Saturday Morning Departure Links

The worst part about getting ready for our road trip is the packing. SP wanted to bring ALL of her stuffed animals  and it took hours to calm her down after she realized it just wasn’t going to fit. After all, I needed room for the bags of Skittles and my various trench coats. Nonetheless, it’s Saturday, the Glibertariat expects fresh links, and frankly, I’m now exhausted. So if there’s a theme here, it’s purely coincidental.

I can’t help but think about the greatest road trip movie ever. Watching it now, you see gags that have been stolen by every road trip comedy made in the last 50 years- I’m looking at YOU, National Lampoon’s Vacation. Here’s a delightful clip that starts out with a classic line and goes off into five minutes of pure improv. Oh, and on the Hollywood theme, happy birthday to Johnny Depp, who truly is a fine actor, with an uncanny ability to disappear into a role. And apparently, something happened in some trash sport yesterday, but it’s not football, so who gives a shit.

 

Let’s start in Florida because… well… Florida. There’s something about this state that is just different from everywhere else. Like alligators who have interesting tastes in sashimi. You’d think this would be an object lesson to people, but this is Florida- hold my beer.

One more Florida story, which reinforces my firm conviction that everything is better with monkeys.

 

Something everyone knew but was somehow swept under the rug for reasons. I know, let’s put a billion dollars in cash on a pallet and ship it to those nice folks. Maybe next year, they’ll join their neighbors in a parade. Or maybe not.

 

Concern trolling. Many concerns. The best concerns.

 

OK, I admit I’m old and don’t always understand the changes in the world around me. But seriously, really? REALLY?

 

This is totally not about revenue. Nossir. Public safety!

 

As November approaches, mendacity gets turned up to 11.

 

Old Guy Music time- and here, I should note that today, June 9, is Les Paul’s birthday. There has been no greater. See y’all down the road!

Comments

288 responses to “Saturday Morning Departure Links”

  1. SoberPhobic

    but unbelted occupants disproportionately account for over half of those killed in traffic crashes.

    Using a seatbelt vs not = 50/50 chance of dying?

    1. Suthenboy

      I once dated an EMT. Every time the ad with the state trooper claiming he had never unbuckled a dead person would come on she would start cussing. “Of course you haven’t, asshole. Cops wont touch an accident victim. I am the one who unbuckles them.”

      Yes, that is what she said…about 50/50.

      1. SoberPhobic

        I was against the law, but got t-boned and survived (geo metro) since then always have belt on.
        still against the law tho.

    2. Not if 90% of people (just picking out a number; I don’t know the actual statistic) use their seat belts.

    3. Spudalicious

      The way modern vehicles are designed, if you wear your seatbelt, there’s a good chance you can walk away from some pretty horrific accidents. If you don’t, you will probably get seriously screwed up or dead, even at lower speeds.

  2. Suthenboy

    Senator from WV supports candidate that vows to put coal miners out of work.

    Genius!

    Hopefully WV voters will tell the moron to go pound sand in November.

    1. Mustang

      Polls are BS but I’d love for the blue tidal wave to be nothing more than than a weak ripple. The new schadenfreude would be wonderful.

      1. Suthenboy

        It wont even be a ripple. They are going to lose ground.
        I keep trying to encourage them to double down on the tranny bathrooms and tax increases.

        1. Mustang

          You’re more optimistic than I. I encourage them to double-down. They really just aren’t trying hard enough is all.

        2. Spudalicious

          I’m starting to think that may be right. It certainly will be in the Senate.

    2. Bob Boberson

      I can’t wait to vote against Joe “Due process is killing us” Manchin. Unfortunately WV voters are pretty easily swayed by anyone who is good at getting them some Fed bucks. The welfare mentality is pretty pervasive here regardless of what TEAM they root for.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Unfortunately WV voters are pretty easily swayed by anyone who is good at getting them some Fed bucks.

        Untrue. For decades, they had Byrd, who famously refused to engage in pork and nobly declined to have his name put on anything.

        1. Bob Boberson

          He’s still loved by both R’s and D’s down here. The WV mentalities “We’re poor, give us shit”…….weird how they stay poor

  3. Suthenboy

    If the Iranians said it, it’s a lie. You can take that to the bank.

    1. juris imprudent

      There are idiots in this country that believe Iran was in on 9/11. Right, Shia’s and Wahhabis. Right.

  4. Mustang

    I really want to be optimistic about North Korea but it’s so easy to see how all of this can go south (no pun intended…or was it?) that it quickly tempers my idealism.

  5. 10 Percent Of People Admit To Checking Phone During Sex

    taking selfies?

    1. SoberPhobic

      Warching porn?

      1. Suthenboy

        Or baseball.

        1. In Canada it’s hockey, eh?

      2. juris imprudent

        Streaming porn?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      They get their best ducklips going during sex.

    3. I figured it’s a kink for somebody.

      (NB: I am not that somebody.)

    4. straffinrun

      vibration mode.

    5. Pope Jimbo

      I would have guessed that OMWC would be one of the worse for checking his phone during sex. Mostly to check on when that Amber alert goes out…

    6. Sounds like the beginning of a Rodney Dangerfield joke.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    That’s when the Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office says the monkey managed to escape the vehicle and began walking through the parking lot.

    A Home Depot employee noticed the monkey and took hold of its leash, not wanting it to get hurt.

    The employee says the monkey then climbed on her back and bit her twice.

    Yeah, no….. I don’t trust monkeys. And I’ve seen the movies about what happens next.

    1. straffinrun

      AIDS and then assfucking?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Don’t forget about turning mexican

        I’ve got your ssn, I’ve got your ssn
        A million of MS-13 all ’round my cell
        I want the border patrol to take your picture
        So I can steal your driver’s license as well
        You’ve got me roofing up and roofing down, I’m roofing in, I’m roofing ’round

        I’m turning Mexicano, I think I’m turning Mexicano, I really think so
        Turning Mexicano, I think I’m turning Mexicano, I really think so
        I’m turning Mexicano, I think I’m turning Mexicano, I really think so
        Turning Mexicano,…

    2. The Last American Hero

      They become special advisors to the President?

      I keed. I keed.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    In addition, the study finds people 18 to 34 years of age are almost twice as likely to check their phone during sex than those 35 to 51 years of age.

    Kids these days.

    FOCUS!

  8. We’re going on a short trip over to Lansing – records, beer, mexican-o food, and just a chance to get out of town. And then a farewell party for some neighbors who are moving.

    And yes my neighborhood is like an episode of the twilight zone. People drive by and wave at us. I have conversation with my neighbors, get invited and host parties, including Halloween, and help out at the local pool. It’s weird, man.

    1. I live at the end of a dead-end-street. My nearest neighbor is at the bottom of the hill down a 1000-foot driveway.

      Although most of the neighbors are getting together for a bit of NIMBYism. Somebody’s trying to buy one of the unimproved lots, put up something like tiny houses on it, and rent them out to vacationers.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      I was just given a bottle of Cabernet made by the Honduran next door. He was thanking me for telling him how to get rid of some haze in the Chardonnay he was making. Then he offered to mow our lawn while we’re on this trip.

      Weird, man.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Doesn’t he realize SP isn’t old enough to have any grass on her lawn?

    3. Brochettaward

      You people make me sick.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    In addition, they were more likely to say they are sad.

    Sad, or pathetic?

  10. Slammer

    Chet Atkins was one of the finest guitarists this country has ever produced, just outstanding in every way

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Yeah, and a truly decent guy as well. Teaming him with Les Paul, well, that’s more talent than a stage could be expected to hold.

