Week 7 – Accountability, Correspondences, and Fearful Symmetry
Words have power. It’s true. Ask any wizard. Or any regulator. Speaking the true name of an object or an idea gives the learned man power over the object or the idea. It forges an instant and powerful connection. And all magic is based on connections. Some other connections are tied to blood or cast-offs from the body like hair and fingernails. That’s why I wash my hands exactly 36 times a day and scrub my body with a stiff brush till it turns red. Some connections are made in the before times. Trick the Gods once, and you’ll be feasting on meat while they are stuck with burned offerings.
This power can be leveraged to work your will on the physical universe as well as the spiritual. But power always comes at a cost. Always. Value can not be created, only traded. To gain this power, you must simultaneously make yourself weak. To gain control of your body, you must turn it over to someone you are already tied to. To become more powerful, you must make yourself weak.
Look, I started reading occult texts the same semester that I that I took Statics and OO Design. The parallels between these things were a serious mind-fuck, but they exposed me to some simple truths. There are connections everywhere, and the symmetry is truly fearful.
Improving health requires making changes. Making changes is hard. To do hard things, you have to make yourself stronger. One way to make yourself stronger is to give up strength.
When I decided to get serious about making life changes for my health, I knew it was going to be hard and that I wasn’t up to the task. So to make myself stronger, I leveraged the most destructive force in my life: Catholic Guilt.
I told my brother about my plan. This is not normal. The relationships in family are mostly a tangle of emotional abuse from my parents and grandparents generation. The story of my generation is each of us breaking out of that web before our parents and aunts and uncles crawl over to drain us. But the link between my brother and me is strong and healthy. The link between my other two siblings is strong and healthy, too.
But even then, I rarely bared my soul to my brother. It’s not.. That’s not how my family operates. But I needed to be stronger, so I made myself weaker in front of my brother. I told him about my fear of dying early, before my kids are out of college or maybe even before they start. I told him about my fear of going under for bariatric surgery and never coming back.
But, of course, that was all part of the bargain. I gave him what was in my soul in exchange for power. After I laid this all out, I said I can’t do this without your help. I need you to stay on my case and take away my freedom to stop dieting. I will email you every weekend with an update on my health, and your job is to hound my ass to the gates of Hell if you don’t get it by Sunday evening. And if he doesn’t, then his kids grow up without an uncle.
See. Simple. I send some of the Catholic Guilt along the correspondence to him, and he sends it back to me when I need it. And I use that power to impose my will on reality.
And it works. The only food I’ve eaten in the last eight months that hasn’t been logged is whatever I ate after the I’m-too-drunk-to-use-a-cell-phone-or-remember-this-burrito part of my brother’s wedding earlier this year. And I have to do this logging, because I am incapable of lying to my brother–on account of the guilt I feel over using Catholic Guilt on him. And I need to be able to honestly tell him every weekend that this week I did everything by the book.
I can’t tell you how to work this magic yourself. True power is always about self exploration. But I can tell you there is a path, if you are willing to give up enough to follow it. It is the Logos, the word you speak to immanentise your own eschaton. Find someone who loves you enough to tell you that you are a fuck up when you are a fuck up. Aim them at the weakest part of you, and tell them that if you fall off the wagon, it is their job to put a pillowcase over your head and drag you back to the straight and narrow path.
Bonus 1 week challenge
Take an inventory of the challenges that are preventing you from reaching one of your health goals. Take an inventory of the people that love you. Tell one of them about your challenges, and ask them for help. Shit, I guess I can tell you how to work this magic yourself.
Comments
117 responses to “GlibFit 2.0, Son of Glibfit – Week 7”
I lost a Good Friend to Bariatric Surgery at 38 years old, be careful Leap…
Good article
/RIP Brian Schuster
A coworker from several jobs back died during bariatric surgery. He was a good guy. He left behind a wife and kids.
This week I intentionally ate a lot of food, targeting eating at maintenance. I gained/lost just about exactly 0 lbs. Went to the gym 3 time. Didn’t feel like shit. So now I need to decide if I do that for another week or if cut down a little next week.
