STEVE SMITH FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS OF SEARCHING FOR PEACE

STEVE SMITH FIND AIRBNB!

 

STEVE SMITH THINK HIM HAVE GOOD IDEA HELP WITH CASCADIA INDEPENDENCE! HOW COUNTRIES GET GOOD THOUGHTS? HELP STOP WAR. STEVE SMITH REMEMBER WHEN MUSTACHE PRESIDENT WHO SHOOT THINGS, HIM MEDIATE, END WAR. SEE, STEVE SMITH PRACTICE IMPORTANT WORD…”MEDIATE”. SINCE PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER, HIM FIND CHANCE MEDIATE TOO! SO STEVE SMITH GO EUROPE. MAYBE TAKE TIME VISIT OLD FRIEND STORSJÖODJURET. COUSIN SEA SMITH INTRODUCE. HIM VERY NICE, BUY ROUNDS OF  BRÄNNVIN UNTIL ALL FALL OVER. SINCE NORTH, COULD ALSO GO VISIT SANTA?! STEVE SMITH HAPPY! BEFORE GO, GIVE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE LINKS.

  • STEVE SMITH MAYBE PEACE BREAK OUT ALL OVER? MAYBE NOT. BUT STEVE SMITH STILL TRY HELP. BY HELP, MEAN RAPE BELLIGERENTS. SEE, STEVE SMITH TRY FANCY WORD … “BELLIGERENTS” STEVE SMITH GOOD AT THIS!
  • IS CLEVELAND ON FIRE? STEVE SMITH THINK SAD TIMES FOR TOWN. HIM NOW REMEMBER OLD SONG ABOUT CLEVELAND.
  • STEVE SMITH LEAVE YOU WITH VERY FUNNY VIDEO. SILLY CANADA HOOMAN FEMALE! ANY FUNNY CANADANIAN GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE KNOW HER?

 

LIKE STEVE SMITH DIPLOMAT PORTRAIT?

 

BONUS LINK – FIND SPAWN OF SEA SMITH!

Comments

259 responses to “STEVE SMITH FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS OF SEARCHING FOR PEACE”

  1. DEG

    As for the Norwegian threats: “We can’t speculate in what the Norwegian minister means,” said Inga, whose village has a herd of about 8,000 reindeer.

    They’re going to shoot the reindeer. And hopefully someone gets to eat them. Reindeer is tasty.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      One of the things I liked about Anchorage– reindeer sausage carts on every corner it seems.

    2. topnotchtoledo

      Had reindeer carpaccio in Iceland. Delicious. Still regret not getting a whale steak.

  2. Spudalicious

    Damn. First loser.

  3. DEG


    A pair of alleged credit card thieves were apprehended in a convenience store in Alberta, Canada. When approached by the police, the female member of the duo tried to evade arrest by hiding above the store’s ceiling panels, only to come crashing through to the floor.

    I like how she tries to get away after falling out of the ceiling.

    1. Count Potato

      Longer, with Ode to Joy from Raising Arizona:

      “This is footage from King Street Reddi Mart, a convenience store in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada. The two people in this video were arrested and in the process made a mess of the store and put up one heck of a fight.”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD-Jq_kbPR4

      1. DEG

        Excellent.

        An American cop would have shot the thief.

        1. DEG

          “shot the thief”

          I should have been more specific. The male half of the duo.

  4. Mr Lizard

    I would like to thank all the mammals on I4 that went out of their way to fuck up traffice at 2 in the afternoon

    1. BakedPenguin

      To be fair, they seldom need to have anyone do anything to fuck up traffic on I4. What specifically happened?

      1. Mr Lizard

        10 accidents in the vicinity of exit 55

        1. BakedPenguin

          Huh. I’d have thought that was far enough past the attractions that there wouldn’t be so many crashes. Around I-Drive, I wouldn’t be surprised.

          1. Mr Lizard

            Well I was approaching from the west trying to get to 417 and on to cocoa beach. Also they managed to ram their car into each other at the 417-528 interchange. Overall it was an impressive display of completely fucking up.

    2. Brett L

      A colleague from MI was recently down with her family to do the whole “Grandma retired to Sarasota, taking the kids to Orlando.” She asked me how long it would take to drive from Orlando to Tampa to get to the airport. I said three hours. Apparently, I was dead on. She told me her husband tried to argue it was “only 100 miles”. 100 miles of the worst drivers in the world.

      1. Mr Lizard

        Well that drive can be done in a reasonable time between the hours of 10pm and 5 am…as in you must be crossing the threshold of I-75 by 5am

        Part of it is an indicator of the ‘apparent’ health of the us economy. Back in 2010-2014, I-4 was a nascar track for the privileged few who had excess money to burn on gas.

  5. DEG

    BONUS LINK – FIND SPAWN OF SEA SMITH!

    He has good taste.

  6. DEG

    STEVE SMITH FIND AIRBNB!

    Inspired by Baba Yaga?