    2. F. Stupidity Jr.

      I love Atkins’ restraint. Where a lot of guitarists (even some great ones) blast their way through a piece, Atkins tip-toes.

    3. egould310

      In honor of Les Paul’s birthday, I am going to smoke dope all day and play my Les Paul guitar all day. I might clean the bathroom later this afternoon too.

  11. Bob Boberson

    “It was a successful campaign, and we believe through our enforcement efforts, we helped save lives and raise awareness revenue in our community jurisdiction

    FIFY

    1. Bob Boberson

      Hmmm…..does not work for italics on here?

      1. em for italics; strong for bold.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Along those lines, a woman is charged with being drunk on a horse.

      The 51-year-old woman was charged with being in charge of a horse whilst under the influence of liquor.

      She is due to appear in the Beenleigh Magistrates Court on June 26.

      “Police want to remind the public that drink driving does not just mean a vehicle, it can include a horse,” a police spokesman said.

      Yup. You can’t have drunks on horses for … reasons. Not sure what they are, but sure.

      1. Nephilium

        It’s better if they are in a buggy. See, you do need to be afraid of the Amish.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    does not work for italics on here?

    Use “em” inside the brackets.

  13. CPRM

    If you’re going to go through the trouble to make the fake book cover why not spell it “Berenstein Bears” to get people to think it’s from another timeline?

  14. The Elite Elite

    Literally Hitler just won’t play nice with the other G7 leaders.

    The five themes for this year’s summit are:
    Inclusive economic growth
    Gender equality and women’s empowerment
    World security
    Jobs of the future
    Climate change and oceans

    World security is the only legit topic here that world leaders should talk about. Everything else, especially climate fraud and women’s empowerment, can fuck right off.

    1. juris imprudent

      What would these idiots talk about regarding world security? All they are going to do is waste a lot of fossil fuel getting there and back, and all of the oxygen inside every room they are in – on all of those topics.

      1. The Elite Elite

        How they need to start paying their fair share for defense, instead of having the United States always footing the bill for defending everywhere?

      2. It’s definitely not going to be serious discussion on improving cybersecurity policy. As expected, it’s instead going to be superfluous meetings qua meetings.

    2. RAHeinlein

      I was flipping through channels during my workout and landed on summit coverage. The announcer stated all the leaders “except Trump” had arrived and they couldn’t understand why Trudeau was starting the meeting without him – Gender Equality Advisory council. Trump is also skipping Climate discussions.

      1. Rhywun

        Love it.

      2. The Last American Hero

        WTF do the G7 have to talk about Gender Equality? All 7 are countries that not only have equal legal rights for people regardless of gender, but have some version of affirmative action/quota laws.

        1. Akira

          “Gender equality” has come to mean “whatever benefits women and/or harms men”.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    The five themes for this year’s summit are:
    Inclusive economic growth
    Gender equality and women’s empowerment
    World security
    Jobs of the future
    Climate change and oceans

    With any luck, “jobs of the future” refers to what those idiots plan to do after they have been voted out of office.

  16. The Elite Elite

    Mika Brzezinski to Rudy Giuliani: RESPECT WAMYN!

    this scares me for my daughters and for women across this country who have been fighting so hard to be taken seriously, to be an equal part of society and to be paid equally.

    If women want to be an equal part of society, they’d have to be fighting to have their privileges taken away. Instead feminazis like you, Mika, whine about not being privileged enough.

    1. A Fuggin White Male

      Don’t trot out the “muh daughter’s” argument you adulturess piece of trash.

      One of her daughters allegedly hates her and there’s pics of her wearing a MAGA quite proudly.

    2. SoberPhobic

      but I do support her right to have a voice — especially if she was taken advantage of, lied to or misled into signing an agreement that she did not understand

      Why defend her if she’s not bright enough to see thru the lies?
      Also, I didn’t see anything about feckless c*nt in this word crap.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      Maybe she doesn’t realize that a lot of women who have worked hard and been promoted on merit are respected and taken seriously. On the other hand, when you got a job basically because your father was a big wig in the Carter administration, people aren’t going to take you so seriously.

    4. Plinker762

      I remember how respectfully the women accusing Bill Clinton of sexual impropriety were treated by that administration and the press.

    5. Akira

      If women want to be an equal part of society, they’d have to be fighting to have their privileges taken away. Instead feminazis like you, Mika, whine about not being privileged enough.

      Women are drastically underrepresented in homicides, suicides, workplace deaths, homelessness, and incarcerations. They statistically get lighter sentences than men who commit the same crimes. They have a higher life expectancy than men. The “wage gap” has been debunked again and again, and women actually report higher job satisfaction rates than men. They outperform boys in K-12 education and college enrollments. They don’t have to register for the draft.

      It can’t be repeated enough: First-world females are one of the most privileged classes of people in history.

  17. The local liquor store, which is owned by some first generation Muslim immigrants, started selling homemade hummus. So damn good. God Bless America!

    1. Bob Boberson

      How long until they are raided by the USDA or health department you think?

      1. I give it a month.

        1. straffinrun

          Hopefully that month is Ramadan.

    2. Slammer

      “Do you have extra homos for my peter?”

    3. Note – they could be Christians too – I’m just being a shitlord since they are obviously from the Middle East.

      1. A Fuggin White Male

        One of my good friends (I’m godfather to his kid) is a Christian refugee from Eritrea.

        Looking at him, you’d assume he’s Muslim. Nope, he’s orthodox Christian.

        Also, he thinks we’re absolutely insane for letting in any Muslims at all, as he’s seen the Muslim takeover of his country first hand (Eritrea used to be majority Christian), and he believes Islam the religion is inseparable from islamism the political ideology.

        1. Mustang

          I’ve had Christian Arab acquaintances who have said the same thing.

    4. Suthenboy

      Hummus? I want to know what their baba ghanoush is like. Hopefully a little heavy on lemon. I love that stuff.

      I love this stuff too:
      1 tsp crushed garlic
      2 tbs lemon juice
      2 tbs tahini
      1 tsp cumin
      salt ~ 1/2 tsp
      1/4 tsp cayenne
      1/4 tsp paprika
      1-16 oz can of black beans

      Toss it all in a blender and blend well. You can dip with traditional pita or use corn chips which is even more delicious. Top the dip with fresh cut tomato, jalepeno and/or chopped black olive.

      Yum.

      1. RAHeinlein

        Did you forget the cilantro?

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Bless you.

        2. Suthenboy

          You are going to hell RA. You hear me? Hell.

        3. Count Potato

          Soap is for washing, not cooking.

          1. I lives me some soap weed on a cemita with pickled onions. Mmmmm

      2. Slammer

        I made that yesterday. Except i threw a whole unseeded fresh jalapeno in the blender

  18. The Elite Elite

    Is there going to be an actual attempt to rid us of Obamacare? We can only hope.

    1. Whatever exists of Obamacare is a tattered mess of the original – with some strange market distortions left. Since the penalty has been removed, how can it last?

      (something something government programs are forever)

      1. The Last American Hero

        Hopefully it becomes one of those programs like the Civil War Widow Pension program, where there’s two 85 year olds still on Obamacare 150 years from now but it takes a longform essay to explain how that is even possible.

  19. CPRM

    So, they made a sequel to Halloween and Halloween II that seems to ignore all the movies in between, and named it Halloween. Not to be confused with the original Halloween or the remake of Halloween.