Eh, I should probably do one more week of maintenance, and I’ll take the time to do some more reading on the effect of fasting on metabolism recovery.
Also, lifted heavy things and put them back down again. Developing callouses on my hands, which is cool. Soon I can just use those when I need to grate some parm on my food.
I married into a rather Large Family, and have seen some Big weight losses in BILS and such, but I also saw my SIL Die from Complications from Diabetes, directly related to Obesity,
It’s sad…….
Congrats on the development of your lifting callouses!
And nicely done on targeted maintenance, as well. Besides the physical effects of constantly attempting to deficit, I find I sometimes struggle with the mentality required for it. A couple/few weeks at maintenance seems so crucial to me.
Objective (even if imprecise) measurements and goals are much, much easier for me than intuitive eating or whatever you want to call it. Every single meal was at best a decision and at worst a challenge to figure out and stop at the “right” amount of food, whatever that is supposed to mean.
Logging my food, weighing in every morning, and filing in my TDEE tracking spreadsheet takes all of 5 minutes out of my life. Even if they aren’t perfectly calibrated, they take all the ambiguity and introspection out of it. Its such a huge mental offload, I don’t think I ever want to go back.
Only downside is that my wife is strangely oblivious and recalcitrant about it some times. I offered to trade her one night – I’d clean the toilet she was planning on cleaning (a task she hates but I don’t mint too much) if she would pack my lunch. When I told her that I wanted an ounce of peanut butter and a half an ounce of jelly on my sandwich, her response was “really? You want me to weight your PB and J?” She didn’t get that if that’s not done, then then I’ve got this ear-worm telling me I don’t really know whats in there and I need to go off of my satiety signals instead.
So we compromised and I scrubbed the toilet and made my own lunch.
As a married man I can only say I feel your pain.
I second the congratulations.
Sweet, it’s like diet advice from Tim Powers.
Good job, BTW, of making positive changes in your life.
Your motivation to join a gym.
http://archive.is/OxQt5
2, 9, 23.
JFC, #12. Swimming for the win.
12, 27, 42, 46.
#46 excluded from the orgy because she’s advertising being a vegan.
Mrs. The Other Kevin has a lot more success with her clean eating when she has a trainer or gym buddy to report to. She logs her food, then snaps a photo of the log page and sends it to this person. It doesn’t even matter if the person looks at it, she knows she will have to report that cupcake or bowl of ice cream and she almost always decides it’s not worth the embarrassment.
I don’t have that type of fine-grain accountability, but am practicing with my teammates this summer and I might hear it from them if I don’t show up very often or if I’m not playing well. Nobody is tracking my workouts, but just the idea of not doing well in front of other people will keep me in line.
Like it or not, the fear of embarrassment, looking like a liar, or not fitting in with your group does have a powerful affect on us. Might as well use it for good. I think this is one of those “life hack” things.
I believe it – anecdotally, the value of a personal trainer is almost entirely in having someone to report to.
Accountability is a huge motivator, especially for fitness novices. Much as I loathe the Church of Jesus Glassman of Latter-Day Gains, the one thing CrossFit does exceptionally well (aside from making money for orthopedic surgeons) is keep its adherents accountable, which helps them build the habit pattern that keeps them attending.
My physical therapist told me he got into PT because the boomers were going to give him a lot of business. Now old people pay his bills but Crossfit is going to let him retire early.
Not part of the challenge, but I got back on the wagon this week, or at least grasped a hand rail.
I started a new job this week as the pot business has had some issues. I’ll write an article about the implosion and submit it at some point. anyway, one of the ways you can change your habits is that when you got through a major life change you’re brain is in a state of flux and that change can be leveraged for other things.
So…I’m getting stricter about eating low carb, tracking what I’m eating, and I’ve also been fasting and only eating between Noon and 8PM. I’ll know Monday how well it’s going. Next week I’m on vacation. We’ll see how that goes.
“I started a new job this week as the pot business has had some issues”
Whoa, burying the lede! What deets do you want to share before submitting the article?