    1. Lackadaisical

      My Thoughts exactly.

    2. Tulip

      Damn it

  7. Rhywun

    Night? *looks outside, narrows gaze*

  8. Spudalicious

    LeBron James is a bitch.

  9. STEVE SMITH is back!

    LeBron James can suck a dick.

    1. OneOut

      How do you know ?

      1. I have video.

        1. OneOut

          Is it HD ?

          /asking for a friend

  10. If you need something to occupy yourself while getting drunk, here you go.

    http://archive.is/IQwrY

    1’s elegance belies her deviant desires. You can stare at 2 as long as you want, no one’s judging. 28 and 45 tie for the titty award. 17…. drool…

    1. DEG

      I suspect some photoshop and a few are too young.

      1. Lackadaisical

        29 and 68 are too old for OMWC, but are setting off alarm bells in my head…

        Maybe 77 as well, but maybe I’m just getting old.

    2. Spudalicious

      Many to choose from in that lineup.

    3. Count Potato

      25, 57, 77, 98

    4. Lackadaisical

      I feel like this set came out so strong out of the gate that the rest paled in comparison, though there are a few gems in the later entries as well.

    5. BakedPenguin

      40 & 99 are the same woman.

      Not that that’s a bad thing.

  11. Moronic Canadian credit card thief: would.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Too much ink, but I like the way she just blows off falling through the suspended ceiling & denting the shelving. ‘Hi, how’s it going, just passing through.’ I had to take Advil just watching that happen.

    1. Lackadaisical

      He is right though… >.>;

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Thank you for introducing me to my next wife.

  12. SP

    We’re out of half of the ingredients for every cocktail I was contemplating.

    So, we’re drinking a pretty good improvisation.

    Makes 2

    2 oz Maker’s White
    1 oz peach brandy
    1 oz ginger liqueur
    dash of peach bitters

    Shake on ice, pour over ice in rocks glasses, add 1 oz soda (or to taste).

    1. Vodka straight.

      I’m having an electric lemonade tonight, as I mentioned yesterday.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Oddly, the aroma is very reminiscent of NZ sauvignon blanc. My first reaction was, “Cloudy Bay!”

    3. Nephilium

      I’m trying a new beer now called Backyard Crusher, which is a light lager from a brewery near Canton. I may shift over to tiki drinks. I have a fully stocked bar, pineapple juice, and tiki mugs.

      1. SP

        I’d drink a tiki drink. If I had any of the ingredients. Or mugs.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          We have torches, leftover from the last racist rally we went to.

        2. Nephilium

          Thrown together tiki drink number one: too heavy on rum, and mixed slightly more then will fit in the glass. Next one may get some orgeat and bitters to help balance out the rum.

          1. Nephilium

            Second thrown together tiki drink is much better. Rum is subdued, the orgeat brings a nice depth which is complemented by the bitters. Pineapple, lime, and orange notes coming together nicely. I may have to check if I have any mango or papaya in the freezer…

    4. Lackadaisical

      Having a “Tow Truck” Belgian style tripel ale from Garage brewing… thanks Yusef!

    5. DEG

      Honeydew Hawk from my last trip to Canada. It’s pretty good. A short article on this mead maker.

    6. Not Adahn

      re-tasting the Talisker “Skye.” Now that I have full tasting capabilities, I like it, but not as much as the other Taliskers. It’s different enough that you could pass it off as from another distillery — much more an Islay taste than the others that they make. Very mild and smooth. A bit too mild for my taste.

    7. Spudalicious

      Cocktail pre-dinner, a Pinot that OMWC hates with dinner and now sipping McKenna 10yo bourbon with an Oliva Series V cigar on the patio.

  13. Gustave Lytton

    I’m surprised Steve Smith isn’t out protesting in front of an ICE office to end Trumpführer’s seperation of chupacabra & their offspring. And by protest, mean rape.

  14. Nephilium

    It feels like Cleveland may be on fire… high of 95 degrees today. But I don’t really think any locals were expected LeBron to stick around this time.

    1. Rhywun

      This weekend is going to be brutal. If I didn’t have to make a vodka run tomorrow I’d probably just stay in until Monday morning.

      1. SP

        Liquor delivery.

        Seriously, one of our grocery delivery services here will deliver alcohol. I heart them.

        Heat index this afternoon hit 110.

        1. Rhywun

          Hmph, we don’t have that. The liquor store is across the street, though. I’ll live.

          1. SP

            This is why I have 21 year old + orphans.

          2. Not Adahn

            Isn’t it awkward having orphans that outweigh you?

      2. Nephilium

        Meanwhile, tomorrow the girlfriend and I are heading south. We’ll be in Louisville for a couple days, then on to Nashville. At least it means I don’t have to run the A/C at home.

    2. creech

      What’s Lebron looking for? $100 mil a year?

      1. Viking1865

        I think he’s looking for some actual talent around him more so than money.

