The Hat and The Hair-Animated Episode 6: USDA PRIME

Donald is always scheming.

And only like four of you subscribed, so that little Mexican kid is on a bus to Guadalajara.

Comments

123 responses to “The Hat and The Hair-Animated Episode 6: USDA PRIME”

  1. Myshkin

    That kid looked shady anyway.

    1. He was definitely an MS-13 member.

  2. Old Man With Candy

    Fuck you, *I* subscribed!

    1. CPRM

      That’s why Donald hasn’t done anything to little jewish kids.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        He and I have… an understanding.

    2. Florida Man

      So did I. I was surprised at how few have. *glares at glibertariat*

    3. Bobarian LMD

      Fuck you, *I* subscribed!

      If you bait it with a description of a “little Mexican kid is on a bus to Guadalajara”, is anyone surprised?

    4. ruodberht

      SMASH that motherfuckin bell button

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        SO IF YOU NEVER WANT TO MISS ONE OF MY NEW CAR REPAIR VIDEOS, REMEMBER TO RING THAT BELL!

    5. MikeS

      I subscribed in spite of the threat to deport that Mexican kid.

    6. But did you subscribe under your free name and slave name?

      1. Old Man With Candy

        I am a man of many identities.

  3. Playa Manhattan

    Are those Big Mac stains?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      In his armpits?

      1. R C Dean

        Sure. Warm ’em up after the drive from the McD’s to the White House.

    2. CPRM

      There’s no ketchup on a big mac, so that must be from the fries.

  4. Tundra

    Hat is my favorite character.

    “Yeah, fat boy is fucking with us!”

    1. Lachowsky

      The hat is just about the right amount of degenerate

  5. Gustave Lytton

    Needs moar USDA labels!

  6. Rufus the Monocled

    I really would an episode where Trump fondles himself each time he takes a brick to Obama’s legacy.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      TBH, I fondle myself every time that happens.

      1. Suthenboy

        #MeToo.

      2. Spudalicious

        I’m fondling myself right now.

    2. CPRM

      That kind of thing has no place here!

      That belongs in an SF story proper.

    3. R C Dean

      Other than the persistently weaponized Deep State, what’s left, anyway? Some of O Care, I suppose, and the CFPB, but I can’t think of much else.

      1. trshmnstr

        *Looks at the epoxy still stuck in the engine block of his clunker*

      2. Raston Bot

        Mulvaney working on one of those.

      3. Lachowsky

        Almost all of O care is still in place. There has been no cessation of wars that Obama either started or continued.

        1. R C Dean

          Almost all of O care is still in place.

          True, by weight. The Medicaid expansion part is still intact, as are the health insurance exchanges.

          The individual mandate is gone, though, and there has been a fair amount of work in the bureaucratic trenches grinding down some of the other provisions. The illegal insurance company subsidies, for example, are gone.

          1. Lachowsky

            Isnt the Medicare expansion one of the primary drivers of pass on costs to private consumers.

            My understanding, and I may be wrong, is that medicare consistently under pays and that private insurance companies are left footing the bill to cover their losses for medicare patients.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            To answer your question about Trudeau – I don’t know. I haven’t paid attention.

            The usual nationalist fervour is taking over. ‘Stand behind Trudeau’ crap. Trump better not contribute to Trudeau’s reelection!

          3. peachy rex

            Maybe Trump really hates Canada, and that’s his 54-D chess revenge? Or he’s terrified of the potential strength of a Franco-Canadian alliance, and this is his gambit to undermine it?

          4. But Enough About Me

            Getting Trudeau re-elected is one thing that could make me engage in a little TDS of my own.

            Er, where the “T” stands for Trump, not Trudeau. I’ve already engaged in Trudeau-DS. Proudly.

          5. R C Dean

            Isnt the Medicare expansion one of the primary drivers of pass on costs to private consumers.

            My understanding, and I may be wrong, is that medicare consistently under pays and that private insurance companies are left footing the bill to cover their losses for medicare patients.

            Medicare is for old people, and wasn’t expanded by OCare. Medicaid is for poor people, and was expanded by OCare, although some states opted out.

            Medicare is not a terrible payor – most hospitals can more or less break even on Medicare.

            Medicaid is a terrible payor, paying less than actual cost for most things. But, the alternative is not getting paid at all for a lot of services provided to Medicaid patients. A lot of docs won’t take Medicaid, and so they don’t see Medicaid patients at all. Hospitals all take Medicaid, because we can’t keep Medicaid patients from coming in through the ED, so we’re stuck with them.

