The Hat and The Hair-Animated Episode 5: Maverick

Does anybody really like John McCain?

Comments

136 responses to “The Hat and The Hair-Animated Episode 5: Maverick”

  1. CPRM

    If any of you come across some good Trump audio (has to be clean sounding and not echoey) feel free to pass it along to me.

  2. Brochettaward

    The Hair saying he doesn’t want anyone to die seems a bit out of character to me.

    1. CPRM

      The mustache is the follicled character that wants people to die.

      1. Psycho Effer

        When can we expect to see Bolton’s ‘Stache make an appearance?

        1. CPRM

          When I get a good story for it? Sheesh.

          1. Psycho Effer

            That doesn’t stop SugarFree.

  3. AlmightyJB

    Well if this doesn’t work out they can train them to be pilots.

    https://hotair.com/archives/2018/05/22/germany-come-perfect-job-migrants/

    1. Drake

      Or give them guns and make them cops or border guards.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Some thing like this?

    2. Florida Man

      Is Germany’s unemployment really that low or are they gaming the numbers the way the US does?

      1. Only if they’ve reclassified “Welfare Recipient” as a job title.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It might be if you exclude immigrants

        1. Florida Man

          If they are at “full employment” using the immigrants to fill empty jobs is a better idea than having welfare slums. Keeping people out of jobs isn’t going to stop terrorist anymore than banning guns is going to stop school shootings.

    3. Brett L

      I was under the understanding that Serbs, Croats, and Poles were already driving plenty of trucks in the EU

      1. Florida Man

        I feel like I have to preface everything with “if true…” now a days.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      “unlikely to find work in the next ten years”

      6 months or get the fuck out.

      SLD: I’m open borders and anti-welfare state

      1. Six months? You’re too lenient. If they can’t prove they’re net contributers Now they go back.

        1. Florida Man

          What about stay at home moms and adult students?

          1. What makes you think they should get special treatment?

          2. Playa Manhattan

            adult student is pretty much the opposite of net contributor.

          3. Florida Man

            But they’re working on a 3 month certificate in welding to become a higher net contributor.

          4. Why are they doing it on their own rather than as a paid traineeship at an employer? Even around here there are companies willing to fund that type of training to get people to work.

          5. Only if that’s their sole vocation.

            If they’re working full time to cover the inflated price tag, they might be foolish, but they can still be net contributers.

          6. R C Dean

            If they are paying full out-of-state tuition and not getting any assistance of any kind, I’ll call students net contributors.

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    She looka Like a Man!, Great job again!

    1. wdalasio

      OT: I guess there aren’t many honors graduates in Publix management.

      1. wdalasio

        Well I screwed that one up.

        1. Florida Man

          There is a job at Publix waiting for you…

  5. AlmightyJB

    Rapper throws fan under the bus.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-44209141

    1. Florida Man

      She should ask for a refund of all the money she has spent on Lamar. “If I cant say it, I shouldn’t listen to it.”

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      What a jackass.

    3. OneOut

      Black privilege.

      1. ^^^Avatar: Q-approved.

    4. Thank Gosh! Danny Devito’s biggest fan’s tweets are newz.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Does anybody really like John McCain?

    John McCain does. He loves John McCain. He’s the bestest.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Someone’s muscling in on Lindsey Graham’s turf.

      1. Brett L

        I don’t think John was ever flexible enough to give himself the fellating Lindsay did.

  7. straffinrun

    Good stuff. Poor Suckabee Sanders. Sad!

    1. Chipwooder

      Donald does not heart Huckabees

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      That depiction of her was remarkably evenhanded.

  8. Chipwooder

    “Pictured: Literally Hitler, 10 Years Ago”

  9. Love the NYT articles.

    And the coda with the Mexican kid was the best.

      1. CPRM

        If you zoom in you may be able to read some of the nuggets in there. (written by me, not actual NYT articles)

        1. Old Man With Candy

          STEVE SMITH and Zardoz are a nice touch.

          1. STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU NICE TOUCH

      2. No, that’s a good thing, you’ll need stuff like that for the special features section when the DVD comes out.

    1. BakedPenguin

      the coda with the Mexican kid was the best

      That was amusing.

  10. BakedPenguin

    Dislikes: Pinacoladas and getting caught in the rain.

    Rupert Holmes is cancer.

    1. Chipwooder

      Verdict: true.

