Jai Alai

Before I begin, lets get it out of the way since it comes up from time to time:

Am I Mexican? No, I am not from Mexico, but my family originates from a town split by the Gadsden Purchase. I happen to descend from somebody that resided on the north side. I am no more Mexican than any of you who happen to know which country your (great…) grandparents got of the boat from and lived in a neighborhood populated entirely by immigrants from the same country. Ultimately, the avatar is a reference to a character from 3:10 to Yuma.

Now for the part that was actually questioned:

I am not Carlos Hathcock, but I think I mastered basic marksmanship.  Pistol (left) and Rifle (right).

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Control your breathing…

 Cool?

The grocery store in my neighborhood was closing down. For some reason, the clerk explained, the lease Safeway held for the last 30 years was not renewed. This meant that everything was 25% off.

Everything?

Yes, everything.  Including things I normally think are likely too expensive for what they are. Other things included brisket, scotch whiskey, artichokes, frozen salmon…

This is my review of Cigar City Brewing Jai Alai IPA:

I always thought this was some kind of extreme handball. Originating in the Basque region of Spain where players simply caught and threw a ball against a wall in the church courtyard, later evolved into an actual sport. If you were at all a part of the social scene in South Florida during the 70s, you were watching Jai Alai (pronounced Hī a Lī). The sport is almost dead today, but interest spiked about ten years ago when back in the day, the Most Interesting Man in the World made a few gamblers happy.

Part of the reason it died out was a players strike that lasted three years, and Whitey Bulger whacking the World Jai Alai president. It is a sport people gamble on after all…but in all fairness gambling is probably the biggest reason people still play it.

The Fronton:  That is the front wall. It is made from granite for reasons to be touched on shortly. The arena itself, called the Cancha, is composed of the granite Fronton, a back, and left walls each made from concrete. There is no wall to the right, but there is an out of bounds line and a fence to protect the crowd. There is also a foul area on the Fronton itself, that is made from a different material and makes a different sound when struck. Foul balls are not playable.

The Cesta: This is the big curved basket worn on the right hand. Each is made from woven wooden reeds grown in the Pyrenees. It is attached via a leather glove to the right hand of the player and fastened together with a leather strap called a ‘cinta.’ The Cesta allows the player to both catch and throw the ball in “one fluid motion” as required by the rules. Judges are stationed to make sure the player does not hold the ball, and throws it fluidly. It is also handy for putting a wicked spin on the ball to outwit your opponents.

Are you left handed? You may play Jai Alai with your right hand. Because of the way the Cancha is set up, it is too dangerous to play left handed for both spectators and players. Consequently, no Cesta will be made for a left hand. If you want an advantage in a dangerous sport by being wired up backwards—stick to boxing.

The Pelota: That means ball, en Español. The ball itself is made from a metal core, hard wound Brazilian rubber, string, and wrapped in goatskin. It is approximately ¾ the size of a baseball, or similar to a lacrosse ball should you actually be familiar with a lacrosse ball. One thing to take away; it is harder than a golf ball and hurled at speeds averaging 150-180 mph. The pelota is exchanged at 15 minute intervals and the cover replaced because of how quickly it gets worn out in a game. This is why the Fronton is made from granite; the ball would otherwise tear apart other materials.  Yes…I am linking this site as a reference.

The rules: Ever watch prison inmates play handball in the yard? That’s pretty much it, just without the stabbings. Here’s a good rundown.

So is it any good? If you happen to like heavy citrus IPA, yes. This is more orange/tangerine rather than the overpowering grapefruit variety that everyone loves to hate. Not my first choice but it does pique my interest in Cigar City’s other offerings, should any ever become available near me. Cigar City Jai Alai IPA: 3.5/5

Comments

188 responses to “Jai Alai”

  1. PieInTheSKy

    Ha I bet even I shoot better than that, and I don’t even shoot.

    1. Drake

      Rifle – maybe I could beat depending on what distance and caliber.

      Pistol – nope. Not unless I’m 3 feet away. Although I notice you pushed a few left, something I do regularly.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I was just sighting it in. 50 yards per the manufacturers instructions.

        https://danieldefense.com/components-parts/fixed-front-rear-sight-combo.html

        1. SandMan

          Not bad for iron sights.