          6. “we can’t keep Medicaid patients from coming in through the ED”

            I’ve been lead to believe by many brilliant thinkers that US hospitals routinely ask for exorbitant sums up front from seriously ill people and, upon their inability to pay, take great pleasure in throwing them out on the street to watch them die.

          7. mexican sharpshooter

            I interviewed last year with a small clinic while I was searching for a new job, they needed a new clinic director. I was surprised to find out the majority of their patients were on Medicaid. Its possible to break even but I imagine for a two doc operation it is a matter of overhead vs. volume.

          8. DenverJ

            Since when does medicaid pay for Erectile Dysfunction?

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      PUSSIES.

      MAKE IT HAPPEN.

  7. R C Dean

    Alright, alright. Geez, when I get home I’ll subscribe.* If I remember to.

    *IT keeps a close eye on YouTube traffic. Don’t want to have to answer questions about Hat ‘n’ Hair vids.

    1. Badolph Hilter

      Seriously. I’m going to start a porn site called how_to_improve_your_already_amazing_productivity.com

  8. invisible finger

    “And only like four of you subscribed”

    Like I’m gonna register with google.

    1. MikeS

      Damn good dog. Nice story RC.

    2. Florida Man

      She looks like one of my pups.

    3. Suthenboy

      The cops didn’t shoot the dog?

      1. “STOP RESISTING!”

      2. R C Dean

        It was firefighters, so no.

        1. Badolph Hilter

          They’re still “first responders” though. Are you telling me they don’t get to carry guns as part of the ancient custom of “professional courtesy” ? What a rip-off.

  9. Pan Zagloba

    Good, that Mexican kid was a jerk.

    This might be the best one yet. “Millions and millions and millions of Trump steaks” – truly the greatest way to revitalize the American economy.

    1. MikeS

      “I’m not gonna kill the cow!”

  10. wdalasio

    Sorry to go OT so early, but this crap from TOS suffers from the very Trump Derangement Syndrome (not a term coined by the “alt-right”, whatever the hell that means this week; BDS was used in reference to opponents of George W. Bush on a regular basis) it notes the existence of. Its suggestion that media bias and distorting of the news is just a reaction to Trump winds up sounding like Jenny’s boyfriend blaming his hitting her on “this war and that son-of-a-bitch Johnson”. I guess the folks over at TOS aren’t familiar with Rathergate, the airbrushing of the IRS scandal, the airbrushing of Benghazi, etc.

    This stuff is just pathetic.

    Here’s my prediction. Trump has done a couple of things lately that libertarians should cheer. If he continues on this trend, watch for TOS to actually get more vociferously and vehemently anti-Trump. They could tolerate Obama being a statist. But, I don’t think they have it in them to be okay with Trump being libertarian.

    1. Woketarianism is primarily concerned with culture, tribe and appearances. Trump is boorish and liked by all the wrong people, so it doesn’t really matter if he does actual libertarian-ish things (signaling on ending marijuana prohibition, reduction in foreign entanglements, appointing Constitutionalist judges), he must be opposed. It’s easy for them to sit back and say things about Obama’s liberty destroying policies, but they can’t hate him like they hate Trump because he’s part of the tribe. It’s desperation to be accepted by the cool kids, while simultaneously selling out one’s principles to try and become some kind of controlled opposition.

      Basically, from what I can see, woketarians are a blowjob from Mika B. and a couple tequila shots away from being full on progs.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Woketarianism is primarily concerned with culture, tribe and appearances.

        So, the mirror-image of Yokeltarians, is what you’re saying.

        1. Pretty much. Principles be damned, we have third parties to impress!

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            What part of “The Party of Principle” do they not get?

          2. R C Dean

            I think its the principles part. Really, a typo. Spell it “principals” and they are good.

        2. Florida Man

          Hey, I applauded Obama opening up Cuba and well, that’s one thing at least.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Every dog has its day.

          2. My sincerest hope was that increased prosperity in Cuba would water down the communism enough that it became a completely different place (see: Vietnam).

            Trump torpedoing that was politically smart; he needs to keep Florida if he stands any chance of reelection, but it was inhumane.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Vietnam hasn’t changed so much. I mean they are still imprisoning Christians for having the audacity to be Christian.

          4. wdalasio

            I think it’s fair to credit some of his drug conviction pardons.

          5. Florida Man

            I’m not familiar with the details, but I’ll support the pardon of any non-violent drug offenders, no matter who grants the pardon.

          6. invisible finger

            There’s one part of Cuba that he said he was going to close and didn’t.

        3. ruodberht

          You just compared TOS to MikeM? Yeah, never going back there, but that really cements it.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            You would say that, wouldn’t you, poo-of-hurt!