  15. A really interesting article about how Klinsmann fucked over US Soccer for years leading up to the embarrassment of not qualifying.

    https://www.theringer.com/2018/6/5/17428184/2018-world-cup-us-soccer-inside-story-jurgen-klinsmann-sunil-gulati-bruce-arena

    I agree with those on here that think Arena was an uninspired retread during qualifying, but I think he was hired into an impossible situation. I think this article establishes Klinsmann as the real boogey man.

    1. I think I read that article a couple of weeks ago. If memory serves it doesn’t discuss top USMNT plays opting in favor of weak MLS play instead of the quality competition in Europe.

      To be fair, Pulisic said in another article that he had an advantage holding a second passport of an EU member: he could go to the academies before he turned 18. Other American players can’t.

    2. OneOut

      The US has had a soccer team for 30 years ?

      Who knew ?

    3. Rhywun

      I’ll have to shelve that for later. Be interesting to see if there are any parallels to Löw’s spectacular mismanagement.

      1. peachy rex

        Coaches and players eventually stop listening to each other. And since national teams are stuck with the same players for years on end, it’s the coach who has to go to keep things from getting stale. Jogi is just the latest example of a guy who should have gotten one cycle followed by a golden parachute.

        1. Tundra

          Players and coaches who lose, you mean. Brady and Belichek despise each other but winning cures all that shit.

          1. Count Potato

            To be fair, does anyone like either of them?

    4. Tundra

      Very interesting, thanks! Not a lot of men in that article. Lots and lots of bitching. And this :

      In Charleston, South Carolina, longtime American soccer executive Kevin Payne watched the defeat alone at a bar. “I felt the same way that I felt when I woke up the morning after Election Day,” he said. “Like my world has been unmoored, and how did it happen?”

      Always gotta go back to that. Pussies.

      1. MUH LEKSHUN!

      2. BakedPenguin

        Well, they had someone they thought they couldn’t lose with, someone who turned out to be grating & annoying, who dismissed and who made enemies of the very people whose support and buy-in they needed to succeed. I’d say it’s a fair analogy.

        1. Tundra

          Huh. You may be on to something…

      3. Rhywun

        Not a lot of men in that article. Lots and lots of bitching.

        Yeah, I’m about halfway through and it’s a lot of “Wah!” even from one or two I have never heard of (Clarence Goodson…?).

  16. Count Potato

    “STEVE SMITH LEAVE YOU WITH VERY FUNNY VIDEO. SILLY CANADA HOOMAN FEMALE!

    BONUS LINK – FIND SPAWN OF SEA SMITH!”

    I’m thinking lesbian sex tape.

  17. So reading comments in a few mainstream lefty outlets the progs have now decided that “Classical Liberal” is code for white supremacist, Nazi, fascist; and let’s be honest, what isn’t code for that to them? I heartily encourage their Nazi euphemistic treadmill, it just further delegitimizes them. Regular, everyday neutrals are getting woke to the truth that any disagreement with the Left automatically makes you a Nazi. Thus, their criticism becomes meaningless.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      John Locke was Hitler’s inspiration, it is known.

    2. Count Potato

      It’s like calling everything “rape”. It dilutes the word. And it’s an offense to the real victims — Holocaust survivors, and the friends and families of those who died.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      If it were just the commenters, it would be one thing, but it also includes the published commentators.

  18. Lachowsky

    I will be working all the way through independence day. Since this evening is my one off for the next week, lachowsky jr and I went to the fireworks store.

    He and i are going to spend the evening blowing shit up. It should be fun.

    1. DEG

      Excellent!

    1. Lackadaisical

      I love his music, but wouldn’t necessarily be surprised… lot of darker themes.

      1. Lachowsky

        I have no idea if there is any validity to the accusation.

        Tool has been my favorite band since I was about 12. Their Opiate album is the real deal.

        1. Nephilium

          Damn… way to make me feel old Lachowsky. First (and last) Tool show I saw was in 1995, on the Undertow tour. Most violent pit I’ve ever been in, there were assholes swinging blades in it.

          1. Rhywun

            I have always liked Tool from afar. Probably safer that way.

          2. Lachowsky

            I saw him in Memphis at the glass pyramid in 2002. I was 15 years old and basically ran away from home for a day to go.

            I got the holy hell beat out of me when I showed up back at home a day and a half later. Totally worth it though.

          3. Nephilium

            Funniest pit I ever saw was at an old Flogging Molly show (before the lead singer got hitched and went on the wagon). For some reason, Andrew W. K. was opening for them. Flogging Molly attracted a lot of the local SHARPs (SkinHeads Against Racial Prejudice), AWK attracted a lot of college frat boys. The pit starts up during AWK, frat boy 1 tries to throw a punch at someone in it, SHARP drops him to the ground. Frat boy 1 looks around confused. Frat boy 2 tries to punch someone, winds up on the ground. This continues for the first song. After that, there were no more punches thrown, and no one else fell to the ground suddenly.

          4. Lachowsky

            Brother zach and I were high as hell on some quality mushrooms at a rob zombie concert back in 2009.

