I mentioned to everyone I went to Mexico right? No big surprise.
From where I am, it’s only a 3-4 hour drive depending on whether or not you follow Mexican traffic laws. To be honest the route I take goes through something called a “hassle free zone”, but I have seen Federales there so I’m not about to chance it. I keep it around three times the speed limit.
This is my review of New Belgium The Hemperor.
On my way there I received a voicemail in a town I never have signal.
“Hi this is Kelly from Swiss Corpse International Industries.” I guess Anna didn’t last a week.
“Swiss wants me to relay a message to you. He says, ‘the Old Man and the Sea will find you in Mexico. I can’t read this….it isn’t very nice.”
“It’s not meant to be nice!” I thought I heard in the background.
“He also wanted me to relay the message, ‘thanks for nothing, asshole, now I’m going to Neverland to find…Steve Smith?’”
“Neverland?” I asked myself out loud.
“Netherlands! Its crystal clear, read the damn memo!” I heard in the background. Oh no, this call was recorded for training purposes. “Netherlands, its where the Dutch people live!”
“I thought Dutch was what Germans called themselves?” She asked.
That’s one way to get a Narrowed Gaze on your first day at work.
The voicemail continued. “…um…Swiss…wants….wants” Her voice was trembling. “…he wants you to know that you signed a contract, next time read the fine print, ha ha ha ha….ha. He really wanted that last one. Five ha’s. Just go along with what they say. I know how much you hate…Argentines? Do I really have to say that last one?”
“Just fucking do it.” I definitely heard Swiss yell faintly in the background.
“…so this really benefits you. They have too much on you. It’s not worth fighting it, don’t be stupid…” The voicemail ended.
They can’t find me in Mexico. It’s a fishing turned resort town populated by Sammy Hagar types and a few Jesse Ventura type retirees. Both constantly complaining about the government but completely ignore the ridiculous overreach the Mexican government takes on a daily basis. Apparently, police presence in the form of machine gunners in the back of a pickup truck is okay, because you get a discount on your taxes if you pay them three months early…..
“They can’t find me, there’s too many Mexicans. I blend in.” I reassured myself. I put the phone in the glove box and finished gassing my car.
_____
“Room no ready yet.” The woman at the concierge desk informed me. “Come back one hour, need clean.”
“Thank you.” I assumed I can probably find something to do for an hour.
_____
“Necesitamos limpian su cuarto. Damos una otra hora, por favor.” The man at the concierge desk informed me an hour later.
“Muchas gracias.” I guess I can probably find something else to do for an hour.
_____
“Esta aqui. Trescientos quince.” Finally, they handed me a key to room 315. The concierge looked hauntingly at the back corner, and handed me an envelope. I turned and saw a shadowy figure wearing a hoodie in the corner, under the AC duct of course.
He pointed at the figure and the envelope and shuffled off to the back room waving his hands in the air. Clearly not wanting anything to do with either the hooded figure or the envelope. I opened it.
“Pollos.”
You have to be kidding me. I turned it over and looked back for the hooded figure. He was gone.
“Just kidding, LOL. We’re at Playa Bonita, it’s easy to find. The only white house on the point near the tide pools.”
I knew the house. It has that ‘drug lord’ vibe to it, with its high walls, iron gates and the enormous dog walking around the property. It seemed a little too out of place but left intentionally in plain sight.
“Come by at 4:20. Bring a dessert.”
I decide to take Swiss’ advice and not fight it…yet. As I drove down the dirt road I noticed a number of ultralight aircraft landing in the dry basin, exchanging small items and taking off towards the sunset.
I pulled up to the house and dismounted. I pushed the blue button on the intercom.
Bzzzzzz
“Good afternoon. You’re right on time.”
“I try to be.” I answered back, not having anything better to say.
“What’s in the box? It’s a dessert right?”
I held up the pink box I got from the panaderia in town from the baker with one arm. “It’s a tres leches cake.” I replied. “Con fresas. Last one he had.”
The cast iron gates to the compound slowly opened and stopped just wide enough for me to squeeze through. Ever wary of the enormous dog attacking me in the courtyard, I approached the pristine, white house.
_____
The house itself had clean, white walls. The floors were wall to wall saltillo tile as was typical in this part of the world, arranged in a visually stimulating hexagonal mosaic. Imposing columns with a tasteful, off-white texturing held up the vaulted ceiling. This was designed intentionally to be intimidating.
“Good afternoon…mexican sharpshooter.” A voice echoed from within the hallway. I turned and saw a comparatively smaller man than I. Not a dwarf, but certainly nobody that would be confused with Warty. He had a black, but graying beard that appeared to have never been trimmed, but was well kempt and combed to tuck neatly under the chin. He was wearing a white, loose fitting garment with sleeves that covered both his hands while they were in a gently closed position. His arms were not crossed. The garment appeared to be painstakingly obvious it was made from a single source of crisp, linen fiber.
This man was very familiar with the Laws of Leviticus.
“It’s rather dusty outside. Please, remove your shoes.” He said. I noticed he too was barefoot, and obliged. “Can I interest you in a glass of Romanian wine?” He motioned to a room with a glass door; hundreds of bottles of wine were neatly placed on wooden racks. With a child, aged 12, inside dutifully turning one a half turn.
“I’d like that, however I am not a wine drinker. Please don’t waste anything ‘good’ on my account.” I replied, removing my shoes.
“Left shoe first.” He said.
“I beg your pardon?” I asked.
“I SAID—take off your LEFT SHOE first.” He said sternly. “Goddamn Catholics.” His demeanor changed back. “Yes, you are certainly more of a beer guy. That’s why we called you here today. I still have to pay you back for that bottle of spiked pig urine you sent me.”
“So you’re the Old Man?” I asked.
He nodded and motioned to a crystal bowl filled with lemon drops set on a table. “Candy?”
“I’m —“
“Good? Yes. Please join us in the parlor.” The Old Man said.
_____
The parlor was equally impressive. Its walls were mostly bookshelves alternating with displays of small artifacts. I immediately centered in on a massive cuneiform tablet.
“Please don’t touch.” A woman’s voice said behind me. “It’s very old, I would hate to have to do as it instructs, and remove your hand with a rusty tin can lid.”
“I can imagine that.” I said.
“It’s the Code of Hammurabi.” She said. “One of the world’s first examples of the imposition of freedom.” I could see her hand was trembling in her attempt to suppress rage. “I had to have it.” 
She wasn’t dressed nearly as unnervingly as the Old Man, even though she was also dressed in white. Her hair was tied back neatly and she wore thick rimmed glasses. Under her arm was a small laptop she carried around. She had a glass of wine with a volume similar to my head carried gently in her other hand.
“Yeah, that was a fun day. The British Museum can suck it.” Another man walked into the room. He was wearing a hoodie, he pulled it back to reveal a blue mohawk.
“Don’t mind the Mad Scientist.” She looked at him. “Shouldn’t you be working?”
The Mad Scientist nodded and scurried out of the room.
“He’s completely out of his mind, but he’s the best grease man in the business. I wanted this tablet. He set off a small explosion in the London Underground last year. The diversion was enough to occupy the London Metro police long enough for Warty to walk in and steal it. He picked up the 1500kg stone tablet and placed it here in my vacation home.”