  2. PieInTheSKy

    Also being male and not even Mexican am I to understand you have 0 intersectionality points?

  3. Gustave Lytton

    being wired up backwards

    Fucking handists. The last accepted -ism in society. Patriarchal oppression is chump change compared to writing system.

    1. Isn’t prejudice against bald people still acceptable too?

    2. trshmnstr

      This.

      /smudges ink all over hand

    3. Brasidas

      My Arabic classes were sweet, sweet, left handed revenge.

  4. Gustave Lytton
  5. Jai Alai is such a cool sport; I watched a couple of matches when I lived in Miami.

  6. Mr Lizard

    3.5??????!?!?!?? You’re dead to me you ftanned precise ballistics mammal.

    I’ll have you know I’m smuggling that beer literally around the galaxy. They can’t get enough of it.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Its good, I’m just not an IPA fan.

      1. Mr Lizard

        *retracts dulap, crawls back onto hot rock*

        Well in that case fine, more for the galaxy

  7. Gilmore

    “”No, I am not from Mexico, but my family originates from a town split by the Gadsden Purchase. I happen to descend from somebody that resided on the north side. I am no more Mexican than any of you who …””

    *spits*

    sounds like mexxiky talk to me.

    1. commodious spittoon

      I bet he has a dozen wives and twice as many kids already here. Fucking immigrants.

      1. Gilmore

        garddamn beaner bebbies

  8. Spudalicious

    Why are practicing shooting a guy in the back?

    1. Tres Cool

      He aspires to work for DoJ someday?

      1. Spudalicious

        Lol! Seriously, that silhouette looks like it’s facing away.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Hey man, it was either that target or the idiotic “Zombie-Nazi” target they had on sale.

          1. Spudalicious

            All the cool kids shoot the Nazi Zombie targets.

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            Meh. Cooler kids put 10 rounds of .45 into a nice little group from 15 feet away.

          3. AlmightyJB

            I started getting amazing groups when I replaced the barrel bushing on my Officers Special with a Wilson.

          4. Cops spray 100 bullets, and none of them hit the target.

          5. mexican sharpshooter

            Cops spray 100 bullets, and none of them hit the target.

            #shotsfired

          6. DEG

            Cops spray 100 bullets, and none of them hit the target.

            The target died of a heart attack.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      He’s soft. He can’t look a target in the eyes and still pull the trigger.

      “Gah! He’s probably got a ‘while you were out’ pad and 3 sticky notes back home who all love him. I can’t do it.”

  9. DEG

    I see Cigar City is now available in Massachusetts. Picking some of their stuff up will be easy now.

    I remember smuggling some of their stuff back from a Florida trip several years ago. That was some good beer.

    1. PieInTheSKy

      I see it is not available in Bucharest…

    2. AlmightyJB

      I dont recall ever seeing them around here.

      1. DEG

        Cigar City Distribution

        You were in Ohio right? They’re in Pennsylvania.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Yeah, Columbus. I’ll have to look for them.

          1. DEG

            I might not get the Schmidt-Rubin out to the range tomorrow. I didn’t make enough progress on my housework today. There’s always next weekend.

          2. AlmightyJB

            Yeah, I’m going next weekend.

  10. Tres Cool

    That looks like good stuff, Sharpie. I was taken by the Lagunitas Blood Orange that was recommended from here. Sadly, a quick cost-benefit-analysis of how much beer I drink puts it outside my price point, in quantity.

    Not entirely OT, as it involves a place to drink. However, decide to close in order to fix up your bar during the same weekend as the Cincinnati Music Festival, and you’re RACIST .

    1. MikeS

      Sadly, a quick cost-benefit-analysis of how much beer I drink puts it outside my price point, in quantity.

      #metoo. I love good beer, and I always have an assortment of cans/bottles/growlers of “good stuff” in the beer fridge. But there is always a 30 pack (or more) of Busch Light on-hand for “session” drinking.

    2. egould310

      I’ve been there before. They weren’t racist. Good food. Fine drinks.