            Someone tried to push zach as he was headed into the port a john.

            They pushed the wrong dude. Zach instinctively turned around and landed a right hook square on the guys jaw.

            He was still laying outside the port a john when zach came out after taking his whiz.

            Also, rob zombie is the best show I’ve ever see. Hands down. Godsmack played after him and it was a let down.

    1. Reminds me of watching “The Miracle of Life” in 8th grade health class.

    2. SP

      Not.Clicking.

      1. Rhywun

        It’s SFW. And totes adorbs.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Be brave.

        1. SP

          Need more liquid courage first.

          1. DEG

            I ran some pornhub searches based on the picture name. Most of the videos were surprisingly normal.

      3. Spudalicious

        You know you want to.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Figures

  19. Not Adahn

    I love that we live in the world where it’s possible to make a living doing this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY2grHU4254

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      I love that we live in a world where people eat ass.

      1. I love that we live in a world where it’s possible to make a living eating ass.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I work for a non-profit.

          1. SP

            Non-profit does not mean non-money.TM

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            True. You just have to spend a lot on capital projects. Like eating Alexis Texas’s ass.

          3. SP

            Not clicking that either!

          4. Count Potato

            Her ass could feed a family of four.

          5. Tres Cool

            That’s not an ass. THIS is an ass.
            Ask me how I know…

            https://postimg.cc/image/9kp70ns4f/

          6. Tres Cool

            Uhhhhh…..

            I meant THIS: https://postimg.cc/image/dng800h6n/

            Not sure what happened there.

          7. I kind of prefer the first one.

          8. Tres Cool

            Garlic/basil potatoes with parmesan. They accompanied the teriyaki-soy sauce marinated pork loin I roasted thusly: https://postimg.cc/image/xbokirklr/

          9. Rhywun

            I kind of prefer the first one.

            #metoo

          10. BakedPenguin

            Tres, the first leads to the second. You were just thinking in time lapse.

      2. Not Adahn

        Most worlds where humans evolved from mammals involve analingus

        1. commodious spittoon

          The anal fixation around these parts is not to my taste.

          1. Nothing wrong with having a different fetish than everybody else.

          2. commodious spittoon

            You never go ass to mouth.

      3. Tastes a little like horse, only gamier.

        …What?

  20. Count Potato

    “Report: Twitter CEO Held Private Meetings With Conservative Leaders To Try To Convince Them Of Having No Bias”

    dailycaller.com/2018/06/28/jack-dorsey-twitter-conservative-leaders/

    1. Rhywun

      “It’s no secret that we are largely left leaning, and we all have biases,” Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey wrote in a note to staff

      Toxic. Environment. I can’t imagine having to deal with all politics, all the time at fucking work. Ugh.

    2. David Duke holds private meetings with Jewish Leaders to try to convince them of not having bias.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Shorter version: Stop making me have to live up to my promises of an open platform.

      Chickenshit asshole

  21. Count Potato

    “Man says he had to pay $10,000 extortion money to save his cat

    FORT MYERS, Fla. — A man told Lee County deputies that an acquaintance threatened to kill his cat if he didn’t give him $10,000, so he did.

    The 70-year-old victim reported the incident to deputies on Monday.

    According to a Lee County Sheriff’s incident report, the victim and two friends are staying at a motel in Immokalee and were approached by the acquaintance at 10:30 am Monday. The man demanded the victim give him $10,000 and said he would kill the victim’s cat if he didn’t go to the bank to get the money.

    The victim says that he was aware the man had a history of strong-armed robbery and was afraid that he would indeed kill his cat.”

    https://www.fox4now.com/news/local-news/man-says-he-had-to-pay-10000-extortion-money-to-save-his-cat

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      The 3rd John Wick sounds lame.

      1. Count Potato

        LOL

        The first one was good, the sequel was awful.

      2. Spoiler: the cat fucks Bridget Moynahan.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Lucky cat

    1. commodious spittoon
      1. R C Dean

        Yeah, SMG has always jiggled my handle.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I see nothing wrong with the second one, other than she would eat my bank account for lunch and move on to greener pastures.

      1. Chafed

        Exactly.

    3. Grumbletarian

      A woman with future crippling back problems?

  22. STEVE – Remember that campaign planning meeting we were supposed to be having today? The one about Supreme Court picks? Where the hell were you?

    And don’t give me that “BY PLANNING MEAN…” excuse again. It’s wearing thin.

    1. Floridaman

      He and I were setting up your political action committee, got a lot of people to donate, just put him and a billionaire in a room, shut the door, and bingo.

      1. CPRM

        BY BINGO MEAN…

      2. Ooohhh. So that’s where that check from the Gates Foundation came from. Amazing what you can do with the right… persuasion.