  20. straffinrun

    That’s when the Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office says the monkey managed to escape the vehicle and began walking through the parking lot.

    Oh Monkey, Where art Thou?

    1. straffinrun
      1. SoberPhobic

        The doctors decided to operate and remove the vegetable from the man’s body.

        Gotta love Med school.

      2. Sean

        Oh my.

    2. CPRM

      Mmmm turpentine….

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Bungler

    There are lots of reasons that Hurricane Maria hasn’t had the same political impact as Katrina — Puerto Rico is far away from the mainland, its residents can’t vote in federal elections, and the punishing churn of today’s news cycle makes it hard to focus on a single catastrophe for too long. But Trump’s failure in Puerto Rico is representative of his presidency, and it is a portent.

    ———-

    Experts acknowledge that Hurricane Maria would have challenged any president. “The basic model for a FEMA response is that the state and local authorities lead, and FEMA comes in to support their recovery effort,” Jeremy Konyndyk, who headed U.S.A.I.D.’s Office of U.S. Foreign Disaster Assistance under Barack Obama, told me. In Puerto Rico, where the whole island had been devastated, that was impossible.

    But it’s precisely because FEMA isn’t set up to handle situations like Puerto Rico that we needed a capable president. “When a government agency needs to do something it is not designed to do, it takes a lot of very disciplined, rigorous White House leadership” to make it happen, Konyndyk said.

    I don’t get it. Is Trump too authoritarian, or not authoritarian enough? After all, what she seems to want is for the President to have declared martial law and assumed total control of the island of Puerto Rico, in order to spend billions of dollars. A “pen, phone and checkbook” type of response.
    Laws are an impediment good policy, I guess.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      They want a daddy who says all the right things.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Honestly they only care about what letter comes after their name.

    2. Slammer

      >be a Caribbean island
      >have no workable major hurricane disaster plan in place
      >blame Trump

      1. Gadianton

        ????
        Profit

    3. Not an Economist

      Well, the government of Puerto Rico was a disaster. The power company particularly so. So when Maria came knocking the infrastructure of Puerto Rico fell apart. So we basically had to start from scratch.

      I’m an engineer and I know a little bit about logistics. I don’t see how you can rebuild a state, especially one like Puerto Rico, in a year without neglecting everything else. Even for a country the size (economic and population) of the US, I certain we could not do it.

      I wonder if anybody asked Konyndyk how Haiti is doing. Seems it would have been his responsibility during the Obama administration to help.

      1. Not an Economist

        I read the article. It was even worse than I imagined. It repeated the canard that Bush was responsible for the botched response in New Orleans after Katrina.

      2. The issue of Puerto Rico’s slow recovery of full power restoration particularly grinds my gears. They have zero interest in completely privatising their power sector, but that’s what it is going to take if they want a robust power grid with restoration times that creep into many many months territory.

        1. *recovery times that DON’T creep into…

        2. straffinrun

          State Power to the People!

        3. SoberPhobic

          How is it Hawaii hasn’t been rebuilt yet?
          how long til this is a headline?

          1. dbleagle

            HI government is easily as bad as PR’s, plus the power company is famously corrupt and incompetent. (e.g. there are 20 replacement power poles on the island of Oahu and well north of 80% of the grid is above ground.)

            Combine that with being a five hour flight from the mainland and HI is pretty well STEVE SMITHed the next hurricane that get a solid strike on the state. The only thing we got going for us is the usual track for tropical storms lets the big island goalie the storms around us.

        4. Not an Economist

          Most people have zero understanding of logistics. Most governments have no understanding of logistics. Wars are won and lost because of logistics. Getting the right stuff where it needs to be and when it needs to be there is hard. UPS, FedEx, and even the USPS spend billions on figuring this stuff out. Far too many people don’t even think about this.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            HIlariously, FEMA showed up at our business after Hurricane Isabel and demanded to buy generators ahead of everyone else and at a lower price. My father told them to get to the back of the line and pay what everyone else was paying or to get the hell out.

          2. At which point they accused you of price gouging.

          3. I wish I had the bandwidth to go back and revisit some of the news narratives around the post-hurricane logistics challenges. Specifically recall there being massive problems introduced by purposeful sloth of local labour (unions) early on, but I never looked into it deeply. If there was any truth to that, unions insisting on wetting their beaks during a total emergency, is totally unacceptable.

            The major thing that NPR likes to talk about recently is how FEMA bungled the logistics and distribution of emergency tarps. Shouldn’t they already have a domestic policy on this….Being a Caribbean island? It would seem important enough to have a hurricane proof facility on the island with the sole purpose of warehousing hundreds of thousands of emergency tarps and other provisions. I bet it doesn’t happen in the future either. FEMA is supposed to take care of everything, even though the locals there don’t have to pay Federal income tax.

            Too many state and territorial governments have no budget surplus or substantial rainy day fund. Even here in NH, a huge windfall of unexpectedly high business tax collection will be completely spent.

          4. AlmightyJB

            I love how the reporters find the nearest street corner in an emergency and then ask where all the supplies and services are at. Yeah they need to bring more than just a camera and they all just can’t show up on some random street corner you idiot.

          5. Pope Jimbo

            Did NPR then suggest that since FEMA can’t do its job that it should just be defunded?

            Or did they go with Plan B? Throw even more money at them.

          6. Gustave Lytton

            Obviously it can’t do it’s job because it doesn’t have enough funding. Don’t you even gov, bro?

      3. The Last American Hero

        Haiti was rebuilt better than ever 90 days after the hurricane by the Clintons. Don’t you read the papers?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    And that, my friends, is world in which we live; Rudy Giuliani just provided a cartoon version of what we face every day. It’s a landscape that makes it really hard for women to find their voices. It’s hard to break through and be credible when this is how many people, consciously or subconsciously, think about women.

    What a cruel world we live in, where women have no voice. None will hear their entreaties for fairness. None will hear their cries for justice.

    We know this because a woman with her own television show, a platform from which she may broadcast her views to her multitude of loyal followers, has told us so.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Yes, no creatures on earth are more oppressed than American women.

  23. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Got to take the middle kid to a party today. Normally, that’s only minorly annoying, but this one happens to be on a base that requires me to give up my phone and take a shuttle onto. And I can’t leave until the shuttle is available.

    Not going to say what base because they probably monitor the internet for it.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Third base?

      Remember to wash your hands before you come back home. It is only courteous to your wife.

  24. Rufus the Monocled

    The progressive left are hoping Trump fails in North Korea.

    I guess they could have said the same of conservatives who wanted Obama to fail but I’m guessing, as is usually the case in my view, far worse on the left.

    I don’t go for all that ‘to be sure’ nonsense Soave obsesses over.

  25. Rufus the Monocled

    Re that road trip clip and Fields.

    That’s why I always want to punch someone who says ”be original!’

    I’ll never forget David Foster when he was a guest on American Idol talking about being original. My eyebrow raised and wondered who is he to talk of originality? Unless I’m missing something but all he did was churn out formulaic pop.

    It’s also code for ‘I’m the gatekeeper and you ain’t getting in unless you satisfy what I consider to be original’.

    It’s all been done.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    on a base that requires me to give up my phone and take a shuttle onto

    They don’t want you leaking photos of the alien technology.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Let’s just say you don’t want to go wandering around on this particular facility. They have a one minute response time with armed guards.

