mr Lizard

          Yes, and unlike you mammals we don’t have arbitrary restrictions on certain individuals based on the whims of the Chief’s mess

  5. Semi-Spartan Dad

    This has not been a fun weekend. Pup #1, the one we gave to my daughter, died in my wife’s arms in the middle of the night last night. Pup 2 is on a knife’s edge and probably won’t make it through tonight. I think the other two are going to be okay.

    I’m almost positive now it was a fox that snuck in the yard and shed this evil, horrible shit before they got vaccinated.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      AGHHHHH! I’m So Sorry, it saddens me, but, Life?

    2. slumbrew

      That’s terrible news. Sorry to hear it.

    3. Spudalicious

      That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

    4. Tundra

      Sorry, man. GSDs seem to be really vulnerable to that shit. Praying that the rest of them make it.

    5. Tres Cool

      Ya got my sympathy and empathy, my friend.

    6. Count Potato

      Sorry 🙁

    7. Old Man With Candy

      Shit. Really feel for you.

    8. Semi-Spartan Dad

      Thanks everyone. Hopefully, she’ll pull through tonight and then have a better prognosis.

      1. Tundra

        It’s weird. When I was a kid, my St. Bernard got ‘bloat’ one night. I found her in the garage completely fucked up and my mom and I loaded her into the station wagon where I held her and my mom drove like hell to the emergency vet. They tried to do surgery but it was a no go. I got the news while I was still wearing clothes with dog barf and blood on them.

        You might think that would dissuade a kid from ever owning a dog again, but it was the opposite for me. Even as a kid, I was glad I could be there for her and that she had us at the end. Your kid is experiencing some valuable things right now.

        Owning dogs is fucking brutal sometimes, but I will always have one.

        1. Semi-Spartan Dad

          Oh man, I’m sorry you had to go through that. Bloat is another sudden onset evil of the doggie world.

          I hear you. That’s along the lines of what I told my wife… at least he passed away warm, with his person, and likely peacefully in his sleep. Ironically, I had already made spay/neuter appointments for this be our final litter without having any idea how it would turn at the very end. It would have been nice to retire on a high note but that’s Life (h/t Yusef).

          We’ll always have dogs too, I can’t imagine not.

          1. Tres Cool

            I have a totes-ghey kitchen towel that reads “A House Without A Dog Is Not A Home”. I think ex-Mrs Tres brought it home 25 years ago. It’s always hung from the handle on my oven-door.

          2. Semi-Spartan Dad

            Totes-ghey indeed, but close to home all same. I might have to find one for the wife.

    9. Negroni Please

      Wait what’s wrong with the pups? If a stupid fox caused this I hope you declare jihad on their vulpine asses.

      1. Semi-Spartan Dad

        They’ve got Parvo. They all got vaccinated the day they turned 6 weeks old, and I take every precaution before then to limit exposure.

        About 10 days before they started getting sick, my wife noticed the mother dog freaking out and running in circles around the chicken coop when she let all the dogs/pups outside that morning. We have a ton of foxes in the woods and I’m thinking a fox came into the backyard, circled the coop, and shed the parvo since they are carriers.

        1. Negroni Please

          goddamn. That sucks man.

      2. Semi-Spartan Dad

        I hope you declare jihad on their vulpine asses

        This was a good one.

        And yes, jihad declared. I usually ignore them while walking through the woods but will now likely take a shot if I have one. They are quick though.

    10. Shit….that is bad stuff. Hang in there, man.

      1. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks. Pup#2 just died, again in my wife’s arms, despite keeping down some liquids.

        The other two are active and inhaling food and water. I’m keeping a close eye on them, but I think they will be okay.

    11. RAHeinlein

      Aren’t these puppies?

      1. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Yea, just about 7 weeks old.

  6. Yusef drives a Kia

    Let NorCal Burn, it’s all Hippies up there………..
    and Shit on the Streets

    1. Tres Cool

      HEY YUFUS !

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Sup Tres! Army Men and Beer!

        1. Hey, I am a (ret) Army Man…and I am having beer! Excellent!

  7. Count Potato

    The whole “abolish ICE” thing is retarded. They want to abolish the agency that enforces the laws, but not change the laws. Which gives the worst possible result — borders that are open in practice but not in principle, letting in even more people whose status is still illegal.

    1. Waterfall Insurance

      That’s exactly what they want, they can’t issue Permission slips to people who have done nothing illegal.

    2. Mustang

      I dunno, I started thinking about it. I don’t agree with WHY they want to abolish it, but it seems like it could be rolled up into CBP to reduce costs (stop laughing!). Their missions seem similar enough.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I like where this guy is going. Do we need a DEA, USM, SS, BATFE, SEC? It seems like we can take all of these federal law enforcement agencies, and combine them into one. This should reduce the administrative staff of pretty much all but one of them.

        1. Mustang

          What I wouldn’t give for Trump to do something like that.

          “Okay, I’ve rolled ICE into CBP and the Legislature has increased CBP’s budget by half of ICE’s budget. Nothing changed except reduced costs. You happy?”

      2. Count Potato

        Yes, but they aren’t advocating for it reduce the number of federal agencies. In fact, I don’t think they are advocating actually abolishing ICE. It’s a purely political gesture. If they are against ICE as a matter of policy, why haven’t they been against ICE since Bush?

        1. Mustang

          Oh I know, that’s why I said I don’t agree with why they want to abolish it.

  8. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE ALLY ITALY WITH BRITAIN?

    Lady Hamilton?

    1. Tundra

      Team Ferarri circa 1955.

      1. Tres Cool

        Vatican City, c. 1942

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Julius Caesar 55BC?

    3. Spudalicious

      Isn’t that like a restaurant that serves Chinese and American food? Egg Foo Yung anyone?

      1. C. Anacreon

        Mmmm.
        Not much in the world I like better than Egg Fu Yung over BBQ pork fried rice. Inauthentic? Who the fuck cares?

        1. Count Potato

          Authenticity is silly in regards to food.

    1. Tres Cool

      “Then why didn’t the FBI confirm the contents of the Steele dossier before requesting a FISA application to surveil Trump campaign staff?”

      Cause the FISA court, run by the DOJ, just didnt give a shit.

    2. Spudalicious

      SPLC is a hate group.

  9. Count Potato

    “Am no fan of Jones — among other things he has a habit of repeatedly slandering my Dad by falsely and absurdly accusing him of killing JFK — but who the hell made Facebook the arbiter of political speech? Free speech includes views you disagree with. #1A”

    https://twitter.com/tedcruz/status/1023207746454384642

    So you are saying you were the Zodiac killer?

    1. Count Potato

      “A mere matter of days after InfoWars founder Alex Jones received yet another YouTube strike — but wasn’t banned — he’s been hit with a 30-day block on Facebook.

      Jones received another strike on YouTube this week for violating community guidelines in four videos, which have since been taken down.

      A Facebook spokesperson confirmed in an email that the social network has enforced a 30-day time out for Jones after he was found to have violated Facebook’s Community Standards.

