Good afternoon, my dear Glib friends.

You know how sometimes your day week month year life just isn’t going the way you’d planned? You try multiple times to make things happen, and they do…just not with the results you may have wanted.

What to do?

Day drink!

So here are some (perhaps) tasty cocktails to get me you through. You’re welcome.

SPider’s Kiss

1 part melon liqueur
1 part vodka
Juice from 1/2 lemon
Bottle chocolate syrup
Dash grenadine (optional)
Garnish: chocolate dipped orange slice

Using the chocolate syrup, create a spider’s web inside a martini glass.
Place the glass into the freezer and chill. This part is important.
Place the rest of the ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake well.
Strain the cocktail into the glass that you’ve now taken out of the freezer.
If you’d like to add a little blood to your artwork, drizzle a bit of grenadine down the side of the glass.
Garnish with a chocolate dipped orange slice.

Garnishing Tips

OK, I admit it’s tough to get the web to look nice on the first twentieth try. But you can do it! The key is to chill the chocolate syrup.

It’s certainly not mandatory that it be perfectly formed, because, after all, animals don’t use machines. A little bit sloppy and it just looks organic!

Besides, the web quickly starts to melt into the drink, so people will only be able to hassle you for your food decoration skills for a brief time. Unless someone posts a photo of it anywhere online. Then it allows people to mock you pretty much forever (Hi, Sloopy!).

SPymaster

1 1/2 oz Russian vodka
1/2 oz creme de bananes
1/2 oz lemon juice
1 egg white

Place all ingredients into a cocktail shaker.
Shake vigorously for 30 seconds.
Strain into an ice-filled rocks glass.

#notvegan

SPeaker of the House

1 1/2 oz whisky
1/2 oz ginger wine
1 tsp cherry brandy
1/2 oz lemon juice
Garnish: maraschino cherry

Pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker.
Shake for about 30 seconds.
Strain and pour over ice placed in a rocks glass.
Garnish with maraschino cherry and serve.

I’m off to survey the possibilities to be had in the living room bar. Have a terrific rest of your day!

SPanish Harlem

2 oz anejo tequila
1/2 oz sweet vermouth
Dash of bitters
Garnish: maraschino cherry

Chill a martini glass.
Combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice.
But don’t shake.
Stir, instead, until well chilled.
Strain into glass.
Garnish.

SPudgun

2 parts beer
2 parts vodka
4 parts Drambuie

Mix it together and chug.

Now, it may just be non-beer-drinker me, but this seems like it could be a bad decision.