  23. Spudalicious

    Tom Steyer is no George Soros.

    http://freebeacon.com/politics/steyer-maybe-can-nuclear-war-provide-real-course-correction-trump/

    Favorite quote of the day:

    “The entire country is simmering in a crock pot full of stupid.”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      “I remember 2006,” Steyer said. “What happened is that George W. Bush, he put us in two disastrous wars and we were headed toward the biggest financial disaster since the Great Depression.

      Yeah Tom, all the Democrats were totally on to the fact that the housing market was about to implode. That’s why people like Barney Frank were trying to fix it before it did.

      1. Tres Cool

        When is Steyer going to realize he just isnt Peter Thiel ?

      2. creech

        The trolls on TOS have been asked many times to unveil the plans proposed the Dems in 2006-07 to fix the looming housing market crisis. They never have. It’s always BOOOSH.

        1. Tres Cool

          As Scruffy pointed out, Im sure Barney and his pimp-boyfriend had any knowledge of anything.

    2. Ahem. Some of us aren’t stupid.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Spud is. Very literally.

        1. Spudalicious

          Go fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw, grandpa.

          1. Tres Cool

            +1 Heathers

  24. Tres Cool

    Submitted without comment- Ill just leave THIS here for consideration.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m trying to imagine John Denver singing that.

      1. Tres Cool

        “Take me home, country load” ?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Thanks, I’m going to slip up and sing that verse instead next time I hear it. Wife will be annoyed.

          1. Tres Cool

            I have the same problem when I hear WINGS do “Got To Get You Into My Life”. Once, one of my idiot friends said, when it was playing, ” I wonder if they play this at swingers parties?”. I said, “HUH?” He said, “you know…Got To Get You Into My WIFE”

            Been ruined ever since.

          2. Tres Cool

            Here…maybe THIS helps. Do it Yellowman-style.

      2. Spudalicious

        Burl Ives.

        1. Spudalicious

          Better yet, Slim Whitman.

          1. Tres Cool

            Neil Young

          2. Spudalicious

            Okay, for the win. Simon and Garfunkel.

          3. Tres Cool

            Ill raise you and ‘Ashford & Simpson’

          4. Spudalicious

            Doesn’t have the name cache.

    2. Nephilium

      Why… why did I click that?

    3. AlmightyJB

      Saw title, decided to hit back button. Assuming good idea.

      1. Tres Cool

        Sissy.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I’ll cop.

        2. straffinrun
          1. Count Potato

            That was something.

            Oh, btw, you mentioned something about me doing some editing for you. The easiest way is to see when I’m on here and put it up on pastebin.

          2. straffinrun

            Great. Got something almost finished now. One more week and I’ll bug you for that.

  25. Raven Nation

    This may have come up earlier this week but the new Media Bias Report places Reason on the “skews conservative”/”hyper-conservative” border.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Assuming that they’re not overtly biased themselves, how intelligent do you actually think their employees are? I’m guessing that they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel, and that barrel wasn’t too fresh to begin with.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Reason is clearly far-right wing. Worse than Hitler. Literally genocide.

      1. CPRM

        To be sure.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I’m glad the we can all agree that every injustice that has ever happened and every injustice that ever will happen is the fault of far-right libertarians who are all at fault for Hiter II because for misogynistic reasons they refused the support “Her”.

      2. Lachowsky

        Hell. Reason is socially progressive with a hint of economic sanity. If they are branded right, then right means nothing.

    3. westernsloper

      Everybody/everything not = to or left of Marx skews conservative. I am sure it was covered here but can you believe the love for the 28 year old communist that won a primary in NY? I think everyone to the right of Marx should start calling progressives/Democratic Socialists what they really are and that is Marxists.

      1. Rhywun

        And she will never be called out on it. As far as the MSM media is concerned, she’s just a Democrat who cares even harder than the average Democrat.

        1. westernsloper

          I think they feel guilty for shilling for Herself in 2016 and fucking over Bernie so they are making up for it now.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        28 years old? The Berlin Wall and Soviet Union never existed in her world.

        1. CPRM

          A while ago my sister was host to a foreign exchange student, who was born in East Germany, when I asked her about it she had no clue. They’ve done good sweeping it all under the rug.

  26. westernsloper

    Illegal reindeer crossings and nobody pointed out the need of a wall? A big beautiful Norwegian wall with a big beautiful reindeer door that leads to pens and a socially acceptable humane shot in the head and butchering? Jesus. It’s like you people don’t read the links. Or is it you don’t take that low hanging of fruit? Or is it I only take low hanging fruit? I don’t even eat fruit unless it is on pork what be left from the marinade. Who brought up fruit? Now I am introspecting and I don’t need that. Who else has the next five days off?

    1. CPRM

      No, it’s time we domesticated these beasts for their own good so we can have a chain of Santa Burgers and they will never go extinct; don’t you even libertarian bra?!

      1. westernsloper

        I am still learning the true ways. I don’t even have orphans yet but I have a few on layaway. A few more bags of cans to the recycle center and I can own them out right.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Whoa whoa! Maybe humane claw hammer to the head. Norway is just about to the point of banning all firearms. Semi-autos are currently on the chopping block.