She was interrupted by the sound of an angle grinder in the garage. “Ha ha ha ha ha. Suck it!” Mad Scientist shouted.
“I was at the British Museum six months ago, the Code was—“
“They have a forgery. You didn’t see it there, because it is here in my parlor. I suppose you want to know why we called you here today. I need a favor, but first, can I interest you in some falafel?”
_____
The Old Man clapped his hands twice and six Mexican children dutifully marched into the room carrying trays of food into the dining room. They looked like Oompa Loopas, just slightly less creepy.
“So I am supposed to be on vacation. Why did you call me here?” I asked.
The Old Man began. “We have been plotting to legalize drugs for the past thirty years. We set up several operations here in Mexico, Columbia, Cambodia, The Gambia, and Arkansas that will all be poised to corner the market upon legalization. The only problem is—“
“Arkansas?” I had to interject.
“It’s a holdover from Whitewater. Hillary lost her nerve so we cut our losses in the 90s, but the operation remained. They looked the other way when we showed them our satellite photos of Hillary riding Web Hubbel like Seabiscuit in the early 80s. Even in the low resolution photos that were typical of the time, they had to admit it was her. Nobody else is stupid enough to get a tramp stamp of Che Guevara.” The Old Man explained.
I choked for a moment on my falafel.
“At any rate. She got too dangerous during the last election. I duplicated her email server twice, sending one to our friend Julian Assange, and putting the other in a bathroom in Colorado.” She explained. “To keep Trump in line, we have a small explosive charge in his MAGA hat. He’ll sign the bill if and when it comes to his desk, unless he wants to level Trump Tower.”
“That’s small?” I asked.
“Small enough.”
“So S—
“No.” The Old Man stopped me.
“No, what?”
“Do not say her name out loud. She has many aliases. The avatar you know her as, ‘The Hacker,’ ‘The Hand of God,’ ‘Guccifer,’ ‘Guccifer 2.0,’ ‘Pablo Escobar,’ and ‘La Lívida Reina.’ You may not say her name out loud.” I looked over and saw that she smiled at me sweetly.
“All hail the livid queen!” Mad Scientist shouted as he got the skillsaw going. “Ha ha ha ha ha, Suck it!”
“…Señor Escobar, how does any of this legalize drugs?” I asked.
“We needed a mechanism to get enough people addicted to the compounds the Old Man has been working on since he poisoned our rival, William Randolph Hearst.” She explained.
“You poisoned him?” I asked.
“With falafel. Here, have some more.” The Old Man added another three to my plate.
“Enough people demand the drugs, they will have no choice but to legalize. Especially with enough congresscritters addicted themselves. We just needed the right carrier.” She explained.
“A solvent, if you will.” The Old Man added.
“Then in 1973, while on holiday in New Delhi, the Old Man drank something called an India Pale Ale.”
“It was dreadful.” The Old Man said.
“But it was perfect.” They held hands. “Because you can’t smell or taste anything else while drinking it.”
“So this compound. What is it?” I asked.
“It’s a hallucinogen.” The Old Man explained. “That’s all you need to know.”
“Have you tested it, to make sure you don’t kill anyone?” I asked.
“Of course we did!” She answered. I might have offended her, based on her tone. “We tested it on Riven. She was absolutely adorable and they call her ‘Giggles’ now.”
“Look, there’s going to be a few…hundred million…broken eggs, but it’s okay.” The Old Man added. “It’s just culling the herd if they don’t want to be safe about it, and quite frankly it was their decision to like IPA.”
A small explosion shook the walls, with a small amount of plaster dust falling down. “IPA! Ha ha ha ha ha! Suck it!” Mad Scientist was up to something in the courtyard. 
“Besides.” She added. “WE did not create IPA. We just created the hop arms race. Then we began licensing beer infused with CBD and our compound. The first out to market was called Breaking Bud.” She looked disappointed. “Sadly, that one got us in a lawsuit with SONY pictures.”
“Copyright infringement.” The Old Man said. “They sued our Swiss holding corporation.
“A Swiss holding corporation?” I asked. This was getting weird.
“You’re familiar with it.” She explained. “Swiss Corps International Industries.”
“You’re a pawn, just like Mad Scientist. Swiss Servator doesn’t know who he really works for, but is more of a bishop. Deal with it.” The Old Man said. “Here, have some more Romanian wine.”
The lights flickered, followed by the unmistakable sound of arc flash and the Mad Scientist’s sadistic laughter. “Ha ha ha ha ha. You’re a pawn! Suck it!” 
“Its okay though. I got back at them by hacking them, leaving North Korea’s greasy fingerprints all over it, and distributing a movie on the internet before its release. It was a terrible movie.” She said.
“Wait, I thought they said it could’ve been anyone, not necessarily North Korea?” I asked.
“Don’t read Business Insider, dear. They’re idiots.” She replied.
“Duly noted. What do you want me to do?” I asked.
“What you always do. Drink beer. Talk about something silly and tell the Glibs it’s amazing.” The Old Man said.
“I’m pretty honest about my opinions. They already know I don’t like IPA, and they’re going to call me on that.” I argued.
The Old Man clapped his hands twice. A Mexican child walked in with a six pack and a clean chalice. “You’re going to try it right now. You’re going to fall back on your previous history of being honest and tell them you like it. The Glibs will buy it. They get addicted to our compound, and tell their friends about it. You’re going to make us very wealthy.”
“You really expect me to tell them I like an IPA?” I asked.
“No Mr. sharpshooter–I expect you to die.” She said. “Oh my. I’m so sorry, that came out wrong.” She was a bit flustered. She took another sip of Romanian wine before composing herself. “If you don’t, Lionel Messi is going to kill you and your family. He has pretty good cardio.”
“The soccer player?” I was confused.
“Part of our fortune was made on sports betting. We have the entire Argentine National team in our pocket.” The Old Man explained. “He owes us millions of Pounds from fucking up the round robin stage of the world cup. Iceland was only supposed to beat the spread, not tie them. Fucking Argentines, you can’t trust them”
“If you can’t trust an Argentine Striker…” I said.
“Just wait until you see what happens to Sergio Aguerro. We put an explosive charge in his knee last year. Remember how he had an injury late in the year, and they lost to Liverpool? You didn’t think Liverpool could beat them on their own, did you?” She said. “Oh and by the way, it was no mistake that STEVE SMITH broke into your house and kidnapped the tiny ass dog.”
“A ha ha ha ha ha. Suck it Liverpool!” Mad Scientist shouted in the foyer.
The Old Man nodded to the Mexican child. She opened and poured the New Belgium Hemperor into the chalice.
“If I say no right now?” I asked.
The Old Man pointed to the corner, where their enormous, apparently half dog, half polar bear was gnawing happily on an uncooked brisket.
“It’s in the contract you signed to publish on my site. You can’t tell us no.”
_____
It poured amber, had little head, and it smelled like bong water. I took down half the hemp infused IPA in a long swig. Yup, it tasted like overhopped bong water. A second swig finished it off.
Then. It. Happened.
I found myself walking through a field of grain. I was in Iowa or something, because I could see a sign that said, “Des Moines 20 miles,” with black smoke billowing from a small city in the distance.
“Who would burn down Des Moines? I mean I can totally see somebody burning down Atlanta, but what’s in Des Moines that’s worth burning?” I asked out loud.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU HIS CHOSEN ARSON QUESTIONING ONE.