      “Our Community Standards make it clear that we prohibit content that encourages physical harm [bullying], or attacks someone based on their religious affiliation or gender identity [hate speech],” said a Facebook spokesperson.”

      https://mashable.com/2018/07/27/alex-jones-30-day-ban/#L8o_0aipISqb

      Shouldn’t one be allowed to attack someone based on their religious affiliation? Religious affiliation is largely voluntary. If someone chooses a belief system that I think is ridiculous, then I should be allowed to ridicule that choice. That’s way difference than true threats or inciting violence.

      1. R C Dean

        Gender identity is voluntary, too.

        1. trshmnstr

          #thingsshitlordssay

        2. Count Potato

          Only if you believe a person can identify as what ever gender they say. Which apparently is the law in some places (eg. Lauren Southern is a man in Canada). But just because something is the law, doesn’t mean it makes sense.

    2. Spudalicious

      I will miss the high theatre that is Alex Jones.

      1. Tres Cool

        The exchange between Jones and Neal Boortz is a fun way to kill 10 minutes.

        1. Spudalicious

          I tapped out at three minutes.

        2. Count Potato

          That video quality is awful.

          1. Tres Cool

            Its quite old.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Alex Jones is a controlled opposition CIA plant. Good riddance…now David Icke, that man is preaching the gospel.

      1. Raven Nation

        Shhh, Mr. Lizard is around.

        1. Mr Lizard

          Oh ya, he’s totally been skin-suited for like 20 years. In fact he’s actually been run by 2 reptilian Overlords

  10. Negroni Please

    Just spent 3 goddamn days packing U-Boxes for the CO migration. It fucking sucked. Florida is fucking hot. Our AC broke two days ago so I got to follow up a hot sweaty day with the bad kind of hot sweaty night.

    But it’s fucking done. Boxes are full and locked. I’m many beers deep (Jai Alai for the record. Messican Sharpshooter hurt my feelings earlier. 3.5 my ass). 2 more weeks in an empty house and then I get to put the sunshine state in the rear view mirror.

    Hooray Beer!

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Good Luck in CO, Runaway, as fast as possible!
      Enjoy Seasons (yes they actually exist), enjoy Dry Heat and Bloody noses, A nice Place.

      1. Negroni Please

        Danke! I can’t wait to live in CO. There are elk to shoot and mountains to climb. Outdoor activities in a place where being outdoors won’t make me want to die.

        Plus I get to meet Q in person. You know for taxonomic purposes.

        1. Raven Nation

          Are you going to be able to teach in CO?

          1. Negroni Please

            No clue what I’ll be doing yet. I’m hoping to teach up there, but I may have to go get a real job again. My wife is pretty big on taking the summers to travel so I might just go for a high school gig if nothing in higher ed presents itself.

            I’d love to string together 5 or 6 online teaching gigs where I upload the same lectures and then return to my regularly scheduled nothing. But who knows?

        2. Hyperion

          If I lived in CO, I would get into gem hunting.

          1. Negroni Please

            What about the rest of the holograms?
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jem_(TV_series)

          2. Hyperion

            No, not those gems, these gems:

            CO Topaz

          3. Negroni Please

            That sounds hard dude. I don’t know how to find the non-glittery rocks that can be made into the glittery rocks. Geology is the only subject I’ve ever found to be literally impossible for me to study. I look at the books but my eyes glaze over and I fall asleep.

            And this is from a dude that reads multiple dead languages…

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      So is it any good? If you happen to like heavy citrus IPA, yes.

      Did I say it was bad?

      As I explained to our reptilian overlord…I’m not an IPA fan.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Good luck with the move though. I did SC to CO once. The pressure and humidity change is a bit of a shock.

      2. Negroni Please

        lol. sure sure. Cheers to whatever syrupy malty brew you’re quaffing now.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Its a Swartzbier. Balanced and medieval Top.Men. Compliant.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      I’m jealous, even if Colorado’s state government is somehow shittier than ours. Congrats.

      1. Negroni Please

        Danke. CO now has 2 more worthless votes to fail at stemming the blue tide.

    4. Hooray Beer!

      Isn’t that Red Stripe and not Jai Alai?

      1. Negroni Please

        It’s all beer man. Idk. I’ve never said “hooray” when someone handed me a Red Stripe…

        1. Am I the only person who remembers the vintage commercials?

  11. commodious spittoon

    Aw, come on. Don’t kill house spiders. Kill all the house centipedes you like.

    1. trshmnstr

      We have some big honkin’ brown orb weavers that set up nightly webs around the outside of the house. The big momma is probably half-dollar sized. Nothing compared to the garden orb weavers we had in Dallas, but still pretty big. Between them and the bats, the mosquitoes are kept under control.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I’m just amazed you keep house bats. That’s some quality mosquito control.

        1. trshmnstr

          They have their own addition on the house. (I hung a bat house on the carport)

    2. Sean

      I hit a big ass wolf spider with a shoe once, and he looked at me like “wtf, bro?”

      Then I did it again with *a lot* more effort, cuz then I was a bit scared of the fucker after he didn’t squash so easy.

      1. Tundra

        I’ve had some monsters scramble out of the woodpile. For a harmless spider, those bastards are scary!

      2. commodious spittoon

        COME ON, DON’T KILL WOLF SPIDERS.

          1. Count Potato

            Woah.

          2. Sean

            And this is why we have flamethrowers.

          3. dbleagle

            We have Cane Spiders. They are the size of a decent can and striped. Good to keep around the house since they munch down the roaches.

            They are like seeing a tarantula stroll across your kitchen.

            http://www.instanthawaii.com/cgi-bin/hi?Animals.cane

      3. Akira

        I was in the crawlspace doing some work one time and there were spiders everywhere. One of them was approaching my arm, so I pounded it with my fist. That fucking thing was still alive. I pounded a few more times and then swept all that dirt away; I still don’t know if I actually killed it.

        I pounded another one, and it started doing some kind of freaky death dance that consisted of raising the two front legs straight up in the air and quivering. For some reason, that is one of the freakiest things I have ever seen in my life.

      4. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Same thing happened to me last week in the kitchen. Except the wolf spider charged me after the first hit.

    3. slumbrew

      I thought house centipedes ate the shit out of everything else and you were supposed to leave them be?

      1. commodious spittoon

        I’ve only seen one in my life, so I figure killing every one you see isn’t too bad.

        1. slumbrew

          That’s some sort of Lovecraftian horror. I’m talking about Scutigera coleoptrata, which I have here in NE.

          In Hawaii a couple weeks ago, the AirBnb owner started out by talking about the centipedes they have, including showing us the dedicate centipede killin’ tongs. Freaked me out so much I barely slept that night, expecting centipedes around every corner. We saw one the whole time – dead, in the pool (apparently they do hurt like hell).

          1. Count Potato

            Nuke it from orbit.

          2. Rhywun

            Those guys don’t bother me much. That… thing… Sean linked. Holy fuck.