      1. With on base housing? Sounds like a first class PitA. Either general officers or just plain weird.

  27. straffinrun

    Democrats tolerate Manchin’s rhetoric because he’s shown an ability to survive as a Democrat in a state where the party is an endangered species. And that’s the only way Democrats can ever win back the Senate majority

    Can’t spell Manchurian candidate without Manchin.

    1. CPRM

      Keep up with the news, it’s the Siberian Candidate, and occupies the White House!

  28. Derpetologist

    Go home CNN, you’re drunk.

    https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/09/politics/trump-russia-historical-analysis/index.html

    ***
    President Donald Trump said Friday he’s “been Russia’s worst nightmare” and he often argues he’s tougher than past presidents toward Moscow when rejecting criticism of his oddly deferential approach to Vladimir Putin.

    But the truth is that many modern presidents have adopted a far more adversarial approach than Trump towards the Kremlin, which is accused by US intelligence services of meddling in the 2016 US election in an operation that came to favor Trump over noted Russia hawk Hillary Clinton.

    Trump’s administration has imposed several sets of sanctions on Russia, allowed the sale of lethal arms to Ukraine and kicked out 60 Russian diplomats over the poisoning of a former Russian spy in Britain. The administration also launched cruise missile attacks against the forces of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, a key Putin ally — a step that Barack Obama failed to take.

    But Trump has repeatedly rejected the conclusion of US intelligence agencies that Moscow intervened in the 2016 election in an effort to help him win and insists that it is smart diplomacy to ease US relations with Russia, which are at their most tense since the fall of the Berlin Wall.
    ***

    [head desk]

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      “And his moves against Moscow pale against those of many of his predecessors.

      During the Cold War…”

      What the fuck? Are we still in the Cold War? How does this moronic dreck make it to print?

    2. Suthenboy

      “But the truth is that many modern presidents have adopted a far more adversarial approach than Trump towards the Kremlin…”

      Jimmy Carter comes to mind.

    3. Derpetologist

      “noted Russia hawk Hillary Clinton”

      Let that sink in. Remember the reset button? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

      1. Brochettaward

        I also remember the tens of millions of dollars in donations her Foundation received from Kremlin/Putin related entities. Along with the large speaking fees her husband received. And the close relationship between the Podestas and pro-Russian Ukrainians. Basically…all the dirt they breathlessly hope they can find on Trump.

  29. Rhywun

    Have people still not figured out that Florida is a place that isn’t fit for human habitation?!

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Absolutely.

      That is why people live in the other states and only Florida Men live in FL.

      1. Mr Lizard

        It was definitely not intended for weak mammals

    2. Negroni Please

      I certainly have. That’s why I’m fleeing to the mountains. Well, I’m fleeing to the plains that aren’t very far from the mountains.

      Either way the plains are very far from alligators and Florida Man

    3. Pope Jimbo

      This is why Florida can’t have nice zoos.

      A 20-year-old man was arrested on Tuesday after police say they have discovered at least seven missing zoo animals inside of his Gainesville apartment

    4. AlmightyJB

      That’s why it’s a penal colony.

  30. Rufus the Monocled

    Seen on Seeking Alpha:

    Comment: “When COSTCO, Starbucks and other retail pay $15 an hour – the price of goods have to go up.”

    Response: Maybe if the fatcat executives could learn to survive on 20 times the average employee salary, instead of 2000 times the average employee salary, product prices could be held steady.

    First of all, a tiny % of them do. The vast majority of CEO’s don’t make that. I think the national average is 300k. So let’s take a small sample size and make the majority pay for it via increased national minimum which will disproportionately impact….anyone? Bueller?……SMALL BUSINESS or at least smaller businesses. That’s sticking to the ‘fat cats!’ We have to so something and that something to ‘narrow the gap’ is minimum wage! My MW went up three straight years. Know what my bleeding heart liberal sister is realizing each time it goes up? Those young inexperiences girls she loves (because they’re trainable and usually very good) become harder to justify to hire. And idiots like this guy don’t get that. What does he care right? It don’t hurt him none.

    Same clown:

    Comment: “This dysfunctional system goes back over 80 years to FDR”

    Response: The stock market crashed, and the country (and entire world) was deep in the Great Depression by the time FDR entered the White House. Under FDR, people got paid to work, infrastructure was built, the banking structure was saved, prohibition was ended (lowering the crime rate). Trumpolini’s dysfunction has no relationship to FDR.

    I guess he’s not interested in the fact there’s ample literature and evidence FDR wasn’t all that.

    I notice progs, in rewriting and reframing history, tend to not touch the parts that suit their narratives. FDR is one of them. In Canada, it’s the complete whitewashing of Canada’s overwhelming ‘white European past’ until, really, the 1950s. Nope. We were always a ‘diversified immigrant’ country. Not a pioneer one. Makes it easier to say stupid shit like ‘Sri Lankans (who came in the 70s and 80s mostly) contributed just as much as the original French settlers!’

    1. Negroni Please

      I recently learned that Canada didn’t achieve actual sovereignty until 1982. WTF CANADA????

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Yes. The repatriation of the Constitution.

        The whole saga led to the outrageous ‘notwithstanding clause’ and no Quebec signature. The other provinces hammered out a deal without Quebec in the wee morning. A night nationalists call ‘the night of the long knives’ (I guess a spin on what happened in Germany).

        It was quite the spectacle. Still is a taboo subject.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriation#The_Kitchen_Accord

        1. Negroni Please

          So weird. Like most of my countrymen I know very little about America’s hat outside of Revolutionary War history and War of 1812 history. After the War of 1812, Canada might as well not exist to me until WWII and then they disappear again until the Calgary Olympics. I probably oughta rectify that knowledge lacuna at some point….

          1. Rhywun

            I took “Canadian History” in college to satisfy some requirement but of course I don’t remember much of it.

          2. Tundra

            Chapter one: Rocket Richard
            Chapter Two: Bobby Orr
            Chapter Three: Wayne Gretzky
            Chapter Four: Sid Crosby

            Bonus Chapter: Willie O’Ree

          3. Negroni Please

            That’s hilarious. What kind of weirdo prof fought to get that course on the schedule?

          4. Rhywun

            It was Buffalo. Lots of Canadians there.

          5. Negroni Please

            That makes sense. The weirdest (and worst) class I had to take for a dumb requirement was Literature and Anthropology. The prof wrote her dissertation on Ulysses. Specifically on the chapter where Molly Bloom starts her period. Apparently this is the first time in fiction where menstruation is mentioned? idk.

            Anyway using Ulysses as the base text we then read a shitload of anthropology articles about menstruation in various indigenous cultures. In order to learn….?

            Yeah. That class was every bit as awesome as it sounds.

          6. Was up in Victoria for the Canadian naval centennial in 2010 – that was some fun history. I think we had the Governor general pass and review our ship – with some snowbirds overflying.

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          YOUR WIVES AND FAGGY BOYFRIENDS MUST ALL BE SO PROUD.

    2. AlmightyJB

      FDR and LBJ are probably the worst two presidents ever.

    3. Rhywun

      Yeah, every time I hear locals complaining about “chain stores” and about the empty storefronts sprouting up all over Manhattan I wonder when it will sink in that this is exactly what they wanted.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        It’s always by design. I learned that on a micro-level here in this town where my business is. They started doing all sorts of stuff to weed out small businesses because they wanted to put condos up.

    4. Akira

      I don’t get why people are always bitching about CEO salaries as though they are completely unnecessary expenses which can be lowered (by government force) with no effect. The CEO salary is part of the cost of running a company. You need someone to make the decisions about the company’s direction and strategy, and guess what? That’s a lot of fucking work, and people are going to demand a lot of money for it.