    3. Grumbletarian

      Knockback Nats? More like Knockback Nazi, amirite?

    4. Yusef drives a Kia

      Speaking of lagunitas how about, Cherry Jane Sour Ale, 5.5% weak sauce for me but it should be a good Beer.
      Just waiting for the Fridge to do it’s thing,
      https://photos.app.goo.gl/THYrhVdY5iKVKvgz7

    5. Spudalicious

      “In 1981, a sales manager at the Westin Hotel distributed an internal memo to hotel executives saying that employees can expect loud guests, drug dealing and poor tipping during the 20th annual Kool Jazz Festival.“

      Loud guests and drug dealing are one thing, but poor tipping?!? Come on, man.

  11. PieInTheSKy

    speaking of Mexicans with guns, has the mexican sharpshooter Slowpoke Rodriguez comparison been done?

  12. Ultimately, the avatar is a reference to a character from 3:10 to Yuma.

    Your avatar should be in black and white, like 3:10 to Yuma.

    1. MikeS

      Is that a screwed-up attempt at linking to this?

      1. No; I didn’t attempt to link at all.

        1. MikeS

          Well then; good job! No mistakes!

    2. AlmightyJB

      My wife lived in Yuma. She said it was basically hell.

  13. Pope Jimbo

    Jai alai? Or High Li?

  14. Walford

    Gadson purchase? The only Gadson around here is the flag.

  15. MikeS

    If you were at all a part of the social scene in South Florida during the 70s, you were watching Jai Alai

    There’s a few seconds of a Jai Alai match in the Miami Vice intro I think? Too lazy to find and watch it.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Yes there is.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, it started to get somewhat popular around that time. I remember my uncle playing recreationally for a spell.

  16. egould310
    1. mexican sharpshooter

      I can move there….

      1. AlmightyJB

        It”s cold there. I hear its quite beautiful though. My sister and bil did a vaca there to hike.

        1. It’s only cold there in the winter. The rest of the time it’s nice.

          1. Grumbletarian

            It’s been humid as crap lately. But I’ll take it for five months of snowboarding season.

        2. Drake

          I was there last week looking at colleges for the son. 47 Degrees the night before we toured Plymouth State. It warmed up nice, but it was a little reminder.

          1. Gilmore

            Dartmoth will make him gay dont do it

          2. Drake

            Ha! He’s be lucky to get into UNH with his grades.

          3. Gilmore

            I toured NE with my dad on same sort of “visiting colleges” thing.

            Guess why i ended up in the south? You get 2 guesses, and there are 2 possible-correct answers.

          4. Drake

            Wrong turn at Albuquerque?

          5. Gilmore

            1 – weather
            2 – girls

            not necessarily that order.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Buses at the southern border?

    3. Spudalicious

      Section 8 housing?

    4. How about letting people live where they choose, without so much state interference?

    5. Gilmore

      HM alone is like 3% of that 6%

    6. DEG

      “I went from being able to speak Spanish every day to not speaking Spanish at all because there wasn’t anybody to speak Spanish to,” said Mrs. Celentano, who was born in Colombia to a Colombian mother and Hungarian father. “The only person I spoke Spanish with was a cleaning lady and she moved back to Colombia.”

      Visit Ricon Colombiano. Unless it has changed since I was there several years ago, the staff do not speak a lot of English.

      On further thought, if Mrs. Celentano can’t find anyone to speak Spanish with in New Hampshire, she’s looking in the wrong places.

    7. Old Man With Candy

      When I moved to Utah, there were practically no other Jews. When I moved to Montana, there were practically no other Jews.

      I’m trying to think of why this would have presented some special difficulty for me, why it was a “problem” that needed to be “fixed,” but I’m failing to do so.

      1. Mr Lizard

        Well sheistiness is a team sport…just sayin

    8. Drake

      They skipped over the whole “why” question. That’s my go-to for really working a prog into a frenzy.

    9. Grumbletarian

      New Hampshire, like its neighbors Vermont and Maine, is nearly all white. This has posed an array of problems for new arrivals, who often find themselves isolated and alone, without the comfort and support of a built-in community.