My partner made a colossally boneheaded mistake, that has caused the business not to meet the goals I set for revenue and slowed the move from med to rec licence, and (in my opinion) made it a non-viable business long-term because the distance from where we are to profitability is too long for me. It’s limping along, but I’m not involved in the day-to-day business of it. Fortunately, the major actual asset that is appreciating (the acreage) is in mine and my wife’s name and if the company goes under, I’ll still get a decent return.
It’s a little hard to admit the failure, honestly. It’s why I haven’t said much.
That really sucks. I liked your description of where you thought the industry would go and how you were going to get there.
Thanks. It looks like I was fairly accurate in where things are going, though there’s some new wrinkles. CBD is going to probably be bigger than THC really soon. The rushing toward commodity status is speeding up. Though that’s part of the article too.
What’s CBD?
Cannabidiol
Cannabis produces THC (which gets you high) and CBDs which are Cannabidiol. It’s the chemicals in cannabis that have the actual medicinal value particularly for things like seizures, ms, etc. Hemp also produces it. The current farm bill would legalize hemp across the board which would really quickly drive CBD prices down to commodity levels.
Ah. My buddy who died of leukemia took that (Sativex) to help reduce chemo-related nausea. he rated it “not as effective as bong hit”, and felt exhausted all the time.
Yeah. Apparently low levels of THC help with the chemo, at least anecdotally. Sorry about your friend.
CBD is going to probably be bigger than THC really soon.
I have been amazed at the explosion of CBD products on the market just in the last six months or so. The stuff seems to work as kind of a general anxiety/stress modulator; I know of several people who say it has helped them. Placebo effect or actual pharmaceutical effect, who knows (or cares)? Whatever works.
Starting a business is _really_ tough, especially in the early years where a single (and large enough) mistake can really damage the company.
If you start enough business or this one lasts, at least you can learn from the mistakes. /trying to put a positive spin on it!
Thanks. Yeah, I knew intellectually that was the case. And I’m working on another business idea, but one I can do by myself. I have the bug, but this time it’s going to be a side hustle instead of a plunge.
Good luck with the next venture. Partners suck anyway – when my dad was about my age, he took a big risk and bought a company with a partner. The partner ended up fucking him over two years later and dad pretty much lost every nickel he put into that company.
Yeah. Even when the partner isn’t being shady, they can fuck it all up and screw you.
Try to never have a partner if at all possible and never a partner without money in the game.
If there is someone with intellectual talent you need but no more give them a percentage of the profits as an employee if you must to lure them in but no legal equity.
/ self employed/ business owner most all my adult life.
I have started two and this is very true.
The first was moderately successful (It kept me alive for a decade and funded the 2nd business).
The second was a disaster, but I had some fun and learned a hell of a lot if I ever go for #3.
I admire you for taking a shot. I’m much too much of a pussy to ever try to start a business.
Ditto. Especially one where so much of the Leviathan is intentionally out to get you instead of just the norm where it will only incidently crush you with random sweepings of its tail.
Thank you. That’s appreciated. And that’s a great metaphor Leap.
My life is just a series of drunken lurches from one desperate plea for acknowledgement to another. Deep and truth-illuminating metaphors work ok, but based on evidence I should just post collections of young ladies with unresolved father issues.
It couldn’t hurt.
That sucks man. You shouldn’t feel ashamed; you took your shot and that takes stones. Much better than staying on the bench.
Thanks. The wife and the girlfriend both have told me this for the past couple of months while I’ve been dealing with it. I feel good about giving it a shot and learned some good things.
Is this a little joke, or are you poly? If poly, I implore you to write an article about it. I’ve known a few poly couples in my life, but all of them I would categorized as “Horrible people with deep problems that are manifest in dysfunctional relationships, of which their polyamorous relationship is just one example among many.”
I’d love to hear about the life of a poly group that has, you know, more emotional maturity than a 13 year old.
Not a joke. I touched on it in my article about KinkFest a while back. I’m more ethically non-monogamous / relationship anarchist than poly as that carries some connotations that don’t fit our style. But I might do that if people would like to hear about that as well. My wife an I have both been ENM most of our adult lives and throughout our marriage of 12 years. So I think we have a handle on it.
Oh, I think I must have missed that. I’ll have to dig it up.
