Sundays suck. You’re just getting into the swing of the weekend and you realize that, shit, it all starts again tomorrow. There isn’t even any football- yet.

Yes, I’m in a shitty mood. Even “Today in History” sucks. John Ball, who is an inspiration to us all for protesting taxes, forever wars, and the unaccountable Deep State, was brutally executed by some asshole king who was young, elegant, and handsome, so therefore totally woke. Christians broke into Jerusalem and slaughtered the Jews, while burning their synagogues to make the city Judenrein. Georgia was readmitted to the US, a major mistake that ended up giving us Jimmy Carter. Twitter was launched, plunging the world’s IQ into the single-digit range. There was seriously nothing good happening. Looking at birthdays, for a moment I got excited when I saw Ian Stewart was on the list, but then found out it wasn’t the mathematician, it was some guy who drove his car around in circles.

Fuck Sunday.

Well, at least I ran across a cute dog and baby pic. It’s still not enough.

And on these depressing notes, here’s some news to chew on:

 

Mencken once observed, “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.” This is one of those times.

The police got a search warrant for the devices, claiming that they contain evidence of “Possession of Cannabis Less Than 20 grams” and “Possession of Drug Paraphernalia”—both of which Montanez already admitted to, which makes it unclear why the cops still want to search the phone to prove the charges.

It was that warrant that brought Montanez to court, where the judge asked him to unlock the phones, which he again refused—or simply couldn’t do because he didn’t remember the passcodes for the devices. Now he’ll spend nearly the next six months in jail for not allowing police to dig through his phones for evidence they don’t seem to need.

 

As stupid as the London “protests” were yesterday, this might even be stupider.

Across the other side of London, a pub in Hammersmith had renamed itself “The Trump Arms” for the presidential visit and was scheduled to hold an event Saturday evening featuring hot dogs, cocktails and other American treats. Decorated with copious amounts of American flags, MAGA caps and a life-size cutout of President Trump, patrons told Fox News they had come out of their way to show support for Trump.

 

On the one hand, we can only be delighted that the single most evil and corrupt member of the Senate has gotten kicked in her wrinkled ass by her own party. But it’s not like the alternative is any better, and if he’s not as blatantly senile, he could even end up being worse.

De León’s campaign has focused on the party’s energized liberal faction. He supports single-payer healthcare, aggressive goals for renewable energy and helped lead the successful effort to raise the state’s minimum wage to $15 an hour. He has criticized Feinstein, known for having moderate tendencies, for being too conciliatory toward Trump, such as when she urged people to have “patience” with the president last year.

Left harder!

 

On the topic of stupidity, I don’t know if I can top this.

When she was about 16, Ms. Ponce decided to undergo hormonal treatment and eventually vaginal plastic surgery, “to remove what for me was a burden and a trauma.” But she said that her message to the teenagers whom she now meets is always that vaginal surgery is a personal choice, and that it is not essential to being a woman.

“There are women with a penis and men with a vagina, because the only key part of being a woman is to be and feel like a woman,” she said.

I suspect that a “woman with a penis” probably doesn’t feel much like a woman, but what the fuck would I know.

 

Did I say that I couldn’t top the previous stupidity? Hold my beer. Vegan beer, that is.

The global workplace startup told employees this week that the company will ban employees from expensing meals that contain red meat, pork or poultry. The company won’t provide meat for events at its 400 locations, either — part of an effort to reduce its environmental footprint.

“New research indicates that avoiding meat is one of the biggest things an individual can do to reduce their personal environmental impact, even more than switching to a hybrid car,” WeWork co-founder Miguel McKelvey said in an email to staffers.

Employees wanting “medical or religious” exceptions can hash those out with a company policy team.

As a lifelong vegetarian, I admit to being embarrassed.

 

Wait, didn’t somebody make a remarkably shitty movie about this?

“The waters are back open this morning. Ocean Rescue will remain on high alert and will continue monitoring the water,” the city said on its Twitter page Saturday — which just happened to be Shark Awareness Day. The city fire department said it received a report of the first incident at 3:35 p.m. ET Friday. Three minutes later, while attending to the first victim, the department received a report of a second biting incident. The city then closed the beaches to swimmers.

 

There’s only one thing that can possibly cheer me up. Yes, indeed, Old Guy Music. I admit that I’m not much on dinosaur tours, but at least this one still had Robert Fripp, even though Greg Lake was unavailable due to being dead. And it’s a pretty enjoyable rework of a classic, capturing the way I feel today. Still, couldn’t they have replaced the three drummers here with one Michael Giles? (trivia: the singer here is Giles’s son in law)