      Not mentioned: Most of our ‘new arrivals’ are from Quebec, which is immediately to the north after all, and there are plenty of people to talk to who speak Quebec French.

      1. Grumbletarian

        Northern New England does contain pockets that are less monolithic. They are concentrated in the largest communities — Portland, Me.; Burlington, Vt.; and in Manchester, N.H. In Manchester, for example, the white population has dropped to 82 percent, down from 98 percent in 1980. Since then, other ethnicities have been increasing, and as of 2016, Manchester was nearly 8 percent Hispanic, nearly 5 percent black and more than 4 percent Asian. In Lewiston, the second largest city in Maine, Somalis are well-established.

        Oh, so in the bigger cities it’s not as big a deal. It’s the sparsely inhabited rural areas of the lowest population coastal flyover states that are the problem.

        Holy fuck, someone was paid to write this drivel.

      2. mikey

        She can go to the Lowes in Nashua and read the sign which are all written in English and Spanish. I always found that curious as the more useful second language would be Hmong.

        I dunno, if I were a Spanish speaker living somewhere where another language was predominant Lowes practice would offend me. “You think I’m too stupid or lazy to learn enough English to find my way around a hardware store?”

        1. Grumbletarian

          C’est vrai! Ou sont tout les signes en francais?!

      3. DEG

        there are plenty of people to talk to who speak Quebec French.

        They’re too white to count.

        1. Grumbletarian

          Naturalement.

      4. Grumbletarian

        God that article really angered up my blood.

  17. AlmightyJB

    The was a Jai Lai restaurant in Columbus years ago . They were known for their Prime Rib. My grandpa took us there a couple of ti.es for special occasions when we were kids. It eventually became the Buckeye Hall of Fame Cafe with a bunch of Buckeye memorabilia. It’s walking distance from the ‘shoe but was too overpriced for what it was to stay in business. I think there’s a hotel there now instead.

  18. Old Man With Candy

    “Fronton” is one of those words like “grampus” or “etui” that I only know because I do NY Times crossword puzzles.

    We had mimosas this morning. Much better for breakfast than IPA.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Or anytime for that matter.

    1. AlmightyJB

      That the UN is Satanic? Everyone knows that. That their paying for all these mass immigration? I didn’t know the UN was. I did know that NGOs were picking up Africans in boat and shipping them to Europe to satisfy the need for rich Europeans to feel smug.

      1. Hyperion

        If you look at everything good and evil from a religious perspective, then you might come to that conclusion. My conclusion is that humans don’t need some powerful magical being whispering in their ear, we have good and evil in us by nature. I do see the UN as evil if only in the sense that they are a loose knit rabble of 3rd world despots and corruptocrats trying to bamboozle the USA out of whatever they can get. They’re mostly just worthless, a parasite, and should be disbanded.

        1. trshmnstr

          we have good and evil in us by nature.

          The limitation of this, of course, being that morality becomes either “it feels right to me and a bunch of other people, so I suggest you do it too” or “I have more power, so I get to decide what right and wrong are in my domain”

    2. Hyperion

      It has Lauren Southern in it, that’s all that matters.

    1. F. Stupidity Jr.

      Why don’t they just print more to cover those costs? God, economics is so simple and yet they keep screwing it up.

    1. Hyperion

      God has TDS also? Wow, that stuff is really virulent.

      1. AlmightyJB

        God’s just jealous.

    2. Grumbletarian

      God must have one hell of a sense of humor.

  19. trshmnstr

    I’m bottling this today. Skipped the secondary fermentation… hopefully that doesn’t make it suck.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I love Blonds. Where did you get recipe? Your experience would make an excellent article if you have time.

      1. trshmnstr

        Local brewshop in manassas. jaysbrewing.com

        I thought about writing up an article but decided to get my success rate above 50% before writing about brewing. This is batch 5. Batch 4 didn’t fully ferment, leaving us with oversweet underalcoholed beer.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Thanks! I had a Dubbelboch Thursday at a new local brewery that I had never tried. Very sweet. I’ve never had a beer that sweet. Was not pleasant to me. My wife liked it but she hasn’t acquired the taste for bitter yet. She’s getting there.