      Those young inexperienced girls she loves (because they’re trainable and usually very good)

      I wholeheartedly agree with her on this.

  31. The OMWC and SP road trip seems like a lot of great points of interest. My wife wants to do a full lower-48 state road trip by RV (not a 5th wheel) in about 10 years, and that does seem fun. I wouldn’t mind including all the Canadian provinces and Alaska too.

    1. Not an Economist

      I’ve been thinking about taking a road trip to see everything in the US I want to see after I retire. I haven’t decided whether I would take an RV or use a car and only stay in motels.

      1. dorvinion

        Granted my longest road trip has been about 2 weeks, but my preference for road trips is a tow-able camper of some sort.

        Benefits of an RV are you have a kitchen, fridge, you choose the bed so you always sleep comfy (our camper had a crummy mattress, we replaced it), and more freedom to stay where you want.

        Of course my camper is just a little 12 foot, lightweight popup with hard sides we can pull with a minivan or in a pinch, my Outback.

  32. Rhywun

    But seriously, really? REALLY?

    It seems unbelievable until you observe that half the millenials you see are incapable of even walking anywhere without staring at their phone the whole time.

  33. Pope Jimbo

    Of course this invention came from Boston.

    I guess now they can eat pizza Boston Strong style while huddling inside while the po-po plays army outside.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Except Boston Pizza is based in Alberta – or at least started there.

      BP is horrible.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        So you wily Canucks are stealing the names our proud cities?

        We will be protesting this travesty, Canadian style!

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Was expecting Canadian style bacon.

    2. Do they even have locations in the US? /Too lazy to look

      1. Rhywun

        I’d never heard of it until I started seeing their ads at NHL games in Canada.

  34. Rufus the Monocled

    Why Sidney Crosby (and Alex Ovechkin!) are greater than Lebron James reason 3949595:

    https://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/warriors-vs-cavs-lebron-james-airs-frustrations-on-cleveland-bench-during-game-4-blowout/

    They don’t pull shit like that. I never ever saw Crosby mouth off at team mates or the coach or pretend he’s the coach. He’s just the captain of men.

    James is a drama queen.

      1. Rhywun

        Soccer does the “handshake line” before all matches. Not sure who did it first though.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          They also have the informal hand shake and sweater swap at the end which is pretty cool.

          Crosby and Ovechkin are contemporaries who dominate their game. I expect nothing less but sportsmanship.

          Both are solid people.

          And they have the decency to keep their damn politics to themselves.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I honestly don’t blame him. He has a bunch of shit teammates that stopped trying. That’s a 20 win team without him and he dragged them to the NBA Finals.

      1. Rhywun

        He should take out his anger on the management or something… you can’t get blood from a stone.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I think that the NBA has had a lot of stars who are willing to bitch at their teammates. Jordan would yell at his crew in the day. I think Bird was another who would yell when he thought his team wasn’t playing well.

          On the other hand, those guys all were just as hard on themselves to perform. My beef with James is that he constantly whines to the refs and he has consistently thrown shade on his own teammates. (I don’t like Kevin Love, but I feel sorry for him getting thrown under the bus year after year)

          1. Rhywun

            Yeah, I see similar behavior in lots of soccer matches but not as um, expressive or consistent. I’m getting the idea that the extremes in talent on his team are a little more pronounced than average though.

        2. straffinrun

          Agreed. Thing is, no one wants to get humiliated like that. I said it last night, but Curry, Durant and Thompson are a killed line up for any team to face. Fuck Durant for hopping on that bandwagon. He was a hair away from getting his own ring with Westbrook as his wingman. I hate these free agent pile on teams and LeBron did that in Miami, so meh… Hard to feel sorry for him.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            I think Westbrook is a grade A asshole. I can’t say I blame Durant.

            If I was a free agent who played with a guy who wanted the ball all the time and I had the option of playing on another team that had stars that seemed OK with passing the ball (and with me there they might win 5 or 6 rings), I can’t say I would stand pat.

      2. straffinrun

        If he had sat there all hang dog, they would have crucified him. He didn’t really lay down and roll over like his teammates did. I don’t like James, but I’ve been on some bad teams and it sucks. Not much you can do.

      3. Rufus the Monocled

        Bull shit. It’s okay to be upset but do it behind closed doors. Do it in the dressing room. It’s also okay to rile your team mates up on the bench but that’s not what he’s doing.

        That’s poisonous crap.

        I always hated – HATED – a player who did crap like that. Don’t you fucken embarrass me no matter how good you are.

        Crosby can say the same of his team mates but he doesn’t. When Kessel tees off at the bench, Corsby lets him do it even if it’s wrong for him to do so because Crosby acts like a real captain.

        James is all about him.

      4. Rufus the Monocled

        And JB, you’re absolutely right about them being a 20 win team without him but he needs to change the attitude.

        1. Brochettaward

          Lebron of course benefited from playing in the weaker conference. I doubt he even gets to the conference finals in the West.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      I can’t stand James. If I was the owner, I’d be completely urinated off at him. You fired a good coach and installed James’ bobo Tyron Lue just for him. You fucked up your payroll situation with a major mid season trade just for James. Now he isn’t sure he wants to come back?

      Yeah, I’m not sure I’d be happy to keep putting up with his nonsense. The downside is that without him, your prospects look terrible for years and years.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        And now there’s rumours of him leaving like the baby he is for L.A.

        He’s like Ronaldo in soccer. No sooner than Real Madrid (and all its favourable calls) win the CL, he was talking about if it was his last game with them as his teammates celebrated in the back ground.

        It’s all about them.

        Great dominant players. Amazing. But shitty attitudes on the court/pitch.

        1. Rhywun

          They’ve been untethered from reality for most of their lives and forgot how to behave like normal humans.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            You may have hit on something. LeBron has had everyone kiss his ass since he was in Jr. High. When was the last time that he had any sort of real adversity to temper his character?

            Look at MJ. He admits that getting cut from the team in high school motivated him for the rest of his life. Bird dropped out of school and worked on a garbage truck before he got his act together.

          2. egould310

            Jordan wasn’t even the best player on those Tarheels teams. He flipped a switch sometime in his 2nd season in the NBA, and started to become Jordan, 23, AirJordan, like Mike, etc.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          That is why I scoff at the notion that he is one of the best ever. Physically? Sure, he is in the top 10 in pure physical skills. But as an overall player, there are at least 20 people I would pick to start a team before him.

          The greats all stayed put and people built teams around him. James doesn’t seem to have the mental/leadership/competitive thing that the truly great have. So he jumps to other teams. When he went to Miami, he was a big part of it, but Wade was the leader of that team.

          The one ring he won in Cleveland was because Kyrie Irving played out of his mind.

          1. Nephilium

            One of my favorite parts of Cleveland sports history was the Cav’s owner’s response to the Decision. I doubt him leaving this time will cause such bad blood here in Cleveland.

          2. Rhywun

            That’s an impressive display of petulance. I don’t think I’ve seen anything quite like it.

  35. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. I blame Trump for the US falling behind our betters in Europe.

    Why isn’t the NEA funding provacative art like this anymore? As a taxpayer, I am outraged that we are falling behind.

    1. But your Holiness, compared to the other spending it is a drop in the bucket and doesn’t matter! So we should just keep the tap of no strings attached free grant money flowing in perpetuity!

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      So deep and thoughtful and I’m incredibly impressed with their artistic skill sets.