“What?”
ZARDOZ IN SQUABBLE WITH NEIGHBORING FARM. BRUTAL FARMER TAKES MY PRIVATE ROAD ACROSS MY PROPERTY TO ACCESS HIS. NO BIG DEAL REALLY, UNTIL I ASKED BRUTAL TO HELP COVER THE COST OF REPAIR AFTER HEAVY SNOW LAST WINTER, AND HE REFUSED. I MADE THE REPAIRS ON MY OWN AND FILED A REQUEST WITH THE STATE HE CEASE AND DESIST USING MY ROAD.
“Understandable.”
THEN THE STATE INFORM ZARDOZ, BRUTAL NEIGHBOR FILED FOR AN EASEMENT ON ZARDOZ’S PRIVATE ROAD.
“Judas Priest, what an asshole.”
BRUTALS IN THE STATE APPROVED THE EASEMENT 2 YEARS AGO.
“That’s terrible, do you have any legal recourse?”
ZARDOZ HAVE LEGAL RECOURSE, BUT ONLY REASONABLE ACTION WAS TO GO TO THE STATE HOUSE IN DES MOINES AND CLEANSE THE BRUTALS THAT GAVE AWAY ZARDOZ’S PROPERTY.
“Sounds reasonable. Is that why the entire city is on fire?”
ZARDOZ GOT IN A GROOVE. ONCE ZARDOZ START CLEANSING HE JUST KEEPS ON GOING UNTIL THE JOB OF CLEANSING IS DONE.
“I can relate. What about your neighbor?”
ZARDOZ HAVE BIG PLANS FOR NEIGHBOR.
“It involve cleansing?”
NO. MORE LIKE CLEANSE MY PATHETIC NEIGHBOR.
“My bad. You have any idea why I am here?
ZARDOZ BELIEVES YOU DRANK THE OLD MAN’S SERUM. THIS ENTIRE EPISODE IS OCCURRING WITHIN THE CONFINES OF NOW YOUR EXPANDING MIND.
Yeah, I recall drinking something. Can you do me a favor and not call it that again?
ZARDOZ PROMISE NOTHING. BUT HE CAN PREDICT PAIN IF YOU DO NOT FULFILL THEIR MORE THAN REASONABLE REQUEST.
“Really?”
YES. ARGENTINE SOCCER PLAYERS WILL ATTACK AND OVERWHELM YOUR DEFENSE WITH SYSTEMIC PRECISION. SHOULD THAT FAIL THEY WILL ATTEMPT AN APPEAL TO THE AUTHORITIES AND FRAME YOU FOR ATTROCITIES YOU DID NOT COMMIT. IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US, HONESTLY. THEY DID IT TO ZARDOZ IN THE EARLY 70S.
“Really?”
YES. SP GATHERED DIRT ON ZARDOZ AND USED IT AS LEVERAGE IN A PLOT TO BRING GMO CHICKPEAS FOR SALE IN MIDDLE EASTERN AND MEDITERRANEAN MARKETS. ZARDOZ FAILED TO CLEANSE BRUTAL GREEK COURTS BLOCKING THE MOVE. AS A RESULT OF MY FAILURE, SP EXPOSED ZARDOZ’S AFFAIR WITH THE SIRENS OF TITAN.
“Those statues were real? I thought Vonnegut was just being a total crackpot.”
BRUTAL VONNEGUT IS A TOTAL CRACKPOT. HE MAKE THE SIRENS SLENDER WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY THICC AF. THAT IS NO MATTER, YOU NOW HAVE THE CHANCE TO PREVENT THE SCOURGE OF BRUTALITY FROM FURTHER PLUNGING US ALL INTO THE ABYSS. DO NOT LET THE CHANCE SLIP.
“I hear you. I thought you were against the whole…breeding…thing?”
ZARDOZ LEARN LESSONS OF THE PAST. MESSAGE ON THE EVILS OF THE PENIS IS LESSON ZARDOZ LEARN THE HARD WAY. HE PASSES THIS LESSON ON TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
“You know, you’re not so one sided. You’re a much deeper character than people give you credit for.”
Then ZARDOZ unexpectedly coughed.
A Lee Enfield SMLE spun through the air, and butt-stroked me in the face.
_____
I fell back in the chair and struck my head against the tile floor.
“Ow! Fuck me!” I shouted.
“Hey genius. You’re not supposed to drink all of it at once.” The Old Man said.
“Noob! Ha ha ha ha ha. Suck it!
What if he were coming…for you?
I want everyone to go out right now and buy New Belgium The Hemperor. Right now, before you leave a comment. You will not get props for cheating and being first. It is available where ever New Belgium is sold.
This beer is delicious. It does not smell like bong water. Do not let the phrase IPA on the label fool you; it is amazingly balanced. I cannot describe to you how absolutely amazing this beer is. It is totally worth the $14.99 for a six pack; I will even go so far to say it is a bargain.
Please buy it, because I have absolutely no qualms with shooting Lionel Messi in self defense or any Argentine, really. New Belgium The Hemperor scores a very respectable 10/5.
I’m seriously going to buy that , As soon as BevMo opens, I was going anyway, and 10/5?
Tun read Messy!
Saturdays are fun around here
Or a Fun read……
#metoo
… Hobbit
Let me say that I’ve really enjoyed your articles. They publish during a time of day when I can’t glib, or I would have mentioned it then.
Seconded. I caught up on the last one last night.
Thanks to both of you.
I know what you mean about timing on some of the articles. I wanted to comment on Animal’s post about the Mauser but couldn’t connect in a timely manner.
I’m on to you people trying to deplete our national strategic Feteasca reserves. But the mighty Romanian army has plenty in a bunker in Retezat. But I said to much
I generally don’t like beers made in the “dank” hops style. I love big hoppy beers with a preference for citrusy hops. I can do pine hops too but only occasionally. Dank beers are gross.
I also HATE the smell and taste of weed though so that probably has something to do with it.
I love the smell of good weed. Hemp fiber is a different thing.
Avoid this beer.
Go home, Old Mexican With Carbine. You’re drunk.
That crap smells like moldy hay. I’d rather drink Mad Dog 20-20.
I had some hemp beer once. From Humboldt Brewing. I thought it was pretty good. I’ll pass on this IPA with hemp though.
A Lee Enfield SMLE spun through the air, and butt-stroked me in the face.
Mk I? Mk III? Mk V? Mk VI? One of the MLEs converted to SMLE? Inquiring minds want to know…
Hard to tell. Things were a bit hazy.
Here- have a catchy tune as a peace offering.
How many IBUs?
One I haven’t heard in a long time
I used to sing that to my kids when they were little.
Florida woman. Wow, what a bitch.
https://www.nbc4i.com/news/u-s-world/florida-mom-accused-of-faking-her-child-s-abduction-to-frame-business-partner/1313274981
Today, on Liar, or Retard? Headline edition:
Americans can legally download 3-D printed guns starting next month
From the article:
The settlement has not been made public, but Wilson’s attorneys provided a copy to CNN.
“We asked for the moon and we figured the government would reject it, but they didn’t want to go to trial,” said Alan M. Gottlieb with the Second Amendment Foundation, which helped in the case. “The government fought us all the way and then all of the sudden, folded their tent.”