      2. Count Potato

        House centipedes fill me with immediate revulsion. Back when I lived in place where they appeared every so often. They were immediately terminated with extreme prejudice.

      3. Waterfall Insurance

        I don’t know if that is true but In the house I grew up in we had centipedes and I didn’t see any other insects in the house pretty much ever except flies or gnats from the garbage.

      4. dorvinion

        First month after moving into our first home I saw a rather large centipede racing back and forth across the floor one night.

        I left it alone. They eat bugs. Lots of bugs.
        I left the predatory spiders alone too.

        The only bugs we’d ever have a problem with in that house (despite having a crawl space and a lot of gaps they could crawl through) were ants and ladybugs for a couple weeks each year.

        No roaches or other icky bugs.

        1. Rhywun

          Yeah, I leave those alone too. Plus. my cats love playing with them. The occasional roach, though – yep, extreme prejudice.

  12. Negroni Please

    I had to clean some guns before the move so I figured I’d shoot a bunch and dirty up some more guns before the big clean. I finally shot my M&P Shield 9mm that I bought a few months back and left sitting in the safe. Holy shit. Those little bastards can shoot. Tiny little pocket gun shot as well as my 1911 at 25 yards. I think my LCP is officially retired. Sure the LCP is tiny and light, but anyone past about 7 yards might as well be on mars for all I could do about it. The Shield is pretty sweet. I also shot the wife’s Kahr PM9 again. meh. I like it fine and it is more concealable than the shield, but the trigger pull is 9.3 miles long. Fuck that.

    More random thoughts brought to you by beer.

    1. Mustang

      I love my Shield. Even better with an Apex trigger assembly.

      1. Spudalicious

        And Talon tape grips.

        1. Tundra

          This.

    2. Tundra

      I love my Shield. Everyone mocks me for it, but I can shoot it well, it’s easy to conceal and it will eat any piece of shit of ammo you feed it.

      I hope you love CO. Moving Spawn there in a couple weeks and I’m really fucking jealous.

      1. Negroni Please

        Spawn is going to Mines right? Not bad. At some point when you go visit your crotch dropling you should meet up with me and Q and B.P. and Pagal et.al.

        1. Tundra

          Yup. I will be making more business trips there, for sure.

          Looking forward to meeting y’all.

    3. trshmnstr

      I love my shield. I need to shoot it again soon.

    4. Spudalicious

      I’ve got a Shield in .40 S&W I keep in a Remora holster. Just tuck it into my belt and it’s tight and secure. My only issue is the small size results in me pulling the gun off target about six inches when I squeeze the trigger.

      1. Tundra

        I used the Remora for a long time but switched to a Bravo Concealment DOS and it’s almost perfect. I only use one of the clips and it’s secure and comfortable. Like The Remora, it’s really nice for when you are constantly taking it on and off.

        Highly recommended.

      2. Negroni Please

        it probably helps me that I’ve carried an LCP .380 for many years. Practicing with that tiny little bitch made me refine my shooting more than I otherwise would have. At 9 oz. anything can throw that shot wide. Had to practice practice practice.

        1. Spudalicious

          Yeah, need moar practice. It’s my only handgun that I have that problem with.

      3. Sean

        Remora holsters are surprisingly nice for their price. I have a couple i use, even though I prefer leather holsters for edc.

        1. Spudalicious

          I have several Milt Sparks holsters. Their shop is about 20 minutes from here.

      4. Mustang

        I have a Crossbreed that works fairly well. I can’t keep anything from printing though. If I wear a shirt big enough to keep that from happening I look like a gangbanger in a huge shirt. If I wear a shirt that fits it gets caught on the grip. Looking at clothes made for concealed carry now but since I’m overseas I haven’t had an opportunity to see how effective they are.

        1. Tundra

          Nobody notices anyway.

          1. Mustang

            This is true.

          2. Negroni Please

            Nooooo kidding. I’ve open carried before and had friends not notice I was packing a gun. I give zero fucks about printing now.

          3. trshmnstr

            My wife is the only one who notices that my hips are asymmetrical, and that’s because I asked her one time whether it looked weird, and now she knows what to look for when I carry. As long as it’s not an obviously gun shaped print, I don’t care.

            The main thing I’m afraid of is my shirt catching on a chair arm or something, hiking up, and exposing the butt of the gun.

          4. Tundra

            Don’t worry. I walked around Target with my shirt hiked up over the gun and not one soccer mom noticed.

            Now, of course, it may be because I’m just so damn pretty…

          5. Don Escaped Texas

            Middle-aged guys going untucked makes this easy after hours….New Wife never even notices.

            In my day Texas law was shall conceal…..a total bitch. I almost never open carry, but it’s nice not to worry about being made down there any more.

        2. Akira

          If I wear a shirt big enough to keep that from happening I look like a gangbanger in a huge shirt.

          My standard summer CC apparel is an untucked “camp shirt” – a short-sleeved button-up kinda deal. They’re meant to have a fairly loose fit, so you can keep your gun from printing without looking like a weirdo.

          I think a little bit of printing is inevitable unless you’re carrying a Ruger LCP or something. Another thing to consider is that 99% of people are not going to be scanning your torso for signs of a concealed firearm.

          1. trshmnstr

            Another thing to consider is that 99% of people are not going to be scanning your torso for signs of a concealed firearm.

            Yup. When I tuck my shirt in, it’s obvious to anybody who thinks about it hard enough why there’s a bulge and a random mismatching belt loop. Nobody cares enough to notice, let alone think about it.

  13. Rhywun

    “Italy’s far-right interior minister etc etc argle bargle”

    Someone remind me of this guy’s far-right bona-fides again? It’s gotta be more than “anti-EU” and “anti-hordes of destitute Africans washing up on the beaches”. Or maybe it doesn’t.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If you don’t believe in open borders nowadays you may as well be Hitler.

      1. R C Dean

        Speaking of a guy who crossed some borders illegally his own self.

  14. KSuellington

    Don’t know if this one got linked yet. I feel sorry that it happened to him, but doubt it’s because he was black. More likely his neighbor either hates him or is an asshole. I’m surprised the cops even told him which neighbor it was.

    I’ve had a loaded gun pointed at my head twice, both times it’s been cops. Once in this country and once in Brazil.

    https://m.sfgate.com/entertainment/the-wrap/article/Ving-Rhames-Says-Police-Held-Him-at-Gunpoint-in-13112311.php

  15. KSuellington

    Don’t know if anyone posted this yet. I feel sorry that it happened to him but doubt it was due to him being black. More likely his neighbor is an asshole or hates him. I’m surprised the cops even told him which neighbor it was.

    I’ve had a loaded gun pointed at my head twice in my life, once here and once in Brazil. Both times by cops.

    https://m.sfgate.com/entertainment/the-wrap/article/Ving-Rhames-Says-Police-Held-Him-at-Gunpoint-in-13112311.php

  16. KSuellington

    Has the Ving Rhames thing been posted here yet? I imagine it has more to do with his neighbor hating him or being a total asshole than racism. I’m surprised the cops told him which neighbor reported it.