      Once again, Euro politics are hilarious. The so-call rightwing government is the one introducing the ban. All because of that maniac was allowed to rampage without anyone stopping him. Next time it’ll be a knife. Or a car. Or a fertilizer bomb. Or whatever.

      In a 2012 report, a commission tasked with drawing conclusions from the attacks had called for a ban on semi-automatic weapons, one of its 31 recommendations.

      Let me guess. None of the 31 recommendations include allowing ordinary Norwegians to be able to defend themselves from the monsters that will always be among us.

  27. CPRM

    During gbob’s thread on comics the other day I mentioned the web comic Bill and Erik I used to read in the early aughts, a comic like this would fit right at home here on glibs.

    1. straffinrun

      Nice.

    2. Nephilium

      I’m catching up on the older threads and finally reading the comic thread. I’m lucky as hell that this is my local comic shop. I’ve been taking my nephews there for free comic book day for years. They do two parties for it, one at midnight, one at 10:00. The midnight one has beer and desserts handed out, the 10:00 one has tables of toys set up and face painting. For the past several years, they’ve also partnered with a local artist to do a $5 lithograph for FCBD. I’m one of the few who has all of the original releases (even the artist is missing a couple).

    3. westernsloper

      Very good.

  28. straffinrun

    Gotta say it would be interesting to see what a SCOTUS packed with Hillary appointments would do.

    1. CPRM

      Remember the sarlac pit? That was cool! I forgot what I was going to say…

    2. Count Potato

      Well, Japan isn’t far from North Korea. You could just go over and see for yourself.

      1. straffinrun

        Even they aren’t open borders.

        1. westernsloper

          Name one country that is.

          1. Tres Cool

            Somalia?

          2. Rhywun

            No Boarderz!

          3. Tres Cool

            I knew the answer was either “Somalia” or “Hitler”

          4. westernsloper

            Somalia has borders, they are just enforced by Kenya.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        Can’t travel to North Korea on a US passport as of last year. Straff could try midnight walks on the beach but the Norks allegedly are no longer doing those abductions.

          1. westernsloper

            “Draft a will…”…ha!

            But will they separate a mother from her child? I think not, so they are totes better than Trumpinternmentstan.

    3. westernsloper

      It would have been the end of what is left of the constitution if that happened. I personally, in my darker moods, think it is over anyways. I half think the experiment of a representative constitutional republic might have lived its life. Throw in some protectionist populism horse shit and you get burnt toast of a great experiment. Oh well.

      1. Rhywun

        It was all over the minute people were allowed to vote themselves free shit.

        1. westernsloper

          I see you drink the same koolaid. I hate to be so negative, but seriously I think it is over. It might take a decade or two but I think it is hopeless. Ten years ago anyone calling for every other mother fucker in the country to cough up money so some dimwits right to a college degree is paid for in whatever new version of basket weaving is would have been laughed off a stage. Now they get air time and praise on CNN and MSNBC.

          1. creech

            Crikey, JFK would be a “hard right winger” today, without changing his views at all.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            “Bring out your dead!”

            Well done, creech.

  29. CPRM

    Morning shift the next two days while my town holds it’s 4th of July festivities; there goes my chance at finding some choice honeys, or something…

    1. Rhywun

      Geez even my town (New York) is holding out until Wednesday. But my boss is taking Monday and Tuesday off so that’s just as good 🙂

      1. CPRM

        Well, us small town Americana places rely on bringing in the big city folk; so if we can drag in their money while they’re here on vacation, that’s what matters.

  30. Brochettaward

    So, I’m not a Star Wars fan. At all. But I’m fascinated by the epic way they’re fucking up a brand that was already fucked up beyond belief with the prequels by the original creator.

    The entire idea was to copy Marvel and their Universe. But they missed the basic money making scheme Marvel had. They could introduce things familiar in standalone movies, and then weave things back together at convenient points to really fucking cash in.

    Star Wars and Disney? They decided to copy the original trilogy style with standalone movies with plots that you don’t just know how they’ll end because they’re cliche, but standalone movies that you know how they’ll end because they have to end a certain way because they’re about existing characters or plotlines and just fleshing them out a bit.

    Why even bother with a trilogy, outside that they are unoriginal hacks who think boldness is about how many minority or female characters they can cram in awkwardly? You could have had an entire saga of movies about these characters. The second one flirts with the idea of Kylo-Ren going in a different direction other than generic fascist bad guy. Rey wants his dick and could join up with him! And then it ends back in the same spot the movie started, just after doing away with all the plotlines that the first movie supposedly set up.

    They think about these movies in the same way Lucas conceived of them in the fucking ’70’s. I mean, right there, you could have built a 10 movie storyline like Marvel on those two characters and their arc going separate ways and then coming back together. Because, remember, this is actually taking place throughout the entire fucking universe (even though the writers are so shitty that everything basically takes place in one neighborhood where everyone conveniently just runs into one another).