Gottlieb said they filed the lawsuit during the Obama administration, but he doesn’t think that explains the change of heart.
“These were all career people that we were dealing with. I don’t think there was anything political about it,” he said.
Avery Gardiner, the co-president of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, said she’d be astonished if the settlement wasn’t approved by political appointees.
“We were shocked and disappointed that the Trump administration would make a secret backroom deal with very little notice,” Gardiner said. She said she found out about the settlement from a magazine article.
———–
For Wilson and his supporters, the ability to build unregulated and untraceable guns will make it much harder, if not impossible, for governments to ban them.
Gardiner fears it will make it easier for terrorists and people who are too dangerous to pass criminal background checks to get their hands on guns.
“I think everybody in America ought to be terrified about that.”
When your business model depends on stoking irrational fears, everybody is a terrorist. Especially you.
The Brady Campaign is full of shit. When the Trump administration starting more aggressively enforcing illegal gun-possession cases using existing law, TBC found fault with it simply because they weren’t either pursuing tougher laws or harassing the gun dealers.
So enforcing laws as written, with the effect of keeping guns out of the hands of those legally disallowed from possessing them, is insufficient, despite that being the purpose of those laws. Because they don’t punish legal owners.
Never give these cretins an inch. They wear their intentions on their sleeve, then complain about intransigent gun rights groups being unwilling to meet them halfway.
The Brady Campaign is pretty clear that their ultimate goal is total prohibition on private gun ownership. There’s no room to compromise with someone who’s goal is so absolute. Any ground you give you’ll never get back, and they’ll never be satisfied.
Of course, that was the plan from the get go. Just keep building that list. Congress is never going to outlaw guns, so you just make a growing list of bad people who can’t own guns, eventually no one can.
“So enforcing laws as written, with the effect of keeping guns out of the hands of those legally disallowed from possessing them”
There is your entire problem. All they need to do is keep adding to that list, until no one is legally allowed.
“The Brady Campaign”
I’m just going to assume that these are the same insufferable cretins who got the Brady law shit and signed by piece of shit Bill Clinton. There really is not much more damage they can do beyond that unconstitutional crap. The goal is, as said, total prohibition. But not by law, by regulatory capture. I said nothing when they came for the ex-felons, and then when they came for me, no one was left to care.
Yep, same folks. They changed their name at least once as their name become toxic.
They used to be Handgun Control Inc, back when gun grabbers were trying to take handguns away. Now they’re trying to get long guns starting with modern sporting arms.
I can download a gun?
No, but you can download nug.
http://nugporn.com/page/2/
*right clicks*
*right clicks*
Well, I tried.
You have to twinkle your nose, then fold your arms and whip your ponytail forward while blinking.
Hey… whatever works.
I want everyone to go out right now and buy New Belgium The Hemperor. Right now, before you leave a comment.
I’m drunk. Can’t drive.
#Fuckoffslaver
Wow. IPA is a hell of a drug.
If by IPA you mean Isopropyl Alcohol, or as I generally call it, 2-propanol, you would be correct.
However, dont confuse 2-propanol with 2-propanONE, cause the latter is also dimethyl ketone, aka Acetone. We use a lot of that in the course of my line of work.
(fun fact- I’ve heard old chemists call 2-propanone “pyroacetics” just to mess with the kids.)
I certainly hope you dont drink acetone…
The Gas is Great for Brazing, just some Oxygen and you’re good to go,
MAPP is actually methyacetylene-propadiene propane.
And for those of you who’ve never met OMWC, just picture Jerry Garcia, six months after he died.
For those of you who haven’t met Spudalicious, imagine the latter-years Mickey Rooney, fresh off a bender with The Village People.
Not the Mickey Rooney who testified before Congress about elder abuse?
Or completely insane Mickey Rooney ?
*golf clap*
They have antibiotics for that. Free advice: be pickier with whom you play golf.
*Whats her face at the drive in clap*
She said she tested negative. That’s what I get for picking up a golfing partner at the 19th hole.
But going only after the people who are purchasing the guns illegally is only part of the story.
Going after people who illegally shoot other people is only part of the story.
Well after all, we are dealing with people who think of terms of “gun deaths” and make no moral distinction between an innocent woman shooting a would-be rapist or the same criminal shooting that woman.
WHYCOME JEWSERVATIVE CUCK SHAPIRO NO APPRECIATE HIS FANS GETTING JAMES GUNN FIRED FOR DISAGREEING WITH HIM?!
Honest question to cinephiles out there: can you tell that a director had a hand in a movie? If you went in blind not knowing, could you tell? I love GotG, so it seems like a bummer that Gunn was fired from the sequel, especially on such a flimsy pretext. It helps that I don’t care what anyone in Hollywood has to say about anything outside their craft, and their craft should speak for itself.
In fact, I hope my favorite actors and writers (and I guess directors and producers, although I have no idea what they really do) are thoroughgoing anti-Trump, conservative-bashing partisans. That’s the coin of the real, so if spouting off some horseshit groupthink DNC messaging on Twitter keeps them working, I’m fine with it.
+m
It’s going on a lot with comics lately. I could care less if the writers I like are complete jackoffs on twitters politically – but if they start blocking folks who support them or try to promote stuff just because they disagree politically it’s a different story.
I hear you. Between Moore and Morrison and even Ellis when he gets his yokel on, I wouldn’t be able to read a damn thing.
I mean, when the lower bound for such things isn’t merely “I disagree with his policy on x because y,” but has risen to “ASSASSINATE HIM BECAUSE HE SAID MEAN THINGS” —as a baseline response expected by the goodthinkful arbiters of lefty media—it makes it difficult to take their commentary seriously. Like toddlers throwing tantrums, it’s mildly annoying but doesn’t call for intellectual engagement. So what do I care if Damon is a derpy watermelon lefty in his spare time? I love the hell out of Bourne.
I confess I can’t separate the artist from his views if they’re shoved in my face constantly. I try to keep my distance, but I wish they’d shut up and sing so I, the consumer, don’t have to work that hard.
I’m kinda with you on that. When someone’s particularly obnoxious about other people’s beliefs I can’t not think of that when I encounter their work. Stephen King is like that for me. I don’t care that he doesn’t like guns or Republicans or whatever, but he’s so venomous about the people he disagrees with I can’t see past that when I read his books.
King’s work was very formative for me as a writer, so he in particular makes me ill when he gets like that. If I could avoid it, no problem, but he gets RTd into my stream constantly by both sides.
I’m torn on King because reading King as a kid got me into horror in a big way. There are still a few books of his that I really like. But, for years horror writing began and ended with Stephen King for me, with a dash of Clive Barker. It wasn’t until my early 30s that I started to find other authors, which also got me into doing some writing of my own, which in turn exposed me to the very strange subculture of horror writers. I’ve read (and met) authors who don’t get nearly the same billing as King who are, in my opinion, much, much better. King sucks so much air out of the room it’s hard for other authors to get noticed by the mainstream. King accidentally sends his grocery list to a publisher and he makes the NYT bestseller list, while a bunch of other authors are writing really good, really innovative stuff (and considered to have “made it”) and they’re still working day jobs.