    I’ve had a gun pointed at my head twice in my life, once here and once in Brazil. Both times by cops.

    1. Sean

      Stop being a criminal?

      1. KSuellington

        One of these days I’ll change my evil ways.

  17. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Nematodes frozen in Siberian permafrost for 42,000 years come back to life when thawed:

    https://www.livescience.com/63187-siberian-permafrost-worms-revive.html

    They need to get on with researching how they managed this so I can get myself frozen in 35 years or so.

    1. Chafed

      I’m right behind you.

  18. Rebel Scum

    A man in Michigan filmed himself eating a huntsman spider he caught in his living room.

    My drunchies lead me to pizza, not arachnids.

  19. Pope Jimbo

    As a hunter, I believe in taking game in a fair, sporting ethical manner. That is why I have to complain to STEVE SMITH about this.

    This is like baiting deer and then sitting in a stand next to the feeder. It just isn’t fair to falsely lure hunters into the woods under false pretenses.

    1. Negroni Please

      I learned to hunt in Texas. baiting deer over a feeder is pretty much the only way to do it unless you’re super rich. 97% of Texas is private land. So most of us hunt on tiny little 10 acre patches of dirt. You can’t shoot over a fence, a road, or a creek. And if you have to track an animal then you have to get permission to cross each property line. Fuck it. Set up the feeder and ambush the giant squirrels at breakfast. Easy peasy and backstrap goes in my freezer.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Treat yourself to a mule deer hunt in Montana.

        As you gaze across the wide open spaces of eastern Montana you will see hundreds of deer. The trick is to figure out how to get close enough to a big deer.

        If you are hunting does, a lot of the ranchers will buy you drinks in the saloon to try to get you to come to their ranch to kill the little fucking bastards that are eating all their hay.

        We once had a rancher kick us off his property because we only shot two deer while sitting on some of his hay bales. When we asked him for permission to hunt his land he told us about the hay bales and told us to kill every deer we saw. Later when we were leaving, he stopped by to see how we had done. We told him we had shot two nice does. He was stunned we had seen only two deer. When we told him we had seen a lot more, but most of them were too small, he got mad and said “I told you to shoot every fucking deer you saw! You know what? You boys need to find somewhere else to hunt from now on.”

        I have a lot of really good memories of mule deer hunting in Montana.

        1. Negroni Please

          I’ve gotten to hunt “for real” in CO before. Elk in the back country with horses and everything. It was awesome. Now that I’m moving to CO I can actually go out in some open spaces and hunt some mountain meadows. I can’t wait.

          1. Spudalicious

            Sadly, you may find that you can spot an orange vest every couple of hundred yards.

          2. Negroni Please

            Yeah. I’ve done two trips. One was little hunting pressure and the other was like an orange vest convention. Now that I’ll be in state I hope to find some areas with a lot fewer hunters in them.

            Doing a NM elk hunt this fall on private land with a couple of glibs lurkers. Libertarians, whiskey, rifles. If we all survive I’ll probably do a write up.

          3. westernsloper

            There are places where it is not that thick in orange. You have to do quite a bit of hiking to get there if you’re not horse bound though. My groups life long spot is on the edge of a wilderness area (now, it wasn’t wilderness when we were kids) and usually the only hunters you see are on guided horseback hunts. Tourists drive the roads and they are thick.

        2. Would you mind if I asked if you were taken hunting by pals or by pros in eastern MT?

          1. Pope Jimbo

            Amateur hunts. I went with my father and his buddies. Since then, I’ve done some hunting in NW NoDak and that was all just amateur stuff too.

  20. Gilmore

    Today in ‘funny moments on twitter’

    Will White Guy Wilkenson Niskanen-splaining a Voxsplainer about White People Which is Really Just Ass Covering For a Twitter Poll Gone Very Wrong

    If none of the above made sense, don’t worry, its not supposed to.

    Its just funny seeing W.W. white-knighting for Vox, as tho these aren’t the two whitest institutions on earth since The Partridge Family went off the air

    1. Count Potato

      I posted it this morning.

      But the important question is, Jan or Marsha?

      1. Gilmore

        I’ll take Jan. Marsha looks like the kind who hovers over you with a knife while you’re sleeping.

        Jan looks like the type who’d be like, “I have daddy fantasies, i hope you don’t get weirded out or anything”

        1. Count Potato

          I always liked Jan too.

      2. Why not both?

        1. Count Potato

          Incest?

          1. Never heard of sister wives?

          2. Spudalicious

            Not if they don’t touch each other.

        2. creech

          That’s supposed to be the answer to “Ginger or Mary Ann?”

          1. slumbrew

            For some reason, that reminded me of this commercial which could not only not get made now, it would certainly get someone fired for even suggesting it.

          2. Tres Cool

            let me see that with Lucy Lawless and Gina Carano, and Ill be in my bunk till Im blind.

          3. slumbrew

            That’d… that’d be really something. I started to write “Lucy Lawless now or Xena-days?” but I’m not sure that’d matter – she’s aging like a champ.

            BTW, am I the only person who loves ‘Haywire’? Just looked at Rotten Tomatoes and that’s one of the odd “critics liked it, audiences hated it (80% / 41%), which is the total opposite for a normal action movie – but this is a Steven Soderbergh action movie, so I dunno.

          4. Negroni Please

            Soderbergh films and Rosé….

            We’re learning a lot about you tonight slumbrew

          5. slumbrew

            I’m secure in my manhood.

          6. slumbrew

            Also “The Limey”. I rest my case.

          7. Count Potato

            I prefer Renee O’Connor.

          8. Count Potato

            Our society has moved backwards.

      3. Gilmore

        I can’t remember any of the names of the ppl in the Partridge Fam… except… wasn’t one of them Davy Jones?

        no: David Cassidy. I can’t remember why, but i think he was famous for being like a real musician-person and not just a TV-character

        Davy Jones was the monkee with the accent?

        1. Susan Dey and Danny Bonaduce.

          1. Count Potato

            Susan Dey? So would.

        2. Count Potato

          Yes, Davy Jones was English.

    2. Up With People was still around after The Partridge Family.

      I’m not certain when the Mike Curb Congregation disbanded.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        After they burned their bridges?

      2. Gilmore

        “Up With People was still around after The Partridge Family.”

        …. were they connected? I recall the former was some … religious thing? right-wing hippies? they sang songs and did mickey-mouse-club theatrics @ halftime shows? I remember someone referencing them but not the context why. Their wikipedia page is shorter now than the last time i checked.

        i agree, they were possibly whiter than the Partridge Family. Possibly in a category of Ultra-White, which blinds people with its sheer whiteness.

  21. SoberPhobic

    Words of warning(?) My first attempt at drinking gose. Two from Westbrook brewing. The first was a lemon and cucumber, slightly tart lemon flavor, very acidic, not sure where or why the cuke. The second was key lime pie, a lot of lime flavor but no sour, also very acidic and it dried my mouth like a spoonful of cinnamon. Neither very pleasant.