    3. dorvinion

      That’s some really shitty art.

    4. Akira

      I think something happened with art (all types of art – visual, poetry, literature, etc.) sometime in the late 1800s onwards: It seemed to move away from representing human experiences and emotions and moved towards meaningless vulgarity and juvenile attempts at shock value.

      I’m not saying that there’s no worthy art produced these days. But this dissolution of standards in the field of art has led to a situation where anyone can just produce some random shit (sometimes literally) and call it a masterpiece, and throngs of “art critics” will heap praise upon it as some kind of subversive, ground-breaking work of genius.

      I’m not going to sit here and pretend to have a grand aesthetic theory of what defines good art, but if a total amateur could do an imitation that is indistinguishable from a genuine work, I think there’s something fishy.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    The sudden emergence of personality cult politics horrifies the NYT editorial board.

    Forget policy. Forget ideology. Forget hating Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama or Nancy Pelosi. From Indiana to Arizona to Ohio, the name of the game for Republican candidates this primary cycle has been to flaunt their Trump love. And woe unto anyone deemed insufficiently smitten.

    This week’s primary elections underscored the striking degree to which President Trump has transformed the Republican Party from a political organization into a cult of personality.

    ———-

    Assuming that American democracy endures, a party organized around a single extreme personality seems like a brittle proposition. But Mr. Trump’s grip on the Republican psyche is unusually powerful by historical standards, because it is about so much more than electoral dynamics. Through his demagogic command of the party’s base, he has emerged as the shameless, trash-talking, lib-owning fulcrum around which the entire enterprise revolves.

    Never before in the history of America. Personality cultism is anathema to democracy. The Cult of Trump will destroy democracy and lead us down the path of authoritarianism, slavery and doom.

    If only we had a Savior to whom we could turn in our hour of desperation and need. Why did we turn our backs on Obama? He did not forsake us, we spurned Him and repudiated His gracious love and goodness. Damn the 22nd Amendment. Damn it to Hell!

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      NYT needs to go look at those creepy videos and songs teachers and fans did worshipping Obama. Even SNL paid a creepy homage to him.

      Let’s call this….projection.

    2. Rhywun

      How many editorials have they written about the Republicans being “disorganized” or “tearing themselves apart” or some such?

  37. Gilmore

    re: Iran “helping” 9/11 Al-q dudes

    i’m not so sure that’s what the evidence really suggests. yes, they didn’t want it being known they passed through. that would be likely because they knew those dudes were bad news and wanted to maintain official distance for obvious reasons. it doesn’t really make them “on the same team”.

    its a tough point because it is a classic case of ‘enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend’. IOW, “Complex”.

    for example: Al Q’s principal beefs? Are as radical sunni fundys who see Saudi family as apostate regime for failing to be true stewards of Islam. Iran doesn’t mind this at all, considering the Saudi’s were/are their arch enemies.

    Yet if Al Q saw Saudi + Egyptian regimes as apostates who needed overthrow, if anything they held Shiite Iran in even lower regard
    (yet far lower priority; because the apostate regimes were compliant and complicit w/ US, while Iran agreed that the ‘far enemy’ USA was the main problem facing Islam)

    I just find the 1-dimensional way that story is being pushed to be uncompelling. I think Iran, knowing that the Al Q types were generally about “bad things for US”, surely looked the other way whenever intel about them came across the desk. “not our problem”. But also probably took steps to ensure that they didn’t mix their business up w/ them, for obvious reasons. When you’re already a ‘rogue regime’, these are the awkward situations you sometimes find yourself in

    in general, i stories about the middle east, when pushed to american audience, generally only fall into one of a few preconceived templates that make sense to readers who are otherwise blithely ignorant of anything to do w/ complexity of the region’s politics. Even journalists who may *want* to try and communicate nuance inevitably end up running dumber versions of stories simply because thats how you sell news.

    1. straffinrun

      If I didn’t know better, it would look like they are setting the ground work for future attacks on Iran. Giving passage to undesirable people that will fuck with people that you also dislike seems likely to be happening across the globe. I don’t get what Free Beacon is getting at. Sorry, but I don’t trust any media to be just “giving us the news”.

      1. Gilmore

        “” I don’t get what Free Beacon is getting at””

        I think its just a very-dumb, standard formula of “conservatives do better, politically, when “Enemies of the USA” are in the news“.

        Both Norks and Iran serve a domestic political purpose for the right. They’re ‘enemies’ we can constantly hem and haw about, but who are otherwise internationally-toothless. they’re extremely convenient. FWIW i think the left uses them in similar-but-different ways; less different than people might imagine, at least

        does iran genuinely do very-bad-terrorist-shit on regular basis? yes, they do. they also do shit very similar to what we did in Iran: send weapons, advisors, to places and try and overthrow the country. i’m not suggesting they arent bad dudes w/ dangerous grudges; just that, like you suggest, news about them serves so many venal political purposes that reporting often amounts to 20% ‘fact’ and 80% ‘spin’.

        1. Gilmore

          ” shit very similar to what we did in Iran Syria” is what i meant to say

        2. straffinrun

          Annoying that you have to say that Iran does bad shit, but…well, we all have to make these caveats.
          That “evidence” of Iranian malfeasance is weak gruel when you’ve got countries across the globe doing the same shit and with the US being the biggest culprit.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            Iran is a pretty big player though in the bad shit realm.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Or Iran is trying to humblebrag for their own domestic & regional audience about helping fuck the Great Satan.

  38. Count Potato

    BREAKING: Matthew Yglesias is an asshole.

    https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/1004758471865192448

    1. AlmightyJB

      Projecting again. Talk about smug.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Is it really “breaking” when we’ve all known it for a decade+?

  39. Tundra

    My favorite road trip movie is Midnight Run.

    It’s chock full of great scenes and precedes De Niro crawling up his own asshole.

    1. Chipwooder

      Terrific movie!

    2. straffinrun

      My whole life is the last line of that movie. “Looks like I’m walkin`”

      1. Tundra

        Right? It’s a perfect ending,

        1. straffinrun

          It was the movie I popped in when I wanted to sleep. Seen it dozens of times. Love it.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Yeh. That movie was a blast.

    4. One that I find seriously underrated is “Harry and Tonto”.

  40. Pope Jimbo

    This is why I married an Asian woman. I’m trying to keep my line from going extinct.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      The other reason I married a Korean gal. I mean if they are willing to chug squid sperm, I’m in, right?

      That means the spermatophores remained alive and well. It is thought they were looking for a soft place to embed when they settled in her tongue and gums.

      The woman, from South Korea, needed immediate medical assistance after the sperm inseminated her mouth, according to the report in the Journal of Parasitology.

      1. Rhywun

        Whelp, there’s goes my brunch plans.

      2. Lackadaisical

        Fisherman’s wife not a how-to ladies.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        I have that as an mp3 and am fond of sending it to people that are bitching about something. I also tell them “this is what works for me when I’m blue. YMMV”

        1. SoberPhobic

          Same. And it’s even better at a bar .

  41. Count Potato

    “Before I met and wrote about Charles Krauthammer, I thought there were three basic kinds of Jews, religiously speaking: Reform, Conservative, Orthodox. He taught me a new category. “I consider myself a Shinto Jew,” he told me. “I engage in ancestor worship.””

    https://twitter.com/bariweiss/status/1005141960523419648

  42. straffinrun

    “We know seat belts save lives in vehicle crashes. Issuing tickets was not our goal, but it was a way to remind people of the importance of such a simple action.”