    Marvel succeeded because they were patient, even if incredibly formulaic. DC? No, let’s rush and throw our super team together instantly. Star Wars? Let’s just copy the original and then rehash and fill out little references from previous movies with entire standalone movies! It’s brilliant!

    You could have an entire set of movies about Kylo Ren/Snoke and the First Order. End up in a similar, though more thought out position as the second movie. Explore the relationship between Kylo Ren and Rey, build it up. Even have them work together. Then pull them apart. Or do any number of things.

    This rant? I feel dirty after it. It just baffles me how pathetic Hollywood is. It really is the ultimate cesspool of nepotism and general stupidity. A place where a bunch of people born into money basically fuck up without consequence while passing the mantle down to their children or friends with no real consequence. Politics has more merit involved than Hollywood.

    1. Brochettaward

      I feel dirty just because of how nerdy it is. Because I’m not even a fucking Star Wars fan. But that’s a brand that could have been milked for billions and they fucked it up even worse than Lucas.

      1. westernsloper

        Who’s Kylo Ren?

        1. Rhywun

          +1 it all ended in 1983

        2. Brochettaward

          I’m not sure if you’re asking because you don’t know, or because I used the wrong name for the character.

          1. Brochettaward

            And that makes me just as qualified to write and direct these movies as the people involved. Because it’s like no one outside JJ Abrams ever actually saw the original Star Wars. It’s like, let’s stick to the same trilogy formula but do everything really fucking stupid.

          2. westernsloper

            I was being a smart ass. I do remember the name Ren and I think that was the mousy chic who ate the regenerated green booger loaf in that one movie but I lack the dork cred to be a huge fan and or name the movie. I was not a fan of anything post original trilogy, but as linked below by editor supreme CPRM, I liked his versions.

      2. CPRM

        I would argue the problem with the new movies is they haven’t borrowed from the Star Wars style. They try to set the new movies in the same universe, but lack the film grammar. Film grammar is a technical thing, but it’s really simple. Make it look like the original thing. Story elements and plot points can be swapped out, but keep the presentation the same, it creates a cohesive world. That is one thing the prequels got right, given that they were done by, you know, made by the guy who directed the first one. You can have new stories in this universe, but they have to look like they take place in the universe. The look here is key. Second, the prequels failed a cohesive narrative, but there was a narrative. The new movies have just been a collection of scenes. I could write a whole article on the subject if I ever get drunk enough while I’m mad at Star Wars, but it’s getting to the point I don’t even care. An I’m the guy who has spent a decade re-editing the prequels. There just isn’t any there there in the new movies.

        1. Brochettaward

          How the fuck did the prequels capture the look of the original thing? I’m sure you’ve spent way more time thinking about this than I have, but it’s a shitty bunch of movies with plotholes galore and terrible writing (dialogue and story) shot in front of a blue screen. They’re CGI messes with a completely different feel to them.

          They failed because they were boring and illogical pieces of shit.

          You want them to go more down the Abrams route…just more of the same, with some new faces and settings? And you don’t think people will just get bored of that or realize what’s happening, as they did after Force Awakens?

          1. Nephilium

            It hurts me, but I agree with Brochettaward here. The prequels in no way looked like the originals, unless your only exposure to the originals was the remastered editions. Somehow the entire galaxy went from sleek, clean looking ships to broken down, bailing wire, and spit ships in the course of at most 30 years?

          2. CPRM

            Film grammer isn’t about set design. It’s a bit more complex than that. It isn’t even about shot composition, which is very important and Lucas sucked at. It’s about the overall presentation. Star Wars films aren’t dark and gritty war dramas; they aren’t shot with wobbley camera shots. For the first six films the camera was fixed. It could pan and move in the best moments, but there was none of this in and and out of focus run and gun feel. Like I said, I could spend a whole lot more than one article describing why the new films don’t feel like Star Wars films, but it all comes down to film grammer. I now need to pass out because I have to get up at 4am central.

          3. Nephilium

            Sorry you have to wake up at that ungodly hour. But, I for one would be interested in your write up.

            My complaints are that the prequels looked more like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow then A New Hope, on the visual side. I’ve seen all the new ones but Solo (both the girlfriend and I felt no need to see it), and believe the Last Jedi was garbage.

            I’m also several drinks in at this point, so if you want to discount all of this, feel free.

          4. CPRM

            Yes, the style was off, but the grammar was correct. As Mr. Plinkett said, “you might not have noticed, but your brain did”. I’m not sure how can wrap up 18 years in filmmaking into an article that can make sense to anyone else; but like I said, maybe one day I’ll get drunk enough to try…Now I really need to get to bed.

          5. CPRM

            All I can do is direct you to my edits, posted right here on this sight, to show there were diamonds in that shit sandwich. HERE.

          6. Brochettaward

            That’s like 10 GB’s of crap I have to download to argue my opinion is better. I don’t say this often, but you win.