    1. Negroni Please

      Now go drink a Flanders Red and then go back to the Gose. All of the sudden the Gose won’t seem so sour.

      1. SoberPhobic

        That’s just it. I didn’t think either were very sour, just very acidic.

        1. kinnath

          Acid makes sour beer sour.

          1. Tres Cool

            It also depends on the anion that’s in your beverage, too. If you have vinegar (acetic acid), you’ll need more of that and less of a stronger acid with a solid salt, like HCl for an equivalent taste due to the difference in acetate v. chloride on your tongue.

          2. Negroni Please

            “It also depends on the anion that’s in your beverage, too”

            He’s drinking Goses not Gibsons dude….

          3. Tres Cool

            I’m drinking Keystone Light in double-deuces. Im not an expert….

          4. Negroni Please

            I respect the bigboy cans, but Keystone? Not even the silver bullet? Do better Tres. Do better.

          5. SoberPhobic

            Ahhh. Then in the interest of saving my remaining stomach lining I shall desist from imbibing.

          6. AlmightyJB

            Acid is why I can’t drink wine.

          7. slumbrew

            Sorry to hear that – wine is one of the great joys of life.

            /me pours some more rosé

          8. Count Potato

            Acid is why I can bend spacetime with my mind.

          9. Yusef drives a Kia

            Cobra, that is all….

    2. AlmightyJB

      I’m not a gose fan. I don’t like tart or sour flavors. I have the same issue with ciders.

    3. trshmnstr

      I can stomach one gose at most in a sitting. I like citrus, but it’s too much. Its what I imagine drinking lemon pledge would be like.

      1. Negroni Please

        Lemon flavored sparkling water, from any brand, tastes like lemon pledge. Gose is tasty pool beer. Though like any trendy beer style, there are a lot of breweries out there churning out garbage goses these days.

  22. Count Potato

    “Putting together a “resource page” connected to a specific individual that consists of every instance you can find of people disagreeing with them on basically any subject is a totally normal thing well-adjusted professional journalists do”

    https://twitter.com/jessesingal/status/1023220508710588417

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Noah Berlatsky

      *vomits*

    2. mr simple

      That looks toxic. I don’t even want to know what this is about, do I?

  23. AlmightyJB

    “the newspaper cited an unnamed government minister as saying that Britain’s army would be ready to deliver food and medicine if there were delays at ports after Brexit.”

    Totally not a scare tactic.

  24. Count Potato
  25. commodious spittoon

    Letterkenny is on Hulu. Michelle Mylett is HOT HOT HOT.

    1. Negroni Please

      I didn’t realize you were Canadian. Condolences.

    2. Tres Cool

      Letterkenny Seasons 1-4 are on Hulu. They’ve been on Piratebay for a year.
      I’m waiting on Season 5….

      1. commodious spittoon

        You can’t expect a season 5 if you’re getting it on PB…

        1. Tres Cool

          Who said I do PB? It would be far easier to use a Canadian VPN and just stream them from CraveTV for free anyhow.
          Torrents are too much headache any more.

          1. commodious spittoon

            I got my old room mates’ internet suspended after downloading (of fucking anything) Legend of Neil… a Zelda parody from fucking ten years ago. Apparently Fox is SUPER SERIAL about keeping that IP alive.

            So, yeah. No more torrenting for me either.

          2. Tres Cool

            Roger’s is real dicks about things too.
            Or so I’ve heard.

          3. Rhywun

            No more torrenting for me either.

            Fun fact: I dropped that habit the day I got the email from The Jacket informing me that I had attracted the attention of the gentleman DA from the Southern District of New York. I hadn’t any idea what was actually going on until several days later. I also deleted a LOT of emails.

          4. commodious spittoon

            Wow. Yeah, that’s a paddling.

            NOT AN ACTUAL PADDLING PREET JUST A REFERENCE TO A POPULAR TV SHOW FROM A COUPLE DECADES AGO.

        2. Tres Cool

          Kaniehtiio Horn is hotter anyhow.

          1. commodious spittoon

            She gives me the horn IYKWIMAITYD.

  26. westernsloper

    YOU KNOW WHO ELSE ALLY ITALY WITH BRITAIN?

    Everyone who does a full English breakfast with Italian sausage as god intended.

    1. Negroni Please

      sooooo no one? I’ve never heard of this and I’ve been to England many times and Italy once.

      English breakfast is overrated. Who wants shitty beans and mushy tomato for breakfast?

      1. slumbrew

        This. It’s hard to do better than a good omelette for breakfast.

        1. Tundra

          I like the Scottish breakfast. Haggis rocks!

          1. Negroni Please

            I could be down for some Scottish breakfast. Haggis is delicious and blood pudding CAN be delicious depending on the cook. Kippers are generally not good though.

          2. RegicidalManiac

            Kippers are goddamn delicious, provided you’re on the coast of Scotland eating kippers smoked within 10 miles of you.

            Otherwise you’re really rolling the dice.

          3. KSuellington

            There is no better breakfast sausage on this earth than Irish. Add some black pudding, white pudding, beans, fried tomato eggs and spuds and you have reached breakfast heaven.

          4. Count Potato

            Haggis? really?

          5. Tundra

            Really.

            I was shocked how much I liked it.

          6. Count Potato

            OK, but it sounds offal.

          7. trshmnstr

            I can’t stomach any more haggis puns.

      2. Tres Cool

        And kippers?
        Who does fish for breakfast? Well, other than Ace Rimmer .

      3. westernsloper

        Come on now, Italian sausage is better than whatever the brits try to pass off as sausage, so a full english with Italian sausage would be the way to go imho.

        1. Count Potato

          I used to eat breakfast at a diner that served breakfast with Italian sausage. It was very good. And the waitress was a total smokeshow.

        2. Spudalicious

          Joe’s Scramble with Italian sausage, perfectly cooked hash browns, and a biscuit like a cloud with Marion berry jam.

      4. Gilmore

        “English breakfast is overrated.”

        Agreed.

        I have a funny story about explaining the concept of “bacon egg and cheese” to a cook @ a london fry-up place.

        he had been selling shitty breakfasts on a plate to people for the previous 20 years, but the idea of making a to-go breakfast sandwich was incomprehensible to him. “Why would you want that”? I’m like just fucking do it and i’ll pay you 50p more than the fucking plate. so he does, and i’m eating my bacon-egg-cheese @ my desk, and everyone in the office is, “Where did you get that” “What’s that” “that smells good” and “where can i get that” and “He just made it for YOU? you mean you just asked him and he did it?” They were bewildered, even tho there was a place called “Pret a Manger” right across the street. The idea of asking a food-place to make something ‘not actually on the menu” was utterly incomprehensible to them.

        the next week i’m in there and the cook is like, “YOU WOULDN”T BELIEVE IT IVE GOT 50 PEOPLE COMING IN EVERY DAY ASKING FOR THAT BLOODY SANDWICH” He called it ‘The New Yorker’.

        i just thought it was hilarious that no one in this guy’s entire life had ever considered asking for such an obvious thing.