    Getting fucked by the state is a simple action.

  43. Count Potato

    “The War on Bathroom Privacy

    American law and tradition take it for granted that the sexes are entitled to safe, separate, and private facilities. Until relatively recently, progressives embraced the idea. A 1975 op-ed in the Washington Post, for example, argued that “separate places to disrobe, sleep, perform personal bodily functions are permitted, in some situations required, by regard for individual privacy. Individual privacy, a right of constitutional dimension, is appropriately harmonized with the equality principle.”

    The author of that op-ed: Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

    In numerous criminal law and correctional contexts, courts have found a Fourteenth Amendment fundamental right to privacy from the opposite sex viewing Americans’ nude bodies. Equally important, Title IX treats the use of private facilities by members of the opposite sex as sexual harassment, since it exposes people of one sex to the unwanted presence of the other sex. Title IX’s protections arose out of concerns about anatomical differences between the sexes; the notion of a “gender identity” separate from bodily sex would have confounded the law’s framers.

    Indeed, the whole edifice of Title IX protections would collapse if the sex binary—objective, anatomical, tied to human biology—were to give way to the fluid and ever-shifting categories of gender identity, which flow from mental states. It would be a strange and bitter irony if a law enacted to protect the female sex in public settings were to be reinterpreted by the courts in such a way as to destroy biological sex as a legally meaningful concept.”

    https://www.commentarymagazine.com/politics-ideas/the-war-on-bathroom-privacy/

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Collapse? No, become an ever more restrictive circle so the only solution is separate individual toilet rooms. Like how banks of payphone used to be except with a shitter and a sink in each one. More cost to build, more real estate taken up, too bad.

  44. Count Potato

    “So, for those keeping score, that’s a job lost and a gym closed because it’s just intolerable that a Christian either publicly express his moral point of view or that other Christians refuse to host events they find objectionable.

    In reading comments and commentary about this latest turn in the culture wars, I’m struck by the extent to which Berger’s views are cast as pure, indefensible bigotry — and that it’s entirely acceptable to not just label his Christian beliefs false but also to believe that they’re actually malicious.

    But isn’t that a bigoted view? What qualifies an external critic to define the veracity of a man’s faith or the purity of the thoughts in his heart? There seems to be a mistaken belief by some that sexual orientation is absolutely core to a person’s identity whereas religion is something else entirely — so superficial that any given person is one Vox explainer or Bill Maher monologue away from enlightenment. Yet only a few millennia of human history demonstrates that religion is so core to human identity that countless people have been willing to burn rather than recant their deepest beliefs.”

    https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/its-not-bigotry-to-believe-homosexuality-is-a-sin/

    1. Tundra

      Meh. Sinner’s money spends the same.

      1. Rhywun

        I disagree with French (as usual) but at the end of the day it’s that organization’s business and none of mine. This story is a waste of everyone’s time.

        1. Tundra

          Most culture war stories are.

    2. AlmightyJB

      If it’s not secular genderless collectivist marxism, its not to be tolerated.

    3. kbolino

      What qualifies an external critic to define the veracity of a man’s faith or the purity of the thoughts in his heart?

      I don’t think it’s possible to apply this principle universally.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Something completely different

    Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours.

    Yes. Indeed.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Arrogant no. Disdain eh.

    2. Tundra

      Isn’t he precious! Nothing like some collectivization and projection to start the day!

    3. Pope Jimbo

      Huh. That is close enough to some stuff a good friend wrote back in 2014 that I might have to tip him off that someone is stealing his shit.

    4. Brochettaward

      I’m all for putting extroverts into camps. I need some fucking peace and quiet.

      1. The Last American Hero

        Added bonus, they like hanging out with lots of people. Those camps would be a win-win.

    5. CPRM

      I’m not arrogant, I just think I’m better than you.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        I don’t think I’m better than you. I am better than you.

  46. AlmightyJB
    1. The Last American Hero

      How anybody can claim the party of superdelegates that keeps rigging the system to silence populist candidates is “the party of the little guy” is beyond me.

      OTOH, if it keeps that commie shithead from gaining more political power, it could be a good idea.

      1. Akira

        It’s just a glimpse into how the Democrat Party would run the country if they were given total control: All decisions are made by a panel of TOP MEN, but with a thin veneer of egalitarian democracy.

  47. Count Potato

    “Couple lose custody of child after using toy lion they thought was Jesus as their lawyer

    A couple have lost custody of their child after using a stuffed lion as their lawyer and claiming it spoke the word of God to them. The little girl, now aged one, from British Columbia, was removed from their care when she was just a month old and her parents can now only visit her during supervised visits. They reportedly refused for her to have any medical tests, including hearing tests, blood tests, eye drops and vaccinations because of ‘strong religious beliefs’, a court heard. The couple argued their rights were violated and they had been discriminated against when a judge ruled their daughter should be taken away from them. During the court case, they refused legal aid and used the stuffed animal as their lawyer, arguing that Jesus Christ was acting as their witness and judge.”

    https://metro.co.uk/2018/06/07/couple-lose-custody-of-child-after-using-toy-lion-they-thought-was-jesus-as-their-lawyer-7612419/

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Everyone knows that all lawyers are always a-lion….

      They simply can’t tell the truth.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I hope that psycho never gets that child back.

    3. CPRM

      These people are crazy. Jesus lives in my stuffed Ninja Turtle.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    They reportedly refused for her to have any medical tests, including hearing tests, blood tests, eye drops and vaccinations because of ‘strong religious beliefs’, a court heard.

    Only the State may decide when it is appropriate to withhold medical care.

    1. Lackadaisical

      Yeah, none of those are particularly important to have done, imo. I just went along with it because I didn’t want the hospital to call fucking CPS on us. Getting vaccines eventually is a good idea though we did refuse the one they offered at the hospital.

      1. Lackadaisical

        I think the ‘eye drops’ are actually a detriment to the child, theres no reason to give antibiotics to them unless the woman has some sort of STD, which my wife doesn’t have, so… fuck you NYS.

  49. Count Potato

    “Anne Hathaway: America’s Greatest Actress”

    http://freebeacon.com/blog/anne-hathaway-americas-greatest-actress/

    No mention of Havoc?

    1. Rhywun

      Interstellar is the only movie on that list I’ve seen. Otherwise I didn’t know who she was.

    2. Urthona

      She has eyes the size of saucers.

    3. AlmightyJB

      I saw her in Batman and the Alice in Wonderland movies. She was good. Definitely Would.

      1. Lackadaisical

        Shes got decent DSL.

  50. Tundra

    From that Metro link:

    Met Police officer reveals how to survive a moped gang attack

    Police reportedly deal with an average of 430 ‘moped-enabled’ crimes each week in London, which are mainly made up of mobile phone thefts.

    It’s England. Why not just ban mopeds?

    1. Rhywun

      Try to avoid texting or using your phone until you’re in a secure spot, like a café.

      Millenials hardest hit.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Or learn that that there is no such thing as a secure spot and have a little stuational awareness.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      https://youtu.be/DCT41Iq9UyU

      It was filmed in England.

  51. Count Potato

    “Facebook Bans Buddhist Monks For Muslim Hate Messages—But They’re Fighting Back With Fake Profiles”

    http://www.newsweek.com/myanmar-monks-pledge-make-fake-accounts-following-facebook-propaganda-ban-967916

    1. The Last American Hero

      I thought they fought back with a staff and the Eagle Claw Death Strike.