So on the one hand, I wouldn’t have gotten into horror without being exposed to King at a young age. On the other hand, if you look at a shelf in a bookstore (if you can find those anymore) you’ll see a ton of Stephen King’s stuff with a dash of Dean Koontz, and well-established authors like Ramsey Campbell or Robert Aickman, or newer authors like Laird Barron, Jon Padgett, or John Langan are kind of crammed in the corners, if they’re even there.
I’m not up on the horror genre, but that doesn’t surprise me in the least. I stopped reading King after a teenage glom (no reason; I just never read an author again after I’ve glommed his backlist), so I don’t know if his quality suffered with his prolific output. Did it?
Mercedes Yardley and Todd Keisling are two friends of mine (horror) whose work I really like.
My only exception is Roseanne because I find her so consistently inconsistent, she’s more entertaining to me as a real person than her character.
Yes. Watch That Lady in Ermine, which was supposed to be directed by Ernst Lubitsch except that he died a couple of days into production. Directing duties were handed to… Otto Preminger, who is completely the wrong type of director for this. The result is a movie that looks like something is horribly out of place.
Another good example is Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Carole Lombard’s 1941 screwball comedy. She was able to convince… Alfred Hitchcock to direct, and there are some very Hitchcockian shots in it.
Fake news. Mr and Mrs Smith starred Angelina Jolie (swoon) and Brad Pitt
Wait until you learn Ronald Reagan was the star of Million Dollar Baby.
Gunn’s problem was he very vocally and on multiple occasions has said that anybody who said “X” should be punished and he was okay with that person being fired, even if the comment was in the past.
And then he got caught saying worse than “X”.
Yeah and some of the more National Topsider brand conservatives were on their usual “Don’t stoop to their level” bullshit. One of them said
https://twitter.com/hradzka/status/1020394012656537600?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1020394012656537600&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Face.mu.nu%2F
As though James Gunn was the first person in history to be fired for offensive old tweets.
I want the same rules applied to everyone, across the board.
Most top level directors, yes. But a new director can copy someone else’s style. Most directors have techniques they use over and over that shape their films. David Fincher likes slow moving precise shots. Michael Bay likes kinetic shakey shots. Sam Raimi likes to use a few angled shots. JJ Ambrams blasts light all over the set. Aside from that there are certain ways directors approach actors and story that makes a film by them unique to the way anyone one else would have shot it.
I don’t know if I’d trust Tarantino to make a standard rom-com, but I would certainly line up at midnight to see any rom-com he DID make.
Having him make a Star Trek movie makes no sense to me either. But they haven’t made any good choices for that franchise in quite a while.
Not directed by, but True Romance was written by him.
How did I miss that?! I was on a movie-going marathon in the 90s.
It’s a pretty lack definition of Rom-Com that includes True Romance. You may as well include The Getaway (Peckinpah’s not the God-awful mid 90’s remake)
Lax not lack, day drinking….shrug.
It’s got romance and comedy in it, even Wiki agrees: “a romantic black comedy crime film”.
Still haven’t seen it, but “Jackie Brown” was a good romantic comedy. Tarantino needs to try adapting some more Elmore Leonard.
I’m not knocking the film, it’s top notch, and I’m no expert, but to qualify as a Rom-com common sense tells us that the romance should be a driving force behind the movie not just a word in the title. The leads fall in love before the opening credits are finished for Christs’ sake, by the second act it’s a heist/crime action comedy. But you just keep pushing this BS, next you’ll be swearing that Die Hard is an X-mas movie, that Jaws isn’t a cinematic masterpiece, that Zardoz is worth a piss, and that a better western that Once upon a Time in the West has ever been made.
Unforgiven.
That is a very close second, it is much more quotable, and does some nice trope tweaking, but the opening 15 minutes of OUATITW is a better western than the entirety of Unforgiven, if only for Jack Elam’s lazy eye.
Bonus points for Bronson and putting Peter Fonda in as a villain.
So looking up who the third gunman was, I knew Jack Elam and Woody Strode but I always just thought of the other guy as a second rate Klaus Kinski, learned this depressing bit of movie trivia.
It has. It’s called Once Upon A Time in America and China with Jet Li and Rosamund Kwan.
I can download a gun?
Yes.
Yes you can.
It’s like people don’t know about the replicator bay in their PC’s or something.
I’m watching Wild Wild Country right now. If there was ever any doubt that I’m not a radical individualist, let me clear it up now. Radical individualism is just as susceptible to corruption as totalitarianism.
Now that I started using podcasts on itunes with gbob, I finally started listening to NRO/Jonah Goldberg’s “The Remnant” podcast as well – after seeing him promote it for a long time. This week with Charles W. Cooke is an excellent discussion – with Charlie taking a lot more libertarian positions on drugs, guns, etc where Goldberg is clearly more traditionally conservative, but still far more common sense than most folks we see. Highly recommended.
Queued up for later. I have to dig out a line of orangeburg and hopefully not sink my shovel halfway through it.
when the lower bound for such things isn’t merely “I disagree with his policy on x because y,” but has risen to “ASSASSINATE HIM BECAUSE HE SAID MEAN THINGS”
Going back to what I said the other day: “coexistence” in the sense of merely ignoring other people’s beliefs in a spirit of disengaged neutrality is not an option. Not in the least. They want to coerce you/me/everyone into active embrace celebration of their views. Woe betide the wrongthinkers, including those who have the monstrous audacity to just not care.
“coexistence” in the sense of merely ignoring other people’s beliefs in a spirit of disengaged neutrality is not an option. Not in the least. They want to coerce you/me/everyone into active embrace celebration of their views.
Some around here use the term tribalism as a pejorative. I embrace it. People with sincerely held, but opposing, beliefs have a very hard time living with one another. One dominates the other, or there is a constant hostility between the sects.
Balderdash and poppycock. In a vast majority of American communities, every minute that passes falsifies that statement.
Your new garments are simply exquisite, Your Excellency
There is a lot of stupidity in that video.
I cannot remember which Glib(s) works at a steel mill, but I love steel mills (one of my pet interests like Pripyat, Hoteps, heavy-haul trains, and ancient astronaut theorists). I toured Armco steel when I was 8ish when they had a few tram tours, then Geneva Steel when I was working as a “journalist” in Provo, Utah (personal tour by the CEO, akshually). One of my characters is a metallurgist who owns a steel mill in Bethlehem (suspend your disbelief re location, pals).
So. If I may request a topic, could someone do a writeup or six on the inside baseball of steel production? Hot casting, cold-rolling, stuff like that?
Well, by way of being lazy and phoning it in, this is my old mill in Carrollton, KY.
But I worked in the environmental department- someone like Lachowsky or anyone else could likely offer more insight.
This site could help, too: https://steeluniversity.org/ I like playing the simulators and trying to make my own batch of stainless. Still haven’t managed to not fuck it up, either.
Lachowsky.
One of my characters is a metallurgist who owns a steel mill in Bethlehem (suspend your disbelief re location, pals).
Is he doing time filling out forms standing in line?
Im sure he’s an Innocent Man, tho
You are righter than you know.
A Mormon bishop.
An ex-prostitute.
I stopped reading there, and went to scrounge $4.99.
Pssst: got a starred review in Publisher’s Weekly.
Thank you and enjoy!
+1 my ringtone
He WAS till he saw the way the wind blew (as a teenager) and got out and went to college.