        1. Negroni Please

          I’ve had an English “breakfast sandwich” before and it was grey bacon and slimy eggs with a tomato and watercress on toast. No bueno.

          You should have brought the dude some tortillas and and gone into business with him. Y’all would be millionaires by now.

          Also I vaguely recall eating at Pret a Manger a time or two. They had silly shit like parsnip chips and elderflower soda….I liked it….

          1. Rhywun

            I love Pret a Manger – used to grab lunch from there all the time before my office moved to a food desert in NJ.

        2. Count Potato

          Wow.

        3. westernsloper

          That is great. But then again you are dealing with people that think cumbers and butter on white bread is a sandwich so what do you expect. I have never had the full english with italian sausage, I just made that shit up now reading the links, but I think It would be superior to the traditional full english. Brits can’t make sausage.

          1. Count Potato

            I worked with a British guy who loved bangers though. I never ate one, or ever had a full English, myself.

          2. slumbrew

            I know bangers from the Irish pub world – bangers and mash is delicious. Not sure if English bangers differ.

          3. westernsloper

            I am not the most world traveled and never had the leisure time to experience everything I would have liked, but it has been my experience that the best sausages are made in N America. It might be we over spice everything and it is what I know, but even German sausages where meh to me in the few times I ate them. I equate it to why Americanized/Tex Mex is far superior to authentic Mexican food. Authentic Mexican food is bland af and so are bangers.

          4. Negroni Please

            Fuck yeah. American flavor bombs beat all else. I love making vietnamese, thai, and korean food. My versions are all dialed up to 11.

            I don’t need “authentic.” I need delicious. So I start with traditional recipes and then add a shitload more of everything flavorful.

          5. Rhywun

            I love German sausages* but you have a point about authentic Mexican food – though I do like it too.

            *both the “authentic recipes” I buy from a joint in Illinois and the ones I remember from living there long ago seem the same to me

          6. Enough with the euphemisms!

          7. Gustave Lytton

            I like bangers. Best is a sausage sandwich.

            Slice into planks, fry until browned. Toast a good white bread with the crust cut off. Spread a light layer of Colemans or a stoneground mustard on one slice (optional). Put lettuce on top. Put sausage planks on top of that. Spread a thick layer of butter on the other slice and put it together. Eat it as the butter melts all over the sausage.

          8. Akira

            My usual sausage/bread combination is a grilled Italian sausage wrapped up in a pita with peppers, onions, and some shreds of mozzarella or provolone.

          9. Gustave Lytton

            And fried bread is delicious.

        4. slumbrew

          Amen.

          The fact the rat-standard NY deli egg sandwich isn’t available nationwide, never mind worldwide, is mind-boggling. I think that may be the #1 adjustment to New Yorkers coming up to the Boston area for school – you can’t just get a bacon, egg and cheese at some place around the way.

          Roll, fried eggs, bacon (or, the superior choice, ham), slice of cheese (American will do, cheddar is superior). It’s not hard.

          (Place near work will do ham, egg and cheddar on their fresh-baked ciabatta rolls – off menu, but I don’t know why, as it’s fantastic).

          1. Rhywun

            Maybe it’s just me but nobody knows how to cook fucking bacon any more – and that includes NY. These days I’ll order a sausage-egg-and-cheese before bacon because rubbery bacon is disgusting.

          2. trshmnstr

            Same with hash browns (and all potatoes). It’s not supposed to be soggy.

          3. slumbrew

            I know I’m in the minority preferring chewy bacon.

            That said, my “ham over bacon” preference for sandwiches is because bacon is too assertive of a flavor (as is most sausage you’ll get in a deli, IMO). You can’t taste the eggs, just the bacon. Ham is more subtle, while still providing that porky goodness.

          4. trshmnstr

            My wife literally tells people to burn her bacon. She wants it super crispy and almost about to char, and the only way a restaurant will get it right is to tell them to burn it. I thought I was picky about my bacon being crispy until I met her.

          5. Rhywun

            There is a perfect bacon cook that’s between what I’m calling “rubbery” and what I would consider “crispy”. The fat is juuuuust getting crispy and yeah maybe still “chewy”. I am able to achieve this at home but I’ve found that almost no restaurant bothers.

          6. slumbrew

            Lardons were my wife’s gateway-drug to bacon – she hit her 30’s thinking she didn’t like bacon but it was really she just didn’t like crispy bacon. We both like some chew to it.

          7. dorvinion

            I prefer mine to be slightly less done myself.

            There’s a very fine line between crispy bacon and burnt bacon.
            Cross the line even a little and it ruins it.

          8. Gilmore

            The fact the rat-standard NY deli egg sandwich isn’t available nationwide, never mind worldwide, is mind-boggling.

            indeed. and i remain mildly proud for having introduced a small corner of north london to the concept.

            it really didn’t even dawn on me for a couple more years how utterly foreign the idea of “Deli food” really was to the English. Brits would occasionally come to the NY office for a few months just as i had shipped over there for a couple of years, and when they were in NY they’d be like, “where do people get lunch”? and i’d name the closest few delis, pizza places, etc. One day this guy comes back and he’s like, “do you know any places that have proper sandwiches”? And i am like wtf are you talking about, there’s a deli right across the street. and he’s like, “I mean like wrapped, you know like a Tescos” I’m like ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH, you can get whatever you want made fresh by that dude behind the counter, and he looks all awkward and is like, “But they don’t have a menu!” I’m still looking at him like he’s nuts. “how hard is it to say, “chicken salad on a roll” (or whatever it is you want)” He’s just shuffling and like, “why do i have to talk to people just to get a sandwich. i don’t know what i want, i need a menu.”

            I thought he was unique, but others were like, “mate, he’s never been out of the UK” They thought his POV was perfectly normal. As NY’r i couldn’t possibly comprehend that anyone would not only accept a dry airport sandwich wrapped in plastic, that they’d actually prefer it.

          9. slumbrew

            “I mean like wrapped, you know like a Tescos”

            JFC. Also, every deli I’ve been in has a variety of “special” sandwiches posted, in addition to “whatever you want”.

          10. Gilmore

            “”, every deli I’ve been in has a variety of “special” sandwiches posted, “”

            this particular guy i think interpreted that to mean that was all they offered that day. to be fair, he was extremely uptight and particular even by brit-standards. he had many complaints about the US (or NYC, really) that were common w/ the english, but in greater degree/frequency.

            (for whatever reason, Mancs and Scots eased quickly into NYC life and seemed to instantly get the vibe; whereas Oxbridge, snooty-southerners were far more prone to whinge about Americanisms)

            i shared an office w/ the dude for about a year. one of his hangups was the fact that public toilet stalls in the US were open at the bottom (in the UK/france, doors to bathroom stalls tend to go all the way to the floor). I’m like, “uhh….. and why is that a problem? doesn’t it help you know whether a stall is Occupato?”… and he’s turning red, going, “EVERYONE CAN SEE YOUR PANTS”. by which he meant undies. I then would be like, “ah. I understand. so you wear ladies underpants.” Conversations with ‘crazy uptight english guy who complains about slight differences in America’ always helped make the day more interesting.