        4. wdalasio

          So, the mirror-image of Yokeltarians,

          Yeah, I wouldn’t want to bet against that proposition. What I’m not here trying to do is peddle the Kool-Aid for Donald Trump. That’s why I put a bolded If at the beginning of my last paragraph. But, at a certain point, someone has just as much drunken the Kool-Aid against Donald Trump. When you start playing fast and loose with the facts to support the narrative that Donald Trump is the cause of all our problems, I think you’re probably in the realm of Kool-Aid drinkers. And I don’t think TOS is in danger of getting labeled unrepentant Yokeltarians.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            And I don’t think TOS is in danger of getting labeled unrepentant Yokeltarians.

            No doubt. That’s our cross to bear!

          2. PROTECTIONISM RULZ!

        5. Suthenboy

          I cant keep up with all of these labels.

          1. Badolph Hilter

            Typical labeltarian.

          2. DenverJ

            You mean alt-labeltarian

    2. Drake

      TOS has a Chapman, and 2 Shikhas already today. It’s not pretty over there.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Ugh…

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen

        That’s the flop. So what did the river come out to be?

        1. egould310

          “That’s the flop.”

          But enough about Winston’s mom, already.

  11. tarran

    Happiness is turning off the news.

  12. Heroic Mulatto

    I’m so sick of this site fellating Trump every chance it gets! I’m going back to the piss-stained, psychotic hobos that frequent TOS for some balanced discourse!

    1. But Trump’s dick is so tasty!

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        I like Creamsicles too.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          So, Orange flavor?

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yipe, the Cyclops must have gotten hold of that first guy’s ass, it is blown out!

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Here’s my prediction. Trump has done a couple of things lately that libertarians should cheer. If he continues on this trend, watch for TOS to actually get more vociferously and vehemently anti-Trump. They could tolerate Obama being a statist. But, I don’t think they have it in them to be okay with Trump being libertarian.

    Most people (I hope) are okay with an outcome they approve of, even if it was the result of “doing the right thing for the wrong reason”. Others would rather be boiled in oil than admit they approve of an outcome resulting from actions by the wrong person for the right reason.

    If Public Enemy Number One does it, it’s bad, and we all should be outraged.

    1. wdalasio

      Meh. Libertarian writers have to make their living somehow. And what the hell would happen to the world if they had to start recognizing and supporting Donald Trump doing libertarian things? Christ, then they’d have to start competing with everyone on the right. If the conservatives all start supporting libertarianism, where does that leave the old school libertarian writers. They either have to give up on their dreams of getting that gig with The Times or The Atlantic or they have to try to go head-to-head with those other guys.

      1. R C Dean

        A lot of the name brand conservative writers are #NeverTrumpers with some degree of TDS. Probably pure confirmation bias on my part, but I think there’s probably a market opening for writers who can distinguish between Trump yanking people’s chains and what he does that matters (the old “Take Trump seriously, not literally” thing), and can discuss the merits of what he actually does without spittle-flecked rants about Melania’s hat or whatever the palace gossip du jour might be.

        1. DenverJ

          But his daughter tweeted a picture of her child!!! The man is a monster!!!

  14. The Late P Brooks

    If we look at the Korea Summit (I’m just calling it that), there are people who two years ago would have been ecstatic at the thought of Obama pulling that rabbit out of his hat. However, now that it’s Trump at the table, all they can do is skulk around backstage protesting bitterly about how we’re going to get “fleeced”.

    1. I’m of the opinion that the status quo was clearly not working with the Norks, so trying another strategy makes perfect sense. So long as Trump is not desperate to make a deal, any deal, thus leading us to end up with another Iran agreement, I can’t see how anything bad could come of this. Hot war is the only way relations between the two countries could get any worse, and I don’t think that’s going to happen, so might as well give this a try.

    2. R C Dean

      all they can do is skulk around backstage protesting bitterly about how we’re going to get “fleeced”.

      To be fair, I think Obama was better than Trump at getting fleeced.

      So long as Trump is not desperate to make a deal, any deal,

      That’s the only risk to this that I see. I don’t know how prone he is to that.

      1. But Enough About Me

        . . . I think Obama was better than Trump at getting fleeced.

        Yes, he displayed consummate skill at that, mostly because he couldn’t imagine a world that went against his stated goals and obscure preconceptions. “Wait, there are people out there that don’t fall in line every time I make a speech? Nah, you’re funnin’ me!”

      2. Florida Man

        So long as Trump is not desperate to make a deal, any deal,

        It’s a concern because it’s not a private business deal, so all he needs to focus on is optics. Maybe he doesn’t care about reelection and wants a good deal. Who knows.