          1. trshmnstr

            I’m drinking one of batch 4 right now. Its a saison. My wife doesn’t have a sweet tooth, so it’s undrinkable to her. I can drink it, but I don’t like beers with a bubblegum aftertaste, even when better balanced than this. I just need the bottles, and I’d hate to pour 30 bottles off the back deck.

            Speaking of bitter, I have a love hate relationship with goses. It’s a punch of bitter citrus, but most of them are like biting into a lemon… not pleasant.

          2. AlmightyJB

            Yeah, I can’t do the tartness. We went to a Cider House in Athens, OH in the spring and there dry ciders were very tart as well. They had some semi’s that were ok but over all ciders not my think either. I don’t mind the bitterness of a good porter or dark brown, but like you I don’t want to drink vinegar. I don’t do IPAs at all.

          3. AlmightyJB

            I should mention that I have never had a Dopplebock that I didn’t like until this one. It was Grove City brewing and I really wasn’t impressed with their beers. They had a winter ale that wasn’t bad probably because the warm spices covered everything else up:).

    2. I’ve got another week before I try these, My first All-grain attempt, although I had an award-winning brewmaster walking me through the process.

    3. DEG

      I like bière de garde. I think the secondary fermentation is what makes them what they are, so I wouldn’t skip it.

  20. Hyperion

    Don’t any of you work?

    1. AlmightyJB

      I’m off to work on my to do list now. Been procrastinating.

      1. Hyperion

        To do list for today is take wifey to airport, come back and drink beer.

        1. MikeS

          It’s good to have a plan. Godspeed.

    2. trshmnstr

      Procrastinating. Probably will start working again here in an hour or so.

    3. MikeS

      Unfortunately, yes. I was called in to “fire-fight.”

      Example #43 of; if they would give me the tools to work from home, I could save them money and me some drive time when “fires” pop up.

      1. Hyperion

        I work from home about 50% of the time. Don’t even really need the tools on my desktop, though I have. I can just VPN into my desktop.

        1. Hyperion

          Work desktop, that is.

          1. MikeS

            True, the tools aren’t so much the hangup as is the lack of will from above to allow anyone to work from home. Well, other than those people who won’t allow anyone else to work from home…

          2. trshmnstr

            This. There’s literally nothing in the office worth having. Most of the people I interact with are in other offices. However, the biggest reason for our restrictive work from home policy is face time. I have a substantially better setup here at home, and could save an hour and a half per day in commute.

          3. Hyperion

            I can save several hours working at home just because of the fact that it’s quiet and no one bothers me. There are times in the office when there is so much damn noise and distraction that I can’t be doing any better than 30-40% productivity.

          4. trshmnstr

            Yep, even with a 15 month old at home, I’m much more productive here. Somebody always wants help on a side project or to gossip or to get an opinion on their latest work product.

          5. Hyperion

            ” lack of will from above to allow anyone to work from home”

            You have to shame them, man. Dress up as a tree and picket outside, yelling ‘No work at home, killing us trees and human nature! Tree murderers!’. This is probably the only reason I get to work at home for come clients, so the global warming eco freako stuff is at least good for something.

          6. Hyperion

            ‘some’, damnit. I had a huge cheeseburger at Red Robin and man it was delicious. But I’m not used to eating like that and I had to take a nap when we got home.

          7. Semi-Spartan Dad

            I hear ya. I worked as a 40 hour/week TEMP for FOUR YEARS because the higher-ups wouldn’t let me be an employee and work from home.

            Then we got a new head of HR who took one look at the situation and pretty much said you’ve got to be kidding me, give this man a fucking job and no more temps who are permanent.

          8. MikeS

            I think the biggest reason is that I work in manufacturing and there seems to be this attitude that everyone has to be in the building. Regardless of job. Since all the production workers, leads, supervisors, maintenance, etc, etc, have to physically be there to get thing done, management thinks that the CNC programmer needs to be there.