  27. commodious spittoon
        1. Grumbletarian
          1. slumbrew

            She thicc

          2. Spudalicious

            Would.

  28. Akira

    OT: Do you think there’s a difference between how men and women fall asleep?

    Most women are baffled that I can take 13 minute naps, and they usually say something along the lines of “I can’t even fall asleep in such a short time”.

    1. trshmnstr

      My wife comments on how I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. She takes much longer to fall asleep. I don’t know how much of that is gender versus her just being an insomniac.

      1. Mr Lizard

        Same for me player

    2. Negroni Please

      My wife and I are the opposite. She can fall asleep in ten seconds flat. She can’t read 3 pages without going into a narcoleptic trance. I’m a lifelong insomniac. I need 90 minutes of heads up before sleep and I are in the same zip-code.

      1. Rhywun

        I’m somewhere in the middle. Always been a poor sleeper. At least I don’t get the night terrors all the time like I used to – knock on wood.

        1. straffinrun

          Those buggers suck. Had a few in the past. Also had this weird thing where I was awake but couldn’t move my body. None of my friends had heard of it before. I told a Japanese friend about it and he quickly says, “Ah, Kanashibari.” Evidently it’s more common here.

          1. Negroni Please

            Fucking sleep paralysis. Had it twice. Both times were creepy as fuck.

          2. trshmnstr

            There’s some other name for it, but I’ve heard it called sleep paralysis. Its the most common scientific explanation for alien abduction experiences.

          3. straffinrun

            It was one of the only times I’ve actually believed for a split second that ghosts/spirits or whatever existed. I can see why they’d explain it as alien abduction.

          4. Negroni Please

            The first time I had sleep paralysis I was pretty sure some kind of demon was hovering just out of sight watching me. It was completely fucked up and terrifying. And not the least because I had watched the shitty Keanu Reeves movie Constantine that night.

            A horror movie got to me apparently and it was not some dark lovecraftian masterpiece, but a schlocky comic book ripoff.

          5. straffinrun

            That feeling of something being in the room. Absolutely. Seems strange because you could think you were having a stroke or something, but no, everyone who gets it says the same thing. There was a ________ in the room.

          6. Negroni Please

            yeah. that’s both my sleep paralysis experiences in a nutshell. Something evil is in my room and I can’t move so I can’t deal with it. It’s demons for me, but I’ve studied a lot of demonology and witchcraft en route to my worthless degrees. I imagine the __________ in the room varies based on cultural programming and particular interests.

          7. Rhywun

            Hypngogic-something. I considered going to some sleep institute once I learned online WTF was wrong with me, but I passed.

          8. Rhywun

            PS IIRC it has something to do with your brain sending the chemicals that relax your muscles as normal for sleep but not shutting off so you can actually fall asleep. Everything else is your brain trying to make sense of WTF is happening.

          9. slumbrew

            I get the hypnic jerk now and then – that feeling when you’re falling just as you’re falling asleep. PITA, as it screws up what should be a pleasant start of sleep, but I think it’s kinda cool this really ancient instinct is still there (“you’re about to fall out of the tree, monkey – get a better position”)

          10. straffinrun

            Stress can screw everything, eh.

          11. trshmnstr

            that feeling when you’re falling just as you’re falling asleep
            I’ve never had it at the start, only at the end, usually 5 minutes before my alarm goes off.

          12. Gustave Lytton

            I’ve had the falling from time to time. Used to be a bit more often when I was younger.

          13. commodious spittoon

            You have a succubus. She’s thieving your semen to create awful homunculi to terrorize your children.

          14. Rhywun

            Yup, that’s what I’m talking about. Used to get it about once a month during my 20s and 30s. Basically you’re frozen in bed unable to fall asleep and feel like a huge weight is crushing you. Learned that it hits worst if you try to sleep on your back so I stopped that toot-sweet and it’s mostly gone away.

            I’ve also heard about the “alien” thing but I never got that.

          15. commodious spittoon

            I don’t know if it was sleep paralysis, but several weeks ago I had a nightmare where I’d been abducted by some stereotypical mobster. He had me his arms around me and was dragging me about and calling for me partner. I was struggling but couldn’t move. I woke up and realized I had my arms pinned to my side and was face down, wrestling with the mattress.

          16. straffinrun

            Sounds more like a you had a nightmare.

          17. commodious spittoon

            Yep. But at least my semen is safe.

          18. trshmnstr

            STEVE SMITHS SOVIET COUSIN SVETLANA SMIKOVA DISAGREE, AND BY DISAGREE MEAN STEAL SEMEN FROM UNSUSPECTING MEN AT NIGHT.

          19. commodious spittoon
          20. mr simple

            I had a similar experience, being pinned and dreaming I was being grappled from behind. I ended up head butting my wife as she tried to cuddle up to me. She gets me all the time, though, with kicks and hits, heel raking my shins, and once, while I was in the grips of sleep paralysis and sleeping on my stomach, she threw an arm back across the back of my head, pushing my face into the pillow. I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t get my body to respond. I seriously thought I was going to die. Obviously I was able to eventually get out of that when my body started responding.

          21. mr simple

            This is all while we’re both sleeping, if that wasn’t clear. Just restless sleeping, not domestic violence.

        2. westernsloper

          Everyone commenting on this obviously does not drink enough. I have never experienced anything like that.

          1. Negroni Please

            I drink plenty. Maybe that’s why it’s only happened to me twice? If alcohol comas can fight the demons then I guess I should endeavor to drink even more.

          2. Rhywun

            Trust me, drinking or not ain’t got anything to do with it.

      2. Tundra

        Same. It takes her months to read a book I read over a weekend.

    3. straffinrun

      Start of a line of sleeping pills called “Cosbies”. *Side effects include…

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Standup comedy?

  29. Don Escaped Texas

    Wake up at 5

    Fuck around pretend to work or golf

    Unload DVR with New Wife

    Fall asleep on couch at 9

    Get poked at 10 and zombie off to our bunk

    Repeat

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      Shit

      Posting in the right place via phone whilst in the tub ain’t easy

      1. westernsloper

        The first tub Gilmore. You should be proud.

      2. slumbrew

        So… you’re naked?

        “Next up, on Glibs After Dark…”

    2. AlmightyJB

      Woke up late. Dicked around all morning, mostly here which was fine. It’s been a rough week so I needed a little veg time. Did eventually get motivated enough to do some laundry and put together my offset smoker/gas grill combo so I at least accomplished something today. I then ordered a bunch of accessories for grill on Amazon. Coal, wood, brush, gloves, etc. Time for shower and sleep.

    1. westernsloper

      Ratmagedon. That dog is fast.

    2. Negroni Please

      I want a pet mink now.