    3. invisible finger

      You might be conflating Trump with Bruce Rauner.

  15. Since we’ve already gone OT:

    https://quillette.com/2018/06/07/whats-wrong-american-academy/

    “The protestors were rowdy, so I was told by a colleague that we should cancel the talk and reschedule it for spring. When I decided to give the talk a few months later, I thought I’d extend an olive branch to the blogger who smeared me[…]By inviting the blogger to the talk, I made the mistake of believing activists are engaged in an honest search for the truth.”

    Do not negotiate with terrorists. These people represent a small, but very loud, portion of the campus (and most of them probably aren’t students anyway). Your mistake was not reaching out, it was canceling the original talk.

    1. Badolph Hilter

      the mistake of believing activists are engaged in an honest search for the truth

      First day on the job?

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Wait, wait, wait…his name is actually Jonathan Anomaly? That’s not a pseudonym?

      Also, he looks like a cover model for “Just for Men” hair dye.

      1. Badolph Hilter

        His name is certainly a deviation from the common rule, type, arrangement, or form.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Christ, then they’d have to start competing with everyone on the right.

    Robby Soave vs Kevin Williamson.

    Thanks, I needed a hearty laugh.

    1. Badolph Hilter

      Williamson even has better hair.

      1. Raston Bot

        speaking of, does anyone know where Kevin works now or if he’s written recently?

        1. Gadianton

          Looks like he’s back with National Review. At least I see articles under his byline in May and June.

          1. Raston Bot

            cool. thanks. i figured he was banished from NR for leaving them for Vox or Huffpost or wherever the hell he went for those couple days before the perpetually aggrieved whined enough to annoy the editor.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            This was posted by one of the glibs a couple of days ago. Offhand swipe at The atlantic in it

            https://www.weeklystandard.com/kevin-d-williamson/soccer-player-jaelene-hinkle-is-protested-in-portland-for-declining-to-wear-an-lgbtq-jersey

          2. Raston Bot

            One young man suggested that to hold nonconforming views on gay marriage ought to be in itself disqualifying from a career in journalism, on the theory that somehow such ideas are categorically incompatible with journalism per se. He also wanted to know how he was supposed to work with people who viewed certain aspects of his life as immoral. I suggested that he consider growing up, but the message was not well received. The moderator insisted that journalists must “respect all people,” without apparently giving a nanosecond’s thought to the silent “except those who disagree with us, who must be exiled” at the end of her sentence.

            and this is why i read that guy.

          3. Pan Zagloba

            Seinfeld’s “Kramer won’t wear a ribbon” episode – observational or prophetic?

  17. SoberPhobic

    I have subscribed, diff handle tho

    seen before but caption great

    1. Raston Bot

      ha. love the look on Shinzō Abe.

      1. Suthenboy

        Abe is from a culture that values work ethics. I doubt he gives two shits about the whining of Euroweenie welfare queens.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        It’s the new McKayla is not impressed.

  18. Gilmore

    “Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.”
    – Jean Paul Sartre

    unrelated:

    Paris bistros and terraces feel endangered, seek UN status

    1. Gilmore

      PARIS (AP) — Owners of the bistros and terrace cafes that are integral to the Paris way of life want the “je ne sais quoi” of their establishments to be recognized as of broader value and endangered.

      They have launched a campaign to be named by the United Nations’ cultural agency as an “Intangible Cultural Heritage in Need of Urgent Safeguarding.” UNESCO has given that status to traditions as varied as a Mongolian camel-coaxing ritual, Iranian sailboat building and the sung prayers of indigenous Peruvians.

      I feel like i should apply for a grant to “protect” the Black Israelites of Times Square as a treasured local phenomenon which has for decades provided visitors to the city with unique insights into cultural anthropology

      1. CPRM

        Can we get a grant from the UN for shooting clubs?

        1. Gilmore

          While its possible they would consider the Pulse nightclub massacre part of American cultural heritage, im not sure who they would write a check to.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        What about the naked cowboy guy?

    1. But Enough About Me

      It doesn’t take very long to say “Here’s the deal, take it or leave it, fat boy.”

      1. I’ve thought for a while that all he’d have to do is offer Kim amnesty for his Crimes Against Humanity and a nice retirement castle somewhere Europe and Korea’d be reunited tomorrow.

        1. But Enough About Me

          Yep. Hookers, blow, rich, decadent Western food and all the Internet and media he can consume in a safe place.

    1. Suthenboy

      Really? I have been around a while and in my whole life those norms haven’t changed. What you can do to someone against their will?
      How about Nuthin, nuthin, nuthin. Not one thing. Try it with me or mine and you will find out real fast what is acceptable.