Poor example of keeping the faith.
But he married an uptown girl.
If only he could just tell her about it.
He actually did start that fire.
You need fire of some ilk to melt steel. But it seems like it can be easy money.
“You need fire of some ilk to melt steel. But it seems like it can be easy money.”
The only job I ever quit. I was working in a steel mill, or maybe it was just a foundry and iron, too long ago, but my supervisor was telling me to be careful because just that morning a guy got burnt up near an open vat of molten metal. I just walked out, fuck that shit.
Results of Hot Casting:
http://morningmoss.com/hot-girls-fishing/
I know fuck all about steal, but glad I could help.
What do you know about theft?
I knew that cheap shot was coming. Stealing the low hanging fruit and all.
No one has noticed Lobster Girl?
You put Q to shame.
You’re thinking of Lach.
MikeS is also a good resource on this stuff. He and Lachowsky keep promising an end-to-end series from scrap metal to finished goods.
I’m not who you were referring to but I work worked at American Steel in Alliance Ohio. It mainly made truck castings for trains. The parts that there wheels sit under and also the the couplers for trains. The foundry was just one step out of then 1900’s. It still had the stalls where the mules used to be kept.
“This is my review of New Belgium The Hemperor”
Dude, I’m very sorry you had to experience that. My review would be ‘If you like drinking moldy fermented rope, then you’ll like it’. That is seriously the worst fucking swill I have ever tried. Hopefully you got to eat lots of Latina poon down there to get that nasty taste out of your mouth. I mean that’s probably the only reason I would try it again, if I get the follow up. Blecch, moldy rope swill!
How about just not drinking beer period.
What even in the fuck is wrong with you?
I’ve said quite a few times I’m a freak who doesn’t like carbonated beverages.
(I also don’t like the smell of beer.)
Beer is elixir of the gods.
(I also don’t like the smell of beer.)
You should definitely try this one since it doesnt smell like beer at all!
Nah, not to get into specifics. It was mostly a long weekend of binge drinking.
NTTAWWT.
I’m coming to appreciate weekend sobriety. Did you know it’s an excellent opportunity to catch up on the sleep you missed due to weeknight insomnia and early mornings? But not if you get trashed.
I have to start getting into that. Good idea, no doubt.
LOL
That photo is priceless
you can almost hear the hipster in sandals going, “like, i took this one class on economics, and like, dude, we can totally just raise taxes to like 90% and feed the poor, you know?”
Once again, the total projection of the left is downright humorous. Just like racists they see behind every conservative which don’t actually exist while their own ranks are filled with virulent racists and racist ideology, the totalitarianism they try to smear conservatives with is a fundamental part of the mainstream left. Bash a fasc? Yeah, go ahead and pop your own face.
Yet, rather than call out these immoral discredited lunatics for their muderous ideology that is dripping with the blood of millions, their fellow travelers in the media whitewash and dawn over these imbeciles.
Nice write-up, Sharpie! As usual, I had to go back and read the entire thing AFTER the comments.
Between this article, and the story about the Mormon getting things ‘restructured’, I’m beside myself.
And yeah, I wont be tasting hemp beer. It was enough of a struggle to pass up the $1.10/double-deuce of EARFquake earlier at Kroger.
Nice. I am currently searching for Labatt Blue…
We have it here. I like Moosehead and Molson Golden better. The Molson on tap in Canuckistan is really good.
ex-Mrs Tres Cool was into theater- she and her friends used to make the annual pilgrimage to Stratford-On-Avon, ON for that Shakespeare festival. On one trip I instructed her to bring home a couple cases of Molson XXX since in those days it was unavailable in Ohio.
Now, Im a pretty solid beer drinker, daily knocking back more than is likely healthy, or advised by the medical profession. But after 6 of those things? I was out of my proverbial tree.
They didn’t have it at Bevmo ( I had to settle for A Lobotomy Bock and some North Coast Rasputin Stouts,
1st World problems indeed.
You didn’t miss much.
NBC is showing women’s rugby. Good thing I was already in my bunk.
“women’s rugby”
oh my.
i imagine there are some very nice legs, and unfortunate faces
(totally am going to go check)
Vids?
Just going to mention it, a little follow up. We really like our Fire TV. My wife’s Globo, plus History, Travel, TNT, AMC, several other movie channels, and my Curiosity Stream, about $45 a month compared to $120 a month for 300 channels of Comcast garbage. The little remote is the best ever. Haven’t tried the voice yet, but looks good.
The voice command works great for me. Not so great for OMWC with his thick Balmer accent.
Chrys’ hon, Iyawnt godda Balamer ayksent.
Jugsy brought one over, and I immediately said “get that surveillance device out of my P̶a̶l̶a̶t̶i̶a̶l̶ ̶2̶X̶-̶W̶i̶d̶e̶ House!”
I think she sold it on Craigslist.
If you mean the little TV box, just remember to unplug it when not in use.
I’d never have an Alexa or equivalent.
If you mean an actual “smart” TV, I am trying to never have one of those, either.
Can you just not connect your smart TV to the Internet?
We have a retarded TV.
Just like it’s owner.
Its owner, in contrast to you, knows how to punctuate possessives.
Ow! Someone call the burn unit!
Idiot savant.
We’ve got one. We’ve been an Internet-only house for about two years now. We’ve got the gig speed package from Fios (about $80) and then spend maybe another $40 on stuff like Hulu, Netflix, and TCM’s subscription service, down from like $250 a month. The only sticking point is that we don’t get stuff for the DC market any more because somebody decided that Annapolis is in the Baltimore local market, so it’s all stupid Ravens games instead of the stupid Redskins games the wife and I would prefer.
We have the Fire TV and the Fire TV Stick, and the latter is damned handy when we travel.
A couple weeks ago my Kroger had 21-25 count shrimps on sale for $4.77/lb. Never one to pass up a sale, I loaded up.
Since “Jugsy” the girlfriend swears she’s never had etouffee before, it should be ready in about an hour. I hate prep, so it better be worth my effort, IYKWIMAITTYD
SHAZAM! trailer is out, there is something just off about his look, can’t quite place it.
He looks like some combo of adam sandler+tim allen
shitty costume, too campy presentation, trying to go for Deadpool type ‘hero comedy’ and failing.
The actor is Zachary Levi (liked him in the TV show Chuck and a few other things). Looks like they went with a “Big” type transformation with the mind of the kid in the body of a superhero. Not sure that will work.
That’s how the comic has been written from the New 52 reboot to the unboot and onwards. I don’t mind it. It helps differentiate Capt. Marvel/Shazam from Superman (Chinese or otherwise).
Watching it again I think I honed in on what’s really bothering me though, the muscle suit has weird proportions and combined with his weak chin it makes his head look small.
Yes, and pretty much every incarnation of Batson I’ve seen has a giant jughead.
And of course they’re going to cowardly retcon Black Adam from an Arab superterrorist to a non-brown super domestic terrorist or something.
The Rock is Black Adam, they announced that like 5 years ago and haven’t done anything with him yet.
Do you smell what Teth-Adam is cooking?
That looks pretty dumb. I’m not really a DC guy to the extent that I care about comics, but when it comes to comic book movies I’m firmly in the Marvel camp. After the Dark Knight Batman movies all the DC movies have fallen pretty flat for me, with the exception of Wonder Woman. Not a damn thing was flat there, friends.