            I thought it was just “old-fashioned” thinking by ownership and upper management, but the owner’s millennial daughter who is working her way up the management ladder seems to be of the same mind. That she is against it is especially frustrating. And her hypocrisy when she works from home -or the family lake cabin- is especially annoying.

      2. Gilmore

        I have some crazy stories about “things you can only do from office PC” which required trips to desk @ 3AM, etc.

        but i think talking about them is still a FINRA violation of some kind

    4. DEG

      Too much procrastination for me plus I slept in today. I made a little progress though, but not enough, on what I need to do around the house.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    I’m getting ready to do a leakdown test on my Honda, to see if I want to drive it four thousand miles a few weeks from now. The plugs look nice and happy, but the compression (cold) is not exactly awe-inspiring.

    1. Hyperion

      4000 miles a week? I was worried about driving my car 500 miles a week if I move to VA. I’m not driving 4000 miles a week for sure, no way, That’s almost all the way across the country and back.

      1. Hyperion

        Oh, never mind, you said 4000 miles ‘a week from now’. Where the hell are you driving, Argentina?

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Argentina

          Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
          *throws empty whiskey bottle*

  22. AlmightyJB

    Beer related. Was trying to find something for wife on Pilsners and came across this beer type chart page. Pretty cool.

    https://flowingdata.com/2016/12/19/beer-styles/

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      I need to look at this when I’m not drinking

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Oh, never mind, you said 4000 miles ‘a week from now’. Where the hell are you driving, Argentina?

    Indiaanoplace and back. It’s almost 1700 miles each way.

    The leakdown test did not really inspire confidence. Now, I’ll have to adjust the valves and do it all again, warm, to see if it’s as bad as it looks. Good thing I have another motor lined up.

    it looks like I’ll be renting a car. I refuse to subject myself to the TSA and the rest of the security theater dance.

    Thanks, Boooosh!

  24. Gilmore

    James Hetfield on leaving california (after growing up in LA and moving to San Fran in mid-1980s)

    its a nice encapsulation of the main thing dividing Americans at the moment, imo

    1. Gilmore

      *reason for move to San F. is sort of interesting. Cliff Burton demanded it when they asked him to join the band. He hated LA metal scene and thought it was too faggy.

    2. Suthenboy

      He is describing run-of-the-mill lefties. They have always been just like they are now here in this country. Shallow minded, herd mentality.

      1. Suthenboy

        and nasty sons of bitches too. vindictive as hell towards anyone not like them

      2. Gilmore

        What i thought was interesting was the “people who spend most of their time minding other people’s business” thing

        its not a political distinction, its psychology.

        evangelicals aren’t particularly different in that regard. there have been times in the past (and present) when the right (or right-originated ideas) had same effect in the populace: the worry that other people might be living their lives or thinking in ways that weren’t consistent w/ their own.

        1. Suthenboy

          You are exactly right, it is psychology, i.e. herd mentality. Yes, I have noticed that those people are particularly shallow-minded, see everything in black and white and are attracted to certain kinds of movements: socialism and religious flocks. Both of those are collectivist movements and necessarily include lots of minding other people’s business.

  25. Ayn Random Variation

    I went to Connecticut once to watch jai alai. I enjoyed it immensely because it was like betting on horses but you were close enough to the court to boo the player you lost your money on.

    1. Gilmore

      ” to watch jai alai.”

      i didn’t realize there were places outside Miami that it happened.

      i went once in Mi. i was drunk as fuck and all i remember is cigar smoke and short little old hispanic men and a ball moving so fast that it made hockey/lacrosse look like girls soccer

      1. DEG

        Newport, Rhode Island used to have a big Jai Alai place. It might still be there.

      2. Ayn Random Variation

        Looks like it ended in 2001. It used to be a thing. I remember seeing Milford jai alai commercials

        http://www.nytimes.com/2001/12/13/nyregion/jai-alai-retires-from-connecticut-sport-s-fans-most-elderly-lament.html

        1. Gilmore

          I remember seeing Milford jai alai commercials

          that rings a serious bell.

          in the 1980s there were commercials for jai alai…. nearby. also, a dog track. I used to go to yonkers raceway, but they had cart-races, not dogs. i think the dog-track joint was near the CT jai alai, maybe.