            I still just think that tying yourself down to a trilogy format when you only bought the property because of Marvel is stupid. Though, not actually having a plan for your tent pole franchise is even worse.

            Rehashing the original trilogy, or doing the Lucas thing of pretending it “rhymes” but is different….that’s just dumb. And it’s showing. You could have taken the nerdiest of books in the Star Wars universe and made a better set of movies. But they tossed those out, too.

            I actually understand Rian Johnson’s pain.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      FWIW, apparently Kathleen Kennedy, the owner of the general shittiness that is Star Wars now, is about to get canned. The only problem is that she has so thoroughly screwed it up that no one wants her job now.

      She managed to divide the audience by making a direct appeal to millennial SJWs with the scripts and her personal comments. In doing so, she created a rift that cannot be sealed without pissing off one side or the other.

      The whole franchise is screwed at this point. They would be better off letting it sit for a decade before trying to resurrect it.

  31. MikeS

    We have thunderstorms in the area and it knocked the power out. Can someone tell me the score of the Twins game?

    1. Raven Nation

      5.1.31 vs. 3.7.25

    2. westernsloper

      The game was cancelled due to rain.

    3. Nephilium

      2 – 2.

    4. straffinrun

      I’m jealous. Sunny and hot AF here. Is it too gay for me to use a parasol? My white privilege sunscreen sucks.

      1. MikeS

        Do it. Parasol FTW. Be sure to get one with some nice lace accents. Honest, this is the thing to do. I would not steer you wrong.

        1. straffinrun

          I have no pride. Used my daughter’s hello kitty umbrella for a week during the rainy season.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            I’d almost buy that it wasn’t because you really love Sanrio, but you can’t walk a block without tripping over a display of 500 yen umbrellas.

          2. straffinrun

            Went to Sanrio Puro land once. Hell on earth. Expected shit like this. Disappointing.

          3. Gustave Lytton

            It sounded pretty bad even if you were a Hello Kitty fan and not expecting a groping machine.

        1. Brochettaward

          (NSFW)

          It’s too late. You just got that one Glib who is working at 12:51 on Friday night fired.

          1. Omelet, eggs, etc.

          2. straffinrun

            *Ahem*

          3. Gustave Lytton

            1:53 on a Saturday afternoon. Better?

          4. straffinrun

            People dancing, people laughing, a man selling rice dreams.

          5. Brochettaward

            We use real/American time around here. I’m going to send a letter to Trump on this to fix it. It’s about time we made our vassels operate on the same time as us. Japs don’t need sun.

          6. MikeS

            Land of the Rising Moon. The best slogan. Classy.

  32. MikeS

    I’m getting drunk thinking happy thoughts about the best damn dog I’ve ever met. RIP Steele

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Geez, I’m sorry MikeS. That’s a great looking pal.

      http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox

      1. MikeS

        Perfect Gustave. I had forgotten about that one. Thanks for that.

      2. westernsloper

        Awesome. He left out the part of some dogs thinking, “hey there’s some water, water is good, I am going swimming, swimming is good. I can lick my balls dry after swimming.”

      3. MikeS

        I hadn’t been at the Oatmeal for a while so I went looking around. Christ, what an asshole. He apparently is quite the liberal fuck. That’s too bad, but good to know before I gave him any money.

      4. Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

        “Frozen” cat shit? Just to let it thaw out? What the hell IS wrong with that guy?

    2. straffinrun

      You let Steele drive?

      1. MikeS

        Only when I am drunk. So…yes.

        1. straffinrun

          Cheers, Bud. *Remembers childhood dog. Golden retriever. Howls*

    3. westernsloper

      RIP Steele. Tough losing a great friend.

  33. Tulip

    Umm, that picture looks like Baba Yaga’s house. I don’t think Steve Smith is going to have a good time.

  34. westernsloper

    I meant to ask this when I first logged on tonight but I didn’t think of it because half crocked, but I have a question for you computer/console gaming dorks. A couple nights ago my X-box uno dropped the wifi connection and wont reconnect. (I only use for streaming movies and the occasional DVD) I tried rebooting the router (which is the fiber router the mofos installed when the installed it all) and I have no idea how to even access the damn thing and the xbox says maybe it is blocking the mac address whatever that is. All my other computers/phones ( all Apple) have no problem. Did the Russians hack my Xbox or router/wifi?

  35. Tulip

    If you are ever in Vancouver, I recommend Wildebeest. Smoked olives! They were awesome.

    1. westernsloper

      Green or black? This sounds interesting.

      1. Tulip

        Green. They said cold smoked for 25 minutes, the vacuum sealed. I need a vacuum sealer

  36. Ownbestenemy

    Had the most awesome conversation with my oldest of my brood. There is hope for the young.

    Son: Fuck people who want to take away my ability to protect myself!
    Me: You have earned yourself your first beer!

    1. Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

      Cheers to you both!

    2. Lackadaisical

      Nice, his first baby steps.

    3. Swearing and drinking at 6?

      “I learned it by watching you, Dad!”