I’m happily in a very traditional monogamous relationship, but I find the life stories of happy people who made different life choices than me very fascinating. I love hearing immigrants tell their stories. At least those who immigrated on purpose. Hearing a refugee tell their story is important, but not, you know, fun.
You did more then most people ever do, you took the risk. Be proud of that. Best I ever did was try computer consulting on my own for a couple of months back in the early 2000’s. I learned I am not good at cold calling.
It’s seriously difficult to prevent a partner from fucking up. In fact, most of the time, it’s nearly impossible.
I’d love to see your article when you feel up to submitting it.
I’ll probably write it up on the plane tonight when I fly out or at least get started. I think it’ll help me get it out of my system.
Woohoo!
Sorry to hear about your setback CA. I’m looking to forward to reading more about it though.
Hearing about the consolidation in the retail space plus the overwhelming number of pot stores that have opened (and are now starting to close), makes it sound like the longer development time your partner forced is exactly at the wrong point.
Thanks. I think it makes for a good story either way.
We had a pretty narrow window to execute in and it is closed in my opinion.
It’s seriously difficult to prevent a partner from fucking up.
Why are you looking at me?
Technically you fuck down.
My own record is two failed and two successful startups. So you’re due. Tip o’ the yarmulke to you for putting your ass on the line and trying to make a go of a business.
Thank you. That is encouraging to hear. It really was a great experience even if it hasn’t turned out how I wanted and it gave me the bug.
Yes, you got it- it was a cheap (relatively) business course for you. You won’t make the same mistake again.
Oh I learned more in 9 months then 2 years of my MBA. I’m sure I will find other new and exciting mistakes to make the next one. 🙂
Reminds me that during my job interview here, I told the CEO “I can’t tell you I’ll never make a mistake. But I think they will be new and exciting mistakes, because I rarely make the same mistake twice.”
I learned a few years ago that during her confidential end-of-the-year wrap-up with the Board, she identified hiring me as the biggest risk she took all year.
Did she mean risk like making an investment with the potential for a big pay-off, or risk like hiring a hooker who’s cool with bare back?
Probably more the latter. Hiring attorneys rarely has much upside from status quo; we’re more about preventing Very Bad Things than making Very Large Sums.
Sorry about the pot business, but at least you found a place to land.
Enjoy your vacation!
Honestly, what keeps me on the wagon is simply feeling like crap when my weight climbs over 190. Anytime I’m about to eat something, I think about whether the momentary dopamine surge of pleasure is worth feeling bloated and heavy, not having clothes fit, not moving around like I want and not liking what I see in the mirror.
Clearly, one cheat meal will not cause that to happen; but breaking the seal makes it that much easier to do it again, and again, and again… until you are in that place. And it’s a lot harder to get back to where you were than to stay were you are. Everything in life is made up of little momentary decisions that accumulate. By assuming the worst every time I contemplate saying “fuck it” and eating a bunch of pizza I avoid actually getting there.
True. One of the reasons I decided to start the week before vacation is that even if I fall off the wagon while I’m sitting on the beach, at least I am going back instead of putting it off.
Peter Attia on the biochemistry of ketosis. (He’s also done a meticulous series on cholesterol.)
I almost got into an argument with a friend of mine over Keto. A relative of his had to get surgery to remove her gall-bladder while on that diet. I think where he was held up was the belief that one could eat literally anything they want while on Keto without regard to caloric deficits and every proponent of the diet he met was a rabid fanboi.
I probably threw him for a loop by telling him the diet works well for weight loss for extreme obesity because it maximizes nutrition on a limited number of calories taken in without “feeling hungry.” The key is still to eat less than you burn.
In the end we agreed the problem was people looking for a quick fix, and would up equating keto, vegan and paleo proponents to Manuel Duterte fanbois. He’s Filipino.
I think keto works for a lot of Americans because you can’t eat fries, chips, or desert and you can’t drink soda or beer. Which for a lot of people that’s an extra 500-1000 calories per day.
Like the guy who believes in Keto Magic goes “Yeah it’s super magical. We went out to eat, and I couldn’t get my usual order, so I switched my burger for a steak, my fries for spinach and mushrooms, and my soda for water and now I’m magically losing weight because of the ketosis!!!!”