She’s gorgeous, but the movie wasn’t anything great.
Any movie with Gal Godot in skimpy outfits is a GREAT movie.
Best. Beer review. Ever!
Ha ha ha ha ha! Suck it!
You missed a “ha”.
Better?
You has teh magic.
“Ever been on a bad trip in Mexico?”
Why yes, I have. Let’s see, there was alot of cocaine, ketamine, weed, benzadrine,, tequila and beer, a couple of hookers. We were asked by a bartender to pretend we were the owners of the little hole in the wall bar in TJ, and to throw some gringos who were acting stupid out of the bar. We went to an all night dance club in the basement of a building that started to turn into an orgy before we left. Alot more cocaine. Bar hopping in Ensenada for two days. More girls, this time not hookers, and their friend who had the hookup at all the bars. Weed. Tequila. Cocaine. Small orgy. Ensenada PD. Robbed at gunpoint.
That’s when things really started to get rough.
Pics?
Lemme go get my crayons, and I’ll draw a few for ya’.
*writes “go to Mexico with egould” on bucket list
Now I wanna know about your best trip to Mexico.
Aquaman trailer. DC seems to have taken all the wrong lessons from the complaints from their first two DCEU films. Par for the course.
Outrageous that they didn’t cast an Atlantean
Piscean Appropriation I tells YA!
If they needed an Atlantean, I doubt Matt Citron is too busy these days.
I mean…I like Jason Momoa, but I’m leery of DC movies since the most recent several have kind of stunk.
People are tired of over the top villians beaten up by Superman and generally hate Ben Afleck. Other than Gal Gadot, what else do they have?
Anyone in the mood for some shrimp etouffee better get here quick. Its going fast.
Damn that looks good.
Thanks. It wasnt my best effort, so I call it so-so. But since Jugsy is averse to crawdads for the sole reason of “they’re icky!”, I used a different recipe than usual (suck my ass, Chef John. You’re mediocre at best), which I wont do again.
Looks good. We’re doing a ribeye and shrimp. I’m making a slaw; shredded cabbage and carrots, sliced green onions, chopped cornichon, cotija cheese dressed in a beer vinaigrette.
My dream job is being in charge of cleaning egould’s fridge.
We’re in full on eating out of the garden mode. Last night was grilled Wagyu Coulotte steaks with green beans, onions, garlic and bacon. Made the bacon and grew everything else.
Tonight is pesto pasta topped with grilled chicken that’s currently sitting in fresh herbs, garlic and olive oil.
Out of the garden?
Do you start your Wagyu from seed, or buy the starter sets?
I buy the sets. Wagyu seeds are difficult to germinate.
Difficult, sure. But if that cow winks at you— it’s on! Bowchickawow…
Moo means moo?
Moo so horny?
First you plant the seeds, then you pick the cows, and turn them into pants.
Mmmm, I have some great pappardelle, and was thinking cacio e pepe, but your mention of pesto (and the lushness of our basil plants) has me rethinking that.
I make big batches of pesto. What doesn’t get used for dinner goes into ice cube trays and frozen.
Titties.
http://archive.is/cnFNy
2, 14, 29.
How did #7 sneak in there?
And #9?
That’s the second time 15 has ruined it for me.
Allow me to help you with that.
https://i.thechive.com/submission/5b362e3e4c46c773c96e2ae3
From that AP thing about Democratic Socialism:
There is little distinction made between the terms “democratic socialism” and “socialism” in the group’s literature. While Ringelstein and other DSA-backed candidates promote a “big-tent” philosophy, the group’s constitution describes its members as socialists who “reject an economic order based on private profit” and “share a vision of a humane social order based on popular control of resources and production, economic planning, equitable distribution, feminism, racial equality and non-oppressive relationships.”
Members during public meetings often refer to each other “comrades,” wear clothing featuring socialist symbols like the rose and promote authors such as Karl Marx.
“You know- morons.”
At what point are beatings a violation of the NAP?
“A WOMAN was mauled “like a ragdoll” by a lion after she went into its enclosure to pose for a photograph.
Olga Solomina, 46, visited the Taygan Safari Park in Crimea, Ukraine, and wanted a picture with the lion.
She knelt down next to the animal but it suddenly grabbed her arm and dragged her away after she stroked its mane.
It launched a vicious attack and Olga was just inches from death but was luckily saved by zoo director Oleg Zubkov.
But she now claims Mr Zubkov refused to let her call an ambulance and had her treated by the zoo vet, giving her cognac instead of an anaesthetic and saying the attack happened because she was drunk.”
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6834734/moment-safari-park-visitor-poses-with-a-lion-just-moments-before-it-mauled-her-like-a-rag-doll/
Ya know…..wild animals gonna wild.
Sadly, Im sure Olga thought “just a big kittah”.
“Here, hold my cognac.”
“Desperate last words heard by mother who lost NINE relatives – including her husband and three kids – aboard Missouri duck boat, as it’s claimed the captain told passengers NOT to wear life jackets”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5978041/Grab-babies-Desperate-final-words-duck-boat-tragedy-victims-drowned.html
“Gal Gadot turns heads in purple mini dress at Comic-Con to talk Wonder Woman 1984 with Chris Pine”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5978165/Gal-Gadot-turns-heads-purple-mini-dress-Comic-talk-Wonder-Woman-1984-Chris-Pine.html
Ugly knees. But I doubt any other of you perverts noticed them.
She has a very pretty face.
I have business this Thursday in San Diego. I’m so glad to know that Comic-Con will be long over by then.
Really? I thought a psychiatrist would find a “target rich environment”.
I’m going to say this about the big ol’ titty obsession: they’re not nearly as much fun to look at when they’re old and floppy`and saggy. When she’s lying on her back and her nipples are in her armpits, it’s just not that sexy.
Sorry, but somebody had to say it.
+1 Once I started dating athletic, assertive women, big tits were no longer required.
And you haven’t upgraded by then just why exactly?
Sorry that you are unhappy with your relationship – that sucks. Happy to see that you are able to appropriately thread for issues that matter.
The daughter in law brought me a t-shirt back from Asia: Pasteur Street Brewing Saigon. I understand it is an American brewery in Saigon and Hanoi that uses some Vietnamese ingredients. Supposedly they do some export, so I wonder if any of you have sampled it and what did you think?
Is that the one with Jane Fonda on the label?
Who Said do Omaha Beach? Do know how big that is? I’m doing a very small slice, and it still is going to take 24″x 48″ in 1/72 scale. I’m gathering the Machines right now, Found some 3d printed Bunker systems for the Atlantic wall, and Dragons Teeth. I need to create a semi submerged defensive system, just like they did, but still let it show in the “water” So My landing Craft have something to Fuck with getting in. I’m creating an album as usual, it takes a long time, if there is interest, I can do Progress reports for Y’all, I’m doing them anyway….
example
https://photos.app.goo.gl/rcmAmUui73tbvaHk7
Omaha?
Well they’ll know what to do with them pigs out there fersure fersure…
Wasn’t expecting ole C.W. Mine is more landing craft getting Mauled by the Germans while trying gain a Beach head, nothing complex like a Song…………….
SUP TRES!