  52. Brochettaward

    Media’s latest hot take – Macron out masculines Trump in handshake duel.

    Of course, sort of like the fish feeding crap in japan, somehow we just don’t end up with the full video of the incident. In this case, we only get pictures. So you have a Yahoo story that reads like this:

    Another picture appears to show the 71-year-old Trump wincing slightly as he struggles to get to grips with his 40-year-old counterpart.

    Yes…that picture where both seem to be making faces for the camera. Or wait – Macron’s wink/smirk is because he knows Trump is going to have to ice his hand later whereas he’ll be finger banging Merkel into the night.

    1. Lackadaisical

      Looks like Macron (or Trump) put Trump’s hand at a bad angle, but I don’t believe it has a particularly hard handshake form Macron— hes not even using his index finger.

    2. CPRM

      The real take away here is that Trump’s hands look bigger than Macron’s. Macron must have baby hands.

      1. CPRM

        Also, “Whoa there scamp! Grip like a vice!” the demeaning way an adult laughs at a child’s handshake.

    3. The Last American Hero

      If I was Trump, and somebody tried to outsqueeze my handshake, I’d bend that fuckers thumb back to his wrist and the media photos could be some Eurotrash head of state on his knees wincing in pain.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      finger banging Merkel

      *looks at avatar pic*

      Avatar checks out.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Rogue nation

    At his press conference with Trudeau, Macron called Trump’s tariffs, which risk plunging the United States and its allies into a spiraling trade tit-for-tat, “unilateral and illegal.” He warned that the United States was embracing isolationism and neglecting “its own history, its own values.” Ahead of the G7 meeting—which includes Canada, the United States, Japan, France, Italy, Germany, and the United Kingdom—he noted that while Trump may not “mind being isolated,” the other “six countries represent [shared] values” and “true international force.” He vowed to “fight hegemony,” which he defined as the “survival of the fittest,” a concept he has previously associated with those who practice unilateralist foreign policy. “Hegemony,” Macron said, spells “the end of the rule of law.”

    And Macron, it turns out, has company. On Friday, European Council President Donald Tusk, who warned days into the Trump administration that the new American president posed a threat to European unity, arrived in Quebec for the G7 summit and reported that the threat, in fact, was actually much bigger than that. The “rules-based international order is being challenged,” he argued—“not by the usual suspects, but by its main architect and guarantor: the U.S.”

    Trump’s America is like a rebellious intemperate teenager who doesn’t want to take out the trash.

    1. Lackadaisical

      He warned that the United States was embracing isolationism

      If only.

      he noted that while Trump may not “mind being isolated,” the other “six countries represent [shared] values” and “true international force.”

      Yeah, about that. The whole of the G-7 “[…] represent 46% of the global gross domestic product (GDP) based on nominal values; and 32% of the global GDP based on purchasing power parity”, of which the US comprise over 50%… so, suck it. Though it would be nice to see our news media, including the state-run NPR, not backstabbing our own government in negotiations with foreign nations.

      The “rules-based international order is being challenged,” he argued—“not by the usual suspects, but by its main architect and guarantor: the U.S.”

      I had no idea a 20% tariff on steel and aluminum could bring down the whole world order. *eye roll*

      I’m impressed with the level of ball the Eurotrash are engaging in though, didn’t think they had the stones.

      1. kbolino

        Isolationism is a term that they don’t even understand but just know is bad. Like deflation, or voter identification. These dumb fucks would probably agree with statements like “the Nazis were isolationist”.

        1. kbolino

          Another one that’s apropos, meritocracy.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t think I’m better than you. I am better than you.

    I’m different, and I don’t care who knows it

  55. Count Potato

    “Bill Maher Is Hoping America Suffers a Crippling ‘Recession’ to Get Rid of Trump

    “I feel like the bottom has to fall out at some point—and by the way, I’m hoping for it, because I think one way you get rid of Trump is a crashing economy,” argued Maher. “So please, bring on the recession. Sorry if that hurts people, but it’s either root for a recession or you lose your democracy.””

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/bill-maher-is-hoping-for-a-crippling-recession-to-get-rid-of-trump

    1. Lackadaisical

      You know who else used economic dysfunction to gain power?

    2. Rhywun

      Trump’s response tweets practically write themselves.

      1. kbolino

        Attitudes like these are precisely how you get politicians like Trump in the first place. You stupid rubes, you should struggle to make ends meet, and be glad of it, so that your betters can get what they want.

    3. Brochettaward

      In order to save democracy, we have to smother it with a pillow in its crib while it sleeps. Then rape its corpse. Gut it, and then turn it into a leatherface mask. It just has to be done.

    4. kbolino

      So besides the fact that Maher is a grade-A asshole, I’m struggling to parse this. We need to have a recession, so that Trump loses an election, so that we can restore the democracy that we don’t have.

      How does our non-democracy have elections, exactly?

      1. The Last American Hero

        The same way media talking heads that dissent are being rounded up in cattle cars and sent to the camps…oh, wait.

  56. This French Open final has been tremendous so far.

    1. Rhywun

      It got a little one-sided for my taste.

      1. At least you’re the one person who isn’t going to say ZOMG SHE HAD A BOOB REDUCTION AND DOESNT MAKE ME WANT TO MASTURBATE ANY MORE !!!111!!!

        1. Lackadaisical

          Q softest hit.

        2. Rhywun

          Which one? Gotta be Halep.

          *googles*

          OMG the before pics.

  57. CPRM

    Oh, MSNBC, you little scamps. President Donald Trump’s Longtime Love Affair With…Asbestos? | All In | MSNBC Asbestos must come from Russia or something.

    1. It comes from Quebec.

    2. kbolino

      Asbestos is an excellent material for everything but respiratory health. If there were some way to use it while eliminating, or at least greatly reducing, the occupational hazards for people who mine, process, install, service, or remove it then it would be a major benefit to many things, not the least of which being fireproofing.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Asbestos is too dangerous. One single little microscopic fiber in your lungs and *BLAM*, instant mesothelioma & death.

      2. creech

        I once worked for a Canadian company that used asbestos fibers to make rubber gaskets. In fiorty some years, there wasn’t one employee that put in a claim for asbestosis or meso. Yet, yes, people with meso,who may have walked by an installed gasket, sued the shit out of the company.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    “So please, bring on the recession. Sorry if that hurts people, but it’s either root for a recession or you lose your democracy.”

    Sure. Why the fuck not? It’s not like Maher will suffer in a recession.

    These people couldn’t give a fuck less about democracy. They want to be ruled by an authoritarian in their own image. They imagine themselves as part of some grand aristocracy, lording it over the deplorable plebs.

    Maher can jump off a tall building.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    You know who else used economic dysfunction to gain power?

    FDR?

    1. Lackadaisical

      Got it in one. 🙁

    2. kbolino

      He had the bold vision to do what Hoover was already doing, the cunning to get slapped down by the Supreme Court repeatedly, and the sheer tenacity to violate long established norms (remember how important those are, all of a sudden?) to hold onto power.

    3. Akira

      As an added bonus, he is the only president in modern history to order an explicitly race-based internment.

      And he’s a Democrat Party hero to this day.

  60. PieInTheSKy

    So Halep finally won a grand slam. The breast reduction was worth it

    1. The Last American Hero

      I wonder if he’s including Venezuela in the list of offenders, because they’re from his ‘hood and they pull a couple of barrels a year out of the ground.

  61. Rope Snake

    I love Gracie Allen so much. I’ma watch this tonight.