Yeah ketosis woohoo……you also probably dropped 400 calories in soda and 400 calories in french fries and replaced them with spinach, mushrooms, and water.
But whatever works for people.
Water??!? Who goes out for steak and drinks water?
Martinis – gin or vodka.
If someone is actually following the keto rules, I think they can drink a small amount of clear liquor, neat.
Keto doesn’t have some magic physics defying power, it’s just that if you actually follow the keto diet, you’re cutting out what IMO are the big drivers of most American obesity:
1. Fried potatoes as a side dish
2. Liquid Calories
3. Desert.
Like, people nowadays just eat stuff all the time that our grandparents only ate some of the time. When people eat burgers and fries three times a week instead of once a week, when people drink soda like its water, when people have desert with every meal and then wonder why they get fat. Like my grandpa told me once how crazy it was when Nehi introduced a 12 oz soda bottle and everyone was flabbergasted. Now 12oz is the smallest you can find. It’s nuts.
I lost weight on it years ago.
It boils down to cutting out sugar.
You won’t be hungry but you will fucking crave sugar.
Finished up the final week of MTI’s ruck-based selection training. All tapered up and ready to rage. Shipping out Monday morning.
Thanks again to all y’all for the encouragement, and I’m hoping you guys continue to smash personal bests and become the Glibertarian ubermensch that the shrieking harridans on the left all think we are.
Always keeping my eye on the prize
Good luck and stay safe.
Best of luck!
FWIW, if you do a web search for the four words (w/o quotes): bataan memorial training plan you’ll probably see one that’s hosted on GitHub. That’s my plan.
Yes, please stay safe and check in when/if you get a chance.
Good luck!
Say “hi!” to Sand Hill for me.
Good luck and kick ass!
It occurred to me I have not stepped on a scale for over a week. I am not too worried; after all my clothes still fit.
Accountability is why I give these progress reports.
Calories: Avg 1351
Carbs: Avg 24
Walking: M-F at least 20min
Weight: 176.4
People get some weird ideas when they only pay attention to part of a description. My wife is doing this with me (or, more accurately, I’m doing it with her since she started first), and has had people tell her that keto means “you lose weight if you eat fat” from a woman buying lard, and “I only eat beef” from a man looking for summer sausages. Each of these is, of course, part of the deal, and neither eating lard nor eating only beef (muh arteries!!!) will help you lose weight.
Then the AllSeeing Glibertarian Eye will always be watching you.
You’ll know it because it’s very blood-shot and has a nervous twitch.
*Squirts Visene at the AllSeeing Glibertarian Eye*
I was 206.0 on Sunday after I got back from vacation. That is down 0.6 from just before I left. Havent weighed this week, but progress continues.
That’s awesome! How many people can lose weight on vacation?! Good job!
Spending Friday night in the ER helped (my daughter was sick, not me, although she gave it to me and I have been sick all week).
I just ordered a scale – the last one got thrown out because my wife hated it. Not that the scale “lied” – it just meandered all over the measurements depending how you stood on it. So it was hard to track week-by-week progress. Hopefully the new – electric – one is more accurate.
That’s in infuriating. My rule is to always make sure its in a level spot with all four feet in contact with the floor, and then take the lowest number I can get while it supports my bodyweight. Maybe not “accurate” such as it is, but its a constant set of rules that will provide a constant measure of… something related to my actual bodyweight.
Anyone having problems accessing the glibs site? I couldn’t get to it for a few hours. Apparently there is some major problem with Comcast in several areas. I think it’s safe to assume that was the cause.
Yes, it happened to both Sloopy and me as well. The Comcast thing is likely.
We are all in the same general geographic area, so probably. Also, this would never happen if they hadn’t killed net neutrality.
You should call Comcast and ask them how much you have to pay for the fast lane.
They’ll happily upgrade you for free,(without asking) then start charging you for the upgrade (without telling).
Thankfully I don’t use Comcast at home. But I think my work office does. Also, I had problems with just some sites, and others worked fine, so I would guess the problems were in the areas where those sites were physically located.