  26. Ayn Random Variation

    Either I’m getting to old for this weather or this is the worst N.Y. summer ever. It’s like being in a swamp surrounded by millions of people. I’ve seen roaches the size of mice this summer. I have to wear one shirt to commute work and then change when I get there.
    This blows.

    1. Suthenboy

      It gets more fun as you get older. I used to live for the summer. Now I find it unbearably oppressive. When is fall coming?

      1. Ayn Random Variation

        If it’s like last year, fall will come for a few days in November

  27. Tundra

    Thanks. Mr. Sharpshooter! A really interesting topic and a beer that’s in my fridge this very moment!

    Would NOT play, though.

  28. Spudalicious

    “James Hetfield on leaving california (after growing up in LA and moving to San Fran in mid-1980s)”

    That’s exactly why we left the Bay Area and moved to Idaho. Every time we go back just further reinforces our decision.

    1. Tres Cool

      I spent a month in Pocatello, ID sampling at the FMC phosphorus plant. I’m gonna assume it was the ‘college town’ atmosphere of just that city, and not likely indicative of the rest of the state, but I was quite happy to get the hell out of there.

      1. Raven Nation

        I like Boise.

      2. Spudalicious

        That’s what you get for going to Pocatello! People I know that live in part of the state don’t like it either.

        1. Tres Cool

          Or all the americium I was exposed to made me grouchy.

          1. Spudalicious

            Very possibly.

    2. Too bad a whole bunch of CA people who don’t share your political views are doing the same.

  29. Not sure how many folks here actually watch comedy central or follow the comics stuff I’ve posted about here before….but this is just too good. https://youtu.be/i5e8dZwzDys

  30. Count Potato

    “Former Fox News star Kimberly Guilfoyle is firing back at those who’ve claimed she was essentially pushed out of the network for inappropriate workplace behavior.

    On Tuesday, Guilfoyle officially confirmed her decision to depart from the network to join boyfriend Donald Trump Jr. on the campaign trail. But Fox News and White House insiders are claiming Guilfoyle’s departure was more out of her hands than she’s led on. According to a report from the Huffington Post, sources claim Guilfoyle “engaged in emotionally abusive behavior and showed colleagues personal photos of male genitalia.””

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/33678/kimberly-guilfoyle-fires-back-after-sources-claim-amanda-prestigiacomo

    OK, which you sent her dick pics?

    1. Suthenboy

      “…sources claim…”

      In other words, it’s bullshit.

      1. Spudalicious

        “Lessee, she’s going to campaign for Trump so let’s throw out some salacious accusations to tarnish her image ahead of time.”

  31. Count Potato

    “Prosecutors in Georgia may have thought they had a slam-dunk case when the defendant confessed to police and in court, but jurors refused to convict on a felony charge for a man growing marijuana for his own personal, medicinal use.

    Javonnie McCoy was “caught red-handed” with nearly a pound of marijuana, Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Bill Torpy reported Friday.

    “He admitted it to police, and later he looked jurors in the eye and said, yep, it was mine. I used it as medicine,” Torpy explained. “The jurors let him go. He was minding his own business and wasn’t hurting anybody, they reasoned. He just doesn’t belong in prison.”

    Torpy noted the Dublin, Georgia case was the second such win in Laurens County for McCoy’s attorney, Catherine Bernard.

    The columnist, who has worked at the Atlanta Journal-Constitution since 1990, referred to Bernard as “a conservative Republican who’s also a staunch civil libertarian.””

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/07/yep-mine-man-admits-growing-weed-georgia-jurors-refuse-convict/

    https://twitter.com/catherine4ga

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      She’s certainly better looking than my lawyer.

      1. Tres Cool

        Yeah, mine tend to look like this.
        No joke, I retained that guy.

        1. slumbrew

          Mine’s more like this guy

    2. Tres Cool

      That makes me smile. However, can the prosecutor, since the guy copped to it, appeal and try to seat a jury of the “right people” next time?

      1. Count Potato

        I’m no lawyer, but wouldn’t that be double jeopardy?