    3. straffinrun

      The little guys are cute. I missed the last train home from Shibuya one night when I was out drinking years ago, so I had to chill out until the morning at the all night coffee shop overlooking Shibuya scramble. About 3 am a couple white vans pull into the quad and a bunch of young guys wearing blue overalls jumped out. Each of them had a large stick and a big canvas bag. I’m wondering what the hell? They spread out and start pounding on piles of garbage and bushes until a rat would come fleeing out. Then they’d whack the rat on the head and stuff it the bag. They must’ve caught over a hundred rats in all. Very entertaining.

      1. commodious spittoon

        How do you drive through that madness?

          1. commodious spittoon

            Have they heard of cuts other than the bowl?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Basically it’s a pedestrian only phase of the traffic lights, with all walk lights on. The don’t walk lights are on for all directions during the vehicle traffic phases.

          1. Rhywun

            In China they just build pedestrian bridges over that shit. Would seem helpful there.

          2. Rhywun

            Or in Germany they build pedestrian underpasses.

          3. Gilmore

            ” pedestrian underpasses.”

            Yeah, Budapest had a bunch of these. they were like, “Fuck crosswalks” (small, dense city, it would slow down traffic, so they bored under the streets) and every major corner had like these little underground mini-ghettoes. they could be dangerous. i can’t remember actually using them at night, maybe they closed them after dark and you could cross the street on top

          4. slumbrew

            “pedestrian underpasses”

            a.k.a., rape tunnels.

          5. straffinrun

            There is an underpass there, too. The scramble runs really smoothly, though.

          6. Gustave Lytton

            There’re pedestrian overpasses elsewhere around Shibuya station. The volume of people would probably require a very large overpass, probably more than the current space allows.

          7. straffinrun

            It’s also where the Hachiko statue is. Huge tourist attraction. Why would they destroy the draw by eliminating the crossing?

  30. Old Man With Candy

    A fifteen year old Cornas to drink, two different pizzas, first caprese of the summer, arugula salad, a Boris Karloff horror film picked by SP.

    I definitely chose the right wife.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Showoff.

    2. Tundra

      You don’t have to keep rubbing our noses in it.

      Have a great night!

    3. straffinrun

      I love the word “arugula”. Drive my wife nuts by making the sound of an old Ford’s horn every time she serves it. “Arooooooooooogala, Arooooooogala.”

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Have you seen the price of arugula lately?

        1. straffinrun

          No. Wife doesn’t trust me to do the grocery shopping.

        2. AlmightyJB

          I do prefer arugula over baby spinach. Has a little peppery bite that’s nice.

          1. Rhywun

            It’s ok in mixed greens. All arugula is too much arugula.

      2. AlmightyJB

        I like the word cornucopia for some strange reason.

        1. westernsloper

          It is ingrained in you from childhood and the woven straw horns spilling the bounty of the harvest on a hay bale display making you think you will never go hungry because you are white. You are brainwashed and is why you are a shitlord taking the harvest from others.

          I am working on a submission to Vox on this very subject.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Thank goodness it wasn’t anything bad.

    4. westernsloper

      I havn’t eaten yet. I stopped and grabbed one of those bagged chopped salads at the store on my way home and plan on topping it with fried sausage and asiago. Tomorrow is the first day I have not had to work in the past seven days so I have beer drinking to catch up on. I do have a bottom round roast in the sous vide. I am trying out a jap version sous vide inspired by one of web dom’s links in her post the other day. It may be horrible or maybe not but it was on sale so I am only risking 5 bucks. My cheap ass slicer won’t slice raw meat very well so I thought maybe I should cook it first and then slice it. I am still dashi’less but in my hillbilly mind fish sauce should be an adequate substitute for finishing the dish sometime tomorrow.

      1. slumbrew

        A $5 sous vide setup? or $5 of meat?

        1. westernsloper

          5 risked on meat.

        2. westernsloper

          And now that I read that again I see where the confusion is. That there is some horrible sentence structure. sorry.

          1. slumbrew

            No worries, I’m drunk, my expectations are low.

          2. I was more interested in the ass slicer.

    5. slumbrew

      I had a lovely pepperoni pizza from the local Neapolitan place, a four year old syrah (and then some rosé) while my wife is at a bachelorette party and I watched Thor: Ragnarok (looking here in between). I think you win the night, but mine wasn’t bad.

  31. Count Potato

    “The reason @Twitter bias is so egregious is that we have no other way to disseminate facts. With #FakeNews being a mouthpiece solely for the #Democrat narrative, there is no other forum for ANY other viewpoint. If @Twitter becomes as biased as @CNN, free speech is virtually dead.”

    https://twitter.com/RealJamesWoods/status/1023246835660537856

    1. straffinrun

      Not one of his better tweets.

      1. westernsloper

        Ya, I am not sure twitter is the only platform to “disseminate facts.” Someone should tell him about this site. I disseminate facts and some shit I make up all the time.

      2. Pan Zagloba

        For shitlords, it’s the best way to reach normies. Sites like this or Reason mostly get found out by links from similarly-thinking people (for me it was finding Andrew Sullivan through a TV site of all things, then finding Megan McArdle through him, then she linked to a hubby piece on Reason), or even IRL, so you have to be already that way inclined to find it. On Twitter (despite their best efforts), if STEVE SMITH starts trending, normies will be exposed to him (and horrified, sure).

        So yeah, Twitter is a net positive for libertarianism. Ponder that on the Tree of Woe.

  32. Count Potato

    ““The opioid epidemic has killed more people in our city than car crashes and homicides combined,” said de Blasio. “After a rigorous review of similar efforts across the world, and after careful consideration of public health and safety expert views, we believe overdose prevention centers will save lives and get more New Yorkers into the treatment they need to beat this deadly addiction.””

    https://nypost.com/2018/05/03/de-blasio-commits-to-opening-four-supervised-injection-sites/

    Or you could just make it legal, but that doesn’t spend any tax money.

  33. Count Potato

    “There are no innocent white men. His story may not have actually have happened, but what matters is that it could have happened. Racism is wrong and this slandering of his kid is wrong and racist. Just admit that racism by white people is wrong. Is it hard to do? #KhalilCavil”

    https://twitter.com/SocialJustic4Me/status/1021612239948861441

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      That’s good parody, the responses taking him seriously are something else.

      1. slumbrew

        Full-on Poe’s Law territory for me

      2. Count Potato

        I can’t tell what’s parody anymore.

  34. Count Potato

    “Doing what I do and believing in what I believe, I have been exiled, harassed, stalked, beaten, put in a hospital, and have spent nights homeless. I have become terrified for my life. Please know this is not normal. It is time we fight back for the right of independent thought.”

    https://twitter.com/ashtonbirdie/status/1023318915756249088

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Wyatt
      @WyattCanam
      8h8 hours ago
      More
      Replying to @ashtonbirdie
      Do you not see that this is in large part of your own doing? You centered your personality around MAGA like tumblrinas do around cruddy fandom. When your entire personality becomes “I like Donald Trump” to where you plaster it on your dress, life isn’t going to be a lot of fun.

    2. Chafed

      Never heard of her. This seems like performance art.