      My wife made me listen to that song last night.

    2. Florida Man

      I find it implausible that they were both fed up with the relationship and looking to cheat and then decided they really belong together.

      1. invisible finger

        Probably based on Bill And Hilary

    3. Raven Nation

      Well, your Demons certainly schooled my Blues on the weekend.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Yeah, that hasn’t been out of the ordinary this year (sorry, mate, had to be said), although I admit it was ugly. It was the type of match where at first you’re loving your team crushing it, but towards the end you’re like this kid.

        If it makes you feel better, they may well get their comeuppance against Adelaide.

        1. Raven Nation

          Yeah, the win against Essendon the previous week gave cause for optimism.

          I have no problem with Melbourne: if Carlton sucks, I’d like to see Melbourne or St. Kilda win the flag. Just like it was great to see Footscray finally win a second.

          1. BakedPenguin

            I didn’t watch the match, but it was a good upset, and gave the Blues fans something to hold on to, finally. The Saints are currently playing at about the level of the Blues, so that’s probably a no-go for a couple years (for either team). The Demons have a shot, although I think they’ll need to ramp up their defensive chops if they want some silverware. They score points by the bushel, but they’re not always that great at stopping others from doing so.

            I don’t follow the VFL, so I can’t say anything intelligent about Footscray (and yes, I recognize the fact that I might be unable to say anything intelligent about the AFL, the NFL, US baseball, politics, or anything else).

          2. BakedPenguin

            Ah, crap. Sorry if you were talking about the Western Bulldogs.

            Although they will also probably need a couple years of rebuilding.

  11. Chipwooder

    EL.

    OH.

    EL.

    If the progs actually lose seats, the salty tears of November 2016 will have been but mere scraps compared to what would be to come.

      1. IF YOU SAY SO /STEVE SMITH

    1. Florida Man

      Is this the same polls having Hillary winning with 1.7 billion votes?

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I am thinking this is an outlier.

        1. Chipwooder

          Most likely. I’m still enjoying the agitation this has to be causing the loons.

    2. Raven Nation

      Eh, registered voters is not usually a good metric.

      1. Yeah, don’t forget the Cemetary and Alien votes.

    3. Gilmore

      in 2015 i think i complained once every day =

      “Political opinion polling more than 6 months away from elections is MEANINGLESS”*

      no one listened to me.

      its less scientific than weather forecasts equally-far-out; because w/ weather you have 100s of years of almanacs and models of cyclic patterns. But people aren’t the bloody weather, and what they think today has little to do with what they’re going to be thinking come winter.

      *caveat: not ‘100% meaningless’, maybe, but certainly meaningless to the question of ‘what’s going to happen in the future’. What it is meaningful for is mostly “right now”, and how whatever headlines/events are happening right now give a small number of people slightly different balance of sentiment towards X vs. Y party. If i were a political person i’d look at those changing sentiments and try to establish, “what moved the needle here?” Kanye? Diplomacy w/ Norks? dropping tariff-talk? Even getting a grip on that wouldn’t necessarily mean anything towards future results, but it would give people in the political-messaging business an idea about what buttons to try and press in weeks leading into election.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        *plugs ears*

        LALALALALALALALALAAAAAAAA…….

      2. Tulip

        Oh Cassandra, whine, whine.

        1. Florida Man

          Great. Now I want wine. Are you happy?!?

          1. MikeS

            Huh. I now want Cassandra (SFW)

          2. Florida Man

            Ooh wee

      3. BakedPenguin

        I remember seeing the sports betting odds showing Trump at 6-1 to 10-1, and thinking “that’s fricken crazy, there are a ton of people who are voting for him, but keeping there head down because they don’t want any shit. I certainly wouldn’t have gone so far as to have predicted a Trump win, but at those odds, I’d have been happy to put down a flyer.

        1. Nephilium

          Only partially related, but I was entertained by a bunch of stories popping up in my news feed about how the Vegas Sports Books may be in trouble if the Knights win the Cup. Some of them took bets at 500:1 odds pre-season, and some locals threw down $10-$20 on them because… why not? The article said that each of the major sports books have at least one outstanding ticket that will pay out $50,000 if the Knights win.

          1. Florida Man

            Huh. I thought the way books were run they always got a percent no matter which team won.

          2. If the money moves faster than the books can keep up there can be a problem.

          3. BakedPenguin

            Ha ha ha ha. That is amusing. Pay up, suckas.