        1. Tres Cool

          You would think, but I’d bet some d-bag prosecutor with blue-balls over getting a big L in that case could still phone the federales and let the pros go to work.

    3. Suthenboy

      Not being able to find juries that would convict is one of the main things that got prohibition overturned. Looks like we are headed down that road again. I was wondering when this would start happening.

      1. Tundra

        It’s really great news.

      2. Tres Cool

        Well, I had this discussion with Tres Sr. last weekend over Ohio waffling & floundering over implementing medicinal marijuana. IMO, Kasich is making the process the punishment by implementing all these special “pharmacology advisory panels”, “pharmacology review boards”, “physician training”, and every other sort of hurdle he can throw out. Pater Tres thought oversight wasnt a bad idea, and my response each time was “how’d that alcohol prohibition work before? How’s that war-on-drugs working out?”
        It doesnt.

      3. Spudalicious

        That there is some good old fashioned “jury nullification”.

    4. Hyperion

      I’m surprised that the entire jury are not being harassed within an inch of their lives by authorities.

  32. Count Potato

    “Second page of the telegraph today. @ElizaJBarr you watched the officer deny me my right to criticize Islam. You watched them say I would be breaking the law if I spoke to anyone. Yet you reported that absolutely nothing happened. You are why no one trusts the media anymore.”

    https://twitter.com/Lauren_Southern/status/1023000294123233285

    1. Tundra

      It may be just me, but that chick is getting kind of tedious.

      1. Tres Cool

        I’m with you. I appreciate the angle she’s trying to work and show favoritism to selected groups, but she’s making a point of deliberately trying to stir shit up.
        It was way more funny when the muslims in Sweden attacked the ABC australia crew. That shit wasn’t planned.

      2. Not Adahn

        her sister is much better looking imo.

  33. Tres Cool

    I’ll need a ruling from Straffin. But for some reason, THIS just makes me think of THIS.

    1. Count Potato

      “KFC Japan offering all-you-can eat fried chicken every Friday for the rest of summer!”

      In unrelated news, Straffin gains 20 lbs.

  34. Tres Cool

    I dont know the half-life of meth paired with sterno, or if flashbacks happen. But has anyone seen Brett L. or Florida glibs recently ?

    1. Brett L

      I was at a Florida prison today, but they let me leave.

  35. Gilmore

    good summary of modern journalism

    media: “people falsely paint the ‘Abolish ICE’ movement as an effort to open the nation’s borders”

    person media is profiling: 100+ tweets saying, “open the borders”

    1. Hyperion

      They’re not commies either.

    2. Count Potato

      The whole thing is retarded. They want to abolish the agency that enforces the laws, but not change the laws. Which gives the worst possible result — borders that are open in practice but not in principle, letting in even more people whose status is still illegal.

      1. Gilmore

        ” abolish the agency that enforces the laws, but not change the laws.”

        yes, its idiotic and inane

        but you can’t point that out because it would reveal that their politics is all about feels, not reality.

  36. commodious spittoon

    Aw, come on. Don’t kill house spiders. Kill all the house centipedes you like.

    1. Suthenboy

      I like spiders. I never kill spiders outside unless it is a black widow. However, I dont want the bastards crawling across my face while I sleep. They cant live in my house, I dont care how many bugs they eat.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I kill black widows on sight. With joy. And I killed a spider that crawled up my face while I was soaking in the tub, then fished all its little legs out of the water. But as a rule I let spiders be.

  37. Suthenboy

    Speaking of bugs, just in case anyone didn’t know this:

    Go to the drug store and buy pure boric acid. Mix it about a quarter of a pound half and half with flour and put enough water in to make a dough. Roll it out in a sheet about 1/4″ thick. Slice into 1/2″x1/2″ squares. Leave out for 24 hours to dry completely.
    Put those little squares under your sink, by the hot water heater, under bathroom sinks, on top of kitchen cabinets, in window sills on top of door frames of outside doors etc. Out of sight places where water or food scraps can be found.
    After a couple of months you will notice no more roaches. You will have no roaches for as long as those tablets stay there…20 years or so.
    Cheap. Easy. Effective. No more roach spray and no more exterminators.