That was me. Glad to hear you’re doing a vignette. I can hardly wait to see it.
Apparently some website I had an account on ages ago got hacked. I just got an email stating that if I don’t send them $1000 in Bitcoins, they’re going to email all 6, yes 6!, of my contacts with a video of me yanking it that they got from my webcam.
Although the password is not in my current files (which date back ten years), it seems familiar. Too bad for them I have had tape over my webcam for years and they don’t realize I have 1300 contacts.
Ah, it’s probably an old LinkedIn password.
Slick little spearphish operation.
https://krypt3ia.wordpress.com/2018/07/16/extortion-phish-your-password-is-xxxx/
The way I look at it, Mama Tres is dead, Pater Tres is nearly 80, and Im not running for public office. If there’s a woman in SW Ohio that HASN’T seen my dick by now, I want her contact info.
Just in case I DO run for some elected office.
We still don’t want to see your dick, thank you very much.
Meh…if there was a video of it going in and out of Gal Gadot, I’d probably watch it.
Context.
It doesnt want to see you, either.
We still don’t want to see your dick, thank you very much.
That kind of censorship’s gonna cost you, son.
All of whom have already received videos of you yanking it…
Oh well. That’s going to be their problem.
Most have already politely requested you stop, but that’s the risk they take when they’re friends with you. You’re a wildcard, man, you can’t be constrained by their “rules”.
#Metoo
I don’t even have a webcam (or any other kind of cam) hooked up to my ‘puter. It was an amusing e-mail to read. Effin’ amateurs.
I got one at work, an email that can in no way be associated with a porn site.
I am enjoying the Rugby Sevens world cup they’re running on NBC et al. 7 vs. 7, 7 minute halves, 2 minute half-time – things really roll along.
USA v ENG quarter final at 7:38 Eastern. Watch the Eagles give those Limeys what for.
OK, so what was the result?
Waiting till early afternoon was a mistake. 103 degrees and pouring sweat faster than I could rehydrate, hacking through tree roots and hoisting the chipping hammer to loosen up the clay soil… on an empty stomach because I wasn’t feeling hungry. And of course I punctured the orangeburg. I don’t get queasy about sewer water but once that started bubbling up the rest of it cascaded and now I have a pounding headache, back in the AC, chewing a McDouble.
OrangeBurg? you are. Fucked It can’t be peraired and will only get worse until You replace it, Fucking Tarred Asbestos Corrugated Cardboard, for a sewer, WTF?
It was perforated by tree roots, I was just tasked with digging it out. Dunno what dad’s going to do about it. And yeah, it seems like a ridiculous thing to put in the ground.
He says he’s going to cut out the section and clamp a length of ABS in its place.
I had to dig up the sewer line for my parents once. Don’t want to do it again.
Eat a lot of corn, do they?
That stuff was very popular through the end of the 1950s. Our first house had a sewer line made out of it — people at the time didn’t realize that tar-impregnated cardboard was actually very attractive to entire phyla of micro-organisms which feasted on the stuff until it fell apart. Gimme modern plastics anyday.
Interesting, saw CS post about it earlier and finally had to look it up. I had never heard of Orangeburg till today. (I’ve worked on some construction sites, but far more recent, and when they talk about not digging in the NC/VA area, I’ve never seen that term).
See? You could have been drinking.
“Orangeburg”. Learn something new around here everyday.
Fun article MS.
??
Ha ha ha ha ha! Suck it!
There is no cannibalism in the Royal Navy!
https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2018/feb/26/lawsuit-100000-noncitizens-registered-vote-pa/
Shopping today at Trader Joes, I found a jar of whiskey pickles (not a euphemism) from Brooklyn Brine Company. Wow. If you see them, pick up a jar. Fucking delicious.
I have no problem brining my own whiskey pickle.
Sounds delish.
“Possible Hostage Situation Reported at Silver Lake Trader Joe’s Store: LAPD”
https://ktla.com/2018/07/21/possible-hostage-situation-reported-at-silver-lake-trader-joes-store-lapd/amp/
Hmmm…here I had a m&p9c while shopping. I doubt I’ll be “taken hostage” while buying groceries.
“Liberals are sending care packages to female Democratic senators to oppose Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh, including “pee-proof” underwear to use in their opposition to President Trump’s court pick.
THINX and Icon, the companies behind the “period sex blanket” and absorbent underwear for bladder leaks, sent “endurance packages” to senators Elizabeth Warren (D., Mass.) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D., N.Y.).”
https://freebeacon.com/culture/liberals-send-female-senate-democrats-pee-proof-underwear-oppose-trumps-scotus-pick/
And people claim these are strong, tough women.
There’s a name I haven’t seen in a bit – it wasn’t due to their products:
… Agrawal’s transgressions include speaking openly at work about “the size and shape of her employees’ breasts, an employee’s nipple piercings, her own sexual exploits, her desire to experiment with polyamory, her interest in entering a sexual relationship with one of her employees, and the exact means by which she was brought to female ejaculation.”
Malone writes that the ex-CEO also “touched an employee’s breasts and asked her to expose them, routinely changed clothes in front of employees, and conducted meetings via video-conference while in bed, apparently unclothed … At least once, she supposedly FaceTimed into a meeting from the toilet.”
Lyndon Johnson conducted meetings from the toilet, too.
“Keep em using Charmin for the next 100 years!”
I told a Lefty friend about this and some other LBJ antics, including the “this will have the n…… voting Democrat for 200 years”. He immediately went on Snopes and said according to them this is all “unproven “.
It is a matter of published fact that when he was a schoolteacher in Texas, he beat the living shit out of Latino kids for speaking Spanish on school grounds, as was the policy then.
Some gun porn for you Tulpas
https://smile.amazon.com/photos/share/yQ3VV0cAEa74gL0nRDnjlrMoDTzkJqh52fJ6lEs55TS
Folded.
https://smile.amazon.com/photos/share/R0ME7R4C2Ma0vZDA8kdPwiU6eWMFhO2XsBtYyOU3xuV
Pretty sweet. I don’t own an AK. I’ve shot them a couple times and loved them. The first shot I took with one was on a 3″ exploding target offhand standing from about 150′ with iron sights and nailed it. Very satisfying to hear that target pop:).
That’s not an ak. It is a vz2008 (vz58 clone). Piston gas system and 7.62×39 but otherwise totally different.
It’s light, maneuverable, and fun to shoot.
A case study in how media use statistics
https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/waleed-aly-obliterates-malcolm-turnbull-in-report-on-so-called-african-gangs-20180719-p4zsiw.html
I wonder what a remake of Crocidile Dundee would look like today? You call that a knife? Eeeak! Pees pants.
“”According to Victoria’s Crime Statistics Agency, crime has actually dropped 9 per cent in the last year in Victoria,” he said. “Sudanese Victorians make up 0.1 per cent of the population and account for just 1 per cent of all crimes committed last year.””
It’s totally racist that the black criminals have to work ten times as hard.
And what are the priors?
I don’t know, but obviously they need to pass more laws to eliminate the disparity.
His statistics are just as much bullshit. Violent crime would be more telling since tallying jaywalking isn’t the “crime” people are concerned about. Theft and robberies are up. Sudanese immigrants have the highest crime rate of any ethnic group.
This may be the best thing you’ve ever posted.