          4. Nephilium

            It does explain why the odds on the Browns winning the Superbowl went from 215:1 last year to 50:1 this year. Last year, I gladly threw $10 down on the flyer. For just a 50:1 payout, the story isn’t as good, nor is the payout.

            I did have several Brits tell the tale of a football team that all of the fans threw a tenner on every year, and one year when the odds were high (200-300:1), the team won the championship. So all of these hooligans got a huge payout, and most of them blew the cash over the course of a weekend.

    4. Florida Man

      Even if the dems take the House it won’t change anything. The pubs had the chance to repeal Obamacare. They didn’t. They had a chance to balance the budget. They didn’t. They had a chance to relax gun laws. They didn’t. Why should their base reward them? I won’t she a tear.

      1. Florida Man sees through the meth haze and speaks the truth.

        It will be mega-lulz if the Dems take the House and actually impeach Trump.

        1. Sean

          It will be mega-lulz if the Dems take the House and actually impeach Trump.

          Yeah…I don’t want to live in that timeline.

          1. Florida Man

            Why not? The best they get is censor. Then Trump gives an epic non-apology from the floor.

          2. Florida Man

            Edit: Censure

          3. Gadfly

            Dang. I had been against the idea, but now I’m for it. I want to see that speech.

          4. Sean

            It legitimizes witch hunts and we will never see the end of these types of shenanigans.

          5. Florida Man

            I think that train has left the station and sank.

          6. Sean

            *sigh*

            I guess I should up my bourbon budget.

      2. kinnath

        SCOTUS

        SCOTUS

        SCOTUS

        SCOTUS

        SCOTUS

      3. R C Dean

        Legislatively, having the Dems take the House won’t make much difference.

        They would also immediately ramp up the TDS machine with hearings and shit. Whether that would be a bug or a feature, I couldn’t say. Basically, more of what I consider palace intrigue, with little to no effect on anyone outside the Swamp.

      4. Urthona

        The Republicans didn’t have the Senate though. They had a razor thin margin there blocked by the same three RINOS every time. If they had the same margins as the House, the Obamacare repeal would’ve easily passed.

        1. Florida Man

          51 Republican senators and 2 independent. If the elephants can’t get stuff done with a majority, what good are they?

          1. Urthona

            Because they dont truly have a majority imo. As I said. A couple more actual republicans and — yes — Obamacare repeal passes.

          2. Viking1865

            Exactly this.

            Rand Paul’s “Penny Plan” had a floor vote in the Senate. Only 21 Senators voted for a moderate 1% annual step down on non SSDI spending over the next 20 or so years.

            Every single one of them was a Republican. The entire Senate Democrat caucus and half the so called Republicans wouldn’t vote for a fucking 1% annual cut to non Social Security Spending.

          3. Florida Man

            So keep voting for them? Sorry, this is why I won’t shed a tear. The vast majority of Republicans have no interest in fiscal responsibility or reducing government involvement in our lives.

          4. Viking1865

            I never said anything about voting for them, but both parties are not equally bad on spending. The Republican Party is split on whether or not to cut spending. The Democrat Party is in unanimous agreement that more spending is required.

            Like, would you rather have Rand Paul or Elizabeth Warren running the Senate agenda?

  12. trshmnstr

    I wish I could watch this at work, but I’d be shitcanned before McCain said “Mai fuhrendzz” while stroking his bleach white testicle hairs.

  13. ron73440

    The Mexican kid got me

  14. ron73440

    DAMMIT

    T the Mexican kid got me a funny look for my wife because I snorted

    1. ron73440

      This is why I don’t post from my phone

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Snorted what?

      1. ron73440

        Apparently coke

        1. MikeS

          So, we have Mexicans and drugs. Where’s the ass sex?

  15. wdalasio

    So, I guess there aren’t many honors graduates in Publix management.

    1. 4.89 grade-point average

      Grade inflation ain’t no thing, but here’s almost a full letter grade above perfect.

      1. trshmnstr

        I have no problem indicating that some kids took more rigorous classes than others. I’m just not sure that the GPA is the best place for that. Oh, and get rid of plusses and minuses (and their associated GPA tomfoolery… looking at you 4.25 A+)

        There’s a vintage trshmnstr rant in the Purdue Exponent circa 2008 about how fucking stupid plusses and minuses are, especially when you switch to them when your students are halfway through a degree.