Been trying to do better with the actual fitness. I am the same weight, but it’s a sloppy gross skinny fat weight. Need to start lifting again, but I popped my back last time and am a bit leary of getting back into the heavy lifts.
Don’t start heavy, work your way into it.
Yeah I’m actually getting into calisthenics and yoga, along with doing the Couch to 5 K app.
That’s a good plan.
Money is tight AF right now with the upcoming wedding, but I really miss having a bike. Mine got stolen years ago in college.
What Ron said. No chick is going to see you with light weight on the bar and say “well, I was going to ask him to fuck but it looks like he’s doing deadlifts for reps instead of his 1RM so now I don’t know.”
Well I’m engaged for one, and for two my gym is thankfully pretty free of gym thots and the asshole bros they attract.
Aleister Crowley, shown above, was totally a wizard.
Isn’t that Uncle Fester?
I did quite shitty this week. I’ve only been to the gym once this week and I’ve snacked on some candy, though not huge amounts of candy. Enough that I’m a little concerned about backsliding on my weight despite being hungry all the time. The strange thing is, three weeks ago I comfortable tightened my belt a notch, and my belt is feeling a bit loose again.
Next week on the Fourth I will indulge in booze. No booze limit beyond that I must be able to sober up to drive afterwards. The week after that is a festival in Pennsylvania, where I will indulge in ice cream, strudel (if the strudel stand is still there that is), and beer but I will a) get and use a guest membership at a good gym in the area while I’m at the festival, and b) be on my feet quite a lot during the festival.
Yes. I always thought that this picture makes him look like Uncle Fester. I was wondering if anyone was going to notice.
You know, I’ve never seen a picture of Crowley until now.
My rule is to always make sure its in a level spot with all four feet in contact with the floor, and then take the lowest number I can get while it supports my bodyweight. Maybe not “accurate” such as it is, but its a constant set of rules that will provide a constant measure of… something related to my actual bodyweight.
As I used to say about doing set-up on race cars, “It doesn’t really matter if that number is wrong, as long as it’s consistently wrong.”
As for the self-employment / business start-up discussion upthread: I completely suck at selling either myself or a product. I have no shortage of ideas, but have not yet managed to to monetize any of them. I have nothing but awestruck admiration for the people who can do it.
It but whatever some good history books. Preferably us post civil war
Auto-correct sucks OT and what are .
One book I’d rec, although it’s fiction, is The Killer Angels by Peter Shaara. He obviously did a shit ton of research, and wrote a very compelling book on Gettysburg.
Sorry – that’s not post Civil War.
Still sounds good
As for workouts/rehab, I have bumped some weights, and gotten back to load bearing step-ups; started half cleans (starting point with the bar resting just above my knees, focused on the shrug, shoulder roll and snap).
Don’t start heavy, work your way into it.
I have been a “3 sets of 15” fan for a long time.
15 is way too high.
/OMWC joke.
Week was kind of a train wreck. Only made it to the gym twice, didn’t sleep for shit and managed to come down with some summer malady.
On the positive front, the progress graph on my lifting app for all my lifts is a straight shot to the moon!
So fuck it. See you next week!
15 is way too high.
Come on, man. Three fifteen year olds would be way better than one forty five year old.
*ogles nurse manager going to a meeting*
Depends on the 45 year old, I’d say.
I went to my Ob/gyn this week – and found that I’ve lost 19 lbs since January. . . . Thank you Lord H for starting us on a (mostly) dairy-free diet. . . . I also started anti depressants around then, so not being able to keep my alcohol level as high as before probably helped too. Also adding running to the fitness routine probably helped too. This is as thin as I was when I left college . . .
This is as thin as I was when I left college . . .
Woohoo!
Thanks! Just feels a bit odd.
Nice work, slim!
Great article Leap. It gives me a few ideas even though the only people who love me are not people I would disclose my biggest weaknesses to. Catholic guilt aint got shit on evangelical guilt. They would lock me up under house arrest and or call the sheriff which might get us all shot. If I get back into the routine of logging food (which I have been saying I would do since Glibfit 1.0 but I suck) I might hit up someone who tolerates me with a smile. That is the best I can muster with someone I trust.