      2. Rasilio

        Not sure about that school but some schools have switched to a 5 point scale

        1. “I got an E in Social Justice.”

        2. Florida Man

          This one goes to 11…

          1. trshmnstr

            In high school, mine was a 12 point scale. They had to send a conversion chart in every college application package. They went to a goofy 4+ point scale a few years after I graduated.

        3. But Enough About Me

          Back in the day at the University of Alberta (Edmonton, Canada), they used a nine-point scale applied to a normal distribution, called the Stanine scale. Translating that scale into other Universities’ scores was always a nightmare for transferring students or those going from a Bachelor’s at the U. of A. to a Masters almost anywhere else in the Western world.

    2. Florida Man

      Rules is rules.
      -cake nazi

      1. “Bake that Nazi cake, (((Baker))),”

        -GaryJ

    3. You know who else will “cum loud”?

      1. F. Stupidity Jr.

        Sally?

      2. MikeS

        Quiet Riot?

        1. Chipwooder

          You mean Slade

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Muh HACKURZ

    Russia’s alleged involvement in the hacking first came to public attention nearly two years ago, when CrowdStrike, a cybersecurity firm hired by the DNC, identified two separate Russian-affiliated breaches of the DNC networks in 2015 and 2016.

    Soon after, DCLeaks.com, WikiLeaks and hacker persona Guccifer 2.0 began releasing emails pilfered from DNC servers. In October 2016, the Department of Homeland Security and the director of national intelligence publicly blamed the Russian government for directing the email hacks.

    The January 2017 intelligence community assessment offered a more complete picture of the Russian activity. It described an influence operation that married covert cyber operations with disinformation to undermine confidence in U.S. democracy, damage Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and help Trump win.

    It also said that Russian intelligence gained access to DNC networks in July 2015 and maintained it until at least June 2016, noting that the GRU, Russia’s main intelligence agency, “had exfiltrated large volumes of data from the DNC” by May 2016.

    Where are the hacking indictments? By all means, let’s have a detailed exploration of the facts in open court. Let’s see just what the Demos were up to, and with whom they were sharing information. I’m sure Hillary and Podesta are eager to co-operate.

    1. A Fuggin White Male

      Guccifer 2.0 is literally a creation of the DNC to cover for the fact that an insider turned the emails over to Wikileaks.

      https://www.thenation.com/article/a-leak-or-a-hack-a-forum-on-the-vips-memo/

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      I’m still convinced that the e-mail hacks were by the Russians and that they were looking for dirt on Hillary to gain leverage over her if she became President. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had it. We just know what e-mails were released. They rest could have been far more damning. Also I believe the Russians were trying to get dirt on Trump as well. The attempts at collusion by the Russian “attorneys” were to get humint from the Trump campaign. That way it wouldn’t matter who was President as far as the Russians would be concerned as if you have dirt on both candidates you’ll be in control regardless of what the American people do.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      What servers were hacked again?

      Oh you mean those servers that Crowdstrike/DNC never turned over to the FBI for independent verification.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Yeah, That really did muddy the waters as the victims of the crime didn’t cooperate with the FBI.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Which leads to three possibilities; the servers had information on them that the DNC really did not want the FBI to see, or blaming the Russians was a load of bullshit because the hack was internal, or both.

          1. Dr. Fronkensteen

            Even if the hack was internal, it could have been the Russians as they could have paid/manipulated someone into hacking the servers. The problem is this issue is so politicized I doubt we’ll ever have the whole truth one way or the other.

    4. OneOut

      And Debbie Wasserman Shultz.

    1. Rasilio

      The theme is “Unlock a New World.”

      I see where they are going with this one. I can see it being a real driver of membership

      1. Florida Man

        What’s the age limit…asking for….let’s just go with Jesse.

        1. commodious spittoon

          You’re thinking OMWC. Jesse has more in common with Kristen when it comes to men, afaik.

          1. Florida Man

            But, gay sex?

          2. Brochettaward

            Kristen is into hairy Turks?

          3. Florida Man

            Oily hairy Turks

  17. Tonio

    Late to the party (can’t do H&H at work, mostly because of the giggling), but wanted to give belated thanks to CPRM who keeps knocking it out of the park. The Mexican kid at the end – brilliant homage to “If You Don’t buy this Magazine, We’ll Shoot this Dog.”

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    Well done. The spick at the end was perfect.